The Alpha's Desperate Regret

~ELARA's POV~

I always thought the Moon Goddess was kind, but as my fated mate looked at me with pure disgust, I realized she was a sadist.

In the Eclipse pack, most wolves carry this scent of cedar, spice or something wild. Me? Nothing. I'm just a blank space. And everyone here is happy to fill that emptiness with their hate. They call me 'Scentless Mutt.' It's the only name I've ever known, and they never miss a chance to shove it down my throat.

​I was lugging a heavy tray of greasy bones from last night's feast, arms already burning, still waiting for my wolf to decide I was worth showing up for. Twenty-two years, and she was apparently still on vacation.

​CLANG-A-LANG!

Jax didn't just kick the tray. He stepped onto the edge of it, tilting it slowly until the bones slid into the dirt. He watched them fall with a look of mock pity.

"You're still trying, Elara," he sighed, leaning in close enough that I could smell the stale ale on his breath. "That's the saddest part. You carry these trays around like if you work hard enough, a soul will finally grow inside that empty skin."

He reached out, almost gently, and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear before his grip tightened, yanking my head back.

"But we both know the truth. You aren't a wolf waiting to happen. You're just a ghost that refuses to leave. Why don't you do us a favor and stop pretending you belong to the living?"

He let go of my hair with a sharp shove, watching me stumble into the mess.

I stayed frozen for a second. That hot prickly burn started behind my eyes, the one that meant tears were coming but I swallowed it down fast.

A shadow, colder than the one Jax had left behind, fell over me. I looked up to see Elder Mara, the Alpha's mother standing a few feet away. She didn't just look at me like I was trash, she looked at me like I was a mistake she thought she'd fixed.

Her hand flew to that silver locket on her neck clutching it like a weapon, her eyes fixed on me with a hatred that felt personal, even though I was just a servant.

It chilled me more than Jax ever had.

She didn't say a word, instead she just turned and walked toward the castle, but her silence felt like a death sentence.

I gathered the bones with trembling, bloody hands.

Tonight was the full moon. The whole pack would gather at the communal grounds for the ceremony. Shifts. Mate bonds. Everyone celebrating their wolves and their futures.

Everyone except the ones like me who still hadn't shifted. I'm twenty-two. Most wolves got their shift by sixteen or seventeen at the latest.

But here I was. Late. Broken. Call it whatever word you want. Maybe empty.

But as the first drumbeat sounded from the communal grounds, a small, stupid hope sparked in my chest.

Tonight the moon might finally wake up whatever was supposed to be in me, if there was anything at all.

​I hauled the tray to the kitchen and scrubbed the blood from my palms. I didn't even have time to change my ruined dress before the second drumbeat shook the air.

I walked down the hill with the other low-ranks. Torches flashed light everywhere and the pack formed a wide circle around the big central fire.

High ranks in front, omegas like me pushed to the back as usual.

Then Alpha Kairos stepped into the circle and everything went quiet.

Tall, black hair catching the firelight, eyes sweeping the crowd like he already owned every heartbeat in it.

Which I must say, he did.

He looked as perfect and untouchable as always, but as the wind shifted, a weird smell hit me. Something bitter under his usual Alpha scent. It was sour and for some reason, it made my stomach turn.

His voice cut through calm but heavy.

"Tonight the moon calls. Those who are ready will answer."

My heart started hammering so hard. Then, a pull, deep in my chest.

My spine cracked loud, sickening pops that echoed in my own skull. I felt it lengthen and reshape itself. Then the fur came, thick, black and swallowing every scrap of torchlight around me. My fingers curled and fused and my eyesight became clear as day and I could count the terrified faces staring back at me.

And then I was standing.

Huge and taller than any wolf I'd ever seen

And then, the silence broke in a different way.

For twenty-two years, I had smelled like nothing but now, a scent I never thought I had exploded from my skin so powerful it made the wolves in the front row gag and stumble back.

It was the smell of rare flowers that only bloom in the dark. Midnight Orchid and Ozone. The scent of a Queen.

​For one beautiful second, I wasn't the scentless mutt anymore. I was a storm. I looked at Jax, the man who had spent years making me feel like nothing and I didn't feel afraid. I saw the way his heart hammered against his ribs. I saw him trip over his own feet just to get away from me

A low, dangerous growl rolled up from my chest.

"WE ARE HERE". Her voice was velvet wrapped around iron. My wolf. But along with her voice came a terrifying, numbing cold.

"Shadow Wolf," someone whispered. The word spread like fire. "Curse... Monster..."

​I lifted my head and locked eyes with Alpha Kairos. The bond slammed into me so hard I almost staggered. His scent drowned me, pine smoke and raw power. My wolf lunged forward in my mind, howling one shattering word.

"MATE".

For one stupid, perfect heartbeat I believed it. Maybe he would cross the circle, cup my face and whisper the words I'd dreamed of hearing since I was a child.

Please, I begged silently. Please let this be real.

Kairos stepped forward. For a heartbeat, the bond flared between us, a sudden, beautiful warmth but his eyes stayed cold as ice.

"A monster like you could never be my Luna.

He didn't just reject me. He looked at me like I was a disease he had to burn out before it spread.

"I know what your kind is, Elara," he said, his voice dropping to a deadly skin-crawl. "My father wasn't killed in battle. He was hunted like an animal by a Shadow Wolf. Your kind doesn't want a pack; you want prey. I won't let you turn my people into your next meal."

The pack erupted. "Kill her! Exile the curse!"

A stone struck my shoulder, sharp enough to bruise but I barely registered it.

Then Elder Mara stepped forward with a satisfied, victorious smile on her lips

"I knew it," she hissed, her voice trembling with a strange, dark hunger. "I knew that cursed blood would eventually show its face" she said, loud enough for the stars to hear. "The moon has finally shown us the truth. You were born to be extinguished, Elara. And tonight, I'll ensure the prophecy ends with you."

Elder Mara declared. She looked at me not with fear, but with the cold eyes of a predator who had finally trapped its prey.

​I looked at Kairos, pleading silently. Please, say something.

"You are banished from the Eclipse Pack," Kairos said. "Leave and do not return."

The words landed like a death sentence. I hit the ground on all fours, paws trembling, a raw sob ripping out.

"Please," I whispered through the bond, even though he couldn't hear. "Don't do this."

But the link only echoed his cold emptiness back at me as tears soaked my fur. I was nothing again, worse than nothing.

I had spent years imagining my mate would be the one to finally tell the world they were wrong about me. But as he stood there with eyes like a cold flint, I realized the truth.

I hadn't found a savior. I'd found the man who was going to finish what the pack started.

I wanted to beg, to scream "Why?" but my throat closed. All I could do was run.

My paws slammed the earth. The crowd parted apart like I was plague itself. Insults chased me "freak," "killer," "cursed bitch"-but they sounded far away, muffled under the roar of blood in my ears.

I crashed through the tree line until the dark forest swallowed me up. Branches lashed my face, my flanks. My lungs burned. Tears streamed sideways across fur I still didn't recognize as mine.

Why him? Why the one person meant to protect me?

​I didn't get an answer. Instead, a new sound cut through the wind.

A chorus of howls erupted from the village behind me, fast, angry, and bloodthirsty. They weren't just letting me go. Jax and the warriors had shifted. They were coming for me, and they weren't planning on escorting me to the border.

They were hunting a monster.

"Catch the monster!"

"Don't let it escape!"

"Kill the curse before it spreads!"

And in this forest, the moon I had prayed to my whole life was now a spotlight for my execution.

I had no pack. I had no mate. And in this dark, I had nowhere left to hide.

I never knew my legs could carry me this fast.

Being this Shadow Wolf thing? It felt like I was flying. No, like a bullet shooting through the trees. I wasn't running, I was slicing everything in my way. But gosh, it was too much. Too strong. My lungs burned like someone poured fire inside them.

And my wolf? She howled in my head, thick with rage.

MINE. THEY TRIED TO BREAK US. NOW WE BREAK THEM.

I could see it so clearly, claws ripping into every face that ever sneered at me. Part of me wanted it. But the thought twisted my stomach. What happens after?

"There she is! Don't let the bitch reach the river!" Jax's voice came from the right, loud and mean.

He was getting closer. Even with all this new power, I was tired. Years of barely eating as a servant had left me weak. I pushed anyway. My paws slipped on wet moss and I almost fell, my body failing again. Always failing.

Then I felt it, the first glitch.

As I leaped over a fallen log, my body didn't stay solid. For a split second, I turned into a cloud of black smoke and went right through the wood like nothing. But when I landed on the other side? Everything spun. My wolf vanished. My bones snapped back into place with a sickening crunch, dumping me onto the dirt, human and naked. My power had run out.

Dammit! Not now! Everything always falls apart. Always at the worst moment.

I grabbed the bundle Lila threw at me in all the chaos. My hands wouldn't stop shaking. I pulled out the wool jacket and the plain dress. The second the fabric touched me, blood started soaking through from the gash on my hip where the hunter's arrow had sliced me.

I heard paws. Heavy ones from Jax.

He burst through the bushes and shifted back to human right in front of me with that ugly twisted grin spread across his face.

I curled into myself, arms over my chest, hating how small I felt again. The shadows tried to hide me, but I was still just the broken omega.

"Jax burst through the trees, shifting back to human with a jagged grin. "From monster to shivering rat," he mocked, reaching for my throat. "Time to erase this mistake."

But the shadows? They didn't ask me. They just shot up from the ground, wrapped around his ankles like snakes. He tripped hard and his face landed in the dirt.

"What the hell?" he yelled, kicking at the black mist.

I didn't stick around to watch him get up. I turned and ran. No wolf speed anymore, but I still had the stubborn part of me that had survived years of hell.

Jax roared furiously behind me but the trees were closing in tighter, hiding me step by step.

The air changed and got colder. It smelled like wet earth, old rot, and something ancient and secret. I knew exactly what it meant. I had crossed the border. I was in Rogue Lands now.

Jax and his guys stopped at the tree line. Their torches looked like angry eyes far away. They didn't follow.

No Eclipse wolf was stupid enough to enter the Rogue Lands without an Alpha's command.

"Yeah, keep running, mutt!" Jax yelled, his voice echoing. "The Rogues will do our job for us! They'll pick your bones clean by morning! You're dead either way."

Their laughter chased me, cruel and loud, but it faded as they turned back toward the pack house. Toward safety. Warm beds. Full stomachs. While I run until I can't.

I kept going because I had to. My legs turned to jelly, but I forced them forward. Every shadow looked like it was about to grab me. Every twig snap made me flinch hard.

I pushed into the Rogue Lands, the air turning cold and smelling of old rot. Jax's laughter faded behind me, but the silence of the forest was worse.

I ran until my legs were jelly but they just kept moving on their own because the second I stopped, I was done for. And I wasn't ready to be done. Not after the way Kairos looked at me.

That cold, empty look was still burning behind my eyes..

The moon was way down low by then and dawn was probably somewhere behind the trees, but this forest didn't care. It stayed dark, mean, thorns snagging me every few steps.

I stumbled into a tiny clearing and basically collapsed against an old fallen log. My side was screaming. Blood had soaked Lila's jacket completely, making it heavy and freezing against my skin, my numb fingers pressing the wound.

I let my eyes close. Just for a second.

Which was a huge mistake, because the second I let my guard down, the bond exploded in my chest again.

It was Kairos.

He wasn't just angry anymore. He was hunting. I could feel his massive deadly wolf crashing through the trees straight toward me.

He was coming to finish it. He was coming to kill the monster he'd rejected, before the Shadow Madness could spread.

I have to hide. I have to hide right now. Panic clawing up my throat. He won't stop and he won't hesitate to kill me.

The rejection felt like a rock sitting on my chest. Twenty-two years I'd dreamed about my mate. Prayed every single night for someone who would see me, choose me, love me. And when the Moon Goddess finally answered? She gave me a man who wanted me dead.

I spotted a little hollow under a rocky overhang. I crawled inside quickly and curled into a tight ball, hugging Lila's bundle to my chest like it was the only thing keeping me alive. It was all I had left of my old life.

I tried to stay awake. Tried to keep watch. But my eyes were so heavy. My head pounded from the mate bond, throbbing like a bad bruise that wouldn't stop hurting.

Every time I closed my eyes, I saw his face-those storm-gray eyes full of nothing but disgust. Always disgust.

I hate you, Kairos, I whispered into the dark, voice cracking. I hate you for doing this to me. I hate you for being right about how broken I am.

Right as I started drifting into feverish, half-sleep, a new scent hit me hard and pulled me awake.

It wasn't Kairos. Not the sharp blood-and-copper smell of the Alpha. Not Jax's stink.

This was different. Deep. Spicy. Familiar in a way that made my skin tingle. Cedarwood. Mountain wind. The smell of a wolf who didn't belong to anyone. A wolf who had survived things that should have killed him.

A rogue? Another hunting party? Or worse?

Then I heard it-heavy footsteps, slow and deliberate, right outside my hiding spot.

A big shadow blocked the moonlight and turned everything pitch black. My eart slammed, with my lungs burning.

There was no air or any escape.

I held my breath until my lungs screamed. My heart slammed so hard I thought it would crack my ribs. I prayed to a Goddess I didn't believe in anymore to make me invisible.

Please pass. Please don't stop. Please.

But I wasn't.

A large, dark hand reached into the hollow.

I scrambled back, nails digging into dirt, but there was nowhere left to go.

This was probably my end.

I opened my mouth to scream, to beg for help I knew wouldn't come, but a rough, warm palm clamped over my lips. It smelled like earth. Like home in a way I couldn't explain.

Home. How? How can that feel like home?

"Found you," a deep, gravelly voice whispered right against my ear.

It sounded like a dream I used to have or the worst nightmare coming true.

I looked up through the spaces between his fingers. Glowing gold eyes stared back at me. Intense. Burning. Not full of hate like Kairos's eyes but full of something else. Something hungry. Something that made my stomach flip.

For a heartbeat his gold eyes flickered - darker, almost black - then cleared. I told myself it was just exhaustion

Before I could fight or before I could even think, a strange sweet mist filled the air. My muscles went soft, my head fell back and once more, my body betrayed me again.

The last thing I felt was his arms sliding under me, lifting me like I weighed nothing.

"Sleep, Elara," he murmured low against my ear. "The King can't reach you here."

And then the world went completely black.

The sweet smell lingered on my tongue when I woke, but the fear was gone. Only heavy fog remained, weighing my limbs like lead.

I wasn't in the hollow anymore. I wasn't running.

Soft furs cradled me inside a cave. Firelight danced on stone walls. My side didn't scream when I shifted, someone had cleaned the gash and wrapped it in herb-scented linen.

"Don't try to shift," a low voice rumbled from the shadows. "The mist keeps your wolf quiet. You need rest."

I bolted upright, my heart hammering. The memories of the night came rushing back, the rejection, the hunt, the gold eyes in the dark.

,A man stepped into the firelight. He was tall, shoulders wide, dark hair falling messy over his forehead. No shirt. Scars crossed his ribs, shoulder, forearm marks that said he'd faced things that should've killed him and walked away anyway.

But damn... he was beautiful.

Rough, dangerous beautiful. The kind that hits you in your gut because you know this man could break you in half and some stupid part of you wants to find out what that feels like.

My mouth went dry. My wolf stirred hard. He smelled like destruction and shelter all at once. He looked like the boy from the orchard who once whispered he'd get me out of those kitchens.

He took a slow step closer.

I flinched before I could stop myself. He froze instantly and raised his both hands up with palms open.

"It's me. I'm not here to hurt you."

"Kael?" I whispered, my voice cracking.

He stopped, his gold eyes softening just a fraction. "You remember me."

"You're supposed to be dead," I said, my voice rising as the panic set in. "Kairos said you died in the purge. He said-"

"Kairos says a lot of things to keep his throne" Kael interrupted, his voice dropping into a low growl. He walked over and sat on a stone ledge across from me. "I had to stay dead to stay alive, Elara. But I've been watching. I saw what happened at the ceremony."

He held out the bowl. It was water. I took it with shaking hands, my mind spinning.

"But I'm not Kairos. I don't fear what you are."

He glanced up. Our faces were close. Too close that I saw his eyes flick down to my mouth just for a second then came right back up and the air between us suddenly became heavy.

He then cleared his throat. "You shifted into a Shadow Wolf."

"Yeah."

"That's dangerously rare." He paused, voice softening. "Beautiful." He said that last word quietly.

"But everyone says it's a curse and calls us monsters. But I don't feel like a monster. I feel... weirdly okay. Stronger. It doesn't add up with what they've always said."

Kael sat back a little, thinking for a second.

"Because power like that scares the ones who want to stay on top," he said. "There's an old prophecy that a Shadow Wolf will either save the packs or level them to the ground. They decided it was easier to hunt us than to find out which one you are."

"So he rejected me... because of some old bullshit prophecy."

Kael nodded.

"He's scared of what you could do. But he's also scared of what happens if he lets you go. The bond doesn't break easy. You feel it, right?"

I nodded. "All the time. Sometimes it's this soft, quiet pull. Other times it hurts so bad I can't breathe."

"That's why he's hurting too," Kael said. "And why he'll come after you one day."

"Why did you take me, Kael? Why the mist? Why didn't you just let me run?"

Kael turned back to me, and the intensity in his gaze made my breath hitch. He didn't look at me like the "scentless mutt" I'd been for twenty-two years. He looked at me like I was a prize he'd finally caught.

"Because you wouldn't have made it another mile," he said. "I didn't just stumble across you, Elara. I've been waiting for this."

"For what?"

"For you to wake up. For you to see what you actually are." He leaned in just a little, his gold eyes burning with a dark, familiar fire. "And for you to help me take back what Kairos stole."

Of course you want something. Silly me, thinking a man like him would just... want me.

I stared at him, my heart hammering against my ribs. "You want the throne?" I asked, my voice trembling. "You want to take his place?"

Kael's jaw tightened, a bitter shadow crossing his face.

"I want what was promised to me before our father conveniently died and Kairos let Mara whisper him onto the throne. That chair belongs to the strongest of the bloodline, Elara. Our father knew I had the Shadow strength. Kairos knew it too that's why he cast me out."

He leaned in, his gold eyes burning. "But I don't just want the crown he stole. I want the only thing he has left that makes him a King. I want the woman he was too much of a coward to claim. I want you."

My wolf rumbled. She wasn't looking at the bond with Kairos anymore. She was looking at the man standing right in front of us.

Gosh, my wolf is so shameless.

"Kairos rejected you because he's afraid of the dark," Kael whispered, his hand sliding to the back of my neck, pulling me just an inch closer. "But I've been living in it for years. I know exactly who you are, Elara. And I know why the bond with Kairos feels so wrong."

I pulled back just enough to look at him. "What do you mean?"

Kael's smile was dangerous and completely devastating.

"I'm saying the Moon Goddess doesn't make mistakes, Elara. She makes backups." He reached out, his thumb grazing my jawline, and a spark of pure, electrical heat snapped between us. It was different from the bond with Kairos-this wasn't a heavy chain; it was a spark that set my blood on fire. "Kairos was your fated match, but he threw you away. And the moment he did, the shadows chose me to catch you."

His smile was warm... but his grip on my arm tightened a fraction too long, gold eyes flashing something possessive, almost hungry.

"He isn't your only mate, Elara. He was just the first one to fail you."

Kairos failed me but Kael was right here. He was warm. He was real. And he was looking at me like I was the only thing that mattered in the dark.

"I have two mates," I breathed, the realization hitting me like a physical blow.

I didn't know if I should run or stay.

Suddenly, the bond in my chest gave a violent, painful yank.

Kairos.

He was close. I could feel his wolf howling in the distance, tearing through the forest like a hurricane. He was searching for me, his possessive rage leaking through the link so strongly it made me want to throw up.

Kael stood up, his posture shifting into something lethal and predatory. He didn't look scared; he looked like he had been waiting for this fight for years.

"He's coming for you," Kael murmured, looking toward the cave entrance. "He feels another male near his mate, and his wolf is going feral. But he's hitting a wall. The Shadow Realm protects this place."

He turned back to me, eyes glowing gold.

"Only one of us is keeping you, Elara." His voice dropped, rough and certain. "And it won't be the man who called you a monster."

His hand cupped my jaw, thumb pressing just hard enough to tilt my face up.

"Tomorrow," he said, his voice dropping into a lethal promise. "I start teaching him that he didn't just throw away a mate. He threw away his right to lead this pack. He's been a King of lies for too long, Elara. It's time a real Shadow took the lead."