Tainted Memories

TITLE

Tainted Memories

AUTHOR

Honesty577

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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author's imagination.

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COPYRIGHT

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any manner without the written permission of the author except for use of quotations in a book review. If you want this book to be placed on your platform please see contact information on the author page.

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DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to my many loyal readers, my creator and my ancestors.

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

I would like to thank my loyal readers for their continuous love and support, I would also like to express my gratitude to my ancestors and creator for blessing me with the strength to complete this novel.

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Honesty577❤️‼️

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TITLE

Tainted Memories

AUTHOR

Honesty577

COVER

COVER

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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author's imagination.

.

COPYRIGHT

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any manner without the written permission of the author except for use of quotations in a book review. If you want this book to be placed on your platform please see contact information on the author page.

.

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to my many loyal readers, my creator and my ancestors.

.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

I would like to thank my loyal readers for their continuous love and support, I would also like to express my gratitude to my ancestors and creator for blessing me with the strength to complete this novel.

.

Honesty577❤️‼️

CHAPTER SONG SUGGESTION _ SAM MYERS - I GOT THE BLUES

Mesi's POV

LOVE.

PURPOSE.

PASSION.

DREAMS.

All things I had spent my life denying myself unknowingly.

I took a deep breath closing my eyes trying my best to calm the beating in my head as oceans of stress continued to wash away the peace that kept me afloat, leaving me to drown in waters of worry.

My eyes opened once more as my gaze fell to the notebook filled with my poetry that was resting on the passenger seat of my car as I continued to debate between which one I would be using at the reading tonight. It was one of many passions but a doubtful mind had me pursuing other things since my family had beaten the idea of stability in me instead of dream chasing, which I appreciated while also resenting since it left me spending my twenties following a paper trail instead of my heart.

I opened the car door slowly, hoping to find a mental branch to hold onto as I stepped out allowing my shoes to greet the hard concrete, the cool night breeze immediately running against my skin leaving goosebumps to form.

I locked the car as I began making my way to the entrance of the club, my observant gaze not missing the multiple couples going about their day, the sight somewhat wounding me. It's not that I had anything against relationships, it's just that I watched every day as the people around me fell recklessly in love, each word of attraction and adoration serving as a sound of mockery to my yearning soul.

I had been in relationships before but they all ended much to my dismay, each one leaving me with a little less hope when it came to finding love.

I had spent nights hoping and dreaming for someone to look past the scars on my skin to see my soul, rebuild my past to create a future, someone to love me despite my overthinking nature and tired heart that sometimes breaks itself apart to create a guard that blocks me from the many expectations I hold.

Someone whose love for me goes beyond physical attraction, a love that feeds my spirit, waters my soul, heals my heart, understands my emotions, understands me, and sometimes I wonder if I was dreaming of the impossible.

I stepped into the club, the aura changing completely as the sound of sweet blues echoed around the room pulling hearts and small movements from the crowd of people, the scent from a thousand different fragrances that mixed with the strong liquor and lit cigarettes approached my nose, abruptly greeting my sense of smell.

It was as if I was transported to the early 70s, the only difference being the attire of the people in the club. I glanced around the area gazing at different faces as conversation buzzed, nobody really pulling my attention but then again my attention was rather cheap when it came to paying.

For the first time tonight, my busy mind paused as it settled on the piece I would be performing and I knew my heart was the source of the suggestion.

I walked over to the bar deciding to grab a drink before I made my way onto the stage, eyes met me slowly and I ignored them knowing that stares were all they really could be since my facial expression screamed unapproachable, a skill no one but life could teach me.

"Same thing?" The bartender Al asked the minute I approached the bar and I nodded reaching into my jacket pocket as he bent slightly lifting a glass resting it on the counter.

"Performing tonight?" he questioned filling my glass and I nodded placing the money on the table as the feeling of a set of sharp eyes pierced into the side of my head.

"A song or a poem?"

"A poem," I replied lifting my glass taking a small sip directing my gaze to the source of the curious eyes that felt as if they never left me.

The owner of the pair of eyes had me gazing a bit longer than intended as she flashed me a smile which I returned before pulling away moving closer to the stage knowing I was up next. The exhaustion in my body from the heavy workload I had been attending to all week pulled a tired yawn from me.

I watched as the man exited the stage and I replaced him, placing my glass of liquor on the stool as I adjusted the mic to my height. The light shined on me and my insecurity was busy convincing my mind to shy away but my strong-willed confidence quickly shot down every plea as I cleared my throat.

"Goodnight everyone," I voiced earning replies as I gathered my words.

"The piece I have composed for tonight is titled Love and I hope you all enjoy it," I added earning a slight sound of applause and I knew they were all from regulars, people who had sat, stood and leaned against walls and watched me perform the words my soul had poured onto paper.

"Fall in love with the mind and soul and not the body, build a friendship to create a steady foundation instead of an image to please society. Love without restraint. Love unconditionally. Love for you. Don't mistake a few minutes of pleasure for love, don't mistake years for loyalty, and don't paint pain and heartbreak as a necessity in your relationship. Be with someone who inspires you to be better, be with someone who will love you for you, love you naked, love you unconditionally, love you with flaws, Love you because it is inevitable," I started gazing at the engaged minds, my each and every word running to the opening of their ear, hoping to inspire and capture their hearts.

"You should be a priority, you should be happy, the person you give your all to should never have you questioning your worth. Don't be afraid to ask for reassurance because it is only human nature to question things. Before you fall into someone, heal you, know you, love you, and Respect you. Learn that love without respect is not love and know that you are more than enough," I finished and loud applause sounded, I lifted my drink saying a small thank you as I moved off the stage, my forced confidence finally getting its chance to rest after the battle it had with my insecurity and doubtful mind.

I moved over to the bar, earning compliments on the way that I received with a small thank you and friendly smile. The glass met my awaiting lips as I down the liquid quickly enjoying the burn it left on the way down before placing the glass on the counter.

"Beautiful piece," a voice called out and I followed the sound looking to my right to see the woman from earlier standing with a small smile playing on her lips.

"Thank you," I replied my appreciative gaze falling to her beautiful locs that shined with glory.

"I didn't expect that from you," she confided.

"What did you expect?"

"More rugged words," she explained and I nodded amused, not really being able to put up a fight to her assumptions since my exterior image screamed nothing but that.

"I hope I didn't disappoint," I voiced and she smiled leaning against the counter.

"You didn't," she replied and I stood there meeting her curious gaze as my flirty nature awoke from its slumber.

"Can I buy you a drink?" I asked softly and she replied with a small smile.

"That's fine," she voiced and I was about to respond but the bottle meeting the counter had my words retreating as I looked over to see Al.

"Miss," he voiced and she replied with a small thank you lifting the bottle allowing him to walk away.

"It was nice talking to you," she dismissed walking away before I got a chance to offer my own goodbye, but I deemed it as fate since further interaction would probably just lead to another memory I pondered on with a feeling of regret and sadness in the depts of my soul.

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Thanks for reading ❤️‼️

Hope you enjoyed the chapter ❤️‼️

Destiny's POV

LOVE.

LUST.

OBSESSION.

INFATUATION.

As time passed it was harder for me to tell the difference, well that was until it came to an end, an end that now seemed inevitable for all my romantic relationships. The moment we drifted things became clear, feelings defined themselves, and the nature of what I really felt came out of hiding, it was as if the loss of constant communication and intimate moments suppressed my heart enough for my logic to step in and reveal that I at the age of 28 had never felt actual LOVE, but I have felt LUST, I have been OBSESSED, I have been INFATUATED.

I was seemingly always the constant with all these failed attempts of feeling something that could hold a soul more than regret could ever fathom.

The meaningless flirting was something I did to occupy my passionate heart but it never kept my soul, mind and spirit fed, it only revealed just how lost I was on my journey to feel something real, and the multiple time I convinced myself that I had a crush on someone because I was bored voiced how desperate I had become.

Even with this knowledge I still repeated my previous actions seemingly hoping for a different outcome. My need for validation left me in situations that a fool would know to avoid, and the failed relationship with my family especially my father just added another weight to my already well-burdened shoulders.

I leaned forward stretching my aching back as I tried to keep myself together long enough to get through the workday.

It was rather draining having to be perfect on the outside when on the inside you held more imperfections than a crumbled piece of paper that was left in the rain all day.

My phone rang and I glanced over at my phone to see a call from my half-sister.

"Hello," I announced the moment I placed the device to my ear.

"Hey Destiny, it's Jazmine," she voiced

"I know," I replied leaning back a hint of sadness filling me as my mind drifted to all the years we lost out on as sisters due to our father never telling her about me, or me about her and her family until two months ago when he got out of prison.

I had gone to meet her shortly after finding out on my own since she didn't care to see the man, her relationship with him being more damaged than the relationship I had with him.

"I heard you moved into town," she voiced and I nodded before my mind quickly reminded me that she couldn't see the confirming gesture.

"Yeah, last week,"

"And you didn't tell me," she replied earning a small smile from me.

"It slipped my mind, I've been busy with work you know I just bought the club on 23rd right?" I questioned.

"Yeah, that's how I found out you moved here, John the guy you bought it from we were talking yesterday and he brought up that he sold the club and asked to who an-"

"And he told you," I voiced remembering placing the knowledge that I had recently moved here to the man the last time we spoke.

"Yeah," she replied chuckling.

"Where are you?"

"I'm on my way to the gym, also Britt and I are having a small get together at the house Saturday,"

"I'm going to be there,"

"Alright Imma call tomorrow," she voiced and I replied with a small okay allowing her to end the call before returning to my draining and overthinking mind.

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Mesi's POV

Sweat ran down my beautifully melanated skin as I walked towards the bench leaving her to collect the drinks we ordered since my exhausted body was in desperate need of some rest.

I sat down slowly ignoring the slight ache in my legs, my gaze enjoying the greeny that I was surrounded by each piece of nature calming my busy mind that was still occupied with work.

"You trying to run another mile?" Jazmine asked and I followed her voice to meet her outstretched hand that held my fruit smoothie.

"I'm trying to go home," I voiced earning a small laugh as she sat down and I quickly lifted my drink taking down some.

"How is the wedding planning going?" I asked knowing her and her soon to be wife Brittany had finally begun preparations for the big day. It was something she deserved since all the years I knew the woman she gave more than received to her partners, it was nice to see someone return the love she gave out.

"It's going," she replied making me laugh as I lifted my small towel wiping my face.

"That bad?"

"It isn't bad, it's just..stressful," she voiced smiling.

"How so?"

"Britt is a perfectionist," she confessed before taking a sip of her smoothie leaving me to fill in the blanks.

"Well at least she's finally started the whole wedding planning thing," I pointed out and she smiled leaning back before tilting her head in my direction.

"I love how happy she is when she's planning everything, it's like the same amount of excitement Aria has when she watches Princess and the frog for the 100th time," She confided grinning and I sat there appreciating the love in her eyes.

"Are you coming by the house Saturday?" she questioned as I took another sip of my smoothie.

"The get-together thing?"

"Yeah,"

"Who all gonna be there?" I asked curiously.

"The usual guests, and my sister,"

"Sarah coming?"

"No Destiny, the one I told you I recently found out about," she explained and I nodded.

"Spain and I been wanting to meet her," I replied truthfully as her phone began ringing and she said a small excuse attending to it, the smile on her face letting me know it was Britt.

"Imma head out," I mouthed and she nodded allowing me to leave.

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Thanks for reading ❤️‼️

Hope you enjoyed the chapter ❤️‼️