The Numb Wife

Shin Alexandra Ferrell, is a woman that went through hell multiple times – that is what people who know her name call her. It is fitting to say that it already became her alias. In her twenty-seven years of existence, she had already experienced and seen all the things that any person could experience and witness in their whole existence. But even if that is already the case, it seems like God has still a lot in store for her

Does she believe in God? No one knows if she does believe in God or if she is even affiliated with any religion that exists in society. It is probably her pretty little secret but there is also a high chance that she doesn't either way, no one in her circle would say that God is challenging her to make her stronger than she already is. Shin, as well as the people around her, would immediately blame it all on the path that she took due to her rare circumstance – a path that she will no longer be able to leave unless she loses her life.

*

"After a year, I finally returned to this dreadful place" that is what I said to myself as I got a glimpse of the tall infrastructure, and even if it is tiny from my viewpoint – I could still see the beauty of the place, I could still recognize the tourists' spots yet despite its beauty there are a lot of painful memories as well. Memories take a lot of effort to forget or maybe it is hard to forget because it is already embedded in my whole identity.

In one way or another, I have already come to terms with those memories because I have recognized the fact that there is actually nothing that I could do anymore and due to that I have already just let it be and continue with my life – which is already an ending life.

"We welcome you to the X country, the country of smiles and kind people. We at Northeast Airlines wish you a fun and safe stay here and of course, we hope that you will still choose us for your next trip" the voice of the pilot of the airplane that I am in echoed around the speakers. And since he already said those words, it is more than obvious that we are already about to land and more or less I am already able to see those who are waiting for my return.

Or is there anyone who is waiting for my return? Well, I don't care whether there is or there isn't that is not even what I am after when I returned to this place.

*

"Thank you for choosing our airlines, Ms. Ferrell," one of the stewardesses said and I just nod my head in response. I do think that a nod is already enough because I am not required to answer her directly. Not to mention the fact as well that, choosing their airlines as the ones to bring me to my destination is indeed already a big thing and that they really should be thankful because my name is already recorded in their system and since I choose their airlines among the other available ones that means that they can also use my name as a part of their advertisement.

Well, it is not that I care about that – honestly, they can use my name whenever they want to, they just have to make sure that they use it right. I think that they will use it right in the first place because they will have to suffer the consequences if they don't and they wouldn't like it when I am mad.

After that, I continued on my way towards the exit so that I can return home all ready for me to finally have a rest – more than thirteen hours of flight is no joke. Although it is much more convenient than a ship, still it is pretty much tiring especially if there are sudden interruptions in the flight such as bad weather, but I guess I am still lucky enough that there were no interruptions in my flight when I arrived on time and safely in this country. Although, I could have wished that something bad happened so that I will no longer have to see the light of day again.

Kidding.

I still do not wish to die or rather the right phrase is that it is still not time yet for me to leave the world and go to the afterlife because I still have lots of things to do and I cannot leave until I accomplished those things.

As I walk towards the exit, of course, I had my head held up high – I am pretty confident in myself because there is no reason for me not to be confident in the first place. I am a Ferrell and I am supposed to live up to our family name. As I take the path toward the exit to leave the airport, I noticed that there are a lot of people who are looking at me. Well, I guess that is because they can recognize me even though it has been a year ever since I have shown my face to the public.

"Should I commend them for having quite a sharp memory?"

Well, maybe that is also a given that they will recognize me immediately since I have appeared quite a lot on billboards and in magazines because of my position in the business world although I am a woman.

As I continued on my way, I cannot help but notice familiar figures just a few steps away from me although I have been away from this country for a year, there is no way that I would forget the faces of the individuals that I am close with. Even if I want to forget them, I cannot and I guess one of the factors is because we have been together since our high school days, I think? Well, that's the only thing that I could remember anyway.

"I told you she's going to come back today" that is what I heard and it sounds like they are waiting for me to return every single day. Does that mean that they have been coming here to the airport every single day since I left the country? Well, honestly that is quite a hard thing to believe since I have known them for so long and they can't be that patient in the first place.

They are pretty impatient people and it is such a shock that I can see them right now even if I haven't informed anyone that I am going to come back. They are supposed to be clueless but here they are, I can see them right before my eyes.

And so, I walked towards them and they had this huge smile plastered on their faces while I, on the other hand, has this stoic expression – well, it is not even new to them in the first place that I have such an expression. A stoic expression is my daily expression, even in magazines or on billboards, I always keep a straight face. Well, I guess it is because I really cannot smile but I am not going to lie, there was once a time that I was able to smile genuinely however right now even if the feeling that I felt in the past will return and that I will once again feel the butterflies in my stomach or anything else, I do not think that I am still able to smile genuinely or rather in a general sense anymore because of a lot of things.

"What are you doing here?" I asked and the four looked at each other and then back at me when they looked at me that is the moment as well that they let out a smile which creep me out because this is the first time that I have seen them smile altogether – from what I can remember they are not the ones that will let out a smile that easy. If I am a person that does not smile and always keeps a stoic expression plastered on my face, these four are also quite similar because they are individuals who also rarely smile.

"We're waiting for your return, Shin Alexandra" that is what one of them said who is none other than Sebastian. He is a friend of mine – a long-time friend to be exact and his speaking first also amused me because he is the silent type, he is usually not the one who speaks first, or rather he does not really speak especially during a conversation and him speaking first right now is something new.

"And when did you learn to communicate first, Sebastian? I have been gone only for a year but it seems like a lot of things have changed huh?" That is what I stated and the four once again looked at each other and they synchronously shrug their shoulders as if they don't exactly know what I am talking about. Or rather they know what I am talking about but of course, they are not going to spill all the tea right now since we are still here inside the airport and it is not ethical if we are to talk about those things now.

"Well, I guess you have also a lot of things to say and even I have lots of questions for you four so let's leave and go home because we have a lot of catching up to do" that is what I said and the four once again nod their heads in response.

Surprisingly, the four are very obedient – it seems like they are not the same Sebastian, Kristian, Jake, and Travis that I knew from the past, I guess, it is fitting to say that they have grown into more mature individuals and that is already to be expected since they are already old enough for child's play.

They are no longer children that need to still have fun and enjoy life – they already have a life and the only thing that they need to do is to act maturely and make sure that the life that they have acquired is a life that is well spent and that they are not making decisions that they are still going to regret later on just like the decisions that they have made in the past.

Although I didn't regret a single thing that happened, I am more than certain as well that it is not the same case for these four. I know that at some point there are things that they have regretted doing and that they thought if only they could turn back time, then more or less, they have already done to change what had happened.

Honestly, I already have a hunch on what are those things but at the same time I no longer want to reveal it, I am just letting them be and if they have changed into a new version of themselves, I just hope that it is the better version and not the worse one but either way, I accept them for who they are because that is what a leader should do – to accept his or her members genuinely because that is one of the reasons to avoid any conflict that may happen inside the group especially knowing the fact that we are what others call as the ones who started it all.

But in one way or another, I honestly cannot help but be curious as well about what they are about to share – what exactly happened in that one year that I am away from this place to recuperate and of course to condition myself as I start the plan that I have crafted in that year as well.

*to be continued*

*

Just like what she ordered, the four men that Shin had met on her way out of the airport had brought her home – to the house that she brought three years ago because for some reason that she already chooses to forget because she have already moved on from it since it is already done. She has already accomplished her goal three years ago and there are no more remnants left so there is nothing that wouldn't keep her from moving on.

The car entered the automatic gate and Sebastian immediately parked it in the free parking space of the lot where the house was built. Shin immediately got out of the car and the moment that she was able to set her eyes on her surroundings, she honestly cannot believe what she saw.

Well, if she is, to be honest with herself, she thought yesterday, before she boarded the plane that there is a huge possibility that her things are already gone – her favorite cars have already been sold to potential buyers and that the house she bought would also be gone already but right now her thoughts were proven wrong because her favorite cars are still parked on the place where she left them and the garden is still the same as well – it is obvious that someone is taking care of the garden in behalf of her because if there isn't someone who is taking care of it then it wouldn't maintain its beauty and the flowers will not bloom beautifully as they are right now.

"We made sure that everything is still well taken care of around this place even though you are away. Well, we know that you love your garden and of course your cars, and of course, no one would dare to touch those things and try to sell them" Kristian said and that made Shin turn her head towards her friends and then she saw them smiling at her – they are smiling wide as if they are proud of what they did and it is as if they have accomplished something big.

She cannot help but let out a sigh, not because she is not happy about what she found out just now but rather because she is indeed happy and grateful for the fact that her friends know her well, that they did take an effort in making sure that her favorite cars and the garden that she loves will still be the same just in case she returns in the country even if they do not know when she will actually return or if she still has a plan of returning.

But even if she is happy and grateful, she really cannot bring herself to smile and she knows the reason why but even if that is the case, she still knows how to show her gratitude for the things that her friends have done.

"Thank you for all your efforts, well, I guess I have to repay you soon huh? And don't even try to reject it because whether you like it or not you deserve what I am about to give you" that is what she said and her four friends looked at each other and all three of them shrug their shoulders because even if they decline the offer of their friend – the billionaire, Shin Alexandra Ferrell there is nothing that they could do because the next day that they wake up their so-called rewards will already be waiting for them.

That has always been the case ever since they are still in high school – it is neither a good thing nor a bad thing but the thing is, they really never asked for a reward in the first place, to be able to serve Shin is already enough for them, it already makes them feel contented. That is really what they want.

"Anyways, let's go inside already because I can feel like you have lots to tell me" That is what Shin said, and as if on cue, the attention of the four shifted to her and well, they already know that Shin would immediately notice that they have something to say – or rather they have updates on what has happened around the place while she is gone for about a year.

And there are a lot of things that she needs to know especially regarding that man and some other people.

*

Shin together with her four friends entered her house, and of course, she still has with her the key, there are three duplicates – one is with her friends, the other is with her family and the other one is with someone that she no longer wants to mention.

The moment that they entered the house, Shin already expected that just like what she witnessed outside she is sure that the whole house is also well taken care of and she is not wrong – everything is in order unlike when she left it, the furniture is different from the ones that she had a year ago however even if that is the case it is still according to her taste which is a good thing, the walls are also fixed as if there wasn't a single crack on it in the past – in short, there are honestly a lot of changes in the place but even if that is the case it is pretty obvious that the whole place was fixed still according to her tastes and she appreciates it so much although it may not show in the expression she has on her face right now, she truly do appreciate the gesture of fixing her home and still considering what she exactly wants.

"You did well in fixing things around here – I appreciate it" that is what she said and automatically the four's faces lit up because of what they heard. Well, honestly, they are worried that Shin wouldn't like how they fixed the place and that she will get mad that something does not fit her taste or that they will get yelled at that they should have no longer fixed the place because everything does not even fit her taste.

But the good thing is that everything seems to fit Shin's liking and they are relieved to hear that.

Well, last year the moment that Shin left, her home is quite a mess – there are a lot of broken things, the walls have cracks and even the furniture are destroyed. Honestly, if they didn't take the initiative to fix things then more or less Shin's home will still be the same and they have that feeling that she will not like it if she came home after a while if her home is still in the same state and surely, such an image will make her remember everything cruel that happened in the past and they do not want such a thing to happen.

Although they know for a fact that Shin hasn't forgotten what happened a year ago but even if that is the case, they have made up their mind that they are going to be by her side whatever happens because that is their duty and responsibility as their friends.

"So, are we going to talk now or what?" that is what Shin said as she throws herself on the new sofa that her home has and she cannot help but to commend the quality of her new sofa.

"This is honestly quite a good quality sofa they bought. I can rely on them" that is what Shin said to herself well, she had never doubted in the first place the capabilities of her friends. She knows that they are going to do good in different things even if she didn't order them to do them – in short, they have the initiative to do things and they are doing their best.

"Wait have you eaten already? We can first eat lunch, Travis had prepared something already beforehand" Jake said which instantly made Shin put her right hand under her chin, obviously thinking about what she is going to do next, or rather whether or not she will consider what Jake, her friend has said and after a short, while she decided that she would consider it.

"We can eat lunch as we talk, so Travis you can just bring the food here so that it will be a lot more comfortable to talk and catch up because it seems like you have a lot of things to say to me" that is what Shin said and Travis immediately nod his head and he went to the kitchen to get the food that he prepared – well, he always prepare food in advance because he always anticipates that Shin will come home and that she will once again look for the food he cooks and right now, he is more than happy that his anticipation had become a reality.

After getting the food from the kitchen, he immediately put it on the center table while Jake the other hand is handed the plates and utensils to Shin and their other friends. After they are already done setting up, that is the moment that they have already settled on their seats as well as they started getting their portion of the food.

"And so, tell me about it already, you know that I do not like wasting time" that is what Shin said just as everyone was already able to take their first bite. Well, she is the kind of person that does not want to stall for time that much, she wants everything to be concise and direct to the point because not only that it will save time but also it will prevent further confusion regarding the topic at hand.

However, aside from that, she also cannot help but commend the food that she is eating that is made by Travis. Travis had always been their cook ever since high school, he is the one who handles their meals, and up until now, Shin is happy that nothing has changed the thing is that it seems like Travis had improved once again his cooking skills and not to mention that the dishes that he prepares are heavenly.

If Travis didn't take engineering as his course as per the instruction of his parents, surely he would be a chef by now – a professional chef that has already made a lot of dishes, and more or less he would have already had his restaurant. Now that Shin thinks about it, maybe the best gift that she could give to Travis is a restaurant that he can call his own where he can cook freely according to his availability and because it is a gift from her, there is no way as well that his parents would do something to stop him from doing what he likes the best to do. Well, in one way or another there is no way anymore that his parents will still interfere with what he wants to do with his life because he is already old enough to decide what is best for himself.

Shin is then about to take a bite when suddenly Sebastian spoke which made her stop eating and she looked directly at the four to determine whether or not they are telling the truth.

"The Black Scorpio clan has created quite a ruckus in the year that you are away Shin, not to mention that they also created an incident during a gang fight that almost a quarter of the gangsters who are watching every six months competition"

After that and also after Shin has already confirmed that they are not lying that is time she combed her hair using her fingertips.

"I have only been gone for a year and those bastards are already utilizing the fact that I am not around. Do they think that I will not be able to figure it out sooner or later?" Shin said and her left hand's grip on the fork tightened – it is obvious that he is pretty much pissed off with what she heard and who knows what would happen next.

*

"Please spare me! I am only doing what they have told me to do, I have nothing against you!" that is what a man said – a man that is cornered by Shin. He is a man that is one of the underlings of the Black Scorpio clan, a huge group that is similar to that of a yakuza. A yakuza is a foreign term order to define a group that does criminal actions, participates in fights with other clans, and does things that are considered to be against the law of a country or even against the rule of law.

However, some yakuza do yakuza deeds rather than commit crimes, the Black Scorpio clan is not like those good yakuza clans because they are a clan that does evil deeds for them to gain money and power and even if it costs the lives of innocent people or even their people.

Shin Alexandra and her group which consists of Sebastian, Kristian, Jake, and Travis had always kept the clan in check and that they are the ones who oversee everything and make sure that they will not do something that will harm the lives of innocent people – well, they cannot eradicate the whole Black Scorpio or that make them stop from their activities because they are not even part of their circle thus, they have no jurisdiction over them.

And so, the only thing that they could do is to make sure that they don't go overboard however the thing is that since Shin has been away for a year, it seems like the Black Scorpio clan had taken the chance to do whatever they want around the place because the one that stops them from doing so – the only one that could stop them was away and that there is still no news on when she will return or rather again, no one knows if she still has a plan of returning.

Shin knows – the moment that her friends revealed to her that the Black Scorpio is doing some shitty things in the country again she already had an idea that they are not the only ones who took the chance of her absence

Well, Shin commends their courage to do those things but also, but recognizes the fact that it is natural for the slaves to be on the loose if their master is actually not around and yes, she did just downgrade the people who took the chance to do whatever they want when she is not around and that is simply because they deserve it in the first place.

"I already warned you and your superiors in the past – I warned you that you should follow everything that I say if you still want to live and retain what you still have" that is what Shin said as she spectates the gun that she is holding on her right hand. Well, it is a gun that she had personalized to her taste and her name is also engraved on it.

Well, it has been a while since she was able to hold her gun and if she is, to be honest with herself, she missed the feeling of holding a gun and now that she felt it once again, she wants to pull the trigger until she is satisfied. Oh well, one of the reasons why she had that urge is because she is pissed off with what she found out however of course she needs to control her emotions and not let anger get the best of her because sooner or later there are going to be consequences if she will let her emotions run wild.

Honestly, her holding a gone right now gives her a sense of calmness – it is as if the gun is taking her stress away. Well, she honestly believes that it is the case, it has always been the case because every time that she holds a gun, she gets this feeling that everything is going to be all right and that after she pulled the trigger everything is already solved.

"Please spare me, I have a family waiting for me at home" that is what the man said as he kneeled on the ground, he is begging Shin with all his might, however, Shin just looked at him with no emotion on her face. It is as if she does not understand the concept of family and she does not give a single f-CK if the man has a family waiting for him.

Sebastian, Kristian, Jake, and Travis are all thinking of the same thing and that is that Shin, their friend does not care and that she will not spare him even if he appealed to her emotions and say that he has a family waiting for him at home because in one way or another the man will still end up dead – the Black Scorpio will not let them live in one way or another because that is how that organization operates even in the past.

However, the moment that Shin opened her mouth and she said something, her four male friends cannot help but be shocked and freeze at where they are standing because they didn't expect what she would say.

"Go"

That is what Shin said – literally what she meant by that is that she is giving the man the chance to run away with his tail between his legs to return to his family who are waiting for him at home. In short, Shin Alexandra had given him a chance to live, something that she wouldn't do in the first place which is why her friends are shocked.

"Go, before I change my mind" she repeated since the man just stayed frozen solid kneeling on the ground for a while, and just then after she repeated what she said that is also the moment that the man stood up and immediately run away towards the exit to of course go back to his family and be able to keep himself safe.

When the man already left the warehouse that is also the moment that the four men walked toward Shin to ask her what happened and why she let the man run away which is something that is not like her.

"Don't ask me why, I am just not in the mood in eliminating him – I have already eliminated quite a lot of them already and it is not going to hurt if I let go of one prey" that is what Shin said as she put her gun behind her back. Well, she does not feel like eliminating the man, or it is that simply she sympathized with the man's situation – although the chances are low that such a thing would be the case, still the chances are not zero.

Just then, Shin looked at her friends and she cannot help but frown when she saw their reaction – they have this shocked reaction plastered on their faces meaning that they still cannot believe what they have witnessed personally from her.

Well, it is surprising because it is not in her personality that she would just let someone get away that easily especially if it is someone who annoyed the hell out of her or did something that is against what she believes or the rule that she is implementing.

"Whatever, let's just clean the place so that they will already get the message that they shouldn't be complacent because now that I am back there is no way in hell that they would still have their way around this place. They already had their fun and now it is time to end it" that is what Shin said, obviously trying to catch the attention of her friends and in just a split second, her friends already returned to reality and that is also the moment that they roamed their eyes around the warehouse that is owned by the Black Scorpio clan and that is when they realized that that man that Shin allowed to run away is not a loss in one way or another because she was able to eliminate quite a lot of the Black Scorpio's men which results to them having a lot to clean up because of course, they cannot just let the bodies of the people Shin eliminated rot in the warehouse.

That is very unethical and also unclean and also it has already been their custom to not leave the place unclean – if they have to call their cleaners and wait for them to arrive and finish their task they would because that is what they always practice and it is part of the rule that Shin, their leader implements.

Well, that is just how their organization works in the first place – they are the regulating body, they ensure that peace and order are maintained and they are the ones who eliminate the people who violate the rule of law in the underground society.

They are a mafia organization and their leader is none other than Shin Alexandra Ferrell herself and it is an organization that she has been managing for quite some time now to be exact – ever since they were in high school, the organization that she established is already active however she is the only member and soon after that the four of them were able to pass her test as be the first members of the organization aside from the founder.

And now that they think of it – it has been a while as well since they have been together in such a situation where they have to clean up the mess that Shin has caused and it kind of feels good to be back.