THE LOVE I MUST HATE

PROLONG:

"I do not want anyone around you," Octavia cried. "Can you stop those men from coming to you?"

It is provoking to hear her demand I change my life for her. I chose to have those men with me. It is my choice!

"If you can't live with it, we should stop being friends." I declared.

"I know you are hurting, Lisa."

"You know nothing.

"I know those men disgust you. I know you like girls; you like me."

She is not wrong now. Every stay with those men kills me a thousand times. But not anymore, I am done liking girls.

And oh, she is wrong, I do not like her; not in the way she wants.

"I will go in for a shower," I said, hoping to end the conversation.

"It has been years," but she called me back. "How long do you want to punish yourself for Uriel?"

"Don't bring her up."

"Why? Do you still want your precious first love?"

"Shut up!" I flared to Octavia and gripped her neck. "I said...Don't bring her up!"

Octavia struggled under my grip, choking and hitting my hands to let go. I refused to until I saw teardrops in the corner of her eyes.

"Eishh!" I released her and she began an endless cough which bothered less to me.

"I..." She lifted a hand at me. "I...am fine," she said amidst coughs.

Who cares?

I made my way to the washroom again but Octavia called after me.

"Hold on, Lisa!" She stretched and twisted her neck. "Am I not beautiful?" She asked out of nowhere.

Octavia isn't only beautiful, but she has the prettiest boobs I have ever seen. Well, after Uriel.

"I am not doing this with you."

"I am here asking for a chance to make you happy."

"When will you give up? I am done liking girls, Octavia. I am done!"

"I want you. I can do anything to have you."

"You will only be a friend."

"I want more. Make me more for you, please." She begged desperately.

"Octavia..."

"You only want me as a friend? Then make me a friend with benefits."

"What?"

"Have sex with me. Make me your sex partner."

A sharp thrill passed through my belly as the sex word came upon me, and I stood unsure of how to respond.

"Be careful of what you ask for, Octavia."

"I want you, Lisa," she closed the space between us. "You know I have always wanted you."

"I will go in for a shower," I swallowed my uprising interest. "And I will pretend we didn't have this conversation."

Octavia nodded and when I thought she was back to her senses, she took my hand and forcefully slid it into her panties, on her organs, onto her wet clit.

"What...are..." I stammered.

Oh god! So soft and fleshy.

"I want you, Lisa. Make love to me, fuvk me, do whatever, I will give up myself for you."

"Octavia..."

"Please...Lisa..."

I shut my eyes, trying to subdue this mess but the moment she guided my finger into her honeypot, I knew Octavia would not only be a roommate and a friend, but she would also be my daily dessert.

****************************

POV: LISA:

"Lisa!"

I scowl on hearing my name. I welcome everything but to be screamed up like that and no, I won't answer to such a calling.

"Lisa!"

I ignored whoever it may be and returned to cleaning the medical equipment on the table. I have only a few minutes to finish before joining the other hailing students at the school field.

I am neither a medical practitioner nor a student. I am barely sixteen and a student at 'Louis Nobis Girls High School'. As the infirmarian, I am the superintendent of the clinic in the absence of Reverend Sarah, the school nurse.

Although I have no plans of becoming a doctor or nurse, I was awarded the post on the merit of my emotional attachment toward students.

"You are the most caring and loving of them all," Reverend Therese would always tell me.

No, I am not as caring and loving as everyone believes. I only feel obliged to care for those I find pretty and sexy.

You heard me and please, do not say that to anyone.

Schooling in an environment filled with girls in their prime, I struggled daily to remain unaffected by their beauty. And to keep my affection in check, I hide behind being kind to everyone, living in pretense and lies.

Whereby the Reverend Sisters believed my lies, they made me the infirmary prefect and here I am, cleaning the clinic tools and counting the days I get freed from the disgusting smell of drugs and disinfectants.

"Lisa!''

The door banged open and the screamer rushed in.

"Lisa..." she held her knees to catch her breath. "Lisa...'' Another attempt to speak failed.

"What now, Gabby?" I asked uninterestingly, still wiping the blood-stained forceps.

And that, I hate the smell of blood.

"Uriel..." Gabby coughed and that name had me looking up at her with instant enthusiasm. "She...''

"What happened to Uriel?" I dropped the forceps and took to my feet.

"She is bleeding...and...''

I ran out as fast as I could, abandoning the shuttering Gabby, disregarding the rules not to leave any student alone in the clinic without my presence.

I collided with students as I raced to the school field aiming to nothing but to find Uriel.

You see, running within the premises is against the rules. At Louis Nobis, we are expected to walk as holy as the Reverend sisters at all times; even when pressed to the butt.

I understand the effect of a senior breaking the rules, but what can I do when Uriel is bleeding out there? Gabby who also felt the urgency ran her way to me. So we shouldn't be blamed.

I dashed into the field, onto the paused match. The hailing from earlier has ended and students gathered in circles, murmuring and panicking.

There is an ongoing intra-contest among the four hostels in the school. The Blue, Green, Red, and Yellow hostels are all in a tough soccer competition, playing their best for the prize.

The Green and the Red hostels are scheduled to play in the evening while the Yellow and Blue hotels will score for the winner this morning.

The two winning hotels at the end of the day would compete with each other next Saturday, and the final winning hostel would be crowned the QUEEN hostel of the year. This implies that students boarding in the Queen Hostel are free from school labor and other internal work until the end of the school session.

It is a big deal for students to take the crown. No one likes to be summoned for labor or called out for minor chores. Every student wishes for labor relief so, they boost the energy of their players by cheering out their gullets and hoping for a miracle.

Uriel among other spectators, had gone to the field to support their team. Too bad she got more than she bargained for; and worse, the match is on hold for her injury.

Who is Uriel you asked? Well, she is a junior and my mentee. The truth is that I see her beyond my junior and mentee. She means more than I can explain and right now, I need to see her bleeding face before I go nuts.

LISA:

"Uriel!"

Students turned to my voice, parted an entrance for me and I went into the crowd and before Uriel.

Her face was lifted backward. She was nose-bleeding, I supposed, and that seemed like a lot of blood judging from her stained sports uniform.

"Uriel?" I touched her face and she opened her eyes to see me. "Hey..." I whispered.

"Senior Lisa," she exhaled happily.

I could see the revival in her eyes. She must have waited too long for me and I confirmed it when she gripped my hand and began to shed tears. All the emotions she was subduing overflowed at my presence.

"Who did this to you?" I cupped her head but her sobbing state couldn't help her stay still.

"Who was the player?" I turned to the shaking students. "Who kicked the ball?!" I yelled and they all pointed to the bad player.

"I am sorry, senior Lisa," Miriam shook in fear. "I didn't mean to break her nose."

"What? Her nose is broken?" I lowered over to examine Uriel's nose in shock.

She flinched as I touched her nose but thankfully, it wasn't broken. I sighed in relief and turned to Miriam with the most dense 'you-are-a-lucky-being' glare.

"Is it broken?" Rebecca, a classmate, and the sports prefect asked.

"No. A little soar. She will be fine." I confirmed and everyone's stiffened shoulders relaxed.

I may be tagged the most caring and loving by Reverend Sisters in the convent except the students especially the juniors, know I have my moods and uncrossed boundaries. And a situation like this causes no reason to be loving and caring.

"I am sorry," Miriam apologized non-stop.

I looked at her and huffed. I do not have to blame her further, she was only playing for wins, I should spare her.

"You better win," I smiled at her and she nodded. "Go on, take back your positions," I ordered everyone and they gladly ran into the field to resume the match.

"I will see you," Rebecca said to Uriel before blowing her whistle to alert the students of the continuation.

At Louis Nobis, Prefects are active and functioning. While Reverends deal with their rosaries and scapulars, most activities are handled by us.

However, we study harder than you may think. The Reverend sisters endeavor to mark our academic standards accordingly and regulate our morals as the top priority.

Other activities such as sports, labor, and social gatherings rarely interest them, so, they shoulder those sections on the Prefects.

"How do you feel?" I asked Uriel who hadn't stopped squeezing my hand.

She is hurt. The ball must've kicked her hard. She couldn't say that to avoid me going harsher on the bad player, instead, she silently shed more tears.

"Can you walk?"

She nodded but on a thought, I went against her walking.

"I will carry you," I said and squatted before her.

She slid onto my back and I lifted us and walked out of the field.

"Senior," she called after a few walks. "I am still bleeding.

"Keep your head up, okay."

She didn't say a word but I felt her nodding and lifted head on my back.

The students are not surprised at my carrying Uriel; I have lifted as many students as possible to the clinic. To them, it is my normal responsibility as the infirmary prefect. Instead of reading ulterior meaning into it, they abandoned Uriel to my care and focused on the game.

Carrying Uriel isn't my normal responsibility, it is beyond that. I worried about the most important person in my life; the girl I am reserved for and hoping she would see me, not just as a senior and her mentor, but as someone to develop a feeling for.

I lay her down on the clinic bed, extracted the handkerchief her bleeding was clotted with, and cleaned her blood-stained nose with distilled water and cotton wool.

I adjusted the pillow to keep her head lifted and comfortable; brought out a bottle of Silver Nitrate and inserted the applicator stick into her nostrils.

"Still hurting?"

"No, not anymore." She replied warmly. "Thank you."

"I should have been there."

"It is not your fault."

It is. It was my fault she bled too much. I was supposed to be at the field; not necessarily because of Uriel, but because my call as the infirmarian requires I stay within reach during extra-physical activities.

"Senior, Lisa," she called after a brief silence. "Do you serve water here?"

"I will fetch you some. Stay still."

I filled my water bottle with warm water from the dispenser. I took out two tablets of aspirin from the drawer and supported her up to drink.

"I want cold water," she objected after swallowing the tablets.

"Not what you need," I replaced the bottle in her mouth. "Drink up."

My skills in handling minor injuries have improved. I kept incidents in control numerous times until Reverend Sarah intervened. Right now, I know what to do and undo.

Uriel drank enough portion of the water and laid back on the bed.

"You feel severe aches?" After seconds of staring at each other without talking, I asked and she shook her head.

"Are you hungry?"

She shook her head again.

"Tired?"

She nodded this time, and I smiled.

"Do you want to sleep?"

"Can I?"

"Go ahead."

"The match is still on."

"Who cares about the match?"

She smiled, nodded, and shut her eyes. I watched her for a few minutes, and after affirming she had fallen asleep, I rose from the bed and resumed cleaning the medical tools.

I should return to the field, but since I have a special patient, I will be partial and stay here and only trust Gabby to appear at any need. Although she may not scream or run this time, she will surely find me.

The long cleaning and arranging of the tools left me exhausted and I opted for a short rest on the table. A few minutes into my nap, I felt a shadow on my face and when I opened my eyes, Uriel was staring closely at me, and because she didn't expect my sudden awakening, she gasped and stumbled to the floor.

"I am sorry," she stammered. "I was..."

There is nothing that would bring me joy than having her admiring me.

"Are you alright?" I stretched up while she sat on the floor.

"I was ensuring you aren't cold," she explained.

I knew it. How would Uriel admire someone she sees only as her senior?

"Why?" I assisted her up. "Do I look freezing?"

Despite the chilly room, I am not the cold type. I am so hot-blooded that I can sleep naked in an air-conditioned room.

"You were snoring," she said in a low tone and my embarrassment transcended.

"I wasn't." I wiped the corners of my mouth for any possible drool.

"You were."

"I was humming a song," I defended to her laughter.

"What song?"

"Credo in Deum."

I hummed, causing her a louder laugh, and I sat admiring the most beautiful girl before me.

At fourteen, Uriel has developed into a woman. Bigger than her classmates and prettier than everyone in school.

It was a blessing I was chosen to be her school mentor; that way, I grew close to her without having to impress my way into her life like the others are trying to do.

However, she is extremely introverted and deadly shy. She talked to no one, mingled with no one, and expressed herself before anyone but me.

"I can't do it, Senior Lisa." She said when I tried talking to her about making friends. "I don't feel comfortable with anyone."

"You must practice. You need friends."

"I am okay with you. I don't need anyone else."

And I don't need her close to anyone else. I love that I am the only one seeing her entire cute side because of that, I no longer try to persuade her to make a few more friends.

She doesn't need anyone else. She needs just me and I am enough for her.