THE STAND-IN BRIDE

I was starting to lose my patience. I gritted my teeth in irritation, a habit I was trying hard to stop. 'Very unladylike', Jackie will always tell me.

Slowly, my eyes scanned through the carpeted lobby of the Elyse and Patterson mansion down to the grand staircase.

Each frame on the wall represents a past president of the company.

"Where on earth could he be?" I muttered thirty minutes down the line, yet there was no sign of him or my parents.

I wanted the day to be done so bad. Marrying my sister's husband is not an anticipated event in my life, but my parents have insisted on it as it's the only way to save the company from going under. They used their blood, sweat and tears to get me to accept this wedding.

I remember my father walking into my room just the night after Jackie's burial, drunk and unstable.

"You need to keep Mac company tonight and console him for the loss". He drawled.

"Dad, Mac is not a baby that needs a nanny to put him to sleep".

"I know" my dad responded. "But we are family, and family takes care of their own".

"Jackie has just been buried, Dad. I am hurting so much, too. I lost my younger sister to an avoidable accident; her corpse was never recovered from the fire, and you are telling me to keep the cause of the accident company? Why dad? Is the grief affecting your thinking?

"Be mindful of what you say, Lilian. The police confirmed it was an accident." My father responded.

"But the same police confirmed the presence of alcohol in his blood. Besides, I am surprised that you are not concerned about the fact that till now, your daughter's corpse has not been recovered.

What we buried was mere ashes. There is no way they could not have recovered anything of hers from the site of the accident, but I can see that you and your wife have decided to believe what suits you."

My dad shifted his position, looking everywhere else but at me.

"You judge me wrongly, Lillian."

"No, Dad," I continued. "If Mac hadn't drunk, Jackie would still be alive today. Have you forgotten that already?"

"No, Lillian, I have not forgotten. Listen, you need to understand that every great empire was built on sacrifices. Lilian, I am pleading with you to make one for your family." My father begged, piercing his gaze at me.

I stood still, speechless, staring at the man I have called father for the past twenty-three years. My heart melted; I could no longer recognize him.

No more words were spoken. My father quietly walked out of the room without uttering another word.

I rested my back on the closed door and gradually slipped to the floor. My legs gave way to the weight of pain in my heart. I let the tears flow.

I didn't just cry for Jackie; I cried for my late mum; I cried for all the years I had been treated as a stranger in my own home while my mum's best friend and her daughter took over everything that was rightfully mine. I cried for the life I was about to face.

***AFTER A WHILE***

I lost track of the time; I must have dozed off in exhaustion. A tap at the door tossed me back into my dreadful reality.

"Lillian, the driver will be here in an hour to pick you up." My dad said behind the door. I gradually got up from the floor and made my way to the bathroom.

The hot water ran through my hair and cascaded down my back, relieving me from my sore body.

Reluctantly, I stepped out of the bath and was faced with my reflection in the mirror. I look like I just fought with the devil. The tears rolled down my cheek again, and I didn't bother to stop them.

I quietly picked up my purse, still in my mourning clothes and with a tear-stained face, I closed the door behind me.

The Maybach was parked directly at the entrance, I stepped in like a remote-controlled doll, and it sped off into the darkness.

Slowly, I made my way through the dimly lit staircase, trying to locate the right turn to the penthouse. I feel so tired. I am not even sure of what exactly I am doing here.

Suddenly, I was knocked off balance by a strong arm that gripped me and dragged me inside a dark room. I lashed back with all the strength I could muster within me. I heard a shout followed by a number of curses as the light came on.

"Mac!!! I shouted in shock. "What is this all about?"

"Why are you acting all surprised?" he smirked. Didn't your father tell you?

"Tell me what, Mac?" I shouted back in fear.

"Don't act dumb with me, Lillian. You are here to replace your sister and you know it! It wasn't my idea but your parents'. They assured me you are okay with it." he said, glaring at me and rubbing a spot on his chest. ¹

"No, I am not", I snapped, filled with nausea and anger. My father said, "Keep you company, not jump into your bed."

"Blame it on your parents then". He replied bluntly.

Every word spoken was like an arrow that pierced my heart, destroying the little affection I had left towards my family. I tried to convince myself it wasn't true; maybe he didn't understand what my father meant, maybe there was a mix-up somewhere, but deep down in me, I knew he was telling the truth.

"You don't need to pull through with this," I pleaded with Mac. "We don't love each other; how do you expect us to be in a relationship?"

"There is no relationship here." Mac replied, "Just a business contract".

I shuddered as a cold chill settled in my stomach.

Jackie is dead." I pleaded, as my voice drenched in frustration. "And you can pick any other woman of your choice, can't you? Why me?"

Mac chuckled and stared at me with empty eyes.

"In this side of the world, marriages are based on benefits, not love". He reached out and held my hand. I wriggled out my hand from his grip and headed for the door, determined to put an end to the nonsense.

Lillian!! Mac called out with a stern voice. Your parents assured me of your total agreement with my proposal, which was the only reason I agreed to the merger.

We need to come to an agreement to make it easy for both parties.

"What about Jackie Mac? Have you forgotten her already? What about the memories of the past years? What about the love you shared? Have you already forgotten that? She was just buried yesterday, Mac.

Mac shrugged and gradually walked towards me.

If your parents choose to forget, why bother me with the memories? Mac responded nonchalantly.

I felt betrayed and abandoned by the family I have called mine over the years. I felt like a sheep led to the slaughter. The fact that my parents were willing to exchange me for a business deal drained every strength in me to fight. All I wanted at this moment was my freedom from this madness, but it appeared that freedom was far from me.

I took a deep breath. I am not willing to argue with Mac anymore. At this point, my mind was made up. I closed the distance between Mac and me and began to pull my clothes, but when I got to my undies, my hands froze; I couldn't go on.

He looked at me with questioning eyes. "Are you new to this?" I stared at the floor without uttering a response. He cupped my chin in his arm, "Tell me, Lillian, is this your first time?" he drawled. His finger traced an imaginary line down my face while he fixed a mischievous smile on his face. Let's get down to the business of the day, I replied.

The sun hitting my face woke me up. I scanned through the room, and the memory of last night came flooding back. Mac was nowhere to be seen, not that I cared. His face was the last thing I wanted to see this morning. I felt numb, beaten and dehydrated, but most of all, I felt betrayed.

How did my life get to this point? I wondered. Life at home had never been fantastic; my stepmother made sure of that.

Six years after my birth, my mother succumbed to cancer. Her will to survive was not enough to win the war against the deadly disease. The doctors were surprised I wasn't affected. Bone marrow cancer was not an easy battle to fight.

Her best friend Belinda moved into our home immediately. Who best can take care of Lillian? She asked, if not her mother's best friend. My mother's parents were already late.

My daddy was delighted; the burden of caring for a six-year-old had been taken away from him. He can now focus on managing the company, but that lasted only for a short while. Belinda got pregnant, and I became the extra luggage.

I grew up playing second fiddle to Jackie in all aspects; though she was my junior, I got used to it, and it didn't bother me anymore. Jackie was so adorable and quickly sucked up attention. It wasn't Jackie when she was not the centre of attention.

I've learnt to find my peace in the midst of the chaos but to take over her husband a few days after her burial. Hell no!!! That is beyond it. I am done with taking over Jackie's leftovers.

My eyes darted round the room, taking in the beauty of the decor. Whoever picked the furniture must have a touch of class and sophistication. I wondered if this was the master bedroom or one of the rooms for receiving female guests. I smirked, not willing to think further on the subject.

The ringing of my phone brought me back to my present. I gritted my teeth as an arrow of pain shot through my legs as I rolled over to the table side.

I stretched out my hands and picked up the phone. I glanced at the screen and was surprised to see Mac's I.D. I have never saved his contact information on my phone. Could he have gone through my phone without my permission? I wondered. There is definitely no end to this invasion. I pressed the answer button without uttering a word.

His husky, masculine voice spoke from the other side of the phone. The chauffeur will be around to take you home by 9 am.

One other thing, Lillian, he continued, is that the mourning period is over, and you don't need to wear that black anymore. There is a dress hanging beside the dressing table. Change into it while going home.

My eyes went to the gown laid out on the chair with the price tag still on it. You are in no position to tell me what to wear, Mac, I hissed. You are now my woman, he responded. You have to dress to please me.

Taking any gift from Mac is the last thing on my mind. Who does he think he is throwing orders around? I gingerly picked my steps to the bathroom with wobbling legs. I felt aches and pains all over, but physical pain was the least of my problems. My heart was shattered. It is beyond what any drug can cure.

The hot water rushed out from the nuzzle and hit my body. I screamed as the heat burned my skin. My body adjusted to the heat within seconds, and I let the water flow.

Just what I needed at the moment.

I came out of the bathroom with red skin and a clean body; I heaved a sigh as I watched my reflection in the mirror. I didn't like what I saw at all. I have embarked on a journey that I can't determine the end.

My eyes went to my gown lying on the floor; I picked it up, straightened it out and pulled it through my head.

With my purse in hand, I headed downstairs.

"Congratulations Lillian.

You're pregnant."

The doctor announced as he walked into my room.

I turned to the doctor with a wry smile.

"That's a bad joke, right?"

"No, Lillian, I am being very serious here", the doctor said. He stretched out his hand with a piece of paper towards me. You are six weeks gone already.

I quickly sat up on the bed, careful not to disrupt the needle line on my arm.

The reality of the situation paralyzed my body. I was gripped with fear and trepidation.

The doctor nervously gazed at me, quite surprised by my reaction. The smile on his face quickly disappeared.

How can this be? I muttered to myself as I read through the report with shaky hands.

The sound of my heartbeat was deafening in my ears. Tears rolled uncontrollably down my face as the reality of the situation hit me.

The doctor quickly approached me and took the paper from my hand. He reached out for the box of napkins on top of the table and handed me some to wipe my face.

"I advise you to take the situation calmly," he said. Your recovery process has been slow, and it's better we avoid any situation that may trigger a relapse."

"This is a blow below the belt, doctor."

"I guess, Lillian. To avoid unwanted pregnancies, it is always advisable to go for protected sex"

"Protected sex", I re-echoed.

I nodded in agreement, silently hoping the doctor would leave the room. I desperately wanted to be alone. I needed to think.

"Who else knows about this situation?" I asked. I was desperately hoping that no one else had heard about it.

The doctor cast his face on the ground. Not willing to meet my eyes, I knew the truth before he even said it.

"I had to tell your father, Lillian; he was apprehensive about your health."

"What happened to the privacy of information?".

"I really apologize for this breach, Lillian. You were brought in here in a terrible shape. Your body was almost going into shock due to starvation and dehydration.

Every effort to revive you was abortive. Your body was not responding to treatment." your father acted as your guardian in the face of the situation.

"So that is it?" I retorted. I was not interested in his explanation at all.

He nodded his head.

"Your father and fiancé were exasperated, Lillian; they ordered me to run all available tests to determine the actual cause of your illness.

I sat there on the hospital bed long after the doctor had left. The incident with Mac and my father left me disoriented.

I cast my mind back to the days after I returned from Mac's house. I was totally focused on deleting the event from my mind that I didn't remember to take the necessary precautions against pregnancy.

What a fool I was.

The memories of those days came flooding back, there were the saddest days of my life. I lost the will to live. I lost the will to fight; I just wanted to end it all until I woke up one morning and found myself on the hospital bed.

I had locked myself in the room and refused to speak with either my parents or Mac. Neither did I join them in the dining room for meals.

Neither my mind nor my body could accept the situation presented before me. I have played second fiddle to Jackie all my life. Always having to make do with her leftovers, but not this time around.

It does not matter in what form it is being presented; I cannot bring myself to marry Jackie's widower.

I remember one of the days my father had come to my door.

"Lillian, Lillian!" he shouted from the other side of the door. It would be best if you came out of the room so we can talk about this; you don't have to be selfish, Lillian. Our time is running out with the banks."

The more he makes these rounds, the more resentment grows in me. I didn't want to have anything to do with this man or Mac.

The company in question belonged to my mother; she inherited it from her parents when she got married to my father and from my understanding, I am to inherit it when I get married.

My mother couldn't run the company when it was discovered that she had cancer of the bone marrow. She concentrated all her efforts on getting treatment and taking care of me. My father had to take over the affairs of the company.

After my mother's death, my father was devastated. He could neither take care of me nor take control of the company.

It was a perfect opportunity for my mother's best friend to move into our home. Her reasons seemed perfect at that time. She was in the best position to take care of me.

That arrangement didn't last too long. She also did not waste time taking over my mother's position. A few months later, she announced she was pregnant. The marriage was conducted, and I became the extra luggage.

A few years down the line, there was a total reversal of my parents' positions. My father became the one who took care of the house, while my stepmother took charge of the company.

The sound of the footsteps walking into my room brought me back to the present. I quickly turned my head to see who the intruder was.

"You have a very unpleasant way of drawing attention to yourself," Mac scoffed.

"I don't understand what you are getting at," I replied dryly. I'm not ready to get into any form of exchange with Mac.

"It's all very simple he smirked. First, you managed to get yourself in the hospital, and now you come up with the result of being knocked up."

"Knocked up. What exactly do you mean by that?"

"You don't expect me to explain everything to you in abc format, Lillian. When I say Knocked up, I mean getting yourself pregnant."

"Oh, OK ", I responded. Totally short of words.

"Better get rid of that stuff growing in there, Lillian; I am not interested in having children with you." Mac drawled. Glaring down at me with ice-cold eyes.

An uncontrollable burst of anger welled up inside me. "Who gave you the right to decide whether the pregnancy stays or not?"

"You don't want to find out", Mac thundered back at me."

"We will find out about that", I smirked, holding his gaze without wavering."