The Haunted's kiss of regret and repentance

"One more drink. Come on, you can't be that weak." I said to my friend as I downed another shot of alcohol from my own glass. "I'll drink that if you say pass, but I'd call you weak for the rest of the year." I watched my friend sway out of drunkenness.

"You know your father would shoot you dead on the spot if he sees you drunk, Shyne. He'll never forgive his perfect daughter if he finds her messing around with us." My classmate said as he slyly tried to grope one of my best friends, who was a little too drunk for my liking.

"Keep your hands to yourself, KP. I'll break that faster than you can drink that shot." I said in a playful yet warning tone. He reluctantly removed his hand from my friend's thigh and fixed his own school uniform.

We finished drinking just enough to make us tipsy but not yet drunk enough to pass out. We still had exams in an hour, and we had to make sure we were presentable enough to not get caught. Going to school and taking exams drunk for me was easy. The problem was making sure my stupid friends didn't make it obvious. They had peas for brains whenever they were intoxicated.

I finished the test as fast as I could to go straight to my boyfriend's house. I didn't love the guy, but he was a good trial run to try all the firsts I wanted. I didn't want to show him to anyone because he was definitely NOT my type.

Being with Rian was stupid, but I'd rather be foolish and free than be stuck at home with people who don't understand me. All the money and awards will never be enough for me. I was looking for love, a home, and a place where I could be myself.

I knew wild activities were not what I would consider as my authentic self either. However, I dug my own grave in this pretend life I'm living, and I have no way out.

"What are you thinking?" Rian says as he covers me with the blanket. "You're looking into space again. Don't tell me you're too drunk to even feel anything." He said playfully while hugging me.

"You look like a psychopath with that mustache, so I guess that's distracting me," I said as I playfully hugged him back. "But no worries, hon, I won't call the cops on you for looking like a psychopath. I'd be in trouble too 'cause they'll see me with you." We just laughed and enjoyed ourselves for a few hours until I was decent enough to go home.

A few hours after I arrived at my house, my mom called me into the living room. Usually, I'd only be slightly nervous; however, my mom's eyes showed me otherwise. She is looking at me as if I was a walking disappointment, and the tears on the corner of her eyes added to the face of anger and disappointment that she was wearing plainly.

"Why were you seen by your aunt walking with an unknown guy in the middle of a small village a few kilometers from school?" She asked coldly. "How did you get there without anyone knowing, and who is that person?"

"He's my boyfriend, mom," I replied carefully. "I just visited him, and we're not doing anything wrong. Just leave it alone." I said and ignored her stares as I sat on the couch.

"I hired an investigator. He's an addict, a delinquent, and he didn't even finish his studies because he's wild and they can't afford his studies. Now, I want you to cut every communication with him and leave him. You are a De Leon, and your name as well as your father's name will be put to shame if you don't stop this." My mother ranted for an hour, and all I could do was nod.

My mind raised a hundred scenarios in a minute and planned out what I should do as soon as my mother allowed me to go back to my room. I was thankful for the perfect posture that I was trained to have, no matter the situation. If my family found out about Rian, I was positive that they would later find out about all of the crazy things that I was doing. An entire investigation could happen just to do a background check on my friends. If my father found out, the head of the clan would surely do everything in his power to polish the identity that I have tainted. Freedom was not an option as the eldest child of the boss of the De Leon clan.

"I can hire a killer to just shoot that boy, but I won't. But, it would be a waste of our family's money, and I don't want my uniform as a police officer to be tainted with his blood." My mother continued and said in disgust. "I'm giving you one last chance to get that boy out of your system before I take matters into my own hands." She looked me dead in the eyes. "Do not disappoint us, young lady. Never throw your future away for some bastard who has no future."

Leaving Rian isn't that bad, and honestly, I would gladly do it now that I have no choice. However, the bad thing is if my parents figure out that I haven't had my menstruation for nearly four or three months. I didn't even tell Rian I was having this problem. If I get pregnant at the age of twenty by a twenty-four-year-old out-of-school addict, then I'd be disowned for sure.

I left the room and went straight to my room, crying silently. I called because I had no idea how to get out of this mess for the first time in my life without getting busted. This is bad. The family can't know about this, or else both Rian and I would be dead meat. LITERALLY.

"Are you sure you want to go to Rian? You can just break up with him through text or call. I mean, everyone does that these days." Perry said after I told her of my mother's ultimatum.

"You know I can't do that. The guy is too obsessed with me, and I have something to tell him in private too." She looked at me as if I grew two heads.

"Don't tell me you're pregnant." I raised an eyebrow and shook my head in denial. "You BETTER not be pregnant, Shyne. Your mom and dad will shoot you. Oh my goodness, you said he respects you. I mean-"

"I am not pregnant, okay? I just need to talk to him, because as far as I know, the guy is too obsessed, and I don't need a future stalker." We laughed as I went straight to Rian's house after school.

I moaned louder and louder, and my breathing became more ragged. I bit my sleeves as I tried to hide my screams as the lady pressed harder and harder on my tummy.

The old woman looked like a witch with her frizzy white hair with gray and white streaks. Her eyes were cold and pitch black, and she was wearing a plain red shirt and brown pants just below her knee.

"Just a little more. You should've thought of this before the both of you decided to be stupid in the bedroom," The woman said with a bored expression as if it was the most normal thing to say and do.

As a first-year college student, you'd think that I'd be in class or at a bar or something during a weekday. Unfortunately, I'm in a small village in the middle of nowhere at an old lady's house, getting checked if I was indeed pregnant or not. I've made many dangerous choices in life, but this is by far the stupidest and deadliest of all.

I could feel my tears threatening to fall as she pressed hard on my body to make sure no fetus was formed. I looked up and saw my boyfriend Rian holding in his laugh. He was wearing his black shirt, and he looked a bit older than his age. Other people would have felt comfortable having their boyfriend beside them, but all I wanted to do was punch him where the light wasn't shining.

This dummy better not laugh, or I'll make sure he'll never have any kids in the future, even if he wanted to. My shirt was now a bit oily, and I tried my best not to faint because of the pain.

"You both are stupid." The old lady said bluntly. "Next time you make stupid decisions, make sure you're both prepared for the consequences. Good thing you're not pregnant, or else you'd be in greater pain." She said in a bored manner.

"Well, hon, this is what you get for having fun with me," Rian said playfully. I slapped his hand so hard it left a mark.

"Shut up. It takes two to tango, so I wasn't the only one who made a stupid decision." I said as I slowly stood up, and we bid our goodbyes to the old lady.

We went back to Rian's house, and we talked for a few hours about all the things we shouldn't do. One slip-up could've cost me my whole future and both of our lives. My dad would've shot my boyfriend dead knowing I was only nineteen and in my last year in senior high school, while he was twenty-four and didn't have anything going on in life. He didn't even have a diploma to show he graduated high school. He would be in jail if my parents were concerned.

He kissed me once. Twice. Thrice. I lost myself in the moment again. But this time was different. I felt lost yet exposed. He kissed me again, more demanding and more forceful. I looked at him straight in the eyes, and his face started to change. His face became more rigid and more menacing. I hugged him and closed my eyes as a lone tear from my eyes fell. I've never felt so disgusted in my life, and yet I can't seem to force myself to leave. Every second felt like years of emptiness, and all I could do was force myself not to cry again.

"I want to go home. It's getting dark, and my mom and dad are probably looking for me." I said while fixing myself. "There's no signal here, so they'll probably think I turned off my phone, or I've been kidnapped or something." I continued talking to eliminate the tense atmosphere.

Regret was not alien to me. However, the shame I felt at the moment made me want to carve out my brain just so I wouldn't be able to think anymore. I'm not pregnant. I should have left already and made sure never to make the same mistake again, yet I am doing it again. The reality of a nonexistent future was enough to make me feel the worst kind of regret I have ever felt.

"You can stay a little longer. I can drive you home later." He said and held my wrist a little too hard. "Come on. You've only been here for a few hours." He said while pulling me back to sit beside him. His arms snaked around my waist and held me tightly.

I looked straight into his eyes, and I felt the hairs on the back of my head stand up as his eyes turned black and a little wider than usual. He wasn't smiling. Instead, he was looking back at me with the same intensity as he did in the past when he was about to make me do something I knew I'd regret.

"I'll go home in a few minutes. Let's just walk outside for now. I feel stiff, and it's getting a bit dark here inside the room," I said in hopes that I could leave Rian's room and his territorial eyes fast. Why am I suddenly terrified of him? I asked myself.

I felt myself shiver in fear but played it off as if I was just cold. I finished fixing myself and took my bag. Rian agreed, and we walked hand in hand while I said goodbye to his mother outside. No one bothered us because they all knew we were a couple. I felt both welcomed and alienated by their stares and smiles.

I shouldn't be here. What am I doing with my life? I asked myself as I unconsciously held my sore wrist and back. I looked at Rian as we made small talk about his plans for our future. A house, a family, kids, marriage. It felt good hearing it from him, but it also felt unnerving whenever I remembered his eyes.

"You know what? I can't wait for you to finish school and live with me. Why don't I just get you pregnant after graduation so you'll have no choice?" He asked as he laughed a little. We were walking on the road while looking for a way for me to go home.

"My dad will shoot you if you do that, and you know he'll probably shoot me too in the process." I jokingly said.

"Well, I'll just shoot him first." He said with a smile. I smiled back but felt uneasy. Can he do it? Or was it just a joke?

"Come back tomorrow morning, and make sure your schedule is cleared tomorrow." He said as he held my hand softly.

"I have dance practice tomorrow. How about after lunch?" His grip on my hand tightened, and I felt my heartbeat quicken.

"Do as I say. Do you understand me?" He said as we stopped walking. The road was empty, and the air felt colder. I just nodded as I stared at his eyes. The moonlight gave me enough light to see his face looking demanding as fear once again crept in.

Why does it feel like I'm signing a contract with the devil or something? His eyes make me feel like I'm being chained by him. What's happening to me? Am I going crazy or what?

His eyes suddenly turned black as he held me with an iron grip, and I couldn't move. My voice was stuck in my throat while his face shifted to a terrifying image filled with malice and anger.

"You're trying to leave me, right? I know that face. You can't leave me. I'll do anything and everything I can for you to stay. YOU. ARE. MINE." He whispered into the darkness of the night.

I took a deep breath, and I screamed as loud as I could with my eyes closed tightly. I suddenly woke up looking at the clock inside of my room while I breathed heavily.

"It was just a dream. A terrible dream of the past. Nothing is real." I said to myself. I couldn't stop my hands from trembling as I remembered the past. Every night I would dream of the same nightmare.

Perry was usually here to rub my back and tell me it was alright, but she recently went home to visit her mom in her hometown. I felt like Rian's eyes were still on my body as I slowly looked around my room. It had been a long time since that night I left him, and I could still feel Rian's grip on my arms.

"You know you should learn how to lock your doors, honey." A voice said as my door slowly opened to show Rian dressed in a bloody shirt. I couldn't breathe. I stared at his appearance as I felt myself go numb with fear.

"You didn't think I would lose the mother of my child, did you?" He said as he slowly walked towards me. "You're mine, and you will never escape me, my love."

This time he was now near my bed, and I felt faint as I could smell the blood on his shirt and hands. He then choked me as I snapped out of my dazed self. I tried to scream, but he was on top of me swiftly. Finally, I poked his eye, and he was able to let go of my neck as I tried my best to escape and force the air in my lungs.

I got out of my room and into the empty hallway of our flat. A hand then pulled my ankle, and I fell hard on my behind as Rian smiled in front of my aching body. His eye was bleeding, but his grip on my ankle was firm, so I screamed as loud as I could while Rian was laughing hysterically.

"I'll never stop chasing you. You are mine, and I don't care if I have to kill everyone who gets in my way." He said as lights from the rooms inside the flat began to open and people checked out the scream's source. I tried to scream again, but Rian covered my mouth and pulled me to the nearest bush while he firmly held my hands.

"You're mine, and you'll never get away from me." He said as he pushed me behind the bush and sat on my legs while covering my mouth and holding both hands on his one hand.

"I don't believe that you never got pregnant. I know you got pregnant that day and left so you could give birth here and hide my child away from me." He snarled and tightened his hold on my hands and mouth.

"If you don't give me my child and live with me, then let me do the honors of showing you how much I want to have a family with you, my love." He whispered as he began to kiss my forehead. I screamed while he covered my mouth.

I suddenly woke up screaming. It was all just a nightmare within another nightmare. Rian was nowhere near me, and I wasn't in my room or the flat. However, I was at the library this time, and my classmates looked at me with weird expressions while the others shushed me. I shakingly took all of my things and walked out of the library with hurried footsteps while avoiding everyone in the hallways.

"You should really consider getting slimmer before you accidentally injure someone when you bump into them." A voice said as big hands held both my arms to stop me from mindlessly running away from the library. I looked up and saw dark eyes staring at me, filled with worry.

"What happened? Why are you running away? Did something happen? Was it a bad dream again?" Randy asked as he led me to the nearest bench near the field. "You should really stop thinking about that guy. He's gone now, and he won't find you. You've been having nightmares more often these days, and it really shows." Randy said as he rubbed my back while I tried to calm down my racing heart.

"How did you know I had a bad dream about Rian again? Are you a mind reader or something?" I asked while trying to drink from the water bottle I took out of my bag. Randy has always been that annoying yet good friend to me for three years. It's great to have someone in your twisted life who actually knows what's happening to you despite your silence.

"You're not someone who easily gets shaken up, and lately, you've been on edge. The only thing that could cause you to get really shaken up is when you get random texts or calls from that stupid ex you have back in your hometown." He started taking something small out of his bag and handed me a tissue. "You should really learn how to cry like a normal girl and not look like a mother who just got divorced. Wipe your face, and let's go to the publication office. Your EIC is waiting for you."

I wiped my tears, and we both walked for three minutes to get to the publication office. However, as if hallucinating, I saw a man near the school gate from the corner of my eye. When I looked at him, he was gone.

Was that Rian? I asked myself as I did a low sweep of the area and the possible routes he could have taken to hide. Am I losing my mind? Or was this because of that dream I had? I kept repeating the unclear image of the man outside the gate as I entered the office. I felt all the hair in the back of my head was standing as I tried to ignore my racing heartbeat.

"Shyne. Are you listening? What's going on with you?" My Editor-in-Chief spoke louder than she usually did. I snapped out of my train of thoughts as I looked at her straight in the eyes. "I need you to focus on this one, Shyne. You know we can't get this magazine done without you." she sighed. "Are you alright? Is this because of too much stress and studies? Do you need to go to the clinic or something?"

"No. Don't worry, I'm fine. It's just that I've had bad dreams these past few days, so I couldn't get any sleep." I tried to ignore the twelve sets of eyes staring worriedly at me and began typing on my laptop. "You guys can stop staring, and let's proceed with the meeting."

I tried my best throughout the entire day to ignore the man I saw earlier staring at me outside the school gate. It was impossible for Rian to suddenly know where I was currently studying. I left everything behind when I went to college. I left my past and started a new life here as a better person.

Three weeks later...

"Mom, I'm leaving!" I yelled as I left the house to go to the bus station. As I was closing the gate, I suddenly saw a figure standing near me. It was the exact figure I saw outside the entrance of our school three weeks earlier.

A chill went up to my spine as I turned around and saw nothing but a white cloth hanging near me. The uneasiness still remained as I looked at my mom, who was now looking at me questioningly.

"What's wrong? I thought you said you were in a hurry?" She asked as she slowly approached me. "You look like you just saw a death eater ." My heartbeat increased its speed, and I thought I saw the exact figure on the reflection of the car's window near the gate.

"Mom, you ever get that feeling like you're being watched?" I asked as the figure again disappeared from the window of the car when I looked at it. "I just couldn't shake the feeling of uneasiness. It's like something is not right," I said honestly while trying to stop my voice from shaking.

"Are you sure you're alright? Do you want to skip school and just stay here in the city for now? You can just be absent for a day." She began to open the gate again so that I could come in.

"No. I really need to get to the office. The school publication needs me to function properly." I said my goodbyes once again and went straight to the bus station. I couldn't shake the terrible feeling of being watched. I decided to take a quick nap to get rid of the odd feeling.

"Long time no see, honey." My eyes snapped open, and I turned pale as I was now looking at a familiar face. "You look like you just saw doomsday. Don't tell me you don't remember me." He laughed awkwardly as he tried to sit beside the empty seat by my side.

"By the look on your face, it seems like you're not that thrilled to see me. I guess seeing an ex who still calls you honey would really make anyone pale." He continued talking, but the awkwardness was still there. "You really don't feel like talking to me, huh? Sorry if I called you honey, I thought it would be fun, but I guess I was wrong."

"I'm sorry. I was just overthinking about something, and I'm a bit shaken." I said finally after I composed myself. "It's nice to see you again, Rex. I thought you were still out of the country. It's nice to see you're back."

"Thanks. It's nice to see you again too. What did you think that made you look that pale? I'm sorry if I'm nosy. I guess even if we're separated, I couldn't help but be worried when you looked terrified for a second." He stared straight into my eyes, and I suddenly remembered why we only dated for a year. These eyes held so much love for me back then that I chickened out. I couldn't give him the love he deserved, and now I'm suffering the consequences after leaving him.

"It's nothing, don't mind me. So what's up with you? I haven't heard from you for years. Did you get the dream course you wanted?" Rex and I talked usually. The bus stopped, and as I was about to forget about the figure I kept seeing, I saw it again in the corner of my eye.

When I looked at it where it was standing outside the bus, it disappeared again. "Are you alright, Shyne? Is something wrong?" I looked up at Rex, and Rian's pale face was staring back at me. His eyes were black, his neck was bloody, and his face held a smirk.

"I finally found you, my love." I felt my body losing its strength, and I saw Rian's face change back into Rex's face. People from the bus were now crowding me. "You're mine." A man's voice whispered as I completely blacked out.