Submission

Two years ago

When I was a small kid, I always wanted a perfect family where we would always be happy. We would go to parks, my parents would teach me how to ride a bicycle, we would have weekend plans, go to picnics and most importantly enjoy time with each other but all my dreams and hopes shattered into pieces when I first saw my father beating my mother. For a five-year-old, you can easily understand how it was for me. It hit me hard like I was daydreaming and fell off the bed on the cold hard floor.

I don't know what happened that day but from then on my heart started losing its pieces and I couldn't keep it together. Do not get me wrong, I tried and I tried my best to make our family really happy but it was not that simple...

The fights between my parents increased as me and my elder brother Jason, got older and the next thing I knew, I was pushing them away from me. It did not help when I came to know that my father never wanted me, he wanted another son in the Dawson family. So I started pushing him away from me. My mother wanted a girl alright but I guess she did not want me but still she was the one with whom I communicated most.

Lastly my brother...he, you would expect that out of all the shit stuff that happened, he would at least support me but turns out he was more interested in the assets and the numbers. He never liked me and I don't know why but he always tried to degrade me like I am a worthless "luggage".

The friends I had were not reliable and always temporary. No one seemed to stick around with me. Maybe because I am anti-social or I never opened up to them. I have always been like the sufferer in silence type. All those years of trauma have done this to me. My father beats me, my brother beats me and my father makes my brother beat me. So now you know why I am the way I am.

All these years they behaved like whatever they did to me was right and I should be treated like that and all these years I prayed to God to take me first than to let me watch them go and I still wish for the same. I don't know whether I love them or not but I can never bear the thought of them suffering. I always hope that all through that hatred, somewhere in some corner of their heart, maybe they love me too.

Whenever they did something bad to me or beat me up I could not help but remember all the kinds of stuff they did to me which makes me have...

I was 16 when I had my first panic attack.

And they thought I had some kind of breathing problem.

Which does not require any medical care.

I am Rose Dawson and this is my tragedy.

"Rose! Wake up! We are fucking late for school! Get your lazy ass up!"

"Five minutes more please!"

"Oh hell no! You get up now Missy!"

With that warning, I was kicked out of my bed by none other than my best friend and my world Liza.

"Come on Liza! It's Friday! We can skip school...." My muffled voice echoed through the pillow.

"Oh really? Do you plan on losing your scholarship? Because I will not let you. So get up, get ready and let us get going because we are already late."

*****

It's just so strange when your life is one thing and then suddenly it changes. Maybe that is what happened to me when I got a scholarship to Bruckbane college. I never thought I would but here, sitting in the car with Liza.

I looked out the window and saw the mushy green trees with scattered bushes here and there covered with snow

I looked out the window and saw the mushy green trees with scattered bushes here and there covered with snow. The weather was cloudy, not that I minded much because I always loved the rain. Never the cold nor the heat but the rain. Maybe it has something to do with the auspicious season I took birth in. Forks is quite the perfect place for a hideaway. That is the reason why I moved here and anyways it's closer to my college. So it helps I guess.

"Hey, do you mind if I plug in some music?" Liza popped the bubblegum and nodded her head in agreement.

"No prob Rose, but please do not start with Debussy. My ears have started bleeding from listening to those same tunes again and again." Liza said as she steered the car to the frosty road on the left.

"Okay then, Ludwig van Beethoven it is". A smile crept across my face as the melodic tune made it to my ears.

The best thing about mine and Lizzie's relationship is that it's never awkward. We can sit in silence with each other and still be comfortable. We never even talked about each other's past because it's better that way but other than that we are poles apart. She is the more social and outgoing one whereas I am the shy and secured one.

"Hey, did you know that there is a new music teacher coming to our school? I heard that he is kinda hot." She wiggled her eyebrows and looked at me with a naughty glint in her eyes.

"Eww! Lizzie its gross to have a crush on your teacher." The frown on my nose distorted my facial structure as I looked at myself in the rearview mirror.

"You wait girl. I am sure you will start drooling once you see him. After all, you are a young woman with hormones. So just take a chill pill and wait. Anyways music is your fav subject and you will have to spend more time with him and then...you are not that tough Rosie...he would easily get charmed by you and finally, we will be able to have double dates and..."

"Whoa! Stop with that family planning would you? For God's sake, I didn't even have my first boyfriend and you expect me to fall into a guy's arms that easily. Not to mention he is our teacher." The frown rose up to my forehead as I considered Liza's words.

"Well, you never know what happens in life..." Liza said with a distant look in her eyes.

Yeah, no one else knows that better than me.

****

There is always that one thing in college that no one can ever hide from, PE.

So think about my condition when I get my schedule and the first thing I notice is none other than PE which happens to be before my favorite class, that is music. So that means I will get all sweaty and tired by the time I reach to my music class. Don't get me wrong, I am not bad in PE it's just that I don't like it.

Lizzie and I went to our lockers to get our stuff when a bunch of cheerleaders were passing by while talking animatedly of the new teacher.

"Geez! He is all over the school. Guess he is very handsome." Liza said while sending a text to Max, her boyfriend.

"What's up with the cheerleaders and mini skirts? Is it like their dress code or what? All they ever wear are mini skirts and skinny tops." I said ignoring her comment. This whole hot teacher thing is too much for me.

"You do know that it's a free country right? You can not control everyone Rosie as much as you would like to. By the way, I and Max are gonna skip the last period, care to join us?" Her lips quirked up in a wicked smile with the thought of a possible crime.

"Sorry, I can't. My last period is music and you know I can not skip it. I thought you did not want me to lose my scholarship? What happened to your I-am-your-strict-nanny-phase?"

"Okay! Okay! I am giving up on making-my-friend-cool-phase. Happy? And anyway I would not want you to miss your little date with Mr hot now would I ?" She winked and chewed on her bubblegum like one of those casanovas who would love to take anyone home.

Babbling this, she scurried away to her class before I could punch her. I don't know what's up with her because no one in their right mind would ever date a teacher. No matter how good he looks.

Right?

****

Changing back into my clothes after PE I dragged my body towards music class. I was a hundred percent sure that I would fall asleep on the piano even before I hit a tune. And all those laps around the playground did not help the fact that my muscles were tense and sore. Not to mention the fact that I was drenched in sweat.

My tired, lazy hand reached for the door to the music room as my eyes met with green, mossy green enclosed in eyes.

I remember, when I used to live with my family I was never happy. My brain always used to find flaws in myself and my surroundings which used to make me feel low.

Why am I so chubby?

I wish my lips were a little thinner.

My chest looks disfigured!

Why am I so tall? I wish I could wear heels...

My hair is so dull with random waves and curls...

I wish my hair was brownish rather than raven black.

My eyes are so sad, so sad and brown, I wish I had green

Eyes...

All that came rushing back to me as I met face to face with the green-eyed handsome who was sitting on the piano bench. He was playing a tune on the piano, too busy to notice me. The sound of the door must have disturbed his bubble because he spared a glance towards the doorway without looking at me in the eye.

The sound of the door must have disturbed his bubble because he spared a glance towards the doorway without looking at me in the eye

I quietly went to my seat in the middle of the classroom and took out my notebook and started to scribble random stuff.

My eyes darted towards the man in front of the class. He was still on the piano, gliding his fingers on the keys as if he was touching something very delicate.

Now that I could not see his eyes, I was able to see his lean yet strong built, his features were sharp. Sharp jaw, sharp nose, almost giving him a Russian kind of look. He had brown hair which looked softer than my pillow. His shoulders were not too broad but perfect. He was wearing a full sleeved white shirt and pants as if he was in a business meeting. I could not have a glimpse of his shoes but I am sure that they were shiny and polished like a mirror. There was this odd aura surrounding him which screamed for control and domination.

But one thing was sure. He was not a student.

And I had a good guess who he was.

He was our new music teacher.