The Omega's Choice

"Anytime now, you'll find a prince charming," Elara says to me as she pauses her chores, looking up at me with a grin, then she shrugs. "Well, he might look like an undercooked pizza, but a mate is always charming in the eyes of a mate, right?"

I roll my eyes at her as I continue wiping the windows. I still can't believe I'm eighteen. It doesn't feel any different. I thought it would.

Maybe I would have the shimmer of a wolf that has reached the ripe age for mating.

But no. I feel the same way I felt at seventeen... sixteen... fifteen... fourteen...and so on.

Nothing much changes save for the body developments.

I woke up to the same scratchy sheets, the same creaky bed, and the same whisper of dust hanging in the air.

But technically, I'm an adult now. Not that it changes anything in the pack house. I still have chores. Still have rules. Still have to keep my head down.

"I can't wait till I turn eighteen though. Just three months left." Elara sighs dreamily.

"Shut up and clean," I tell her and she pouts, but she listens.

After a while, when my hands already begin to feel sore and it doesn't seem like the cleaning is going somewhere, I let out a long sigh.

"Urgh," I call out softly, dragging my rag along the windowsill. "I swear this dust multiplies overnight."

Elara snorts from where she's crouched, wiping down the baseboards.

"That's because nobody else cleans like we do. You and me, the unstoppable dream team of grime."

I laugh, shaking my head. "That's sad."

"But true," she says with a dramatic sigh. Then, lowering her voice and glancing around, she leans closer. "So... did you see them this morning?"

I don't need to ask who she means. There's only one couple worth gossiping about in this pack.

"Elara-" I warn, though the thoughts of them has me already smiling.

"Alpha Nox and Zara," she says in a dreamy whisper, like she's saying the names of royalty. "They passed me by the east corridor. I nearly dropped my mop. Zara looked gorgeous-that red dress, her hair all done up like a queen..."

"She always looks gorgeous," I say, shaking my head. "She's Zara."

I can't help but feel a little pang of jealousy. Some people just have it easy in life. Beauty, strength, fame, family name...Zara was one of those people.

Daughter to the Beta. Why wouldn't Alpha Nox look her way?

"She's perfect," Elara continues reverently. "She's everything a Luna should be. Powerful, graceful, and have you seen how Alpha Nox looks at her? Like she's the moon and he's the tide."

I wrinkle my nose. "Pretty sure he just looks like he wants to growl at everything."

"Oh please," she huffs, flinging a damp rag at me. It slaps against my arm and I yelp. "That man is hot, and you know it. If this year passes by and he still doesn't find his fated mate, I swear he's going to choose Zara. She's the obvious pick."

Truth. Valid truth. It has reached the point where everyone is just sitting and waiting for their mating ceremony to happen.

They've been together three years, and as it is, it's a clear fact that Alpha Nox must have never been assigned a fated mate.

Sad, not sad.

"You're too far gone," I tell Elara, flicking the rag back at her head.

She dodges it and grins. "Can you imagine? Being chosen by Alpha Nox. I'd faint on the spot."

"Yeah," I say quietly, pressing the rag against the wooden frame of the door. "I bet."

He's the dream man for every single lady. He's so fucking scary, but still, every lady wants him in their pants.

Me included. Which is why I feel a little jealous about his relationship with Eden. It makes me wish that he'd be mated to me before he can go ahead to mate with Zara.

If only...

My train of thoughts gets interrupted when something strange coils deep in my chest. It's like... a string, tugging. Gentle but persistent. I freeze.

It's warmth. Pressure. A presence.

"Elara..." I whisper, clutching my chest.

"What?" she says, noticing the change in my tone. "You okay?"

I don't hear what she says after and I'm too focused on the feeling that's building up in my chest.

My heart's hammering too fast, too sudden. The pull is growing stronger by the second, wrapping around me like vines. I glance over my shoulder, eyes wide.

There's no one in the hall save for Elara and I.

But I feel the presence of a third person in me, and the heavy sweet scent of citrus fogs my brain. My eyes cloud over, but it still feels like I can see the colours around me brighter.

Strange...

Someone rounds the corner and the heavy footfalls become louder in my ears. The air shifts with dominance, the kind of dominance that only one man in the pack possesses.

Alpha Nox.

Even with the scowl etched into his face like stone, he's breathtaking. All sharp lines and rough edges, dark hair slightly tousled, hazel eyes like storms waiting to break.

He glances around and his eyes find Elara. She bows and he nods, then his eyes shift and find mine for a split second.

Everything in my world stops.

My wolf howls in recognition, and the overwhelming need to be near him flows through my body like a feverish dream.

Him.

My mate?

My knees nearly give out and I clutch the windowsill to stay standing, blood rushing in my ears.

He doesn't stop walking though. Not at first. He's still striding forward with that cold, effortless confidence.

But then... he hesitates. His eyes narrow slightly as they turn back to me. His pupils dilate and he slows.

He knows.

Elara nudges me. "Tamsin, what the hell is going on? You're pale. Are you okay?"

What is going on? Alpha Nox is my fated mate.

Am I okay? Of course not. I can't even breathe at the current moment.

Alpha Nox stops right in front of me, and for one long second, he stares at me like he's seeing me-really seeing me-for the first time.

He growls, low and commanding. It doesn't make sense what he's saying at first, but my wolf begins to resonate with his growls. And the words form in my head.

"Mate. Mate. Mate."

My heart lurches as he takes one step closer. Then another.

He raises a hand-his fingers inches from my face, like he's about to touch me, cradle me, confirm what we both already know.

But then... something changes and his expression shutters. Gone is the surprise, the softness and back is the cold Alpha I'm used to.

His hands drop back to his sides as he straightens up, then he tucks them into his pockets.

He turns abruptly and resumes his walk down the hall like nothing happened, leaving behind his sweet scent of citrus.

I stand there frozen, watching his back disappear around the corner like nothing just happened. Like the most important moment of my life didn't even register for him.

"What... was that?" Elara's voice is low, stunned.

I blink back tears, biting my lip so hard I taste blood.

"Tamsin," she breathes, "he was looking right at you. Like... like he felt something."

I shake my head. "It's nothing. Just-maybe he was just confused. Maybe I was wrong."

She gives me a look. "Girl, his hand was practically on your face."

I say nothing to that.

She steps closer, and her eyes widen as she realises what just happened. "Shit. You're mated to Alpha Nox?"

I close my eyes. "Yeah."

"Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!" She panics, dropping her rag to the ground and pacing a bit before coming to stand in front of me.

"You don't look so happy," she comments. "It's a fucking dream come true!"

It is a dream come true. But something about the way his eyes left mine, the way he hesitated, the way he walked away... something about it feels like the slow unraveling of me.

Like a nightmare.

"Elara, stop-seriously!" I try to snatch the cleaning cloth out of her hand, but she's twirling with it like it's a flag and she's just won the Luna Olympics.

Yesterday, we both found out I was Alpha Nox's long awaited fated mate. I've had this gut feeling in my chest since then, especially as he didn't react in an encouraging way.

I also haven't been able to rest knowing that Zara is going to be heartbroken now because it means he'd have to give her up for me.

Would she want to be given up? Would he want to give her up?

I don't know and I'm very bothered.

But Elara?

She's been over the moon like she's the one mated to him.

"No, you stop pretending like this isn't the biggest thing to ever happen in this pack!" she giggles, practically dancing across the hallway. "Tamsin, you-sweet, pretty little you-are mated to Alpha Nox. THE Alpha Nox. I mean, the man literally paused mid-scowl to stare at you like you were a goddess come to life."

I blush, heat rushing to my cheeks. "It wasn't like that."

"It was exactly like that. And don't think I haven't told Sara from the kitchen. And Lena from laundry duty. And maybe the butcher's boy."

"Elara!"

She grins sheepishly. "News this good isn't meant to be kept secret."

I don't want to admit it, but for the first time since yesterday, I let myself feel a flutter of hope.

People smile when they see me now. They whisper behind hands and nod at me with something close to approval. Some even bow slightly. It's terrifying and wonderful and overwhelming all at once.

I'm just me. The girl who dusts shelves and folds towels. Not Luna material. But still... the bond is real. I felt it. He felt it too.

Maybe this is the beginning of everything changing.

Then, just after noon when we've concluded our duties, a messenger approaches me with a stiff bow.

He looks timid, like he wouldn't have talked to a girl if he wasn't asked to.

"The Alpha would like to see you in his office." He tells me and stays only long enough to be sure I heard every word he said.

My breath catches.

He wants to see me?

Elara grabs my arm the moment the messenger leaves. "Go," she whispers urgently. "He's probably going to kiss you. Or claim you. Or both. Oh my goddess, wear lip balm!"

I roll my eyes, but my heart pounds all the way up the stairs to his office. I have never been in a closed space with him before, and now with the bond...I can't even think.

My hands tremble as I raise them to knock on the dark oak door.

"Come in," his voice calls.

I hesitate a little, feeling my hands shake with enthusiasm? Fear? Both?

But I try to shake the emotions off and push way through the door and into his office.

He's standing by the window, back to me. The room smells like citrus and leather and... him.

My wolf stirs instantly. "He sure smells nice, don't you think?" she asks smugly, and I ignore her.

Not because I want to, but because I have forgotten how to function temporarily.

"Alpha," I say awkwardly, unsure if that's the appropriate title to use now.

He turns ever so slowly and when his hazel eyes flick to mine for a moment-just a moment-they soften.

My heart jumps.

He walks toward me, unhurried, and his gaze never leaves mine. It's a fight to keep my eyes on his molten gaze, but even when I try to look away, something stops me from pulling through with it.

His eyes get closer and closer and I have to crane my neck up to follow them and...oh?

I didn't notice how close he'd gotten to me. There's only a single thread of distance between us.

His hand reaches up-barely grazing the bare skin of my arm. It's a gentle, almost reverent touch, and it sends shivers down my spine.

He traces a line from my shoulder down to my wrist, his fingers slow and deliberate. My breath catches.

His other hand rises, threading through a lock of my hair. He leans closer, breathing me in like he can't help himself.

My heart pounds so loud, I'm sure he can hear it. I tilt my head, eyes fluttering shut. His lips are just a breath away from mine.

His breath fans my face and our lips graze. The mild connections sends jolts through my body. Sweet, delicious jolts that curl my toes. However, just when I expect him to take it further, he pulls away from me.

The movement is so abrupt, that it takes out the warmth that had built between us.

When I open my eyes, he's already stepped back, and his face is set like stone.

"What-?" I whisper, confused.

He doesn't answer right away. He instead puts a mile of distance between us, like standing too close to me is dangerous.

"So this is what it feels like," he says finally, voice clipped. "Fated mating bonds."

Relief washes over me, hearing him acknowledging the bond. I take a step forward. "I-"

"But it changes nothing."

I stop short in my tracks, unsure I heard him correctly.

"What?"

When his eyes meet mine and they're emotionless, devoid of the softness from just seconds ago. "You and I cannot go through with the mating."

The words slam into me like a blow and my mind tries to process them even though I already know what it means.

"I-I don't understand. You said you felt it-"

Kira howls on the inside, desperately trying to claw her way out of me.

"I did," he says. "But feelings mean nothing in this world. Bonds aren't always right. They aren't always... convenient."

Convenient?

"You're rejecting me?" My voice comes out small, fragile.

His jaw tightens. "Yes."

The single syllable cracks something inside me.

"Why?" I whisper.

He looks at me like the answer should be obvious. "You're not Luna material."

What?

The silence that settles between us is suffocating.

I can't breathe. I can't move. I can't think. I'm just... hollow on the inside.

"You're just a house girl," he continues, as if he's already moved on from the pain he's just inflicted. "Sweet, obedient, invisible. The Luna must be strong. Commanding. Respected, and that's not you, Tamsin."

I stagger back like he's struck me. "But I-"

"This discussion is over." He growls. I can see something in his eyes. Pain, maybe?

Why is he hurting us? Why is he doing this if it's hurting us?

"I reject you as my mate." His voice isn't sharp, but it isn't soft either as the words leave his lips.

My world shatters with blind unearthly pain, and I gasp, clutching my chest.

But I'm in too much pain to even dwell on anything else. It feels like my wolf, Kira, is digging her way out of me.

The bond isn't completely severed, but I feel it slowly begin it's process of burning out. The pain...I can't breathe.

My entire body is on fire.

Tears blur my vision. My chest tightens as I turn and rush out, barely making it to the hallway before I collapse against the cold stone wall.

The sobs come hard and fast, each one tearing through me like a storm. My heart aches, a physical pain in my chest that won't stop.

He rejected me...I've been...I've been rejected?

I'm not Luna material, he said. I'm house maid material...omega. Is he ashamed of it? Or is it just his excuse for not wanting to drop Zara for me?

Did I really think he'd drop Zara for me?

I manage to pick myself up from the ground and make my way to my room in the omega quarters.

I don't run into anyone I know on the way, thankfully. It's better to keep this rejection to myself until he's ready to make public of it. For the meantime however, I'm just going to bury myself or whatever is left of me.

And that's what I do.

I don't leave my room for three days.

I can't.

Everything hurts.

Elara tries to coax me out, knocking on my door with food and gossip and gentle words, but I pretend I'm asleep until she gives up.

I know she assumes that whatever happened in Nox's office was too much for my body to take and I'm crashing out...in a good way.

What happened was too much for my body to take alright? I'm breaking apart from the inside.

On the fourth day, I force myself to rise. My limbs feel heavy. My heart feels worse. I move like a ghost through the corridors, and I'm sure I look like one.

When I make it down to the kitchens, Elara gasps and pulls me into a tight hug. "You're alive."

"Barely," I mumble.

She pulls back, grinning. "Well, you came back just in time. Alpha Nox is making an announcement tonight."

I freeze. "What kind of announcement?"

She winks. "Isn't it obvious? He's going to tell everyone you're his mate."

My stomach drops.

"Elara-"

"Don't even try to ruin this," she says, fluffing my hair. "You've been chosen by the goddess. He just needed time to wrap his thick Alpha brain around it."

I say nothing.

Because deep down, I know better.

He's announcing his rejection of me.

That evening, the entire pack gathers in the courtyard. The sun dips low, casting golden light over everyone.

It would have been a magical sight if it wasn't a nightmare of an evening for me.

I'm perched in a quiet corner, away from the evening sun and away from the eyes of everyone.

I spot Elara in the crowd, her eyes looking everywhere for me, I guess.

She's not the only one. I see Sarah, I see Lena...I see practically almost every one scanning the crowd for me and wondering why Zara is by Nox's side and not me.

Isn't it obvious already?

"Lunaris," Nox begins, voice strong. "Tonight, I make official what many have long suspected." He pauses briefly, looking around and his eyes meet mine even from the shadows where I am hidden.

"I will take Zara as my mate and Luna." He announces, his eyes still on mine. This draws the attention of the crowd to me, as they follow his gaze.

Gasps ripple through the crowd.

I don't feel anything save for the pain in the tug in my chest as a part of the bond breaks away.

I see the pain in his eyes too until he snaps them away from me.

He goes on, talking about strength and unity and tradition-but I don't hear a word of it. My ears are ringing. My vision blurs.

Zara smiles like she's already Luna and her hands nestle intimately on his chest.

I guess she practically is Luna now, right?

And me?

I slip away from the gathering and make my way back to my room to break silently.

Rejection hurts like a bitch, I guess.

I can't sleep.

Every time I close my eyes, I see him-his face, his eyes, the way his lips twitched like he was fighting himself.

And then the way they flattened when he said it. Coldly. Without hesitation.

"I reject you as my mate."

Those words echo in my head like a curse. They sit in my chest like glass shards, sharp and immovable.

I'm curled up on the small bed in the omega quarters. The thin blanket does nothing to soothe the fever that's taken hold of my body.

I feel hot and cold at once, my skin prickling like fire is crawling beneath it.

My heart hurts-literally aches in a way I didn't think was possible. I press my palm to my chest, hoping it'll somehow hold the pain in, keep it from seeping out and cracking me in two.

He chose Zara. Of course he chose Zara.

Kira stirs inside me. She's been crippled by the betrayal for the past few days, but now, I don't feel her sadness.

What I feel is her anger. Hellish storm of anger inside me.

"You know what's crazy about this, Tamsin? What's crazy is the fact that him saying we're not Luna material is no reason to turn down fate," she seethes. "He just put her over us. He put his lust over fate."

I flinch. "Don't," I whisper out loud. "Don't think about it."

"Why not?" she spits. "Why not think about it? You didn't deserve an inch of what you got!"

She's right. I didn't.

I mean, I had a crush on him for years. Technically, every girl in the pack did. Nox was the untouchable Alpha-cold, strong, terrifyingly beautiful.

He was older, though not by so much and he was dreamy.

And deep down, I believed that if he ever looked at me, really looked at me, he'd see someone worth fighting for.

But he did look at me... really look at me. And he walked away. Even when the moon goddess made it such that he shouldn't walk away from me.

He walked away.

I think back to Zara's face when he made the announcement, how smug her smile was. Like she'd already won. Like I was never even competition.

My fists clench the blanket. The image of her makes my blood boil. I looked up to her all these years, wishing to be perfect like her... wishing to be the one Nox thinks about.

But now, all I feel for her is pure and unfiltered anger that's slowly burning into hate. It's because of the bond, no doubt.

It wasn't her fault Nox rejected me after all, or so I try to tell myself.

The tears come faster now, hot and thick, sliding down the curve of my cheeks and pooling on the too-flat pillow beneath me.

I hate that my body feels like it's breaking just because he said a few words. But they weren't just words.

They were everything. They were the words of rejection that'll never make me the same again.

The room suddenly begins to feel suffocating. The walls are pressing in and the scent of other unmated omegas getting pleasured by unmated enforcers makes me feel faint.

I swing my legs over the bed and stand, swaying slightly from the fever. My legs are jelly, but Kira's anger carries me where strength ditches on me.

My fingers tremble as I pull on my coat and push out the creaky door.

The woods behind the pack house are dark and damp, thick with the scent of pine, wet soil and animal droppings.

The moon peeks through shifting clouds above, half-hidden like she's ashamed of what her bond has become.

I walk deeper into the trees until the omega quarters are a faint dot behind me, swallowed by mist and shadows. The cold bites at my skin, but I barely notice.

When I can't hold it in anymore, I scream.

It rips out of me, raw and violent, echoing through the trees like a banshee's cry. My knees hit the dirt as I sob-ugly, heaving sobs that shake my entire frame.

I claw at the earth, like maybe if I dig deep enough, I'll bury the pain somewhere it can't find me again.

"I hate you," I whisper into the silence. "I hate you, Nox."

I whisper it over and over and over again until my throat is raw and I realise that I stopped whispering a long time ago, and I have been screaming it all along.

A twig snaps behind me, pulling me out of my despair and halting my screams half way in my throat.

I tense, whipping around, heart stammering against my ribs.

"Easy, pup," comes a voice-low, rough, and threaded with amusement. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were trying to summon a demon with all that wailing."

I blink through my tears, squinting in the dim light. A man steps into view, lantern in hand.

Silas. The pack healer.

His silver-streaked hair is tousled, his jacket misbuttoned, and there's a half-eaten sandwich in his other hand.

"You..." I breathe, wiping at my cheeks. "What are you doing out here?"

He takes a slow bite of his sandwich, chews, then shrugs. "Can't sleep. My joints start screaming whenever a storm's coming, and judging by your dramatic forest breakdown, I'd say one's on the way."

I sniff and scowl, but there's no bite in it. "I didn't mean to disturb anyone."

"You didn't," he says lightly, stepping closer. "But crying in the woods alone? Bad habit, Tamsin. The woods aren't always safe at night."

I stare at him, and maybe it's the exhaustion or the fever or the moonlight, but I whisper, "He rejected me."

His teasing expression falters. Something shifts behind his eyes, but before I can analyse it, it disappears.

"I know dear, I know," he says quietly. "Come on, let's get you warmed up before you pass out and make me drag your sorry ass back."

He doesn't give me time to argue. He just loops his arm around my shoulders and walks me toward the small cabin nestled just beyond the clearing.

His pace is steady, patient, like he's done this before-picked up the shattered pieces of people the Alpha left behind.

Inside, the fire is already lit, a kettle steaming on the stove. I collapse onto the worn couch, shivering despite the warmth.

Silas throws a thick blanket over me and disappears into the kitchen, only to return with a chipped mug of tea.

I accept it with trembling fingers. "Thanks."

He sits across from me, resting his elbows on his knees. "So. Nox, huh?"

The sound of his name still feels like a wound. I nod, unable to meet his gaze.

"That's... rough," Silas says, unusually gentle.

"He said I wasn't Luna material," I whisper. "Omegas can't be Luna."

"But his father thought different. His mother is an omega, after all."

"Well, he's not his father, I guess."

Silas leans back, rubbing his jaw. "And he rejected you... just like that? No warning? No sign something was wrong? Because you being an omega has nothing to do with this."

"He looked at me like I meant nothing. Like I was a mistake," I croak.

He watches me for a long moment. Then he sighs and mutters something under his breath.

I catch only one word: bullshit.

"What?" I blink at him.

He shakes his head, mouth tight. "You ever wonder if he didn't have a choice?"

I freeze. "I don't...I don't understand."

Silas' eyes narrow, sharp and unreadable in the firelight. "I've lived long enough to know the difference between a wolf following his heart and one being forced to crush it. And I don't think Nox rejected you because he wanted to."

The air thickens and my pulse spikes.

"What are you saying?" I whisper.

Silas leans forward, his voice a low growl. "I'm saying, pup... someone made him do it."