The Financial Clock

Mmeli

It was a rainy evening as Mmeli stood by the floor to ceiling window of his fiancé's flat and slid his hands in his pockets allowing his mind to run wild.

A whip of lightning crackled the sky and she shuddered behind him as the thunder screamed, roaring across the town all the way to the horizon. Raindrops fell softly following one another as she snuggled closer resting her face on his back.

She has always been scared of thunderstorm whilst him on the other hand wasn't fazed by it, if anything he preferred rainy days like that. Weird but thunderstorm or not when there was rain he was content, in a way it comforted him in a way nobody else could understand.

Rain started getting heavy, he looked at the time and sighed removing her arms off him and pulled the curtain closed. He had to leave in a few minutes and the rain was making things hard for him. He was aware of her phobia against thunderstorm and he felt bad for her but that had to be done.

He held her hand and led her towards the dining table.

He forced a smile looking into her eyes as she smiled back exposing her vampire teeth as her eyes sparkled her love for him radiating visibly in her eyes making things more harder for him.

He rubbed his sweaty palms together and breathed into his hands gaining some courage.

Thabile: Is everything okay? You're acting strange.

Mmeli: I'm sorry.

Thabile: Okay, what for?

Mmeli: I love you, so much but sometimes people just happen to want different things...

Thabile: Babe, what is this about?

He exhaled and reached for her hands across the round table between them. He rubbed them softly catching a glimpse of the diamond ring he put on those fingers a few months back.

Why did he allow things to escalate to that point? At that moment he was a perfect example of the phrase, 'Men are trash.'

Mmeli: I'm sorry my love but I can't do this anymore.

Thabile:(confused) What? What do you mean you can't do this anymore?

Mmeli: This relationship, I can't do it anymore. I thought I could try but I can't.

Thabile: When did you realise that? 5 years of my life has been wasted only for you to miraculously can't do this anymore?....Don't try and shit on me Mmeli Kubheka don't!!

He swallowed and stood up as she rose up too.

Thabile:(calming down) Okay...Okay...Babe, it's the nerves we all get those. You can't call everything off right now, not with the lobola negotiations starting next week. My family is ready and everyone is looking forward to this.. Don't do this. If it's money then I'm willing to settle for a small wedding...

Mmeli: It's not about money....I just can't do it. I'm sorry....It's not you, it's me. I'm nowhere near ready to tie myself down to marriage...I...I'm sorry.

Her lower lip trembled as the thunder roared louder. The lights went off and the lighting slashed across the living room and she jumped towards him.

He swallowed hard and gently pushed her off and then reached for his phone lighting his way out.

Thabile:(crying) You can't leave me Mmeli please.

Mmeli: You'll be fine Thabile.

He reached for his suit jacket on the armrest and left as she fell on her knees in the dark crying painfully.

He walked towards his car and stepped inside. He deeply exhaled settling on his seat. He didn't want to do that but God was his witness, he wasn't ready for marriage. Infact, he shouldn't have proposed in the first place but what was he supposed to do when all she spoke about was her ticking biological clock and how much she wanted to settle down and have kids?

He didn't understand what was the rush, she was the same age as him, 27 years what ticking biological clock was she talking about?

Nonetheless he did what he thought was going to rescue him from the endless marriage talks. Stupid yes, but he was out of options because he loved her and he still wanted to be with her.

It was only then that he realised that he messed up, maybe if he broke things off before engaging her the breakup was going to be easy for them. For a qualified CA he sure made bad decisions!

He rubbed his face and started the ignition driving back to his home where he stayed with his family in the small village called KwesakaMthethwa next to KwaMbonambi.

A part of him felt like hitting the club but another one wanted to get under the blankets and allow the sadness he was feeling blanket him and probably suffocate him to death whilst at it.

THABILE

She finally gathered the strength and slowly got up from the floor. The rain was still raining hard outside, probably crying with her.

His reasons didn't make any sense. They were happy or she thought so, that abrupt breakup literally ripped her heart out and stepped on her windpipe depriving her the ability to breath. Why her?

She was looking forward to their union. Everyone closed to them was, why would Mmeli embarrass her like that?

She tightened the robe around her and wiped her tears then searched for her phone and turned on the torch.

She went to her room and quickly got under the blankets bringing them closer to her chest. The shadows lurking in the corners wasn't making things easier. Or maybe it was her mind playing tricks on her.

She scrolled through her contacts and dialed her male friend, Sambulo.

Thabile: Hello.

Sambulo: Hey, You good?

Thabile:(crying) I'm not good. I need you.

Sambulo: Whoah! Is everything okay? Are you crying?

Thabile: Please. I need you.

She hang up and covered her face crying.

An hour later Sambulo walked into her bedroom.

Sambulo: Thabi...

He kicked off his shoes and got on bed embracing her.

Sambulo: Don't cry, I'm here.

Thabile: He broke things off.

Sambulo: That's heavy.

Thabile: Apparently it's not me it's...

She started crying all over again as he slowly rubbed her back breathing into her neck sending tingling sensation to the rest of her body.

She lifted her eyes to him and held his neck kissing him. He kissed her back and untied her robe cupping her breasts.

She was an emotional wreck and that was wrong, his subconscious scolded him but he ignored it and had sex with his lady friend. The lady friend he assured his wife that nothing was going on between them.

F*ck that! She needed him and he was going to comfort her the best way he knew how.

.

.

He dropped next to her breathing heavily as she caught her breath.

The lights came on and she looked besides her. Now that she was back from her euphoria, it dawned on her what she just did. Hours after her fiancé made love to her for the last time.

Thabile: What have we done?!

Sambulo:( quickly got up) I'm sorry. This shouldn't have happened. I love my wife and...I need to leave.

He put on his clothes and practically ran outside the building.

.

.

MMELI

He joined his family in the main house where he had his breakfast.

His mother, MaNjinji was seated across him with his nephew on her lap, Salusiwe.

His brother walked in followed by his wife and sat down after greeting them.

Sqalo: Bafo, I didn't see you last night.

Mmeli: I arrived late.

Sqalo: I see. The uncles are coming tomorrow, we need to sort out the sleeping arrangements.

Bongi: I will come back early and clean the...

Mmeli: The wedding is off.

He took a long sip on his tea and leaned back ignoring the stares on him. Sqalo scoffed in disbelief and brought his hands together trying to wrap his head around the bomb he just dropped on them.

MaNjinji: What do you mean the wedding is off?

Mmeli: Exactly that mother. Thabile and I broke up.

MaNjinji: Is there another woman?

Mmeli: No. I don't want to get married anymore.

Sqalo: Since when?

He narrowed his eyes at him, what kind of question was that? What answer was he expecting? He scanned his eyes across the table and sighed realising that everyone was waiting for an answer.

Mmeli: I just don't okay?

MaNjinji wiped Salusiwe's mouth and placed him on the floor allowing him to crawl away from them. She didn't want him to witness what was going on.

MaNjinji: What are the Baleni's going to think of us?...Why are you embarrassing the poor child like that?

Mmeli: Mama.

Sqalo: Don't say ma Mmeli! You're being childish right now. The date has been set, we're paying lobola next week for this woman.

Mmeli: Bafo I'm not a child. Don't treat me like one. Why must I be tied to marriage I do not want?

Sqalo pinched his nosebridge feeling his anger build up. His calmness was fueling his anger even more. In a way it made him feel stupid, the matter was serious but here he was, unbothered. Typical of him, he was never gonna grow up.

Sqalo: Are you gambling again?...Is that the reason you called everything off?

Mmeli:(offended) Wow! That's low even for you. Why must you always assume the worst of me?

Sqalo: Because that's the only thing you're good at!....When will you grow up and start acting like an adult?

Mmeli: I don't expect you to understand.

Indeed he wasn't expecting them to understand. His reasons only made sense in his head and he wasn't going to tell them to the world.

Sqalo: I can't believe this!

He sighed and got up.

Mmeli: I need to leave.

Sqalo: I'm still talking to you.

Mmeli: And I'm leaving.

He walked out reaching for his phone.

He called the florist and cancelled the delivery before getting in his car and left.

THABILE

She parked her white Polo vivo in the parking space infront of her workplace. She took a deep breath setting her eyes on the huge Rubcon Industrial logo infront of the building. The thought of bumping into Sambulo in the building made her stomach tighten in shame. She probably destroyed their friendship by bedding him.

She shut her eyes and said a silent prayer then stepped out with her bags then locked the car pacing inside the building.

She greeted the receptionist and looked around the reception desk.

Thabile: What day is it today?

She pulled the chair towards the computer resting her manicured fingers on the keyboard.

Receptionist: Wednesday.

Thabile: I don't have any messages?

Receptionist: Not that I know of Ms Baleni.

She swallowed a lump in her throat her heart skipping a bit then slowly nodded before walking away.

He really wasn't joking. He even cancelled the delivery of her flowers.

That wasn't normal, someone probably bewitched him. That was the only reasonable explanation.

That was her high school sweetheart, he can't just break things off like that.

She settled in her cubicle and buried herself in her work trying to pass time.

Hours later she closed her laptop and gathered enough strength to go to Sambulo's office.

She got in without knocking and he quickly got up shocked to see her. She forced a smile trying to locate the strength she had coming from her office.

Thabile: Sambulo I need...

Her eyes fell on the envelope on his desk, next to it there were pills. Pills she was very much familiar with.

Thabile: What is that?

Sambulo: This is...

Thabile: Don't patronize me. I know what they're for but why do you have them with you?...What are you insinuating exactly?

Sambulo: Nothing. I just don't want to infect my wife.

Thabile: He continues!!

Sambulo: Look, this has got nothing to do with you. I'm merely protecting myself as well as my wife....With you I made a mistake, a mistake I gravely regret and right now I'm doing the best I can to salvage the situation. I don't know where your fiancé has been and I'm not going to be reckless and gamble with my wife's health. If that leaves a bitter taste in your mouth then I'm sorry but I'm taking this PrEP.

She pressed her lips together as her eyes glistered with unshed tears. He was hurting her, yes the previous day wasn't planned but to run to the doctor and get prep is the worst kind of insult. He was behaving like he dipped himself in a disease carrier.

Thabile: You're a jerk!!

Sambulo: I know okay but can we please be professional in these premises? My wife is coming back to work tomorrow and I don't want any hostility.

She reached for the telephone at the far end of the desk and threw it at him. He ducked and it hit the wall as tears betrayed her.

Thabile: I will never forgive you for this!

She walked out with tears flowing in her eyes. She wasn't expecting a love declaration but to assume she's sick! She wasn't going to forgive him for that.

MMELI

He called out his colleague just as he picked up his files.

Mmeli: Why did you get married?

He frowned and sat down.

Colleague: Is everything okay?

Mmeli: Yes. Did you always wanted to get married or it was a spur of the moment thing?

Colleague: I always wanted to get married and with me it was different, we were in a foreign country and very much inlove with each other so getting married seemed right at that time.

Mmeli: Do you regret it?

Colleague: No. That was the best decision I ever made in my life. If I were to go back I would marry her again....Getting cold feet?

Mmeli: No it's not that.

He shrugged and got up leaving him alone.

He sighed getting more frustrated. What if that was his only chance at love?

Was he being childish for wanting more money instead of a wife?

Financially he wasn't ready and marriage was going to set him back. Marrying someone like her was going to be a drag on its own. His financial clock was ticking and he had nothing to show except a car and an empty plot.

He turned to his computer and finished up his work before his trip to Joburg in a few days. Where he was hoping to find peace.

.

MMELI

Later the same evening he laid on his bed on his back facing the ceiling. A knock sounded on the door, he turned and sighed allowing the person outside to enter then sent his eyes back to the ceiling releasing a sharp breath. Sqalo walked in and removed his shoes stepping further into the room and settled nicely on the one seater couch by the window.

Sqalo: Can you talk?

Mmeli: Are you here with another lecture?

Sqalo: No.

He sighed and sat up leaning against the headboard. He wondered how long that was going to last. He was grateful for his brother's presence and role in their lives but sometimes he was too much, that sometimes including that moment. Couldn't he just let him be and stop forcing Thabile down his throat together with their mother?

Atleast his sister, Ndabenhle and his brother, Khathide were understanding. Those never questioned anything in their home anyway but still, he was happy they understood where he was coming from.

Sqalo: The uncles want to know what happened? They dropped their things for you. The least you could do is to give them a serious reason why you aren't doing it anymore.

Mmeli: Bafo I don't want her anymore, infact I don't want to get married at all. It's not about my love for her or anything for that matter. It's me.

Sqalo: Mmeli you're old, in a few years you're turning 30, you should start being responsible and stop all of this.

Mmeli: And I'm well aware of my age but marriage, No. I'm sorry. You know I listen to you but not this time around. You'll have to forgive me. Please pass my sincere apologies to the uncles. It wasn't my intention to waste their time.

He squinted his eyes at him and rubbed his beard before gently tapping the armrest his eyes still set on him as if the answers were suddenly written on his forehead.

Sqalo: You know whoever she is, this family will not accept her. They loved Thabile and that loyalty will not suddenly go away just because you don't want her anymore. A lot of people are involved...Can't you just do the right thing?

He clenched his jaws and tightened his hold on his grey bed covers. What was it with married people thinking being unmarried is wrong? They were once unmarried in their lifetime surely they should understand, but seemingly not his brother.

Mmeli: I can't get married for the wrong reasons. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and I can't just marry for the sake of it especially to someone like her.

Sqalo: Her? Since when is she a problem?

Mmeli: She's not I just want to get married when the time is right. I don't want to find myself in a union like yours and Bongi.

He covered his mouth realising what he just said. He wasn't supposed to say that out loud. It was the truth but the truth that should remain unsaid.

Sqalo: I see. Really I do.

He took a deep breath digesting his words. Yes his marriage was shitty but he wasn't aware that his siblings saw it.

If he was also able to turn back the hands of time. He could go back and be that unmarried breadwinner but it was impossible. Now he was practically a father to his siblings who refused to grow up and a husband to a woman whose taste was way over his budget.

Sqalo: What should I tell them since they're blaming me as usual?

Mmeli: Apologize for me.

Sqalo: Maybe it's time you start taking full responsibility for your actions.

Mmeli: I think we're done here. I have to prepare for my trip to Joburg in a few days.

Sqalo: You'll gamble all the lobola money when you're there like you always do?

Mmeli: I'm not justifying that with an answer. You know I'm going there on work. My gambling addiction is over.

Sqalo: Like that ever stopped you before... When are you coming back?

Mmeli: In a week.

Sqalo: I'll see you when you get back.

He got up and walked out and he got off bed butt naked and went to lock the door behind him before getting back under the bed covers.

.

.

.

It has been a week since he has been in Joburg and the experience there has been nothing short of amazing. It was his last day there and even though he missed his mother's and sister in law's cooking he certainly enjoyed his stay there. Uninterrupted peace and meeting different people discussing what he loved most-money. He was a happy generation!

He read a text from an old time friend three times still contemplating whether to do it or not. Like an addict he once was, he has been clean for almost a year. No gambling nothing and he wasn't going to lie and say he didn't miss it.

He took a deep breath and looked at his banking app.

Maybe he was going to be lucky and win and besides one round wasn't going to hurt anyone.

"I'll be there." Message sent. Minutes later a message popped up with the time and venue.

"I hope I'm doing the right thing," he said to himself and took out clothes to wear before jumping into the shower.

An hour later he was parking outside the club they were said to meet at.

He got out and walked inside meeting his friend by the entrance.

Friend: I wasn't sure if you were going to make it....It has been a while.

Mmeli: It has been a while indeed.

They shoulder bumped and he led him towards the table. Seemed like he was the last person to arrive because immediately after him, the doors were shut and everyone started assuming their positions as he got himself a drink.

There was a lot going on from topless waitresses to naked women working the pole a few feet away from the table. He settled down on a chair as two women went to him. He waved them off and took a sip on his drink.

His mother was going to die if she were to witness what he was doing, his subconscious scolded him but he shrugged it off, he wasn't a mama's boy anymore. Those thoughts about her alone were making him pathetic.

Chips were placed infront of him and an ashtray with a cigar besides him.

He downed his scotch grimacing as the liquid burned his throat. The round started and they examined their cards and their hands.

More chips were piled up in the center as he took a sharp breath his nerves settling, thanks to the scotch that was already refilled by one of the waitresses. He was more calmer now.

The tension rose higher as a few men folded, leaving 4, then three and suddenly they were two people left, including him. The chips were piled even higher with the cards laid down.

Everyone was focused on them, lit cigars abonded on the ashtrays besides them. He had four queens, his opponent had a royal flush!

"Sead wins the hand!" The dealer announced shooting through the deadly stares piercing over the men at the table. He pushed the chips towards him, "Congratulations sir."

Mmeli swallowed visibly disappointed and got up.

Dealer: Another round sir?

Mmeli: No thanks.

He went towards the exit and went through the necessary security checks before he was allowed to leave. Feeling more dumber than ever, His brother's words rang in his ears. He really gambled all the lobola money.

He leaned back on his seat and shook his head chuckling in disbelief.

Mmeli: Mmeli you don't learn my guy, do you?

He drove to another club to get atleast a few drinks before returning to his hotel room.

In a club he enjoyed a few drinks with a woman next to him. He looked over at her and continued drinking.

Mmeli: Trouble in paradise?

She looked at him and rolled her eyes downing her drink.

Lady: What paradise?

His eyes went to the ring on her finger.

Lady: This? It's nothing.

Mmeli: Wanna talk about it?

Lady: One of my cousins is getting married this weekend....Oh! It's not a wedding it's a lobola. But aah same difference....You know the fucked up thing is that we were the only the unmarried daughters during the family gatherings and now I'm the only one left.

Mmeli: That's heavy.

Lady: I'll live. I've finally accepted that I'll be that rich unmarried aunt from Sandton. I tried forcing guys to marry me but it was useless and funny enough all those guys I tried to force myself down their throats are all married but not to me.

Mmeli: You'll live.

Lady: What brings you here?

Mmeli: Gambling gone wrong.

Lady:(chuckled softly) Sorry. You'll live.

Mmeli: Yeah well. You win some, you lose some.

He looked at her face as she kept on drinking. People were taking this whole marriage thing way serious for her to drink like that.

Mmeli: You should slow down on that.

Lady: And do what after that?

Mmeli: Yooh phuza sisi.(Drink sis)

Lady: Akhona.

Mmeli: What?

Akhona: That's my name.

Mmeli: Oh...Mmeli.

Just like that, they started chatting more. After having 'too much' to drink, they both drove to his hotel where they allowed their bodies to do the talking.

Nobody was inconveniencing the other, it was just one night of passion which left him with blurry memories and her white bra.

.

.

.

.

.