Show me what Love is

Life is filled with numerous occurrences that define us and make us who we are. I guess our only duty is to know which is helpful and which isn't. Some part of the helpful part can be dangerous at times but we need to take a chance on ourselves to find out.

Countless times within the nineteen years of my existence I've neglected the happy moments, regretted my decisions, and wondered what I should have done differently.

There are many what-ifs in life, like:

What if I didn't say that?

What if I had done something differently?

I'm not saying that we can use this to justify our actions yet, our actions are the very thing that led us to certain moments in our lives. We watch the sunset at the horizon, spreading its largess into a grateful sky. Rich hues of red blended with oranges, purples, and crimsons.

Afina, That's my name; Afina Jones. A girl who despite being abandoned as a child, is filled with ambition. I will never abandon anyone.

"So," Lisa says, breaking the silence. "Tomorrow we graduate. We're no longer kids."

Bradley rolls his eyes. "Lisa, you've been saying that for the past hour,"

"Yeah, could we talk about something else?" I ask, giggling.

Lisa huffs, pouting. "This is a big deal! We can't be reckless teenagers anymore, especially you, Bradley."

I smile, agreeing.

"Don't worry, little sis," Bradley responds with an impish grin. "I got it all figured out."

I raise my eyebrows. "Little sis? You do realize she's your twin sister, right?"

"I've been around longer" He huffs.

Lisa punches him playfully in the arm. "Only by two hours, dickhead!"

They fall to the ground, playfighting as I laugh wholeheartedly.

Bradley smirks at me. "Get in babe, you know you want to,"

I shoot him the finger. "In your dreams, asshole,"

"Let me be your asshole," He winks.

I roll my eyes, smiling. "Shut up, Haastrup."

We all lay on the grass. Bradley holds out both of his arms so we can snuggle up together. I look at the sky, waiting for the stars to come out. And for a moment, there is just silence. The silence caressed my skin like a cool summer breeze. It was as comforting as a nurturing mother.

But then I became unsure.

"Whatever happens, I wish that the three of us stay together," I whisper to Bradley.

He looks at me, in assurance. "We're right by your side, just like you're by our side,"

I nod. "Of course,"

"Whatever happens, whatever life throws our way," He says. "You'll be fine, even if we aren't here."

"How do you know?" I query.

"Because that's who you are. You move on and get on with life," Bradley replies. "You worry too much."

I smile, scoffing. "Yeah, you're right. Thanks."

"No problem kiddo. Get some rest."

When the stars come out to play and the evening takes on that aroma of the night, when the crickets sing for the joy of living, life awaits. I love the softness, the quiet, the sense of rest. My thoughts slow as a beautiful carousel, each dancing as ribbons from a kite string that reaches for the sky, its colours embracing those lofty heights and inviting in the dreams that wear festival costumes and are formed of music.

In our sleep, we are children again. We dream of things past, things that will never be again. In our dreams, we have comfort, freedom, and love. Sometimes we can be visited by those we lost and for those perfect hours of sleep, we are whole again. Then on waking, we scramble to write it down, just in case there is wisdom in the randomness.

It's not that we think they're really talking to us, mostly, but our subconscious minds can send these people we esteem with solutions. Of course, sometimes it's all garbage or too obscure to figure out. Sometimes they are nightmares, but those are getting fewer and far between now that life has settled back into a rhythm.

I truly look forward to turning in at night, which is funny because, I remember wanting to stay up late, not wanting to sleep at 9 pm, but rather at 1 am. Yet, now sleep is precious, and desired.

**********************************

It had finally happened. The moment of truth is the stepping stone to the real world. This is what they've been preparing us for. After thirteen memorable years. Through the good, bad, idiotic, fun, and change. It was finally time. Time to step out into that bright light, shake the hand of an administrator, and grab the ticket to freedom. The piece of paper that would remind me forever that I've accomplished something. Most of all it's that time to look out among all the fellow classmates, stick up two middle fingers and say "fuck you all." In August, College will start but I knew I wouldn't be attending. For now, I was as free as a bird. All I had to do was sit in this uncomfortable robe and wait for my name to be called. California, here I come!

In December, when everyone is in College, I'll be working. I've known Bradley and Lisa ever since I was five years old. They came from a rich background since Mr. Haastrup and Lisa's father owns the famous 'Haastrup Suites', a well-known hotel around the world. Since I was thirteen, Dean Haastrup, or as I prefer to call him: 'Nip Tip' noticed my interest in the hotel and began teaching me about hotel management. My dream has been to take over the hotel when he believes I'm ready since Bradley and Lisa want to do something else.

It may seem like I'm taking advantage of my best friend's riches, but I prefer to see this as an opportunity. I am an orphan, with no truth of who I really am and where I came from so I believe that this opportunity is a way to give back. I probably don't make any sense right now... never mind.

----------------------

Lisa squealed. "I can't believe we just graduated, all of us!"

I smiled back. "I know! I'm so excited!"

Bradley chuckled and hugged us both. "Hey Lisa, you figure out what you're gonna do in September?"

"You know, I think I want to practice law, you guys!" She beams happily.

"Did you watch 'Legally Blonde' again?" I frown.

She glares at me and throws her cap. "Shut the fuck uppppp!"

Me and Bradley look at each other before laughing.

"What are you going to do, Brad?" I ask.

He looked at me and we locked eyes for a few seconds before he looked down, zoning out and then re-zoning in.

"I uh-" He stammered. "I've actually been thinking about the military..."

"The military?" Lisa says. "Are you sure?"

"Well, I've already applied... and mum and dad know. They're good with it."

"I think that's amazing, Brad" I say, giving him an honest smile. "When do you leave?"

He sighs. "I have just over a week left before I have to go"

"Just a week? Jesus, Bradley when were you going to tell us?" I queried.

Lisa backed me up. "Yeah, these are things we have to know... we won't see you for months, possibly even a few years,"

I sigh and calm myself down. "Nevermind, that doesn't matter anymore. If you have a week... let's make it a good one."

Bradley smiled at me.

"And the first thing we can do to make this a great week is crash the leavers party," Lisa said, smirking.

"Oh hell yeah," I reply, grinning mischeviously.

"Hey um..." one of the graduates called out. Was he talking to me?

"Afina, right?" Vanessa asked.

"Yeah" I responded.

"Are you going to the leavers party?" He asked me.

I nodded in response.

"Hope to see you there" He smirks, winking at me before walking away.

Lisa looks at me, laughing.

"Somebody's getting laid," she says in a sing-song voice.

I rolled my eyes, giggling and told her to shut up.

We decided that it would be best to get ready at the Haastrup property since my apartment wouldn't have enough room for all of us. It was this great, modern mansion in Los Angeles.

Usually, when we get ready we choose each other's outfits. This time, Lisa would be picking mine, I'd be picking Bradley's and he'd be picking Lisa's.

"What. The. Fuck." Lisa growls in her outfit. "What is this?"

Me and Bradley cackle.

"You look like a fucking grandma I-" I burst out laughing, clutching my stomach.

Lisa glared at Bradley.

"Fucking prick," She mutters. "I'm not wearing this."

Lisa went back into her room and changed into a silver backless halter dress. Bradley gave her a look of disapproval and Lisa dismissed this with both middle fingers to his face. I snorted and then acted as if I was innocent and not giggling secretly when he turned to face me.

"Okay Brad, your turn," I say. "Your outfit is in your room."

"I swear to God Afina if it's pink again-" He says, warning me.

I snigger, replying: "Don't worry, you'll look bomb"

And he did. He came out in jeans and a white shirt which stuck to his defined muscles. Unfortunately, they were covered with a black blazer which I picked out for him so I didn't get the chance to enjoy the view.

Bradley was handsome. I knew it and you'd be a fool to think otherwise. I did and may have a small crush on him, but I doubted that he'd want anything to do with me. You might be wondering: why don't you just find out?

I would, really. However, I would be able to live without being with him. After all, he and I were super close and I wouldn't want to ruin that and make things awkward, so I decided to just be that one girl and admire her from afar.

"Fina?" Lisa calls out, waving her hands in my face. "Earth to Afina,"

I blink once, twice, and a third time. "Huh"

"If I knew better I'd say you were checking me out," Bradley smirks.

"You only look hot because of my exquisite fashion sense Bradley," I smile, rolling my eyes. "Now you can attract women, not little girls like you would in those joggers."

Lisa pushes me into her room. "Change woman. You take the longest to get ready out of all of us,"

"Alright!" I tittered.

I wasn't worried about Lisa picking out my outfits. She knew what I liked, and she knew what I disliked so quietly, I threw on the dress she gave me along with the shoes and went all out with my makeup.

I came out, slightly excited for Bradley to see my outfit. I couldn't deny that I looked hot but this was not what happened when I came out of Lisa's room.

"Oooh!" Lisa says. "You are fiiine,"

I laughed. "Shut up. Where's Bradley?"

"He's in the car" She replies. Me and Lisa quickly took a few selfies before going to the car. Bradley turned around to us and asked if we were ready. I nodded for the both of us and he started driving us to the party. I expected him to compliment me when he turned around, but he didn't. I was a little crappy for a few minutes before I realized that I didn't really care about what Bradley thought about me in this outfit. Someone was interested in me, and he was pretty fanciable.

I was looking forward to an amazing night.

***************************

Soon, we arrived at this beautiful venue. It was a mesmerizing sight. I always thought that the night sky could only look so enchanting when bedazzled with millions of stars until I saw the flickering fireworks dancing in the sky and how each spark exploded into many colorful ones.

"Afina, you coming?" Lisa says, interrupting my thoughts.

I look back up to the sky. "Give me a second, I'll be there soon."

"Okay, well hurry.."She responds. "Gate closes in ten minutes. Everyone's pretty much here,"

I nod, smiling. Bradley had already gone inside.

-----

BRADLEY'S POV:

The turnout was great. There was an aroma of champagne in the air and all that could be seen in the venue were people laughing and chattering away.

"Hey Lisa," I say. "Where's Afina?"

"She's outside. She'll come in soon." Lisa responds.

Yeah, well she better hurry the fuck up.

I stood there, bored. Usually, when Afina's here I can laugh with someone other than my sister. She can be a pain in the ass and Fina is less of a pain in the ass.

A familiar face greets mine.

"Hello Vincent," I say.

He gives a side smile. "Hey, man,"

"Can I help you with anything?" I ask, sarcastically.

His side smile forms into a smirk. "Well, I was hoping to see my date,"

"Maybe, Vincent, she stood you up" I grin, widely. "What do you want with her anyway?"

"Relax man, I just wanted a dance with her. That's all" He replies.

I sigh. "Look, Bradley. I know what you're like, you're pretty cool but I don't want any of this 'playboy' shit with Afina alright? She's a good girl."

I realise that his attention was diverted somewhere else. "Speak of the devil,"

Damn.

And there she was. Afina Jones.

My eyes travelled down her body and that exquisite dress on her. She looked elegant in the car. If only I took a proper, closer look.

She wore a sage green glittery dress which not only dropped down to her feet but brought out her beautiful hazel eyes. She had a trail too. There was a slit on the right side which began a couple of centimeters down her thighs all the way to the floor, showing off her flawless, slender legs.

Her breasts were full and stood out the most and were securely held by the two very thin straps: one on her left shoulder, and one on her right. Her dress was backless, revealing her bare, caramel-colored skin and as my eyes roamed her body, I realized that the dress was closed on with the back zipper and smirked at how easy it would be to undress her.

And her hair, her long dark hair. It was as black as darkness but darkness could never be so beautiful and elegant. It dropped down to her waist. It was ruffled and wavy and thick. I couldn't help but wonder how good it would feel dragging along my skin as she rode-

She walked down the steps, strutting in her heels. I paid close attention to her swaying hips as I felt a feeling of satisfaction watching her walk. I looked her straight in the eyes as she approached us, watching me. She walked right up to Vincent, smiling, and for once, I had never wanted to be in the shoes of another man than at this very moment.

AFINA'S POV:

"Hey Vincent!" I smiled jubilantly. He returned the smile.

I could feel Bradley staring at me. No smile. No expression, just blank. I wondered if he was alright or if somebody had pissed him off. Did Vincent say something? I've heard he is a ladies' man but he's been nothing but sweet to me.

Then again we've only had a real conversation for the first time in thirteen years this morning.

"I'm gonna get a drink," Vincent said, breaking the silence. "Do you want one too?"

"Please," I reply with the same jubilant smile I used to greet him. As soon as Vincent walked away I turned to Bradley.

"Everything okay?" I asked.

He looked at me nonchalantly. "Yeah, I'm good. Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine but you're acting weird" I reply.

He scoffs sarcastically. "Me? Weird? No, of course not"

"Is this about Vincent?" I ask, confused.

"You really think he wants you?" He queries. "We've all gone to school together for thirteen years and he hasn't given you anything except from a sideways glance. He only wants one thing, Afina so don't be an idiot and give it to him,"

I roll my eyes laughing. Maybe he had a little too much to drink. I'm not going to take him seriously, he's just being protective.

"I appreciate you having my back, Brad" I respond. "But, I'm pretty sure I can take care of myself, okay?"

I turned around, ready to walk away.

He groans, frustrated. "Goddamn it, Brad! All he wants is one thing and it's not for you to go out with him it's for you to satisfy his needs tonight,"

I turn back and face him, sneering. "Oh my god, Brad! Stop, alright? Has it ever crossed your mind that I do want sex with him? I know what I'm getting myself into!"

"I'm just warning you," He says, laid-back.

I look at him, chuckling. He is unbelievable "Bradley, last time I checked you are my friend, not my father," I say, raising my voice.

"Yeah, because if you had a dad, you wouldn't be acting like such a whore," He snaps, raising his voice to be louder than mine.

My eyes widened in horror.

"I can't believe you said that..." I whisper, finding difficulty in getting the words out.

Lisa stood behind me, smiling.

"Hey guys!" She exclaims. "Bradley, doesn't Afina look pretty?"

She clearly didn't know what happened.

Bradley and I stare at each other, unable to break eye contact.

"Yeah," He answers. "She looks beautiful."

His voice was calm. He took a sip of champagne while he glared at me. I suddenly felt tears pooling in my eyes.

I turned away from Bradley, accepting defeat, and wiped my eyes.

Lisa finally realized something was off. "Did anything happen whilst I was gone?"

I turned to face her. "Ask your brother."

Vincent finally arrived with my drink and I immediately swallowed it down.

Lisa interrupted me. "Woah, since when did you drink?"

Vincent came closer to my ears.

"Do you wanna go upstairs?" He whispers.

I kissed Vincent on the lips and our tongues intertwined. He did not taste sweet. He reeked of alcohol and tasted like beer had gone off. Disgusting, I thought to myself. I wrapped my arms around him and caressed the side of his face.

I stared at Bradley, smirking mischievously. "I would love to go upstairs with you,"

Lisa looked at me, confused whereas Bradley looked at me, angrily staring. It was as if I had killed someone or said something to hurt him... how ironic. I would be fibbing if I didn't feel the slightest bit of intimidation.

Nonetheless, I took Vincent's arm, forcing him to follow me up the stairs to the bedroom.

I peeked my eyes between the crack in the door before closing it completely. Vanessa began taking his clothes off.

"Vincent," I say, awkwardly. "I don't know how to say this but I'm not going to have sex with you,"

"Why not?" He queries, dissapointedly. "I thought you wanted to,"

"I know, I'm sorry," I pleaded. "I was just using you to piss off Bradley."

"No problem," Vincent says, giving me a glorious smile.

"Are you sure?" I reply, smiling back. "Seriously, it's no biggie if you want to go with another girl."

Vanessa chuckles lightly. "Hey, don't worry about it. Do you want a drink?"

I nodded yes and took the glass of champagne he had poured out for me. I gulped it down. I thanked him and he told me not to worry.

And then everything became blurry. Vincent looked at me, unimpressionable even though he knew I felt dizzy. I'm not exactly the type that has a good poker face.

He walked up to me and caught me as I fell into his hands.

"What have you done?" I muttered.

"You used me," Vincent says coldly. "It's only fair if I use you."

And then I blacked out.