My name is Jasamina McCully and I am twenty years old.
Two years ago, my parents forced me to marry a rich congressman named Ludale McCully. A forty-five year old man that turned out to be the most abusive man on the whole planet.
"To save my family from poverty." My mother had said to me as she pushed me to marry the forty-five year old man. I was crying and begging my parents but they didn't listen. I was just a means to an end.
He abused and beat me within an inch of my life for the past two years. Everytime I get the chance, I try to escape and every single time he finds me.
Then, he punishes me for ever trying to leave. The punishment is always worst than death. Because of that, I never tried to escape again.
My name is Jasamina and I am a girl afraid of her husband because I know what he can do. But I'm also a mother.
After giving birth to my baby two months ago and loving him with my whole life...I know a time will come when I have to choose between being scared of my husband or trying to survive with my little boy.
The time came soon.
It's either to survive or die by Dale's hand.
I made the choice to TRY and survive.
It's just that sometimes...even choices are against you. Sometimes, even the choice can be taken from you.
My name is Jasamina McCully.
And this is the story of my life.
JASAMINA.
I feel like I'm dying.
I sprawled there on the floor, my whole body hurting so bad, painful moans erupting from my throat. It hurts to talk. It hurts to breathe.
It hurts. Period.
This must be what it feels like to be hit and grinded by moving train. Only the train is Ludale, my husband.
I held my breath as I heard the door open and close. I released the painful breath I was holding. He has gone out.
I have to go now! I have to escape now! I don't care if he finds me again....I don't care about the consequence of escaping. Not this time.
The scream of a little child jolted me into movement. My little boy is awake and I have to get to him, I thought as tears streames down my face.
"Arh..." I cried as I pushed my bruised body up from the floor. I winced as I limped my way to my two-months-old baby boy, Jaimie.
I picked up my bawling baby from the sofa, shushing him to keep him quiet. We have to leave now that Dale just walked out!
I limped my way from the sitting room of the big house to the bedroom. Luckily, Jaimie laid on the bed without crying as I packed the necessarily things I need to be on the road.
Baby diapers. Bottle and formula. Jaimie's quilt. The few dollar bills I have on me. A few clothes.
The bag was filled in no time and I swung it up my shoulder, all the while hoping Dale doesn't come back yet. Oh God, let him not be back!
My body hurts so bad but I managed to carry my baby and the bag. I limped my way out of the house.
I have no destination.
Not a lot of money.
Just my baby and I.
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TWO DAYS LATER.
My mouth quivered and tears filled my eyes. I feel so sick, I can barely keep my eyes open...but that is not my problem.
Jaimie's cries filled the evening's air. His face was all red, his arms and legs restless.
I had taken countless buses and trains to arrive in this town that I am. Valleyland, a town I've never heard of before. So far away...and yet not far enough.
I am huddled in a small abandoned tent I've taken up as a temporary home.
I can still remember the news....
***Young flighty wife of the congressman ran away with her infant, leaving the congressman heartbroken and fanatic with worry because she is mentally sick and unable to care for the child. The police are out looking for her. Three million dollars for anybody with valuable information on where to find her and four million dollars for anybody that can turn her in. You will be saving the life of an infant and a caring father.***
Everyone is looking for me. Dale. My parents. The police. The citizens. Everyone.
I can't go anywhere. I can't get a job. My breast barely produces milk because of all the beatings on my body and Jaimie's formula has finished. The money has finished too.
I can't remember the last time I ate but I have to feed my baby. I have to!
I carried him in my arching arms. Baring a plump bruised breast from the confinement of my blouse, I directed it to his mouth and he laced on it with the usual enthusiasm of a hungry baby.
Each tug of his mouth caused me pain as he drew on it hungrily, suckling desperately. He tore his lips away and screeched in a loud voice.
"Oh... God!" I cried out, tears filling my eyes.
Scared that he'll draw attention to this secluded place I am, and terrified that he's not eating much, I bundled him up again into my shirt and headed out of the tent.
I dragged my foot as much as I could, feeling so dizzy I can barely keep my eyes open. My baby already fell into an exhausted sleep.
Food, Jaime needs food.
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"Please....give me some...money..." I begged the next woman that crossed the street. I've been at it for several minutes.
The woman ignored me without a sideways glance, just like the others.
I've stuck to women for minutes now but I'm getting desperate. I have no choice, I have to go to where men are drinking. I have to get money from them, even if it means.....
I dragged my step forward when a strong arm caught on my coat. Frightened, I looked up to see the owner of such arm.
He was big. Slumped to one side. Dirty hair. Dirty clothes. Mustache covered half of his face. Like me, he covered himself in a coat too, so I couldn't see much. But his grip on my arm was strong.
A drunkard. He was a drunkard.
It made me wonder...why will a drunkard stop me?
Please....give me some...money..." I begged the next woman that crossed the street. I've been at it for several minutes.
The woman ignored me without a sideways glance, just like the others.
I've stuck to women for minutes now but I'm getting desperate. I have no choice, I have to go to where men are drinking. I have to get money from them, even if it means.....
My eyes squeezed closed at the dreadful thought. And-
I bumped into a wall. Not not a wall, a man.
A drunkard. He's a drunkard.
He was big. Slumped to one side. Dirty hair. Dirty clothes. Mustache covered half of his face. Like me, he covered himself in a coat too, so I couldn't see much.
"Sorry...! I'm so s-sorry...!" My voice was hoarse as I apologized.
Then, I dragged my step forward. But, a strong arm caught on my coat. Frightened, I looked up to see the owner of such arm.
I tried to pull my arm away but he didn't release his grip. It remained strong.
It made me wonder...why will a drunkard stop me?
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"Take this..." The drunkard said to me, his voice hoarse and scratch like gravel. Sounds like a voice that hasn't been used in a while.
I stared at the notes in his hand. I didn't stop to wonder why this drunkard with filthy clothes will help me, instead I snatched the dollar notes from his outstretched hand.
"Thank you. Thank you so much!" My relief so profound that tears filled my eyes.
He didn't answer. Instead, he shuffled past me, his staggering steps loud on the cool pavement. He snapped his head to the sky, swung the bear bottle to his lips and drank a mouthful as he continued walking.
Jaimie wiggled under my clothes, drawing my attention away from the kind drunkard. I tightened my arm around my baby, shaking my head with force repeatedly to shave off the dizziness I was feeling.
I turned and walked away, pulling my coat closer to my face to cover half of my face and hide my identity.
I bought baby bottle and formula from the nearest store, ignoring the quizzical eyes the clerks were giving me, I made my way out.
Hours later, I've fed my baby and I've eaten something too.
Since I can't afford to be in one place for a long time, I continued my journey.
THREE DAYS LATER.
I don't have the slightest idea where I am. Only a few dollars is remaining from the money an older woman gave me last night. I've lost track of how many busses I've entered and how many rides I've hitched.
I long for a nice bath. I long to breathe without feeling pains. My whole body feels like one big bruise.
Jaimie was sleeping in my arms as I walked without a destination. I only sleep wherever I find myself.
My legs arching really bad now, and trembling so well, I feared that my leg will give out. I'm on the road and I can't afford to pass out here because someone might take my child.
I have to keep walking. I have to.
TANNER
Beer. I need another one.
I staggered my way through the long road, my eyes barely clear. Hell, I'm starting to think. I'm not supposed to be thinking at all. That's why I need more beer.
I froze with the whiskey bottle midway to his lips. Even in the poor light of the evening a girl at the other side of the road caught my dazed eyes. The familiar coat cannot be mistaken.
It's the girl with the baby. The same girl.
Even from the distance and my blurred vision, I saw her milk white face, her eyes huge splashes of darkness and fear. She was trembling real hard with her hand tightened on the bundle of her coat which I already know is her baby.
I'm a lot of miles away from Valleyland and I see her again. She is not my problem.
Is she homeless? Is she on the run? Who begs on the street at such age and with such small child?
Not my problem, I decided again. I have two priorities in life now.
One. Drink a beer and get drunk.
Two. Stay sane long enough to buy a new bottle that'll replace the finished one.
I stumbled my way pass the girl, swinging the beer and groaning as it burned down my throat. I just passed her when I heard a loud thud on the ground.
I turned to see the girl sprawled at the ground. Even in her fall, she still held the bundled baby protectively to her belly. She has passed out.
"Not my problem." I reminded myself as I turned to keep walking but somehow, I can't get my drunk body to move forward.
"This is such a bad idea." I tried to convince myself. I just took a step forward when two male voices behind me made me stop again.
"She's so beautiful." One growled.
"Passed out cold, the wee one is." The other one said, then he lowered his voice. "Let's get her to one of those abandoned buildings and...you know...."
I snorted disgustedly at their plans but I took anothet step forward, determined not to interfere. She's not my problem.
"Alright, let's go." The first man said behind me.
Shit. I whirled around to face them. They were already trying to carry her up from the ground.
"Leave her alone." I meant for the words to come out stern, but they slurred out.
One of the scoffed, "Stupid drunkard. Better be on your way." He scolded.
There was a time in my life when people like him can't stand where I'm standing. Or speak when I'm speaking....talk more of talking back at me this way.
Keep the past buried, man, I scolded myself. I really really don't want to fight this two because it'll sober me up. Don't wanna get sober.
"Can't you see she has a baby? Leave her alone." I bit out again.
"Don't mind the drunkard. Help me let's lift her." The other one said.
That was how I found myself fighting the both of them, leaving them all bloodied and they had to run away.
I know you're wondering how a drunk slob like me managed to beat them to stupor and send them running, but I'll spare you the details.
Trust me, you don't want to know about me. Even if you do...I'll never tell.