Survivor: Where We Were

"Emmett, we have been together for six years. What happened now?" Donna's voice trembled as she spoke. Her eyes filled with leashed tears. She couldn't put her finger on what exactly went wrong. They were supposed to get married in three months – everything was going smoothing until Emmett decided to break it up with her. When he asked her to talk to her after dinner with her friends – she never thought it would be about breaking up. She believed it was about the venue or anything regarding the wedding but this.

When Emmett didn't answer her back and kept his head down – not even making an eye contact with her she sniffed, "Talk to me, honey. Why are you doing this? If – if the wedding planning is stressing you out – we can postpone it but please don't break it off." She pleaded. She was desperate – she thought they were in love.

Emmett sighed. He knew he will have to face all the questions but he has been preparing himself for a month – he feels like a jerk for break it off just three months prior to the wedding but it is better to be late than marrying the wrong person. Donna wasn't the wrong person for him but he is for her. How could he marry somebody he doesn't even love?

"It is not the wedding, " He spoke after a long pause. He blew his cheeks out and held her cold hands. He finally looked into her tears eyes before he spoke, "Donna, you have been there for me when I really needed you. These past five years have been very difficult for me and you helped me through the mental and physical pain I went through and I can never repay you for your love and care, but there is something missing between us." He said softly. Donna looked down for a second before she looked back at him and asked, "What is missing between us?" She asked almost desperately. "Love, " He replied.

"But, I love you with all my heart, Emmett – I really do, " She said as tears fell off her eyes. When Emmett didn't answer her back she gulped painfully, "But you don't, " she whispered. She let out a shaky breath when Emmett didn't oppose. She sighed and pulled her hand from his, "I was afraid that this day would come." She said. She mashed her lips, "I tried everything, Emmett. I asked you to move to New York with me because I didn't think you would be able to move on back in New Orleans." She said.

Emmett nodded, "I know you did, but maybe it was what didn't work for me. Donna, for the past five years I have been living like a coward hiding from my friends and family – pretending to be okay, but in reality, I miss it. I miss them." He replied. "I should have been with them in hard times but instead I ran away." He added.

Donna paused and intertwined her fingers, "Do you blame me for that?" She asked. Emmett shook his head immediately, "No, but I do blame myself." He replied. Donna sighed, "You know, it wasn't your fault, right? You were as affected as them." She expressed. Emmett chuckled drily, "Yet they stick together while I ran away, " He replied.

Donna was hurting – she has been dreaming to marry Emmett since they came to New York five years ago. She never thought she would have to see this day. She sniffed and wipe off her tears before he hunched forward, "Emmett, can you be completely honest with me?" She asked. He looked at her and slowly nodded his head, "Did you ever love me?" She asked me. Emmett pressed his lips together, "I still do, Donna but not as –" Donna interrupted him, "No, not that. Just tell me truthfully if you ever loved me or not? Not as a friend or as someone you deeply care about." She said.

Emmett sighed, "Honestly – I don't know." He replied after a pause. Donna nodded, "You never did." She said dejectedly. "Is it someone else? Is it that girl from New Orleans? Are you planning to go back for her?" She asked. Emmett immediately reckoned she was talking about Leah so, he shook his head, "I never had and I don't think I ever will." He replied. She sniggered and wiped off the fresh tears from her cheek, "It hurts, you know." She spoke softly.

Emmett tried to speak but Donna shook her head, "I can't do this right now, " Her voice wobbled. She mashed her lips, "Can you please leave me alone?" She asked him. Emmett hesitated but decided to give her some space – he just called off their wedding and ended a six-year-long relationship with her. She has every right to be angry with him. He nodded his head and walked out of the room before glancing towards weeping Donna. He walked out of their house and took a deep breath.

Although he is aware of how much he hurt her – he couldn't possibly marry her when he knows he could never keep her happy. He was the wrong person for her and he had to call off the wedding before he could hurt her more by pretending to be in love with her. Five years ago he left his life behind to be with Donna thinking he was in love with him, but it was all in his head. He actually never wanted to leave – Donna did and at that time he thought it would better to get away from the place that only brings bad memories, so he did. Little did he know, he couldn't live a single day when he didn't think about it.

Everything was perfectly okay for him until him along with his close friends and many of other young adults from his university were in the shooting incident. He lost three of his closest friends and one of those friends was the shooter. His physical wounds might have healed but he couldn't remove the painful memories of that horrifying day. Seventeen young adults were killed. Many along with his close friends were injured. Several lives were changed. Everyone stayed together and tried to live their lives except for him – Donna asked him to come to New York with her and he agreed – leaving his friends and family behind. For the last five years, he doesn't know what has been happening with his friends – where they are or what are they up to. He completely cut off with them, trying to start anew. He talks to his mother now and then but he hasn't visited her in the last five years. He has decided to get back to his hometown. He couldn't live like this anymore.

Few days after in New Orleans, Austin was working on the latest project he has to advertise in the coming month when his phone rang. He glances at it – thinking about ignoring it but when he saw Macy's name – he decided to receive it even when he is quite busy. He leaned back to his office chair and answered the call, "Hey, Macy. How are you?" He asked.

Macy Hayes, his ex-best friend's mother. She has always been like a second mother to him. Emmett and Austin were inseparable friends since childhood. Their mothers were friends and neighbor and so were they. After Emmett's father died they became closer but after the incident that took place five years ago – Emmett decided to leave and they both haven't talked since then.

"Hello, dear – am I disturbing you?" She asked. Although he was interrupted, he was too polite to point it out and shook his head as he chuckled, "No, you didn't." He said. "Is everything okay?" he asked.

"I don't know where to start from?" Macy stated. Austin knitted his eyebrows together, "What is it, Macy?" He asked concernedly. Macy sighed, "Emmett called." She replied after a short pause. Austin's mood often gets sour when someone mentions Emmett's name. Leaving New Orleans was one thing but completely cutting Austin and other's out of his life was something that has dented their friendship – or if it can be called that now. The days he went in a relationship with Donna – their friendships started to get bumpy. She was controlling him and he was letting her. They even fought a few times because of her and since the incident, he completely cut himself off from all of his old friends – and it sabotaged everything.

"Alright, " Austin replied short. Since Emmett doesn't want to do anything with him – Austin isn't interested in what was going on with him either. "I think you might you want to know this, " Macy added. Austin sighed and replied, "Alright, what is it?" He asked.

"Emmett is coming back, " Her wobbled. Austin was shocked to hear what he was being told. "He called this morning to let me know that he coming home. Oh, Austin – I am so happy." He could hear emotions flowing off her voice – she had every right to – her only son was coming home.

"Are you sure you want to go?" Alesha asked Leah as she sits on her bed. Leah rolled her eyes and sighed, "For the tenth time – yes, I am sure." Leah replied. Alesha shrugged, "Alright, " She replied short. Being Alesha's best friend since third grade, Leah doesn't need to hear the words from Alesha to know how much she disproves of her idea of attending Emmett's twentieth birthday party in Mississippi. She put the black fitted dress on her bed and sat on the bed in front of Alesha – who was going through Leah's jewelry box.

Alesha glanced at her friend sitting in front of her, but she doesn't say a word and keep looking for matching earring for Leah to wear.

When Alesha didn't speak, Leah rolled her eyes. "I know you think it is a bad idea, but how can I not go when he himself invited me? And also, I completely over him, " She waves her hand dismissively at which Alesha raised her eyebrow as she looks at her friend. Leah knows that just lied to her friend and she also knows that Alesha doesn't buy her lies. "Leah, you are going to hurt yourself, " Alesha said to her. "I am sorry I am being so blunt to you right now, but you need to hear this." She continued, "Emmett made it very clear last year that he isn't into you – he even has a girlfriend, for God sakes. His girlfriend is arranging the party – a party that his girlfriend is throwing for him at her father's beach house." She emphasized.

Leah sighed and got up from the bed, "Well, I am not the only one going – everyone Emmett knows will be there. Austin is going as well – then why is it so bad to go when he invited me?" She tried to reason. Alesha rolled her eyes, "Your brother isn't in love with Emmett, Leah and besides that Austin and Emmett are best friends – of course, he will go. And please – he didn't actually invite you, you just happen to be there when he told Austin about the party and he asked you out of courtesy – not because he really wants you there. I hardly doubt that he will be expecting you to be there." Alesha's words were hurtful for Leah.

Leah scowled, "Alesha if you can't support then don't undermine me either. I am just going because he invited me and we will be staying there for a night – I am sick and tired of college and work – I just need a weekend of fun and that's what I am going to do – I am going to have fun at his birthday party." She replied to her friend. Alesha waved her hand in the air, "Fine, but don't come crying when you see Donna and Emmett together." Alesha said hotly before she walked out on Leah.

Leah blew her cheeks out before she picks her bathing suit from the bed in her hand before putting it back and sitting beside the unpacked small bag she is supposed to take with her. Alesha and Leah often have such fights – it was regular for them. They will be fine – Leah knows, but Alesha said to her lingers in her mind. Alesha has been warning her for the longest time to try to move on from Emmett. Leah knows that Emmett doesn't feel the same for her – he made it clear when he politely turned her down last year, but still, she had a hope somewhere in her that one day Emmett might see how much she likes him.

Leah doesn't know when she actually fell for Emmett. She can't tell the time when she realized she was in love with him. She can't tell the exact day either. Her love for him piled up a little bit little since they met when she was nine and he was ten. He has always been caring towards her. He has always been supportive, gentle and warm to her that she could help but plunge into his loving nature and before she could process – she was in love with him.

Her brother, Austin knows about it too, but he doesn't know that Emmett had turned her down once – Leah asked Emmett not to tell him. She knows how much best of the friends they are – she doesn't want to ruin it. Alesha can judge her all she wants, but she doesn't know how much Leah tried to forget about him, but how could she when he was always around – being the personable Emmett he is around her. Leah is unaware of how she will stop but she knows she will have to. She doesn't blame her best friend either – she must look crazy, but that's how she feels for him.

Leah lay on her bed while she stared at the ceiling. She just couldn't get Alesha's words off her mind. Leah was being too desperate. Where she wants to stop loving Emmett, she also wants to see him. She runs her fingers through her hair – even she doesn't know what she really wants. She blew her cheeks out and picked her phone from her side and dialed Alesha's number. She couldn't stay mad at her best friend – she had to talk to her. After a couple of rings Alesha picked up, "I was waiting for your call, " Alesha spoke first. She paused and sighed, "Listen, I am sorry – I shouldn't be so mean to you. You are my best friend and I should be there for you, but you are been so stupid." Alesha complained.

Leah chuckled and rolled onto her stomach, "I know, " She accepts before she groaned tiredly, "What am I supposed to do, Alesha? How can I forget him?" Leah asked her softly. Alesha was silent for a few seconds before she replied, "I know it is hard, babe. I know." She spoke softly. Leah could feel her eyes getting stung by the glossiness of her eyes, "I have tried everything. Maybe – just maybe if I will see them happy together. I might realize how I have no place in his heart. I know it will hurt me, but maybe my stupid heart wants to learn the hard way, " She replied. Alesha wanted nothing but to embrace her friend in a tight hug. They both were silent for few seconds before Alesha broke the tension, "So, how many bathing suits will you take with you?" She asked. "Take the sexiest ones – let him know what he is missing." She added causing Leah to laugh.

"Why don't you come with me as well?" I asked her. "What am I going to do there? It is your brother's best friend's birthday – I don't even know him." She replied. Leah twisted my lips, "Please? I will get bored and also, I have seen some of Austin and Emmett friends – they are hot!" She raised her eyebrow suggestively. Alesha was quiet for few seconds before she continued, "I am listening, " she said. Leah chuckled, "It will be fun. His birthday celebration is at midnight – the party will go on till the morning. It will be so fun if you will be there as well. Please, come with me?" I asked in a small voice. "Damn, some fancy ass girlfriend he has got." She comment which Leah ignored and kept asking her till she agreed.

Leah opened her eyes as she heard the children playing in the playground just outside the school. She didn't realize she was so deep in memories. She blinked and blinked until she could feel the glossiness of her eyes to fade. She sighed as she recalled her phone call with her best friend almost five years ago. If only she would have listened to Alesha that day – if only. She gulped down the gulp she felt in her throat when she heard her office's door open, "Ms. Reed, Mrs. Pattison is on the call right now. She is asking you can move her today's appointment to tomorrow. Elf isn't feeling so well today." Leah's assistant, Andrea asked. Leah curled her lips into a small smile and nodded, "It is alright. I will see Nate tomorrow. Ask her to give my love to him, " She replied. "Okay, " Andrea replied before Leah heard her door softly closing.

Leah has been working for a non-profit organization for children that go through trauma. She couldn't complete her education to become a licensed psychiatrist after the incident five years ago, so she started to work for this firm where she just talks to children and try to make them feel better. She loves her job – it makes her feel better as well. It was difficult for her to continue living after the incident. She struggled to survive each second and after almost two years she started to get used to the changes that were caused to her due to the shooting that took place at Emmett's twentieth birthday party. Since Elf was the last one to be there – she was free early today.

Leah traced her fingers over her wristwatch. Her fingers felt the Braille dots. Austin is supposed to take her cemetery today at four and it was thirty past three – there was still half an hour for her to spare. She stretched her hand out to feel the table beside her on her right and stood up slowly with the help of it. She searched for her white cane over the table that she folded and put on the table. When she felt it under her hands – she picked it up and unfolded it as she once again heard the door of her office open. It wasn't Andrea this time. It was from Austin. She could smell the rosewood scent he uses. She smiled, "Aren't you early?" She asked.

She could imagine him smiling, "Yes, I got a half day today, so I thought I should come earlier. I thought you would be busy." He said. Leah slowly walked closer to her brother. She didn't need to use her cane in her office of her house – she knows where exactly what is and at how much distance it is it. She had it all measured. She stopped a few feet away from him, "Yes, my last appointment postponed at the last minute, but it's good since you are here early anyways." She replied. There was a pause before she heard him sigh. It wasn't a regular sigh – she knows this one too. He was going to propose something. Leah even knows what exactly. Leah chuckled and softly shook her head, "We go through this each year, Austin. Yes, I have to go to the cemetery today. You know I go to their graves every day for a week before the anniversary. I will do the same this time as well, " She answered his unspoken question. She could imagine Austin thinking before he replied, "Alright then, I will buy you ice-cream after that, " He said. Leah grinned, "Deal, " She replied. She imagined a broad smile on her brother's face – she can only imagine since she can't see – not anymore.

The car ride to the cemetery was quite as usual. Leah sighed and rubbed her palms together, "Austin, can you believe it will be five years next week? It is still so fresh on my mind." Leah asked him as usual and as usual, he didn't reply – he never does.

Leah can hear silence. She has heard so many of those. She can hear the awkward silence. She can hear the pity silence. She can hear the angry silence – she knows all of them, but Austin's silence is void. It has been five years and she is still trying to figure out his silence – it is pitch black – just like her sight. Austin's silence has gone empty – she doesn't hear them nor can she feel them and that scares her. Her brother has gone quiet – too quiet that she is afraid he might get lost in it and might never find his way out – or maybe he is already there. Maybe he is lost.

The car ride was filled with the silence – Austin's silence. The car came to stop and Leah was welcomed by the smell of roses. She smiled as she remembered how the entrance to the cemetery is decorated with different kinds of roses – or so she has been told. Austin once told her about them when she asked why could she smell the roses when they first come to visit. She unfolded her cane and stepped out of the vehicle. She could feel a few small rocks beneath her feet indicating her to be careful as she walks. She closed the car's door behind and as usual, she didn't hear Austin get out of the car. I don't think he has visited the cemetery after the funerals.

Leah was surprised when she heard the door of the car opened. She smiled as she felt him walk closer to him until he stood close enough to her to smell the lilies. Her smile dropped as she realized that he wasn't coming in with her as she thought – he came out to give her lilies she bought on the way to the cemetery. She sighed, "Why don't you come with me?" She asked only to be answered by complete silence. She sighed and nodded her head, "Alright, I will not take long. I will be right back." She said and slowly walked toward the entrance as she tapped her cane on the ground ahead of her.

As soon as she entered in – she did what she always does. She took her shoes off and step on the fresh and crisp grass. She held her shoes in one hand and her cane in her second while she clutches the lilies under her arm as she walked while counting her steps. She walked hundred straight then seventy-eight steps right and finally twelve steps left – she was finally there. She recognized the smell around her grave. She breathes in the sweet air and sighed before she spoke softly, "Hey, Alesha."

Emmett and Austin take their things out of the truck of Austin's car while Donna and her friends walked inside the beach house. Emmett glanced towards the girls to see Donna pointing here finger towards Austin while he was not looking to talk to him. Emmett nodded and scratched his nose before he stuffed his hands in his khaki short's pockets while Austin was busy taking out supplies off his car, "So, listen - buddy, " He calls out Austin who hummed in return as Emmett continued, "Um, do you remember Gia?" He asked him.

Austin looked at his friend and knits his eyebrows together, "Gia - As in Donna's best friend Gia?" He asked. Emmett nodded his head, "Yeah, I do - why?" He asked again. "Donna wants me to ask you to ask Gia out, " Emmett replied.

Austin glanced at his friend as he took the last box out of the trunk and shut it, "Why would I do that?" Austin asked him. Emmett shrugged, "Well, Donna told me that Gia told her that she likes you, but she is a little shy to ask you herself, " Emmett answered. Austin chuckled, "Yeah, but I am not interested, " he twisted his mouth. Emmett knitted his brows, "I think she is a nice girl - she is pretty, " He shrugged. Austin nodded as he glanced towards Gia, who was already looking at him. "Sure, she is but she is not my type. Tell Donna, I am sorry." Austin said to his friend as he picked a box with food supplies and walked into the beach house. He passed by Donna, Gia, and two other girls. A frown on Donna's face explains she was expecting Austin to stop and talk to her friend.

Austin doesn't fancy Donna - no one does. She is the girl that always has a guy on her fingertips. Austin, Reuben, Milo, and Emmett were inseparable before she came in and now Emmett hardly hangs out with them since Donna demands him to be with her all the time. From the big window of the beach house's kitchen - Austin could see Milo's car to stop beside his own. He had Reuben with him in the passenger seat. As soon as the car stopped, Reuben stepped out with a scowl on his face. Milo sighed and put his head on the steering before he lifted his head up and stepped out of the car as well.

Emmett called out Reuben but he didn't look at him and storm into the house. Emmett shrugged and called Milo and both of them started to bring the rest of the boxes into the house. Milo glanced towards the door from where Reuben stormed in, a couple of times before he went back to help Emmett. Emmett and Milo might not have seen it, but Austin did. Something was wrong with Reuben - he looked agitated. So, to find out - he walked out of the house to find him in the sea of Donna and Emmett's friends. He looked around for his friend in a crowd of unfamiliar faces but didn't find him.

He bumped into a few familiar faces while he walked up the stairs to see Reuben sitting on the couch by the window with his head resting on the header and his eyes closed. Austin walked to his friend and put his hand on his shoulder, only to be pushed back by Reuben. Austin frowned, "What the hell, man?" He asked. Reuben got up, "I am sorry - I thought you were someone else, " Reuben spoke as he rubbed his eyes. Before Austin could ask any other question, Reuben continued. "Hey, I have to take shower - I spilled coke on my jeans on the way to here. Do you know where can I shower and change?" He asked Austin. Austin glanced at his stainless clothes, "Uh, I have no idea. Let me ask Donna about it, " Austin offered but Reuben shook his head, "It is okay - I will ask her myself." He said before he walked past Austin. Austin was now certain that something was wrong but he didn't ask him.

Alesha put her car on the brake as they reached the beach house and sighed before turning her face to look at her best friend, "I am still not sure about it, Leah." She spoke as her eyes were on a few girls helping out some boys with setting up the barbeque in two pieces. Alesha could tell that these people were not whom she and Leah could hang out with.

Alesha looked at Leah to see her biting her lips, "I don't know any of these people, " Leah mumbled as her eyes wander around all the people at the back of the beach house. She could see some movement in the house through the window and sighed, "Maybe we can spend a few hours and then head back?" Leah asked Alesha. Alesha shrugged, "I am not sure about that either. It took us an hour and a half to get here. Driving back at night - just us two, doesn't sound like a good idea." Alesha spoke. "Does Austin know you are here?" She asked.

Leah guilty looked at her and she didn't have to put it in words - Alesha got it. She didn't tell her brother because it was obvious he was going to object. "It is not like I came here uninvited, " She shrugged. Alesha rolled her eyes and stepped out of her and so did Leah, "Come on, Alesha -" Leah wanted to talk to her friend but she was interrupted by another voice. "Excuse me, " Leah turned around to look at Donna standing behind her.

Leah and Alesha instantly recognized her but Donna didn't and asked them what was in her mind, "I am sorry, but do I know you?" She asked. Alesha sighed and looked around while Leah answered, "Hi, I am Leah. I am Austin's little sister, " She held her hand out. Donna raised her eyebrow as she looked at Leah's hands and after a while slowly shook her hand, "Right, " Donna said with a small yet fake smile on her face. She wasn't very welcoming towards the two girls.

Donna was truly beautiful. Leah noticed that it wasn't makeup that made her look gorgeous, but it was her natural beauty. Leah now realized why Emmett went after her. Donna had everything that Leah didn't. Donna was beautiful. She has a social life. She is confident - everything that Emmett himself possesses. Donna with a fake smile displayed on her lips asked, "I didn't know younger siblings were allowed, " She might have spoken softly but her words were sharp and edgy, "I would have invited my younger siblings as well, " She chuckled. Alesha and Leah mashed her lips together as they glanced at each other, "Well, Emmett invited us - so, " Leah answered as she shrugged. Leah didn't like Donna since day one because she had something Leah wanted, but now she disliked her for her sugar-coated rude behavior.

"Oh, that's nice." Donna's spurious tone was annoying Leah, but she didn't point it out. Maybe it was a bad decision for her to come here after all. Donna clapped her hands together, "Now that you are here - why don't you get in? It is a party after all, so the more the better." She shrugged and gave them a cheeky grin before she walked to her friends - who were busy drinking and set up the barbecue. Alesha walked closer to Leah as they both looked at them and mumbled, "We are so misfit for this gathering, " Leah heard her loud and clear but didn't answer her back. Her friend was right - she doesn't belong here.

Austin was leaning against her car outside the cemetery while his sister went in. He has been bringing Leah here for five years, but not once did he go in. The fact that some of his friends are in there - sleeping peaceful six feet under the ground makes him feel guilty that he got to live and they had to die. It also makes him miss them. It makes him want to cry because not only him but thirteen families lost their treasures that night. It scares him that it could have been him or Leah that night. It reminds him of the panic and horror of that night. It makes him hate one of his best friends - it reminds him of when he saw people dropping on the floor. It makes him remember the blood-covered floor, of the lifeless bodies, of the screams of pain and agony, of the burning smell of gunpowder - of his friends dying in front of his eyes. He is scared of the fear he felt that day - he doesn't want to remember that.

"Thanks for waiting for me again, " Austin almost jumped as Leah quietly came out of the cemetery and stood to hear him. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't realize she has come out. Austin sighed and nodded, "Can we go now?" He asked his sister before getting into the car. Leah didn't say anything - she knows how painful it is for Austin to come here - she doesn't want to cause him more pain, so slowly she walked to get in the car while placing her hand over it. She gets in and was immediately welcomed by the same void silence.

As Austin drove Leah back home - he glanced at his sister to see her eyes closed as she had her head rested on the window. He knows Leah wasn't sleeping since he is aware of his sister's inability to sleep in a vehicle. Austin still hasn't told her about Emmett yet. There were no words spoken between them as he drove closer to his mother's house. Austin broke the silence as she cleared his throat, "Emmett is coming back, " Austin announced. Leah opened her eyes immediately, only to be welcomed by the same darkness.

Leah didn't reply to him as her last few visuals flashed right in front of her eyes. She recalled the screaming while Emmett held her hand. They both ran among the chaos and gun fires. She remembers when she felt a burn on the right side of her neck before something warm oozed out of her wound. The bullet grazed her skin - she remember feeling nauseous and before she could process anything - she hears few more gunshots and Emmett fell on the ground with blooding coming out of him - from where? She couldn't tell. "Emmett!!" she yelled. She was standing too close to the opened window. During the chaos, someone pushed her. She lost her balance and fell out of the window from the first level of the house on to the patio. The last thing she remembered she ever saw was Emmett on the floor - bleeding. When she woke up a week later in the hospital - it was nothing but darkness. She lost her sight that day. She never heard of Emmett again. She was told he was alive and injured and then one day out of nowhere she was told he left - just like that he left.