Still here

SHANE (2017)

"Would you like to stay?" Debbie asked, while playfully pouting her lips and curling her hair around her finger. She has a bright red manicure today, and her long sharp nails always left scratch marks on my back.

However, I'm not complaining. Debbie is very passionate, and she always shows what she is capable of in bed. Everything is fine until she starts acting like a naughty little girl, which is ridiculous to say the least because she turned twenty-eight last month.

But, I must give her credit - she looks awesome. Gorgeous ass, and her boobs - are just mind-blowing. Debbie likes to brag that she gave a bunch of money for them to a surgeon in Salt Lake City.

"I can't, you know that," I answered while tightening my belt. I had pretended that I'm sorry, so we could repeat all of this sometime later.

Now that my needs are more than satisfied, I want to get out of this room as soon as possible, which resembles the princess's abode with its pink color, silk, and frills.

"I really wish you could stay the night," Debbie sighed ruefully, moving her leg as the blanket "accidentally" slipped off.

Tears almost glistened in the large, dark eyes, hinting that I will not regret it if I linger. But it didn't work. Debbie's eyes, though beautiful, always seemed to be blank to me.

Once I got fully dressed, I came to her bed and bent down so our lips could quickly meet.

"See you later, baby."

I left before she had time to say anything else.

Even though it was getting late, and I worked hard all day, I felt great. I cheerfully ran off the porch and jumped into my pickup truck with a big smile on my face.

Wow, Debbie! The girl was on fire.

I'm in a great mood - that's what makes good sex and blowjobs the icing on the cake.

I headed home, passing through Payson at night. Almost all shops were closed, and only bars were full of life. After a hard day full of work, young (and not-so-young) people are drawn to the sketchy parts of the town to knock over a glass or two, talk about this and that, and, if you're lucky, find yourself a company for the rest of the night.

I love this town. Who would have thought that this would ever happen? For as long as I can remember, I always wanted to get out of here.

And I should say, I got out. For two whole years, until circumstances forced me to come back.

I rubbed my neck, holding the steering wheel with one hand.

Well, fuck it - I don't want to think about sad things. I forbade pitying myself a long time ago. My life in Payson is pretty good. I have nothing to complain about.

I'm not gonna cry about it. Period.

I turned into the driveway of our house and turned off the engine. Finn was in the living room, playing the console. I sat on the arm of the sofa, watching my brother play.

"Dude, you're screwed! No, not in that direction..."

But it's too late. Despite a ferocious look on my brother's face as he shot the bad guys, he was still knocked down and a bloody text popped up on the screen saying: "You are dead."

"Fuck! You motherfucker!" Finn scolded, throwing the controller away.

"Hey!" I glared at him severely. "Watch your language."

My brother is sixteen, and although I did far worse things than swearing at his age, I'm his guardian after all. I have to educate him and be a role-model.

"How was the date?" He smirked, giving me an idea that I'm telling him too much.

But Finn has known everything about my personal life since I was thirteen because from the very beginning I wanted us to have a trusting relationship. I may be his legal guardian, but I'm also his older brother. We are everything each other has.

"Okay, as always. And it wasn't a date. Did you eat?"

He nodded, and his hair fell in his eyes. I made a note that it's time to take him to the hairdresser, although guys his age seem to think it's fashionable.

"Come on buddy, it's time for you to go to bed. Did you forget that tomorrow is a school day?"

Finn grimaced.

"Yeah, like it's possible to forget about it."

"Okay, don't grumble," - I laughed. - "Let's go."

I leaned down, and he wrapped his arms around my neck. He uses body braces at school, but I help him at home because it's much faster that way.

Due to the illness, he is thin and it costs me nothing to lift him.

I took my brother to the bathroom, and once he finished his business, I transferred him to his bedroom. It's on the ground floor, right behind the kitchen so he doesn't have to climb the stairs every time.

"Good night, buddy."

By force of habit, I ruffled his hair, just like I did when I was a child, but Finn is no longer a child - he is sixteen. He may start having problems, like any teenager, so I'm looking forward to this time with fear.

I have been raising him since he was ten, and over the years I have come to believe that he is my child.

In a way, it is, because I replaced our mother and father for him.

After closing the door to my brother's room, I went to the kitchen and loaded the dishwasher with the dirty dishes. Then I made a sandwich that Finn will take to school for lunch tomorrow.

After everything was done, I took a bottle of beer from the refrigerator and sat down on the couch in front of the TV. I was flipping channels until I found a show about the wild savannah.

This is how my life has been for the past six years. But I'm not complaining.

***

"How's that girl?" I asked, following Finn's gaze.

"Hannah Rikers," He mumbled reluctantly, and immediately looked away.

The blond-haired girl that caught my brother's attention was walking away towards the school entrance.

"Your classmate?"

"Yes."

Finn looked down on the floor. I wanted to cheer him up, tell him not to hang his nose, everything will be cool. But what do I know about being a "special" teenager, as Finn's therapist likes to say, and pine for a girl who probably doesn't know he exists?

Nothing. My school years were different. I was popular because I played football and, without false modesty, looked good. Girls gathered around me.

My brother was less fortunate. He was born with a disease that determined his entire future life.

The truth is, in all likelihood, he has no chance with this Hannah girl or anyone like her.

However, in some ways I can still understand him. Once upon a time, I also yearned for the one I could not get ...

"Hey, do you want to have a pizza and movie night tonight? Let's choose an action movie with a bunch of senseless firing and gallons of blood?" - I offered, and I winced at myself, because it looked so much like a bribe.

***

However, it is.

"Yeah dude, you can't nail that chick, but how about a dull evening with your brother?"

Hmm...

"Yeah, sure." He indifferently shook his shoulder, and I understood that here it is - the thing that I feared the most had come.

I helped Finn out of the car, and then watched him walk towards the school. My heart hurts and shrinks with every step he takes, which is so difficult for him. And it kills me that there is nothing I can do to help him.

I had to blink rapidly: there is no way I'm gonna burst into tears in the parking lot in front of the school.

I stayed where I was until I'm sure Finn made it to the door successfully. He greeted his buddies Sid and Kevin as they approached him, and only then I left, knowing that he is not alone.

I stopped by a coffee shop on my way to work because I needed a big dose of caffeine to start another day. Despite the fact that over the past year the duties of the foreman have almost completely passed to me, and there is no longer any need to work hard, I do not avoid physical labor.

I left my pickup in front of the bookstore, and rushed to the coffee shop. In my team, almost every guy is in charge, but I still have to be in place so that everyone follows the schedule.

There was a small queue at the counter, which is not surprising at this time of day. I stood at the end, and while I waited, I checked my phone. A message from Harry informing me about a new order, a missed call from a girl from Toledo - she is way too clingy, and I don't deal with people like her more than once. Another Facebook message from Megan Sloan - we used to hang out together in college, and she hinted that it would be good to repeat it. And I will definitely think about it.

I put my phone away and raised my head, and the sight in front of me left me breathless. The most perfect ass I have ever seen.

My pants got tight. Great! The only thing I was missing from my life was a boner.

I couldn't see the face of the girl in front of me, but if the front is as good as the back, I'll be damned if I don't ask for her number.

She was tall and very fit, with a thin waist and long, slender legs that seemed almost endless in her beige shoes with such high heels that I wondered if it's painful to wear them. She was wearing light skinny jeans and a white shirt, a business lady for sure. If she sees my work boots, she will most likely be disgusted.

When it was the girl's turn, she ordered a cappuccino to go and a lemon muffin.

I frowned. That voice...

No, it can not be! I must be mistaken.

After receiving her order, the girl turned around and almost crashed into me because I was frozen to the floor like an idiot.

"Sorry..."

She looked up and stood there in silence, shocked by what she must be seeing. We stared at each other for several long seconds that felt like an eternity to me.

She came to her senses first.

"Shane?"

"Wallace?"

I immediately wanted to hit myself on the back of the head, because after years of not seeing her, "Wallace" was the worst thing I could have said.

Mel's lips pursed, she squared her shoulders, and pulled herself completely together.

Oh no, I didn't want to get into a fight with her at all! And I definitely didn't want her to get all defensive.

All this is in the past.

Damn, can I rewind the last two minutes back?

"Keller, are you going to order, or what?" Rhonda looked at me with displeasure from behind the counter.

"I have to go," Mel hurried, walked around me, and left the coffee shop.

I started after her.

"Next!" Rhonda yelled without waiting for me.

Fuck, did I just see Melissa Wallace?!

Mel was here, in this very place! And I acted like an idiot. What in the hell is Wallace doing in Payson?

And God, why do I think it is so awesome?

No, she has always been a beauty, but now... I will not lie if I say that she is the most gorgeous woman I have ever met.

Aren't school beauties supposed to get sadder looking with age? Looking desperate and hopeless?

It seems like Wallace had never even heard of such a stereotype.

I have to catch up with her, and ask her what she's doing in Payson.

Why the hell am I still standing here?

I ran out of the coffee shop, but all I could see was Mel driving by in a white jetta. Our eyes met for only a moment, but that's enough for me to know that she remembers everything.

Every second of that crazy year before graduation, when we loved, hated and faced a betrayal.

SHANE (2009)

The stadium was roaring and chanting the name of our team.

"Jaguars! Winners! Champions!"

All 11 players on the Payson High School football team put on moronic smiles. We were euphoric. We are the winners. The game was tough and tense, but we did it.

If it goes on like this, by the end of the playing season, the state cup will be ours.

The boys and I were fooling around, jokingly pushing each other, and laughing with joy and pride. Cheerleaders were jumping around, chanting chants, and shouting that they love us.

Now the whole city loves us.

This evening was just the beginning. A whole night of debauchery and fun lies ahead. Could this fucking life be any better?

"Shane, you were on a roll today!"

Trisha walked over to me, wiggling her hips. She's only her first year in cheerleading, but I could see the way she looks at me when we practice. She's pretty, and I wouldn't mind getting naughty with her.

"Thanks, honey!"

I slapped her on the ass, and she laughed. Yes, the girls love it. She looked like she wanted more.

Well, I'm available tonight.

"Are you going to Ryan's party?" I asked.

Her eyes lighted up with hope, and she nodded quickly.

"Of course!"

"Then see you there. Find me!"

"Necessarily!" She replied.

I went to Ryan, who was making out with his girl. Melissa Wallace, whom Ray has been with since last spring. Her legs were wrapped around his waist, and his hands were on her ass. They kissed in such a way that they were most likely licking each other's tonsils.

I was grimacing. I couldn't stand this bore. Even the fact that she was a cheerleader did not stop making her one.

Why the hell did my best friend decide he should have a permanent girlfriend in his senior year?

Who in their right mind does that?

It's like going to a place where there's a buffet and having one egg roll.

"Wallace, give the guy a break." I laughed.

I could clearly see her ass in short shorts, and I must say - the girl was lucky.

Once she heard my voice, Wallace jumped to the ground, and turned to me. Her cheeks turned pink, and I smirked to myself, "Yeah, I saw your ass."

"See you at the party."

Ray leaned down, quickly kissed her, and we headed towards the dressing rooms.

God, I hated what he's become with that chick! We used to hang out all the time, pick up girls, but now he takes Wallace with him almost everywhere he goes.

"What's with your face, Keller?" He threw his arm around my shoulders, smiling like a jerk.

That girl made him that way. His delight sometimes made me want to puke.

"I'm fine."

I scowled at him gloomily.

Ray sighed.

"Because of Mel, or what? When will you two become friends?"

He's fucked up if he believes it's possible.

"Never!" I grumbled.

He may be my best friend, but I don't have to like his woman.

"You know, if I didn't know, I would think that you want her."

"Go to hell!"

Ray laughed, slightly hitting my shoulder.

Yeah, sure - I want Wallace!

I don't give a rat's ass about her. There are thousands like her. He is the only one who doesn't see it.

She is pretty, of course. Maybe even beautiful, but there are enough beauties. Ray could have a new one every night if he didn't cling to Wallace.

"Want her". Hell, no. This guy is crazy!

***

"I'm almost done, damn it! What the hell - I just want to take a piss!"

I threw the door open, ready to punch whoever was pushing in here while I was pissing.

It's Wallace, standing in the doorway with his arms crossed, glaring at me. I got lost for just a second, but then I came to my senses.

"What the hell, Wallace?!"

"In case you haven't noticed, there's a queue, and you're stuck there!" She said haughtily.

The bitch hates me as much as I hate her. And on top of that, there was a line of the assembled onlookers.

"What, someone wants to speak? Can you, Santos?"

Our midfielder raised his hands.

"No, dude, it's okay."

I looked at the girl, and mockingly said:

"See, Wallace, everything is fine."

She rolled her eyes, then she walked around me, and closed the bathroom door. I'm tempted to start beating the door, but instead I ran down the stairs, and joined the guys in the playroom.

Wallace makes me angry and tense.

How long is Ray thinking about fucking her? Or is there still a chance that he will soon give her a resignation?

I took a long sip from the bottle as I watched Rinsky and Patrick play pool, but really not at all attentively.

Ray confessed to me that Wallace was a virgin before they did it for the first time in May. He was so impressed that he even fell in love with her.

The girl gave it to him, and the fool is already whipped.

This Wallace is not stupid - she knew who to be with. Ray is the star of the Jaguars with college recruits queuing up behind him.

She's still a slut, and she's smart too.

I started to get tipsy, the tension released a little.

I couldn't care less about Wallace. Yes, and about Ray as well, if he does not come to his senses. I won't be here in the fall. I'll get a sports scholarship, and move as far as possible.

Fuck this city.

"There you are!"

Trish landed next to me, and I hung one arm over her. These are the girls you can deal with. She knows that there will be nothing but sex. But this sex can be very good.

I took Trish's hair in my fist, and dug into her lips, thrusting my tongue deep into her mouth. She groaned, pressing herself closer to me.

Actually, I'd love to put my dick in her throat, but girls like kisses for starters.

"Hey, you can use the guest room!" Ray screamed at us.

I pulled away from Trish, and turned my head in his direction. Trish bit my neck without any sense of embarrassment.

My friend was sitting in one of the leather chairs with his girl on his lap. She was looking at us with disgust in her blue eyes.

Was this too much for a little vanilla princess?

I smirked.

"Well, you are the one who suggested that."

After that, I quickly got up, threw Trish over my shoulder, and as my classmates cheered, I ran up to the second floor with her.

It wasn't not the first time I was going to fuck someone in Ray's house.

"Damn, you're so hot!" Trish licked her plump lips. "I heard that you are quite a stallion, but..."

I cut off her delight with a kiss. I love that girls think I'm like that, but I'm not here to talk.

Trish rubbed my boner through my jeans. I wanted her to release it and take it in her hand.

"Come on, baby, show him some love." I ordered in a low voice, which always works like magic, and guarantees me a blowjob. In less than a minute, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, as Trish sucked my cock like it was the tastiest lollipop in the world.

I tightened my fingers in her hair, thrusting harder into her hot mouth. I closed my eyes, I felt a pleasant tingling in my lower back, and when I finished in her throat, I could only think of the contemptuous look of bright blue eyes for some fucking reason.

MEL (2009)

Trish Howard was bragging in the locker room that Shane Keller personally invited her to the after-game party.

I rolled my eyes as I turned back to my locker - I could vomit any second.

"I'm going to fuck this guy tonight," She said confidently. "He will lose his head when he sees me wearing this."

She raised her arms and demonstrated lacy crimson lingerie to all the girls in the locker room.

Some of the girls whistled in approval, which only spurred Trish on.

Why do girls act like guys during a hormonal surge?

"She talks like she hit the lottery jackpot," I mumbled to Nancy quietly.

My friend chuckled.

"Let her be happy – this is probably her only opportunity to pull Keller's pants off."

"It's not that hard," I disagreed. "His pants fly off by themselves, as soon as the girl twists her butt in front of him."

"This trick doesn't work twice, though. In addition, he almost does not crap where he eats. Everyone knows that Shane prefers to woo the cheerleaders from the competitor's teams."

Nancy pulled on her sweater as I was pondering her words.

Either way, he's disgusting. I can't even believe that I was in love with him once. In my defense, I will say that I was ten years old then.

"Still, I don't know what to be proud of," I wrinkled my nose. "Is it really that worth it if he can't even memorize the name of the girls he is messing around with?"

"Because he's Shane Keller. For girls like Trish, that's the achievement of a lifetime. There will be something to tell the grandchildren."

We both busted out laughing.

"Well, if only this," I drawled doubtfully.

"Imagine if he becomes a division one star? She will earn money on this if she gives an interview to a couple of magazines. And in general: you got Ryan Polonsky himself. Most girls are ready to push you under the train for this."

I gave Nancy a little push, and she smiled. Maybe her words are not so far from the truth, but I knew that she herself does not think so. After Ryan and I became a couple at the end of last school year, I actually began to catch on myself the envious, malevolent glances of the girls who until recently smiled at me quite sincerely.

That's what it means to get the status of a girlfriend of one of the most desirable guys in school.

But that's not why I was with Ryan. He's cool, funny and kind. I feel good with him.

If it wasn't for his best friend...

I cringed at the thought of Keller. He can't stand me, though, what wrong have I done to him?

Ray says it's jealousy, and Shane will soon get used to me, but we've been together for six months, and his friend seems to have only become worse towards me.

"Erin is so pissed about Trish and Shane hooking up tonight" Skye informed us from the backseat, flicking her lighter.

Me, Nancy and Sky were heading to a party at Ryan's house. Today I am a sober driver, although I have nothing against it, because every time I get drunk, I feel terrible.

"Did Erin hope that Keller would remember her after a year and want to repeat everything?"

Nancy looked over her shoulder at Skyler.

Skye snorted:

"Probably."

"Skye, don't smoke in the car." I looked at her in the rearview mirror. "If parents find out, they will go nuts!"

I didn't know what pissed me off more, Skyler smoking in my car or this entire conversation about Keller and his girls.

Probably everything.

"Okay, I'll open the window!" Skye gave in.

"Just throw out the damn cigarette!" I yelled.

Nancy looked surprised.

"What's wrong?"

"It stinks, and the upholstery can deteriorate from the ashes," I justified.

I acted like a bitch. Why did it happen?

"Looks like you're jealous," Nancy said, then she took off her shoes and put her feet up on the dashboard.

I hardly let go of the steering wheel: what is she talking about?!

"What do you mean?" I looked at my best friend with indignation.

"You got pissed off after all this talk about Shane and Trish," She replied without blinking.

Skyler leaned forward.

"Is Mel jealous of Shane?" She giggled. "Come on!"

I could feel my cheeks getting hot from the blood rush.

"Are you two messing with me? Why would I be jealous of Keller? I don't even like him! Yes, let him fuck with whoever he wants!"

Nancy didn't take her eyes off me for a long time, which made me nervous, and then she started laughing.

I relaxed a little.

"Cool down! I was just messing with you."

I gave her the middle finger, which amused her even more. We all started laughing shortly after, and the tension left my body.

God, I'm jealous of Keller!

She has quite the imagination!

***

The party was almost over, only the most persistent party-heads remained.

Without waiting for everyone to leave, I went to the kitchen and started cleaning. I always help Ryan when he has parties at his place. And this does not happen so rarely, because the majority of the year his parents spend in Washington - Ray's father works in the White House administration. And for a mother the secular life of the capital seems more tempting than raising her only son.

I took a black bag and threw in all the garbage that was left after the party. Suddenly, I heard Trish's shrill laughter - the music was no longer playing, so I could hear it well. I was afraid that she might come into the kitchen, but she shouted to someone: "Bye!" and apparently left the house because she was no longer heard from.

It's not that I don't like Trish, we're not friends, but until tonight I hardly thought about her at all. And now I'm sick of her.

Ugh, what normal girl would share plans to "fuck" someone in front of everybody in a common locker room?

I made a disgusted face, I started cleaning up the milk spilled on the countertop (seriously, who drinks milk at a party?), when Keller entered the kitchen.

I mentally cursed: didn't he leave with Trish?

I pretended not to notice him as I continued cleaning. Shane took a bottle of water from the fridge, then leaned back against the counter and stared at me as he drank.

It made me nervous. I wanted to say something rude and offensive to him.

"What is your problem, Wallace?" He suddenly asked.

I froze with a paper towel in hand, and slowly raised my head.

"Sorry, what?"

Shane squinted.

"What is wrong with you?"

I urged myself not to throw a wet, dirty towel at him.

"Did you smoke too much weed, Keller?"

"I don't like you. Do you get it?" He muttered.

I blinked because this was the last thing I expected. And even though it doesn't matter, suddenly I'm... in pain.

"Okay. That feeling is mutual," My voice was completely indifferent.

"We'll never be friends," He continued, while stepping closer and looming over me. Every word he says breathed hate. "Don't even think that you can quarrel between me and Ray. You are a vanilla bitch, and soon he will understand that he will dump you instantly."

I was too shocked to respond.

Why does he have so much hate?

"Oh, throw that away!"

He tossed an empty bottle on the counter, turned and walked out of the kitchen.