The Golden Calix

Attempt number twenty-one.

It looks like I failed again.

I slowly open my eyes, and look at my hands. They are small and delicate. This is a person that hasn't worked a day in her life. A lady, I suppose.

I sigh. You would think I am already used to it since I have repeated this countless times, but waking up in a new body always gives me the same kind of uneasiness. I slowly get out of my bed and look around. It's a pretty decorated room and spacious enough for at least three people to live there. But everything is kind of... old.

I don't know how to explain it, except that it looks like the room hasn't been taken care of in a while. But I don't care much about it right now, I am just looking for a specific item.

I search the room and... Oh, there it is.

I get closer to the big, kind of dusty mirror in the corner of the room, and look at my new body. A, probably, fourteen-year-old girl stares back at me. Her skin is so pale she looks out of this world, her light blue eyes flash a violet color from time to time when the light hits the right angle, and her pink hair falls in a cascade of messy waves. The problem is that she looks really skinny, and fragile. Like a blow of wind, it's all it would take to blow her away.

"You have really bad luck."

I turn my head to find a tiny spirit. His name is Vian. He has accompanied me through most of my lives. He usually looks like a kid. Well, if a kid could float in the sky and be the size of a peach.

"I can't really argue with that. Vian, details of this body, please."

He sighs, which is kind of a hobby for him and starts summarizing the information he gathered about this body and the last owner.

"Her name is Irina Everleigh, the third daughter of Viscount Everleigh. She is sixteen years old, but doesn't look like it because of malnutrition and the poor way she is treated in this mansion. She has only one close sibling who is from the same mother. His name is Adiel Everleigh, and he is six years younger."

When I wake up in a new body, everything is confusing, the soul of the last owner tends to linger in it, but I can't grab any information. When time passes, some of its memories come to me like fleeting images. But what remains the most are the feelings: sadness, nervousness, resentment. All the people I reincarnated into were too young to die this way and now I am intruding in what once was its life. Not because I want to, of course, but there is a curse I can't just get rid of.

A knock on the door interrupts my train of thought. Without waiting for an answer, a maid enters the room carrying a tray with food. She pretty much throws it at me, more like a guard will do to a prisoner than a maid to her master.

"My lady, dinner is served," she says without looking at me.

I see the tray that contains a soup made of leftovers and a dubious glass of water.

You were really treated poorly, Irina.

If I let this go, I will continue to have a hard life in this mansion, and it will be too bothersome. Not to mention, there is no way I am eating that food.

I kick the tray making everything fall apart and creating a mess.

"Am I a joke to you?" I ask, crossing my arms.

The maid's expression changes in a split second. She looks at me like I have lost my mind. Since she doesn't say a word, I continue.

"I asked you a question and I expect an answer. I, Irina Everleigh, daughter of Viscount Everleigh, am a joke to you?"

"No, no! I am very sorry, my lady. I don't know what came to me."

"Pick up this and bring me some decent food."

"Yes! Right away!" she says, picking the tray the best she can and hurriedly going out of the room.

I sigh and go to sit on the bed.

"Don't you think you were a little hard on her?" Vian asks. He has been here the whole time, it's just that normal humans can't see him.

"Maybe, but if I didn't do that, she would keep on treating me the same. She will surely tell this to her friends and in no time the whole mansion will know about this. I am just resting before that happens." I lay on the bed and close my eyes, but, just as I predicted, someone bursts into my room.

This was sooner than I expected it. As they say, news travels fast.

"Irina! Can I know what's gotten into you?! What is this sort of behavior?!"

I raise from the bed to look at the person shouting in front of me.

It's a middle-aged woman, dressed from head to toes in fine clothes and jewels, a clear contrast to my old-fashioned and plain clothes.

"Isabella Everleigh, Irina's stepmother," Vian tells me.

I nod slightly, taking my eyes from her for a moment.

This doesn't sit well with Isabella.

"Impudent child, look at me when I am talking!"

When I was not looking, she got closer to me and raised her hand, ready to strike.

I lift my gaze and look at her coldly. That seems to freeze her on the spot.

"You..." she musters, shaking a bit.

"I am so very sorry, mother. But I am not feeling well, can you please leave so that I can rest?" I say, more like an order than a plea.

She bits her lip, lowers her hand, and hurriedly goes out of the room.

"Your father will hear about this!" It's the last thing she says.

I don't even have time to lay on the bed again because another person rushes into my room.

Without bothering to knock, of course.

This time it's a middle-aged man who enters the room. He has the same light blue eyes as Irina, and I can see a faint resemblance.

It's Irina's father, Arthur Everleigh. I don't need Vian to tell me this, as time passes Irina's body merges with my consciousness and I can see more of her memories. But is not just that, her body involuntarily trembles in fear when she sees him.

I put my hand over my arm to stop the trembling.

You are not the same Irina, you are me, I tell my body who slowly but surely regains its senses.

"I just heard from your mother about your disgraceful behavior. What's gotten into you? You should act like the respectful daughter of the household."

As soon as he says this, a burst of laughter I can't stop from emerging leaves my lips. It comes like a whisper at first, but it turns into a boisterous cackling.

I grab my belly that starts to hurt, while Irina's father looks at me like I am a lunatic. Which is the third time in a row and which makes me laugh even more.

They are not completely wrong. You see, after twenty lives you kind of start losing your mind.

I brush the tears that form in the corner of my eyes, and try to regulate my breathing.

But it's hard. They have never treated Irina like a "daughter of this household", they have never even treated her like a human being. It's so easy to spat nonsense when you are not the one suffering the pain.

Irina's suffering flashes through my mind in sudden haste and it almost makes me choke, but it doesn't, it just makes me laugh even more.

Arthur takes a step back, and I can see a hint of fear in his eyes.

"I'll come back when you come to your senses! Until then, you can't leave this room!" he declares walking out of the room. But he almost collides with the maid who is bringing the food I asked for. "What is this?" he asks her.

"Lady Irina asked for better food so I..." the maid cowers at Arthur's gaze and stops talking.

"She is locked in her room until she learns some manners. Don't give her even a glass of water," he orders. The maid bows and retreats.

The last thing I see is my door closing with strong force.

"Can you stop? You are starting to scare me," Vian asks and I realize I have been laughing all this time. I nod and take a deep breath, finally able to stop. Then I flop into the bed.

"Ah I am hungry!" I declare, kicking the sheets.

"Well, you should have thought about that before laughing like a maniac," Vian states floating above my head.

"I couldn't help myself. The situation was so ridiculous. You are so lucky to be a spirit and just feed on the magic of living beings."

Vian sticks his tongue at me, and I roll my eyes.

A soft knock on my door distracts my attention.

"Can I come in?" asks a small voice on the other side.

"Come in!" I answer standing up from my bed to welcome my new visitor. The only one decent enough to knock at a lady's room.

From the door emerges a small boy carrying a plate of food. He looks exactly like Irina but even more fragile if that is even possible. He looks at me with shy eyes and a trembling smile.

"I hear father was mean to you again so I brought some food," he says leaving the plate on my nightstand. Irina's memories tell me that it is probably his food.

His name is Adiel Everleigh, Irina's younger brother, looking at him makes me dizzy, a sudden wave of regret and guilt crosses my body. I hug myself with one arm and cover my mouth with the other hand.

"Sister! Are you ok?" Adiel says, putting his small hand on my shoulder.

She must have really loved you. I am sorry she is not here anymore.

I breathe once again to steady myself. You are not her; I think over and over again.

Finally, my body calms down, and I give him a small smile.

"I am fine, Adiel. Don't worry," I tell him.

"I am so glad. You have to take care of yourself," he says and he smiles.

"I am so glad. You have to take care of yourself."

It's a soft smile, one that reaches his eyes.

He looks so much like him...

I shake my head, erasing the past from it, trying to focus on the present.

This is my twenty-first life, and I should focus on finding a way to break the curse because this is probably my last chance. The problem is I am not sure if I care anymore.

The light pours through the open window, shining on the small boy on the bed. He looks as fragile as a doll, with pale skin and dark circles under his eyes, but I have never met anyone as strong as him in all my past lives.

"I am so glad. You have to take care of yourself," Zane says looking at me with his big, bright eyes. "Mina, sometimes I worry what will happen when I die and leave you alone."

I hold his tiny hands with mine, trying to convey how much I care for him.

"Stop saying that. You will not die. I won't let you," I declare, blinking to prevent the tears from forming.

He chuckles softly, but that is too much effort for his frail body, and he starts coughing.

I quickly raise from my chair and hold him. When he calms down, he rests on my chest.

"Promise me that you will keep on living when I am gone. Promise me, Mina," he says. His voice starts to fade, his hold starts to soften, and his heat starts to disappear.

Everything is so cold.

"I promise you. I can't really die even if I wanted to."

"Zane!" I shout, waking up in cold sweat. I hug myself and rock my body back and forth.

The loud noise wakes up Vian.

"Are you ok?" he asks, worriedly floating around my head.

"Yes. It's only that I had that dream again. I haven't dreamed of him in such a long time."

I don't need to further explain anything to Vian because he understands, he knows him too. Vian pats my head and it feels warm.

"Thank you," I say as I calm down.

Ok, I need to get myself together. This is a new life, and I have to focus on it.

I stretch and walk to the window. I open the curtains and cough as they scatter dust all over my face.

"It seems that Irina didn't open them much," Vian says, flying to the window.

"You don't say," I retort between coughs.

The air comes through the open window, and caresses my skin. Good. Now that I got some energy, I need to assess my situation. My stomach growls and Vian starts laughing.

Well, I need to recharge first.

"Stop laughing and go get me some information," I say, and Vian disappears in a small puff. "Show off."

It just takes some minutes for Vian to show up again.

"Apparently, Irina's parents will not be in the house for the whole day. If you want to make a move, you have to do it now," he informs me.

"Thanks," I say. He may be a show-off, but he sure is useful.

I grab the door's handle. As predicted, it's closed from the outside. I create a key with wind magic and insert it on the lock until I hear a light click. I get out of the room, opening the door with care, trying not to make a sound. Irina's parents may not be here, but from Irina's memories I know she has a stepbrother and a stepsister who treat her as poorly as her parents do. Not to mention, I am supposed to be locked in my room.

I walk through the halls without much incident. Vian guides me when Irina's memories fail to do so until I arrive at the kitchen. I find some bread and milk unattended, and I take them with me, not believing my good luck.

"What are you doing, little pest?"

And... there goes my good luck.

I turn slowly to find a man in his mid-twenties. He is tall and lean, but that's about it. Besides that, he has really plain features. And that's saying it nicely.

"Brother, what takes you here?" I ask, trying to deliver my most innocent smile.

Atherol Everleigh, the heir of the house and Irina's older brother, looks at me with disdain.

"I am here to have my meal, but I recall father prohibited you from even leaving your room, much less getting something to eat," he says.

Ok, so the nice girl act is obviously not going to work here. I straighten myself and turn my innocent-looking smile into a smirk.

"Yes, I am well aware, but I was hungry. Are you all planning to starve me to death? Do you hate me that much?" I ask, and Atherol's face contorts into a disgusted expression.

"You little..." he starts, but I don't let him continue.

"I don't have time for these games. I am hungry so let's chat another time," I tell him, and take advantage of his confusion to slip past him and walk in the direction of my room.

He has the decency not to go after me, and I keep my food close to me. I am near my room when I hear a loud noise, a smack, and someone crying.

Adiel.

I leave my food on the floor and ran quickly towards the noise. The scene rends me speechless. A woman that looks exactly like Isabella would have looked in her younger days is standing in front of a cowering Adiel who lays on the floor. At his side, there is a tray of food scattered all over.

"How dare you answer back at me. Do you have no respect for your older sister?"

There is no correct answer for that question, and Adiel knows it. He stays quiet, shivering.

"Answer me!" she shouts and lifts her feet.

That witch lifts her feet.

I don't know exactly when, but my body moved on its own accord, and I block her kick with one hand.

"Good morning, sister." I pretty much spat the last word, like it's something dirty.

Indira Everleigh looks at me with the same cold eyes as her mother.

"Irina." Is all she says.

"Can you please tell me what were you trying to do?" I ask, my voice as cold as ice.

She doesn't understand at first, but I look at the feet I am holding, and she reluctantly takes it away.

"I was just disciplining my younger brother."

"Disciplining, you say?" If looks could kill, she will be already dead.

She takes a step back involuntarily and coughs.

"Exactly, he needs to know how to treat his elders with due respect."

"Well, with all due respect, if I see you disciplining him again, I won't let this go as easily," I warn her.

She glares at me, and the tips of her ears turn red, but she stands her ground.

"Do as you please. I can't waste any more of my time with either of you," Indira declares, and she goes away as dignified as she can.

At least she is clever enough to know when she is going to lose.

I feel a hand tugging my sleeve, and I turn around to see Adiel. He is in a deplorable state, and I have the sudden urge to run after Indira and give her a taste of her own medicine.

"Sister, it's ok. I am ok," he says with a trembling smile.

I take a deep breath and hold him by the shoulders.

"Adiel, listen to me," I say, looking at him in the eyes. "You don't have to act strong all the time. I am your big sister, and you can tell me whenever someone is bothering you. Did you hear me?"

Tears start forming in the corner of his eyes, and he hugs me tightly, sobbing.

For a moment, I am startled, and I don't know what to do, but then I hug him back and stroke his head in circular, calming motions.

"Everything is going to be alright," I tell him. Over and over again.

I walk through the dark hallways, holding an old lamp I found in my room. Irina hasn't visited Adiel in a long time, so I am guided by Vian's directions until I arrive at his room. I knock.

"Adiel, can I come in?" I ask.

I hear fast footsteps, and Adiel shows his head through the gap in the door.

"Sister? What brings you here?"

I smile.

"Can I come in?" I say again, not answering his question.

He nods and opens the door.

The room is dark and dimly lighted by one lamp that looks as old as mine. It is smaller than my room and as dusty as mine.

I walk to the bed and leave the lamp on the nightstand alongside the other. I sit on the border and tap my side, telling Adiel to sit there. He complies and looks at me with curiosity.

"I want to show you something," I tell him.

I close my eyes and start singing, I haven't sung this way since my ninth life, and it feels liberating. I just let the words flow and, unconsciously, use wind magic that creates figures of spirits made out of thin air. They dance and float and laugh like tiny little fairies.

I open my eyes and see Adiel looking at them with fascination.

"I missed your singing," Vian says.

Suddenly, Adiel turns his head to look at Vian.

"Who is this?" he asks.

"Can you see me?" Vian asks, surprised. Adiel nods. "Oh! Another human that can see me. How rare!"

Adiel laughs, and Vian starts flying around Adiel, delighted. "I like him. Let's keep him."

I chuckle. I have never seen Vian this excited in many centuries.

Adiel takes my hand and claims my attention.

"I want to show you something too," he says and guides me to the window.

He lets go of my hand and pushes the window until it opens. He then climbs through it and jumps to land on the other side.

I copy his actions, lifting my nightgown, and land on the fresh grass. Adiel motions to follow him, and we walk through the forest. We finally arrive at a small clearing.

"This is my secret place," Adiel says, smiling. "I always come here to practice."

"Practice?" I wonder.

Adiel nods and walks to the center of the clearing. He closes his eyes and lifts his hands.

What I see next takes me by surprise.

The water in the atmosphere condenses, turning into small balls of water that float around his body. The plants around his feet grow and nuzzle his side. The air turns into a breeze that plays with his pink locks.

It's basic magic, but it's wonderful. Not only that but to be able to control three elements at such a young age makes him almost a prodigy. However, the main thought that comes to my mind when I see it is far from good.

We are in big trouble.

In the beginning, only the Kingdom Empyrean existed, but, after the war, it divided itself into three countries. The Kingdom of Aldrich where the monarchy has all the power, and there is no Church. The Country of Velhoja where people are either magicians or merchants and where the Magic Academy of Velhoja resides. The Realm Sanctus of Nadezhda where the Church has absolute power, and magic is seen as a bad thing.

The Viscount Everleigh's mansion is in that last country.

That's the reason why, when Adiel shows me his powers, my first reaction is to be scared. Not for me, but for him. I call him, and he stops his powers to come to my side.

"Adiel, have you shown anyone else this?" I ask him, worried.

"Just once to Indira, but she told me it was a disgrace and to never show it to anyone again, so I didn't." I sigh in relief. I am not sure why Indira didn't tell anyone about it but I am thankful.

"So, you only showed it to me."

"Yes, because you shared your secret with me first," he says, smiling.

I hug him, and this time I do it to comfort myself. To convince me that everything is going to be alright. But there is one thing I am sure of and that is I will die protecting this kid if I need to. I won't fail like last time.

"Thank you," I tell him as Vian dances excitedly around us.

That fateful day began with Arthur Everleigh barging into my room and waking me up with a string of screams. I am barely able to regain my senses, much less understand what he is talking about. I raise my hand to tell him to stop.

"Can you please stay quiet for a minute? I am still half-sleep," I tell him, and he complies, more out of shock under my rudeness than of free will.

"Irina Everleigh, I have been made aware by your siblings of your hideous behavior and how you broke the very specific rules I gave you."

"Oh that," I reply, stretching my arms and yawning.

"That?" I think now I make him mad.

"Yes, that. How was I supposed to stay locked in my room without anything to eat? I already told my brother that, unless you were planning to starve me to death, then it didn't make much sense. Now does it? Or is that what you were planning to do all along?"

Arthur's face turns all shades, from a bright red to a deep purple. He is trying to speak but he is so mad he can barely say a word.

"I know you don't precisely like me, but isn't letting me die a little bit much? After all, my mother was only a mistress, so my life is disposable or..."

I can't continue talking because Arthur strikes me with one hand. I can feel the blood in my mouth, the pain on my cheek. I scoff and turn my head to look at him.

"Is that all you have?" I clean the blood that's pouring from my lip with one hand. "Was the truth too much for you to handle?" I can't stop talking. It's like Irina's lingering feelings merge with my own. The frustration, the pain, every raw feeling surfaces.

"How dare you speak about your own mother like that, how dare you talk about us like that?" It's funny how that is all he got from what I said. Selfish much?

I get up from the bed and walk to him.

"But isn't it all real, though? Isn't that the reason why you are so mad?" I put my hands behind my back and raise my head to lock eyes. "Isn't it?"

He looks at me like I have been possessed by some sort of demon. I may be a different person, a different soul. I may not be Irina, but these are all her real feelings.

The funny thing is he doesn't know, he doesn't understand. He could never understand.

Suddenly I hear a smack coming from another room. The sound comes from the east wing.

Adiel.

I sidestep and walk around Arthur. Then, I run to Adiel's room.

"Where are you going?! We haven't finished talking!" Arthur shouts, but I ignore him. He is not important right now.

I arrive at Adiel's room and open the door to find a sight that leaves me with a taste of déjà vu: Isabella lifting her feet to strike a cowering Adiel on the floor.

"Answer me!" she shouts.

Smash!

My mind swirls and something breaks inside of me. If I ever wanted to live peacefully in this life that opportunity is already gone. Not that I thought I could do it in this hell. In retrospect, this was the worst case of action, but at this time I can't think of a better way. My mind tells me: end her. And everything turns red.

I create a strong airstream that lifts Isabella from the floor, keeping her from laying a single finger on Adiel. She screams, and I walk calmly towards her, heat emanating with each step I take. Adiel lifts his head and looks at me, but I can't focus on him, not right now.

"What were you trying to do?" I ask Isabella, standing in front of her with a cold smile dancing on my lips.

"Let go of me right now, you witch!" she demands, her hair and makeup are a mess. It's quite a sight to behold.

"I made you a question. It's only polite to answer it," I retort. But she ignores me and continues shouting to let her go. So, I grant her wish and disappear the wind magic with a flick of my wrist. She plops disgracefully to the floor.

Isabella holds her head and steadies herself. She looks at me with ice-cold burning eyes.

"I knew you were both monsters! I always knew it! I can't do this anymore! I will tell your father that..."

She can't go on because I lift her off the floor once again.

"I granted your wish, and you didn't even answer my single, tiny question," I say with disdain. "So much rudeness coming from the wife of Viscount Everleigh."

She grinds her teeth, tearing up. Maybe she sprained her ankle when she fell.

I don't know. I don't care.

"Can't I discipline my own son?" she finally answers me.

Isabella is not stupid, so she quickly understands by my expression she said the wrong word.

"I think I warned your daughter what would happen if I ever saw anyone disciplining my brother. I am sure she told you everything, so it baffles me why you would do such a thing."

Isabella doesn't speak, or maybe she can't, I am not sure. The only thing I am sure of is the anger whirling inside of me. "Answer me!"

"Sis, stop!" Adiel shouts, hugging me from behind.

For a moment, everything stops. The anger, the pain, the swirling as I slowly come to my senses. I flick my wrist again to lower Isabella to the ground. This time, she lands softly.

I lower my head. I don't want to look at her. I don't want to look at myself.

"This is the last straw! I don't care anymore! I am sending you both to the Church!" Isabella shouts and limps to the door, finally leaving the room.

Now I've done it.

Tears start flowing from my eyes but not because I feel sorry for shouting at Isabella or even hurting her. I cry because I ruined every possibility Adiel had to be welcomed on that house once again. They were slim, but now they are non-existent.

"I am sorry," I tell Adiel. "I am really sorry."

Adiel lets go and walks until he is standing in front of me. He gets on his toes and pats my head, just like I pated his.

"It's ok. You were just trying to protect me."

Pat. Pat. Pat.

He keeps on patting my head until I calm down.

This is no time for crying. I need to fix this situation as soon as possible. No, there is no way to fix this. Isabella was not joking when she said she would send us to the Church. If they get a hold of us, it's the end. No one knows better than me the danger that institution means.

We only have one choice, and that is leaving this mansion. No, leaving this country. We have to travel to the Country of Velhoja and enter the Magic Academy. That's the only way to keep us safe. That's the only way to protect him.