THERESA's Life Story.

"Dear God, I have come to you this moment to seek your help. Your word says that; ask it shall be given to me, seek that I shall find, knock and the door shall be opened to me. These words are yours and not mine, Please dear Lord, bring peace to my Family. Give my Mom the strength to carry on, change my Dad from bad to go. . ."

"Theresa!" I heard my Dad yell my name from the living room. I hate being interrupted.

I concluded my prayer in a hurry, did the sign of the cross, and immediately dashed out of my room to obey my father's call.

Mr. Grignard Lawson is my Father's name. He has strange eyes- a clear, pale brown, like Amber from the tall forests across the sea. His skin is a matte deepness of black, he has a shiny goatee, dark bristly mustache. He has a devil-may-care outlook and a stellar smile, a deep voice. He is as tall as a giraffe and as wicked as a witch. Yes I said that

Our living room has a peculiar shape. A black and white fitted tile has covered the whole room. There's a flat television screen, 40inches. The TV is placed carefully on the wall facing the entrance. There is a shelf with six drawers below the TV position. The shelves are in tempered glass. The color is black. On the shelves, there are CDs of any existing kind of CD's as well as speakers and DVD players.

On the bottom of the wall facing west, there is a glass door cabinet. The cabinet is in tinted solid spruce. The raw material that has been used for the cabinet is strawberries' tree's wood. The color is dark brown and it is equipped with eight shelves. On top of them, there are mainly glasses as well as two tee's services in porcelain.

In the center of the room, there is a painted finish white coffee table. The top is in glass with the corners reinforced in wood. The bottom part is wood. The table is pretty short, as it has to go on a level with the sofa.

The sofa is divided into three sections that can be moved around to create a suitable combination. Its white cover is removable. The sofa is a hundred percent cotton. Its steel frames are chrome plated and therefore it gives them that silver shiny look. Positioned on top of them there are two black cushions each.

On the same wall, there is a portray painted by Boccelli, the paint represents a man who has nothing and rests on the doorstep of an Italian church. Whenever I walk inside it I feel weird however, I don't know why but I don't feel at home and wish for breaking free out of its invisible grasp. I suppose this could mean that I don't like my house or I don't like my family.

I don't know what to say; I like sitting on the sofa alone because I am used to it, however, if my father were to sit beside me uneasiness would fill me.

I spotted my father sitting on the armchair, I don't know why he likes sitting there. weird

I stood by the door and

'Yes daddy' I answered

There was no response from him, I guess he's deep in thoughts. Who cares? I murmured to myself

I moved close to him so I can get his attention

'Yes daddy' I answered again but in a high tone this time.

He was quite taken aback, honestly, he didn't know I was there.

"What is the meaning of the stupid act you displayed earlier today at my office?" He asked

"I am sorry sir, what stupid act are you talking about?

He gave me a furious look, he has already started gnashing his molars; one thing he does whenever he is raged, his eyes were slowly turning red

I took few steps backward at the discovery of these

I began to fidget. My legs turned cold instantly, my palms became sweaty, I felt the urge to defecate immediately. Yes, my dad has that much effect on me. His next act would be a thunderous slap on my cheek, Mr. Grignard can never do away with it. He slaps whoever, he's a violent man

He is one of the reasons my brother left home and my younger sister had to go live with my Aunt in another City.

"You made a rule never to disturb you whenever you're in your room, the only time I have to talk to you is during breakfast but these days you skip breakfast the same way you skip dinner, I had no other choice than to visit you at your office. I needed to pay my tuition fee before the school portal shuts down" I finally spoke up still fidgeting

"You couldn't drop a text huh ? he roared

You planned to paint me red as the devil and you did! I am an irresponsible father right?! Imagine the embarrassment in everyone's presence! At my workplace!" He roared why coming close to me as I continued moving backward till I was unable to move anymore

"You're strong, you can handle it," I said to myself as if I know what was coming

"You, your mom, your siblings are the worst thing that ever happened to me, especially your mom!"

"I regret meeting your mom! I regret having you as a daughter! You're so dumb! You're. . .

"Dad. . ." I called out in a low voice. I was about to apologize when I felt a hot hit on my face. It was a slap, I gasped. Today's humiliation hits different, I wonder why. Stars escaped my eyes, I gently touched my cheek to feel the hotness and without control, tears rolled down my eyes. My heart's broken, my Dad hates me.

I closed my eyes and made a wish; Please go away, I wished. Like a human who just heard witches call his name, he immediately left home to his usual place; a bar.

I stood by the wall like I was glued to it. "Today's torture hits different," I said to myself again. I had stopped crying, honestly, it has always been this way and I am used to it already. My childhood experience was worse than this, my dad would abuse my mom not minding if his children are watching. He would throw his served food at her with the complaint of too much or no salt, he would leave home early and come back late banging on the door ready to lash out on anyone who delays in opening the door. He would demand food late at night not minding if my mom is asleep or not. Every bill has always been on my mom, he has never played the role of a father. He is so good at cheating on his wife without remorse, he keeps friends as abusive as he is, one of his friends I hate is Mr. George Ricks, a replica of my father, his bar mate, and fellow violent lover. One time my dad lost his job, my mom paid off his debts, looked out for him, and still got treated badly as a payback. Countless times my mom had tried trashing her wedding rings, she thought things would get better if my dad got a good job and she saw to it but it got worse.

My dad works at Authentic Gadgets Limited, where he works as a manager in charge of the importation and exportation of electronic gadgets. He rarely comes back home, skips breakfast and dinner, yells at everyone for everything which has always been his specialty, extended the hurtful words from my mom to us, his kids, pressures my mom to leave home, gets mad, and stops her if she tries to leave.

My phone blared Jcole's Amari and I was brought back to reality. I was still standing glued to the wall and I had forgotten, I tried moving my legs but it was too heavy. I didn't even realize I have been standing for too long, the also sent me into deep thoughts. My legs were free to move now, the tingling thing has stopped.

I quickly rushed upstairs to my room. My room is adjacent to Nichole's room, my younger sister's. It is one of the biggest rooms in our duplex house, it has black wallpaper and a white tile, the best combo ever. Yes, I love black because it's beautiful and hidden. My two windows have blinds, I hate curtains because I'm too lazy to do laundry. You'd sight a big-sized wooden wardrobe by the left-hand side of my room, my flat-screen TV carefully placed on the wall faced the entrance, my bed was a big-sized one; I love comfort. Even my bedsheets and pillowcases are black, that's how obsessed I am with black. I moved closed to my mirror which has a table and drawers attached to it. Reaching out for my phone, I looked at it; "thirteen missed calls" I said

I didn't realize it'd been ringing for a long time. I unlocked the phone to see whose call I missed, it was Richard. I love talking to Richard but now isn't the time. I dropped my phone and faced the mirror, as brown-skinned as I am, I can still see the redness on my cheek. My collar bones were visible already, my arms are getting thinner by the day, Acnes are living freely on my face, my short black hair looks so unkept and dry, eye bags as usual due to overthinking and not getting enough sleep. I was never blessed with big boobs but the little I have is decreasing daily, my nicely carved black lips keep getting blacker. My eyes, a clear pale brown just like my dad's look weak. My eyes and last name are the only this I got from him.

I sighted my ear piercing from the mirror, the earring is worn out and needs to be changed. Ding! My phone beeped one new message.

"Just called to check on you, call me as soon as you get this text, I miss you Theresa Lawson" I smiled. Richard does know how to put those on my face.

I sat on my bed with my laptop on my lap, I was going through my acceptance letter from Kingston College, I smiled. Apart from being able to put up with the toxicity in my home, this acceptance letter staring at me is my greatest achievement.

I have written a lot of examinations in different schools but failed almost all which is why my father never ceases to call me dumb.

Faraday's College has been my choice of school since I graduated from high school, It's a school with so much excellence, the fact that their background color is black excites me, students are their priority, there's less record on suicide, all depressed students have counselors assigned to them, they have the highest record of successful graduates, the best school ever but I wasn't able to get in due to my low grades.

Studying and concentrating was always hard for me, I would always read one line close to six times, my head was always aching, I had and still have a whole lot to deal with. The sight of my mom in pain weakens me, flashbacks of the memories break me down, I started overthinking about what I would do to free her of her pains, a point I wished my father died but I had a rethink, he's not supposed to die, at least not yet. I would want him to see the dumb girl win, I'll kill him with "kindness"

I moved out of our home to go stay with Mrs. Phil so I'd study for my examination. Even as I moved there, it was still hard for me but I was able to suppress it because I wasn't witnessing the toxicity at that moment.

Mrs. Phil was that woman my mom has always confided in, she has always been her friend ever since she met her in the church during her husband's burial thanksgiving. Nancy, her daughter was my best friend until she got into College, changed her circle, and became different. I studied hard, I stayed up all night, due to my poor grades in high school, I needed to skyrocket my grades so I underwent so many tutorials online and it helped.

I wrote my examinations and passed, but nothing at all can ever please my dad, he still called me dumb. He is unappeasable.

I told him I got accepted to major in the English Language at Kingston College but the response I got from my dad made a mood of despondency set in.

*Flashback*

"Faraday's College isn't for you because you're dumb just like your mom"

I shook my head swiftly, the flashback had put me in dejection.

I suddenly recalled the plan to meet Richard at his domicile, I picked up my phone and dialed his number but unfortunately it was out of reach. I dropped a voicemail, I have always loved voicemails.

"What do I do?" I ask myself

I am a twenty-year-old introvert but an introvert who loves having fun in my abode.

My circle is so small because I talk to people only when talked to, I love soundless places; my brain is always in use at all times. People think I'm a tight-lipped person but I'm far from it, I can be crazy only when I get comfortable, Richard loves my crazy side.

"Richard" I whispered his name smiling.

A 5'7ft Twenty-two years old guy, He has a blue colored eye, those blue eyes were ocean-strong, swimming with warm sun-lit currents. His nose pointed, his skin color brown and glowing, he has the brightest, cut, energetic, and contagious smile ever. He's my ideal type; my spec.

A perfect combination of imperfections.

He is not a person with high-end dreams, but with high-end values. He is not a person who finds happiness in extremely costly items, but someone who finds happiness in mere things.

He is a person with high self-esteem but doesn't come up when I am with him. He will lose his cool too often but comes back to me with a cute puppy face. He doesn't hesitate to help people, he's more like a caregiver. I hate to think this way but he's husband material.

And it's never an ideal relationship between us, I am scared of commitments and I have trust issues.

He gives me confidence when I feel low. He gives me the courage when I am scared like a chicken. He would crack jokes, and I'll laugh till I start crying. And most importantly, he gives me the confidence that I will be safe with him but I'm too scared to try nevertheless he's willing to wait.

"Ruchama, Are you alright?" my mom asked. She prefers to call me by that Hebrew name, she says I am her comfort and hope.

She stood by the door looking worn out with so much concern in her eyes she asked if I was alright again. I didn't notice the door open and close, of course, I won't; I was reminiscing about my crush.

"I'm fine Mom, welcome home," I said smiling as I walk to her for a big hug. We chatted about work and a new food recipe she'd like to try.

I quickly showered for the third day, not my fault. My fanaticism as regards tidiness and neatness is something else. I joined my mother in the kitchen, watching and helping her cook is one of the best memories I'll ever cherish

"How's Richard by the way?" She asked nonchalantly. My mom knows the chemistry between us but acts like she doesn't.

"Richard's fine, we were supposed to meet today but I can't reach him," I said "Maybe he got caught up with something and forgot to have his phone plugged in, he'll call you soon," my mom said assurance. She started one of her counseling sessions again, this time around she made me see reasons why I should say yes to Richard...

"Mom, you don't just. . ." My mom's phone interrupted. I quickly moved to the microwave to get the phone placed on it. I looked at the phone and it was a video call request from my brother. My mom accepted the call request and surprisingly, Nicole was with him. He had gone to see her since he was in town at that moment. We blabbed and chatted about so many things till we got tired of talking and laughing. I looked at my mom, the genuine laugh and overwhelmed were visible, I wished she'd remain as happy as a Lark her whole life.

It's Friday and the time is 6 in the morning. Nicole had told my mom the last time we face-timed that she'd want me to come to Houston to get her.

I said my morning prayers and finished off with a sign of the cross. I left my bed actively, went straight to my wardrobe to select my wear for today.

I have always loved casuals, I feel very comfy in them. I picked a pair of black pants, a black t-shirt, ash-colored Calvin Klein panties, and a bra and placed them gently on my bed. I moved close to my shoe rack and made a selection. Guess what I picked? A black and white comfy slipper. "All set," I said to myself

I quickly dashed into my bathroom to shower, it took me five minutes to wash up, usually, it's more than five minutes but because Nicole had communicated to me through text last night that she'd be ready by 6 pm, I had to hurry up.

Duration from Texas to Houston was about 497KM, which means I'd get there in the next 11 or 12 hours if there's no traffic mess. I would have driven my father's car but he wouldn't let me.

Richard had taught me to drive when I turned eighteen, I damaged the side mirror before I was able to learn.

I took the risk of gravity run from my bathroom to my door to make sure my door was locked. I moved to my table and grabbed my lotion, gently massaged it on my body. I wore my bra and panties, slipped on my pair of jeans and t-shirt. I looked closely into the mirror as I noticed tiny acne on my skin, it's almost time for rubbish(menstruation)as I call it. I grabbed my Nivea face toner and applied it, I dabbed my face a little to make sure it's evenly dispersed. I brushed my long hair and put it in a ponytail, I reached out for my neck chain and fixed it on my neck.

"Perfect," I said smiling

I grabbed my clutch which I hung on the wall and quickly slipped into my comfy slipper.

I left my room to my parent's room so I'd tell them I was ready to leave. I heard my mom sobbing as I approached the door. The energy and the good feeling I had for the day have all gone off, I became weak. I hate it when my mom is in pain. I knocked on the door a hard way and the door was opened by my father.

"What're you doing here?" he asked

"Where's my mom?" "Why do you emanate so much joy in hurting your wife?" "Why are you this mean?" "Are you really her husband?" "Did you ever love her?" my eyes grew misty as I ask

I pushed the door wide open as I barged in to pull my mom out of the room.

We left for my room, I gave her a tight hug and told her everything will be fine.

I persuaded her to stop crying and she did. I told her that I'd see her once I come back from Houston. She knew Nichole had grown tired of my Aunt and her family that was why she wanted to be home.

***

I arrived in Houston at exactly 6 pm and I tracked down my Aunt's place with the help of my sister. I have never been to her house because I never liked her, she was always in support of my father and his ill-treatment towards my mom. I knocked on the door like a civil person would do and stood to get answered. The door opened and it was my seventeen year old sister, she gave me a tight hug, pecked, and whispered "I missed you" to my ear.

"I missed you too Cole," I said smiling hard

"I'm all set, I told them to send my luggage home"

I nodded and gestured my face toward the entrance to indicate my inquisitiveness on the availability of my Aunt.

"No one's home" she assured me.

She dashed into the house, grabbed her bag and we left. We boarded a taxi to a nearby hotel where we spent the night and left for Texas the next morning.

The journey was a long one, Nicole told me stories of how my Aunt had deprived her of happiness just because she's staying with her. I clenched my fist at the knowledge of it, I wish I was there. My dad's folks are the worst people I've ever met, I really wish he was never my dad. We ate chocolates and chatted about so many things, and of course, Jerome.