Sins and Secrets

NILA

"Welcome home, darling." I smiled as my husband Silas walked into our living room. I greeted him with a kiss.

"How is my angel doing?" He asked after breaking the kiss.

"She is fine but she missed you a lot."

"I missed you all day, Nila." He said, dropping his bag on the sofa.

"You did?" I asked, playfully wagging my eyebrows at him.

"Should I show you how much?" He replied, scooping me off the ground with a grin.

I squealed in excitement as I wrapped my hands around his neck, smiling as he headed to our bedroom. "I believe you."

"I'm sorry I was so late tonight. I had a lot to do." He said as he sat on the bed, pulling me to his body.

"I know you did. I admire how hard you work and how ambitious you are, but I would appreciate it if you didn't work yourself to death."

"How can I die when I have to stay alive to keep on loving you?" He said with a wink.

I felt my heart going crazy, wondering how he always came up with the lines. I pulled him closer and kissed him. He let out a groan as he dipped his hand into my hair and deepened the kiss. I began to pop open the buttons on the shirt he wore, and he did the same, sliding the gown I wore down my body.

"I love you, Silas," I breathed.

I never would have believed this could be my life a few years ago. I thought my world had ended when my parents died, but now, here I was in a completely different world, doing the work I loved and married to the man who made me happier than I ever imagined.

I couldn't have wished for a better life.

"Let's make a baby," I said, smiling as I stared intensely at him.

He looked stunned. "You want a baby?"

I nodded, sure of what I wanted. "I want to have your child growing inside of me."

"Oh! Nila." He said, slamming his lips on mine and pushing me down on the bed.

*****

"What is wrong?" Silas asked one night as we sat together in the living room.

He was working on his laptop while I rested my head on his shoulder and pretended to watch TV while my thoughts strayed into dark territory.

I didn't know he had noticed the look on my face as I had tried to keep my emotions to myself and not distract him. His excessive love for work was a blessing at times.

"Uh?"

He frowned, placing the laptop on the table. "You have this odd look on your face like you are worried about something."

"I'm not pregnant yet." I blurted out with a sigh.

He smiled, pulling me into himself. "Don't worry too much, Nila. It hasn't been that long since we started trying for a baby."

"What do you mean, it's been three months, Silas," I said, as if he needed a reminder. We both knew when I ovulated and marked the calendar together.

He placed a kiss on my forehead. "Like I said, it hasn't been that long."

"What if something is wrong with me?" I asked, unable to block out that nagging voice in my head.

He chuckled. "We both know that's not true, baby. The doctor said we're both perfectly fine and shouldn't have any issues having a baby. Remember, that was the most expensive and highly sought-after doctor in New York who ran all those tests on us. I believe him."

"Why is the baby not coming along then?" I sighed, frustrated with myself and hating how worried I was.

I knew he was right. I was there. I had seen the test results. I didn't have to focus on the irrational fear in my head that something was wrong with me. I knew I was anxious and should get over it.

"It will when the time is right, babe. You will only get yourself stressed if you keep worrying."

I nodded and exhaled. He was right. I shouldn't get stressed. I had stopped working too much at work, so my body wouldn't be too stressed to accommodate a baby. I changed my diet, but it wouldn't have made any difference if I didn't stop worrying about why I wasn't pregnant.

"I shouldn't get myself stressed." I agreed.

"You shouldn't," he repeated.

"Thank you." I breathed. "I don't know how I could ever survive without you." I teased him.

"You shouldn't have to. I'm your husband." He replied, giving me a brief full kiss on the lips.

His phone rang, jinxing the moment. He sighed, his expression turning sour as he checked the caller ID.

"My dad," he mouthed as he placed the phone to his ear.

I sighed, hating how those two words could ruin my mood instantly. It wasn't unknown to me that his family didn't like me. They didn't approve of our relationship and wouldn't stop reminding Silas of the wrong choice he was making any time they wanted, sometimes even in my presence.

His dad had even reminded him a day before our wedding that he could still call it off and marry a better choice, the daughter of his friend. I had listened with a heavy heart to how Silas had warned his dad about talking down on me. I had pretended like I hadn't heard that conversation even though it had hurt me.

I felt like I was bringing a gap between Silas and his family and couldn't help feeling bad about it even though I knew the situation wasn't any of my fault. His mum didn't like me either, but she didn't show her distaste as aggressively as his dad did.

I felt like crying out in frustration every time I thought of them. It had been over two years since I married into the family. Couldn't they accept me already? They were the only black lining in my happy world.

William was retired, and I doubted that he was calling to talk about work. I wasn't about to stay here and listen to him again.

I stood up, about to leave, when I felt Silas' hand on mine. He held me and motioned to me with his eyes for me to sit down. I sighed and sat down beside him, curling up against him as he traced circles along my bare thigh.

"Hey, Dad." He spoke into the phone.

I couldn't hear what his father was saying over the phone, but I could hear Silas' one-sided conversation and was relieved when the call eventually ended and there had been no mention of me. I didn't even feel hurt that my father-in-law didn't ask of me, I was only relieved he hadn't reminded my husband of a million reasons he shouldn't be with me.

Silas dropped the phone and smiled, pulling me into his lap. "Now, where were we?"

"I don't understand what you are thinking of," I smirked, feeling his bulge rise as I squatted over him.

"Weren't we just talking about making a baby?"

"I thought you said we shouldn't stress ourselves." I teased, moving over his legs.

He groaned. "I said you shouldn't worry too much, not that we should stop trying."

"Don't you have a lot of work to do?" I said, looking at the desk and pointing at his laptop.

He chuckled. "I'm the CEO. No one would question me if I don't do anything."

"It must be nice to be the boss," I chuckled.

"Not as nice as I feel inside you every time." He said, kissing me as he laid me down on the sofa.

I gasped as he got us both naked and made love to me so gently I thought my heart was going to burst with how much it swelled with love. If he was trying to make me forget about his father's call, he didn't have to try too hard. I trusted him and was convinced of his love as much as I was sure of my name.

I couldn't help wishing, as I screamed later in pleasure, that we had a baby this time.

NILA

"You're late again," I said as my sister, Amira, walked into my bedroom. I had finished dressing ten minutes ago and had been waiting for her.

I turned to pick up my phone when something jumped at me. I didn't feel threatened-I knew it was just Amira, who lounged around at home all day. She preferred to say she was 'taking a vacation at home' rather than admit she was jobless. Sometimes I wondered if this was what I had labored for years to achieve.

"Sorry, sis," she said with a smile, plopping down on the bed.

I smiled back, knowing she wasn't truly remorseful. She would pout and grin instead of apologizing properly, and I always forgave her. She was my only family, after all, and her cuteness always soothed my anger. I could never stay mad at Amira for long.

"What were you doing at home that made you so late?" I asked as I stood up from the chair. "Did you stay up all night binge-watching reality TV?"

She sighed. "Yes, but that's not the point, Nila. I already said I was sorry."

"Saying sorry alone doesn't cut it. You know you still have a lot to learn despite how long we've been doing this."

"Yes, mum," she rolled her eyes dramatically.

I chuckled. "You naughty girl. I feel like smacking you." I raised my hand as if I was going to do that.

"Oh! Don't, Nila." She giggled, bending to avoid a smack that was never going to come.

"Get up and let's go," I told her, heading to the door. "How many times do I have to tell you that the first lesson is always to be alert, but you never listen? A driver is always punctual."

She groaned as she stepped outside after me and I knew she was rolling her eyes as well. "Are you going to lecture me all day or are you actually going to teach me how to drive?"

"Both." I chuckled. "You should have thought well of it before you asked me to be your driving instructor."

"Trust me, I already regret asking you. I would have asked a professional if I had the money."

"Are you trying to call me unprofessional?" I laughed. "And you should have gotten a job if you knew you wanted to learn from a so-called professional."

She snorted, squeezing her nose up in distaste the way she usually did when anyone suggested she get a job.

"You know I can't keep a job."

"Find a job that you love, Amira, it's not that hard." I sighed as I opened the car and slid into the driver's seat.

She snorted as she got in beside me. "How can I love something that has the words 'job and work' in it? No one in this entire universe loves their jobs, Nila."

"I do," I said, turning to her as I backed out of the garage. "I love my job."

"Of course you do, your husband is a billionaire, and you are a nerd," she stated plainly.

"Don't say that. There must be something you love that you can turn into a career."

"Looking pretty," she smiled.

"Then start a vlog and become a lifestyle influencer. You can give tips on looking pretty, staying in shape, and achieving the perfect lip combo. Doesn't that sound interesting?" I smiled back at her.

She groaned. "Ugh! You're so boring, Nila."

"And you are not ambitious at all, Amira," I groaned.

"Why should I be? I have my tech genius sister and her super wealthy and freakishly hot husband. I don't have to be ambitious, Nila. I just have to find a husband as rich as Silas, and then I won't have to worry about anything else in my life."

"Amira." I gasped. "Are you sure you are my sister?" I asked, my eyes widening as I turned to look at her.

She snorted. "You've always known that we are two different beings."

"And I had hoped we weren't too different."

"Ugh, give me a break Nila, but do you think you can match make me with any of Silas' friends?" She asked, turning in her seat to look at me.

I shook my head. She was never going to listen. I hoped I was finally going to change her mind though. I knew she didn't work but never had an idea that she didn't want to.

"I'm not sure whether they would like you. I still think it's better for you to work."

"They will. Even if I'm not as smart as you are, I am still very capable and pretty."

I winced. I hate it anytime I heard her say that.

"It's time to get you behind the wheel," I said as I drove into our training ground, grateful to be able to change the topic.

"Will you be fine?" I asked, looking at her closely. Deep down, I knew the real question was whether we would be alright.

She turned to me with a smirk. "Don't be like that, Nila. This is not my first rodeo."

Right. I knew that, but I couldn't help being worried. Amira had had seven lessons before today, but she was learning at a pace that I could be proud of.

"Do I need to go over the basics with you again?" I breathed, unable to keep the worry out of my voice. "The brake is–"

She cut me off by starting the car with a roar. "Ugh! Nila, you worry too much. You need to trust your students more," she said with a grin. She smoothly turned the car and began moving in a slow, controlled circular manner, just as I had taught her.

"Can you see that I am doing well?" She gushed as she drove, turning momentarily to glance at me. "Did you see how I did that turning? Isn't that impressive?"

"It is." I nodded, my eyes on the road, so I could correct her quickly if she was trying to make an error.

"Can't you be more enthusiastic about this?" She sighed.

"Have you ever seen a teacher look enthusiastic during a test?" I scolded her. "Focus on the wheels, Amira." I reminded her.

"Yes, teacher." She replied.

I knew she meant to sound sarcastic but didn't care. My heart was up in my throat and I didn't think it was going to come down anytime soon.

She drove well, and I was about to commend her when she suddenly went off track and reversed.

"What is going on?" I asked, my eyes lighting up with worry.

"This is boring. How can I still be driving on an empty road after all these lessons?" She sulked.

This better not be what I think it is. "Amira, I hope it's not what I'm thinking."

She gave me a sly grin. "It's exactly what you are thinking," she said as she pressed the accelerator.

"Don't do that," I screamed at her, but I might as well be screaming at a wall.

She whistled low under her breath as she backed out of the empty parking lot and drove straight onto the main road.

I went white as a ghost even though she was driving carefully. I didn't think she was ready yet for this exploration. We hadn't attached a 'learner' sticker to the car as I didn't think she would want to drive where experienced drivers were.

"Could you please relax now, Nila?" She scowled as she turned to me. "Can't you see how well I'm doing?"

I could see that she was. I started to relax, thinking maybe she could do this. Those driving lessons seemed to be finally paying off.

"You are actually doing well," I breathed.

"See?" She smiled and turned to me.

"Amira, watch out," I screamed, pointing at the road.

It had been a split second that she took her eyes away from the road, but it was enough to cause havoc. A motorcycle dashed onto the road at an alarming speed and Amira squealed in horror and fear as she tried to maneuver the brakes.

My world went dark as the motorcycle crashed to the ground, the sound of screeching tires and crunching metal filling the air. Adrenaline surged through me as I tried to react, but it was too late.

As I lay there, my vision began to blur and my thoughts grew hazy. I could hear Amira's cries of pain and tried to respond, but my voice was barely a whisper.

The world around me dimmed until everything went black.

"Silas," I whispered, feeling the tears slide down my cheeks as I lost consciousness

NILA

Beep... Beep... Beep...

The sound penetrated my foggy mind as I lazily opened my eyes, momentarily.

"Oh! She is awake." I heard as I flicked my eyes open.

The light was too bright, and I shut my eyes, trying to sort out the throbbing in my head.

Slowly, I reopened my eyes again and winced, finding it a bit easier this time as compared to how it had been at first. I tried to look around to find out where I was, but it was hard to do that. My neck felt suddenly stiff.

"Mrs. Hayes." I heard the voice again.

"Uhn?" I tried to speak, but my throat felt tight and dry.

I didn't know where I was, but I felt relieved that the person knew who I was.

The owner of the voice came into focus and I frowned as I stared at the white dress and the worried look in her eyes. I couldn't possibly be in heaven right now, could I?

Oh, come off it, Nila. I scolded myself. I wasn't dramatic.

The sharp scent of antiseptic filled the air and I sighed as the pieces fell in place and I realized where I was. She wasn't an angel but a nurse. I wasn't in heaven; I was in a hospital.

Then it hit me–the accident. I jumped as I remembered everything that happened yesterday.

"Amira!" I gasped as I looked around the room, but couldn't find her.

"Are you looking for something?" The nurse asked, looking worried. "Don't twist your neck too much, it's been stiff for a long time. We still have to run some tests on you once the doctor gets here."

"Amira," I confessed, looking at the nurse. "My sister. The lady I was brought in with yesterday."

"You weren't brought here yesterday, Mrs. Hayes." The nurse replied.

I frowned as I realized the implications of her words. "How long have I been here?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

"Three months." She replied, looking at me with pity.

"Three months?" I gasped, almost screaming. The words tasted awful in my mouth.

"Yes." She nodded.

"Okay." I sighed. "Where is my sister?"

"She's fine. She was discharged two days after the accident. You've been in a coma for the past three months."

I wondered why Amira wasn't here. If the roles were reversed, and she had been the one in a coma, I would have wanted to be present when she finally woke up. I wouldn't have left her alone. I felt hurt that I woke up alone, with only a stranger to see me.

I wondered where Silas was as well and felt hurt hurling through my insides.

I remembered my wedding day and consoled myself, reminding myself of how Amira was. She could have been here all night with me before taking a break. It wasn't like she knew I was going to wake up now. I couldn't blame her for not being with me at the moment.

It was also possible Silas had rushed out to attend an important meeting. I knew how hardworking he was. He probably didn't intend to leave me.

I felt better thinking of it that way.

"Do you know when she left? I mean Amira. Could you please get someone to tell her that I'm awake? She could still be in the hospital," I said.

The nurse's eyes were sad when she looked at me. "I don't know how to say this, Mrs Hayes, but no one has been here to visit you in months."

She had to be kidding. I almost laughed out loud if not that my throat was hurting. "Are you sure you are talking about another patient? My sister and my husband would have been here every day."

"I know you are married, but no one has been here to visit you, Mrs. Hayes. Would you like to see the visitors' log?"

I shook my head. My gut told me that I was going to get more heartbroken. I admitted to myself that indeed she was calling me Mrs. Hayes, so she knew I was married.

"Don't bother." I couldn't recognize my voice when I spoke.

She sensed that I had a lot to deal with and sighed, giving me a pat on the shoulder. "I should leave you to rest. The doctor will be around soon to check up on you and decide when you can be discharged."

When I woke up, a doctor and two nurses were hovering in my room.

He smiled at me once he noticed that I was conscious. "Good morning, Mrs. Hayes."

I glanced at the window, frowning at the bright morning sun. I found it hard to believe I had slept all through till the next day. I narrowed my eyes at the doctor, glaring at him as if he was responsible for that.

He chuckled at the expression on my face, raising his hamd up in surrender. "You don't have to look scared, Mrs. Hayes. We aren't going to hurt you. Now, let's check your vitals." He said calmly as if he was talking to a caged animal.

I snorted. "Don't patronize me, doctor. Let's just get this over with."

He smiled as he flashed his torch into my eyes. He asked me a series of questions which I answered, and he nodded as he moved back, seeming satisfied with my responses.

"I think you are good, Mrs. Hayes, but we will watch you for one more day before you are discharged."

"Thank you." I breathed. I couldn't wait to see Silas again. I was hurt that none of my family was here again to see me.

I looked up at the doctor. "Have you informed my family that I'm awake?"

He nodded. "I was told your husband is on a trip at the moment. We couldn't reach him, but we got that from his secretary."

I nodded, fighting off a weak smile. I knew it. I knew Silas wouldn't have deserted me without a reason.

"What of my sister?"

"We couldn't reach her. We will keep trying, though we left her a message that you are awake. Hopefully, she will be here before you get discharged tomorrow."

"Thank you, doctor."

He nodded and turned to walk away with the nurses before he suddenly gasped and turned towards me again. "I almost forgot." He said, handing an envelope to me. "This came for you last month. Your husband asked us to give this to you when you woke up."

Once I was alone, I eagerly snapped open the envelope, curious to know what the contents were. I hoped it was a compilation of love letters from Silas telling me how much he loved and missed me and how horrible he felt while I was lying there unconscious and fighting to come alive.

I held back a cry, muffling my screams as I shoved my hand in my mouth and cried. I felt numb as I cried, staring at the contents of the letter in my hand as if it were a bomb. In a way, it was. My world as I knew it had just come to an end.

I couldn't believe it. Silas-how could he do this to me? I read the letter again, hoping I had misunderstood, but the words remained the same.

I sighed as reality sank in. They weren't love letters telling me how much he missed me or pleas begging me to come back to him. They were divorce papers.

Divorce papers? Confusion and anger overwhelmed me. I wanted to ask what happened for him to want a divorce from me. I thought that everything was going well with our marriage.

I felt more furious than heartbroken at that moment and dashed off the bed, running out through the door as I flung it open.

I couldn't believe he was a callous human being. How could he send me divorce papers while I was still in a coma?

He owes me a lot of explanations. I doubted that he was actually on a trip. He could have told his secretary to lie that he was. He couldn't have sent me the papers if he wasn't in the country.

"Mrs. Hayes, where are you going?" I heard a nurse shout after me when she saw me running out of the hospital, but I was too far gone to care.

I stopped a cab and slid into it though I had no idea how I was going to pay him. I gave him the address of our home and leaned back on the chair, fighting back my tears.

The cab stopped directly in front of the house and I frowned as I saw guards at the entrance. Since when did we start paying for security?

"Wait here, please. I will bring some cash for you." I said to the driver. I had some cash in the drawer in my bedroom.

"Don't worry about that." He shook his head.

"Thank you," I muttered as I stepped out of the car, wondering why he was nice to me. It wasn't until I got to the mirrored wall by the roadside that I found out why.

I looked disheveled like I hadn't had a bath in weeks, which was right. My hair looked rough, begging to have a comb run through it. I was dressed in a hospital outfit that was hanging on my body frame. I seemed more slender than I had ever been. I couldn't blame the cab driver for thinking I was homeless and probably psychotic. I wondered why he drove me here though, if he thought that low of me.

I shrugged off the thought, reminding myself that I had more pressing issues at hand. I walked towards the house, ignoring the guards who looked stern and intimidating as though they chewed live elephants as snacks.

They frowned at me, raising their hands in the air to block my path. "Who are you?"

I arched my eyebrows at them. "I should be asking you that. Why are you standing guard around my house?"

They didn't react even though I emphasized that this was my home. "You can't be here unless the madam says so."

I had to be delusional. The madam? I couldn't help but let out a scoff. "I'm the madam, this is my house." Has Silas gotten a new wife? Was that the reason for the sudden divorce?

They ignored me and pushed me away. I winced as I fell on my behind, bruising my elbows while I tried to stop my fall. I got up and rushed towards the entrance, trying to get past them. I was stopped and flung away like a useless cockroach.

"Behave yourself, Miss."

"Miss?" I shouted, getting worked up with anger. "I'm the wife of the owner of this house!!!" I yelled.

"What is going on here?"

I stilled and breathed as I heard Amira's voice and felt relief pouring through my heart. I didn't know she was around, I would have asked for her.

She must have gotten the message from the hospital and came to get me clothes I would wear after discharge.

"Amira," I called out to her. Finally, someone to quench this madness.

She ignored me and turned to the guards. "What is going on here? Didn't I tell you not to let anyone in?"

Wait. What? She did. I wondered if she was referring to the new wife Silas got. I knew Amira was feisty and smiled at the thought that she was defending me and protecting my home in my absence.

"It isn't our fault, ma'am. She wouldn't listen, even when we told her she needed your approval before entering."

I felt the earth shift beneath me and didn't register the pain when I hit the ground, my legs giving way like jelly. This had to be a nightmare.

Amira was the madam?