Stay Away

She thought there was no problem but she was fully wrong because at the same time as she neglected to keep the man, she neglected to let her heart fall into it. Now, how will she weigh her mind and heart if she's against himself too? She thought of staying the man away but her heart said otherwise. It wants the man to stay with her.

***

Hope Quinn was diagnosed having a (DID) or Dissociative Identity Disorder. A rare condition in which two or more distinct identities, or personality states, are present and alternately take control of an individual. Some people describe this as an experience of possession. Everyone avoids her because of it. Alone in life and had no other dream but to lose her in the world. She was used to everything especially to alienating the people around her. She didn't want to hurt everyone in her surroundings and add more problems. But there was a man who did nothing but stay by her side even though she tried to stay away from him. The man said he wanted to help her, staying by her side and insisting on what he wanted until she could do nothing but let it go.

How long will she keep away from the man who keep insisting? And when she neglected to do what he wanted? Is love conquer at all in battle of life? Find out.

PROLOGUE

"B-But you promise me, you said you would never leave me --- You wouldn't hurt me --- That you wouldn't stay away. You said, you're always here next to me right?"

"Haha, are you kidding? Promises are meant to be broken ---"

"But you said you won't break it!" Theo stared at me coldy that made me gulped even more. Tears kept flowing down my cheeks. The pain kept spreading. in my chest. The bitterness is slowly coming back.

"Yeah, but didn't you also say that it depends on the person?" I seemed to be weakened by what he said. clenching my fist. I'm trying to stabilize my knees that are weak now.

"B--But didn't you also say, that you don't depend? It's up to you whether you destroy or want to leave ---"

"That's the point, I want to leave you. I'm so sick of you. I can't live with you anymore, can you hear? I want to stay away so I'm leaving and I'm leaving you!" I became increasingly weak especially when he passed me. I sobbed and slowly turned to him, I thought he would at least turn around. But no, he left completely. The man I love has left me.

"T-Theo .." I can't believe, how did we end up like this? I fell to my feet and trembled to be held in my mouth. I shook my head, it's not true. He won't leave me. Maybe he has a reason, I know Theo. He's not like this. I strained and stepped my feet running where he passed but I saw nothing.

"Theo! T-Theo! Theo .. Don't be like this." I remember our happy memories. I can't give up now, not in this place. I close my eyes tightly and try to calm my system down. I feel the onslaught of my pain again. Happy memories was filled with darkness, laughter was replaced by suffering and the smile was replaced by strange sadness.

"T-Theo, don't stay away please. Don't leave me, I need you. I can't fight if you're not by my side. I beg you my love. Don't be like this. You said, you will stay by my side and you will not walk away from me like the others. But what happened? Why did you stay away from me? Why did you leave me? Why --- When I already love you, when I already believe in you, when I'm used to your presence then you just leave me and stay away as if nothing happened? You even broke your promise. Why Theo? W-Why? Why!"

My heart was full of anguish and pain. I didn't know what to think, was it because of my condition? Or was it just because he really wanted to hurt me? And at that thought, I felt weak. I felt like I had lost my temper. My Life, little by little the negatives spread in my mind. It was like a deadly poison that slowly spread throughout my system. I closed my eyes tightly before holding my head. I turned my head to the right and to the left because of a strange pain.

Voices, and pains. "Ahhhh! S-Stop! Stop!" I shouted, I tried to remove and stop them but nothing.

It just kept going until I could just feel the liquid dripping from my nose. I don't want to, that's enough. I don't want to! I don't want to feel it anymore! Stand up! Me and I struggle against the voices and the memories keep recurring, the bad memories of the past come back again.

"Argh! Stop! N-No! I hate it! Stop! S-Stop!" Little by little darkness covered my whole being! But I shouldn't give up now! I can fight it! I can! I clung to the railings that I could see before taking a deep breath and calming myself but if I could then because someone would guide me.

Someone is always there for me. There was only one person who stayed by my side. The man did not stay away but strengthened me. But the man also ruined everything. To destroy the resilience I feel. The man gave hope but that hope was still missed. He stay way and left me.

"T-Theo! Ahhhh! Stooop! Please!" I can not take the pain anymore.

That's enough, but the pain I'm feeling got worse. The voices grew louder and louder. The bad memories kept swirling around so much that I could do nothing but scream and faint forever. My grip gradually loosened as I backed away and stumbled over something. I don't know what's going on yet. The speed of events. I could feel the wind surrounding me and me falling hard into the water. In a river, I fell.

"Theo .. H-Help." I slowly sank.

I feel the still water. The loss of air, the constriction of my chest and the coverage of water in my whole system. I slowly woke up and at that time, I felt my end. I smiled bitterly, the tears I could hardly feel anymore.

This is what I wanted since then and from the beginning, death is the answer to everything. Answers to things I don't want to fight anymore. Run like I can't stand it anymore. Death, the death I have dreamed of ever since. But because of him, because of the man I love. I tried to fight, be strong and be survivor.

He was the light in my dark world. He gave me hope. Hope that also slowly disappearing right now because he left me and he is no longer beside me. He shunned me like everyone else. The closing of my eyelids was my complete disappearance from the world. But only the name of the man I love is on my mind and heart.

With my last breath I forced myself to say his name. "Theo Zenick Ares .."

I moaned softly when I felt heat on my skin, I slowly opened my eyes and sighed when I felt the light. I immediately stood up before slowly opening the curtain so that the intense light coming from the sun came out.

I took a deep sigh before calm my self. "Hmm, it looks like Janna came out again."

I look in the mirror too much, my eyes are swollen and my hair is messy. I also have a lot of rashes on my skin. There are a few that are still fresh and red. I shook my head and started walking to went to the bathroom.

As I descended the stairs, a quiet dining area opened up to me. I felt myself before sighing. My body still lacked strength and seemed exhausted from the tears and the loss. "I'll just eat outside."

I am just a wearing cap and loosened my bangs so my face was slightly blocked from the eyes. I also gripped the pocket of the jacket I was wearing. Why am I in such a state? let's just say I'm a dangerous person, I hurts even if I don't want to.

As I walked, the people I passed glanced at me. My forehead was furrowed and I think they was confused as to why I was wearing this. I secretly swallowed before speeding up the walk. My heart pounded as she spoke, Devie. 'Oh come on Hope, why are you still scared. We should be their fear. '

I bowed slightly before sighing. "Can you please shut up Devie? Not now."

'Tsk, whatever' She hissed that made me feel relief. That's well and she didn't insist now, it's hard as rock. "Chicken spag with devour waffle and this one."

The man in front of me stared before laughing softly. We kept looking at each other. "Why are you laughing? Is there anything funny I said?"

I feel him stunned before laughing again. I tightened my grip on the pocket jacket because of nervousness, what was he laughing at there? I'm still bent over to this day because maybe someone will recognize me and I'll still have a problem that I'm avoiding.

"Well, it looks like you're mistaken miss. Haha, I'm not the waiter here. He, he's the waiter and I'm not. Tsk. You're not even looking at the person you're talking to." The man in front of me was soaked before finally leaving.

"I-Is that so?" Nothing of my own I said before looking up at the drive thru. He was holding the nape of his neck as if he wanted to laugh because I had mistaken the seller for someone else.

"Ahm, thanks." I thanked him and handed over the cash I was holding.

"Come back again ma'am!" Maybe it reminds me of this seller because this is where I always buy what I eat. I just nodded at him before taking a deep breath.

I tightened my grip on the paper bag I was carrying before finally walking. I didn't even pay attention to the people laughing at me as I passed by. I'm used to it too, but why are they still not used to it? 'It's because, their brains are weak. They are the people who don't care and satisfy only their feelings' Janna said.

"Hmm, is that so?" I whispered softly.

'Janna is right, let me out and I'll be the one to hit them. Haha, let's see if they can still laugh.' I close my eyes tightly before shaking. "Not gonna happen."

The two fell silent when I said that so I barely smiled. Good and they are listening now. I was on the side while quietly walking when suddenly something appeared out of nowhere. I immediately fell to the side and closed my eyes tightly when I heard footsteps running. It looks like someone is chasing.

"The pain ah." I glanced at where the men who were chasing him had run into me earlier so I was here on the floor.

I shook my head before slowly standing up. I rinsed my soiled clothes before picking up the fallen paper bag. Fortunately, I was able to protect the food I brought immediately. "Who is that man?"

When I got home I immediately removed the cap and combed my hair. I quietly ate the food I bought before turning on the television using the remote control. I'm here now in the living room, here I usually eat. And as I do every day I put my feet on the table before leaning back.

"It looks delicious ah, is it new or really just now I ate it?" I asked weakly while chewing the food I bought earlier. The taste is delicious and just the right softness, sweetness and filling. I don't think they have this kind of food. Actually, I have no art of eating. Everything I eat is just food and satiety. I only praised one thing once, and that's one I'm eating now.

I can only eat right once, I mean I can eat but it's mandatory. I was stunned to feel pain, not in the head but in the heart. I stopped eating especially when Janna cried. No! My body is tired and my eyes are swollen. "Stop it Janna."

'Let me out! Speed me up!' I shook my head before calming myself. Janna, I was still able to calm her down and stop her from coming out. But sometimes, not even especially when I'm thinking deeply about something that involved my past.. 'One! I'm coming out! I'm going out! Let me out!'

"Janna please ..That's enough, my eye is swollen. Give me a rest first. Please." I pointed out as I frowned while watching TV.

I could hardly understand it because of Janna's constant talking and insistence. 'No! I will come out, your weakest Jannah.' Devie hissed.

My eyes widened. Not allowed! "Stop you two!" Disgusted I said while nervous. That won't go away until the two stop.

'All right, I'll stop hmp!' I breathed a sigh of relief at what Janna had said.

'Psh, you're really weak woman. Just watch Janna, I can come out again. But for now, I'll give it to Hope. Tch.'

"Well, I can't eat well anymore with what the both of you doing oh." I finally breathed a sigh of relief because they didn't bother me anymore and they stopped me completely but I knew it was only for a moment.

I looked around, in the quiet of the house I could almost hear only the TV. Nothing noisy and just quiet. It's was not peaceful, just really quiet. I drank the water before fixing what I ate. I immediately stood up before directly went in my room upstairs.

I just changed clothes because my back was wet. While looking at my reflection in the mirror I immediately took a deep breath when the shower suddenly opened and cold water poured on me.

"N-No! No!" It was as if I was watching a film because I remembered dad pouring cold water on me to wake me up while my hands and feet were tied. Tears welled up in my eyes before I finally fell.

Please, Devie don't come out.

"Fucking shit! Get me out of here! Damn it!"

"The noise.." I whimpered before opening my eyes.

"Fuck! Let me out of here!" My mouth dropped open before retreating slightly. What is this man doing here? I got up immediately before backing away from him.

"Who are you!?" Startled I said and looked at him in fear. He laughed before looking at me with a sigh. Like he couldn't believe in what I said, I was the one who was confused by his attitude.

"Are you kidding!? Let me out of here!"

"Why would I let you go - Why are you even tied up here!?"

"Ha! I can not believe this! Are you kidding me!?" He rubbed my eyes so my body trembled before taking a deep breath. He struggled with the tie while I was stunned. I remembered what happened but I failed. I don't remember anything.

I was secretly distracted when he shouted at me. "Where's your courage now!? Let me out of here!"

I immediately approached him before quickly releasing him from the shackles of the chair. I was nervous because I could hardly hold the rope tied to him. He helped me remove it when he lost his hands. While releasing him there was only one thing on my mind. What did Devie do again!? I don't know if I'll be happy because this man just got a wound and nothing more.

"I'm really sorry..I didn't mean to.." I said softly as I cleaned his wound.

"Woah, you didn't mean to? Really!? Do you want to thank you more for that? Tsk."

I went before my mouth was shut. I put away the medicines I used before heading to the kitchen and put them in one of the cabinets. While doing that I still couldn't help but be nervous, what if that man put me in jail? What if he does something bad? at that thought made me even more nervous.

Gradually, the negativity enveloped my system so I forced myself to close my eyes firmly before finally closing the cabinet. Chasing the breath I grabbed the island counter before shaking. "Think positive Hope, just calm down."

When I returned to the living room I found him sitting on the sofa while leaning, his eyes closed so I could observe him freely. With his messy hair, his messy hair is noticeable but he still managed to match his appearance. I shook my head before lowering the food I prepared for him.

"Ahm, eat first." Trembling with nervousness, I was able to speak. I averted my gaze when it opened its eyes.

"Is that really you? There's a miracle really, what's happening to you?"

"W-What do you mean?" I asked weakly as I bent down.

"Do you really not know? That's impossible.." I tightened my grip on my clothes before sighing loudly and bravely looked up at him. I have to get rid of him so I don't hurt him again. Not only that, I'm not comfortable that I'm meeting someone.

"I have DID." I looked him in the eye. His eyes widened before swallow what he was eating so I handed him some water which he immediately accepted.

"Aah.. Damn. You mean?!" I took a deep breath before sighed again.

"DID, Dissociative Identity Disorder."

He gave me a deadpan look before taking a deep breath. "I know .. What I mean is, you're different from the one I met last time!?"

"Y-Yes." He raised his hand so I closed my eyes, will he hurt me? At that thought my fist clenched.

"Damn. That's right. Tsk." He mumbled. I opened my eyes before looking at him in astonishment. He turned to me.

"What are you looking at there?" Wouldn't he be scared? I took a deep breath.

"N-No.." Weird, he hasn't spoken yet so I just watched what he was doing.

He just eats quietly so I can watch him freely. There was no isolation or even fear of him, I knew that was true and not just pretending. Or maybe he's already planning something so he's so calm. I backed away because of what I thought.

"Don't worry, I won't do what you did - I mean what someone else did." He said coldy before continuing to eat the rice.

I nodded. "O-Okay .."

No one spoke to us anymore so I distracted myself by looking at sesame seeds. Even if he said that it still wouldn't go away without my suspicion of him, it's impossible for him to say that. All my life, no one who has not been scared or incapable has avoided me when they became aware of my condition.

It's either, they'll drive me away or speak ill of me. My fist clenched before bowing. I accept my condition but it's really painful, it's traumatic.

"Are you hungry?"

"Huh?"

"I'm sure you're hungry too. Oh, food. Eat." I was stunned before I couldn't accept what he had shot. I blinked at him. He averted his eyes before leaning back in his seat.

As I chewed the food nothing entered my mind, it was as if I was blank. I will admit, I was surprised. No one fed me or asked if I was hungry. Just him, just this man. I was so bitten on the lower lip before blinking twice.

"This mansion is big. Are you the only one living here?" I was shaken by his question before nodding.

"Really? Hmm, where are your parents? Your family?" I let go of the fork I was holding before putting down the saucer. I was stunned and did not answer. I calmed myself down with that question of his. I closed my eyes tightly before breathing slowly.

I stood up and looked at him. "I'm sorry again no matter what I did, you can leave now." He just looked at me before nodding before standing up.

"Okay," I breathed a sigh of relief at his quick assent. I thought I would have a hard time.

"Damn, by the way what's your name?" The smile disappeared from my lips before I answered. I was already smiling earlier? I looked to the left to avert his gaze.

"Hope.. Hope Quinn." When he did not speak I faced him but what surprised me and the drop of my jaw was what he did.

"Hmm, Hope Quinn ah?" I skipped a beat as he tightened the lift and wrapped around my waist.

I grabbed him by the shoulder and squatted down because he was taller than me. I could feel my heart pounding because of what he did. I immediately turned to him as if I hadn't done it because he was already looking at me.

The two of us hit our eyes and our noses almost came together. My eyes rolled and my mouth dropped open. I thought when my heart beats fast, my other personality will come out again but I was wrong because at the same time as my heart was beating so fast he was applying his lips to mine.

"Theo Zenick Ares.. That's my name." I blinked before looked at him, he was leaving right now.

I faintly sat down on the sofa before being held to my chest. What happened? I was caught on my lip. What did he do? It was too late for me to realize everything. I took a deep breath then eyes widened. "My first kiss.. He took it."