THE CEO´S SNOWBOUND DESIRE

Sometimes, and only sometimes, my brain feels like it is in another time frame, like it can receive frequencies from a world that is not before my eyes, a world with a very different time frame than this one. Fleeting flashes reach my eyes like the light from a camera flash and after that brief sensation fades I am back here again. Afraid of an uncertain future and the storm that is brewing for me and only me. After him. My imbecile ex...

_ I didn't mean for it to happen, Prudence. I swear!

"You didn't mean for it to happen! You didn't mean to put your-" My words crumble with my sobs. I can barely see Abraham's face through my tears. Tears that haven't stopped since I ran into my bedroom earlier today. Tears that have left my skin raw and tight. And every time I think I'm crying, the image of Abraham and her flashes inside my head and a new wave hits. I wipe my dripping nose against the sleeve of my sweatshirt. I'm way past the point of caring about how I look.

_ Who is she, anyway?

_Nobody important.

She wipes her tears away with the palm of her hand and then reaches up to my face, cupping my cheeks.

_ You are my whole life. You have always been my whole life. Always! Do you know that well? Tell me you know that!

I swallow against the sharp lump lodged in my throat, but it doesn't budge. I knew that. Until today.

_ So why do you break my heart?

His handsome face twitches as if I've slapped him. Something he wishes he had the courage to do.

_ You weren't supposed to find out. Oh my god!

_ Does that make it better?

_ No, that's not what I'm saying.

He hangs his head for a moment.

_ Look, we're getting married next year and then it'll be just you and me. It's been just you and me all these years. And, _ he swallows, hesitates, _this is something I've been thinking about. A lot lately.

_ About cheating on me?

_No! About, you know..._ He shudders. _Sex.

_ Is that what this is all about? Why didn't you tell me? I wish...

_ No, Prudence.

Abraham's face is suddenly stern.

_ You and I, we're doing it the right way by waiting until we're husband and wife. You're so innocent. So pure.

He leans forward, pressing his forehead against mine.

_ It means everything to me that you gave me that on our wedding night. But...- a shy look takes over her face- I'm a boy. It's different for me.

_ How is it different? Who is this person sitting in front of me?

_ Because we're weak! This is something I need to do. I need to get this out of my system, or I'm afraid I'll make a mistake down the road, when it really matters. Trust me this time. You don't want me to stray later on, when we have kids, do you?

I am listening, but I am not believing these words coming out of Abraham's mouth.

_ So we're breaking up?

_No.

He frowns.

_ Not exactly. We're just taking a little break, okay? Just until I can get my head together. But we're meant to be, you and me _ He brushes strands of hair out of my face, like he's done a thousand times _ I'll come back to you. I promise.

I'm so angry and hurt that I can't even face him anymore, so I fix my eyes on the tiny gumball machine promise ring he gave me for my sixteenth birthday, my sobs drowning out the rest of his words.

PRESENT

"Look directly into the camera when you answer questions," the woman commands, her cool blue irises piercing behind a pair of trendy, horn-rimmed glasses. Between that, her honey-blonde bun, fitted black business suit, and four-inch heels, she could pass for one of those librarian/strippers instead of a corporate recruiter. I adjust my handy round, gold-wire-framed glasses. "Okay." She readies the iPhone sitting in the stand to record while I fidget on my stool, tucking unruly strands of my ginger hair behind my ear and smoothing out wrinkles in my shirt. I didn't come dressed for a videotaped interview. I thought this job fair would be like any other; I'd wander around a few basic booths, collect a few brochures, and talk to reps who wanted to be anywhere but a Chicago library on a Saturday. For the most part, that's what it is. But the Star Hotel booth is different. It's three times the size of the others, with smartly dressed recruiters and an on-site interview station behind a screen, to help speed up the hiring process for those who meet the basic criteria. And the only reason I made the basic criteria is because I lied on the paper application I filled out twenty minutes ago. Now I'm petrified of getting caught.

_Full name, please.

I've always hated being in front of the camera. I clear my throat nervously.

_ Prudence Rose White. But my friends call me Prue," I hasten to add. "My mom calls me Prudence, and everyone else in my hometown calls me Prudence after my mom. I never liked it." The interviewer is stone-faced. She doesn't care what you prefer to call me, but my nerves make me talk too much.

_ The position you are applying for?

_ Outdoor maintenance and landscaping? I think that was the official title on the application form.

_ And describe your experience that will be invaluable to us, Prudence.

_It's Prue. _ I force my biggest smile and hope my annoyance doesn't show in the video when they play it later. _Of course. Well, first of all, I love the outdoors. I grew up on a farm and have spent years baling hay, pulling sacks of grain, and hauling buckets of water for the animals. So don't worry, I'm pretty strong.

People don't think I am. My short five foot five stature is deceiving, but one look at my frame in shorts and a tank top will attest that I am feminine yet honed with muscle from long days on the White farm. _I've already provided all of this information on the hand-written application form, but I'm assuming you want the live version as well. _I ran my own landscaping company for five years, operating out of Greenbank, Pennsylvania, maintaining commercial properties with excellence. _I've been pulling dandelions and cutting grass around my little town every summer since I was fourteen. Calling what I do "landscaping" is a farce. But if I get this job, so far from my life, I'll say anything.

_ Were any of these properties hotels?

_ Yes _ Never say "no" in an interview. Always find a way to turn it into a yes.

_ Please tell me about these hotels.

Shit. And there it is. I've never been a good liar.

_ There was just one, actually. It's called the Inn. It's... a luxury bed and breakfast. Three rooms in an old Victorian house, run by Perry and Wendy Rhodes. I hear one of the rooms is decorated with a cat theme. Cat wallpaper, cat pillows. Cats, everywhere.

From the way the woman's red-painted lips are pursed, I'm pretty sure my answer isn't the one she was looking for.

_Okay. Thanks. I also see here that you worked weekends serving customers at a place called La Perla for several years.

_Yes. That's my aunt's restaurant. I helped her out during the peak season. _ I was hesitant to use Aunt May as a reference. I can't be sure she'd give me a glowing recommendation if it means I won't be returning to Greenbank during the summer. Mom would kick her butt if she ever found out she helped make that happen.

_ What type of establishment is it?

_ A family restaurant.

_ So it's not a good reference, it's not a hotel?

I sigh.

_No. I wouldn't call it that. Putting together hot turkey sandwiches and pouring Coca-Cola from a fountain isn't a good reference.

"And have you ever cleaned houses professionally?" "No," she says, watching me shake my head fervently, my face twisting in disdain at even the suggestion. "That means dealing with fitted sheets all day, and that seems like torture to me." "I see you've done receptionist work, too."

Finally, something I can answer truthfully and positively.

_ Yes. I have worked part-time at my church office for years. I still do, when I go home for the summer.

_ What exactly did you do for them?

_ I answered phones and made appointments for the Reverend. I also balanced the church books and organized the annual Corn Roast weekend for our parish.

Something I don't dare do again this summer, but my mother and the Reverend will force me to do it if I return to Greenbank.

She scans my application _I see you're in school right now_ She pauses and I realize I'm supposed to reply to her.

_ Yes. I have one more year in a bachelor of arts degree.

The right side of my face is burning from the heat of the lamp. I imagine this is what an interrogation feels like. How much longer is this going to take?

_ Can you commit to the four-month contract, from May to August?

_ North Gate College starts in September and exams end at the end of this month, so that won't be a problem.

She smiles.

"Okay. So what are your plans for after college, Prue?" My face falls before I can control my expression. That question catches me off guard. She's talking about next summer, and all I can focus on is spending today, tomorrow, and this summer. Ideally in Alaska. Is this where I'm supposed to lie and say I aspire to a career at Star Hotel? I debate my answer for a few seconds and finally settle on the truth.

"Honestly, I'm not sure anymore. I was supposed to get married and help run the family farm, but my fiancé and I are..." I pause with a deep breath and then an embarrassed little smile. So inappropriate for an interview. "My personal situation is in limbo," I say instead, my voice growing hoarse, my eyes burning with the threat of tears. It's all still too fresh, too raw. "I'll probably go back home. My family is there."

"And help run the farm?" Her eyes flick over me, over my thick braid that I can't help but play with when I'm nervous, over my favorite royal blue blouse that's probably been washed one too many times, over my generic jeans and down to my Converse, and I know she's judging me. I sit up straighter, feeling more self-conscious than I already do in front of a camera. I look nothing like her or any of the other recruiters here. They're all together, with soft, richly colored hair and perfectly painted faces. I don't wear much makeup; just a little lip gloss and occasionally a bright pink nail polish. I don't use hairspray and have never touched a drop of dye for fear of making the color worse than it already is.

_Yes. _That's always been the plan. But now I feel like I need to stand up for myself. I'm not just another farm girl, getting ready to bake cakes and pop little farm babies. _I started a side business making soaps, moisturizers, and essential oils a few years ago. It's called Sage Oils. I'm going to focus on expanding that. _Sage is my favorite herb, though my products include everything from peppermint to lavender to lemon. Up to this point, the bulk of my sales have been thanks to the annual Christmas bazaar and summer fair. I can't complain, though; that money will pay for my flight to Alaska, should Star hire me.

_Wow, you are quite the enterprising young lady. And so busy. Landscaping and soap making businesses, college, farming..._ I can't read the woman's tone to tell if she's actually impressed. _And what do you do for fun, Prue?_ I bite my bottom lip to keep from saying "Umm" as I think. Star Hotel is one of the most elegant hotel lines in the world. I need to sound smart if I have any hope of landing this job.

_ As you may have noticed, I'm pretty busy with work and school. When I have free time, I spend it with my family and with my church, strengthening my faith _ Which is in a bit of risky water as of late. _ I also volunteer at the local animal shelter, both here in Chicago and at home.

_ So you like animals?

_Yes!_ I nod emphatically. _I'm excited to see the wild nature of Alaska.

She gives me a tight smile.

_ Right. Last question. Why should we hire you to work at Star Cove in Alaska? I look at the brochure in my hand: pictures of white-capped mountains and vast wilderness, glacial valleys and volcanoes. Thousands of miles of serenity, of nothing. Thousands of miles from my current life. They don't want to hear my sob story, and they sure as hell won't get me hired. I fight a smile as I stare into the camera, silently pleading with my eyes to whoever is making the hiring decisions.

_ Because I am smart, hard-working, diligent, and ethical. I respect people and love a challenge. Plus, I've always wanted to visit Alaska, and this seems like an amazing once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. _ I clear my throat. _ I have nothing to distract my attention. I'll give Star Cove everything I have to offer this summer.

She presses a button and steps around.

_ Excellent. Thank you. We will be in touch.

_ When are you going to make your decisions? _ It's the beginning of April; I'd be flying out in four weeks if I get hired.

_ Soon. We have already filled many of the positions from our current Star employee pool who are interested in the Alaska location. We are just plugging some last minute holes with outside recruiting.

Put my application in a red folder. Is that the rejection file?

_ Do I have a chance? Honestly.

I can't believe I asked that, but I have nothing to lose.

_ We tend to hire people who already have experience in luxury hotel chains. But we will stay in touch.

She stands there with her arm leading the way to the exit. My shoulders slump. I force myself to leave before I beg her to put in a good word for me. There's no way I'm getting this job.

I inhale deeply, reveling in the fresh ocean air as land draws closer. Chicago was in the seventies when I left this morning. Two layovers, a flight delay, and fifteen hours later, the fifty-five degree day has dropped to forty and I had to dig my winter jacket out of my suitcase.

"Have you ever been to Alaska before?" the captain asks, a soft-spoken, gray-haired man named John, his hands resting comfortably on the ferry's wheel. I shake my head, my gaze drifting over the sea of evergreens and rock as far as the eye can see. We left the Alaska dock thirty minutes ago. It didn't seem like it would take that long to cross, but Kachemak Bay is vast and wide and unlike anything I've ever seen. And on the other side is my home for the next four months. I'm so glad I remembered to take an Antivert an hour before boarding. I'd be throwing up all over the rails if I hadn't. Boats and I have never coexisted well.

_ So, what made you come?

I can say that John likes to talk, both to converse and to evaluate the foreigners who come to his homeland.

"A pamphlet," I answer simply, honestly. He laughs.

_Yes, it will do that, all right. It draws a lot of people our way. I smile, though his words echo inside me. It "drew" me. Yes, that's exactly what it did. Frankly, the flyer didn't need too much work. When things get bad, people always say they're going to pick up and move far away. Australia, France, anywhere that puts an ocean between them and their problems. Most never act on it. I certainly had no intention of doing so. And then I went to that job fair at the city library, more than a little scared about what I was going to do this summer. The recruiters were selling administrative and counseling positions, business internships, daycare. Nothing that interested me. Plus, they were all local positions in Chicago. The last thing I wanted to do was stay in Chicago for the summer. I needed to separate myself from him and his bitter memories, if only for a few months until school started again in the fall. But the idea of going back to Pennsylvania, where everyone, including the cows, had heard the nitty-gritty details of my breakup with Abraham, was even less appealing. That's what happens when you grow up in a small town and then go off to college with your high school boyfriend, who also happens to be the son of the reverend, who you were supposed to marry the summer after you both graduated from college. Who you've been saving yourself for. Who you caught with his pants down and pushing a black-haired jezebel. And, while you're in the depths of despair, even though you know better, you tell your upstanding church-going mother, who's known around town for both her raspberry pie and her big mouth. That scandal sure gave the people of Greenbank something to talk about during the long, cold Pennsylvania winter. It's been months since D-Day, or what I like to call Dick Day, when I caught him. February 2, to be exact. I'm sure tongues were wagging in the pews during the church service. When I visited over Easter weekend, though, I got nothing but sympathetic nods and pats. Abraham, sitting in the pew directly across from us, earned more than a few glares. Not everyone shared those feelings, though. His father, Reverend Enderbey, decided that giving a sermon on man's weakness to carnal flesh and the need for forgiveness and understanding would be more appropriate than discussing Christ's resurrection that day. Just as Abraham promised me, Reverend Enderbey promised my parents that this is just a momentary blip in Abraham's faith; that he's confused and needs to get his priorities straight. He'll come back to me, after he's finished sowing his wild oats. Why does everyone think I'll want to take him back? He broke my heart that day, and he's continued to break it every day, every time I see him walking hand-in-hand across campus with her. He's not just sowing wild oats. They're coming out now. So when I walked by the Star Hotels booth at the job fair a month ago and saw the brochure with a gorgeous view of snow-capped mountains and forests, I immediately stopped and started asking questions, and within ten minutes I knew that Star Cove was my ticket away from the blues, at least temporarily. I just needed to get to Alaska. They would provide transportation to the hotel, subsidized lodging and meals on-site, and weekly transportation to Homer, if needed, and I would work like a dog and keep my mind occupied. The best part? It was almost 3,800 miles from everything I know. It sounded perfect. And unattainable. I walked out of that interview feeling hopeless, assuming there was no way I was going to get the job. And yet, I'm standing here today. I call that divine intervention. God knew I needed this miracle.

It came in the form of a phone call a week after the interview, with an official offer for a position on the Landscaping and Maintenance team. I screamed. I even shed a few happy tears, which was a nice change from all the sad tears I'd shed since February. Knowing I could avoid Greenbank, Abraham, and my family, that I'd be leaving my dorm the day after my last exam and getting on a plane... that's the only reason I've stuck it out this long. The ferry turns left to run along the coast, further into the bay.

_ What are those places over there? Do people live here? _ I point towards the small cabins that dot the shore, camouflaged among the trees.

_ No. They are mostly hostels and cabin rentals.

I study structures, like yurts on stilts overlooking the water.

_ They are nice. Rustic.

_They are, in fact. Although not like Star Cove. _ John laughs softly, shaking his head.

_ Not exactly.

If the pictures in the brochure are at all accurate. My mom is convinced that everything is computer generated, that nothing that luxurious would exist in Alaska. That I will end up contracting West Nile virus from the thick fog of mosquitoes, or that I will wake up in the rickety shack I sleep in to find a bear biting my leg. To say that Bernadette White is not happy about this job in Alaska is an understatement. At first she told me flat out that she couldn't go. I hung up on her that night, the first time I had ever done that. Probably the first time anyone had ever had the nerve to hang up on a woman like her. I half expected her to drive the nine hours and pat me on the head. Two days later, when she had calmed down, she called me and tried to persuade me. I was making a grave mistake by leaving Greenbank and Abraham. We would be far away from the chaos of Chicago and the temptations that caused Abraham to stray. We would have each other, day in and day out, and I could remind her why we are so perfect together. I know it's not going to be that simple. So I held my ground. I've been "good girl Prue" all my life, sitting next to my parents at church service every Sunday, in the company of like-minded people, staying away from the "bad boys" who drank and smoked pot and had sex. Always listening to Mom. Maybe if I had spread my legs for Abraham, my heart wouldn't have broken into a thousand pieces. While she is my Mom and I know she wants the best for me, she also thinks Abraham and I belong together, and that our reunion is inevitable, once he gets "the devil" out of his system. I had to bite my tongue before pointing out to her that the girl currently sucking Abraham's cock is a major obstacle in this impending reconciliation of ours. I stare at the approaching buildings, my excitement triumphing over my exhaustion.

_ Where is?

_ Star Cove is just around the corner. Star Cove Hotel in Star Cove, Alaska.

_ How do you go about changing the name of a town, anyway?

John laughs softly again. He's such a nice man.

_The town has been Star Cove for hundreds of years. The Star family has a lot of history up here, with the gold mines. That's where they made their first fortune. Although I'm sure they could afford to rename it, if it came to that. They're a lot of success. Generous, too. Man, to be part of that family. They must have a lot of money, to risk opening a location like this up here, and put their employees in the way they're doing for us, and all the benefits.

_ Hey, thanks for coming back for me. I didn't want to stay in a motel.

It's just John and I on the ferry, and a deck full of boxes and supplies. He was kind enough to make another trip across the bay and pick me up after my flight was delayed. Apparently he loaded a full load of college-aged employees a few hours ago.