The Joker

The heavy snoring on my side is what wakes me up, for a minute I almost freeze thinking it's a tractor in the house and then I remember – I picked up a girl from the bar and brought her home. I have reached a level where I stopped being disgusted with myself because this is the life I chose, I might as well just enjoy it whilst doing so.

I get out of bed and walk to the bathroom, I don't know what the time is but the throbbing headache needs a pain killer and if I don't get one I might just lose my mind.

After peeing, brushing my teeth and taking a quick bath, I wear something decent and walk out of my room. I know my phone is somewhere in the living room because it's rear that I sleep with it when drunk.

Robin is looking at her laptop when I get down the stairs.

'Shit.' I curse making her look up to me

'Good morning to you too Mr. Chileshe.'

'Good morning Rob.' I say

I have always shortened her name and though she hated her growing up, she had no choice but to get accustomed to it.

'Going somewhere?' she asks not looking at me

'I need Ibuprofen, I have a headache from hell.'

'I put some on the kitchen counter for you.' She says

'Thank you.'

I walk to the kitchen and true to her word she has put the pack of medicine there, next to it is an unopened bottle of water and my phone.

I take two tablets and drink before switching on my phone. I honestly hate her seeing me like this but I had no idea she was back home from school.

Robin is the youngest amongst us, Jaelynn is second whilst I am the first. Our mother died when I was twelve then dad died fourteen years after her, after her death he dedicated his time to the company and it was in rare cases that we felt his presence. I was forced to grow up faster than my age because I had to take up the role of a father and lucky for me my sisters turned out okay. Jaelynn is a doctor and married to an amazing man. They have a child on the way. Robin is in her third year studying law at the university of Zambia whilst I am an accountant by profession. My two sisters have refused to ever work in the company because they feel like that is the place that robbed us of our father whilst I still labor there because despite his faults he loved it and I can't let his legacy die. We all have huge shares and if one of us decided to stop working today, we would still live a million years later depending on the shares. But none of us was raised that way.

'I am going to the office.' I say back in the living room

She stops what she is doing to look at me for the first time.

'And the bimbo in your bed?'

I laugh, it's funny.

'You know that wasn't supposed to be funny right?'

'I know, I am sorry.'

She rolls her eyes.

'Give her some money or something when she wakes up.'

She eyes me, that 'are you stupid' kind of eye.

'Rob I wouldn't know what to do with her when she wakes up and besides I need to be at the office.'

'Ryan we have talked about this times without number, you just can't bring girls home and expect me to clean up your mess.'

'I swear this is the last time.'

She shakes her head

'You said that two weeks ago.'

'I am sorry.'

'We both know you are not and after you pick up your ego you will do it again.'

I sigh, I hate how Robin is never scared of talking to me. She is six years younger than me and yet she is the one who knows how to put me in my place, Lynn on the other hand has always been scared of me. And I don't blame her, I gave her a hard time growing up because I didn't want her to ruin her future.

'You are turning thirty in a few months, it's time to grow.' She sys going back to her laptop

'When are you going back to school?' I ask instead

She laughs

'You are the same monster who doesn't want me to have my own apartment, you are the same one who drives in the middle of the night to pick me up when I sleep out. Even Lynn and her husband think I hate them because you are overly protective.'

I scratch my head, she has a point but I can't allow her to know that I think she is telling the truth.

'I promise to do better.'

'And find a girl to build a stable relationship with, you will get sick one of these days.'

'I use protection.'

'Ryan please leave, I won't be punished by hearing about your sexual adventures.'

I laugh, going to her then kissing her cheek full.

'I love you.'

'Like you have a choice.' she responds before laughing

I grab the nearest scatter pillow and hit her.

'You didn't.' she says standing up from her sit and I have to run so she doesn't do anything crazy.

I get into my car and drive off, honestly I would have rather stayed home and gotten some sleep but I don't want to be there when the girl in my bed wakes up. Well that isn't even my bedroom, I use it each time when I take a girl home. No girl has ever entered my bedroom except my sisters and the house help.

I get to the office and immediately people start moving about trying to find something to do – just anything. That is the kind of man I am, I command power wherever I go and I don't tolerate nonsense in the business world.

I get into my office and almost immediately my assistant comes rushing in, in the last five months I have lost over seven of them because they couldn't keep up with work. And at this point it's a waste knowing their names because even this one might be leaving soon.

'Good morning Mr. Chileshe.' She greets

I don't respond, instead I switch on my computer and wait for her to say whatever she has come to say.

She places a cup of coffee on my desk, this time I lift my face to look at her.

'I just thought you needed it.'

'What else do you think I need?'

'A better attitude, because FMedia is planning on pulling off on the deal.'

'What did you just say?'

'Your emails sir, they have been sending emails for days now.'

'Leave my office, I will sort it out.' I say feeling upset

FMedia is one of the biggest media houses in the country and it has the potential to be the best if only they realize that. I have been working my arse off just to get a contract with them and right now I can't afford to lose it.

I pick up my phone and call my insider, a girl named Tricia. She is the Director Assistant's secretary.

'Ryan.' She says immediately she picks up in her ever flirtatious voice

'Hey baby.'

'You know you don't have to pretend to like me right?' she asks

I scratch my head, I never wanted to have a thing with her. But I was desperate for firsthand information and the only way out was to bed her.

'Why are you guys trying to pull off the deal?' I ask feeling better that I don't have to pretend any more.

'Ryan I never assure you anything, just because we had a good time doesn't mean that I was going to get you everything you needed. Besides I needed some gossip to give my girls during brunch on Sunday.'

I feel creases form on my forehead.

'I see.' I respond instead, making a mental note to have her pay for this.

'I do know someone who can help though, I will send her details.' She says before hanging up

This is the kind of pressure that makes me pick up all sorts of girls, the kind of pressure that pushes me into releasing some steam. But with Rob home it is going to be really hard.

I stare at the computer when the email from Tricia comes through, apparently FMedia is being taken over by the late CEO's daughter Paula Banda. I had no idea the man had any children even up until the time of his death, the company was being run by independent people and now this ms Paula will be taking over.

'Can you schedule a meeting?' I ask Tricia in response

'She is a tough nut this one Ryan, another way. Not this one.'

I laugh when I read that, no woman has ever resisted me. And Paula won't be the first

'How can I meet her outside the office?'

'Ryan.'

'I will pay you.'

She hesitates a bit, I know her. She is always in debt trying to keep up with trends, she wouldn't say no to a little money.

'Fine, she leaves the office at 5PM every day and goes to Roan and Sable for dinner.'

'Everyday?'

'Yes.'

'So why can't she eat from home?'

'She can't cook.'

I click my tongue, she is probably one of those spoilt rich girls who got everything on a silver platter.

I drop the line and send the money to Tricia's account, now I need to make myself busy till 5PM and hopefully run into Paula. I try to look her up on all social sites but there is nothing, so now I hve to depend on the single photo that Tricia has sent me.

Time has never moved as slow as it has today, I have literally caught up with all pending work and even though I am exhausted and the one thing I would love to do is have a girl go down on me, I know the company is more important and so I have to do this.

Ten minutes after 5PM I drive out of the office, I am not in a rush because the office is located at The Quorum and Roan and sable is just two minutes away.

I park the car and look at myself in the rear view mirror before getting off, I am Ryan Chileshe of course and I know this will be really easy. All women fall for me and how special can Paula be? I need the contract with her company and I will get it at whatever cost.

I walk in and they are a few bundles of people in different spots, I see groups of girls turn to look at me. I am used to this kind of attention, but I always pick the smart ones. I still need my reputation clean at the end of the day.

Paula is seated on one of the chairs outside, she has a magazine in hand and she looks really busy. I dip my hands in the pocket and walk up to her, showing my famous smile when I get to where she is. But when she looks up at me it's like I am not even visible.

'Your face must hurt from all that smiling?' she says going back to her magazine

I instantly stop.

'Ryan.' I say offering a hand

'Ms. Banda.' She responds without shaking it

I take a seat opposite her, I know her type. Those that play hard to get at first and then later will be melting in your arms.

A waiter comes and brings what I am guessing is her order, she thanks him and stands up to leave. I stand too.

'Even if you followed me to the ends of the earth Mr. Chileshe, the only way I would award you the contract is if you proved to be worthy. And right now you are not, your work is amazing but FMedia is more of a family name and I am not about to risk it with your type.' She says not once leaving my face

'What do you mean my type?'

'You forgot to pay Tricia enough to keep your dirty laundry.' She says walking away

'Shit![' I cuss my blood rising

I shouldn't be getting angry but I am, who does Paula think she is to speak to me in that manner? I mean I am Ryan Chileshe and I get everything I want, so what in God's name does she think she is doing.

I sigh heavily, my mood suddenly ruined. I could call some people that owe me favors to deal with her but I decide against it, this is something I will deal with on my own.

I drive back home listening to Slap Dee's new album, I have been a fan of his music all my life and there is no song he has produced that has passed me by.

Its only when I get home that I remember Rob is there.

'Look who is back home early.' She says lifting her glass of wine to me

I laugh going to peck her cheek

'Isn't it too early to be drinking?' I ask looking at the time

'Says the drunk.'

I eye her seriously

'I hope you are not trying to scare me.'

I laugh, I swear this child has a way with me.

'What's for dinner?' I ask, realizing I haven't eaten the whole day

'Get ready, Joe is cooking and they are waiting for us.'

'Really? I was hoping to stay in.' I whine

'Not a chance, you know the ritual. Every first Saturday of the month is for family.'

I sigh

'Okay I will.'

Lynn and her husband host us every first Saturday of the month, this tradition has been going on from the time she got married. Honestly I feel like she only does it just to remind all of us that no matter what happens, we are still family.

After taking a quick bath and changing into fresh clothes, Rob drives us to Lilayi Extension where Lynn lives. I love how committed my sister is, she might have money from the company but she and her husband have vowed not to touch it. According to them it will be for the kids.

I look at the freshly done water fountain, it's like every time we come here there is a new development and I couldn't be prouder.

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'If it isn't my so pregnant whale.' I tease when they meet us at the door

'I won't hesitate to punch you if you tease my wife one more time.' Joe says coming to greet me in a manly way

Lynn is just looking at me chewing on a mango and I know she has the worst to say.

'So.' She begins

'Awe awe.' Joe and Rob say at the same time stopping her from talking

'I wasn't going to say anything.' She defends but we all laugh fully aware how rotten her mouth can be sometimes.

'So Rob you have been home and couldn't come to see us right?' Joe accuses

'I just got home yesterday.'

'This one will never leave Ryan's house, she will always be his baby.' Lynn says

'Of course she will, my little egg.' I say putting my hand around Rob's shoulder

'I have a huge feeling you will tear up when I get married, the way you treat me like a child like this.'

'Let us talk about something else.' I say avoiding the topic

I still remember how hard it had been for me to let go of Lynn, Joe proved to be a good man but come one – she was still my little sister in the eyes of big brothers, sisters never grow up.

I go to the kitchen to help out Joe, food is ready and now he is just warming everything.

'So how have you been?' he asks

'Oh good.' I respond reaching for a beer from the fridge

'Don't tell me you are still off alcohol.' I ask when he looks at it

'Yep, she claims it makes her sick.'

I laugh

'Are you sure it's the pregnancy or it's just a way of making you stop drinking?'

'It's the pregnancy.'

'Your faith is admirable.'

'Do I have a choice?'

'Nah, that is what you get for choosing marriage over the streets.'

He laughs

'One day you will be like me and when that day comes, I will remind you of all this.'

'Nah, I don't have the strength to be in a relationship. Let alone tolerate one woman, there are so many beautiful women in the world why would I stick to one?'

'Because you want stability, family, companionship and legal sex.'

'That is where you married folks get it all wrong, who said family should be my offspring only? I have you and the girls. Stability I must confess that I am well off and I don't need companionship when I have business deals that I need to seal.'

'And the last part?'

'Legal sex? How boring is that. You guys just have missionary all the time because once your women pass through those traditional teachings they change and start doing everything they are taught.'

'Who lied to you? Do you want me to start telling you about the kind of sex I and my wife have?'

'You know your wife is my sister and you will gross me out right?'

I laugh, helping him carry the Pyrex dish to the dinning room.

'You know I can't stand alcohol.' Lynn complains

'Are you sure?' I ask taking a huge sip

'Ryan please take that away.'

I eye her

I know myself, she can be quite manipulative when she wants something done and she will use whatever she can to have her way. Joe was a heavy drinker at some point and the day he called me complaining that the alcohol was making her sick, I knew she was finally getting somewhere.

'You finally managed right?' I ask her when he goes to the kitchen

'A girl has got to use everything she has to get what she wants.' She responds with a wink making me laugh

'And you people want me to settle down? No thank you.' I say taking a seat

'Baby please tell Ryan that marriage is a beautiful thing.' She says when her husband comes back

'I have been telling him that but he doesn't want to listen.'

'What he needs is a woman who will put him in his place, someone that will challenge him.' Rob says

'Like that stupid Paula.' I say more to them than to my myself

'And who is Paula?' Lynn asks with interest

'No one.' I say fully aware they won't give up until I tell them.'