The Brother Who Wasn't Mine To Love

Stargazing! That is what they claimed to be doing but April's eyes were stuck on Uriel's face, butterflies dancing in her belly. She gradually shifted closer to him, her face moving closer to his as well.

"April, do you think you will ever get over your Katsaridaphobia?" Uriel asked.

"What's the meaning of that?" April asked absentmindedly, her thoughts still on him.

"Fear of cockroaches," Uriel answered.

"Oh, didn't know that is what it's called," she said, still staring at Uriel.

They were sitting on the roof of Uriel's house. His face was tilted up as he happily watched the stars. He finally seemed to notice April and he slowly turned his face towards hers, two pairs of eyes lost in each other.

"Kiss me," April demanded.

"April," Uriel breathed out in warning.

"I just want your lips on mine, please," April pleaded.

He moved his face closer, closing the distance, and just when their lips were about to touch, Uriel withdrew.

"What if your brother sees us?" he whispered.

"Who, Iver?" April asked, desperately wanting to feel his lips against hers.

"No, your other brother," Uriel replied.

"Orion?" she asked.

"Yes?" she heard the voice but it didn't come from Uriel.

She shifted around curiously, trying to find the source of the voice and just then, she slipped and was falling from the roof in slow motion.

April's eyes snapped open as she was jerked upright from her sleeping position on the bed. The culprit was Orion, who had his palm around her arm, his usual cold gaze on his face.

"O- O- Orion?" April stuttered out.

"Yes, again?" Orion answered, referring to the first time she had called him in her dream.

April inhaled, loving his scent. He and Iver uses the same cologne but he always managed to smell a bit different. His own scent has a mix of a woody smell, perhaps because he helps Mr Caddel with his work most times.

She unconsciously checked out his dressing, the attire was nothing special but he always made them looked extraordinary.

His man-bun was messily packed but that didn't decrease the level of his handsomeness. Assuming he was born with a rich background, he would have been a model, April thought.

Orion cleared his throat and that brought her out of her thoughts, and her mind was back on the situation at hand. She suddenly felt nervous at the fact that he might have realized that she was checking him out.

Orion released her arm and shoved his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket, his eyes not straying from her face. April looked down at her state of dressing and quickly moved the covers from her waist up till it reaches her neck.

She was only in her bralette and panties, that is how she sleeps everyday. Her mother has opposed her about it many time but April never listened, she likes being comfortable and wearing clothes to sleep weren't her thing.

"W-what are you doing here?" she gulped nervously, looking around the room to avoid his eyes.

She was embarrassed, knowing there was a possibility she had spoken out in her sleep, it was a habit of hers. She was internally wishing she wasn't audible, recalling the things she had uttered in her dream.

"Late," Orion gave the one-worded answer and walked out of her room.

April watched him leave, wondering why he was the one to come to her room. That would be the first time Orion would be in her room. If he heard her say anything in her sleep, he didn't show it.

April and her family were used to Orion's one-worded answers. He only really spoke long sentences when he was in the mood for it. He loves being left alone and the person he is most closest with is Iver, April's older brother.

She scrambled up in a rush, making her covers get tangled with her legs, she landed on the ground, her butt making contact with the hard marble floor.

She was in an awkward position with one of her legs still hanging on the bed, while the other was on the floor and she was sitting up.

She clamped her lips shut, quietly humming at the pain she felt in her rear end. Iver walked by at that moment to get to his and Orion's room, which was right beside hers. He paused due to her open door and stood by the threshold of her room, surprised to see her on the floor.

"Don't just stand there, come help me up," she whined.

He walked in and helped her up, bunching up the sheets and throwing them back on the bed. April planted both her palm on her butt, massaging them gently while groaning.

"So uncultured," Iver murmured before leaving her room.

April chose not to make a retort since she woke up late already and might get late to school. She hurried to the bathroom. They have no car and she often walks. As a matter of fact, the only valuable asset they have is their house. A three bedroom flat with a living area and a kitchen within a single floor.

The Caddel couple came from a very poor background and they were uneducated. Mrs Caddel is a baker while Mr Caddel is a wood carver.

Their business not being that successful but at least, enough to get them by. Perhaps, they would have been more successful if they were privileged to get an education.

They had gathered everything they had ten years ago to make sure they achieve the dream of living under the roof of their own house. They had brought In Orion a year later and Iver happily agreed that they share a room. They weren't at all well-to-do but they lived honestly and were kind to everyone.

"April!" Mrs Caddel's voice rang out.

April jumped at the sudden call making her hand jerk while applying her red lip stick, it got smudged on the outside of her lips. She sighed wiping everything off and re-applying it again.

She quickly finished getting ready, took her bag and hurried out of her room to the dining area where the rest of the family were already sat, having their meal. She sat in her spot, which was opposite Iver.

Her father always sit at the head seat, then there were two chairs arranged on either side of the table. On the right side, usually sat Orion and Iver, Orion sitting on the chair closer to her father on the right side.

On the left side, April and her mother usually sat, her mother closest to her father, which means opposite Orion and she would sit next to her, opposite Iver. She was glad that she didn't have to be the one sitting opposite Orion every day, she would have been uncomfortable.

"You would have been late to school had I not send your brother up to your room to wake you. I told you to always remember to set the alarm. Look at Iver, he has been ready since," Mrs Caddel scolded.

"Iver is in university, he doesn't have to rush, he's just being a goody-two-shoes," April rolled her eyes.

"You have to do well so you can go to university too," Mr Caddel said.

"I told you guys I'm not interested," April reminded, taking a gulp of water to wash down the food she felt had gotten stuck in her chest, due to the overloaded spoonful she had shoved in her mouth.

"I told you, that's impossible," Mrs Caddel said firmly.

"Orion didn't go and no one forced him, why are you forcing me?" she complained.

Orion stopped eating and slowly raised his head.

Orion stopped eating and slowly raised his head, his sharp gaze directed towards April. April looked at him and averted her gaze immediately.

Few seconds later, his eyes were still on her. The table was suddenly silent.

"I -I m-mean I will consider it," she said.

Orion faced his food and started eating again. April knew he would have scolded her if she hadn't said what she said.

He gets unnecessarily angry whenever she brought up the issue of her not wanting to further her education after high school.

"By the way, why would you send him to my room, mom?" April asked.

She was speaking with a low voice but that doesn't mean that everyone at the table couldn't hear her.

"Who else would I have sent? Iver was rendering me help in the kitchen, a character you need to develop," Mrs Caddel subtly scolds again and April rolled her eyes yet again.

"I was in my panties and bralette," she said.

"Nobody's fault but yours. I told you multiple times to sleep in nightgowns instead, and I don't think there's anything wrong with shorts but of course, the great April Caddel would rather wear panties to sleep!" Mrs Caddel said.

April huffed, it was as if her mother already had her in mind a long time ago and was now getting back at her.

"What if I was completely naked?" she made an assumption and her multiple coughs arose from her father's throat.

Orion passed him the water and gulped the whole glass down, thanking him afterwards.

"Why the hell would you be completely naked?" Mr Caddel asked with dissatisfaction.

"Dad, it's just an assumption." April shrugged.

"Well, he gave you a bath multiple times when you were younger," Iver said with a chuckle.

"I told you not to ever bring that up again," April pointed her spoon at him like a weapon.

Iver raised his palm up in surrender at first but then he suddenly leaned forward and licked the spoon. April made a disgusted face and let the cutlery drop to the table, taking a new one. Iver and Mrs Caddel laughed in amusement.

"Why would you allow your female child to be bathed by an old guy anyway? That's wrong on so many levels," she said.

She deliberately used the phrase 'old guy' just to annoy Orion but typical Orion does not even react.

"You used to love it actually," Iver revealed.

April's eyes widened and she looked towards her mother for confirmation.

"It's true," Mrs Caddel confirmed.

"Sometimes, you would even refused to be bathed by someone else," Mrs Caddel added.

"That's not true,"

"Yes, it is," Iver confirmed this time.

"Shut up!" April snapped at Iver.

Orion once again raised his head, looking at her with a disapproving expression on his face. April glanced at him and looked at Iver.

"Sorry," she apologized insincerely.

"Apology accepted," Iver replied with a smirk.

"Anyway, you all are prohibited from coming into my room as from today." April announced.

"Instead of that, why don't you just learn how to act like a lady and actually get used to sleeping with appropriate night-wears until you are out of this house?" Iver rolled his eyes.

"What does that mean?" April asked.

"I mean you can't order anyone around here. When you get to your husband's house, you can do that. You can even start sleeping naked if you want," Iver chuckled.

"I know the appropriate answer to give to you but I don't want to be rude," April said, glancing at Orion.

"You are always rude," Iver spoke and April ignored him.

"I'm still on my verdict. From now on, I don't want any male in my room. Anyone who intrudes, I will cut off their legs," she threatened, trying to put on a fierce face so she could look scary.

"You look like a puppy," Mr Caddel snickered and April sighed in defeat.

Iver suddenly splayed his palm over his face looking at April through the gap made by his fingers while squinting his eyes.

"What is your problem this time?" April asked, hunching in her seat.

"Your lipstick. Too bold. It's blinding my eyes," Iver said before dropping his hand.

"Over-dramatic!" April rolled her eyes.

"I think the red is too bold too. Makes you look like a grown-up," Mr Caddel commented.

"I'm fifteen!" April reminded, trying to let them realize that she isn't a kid anymore.

"Exactly," Orion input.

April glared at him while he took in the last spoon of his food. He sipped his water and sat back.

"Thanks for the food, mom," Orion appreciated like always and Mrs Caddel replied with a smile.

Usually that is the most longest sentence that comes out of his mouth during their meal-time. He took a wipe and walked away. April who had her back to him thought he was gone, not knowing he has a hidden agenda and had quietly walked back to stand behind her.

Iver and Mr Caddel, who could see him clearly, pretended like they didn't see anything, anticipating the next scene.

"I wonder what he's still doing in this house," April scoffed.

"You want to chase your brother out?" Mrs Caddel asked.

"He's already twenty four years old, mom. He's not supposed to be under this roof anymore," April replied.

There are times when the year difference between April and Orion is ten and there are times when it is ten, depending on the months they are in. The age difference between Iver and April though is five years.

April is fifteen, Iver is twenty one and Orion is twenty four years old.

"Hmm. That's true, he should go get married," Iver said, teasing Orion who gave him a deadly look over April's head.

"Not get married!" April yelled at Iver and everyone looked at her in shock, "I- I mean he should look for a job," she clarified.

"He's old enough to get married anyway," Iver said, smirking at Orion once again.

"He's not!" April exclaimed.

"You are acting weird right now. You are the one who calls him an old guy every-time," Iver reasoned.

"That doesn't mean he is old enough to get married," April glared at Iver, "Nobody would want to marry him anyway," she added.

"Why is that?" Mr Caddel asked.

"He's so arrogant, and heartless. Dad, are you sure he even has a heart?" she asked seriously.

"I do," Orion replied from behind her and she jumped in shock.

Before she could look back, he placed one hand behind her head, holding it firmly in place.

Then with his other hand holding the wipe, he placed it against her lips firmly, wiping off her lipstick completely while she struggled. He accomplished his mission and released her, dropping the dirty wipe on the table in front of her, then he walked away.

Everyone burst into laughter. April screamed in anger, picked the empty glass cup in front of her and leapt up, going after Orion.

Orion, who knew what she would do even before she acted it out was prepared and hurried to the room he and Ivan shared.

He opened the door, slipped inside and held the door open watching April matching towards him in anger. When she was almost at the door, he slammed it shut in her face. He heard another annoyed scream from her outside the door.

"April, you are already late for school, come collect some cash for a cab," Orion could hear Mr Caddel's voice.

"I'm not going again," April yelled back stubbornly.

"Spoilt brat," Orion chuckled to himself.

The next day, April was walking home from school and when she got to the last corner she would pass before seeing her house, she stopped.

She took out her handkerchief from her bag and wiped her lips clean.

She had once again applied her red lipstick but was able to avoid Orion till she left the house or else he would throw a fit again.

She smiled remembering how her friend and crush, Uriel had told her that she looked beautiful.

Once she made sure her lips were clean, she proceeded on the path to her house. She frowned when she doesn't see her dad and Orion at the front of the house as usual. They usually work on his carvings together.

Even if Orion wasn't there, her dad would always be, either working or just relaxing. Her father hates staying idle inside the house.

She opened the door and went in. She met her Mom, Dad and Orion sitting in the living room. Her dad looked disturbed and her mom has obviously been crying. She rushed to her mom, latching unto her arm.

"Mom, are you okay?" she asked.

"Your brother is leaving, April," Mrs Caddel spoke sadly, going straight to the point.

"Leaving?" April was confused.

"Leaving the house?!" she asked, the volume of her tone increasing.

"I was only joking yesterday, did you take it serious?" she asked in alarm and Orion exhaled.

"Mom, tell him I was only kidding. I didn't mean it," April said, desperately shaking her mother's hand.

"It's not because of you April," Mr Caddel said.

"Then why?" April asked, feeling very guilty still thinking Orion was leaving because of what she had said.

Before Mr Caddel could reply, Iver arrived. He entered the house and paused mid-step when he saw everyone gathered in the living room. The expressions on their faces scared him.

He walked to them, dropping his bag on the couch.

"What's going on?"

"Orion is leaving the house," April answered Iver.

It took Iver a few seconds to understand what April was saying, he took another few seconds to gather his thoughts.

"Is it because of what April and I said yesterday? I was only teasing you, you know that," Iver explained.

"I know." Orio spoke.

"Oh," Iver calmed down and sat beside Orion.

"I mean, I get that sharing a tiny room can feel suffocating for you. So I understand if you want to leave, I just want to be sure that you are not leaving because of what April and I said," Iver said.

"His father just found out he had a son and so he would like to be in his life," Mrs Caddel explained to Iver and April.

"That's good news, is it not?" Iver said after a while.

"Yeah. Mom, I told you. Sons are not worth raising. See, he found his biological father and now he's going to live with him," April said.

Orion and Iver couldn't help but chuckle.

"Well, all is good. We will just come disturb you whenever we miss you, not a big deal," Iver said.

Iver and April weren't really happy that their older brother was leaving.

But he is old enough and they don't want to him to feel guilty so they are really trying to be understanding and act mature about it. They weren't fooling anyone though.

"Does his father live in this city?" April asked and Mrs Caddel shook her head.

"That's alright, we will make it work. So, which city?" Iver asked.

"He lives countries away from here." Mr Caddel finally dropped the bomb.

"W- w-what?" Iver stuttered out. "Just stay here then," Iver proposed.

"Mom! Persuade him to stay," April whisper-yelled to her mother.

"He already made up his mind, he's leaving tomorrow morning." Mrs Caddel said.

April's hand dropped from her mother's arm and she blinked continuously, shocked by the news. Iver was quiet too, staring into nothingness. A few minutes passed in silence.

"We've spent eleven years together, does that not mean anything to you?" Iver asked, all intent to be understanding has left him.

"Iver," Mr Caddel cautioned.

"No Dad. I'm just trying to figure what he was promised that is worth throwing away a whole eleven years?" Iver was livid.

Mrs Caddel released a sob.

"Wait. He's rich, isn't he?" Iver suddenly asked.

"Iver!" Mr Caddel cautioned again.

"No wonder. I thought as much," Iver scoffed and stormed into his room.

Orion went after him and April just watched as the door to their room shut. Just as she had expected, Iver was really affected by the revelation. He wasn't exactly angry, he was just hurting.

"I hope Iver gets over this," Mrs Caddel burst into another round of tears, running to her room.

Mr Caddel went after her and April was left alone in the living room.

Iver looked up to Orion since he became a part of their family. He was proud to have him as his older brother and even during Orion's teenage years, when he was a really troublesome kid and got mixed with the wrong crowd, Iver still looked up to him.

Then, Orion would get angry at the littlest of things and would come home with bruises on his face due to the street fights he often engaged in. He never let it affect them though.

He never vented his anger on them no matter what they did. Even if he gets angry, he would rarely act on it.

The only time they had ever seen him act on his anger was seven years ago when the debt collectors they were owing had came to their house and they couldn't pay up.

Eighteen year old Orion had stayed in the background like always but when they got physically violent with Mr Caddel, all hell broke loose.

That was when April started getting weary of him, she had been really scared because even though she knew he had some violent tendencies, she never knew he was that dangerous. She was just eight years old then.

He really hurt the men and caused some real damages. Their Dad and Mom had scolded him greatly, expressing their dissatisfaction but Iver, he felt proud of his brother.

He was happy that Orion defended their Dad and taught the men a lesson even though they ended up paying for the men's hospital bills.

It won't be an exaggeration to say Iver worshiped Orion. So it is understand for him to be so hurt that Orion is suddenly leaving them after so many years.

But what April doesn't think they understand is that she was hurting too. Everyone probably thought she really can't stand Orion like she often expressed but it was all false.

He was like a rock to her, Orion has done so many things for her that even the other family members don't know about. She respected him greatly and loved him just as much.

They would think she isn't hurting as much as Iver but April has always being someone who likes to be seen as strong, independent and self-reliant.

And so while everyone had someone to console them in their respective rooms, April was left alone with no one to comfort her.

Knowing there was no one in sight to witness her moment of vulnerability, she let go. The tears streaming down her face like a dam whose walls had suddenly crumbled down.

"He's leaving," she whispered to herself.