Saving you

Rayleigh

I suddenly wake up from the voices that held me out from my long-time sleep and I realized I was in a hospital bed at the same time.

WHERE I AM?!

I didn't remember any of the memories and I think to focus to remembered for now since it's hazy and I felt dizzy, I can't get up since I'm weak.

But I know I was in the bed, lay in here, as I remember myself alone, same quiet room before, seeing myself lay there alone and the feeling of peace once more, I felt I was in my state, my dying self but no I'm not dying today since I'm awake with this new self and new life that I have, this boy

Who knows and I realize why I am here and reborn in this person.

Here I am awake from this place without the memories about this person, I am aware too well that I can't go back anymore I am dead in the same hospital bed.

I just don't want to sink it to me since I don't want to be frightened and this feeling of being terrified

I precisely think of myself to what am I going to do, in this new life of mine. This face of the stranger that I would live in

so I lay there for a while, I have no time to be in a panic, I need to think.

Breath in

Breath out

I suddenly felt an ache in my head, like it crack my skull it look like I banged my head big time.

It's hurting again but I need to get up and turn to look aside, I was frozen when I saw someone stare at me with widened green eyes this person, or I would say my current self and this pale face of mine since there was a mirror in my side.

The heck?!

Who this being be?

who is this kid?

A girl?

I looked at myself and touch my chest at it seem flat and I noticed that thing down there.

I frown at a lady-like boy.

So I did reborn into someone else in this state. this a ladylike body named Ashton or Ash

The question was who this boy was?

What is this boy doing in here? This skinny body of his laying in this bed for a long time. And why?

When I stay here my feeling and pain of memories come back.

My memories from the past self lay in the bed and hopeless.

The feeling of loneliness and painful realization that no one wouldn't go to visit you from his last life, remembering the people who love the most, the people you killed just able to, and the cries of the people cursing me to death. Before dying this was I am thinking and wished to go back and do the right thing but I know I can't do it since this fate the way of me for a living, and now my time was going to end since my goal (I mean my fate was done) and died alone in the hospital since my only home that called mine was longer to be mine since I let it go for a long time ago

My home and my family were not mine anymore.

The family that I grew up with was not with me anymore and I can't call mine since I give up them before my death.

Since my death limited for me to do the right thing, and it's too late to regret since that was the life I choose (no, this thing called fate chose this for me and also the death itself since it's a plan for a long time)

Even I ended like that alone but still, I have done something before I died, I save someone's life from his death, it been 10years ago when I met that patient who that I closed before,

the boy who been sick since he was a baby and now I guess he was alive and healthy, maybe he would live what he was in mind while myself did die that time but I was given a second chance to be alive and do the right thing and the thing was to live a peaceful life he wishes before he dead

The death was not a scary thing to accept, only to have regrets about this without resolving on it, you can't fix it.

Memories of the regrets I have been still in there bothered me, the voices of the people who begged to their lives and voices while cursing me to death,

But here I am now alive and still breathing that's why I felt blessed and also felt disgusted from myself since I think I don't deserve this, I looked at this boy, this beautiful young man with green eyes staring back.

'I don't know why you end like this, but I assured you, you'll live as best as you wanted to'

I just sigh

I honestly don't know what to do, and I just stare at the open window, thinking what this world became this time since I remember it's been 10 years since I died.

I was just 35 years old, I'm been diagnosis with different kinds of cancers, plenty of it, I am like a corpse, only mind, and heart who still make me alive, but the others slowly gave up on me, my own body started to give up, not my heart, but I give up this one to give another chance of living, this young boy with that innocent and beautiful blue eye, and died young since maybe this was my punishment.

I don't know what to do? Since here I am alive and breathing

I felt this feeling of unsure since I am always sure what I'm going to do, my every decision it's always had an answer but now I didn't know

who knows what my life will be like.

While I was thinking deeply into it, suddenly the door opened and saw this two old couple with teary eyes (I think this boy's Grandparents).

"Oh, my Lil Ash.. you're awake," Grandma said in her teary eyes when they saw me, while me staring at me since I didn't know them so

I don't know how to react.

It seems these two felt my discomfort so they held to themself and I see their sadness in their faces so I felt guilty to hurt them through my action, It was new to me as Rayle who been never had a family since. Except the family was not a family but I regard it as a family of my own.

I just live my own and make my name when I was still alive.

As Rayleigh, It's new to me, and I tried to reach out to them and I did.

"I am sorry, Grandma," I say in a timid tone

(I shocked myself since I did not speak like this).

The two look at me with shock and soften.

"It's okay, Ash we don't blame you, your grandma and I were glad that you are safe," my Grandpa said.

Then the doctor came in and speak with them then to me.

so He just nod and said

"I see, he has amnesia, since its a serious one, its whole memory of his, still he didn't gain to remember, so it's hard to get it back," He said.

"Can He still regain his memories and remember Doc?" asked Grandpa

"In this case, it depends on the patient to gain their memories but to me, it's hard to gain the memories back after that accident, He bangs His head pretty good," the doctor said, slowly " I am sorry sir ma'am."

The two elders didn't believe and they became emotional, that's why theme didn'tbear to see them like this since my guilt became increased since I know I am not their grandson, I never remember them at all (maybe not now) The doctor said I stay here for a bit for examining in 3 days after that I can discharge.

"It's okay, son if you have no memory about us, the important was you awake and alive," my grandma said, hugging me and my Grandpa just tap my shoulder as an agreement.

I just let them hug me

I just sigh

I don't know what to do, at least I will be their grandson for a while (To ease my guilt that has been eaten me slowly day by day).

After 3days after I was discharged and go home, this boy home and live them

While living as this guy, I learned about this owner, His name Ash 16 years old, and junior high school student, and scholar then enroll in All boys Elite school, this boy is smart but I can survive this since in reality it must be you guts to survive and learned on how to adopt since I don't have a chance to go school, my life was started when I been trained to kill and exposed violation when I was 5 years old, and I became one of the members of that group, being an assassin in the age of 10years old and became a leader of that organization when I just 20 years old but it's only a temporary one since they tried my leadership of taking this responsibility but the fact is that this responsibility, it became heavier and tensed when it's further.

To live in that kind of home, you need to have guts, and you just don't trust anyone only yourself since no one can be trusted, any moment someone would stab you from the back, even the one who adopted you since they buy me, I can not give my trust since any time I would be killed. And the boss of that time was closed to me, and even the one who trusted me the most I can't give my trust to him since this what I believe in and my way, this way of surviving, it would kind of you lose your humanity since all you think was to survive even you need to kill with no hesitation or else you be killed from their hand.

It's s a long time but I still think and remember like it just happened yesterday,

This man, the 35 years old, Rayleigh who became the leader for almost 15years died from diseases without a cure, he is also known as a brutal and dangerous one in that place(that underworld) not literally under the world that place has been called.

In that place, I live my whole life in there and make my name (so I have too many enemies who wanted to kill me and also, It's just the place where the illegal will be held to be done, selling illegal goods and act illegally like fighting/killing and others). And that time I was tasked to be the head of the underground after the past two years to be a leader of one of the biggest names in Underground, to have avoided too many bloody wars between of them as the head of the underground, I just made laws and rules that must not to lightly disobey since I was chosen by the leaders as the head to be lead, even I was the youngest of them, I am only 24years old, my rule seem to be absolute that lead of the underground been stable for a long time, but I left it the position when I am sick and the being the leader of the group all of it, I left it behind.

I don't know if they still have chosen the head position to underground since it's been a long time, as Rayleigh the former Head of the Underground but the way I know about it, the news spread about the bloody wars happening again the past 10years since the former Head, Rayleigh passes away, the position was empty for a long time until there was the young man who just became a leader in their organization, and make his own name to that the place, this young man in his twenties, and he never shown up in conference, or gathering involve the underground since he was mysterious leader, if he shown up he always wear a mask, a mask of a rabbit (black rabbit and it half of his face to cover ) and after 1year of his leadership, the leaders of the organizations, decide to chose to have a next head of the underground that make this young man in the rabbit mask been chosen as the Current Head of the Underground after he get the Crown, this young mysterious current head of the underground who been rare to be exposed himself from the public, who declare war held in the underground and it became worst in that place even though he been chosen 1year ago

On the other side, Rayleigh didn't know this since he was currently living peaceful with his grandparents were,

I let myself Imagining about me living with these two elders in this wooden house, and l live in their wide whole farm

I just lost for a bit when I got there, too many animals to see, the cows, the chickens with their chicks and the roosters, some goats and horses, some pigs. this farm is big and some of the people who work on this task welcome us, smile at us.

I just wave back and go back to the house, since our house is simple And made of woods, and glass so It seems refreshing to see, too many windows with glass and the floor made of woods seem good to step in, the house is simple and have too many frames hanging. So many pictures of us, Grandpa and Grandma and also me ( I mean This young boy) since He was a baby until He grow up.

They look happy and I felt sad since this boy I was dead with my body (I know We switch not reborn and whatsoever,

This boy wish is to die since He have no sense of resistance and wanted to live his life tall, I didn't sure the reason why He did it since I still didn't have this boy's memories, I just guess something wrong about this boy, something happens that lead by him from death, maybe there is, I need to find out.

Rayleigh pov

I have been thinking deeply since then

I didn't notice I was alone standing in that farmhouse and to see some people busy taking care of the animals under of them and now they look at me.

A woman carrying some basket of eggs, who notice me and ask

"oh, young lady, why are you here? you need something?"

I didn't react to what did she called me and said "nothing, I just lost"

The woman just smiled at me and called someone

"Carl! Come boy!" and she looks at the young boy, in his 10years old running to us.

He stops and looks with an innocent look

"yes mama?" the boy asks, expecting

"Can you lead the Young lady to the farm and have a tour, my son?" she said.

The boy nods while he giggles

"Yes, mama! I will lead the way!" His cheerful response then took my hand

"Let's go, young lady, I make you a tour!" He said cheeky and I still didn't reach to do what he called me and let me drag me.

I didn't mind what I look, since I was wearing long sleeves It seem too big for me to wear since I lost weight, The me who sleeps for 4months without a sign of wake up and this boy outfit, He always wear this kind of outfit, mostly He has long sleeve and pants, and also some short, he wears, also some of it he wears some t-shirt, plain shirt as that since this what I see in this closet, a few one but I didn't wear since I will wear it for school (one week from I am going back).

He has no taste in clothes or he didn't like to notice Since this guy is more like a feminine one when I look at his face.

His long black hair, Since He didn't bother to cut since He was in a coma for 4 months.

His face shapes like a heart and a sharp chin, his eyes green eyes, and have long lashes, He is like a doll since I have long hair I didn't bother to cut it for now.

That's why they called me Young lady since they thought I was a girl, Most of the workers here, but I don't bother to correct them.

And now we have a tour, and the workers just let us pass by or let us look while their working, I see how they are dedicated to their work, caring for it like their children feed them, bath them and I let myself do it which make it an unforgettable experience for me.

As Rayleigh, it's the first time to do this kind of stuff, and enjoy it while working it's simple to work, but I learned to love it.

Well, Thanks to them, I did know about this thing, Until Carl, my tour guide and I end in the Big Old tree on the farm, where it stands, it's the Center of the farm, It is a Big tree that is the perfect place to rest.

I just sit there under the tree and relax looking at the whole farm from here.

It's a tired one but I have happy.

"Young lady, I think I go back and get some snack for you, please wait here," said Carl to me.

I just nod and say "okay, I will wait here."

So He left me here and again thinking of my life before, my life at that place since I was born as Rayleigh.

A Place wherein the morning Its look normal but Its night its turn to be a busy place, Mostly the one who been living there were working at night and some of the Young people partying at night and they do what they wanted to do since that place is free until the night come in ( Also mostly the works were open at night).

In the morning it's like an ordinary day for the people in there, In there since in daylight they sleep to gain strength and do the other things just like a normal people until the night came, It's like It a new day to start (It's opposite) It's different here, for this town that I been live as Ash

This place have a few people living here, Most of it, this place have too many sceneries to see, We have some mountains, a green valley and some of it were trees when you see around, It has no pollution here, that's why

It's refreshing to see, and also you can do to ride a bike, to do hiking, It's nice to do it in this place, and I did feel relaxed while staying here.

It became my haven

Also, there were fewer buildings here unless you will live in the Center of this town.

But my Grandparents and I were not living in the center of the town But not far away from the center, When we need to go there, We have to travel 2 to 4 hours by a trunk that had been owned by my grandparents.

I have a normal life now and to have a peaceful night that I want for a long time when I was still Rayleigh, I did have no luck on my side then I end up as Ash, The boy who seems mysterious, I hope He has no problem that he gets in before He left since I will be the one I ill suffer the most and it will be really hard time for me to do since I don't have this Ash memory.

I wish He didn't have

"So you're home, I see" someone talk so I look around but I didn't see one then I look up and see a guy looking at me with a stare, with His brownish eyes

This guy

Who could you be?

He just look at me

"I see, you don't remember me at all" then he jumps off the tree.

And now he stands in front of me, takes down with his knee, sees his face closer and see his blank expression but

I still see his worried and disappointment in His brownish eyes

That makes me worried, I did not know who this guy was to this boy, Ash

Maybe his friend in his school or childhood friend or what (I don't know but.. it's creep me out for no reason).

Then again, I look at him and ask "Who are you?" confused use expression.

His blank expression but still I see some disappointment and anger?

Wait? Why did He suddenly mad at me?

Suddenly He held me in one arm and pull me down to the ground and He was on top of me

He serious this time

And his face closer to me.

"After You deceive me and run away, did you think that I will let you go after you did this to me, I will never let go", he comes closer to my ear and say "You never run and escape to me, My maid " and look at me with a smirk

What maid? I mean this boy knew him from the start?!

maid? as in MAID?!

how? WHY?!

This wolf, this man is a wolf!

I know it! I was in a difficult spot

I know, I felt it (still panic inside)

This is the most dangerous thing that will happen to me.

What did this lad do this time?! that make me end like this!

I scream inside

HELP!!!

I stared at this young man named Davis,

I just don't think I could get out here but I try not to make a scene since I know it's not good

"I am sorry that makes this disappointing you but can you get off me, and let me be since I don't know you," I said calmly but deep inside I was in a panic.

"What do you mean by that? Ash" Davis said and looked at me like he didn't believe me that look on his face

I just sigh and said "I am sorry again since I did not remember the last time that I talk to you that's means I can not believe how much you know me? Did I know you?"

Davis looked hurt when I say that but I did the right thing to do, maybe?

Davis did not speak for a while and stared at me with that brownish eyes of his and sighed

He let me go that made me hurriedly stand out from his arms and distant from him, Davis was just amused at what I, did, and this Davis smile at me like I was a thing to be used to be entertained so I unconsciously glare at him that makes him more amused so he just comes closer to me that makes me frightened but Davis stop and he sudden pick me up and carried me in his arms that make me shock and I suddenly hold him right away that makes this guy smile more while me since I don't want to fall so I ignored him.

Davis just smiled at me while I was glare at him and punch him to his shoulder, I have no strength to resist so I let him carry me going back to the House, my home

Before we go, I saw Carl carried some for me saw me and us so he stop and greet us

Oh, Carl know this guy and "Sir Davis good afternoon, oh my lady the food"

I just looked at him and still carried this guy and said "Take that with me and I will eat inside"

Carl just smile at me and nod then follow us inside the House

When I get in, I saw my grandparents busy sometimes, grandpa read some books and grandma just sweeping and cleaning when grandpa notice us

"You both here" grandpa speak and smile at us, and grandma just greet us the same as grandpa with a smile

They notice Davis that makes them smile more

"Oh I see, you talk to my grandson, so it makes things clear between the two of you right?"Grandpa asks, expecting to

I suddenly choke and look at Davis then said "you know my grandparents?

Davis smile at me and respond

" yep, since last 4months ago when you were still comatose and when you run away, I searching for you until I got a news about you since I visit there on that hospital since my uncle owns that hospital when I got the news I was worried since you sleep for so long and I been waiting for you to wake up," he explained like he almost loses in the past, the sad and grief tone of his voice when he speaks now, and the way looked at me, the worried in his brownish eyes, I stop for a bit in there.

Davis was worried about this boy named Ash, and I started to like this Davis since he was honest and pure while looking at me (this boy, ash) and hold his hand right now I would think Ash will be lucky if Ash would fall to this kind of man if this ash boy was a bent one since I was not a homophobic one. But it's different this for me since I am Rayleigh who company him

Since I was this boy's body and I was straight as steel, if this Davis love this boy name Ash I mean this man in love this boy (this the current me) as me, this be the big problem for me.

It would never happen at all, I can not accept it, it's okay if only the friendship but not more than that. So I just sigh and smile at him for the first time at Davis

"thank you, Davis"

Davis was speechless and he became red in his cheek and ears that makes him look cute. He is still a kid and it is just a young love and I know it would not last so let it be since this guy was a good kid

"Grandpa, grandma can we leave, I have something to talk to Davis"I announced and the two Elders and Davis stare at me now.

"Oh I see, go son, and makes it right so the two of us will clear the misunderstanding" grandpa advised, the both of us were nodded and l and talked about something about me and Davis

In my room, this room was a tidy one so it's okay to talk here, Davis put me down in bed and then he get some chair so he faces me to talk

"What you wanted to talk about, ash?" He suddenly ask me ( this tension on me it's hit me hard)

"I wanted to ask you about this, I don't know if I have to but can I ask?" I stared at me with doubt (take a bit of breath and sight)

"Seriously, Davis do you like me?" I asked suddenly that Davis choked for a bit and looked at me with wide eyes then he suddenly became red like a

Seriously, man! As in you like Ash as in!

Davis blush and he looked at me with that intense stared

"Yes I do, I mean I'm in love with you at the same time" Davis confess still looking at me

I looked at him with this looks like 'are you kidding look to Davis, I didn't know I started to glare at him but I stop it and I calm myself first then speak up.

"I am sorry but I can't reply to you back since I am not into guys, I am not homophobic but I can not give what you wanted me to give, sorry"

Davis just stared at me looked hurt but he hide it and smile at me "I know, ash from the start I know it too well since I know you just like joking to me," and suddenly he became serious

"but don't blame me by liking you, I mean to love you since it's my right to feel for you," he said seriously, but still I saw the hurt and hope from me, yes the answer he wait from me.

I just looked at him with 'okay it's alright looked' and Davis understood and smile then Davis speak "that's why to let me Chase you, okay?"

The me who been straight as steel kind of man doesn't felt disgust thing to this boy's confession but it felt sorry for him that's why I agreed without realizing it

"Fine, I let you but don't raise your hopes so I am straight since then I just let you" I reason out that makes him smile and hug me "thank you, ash"

I felt to be cheeky and say "if you won then Good luck"

Davis smiled and says"then let's see you will fall for me" then we laugh like we are friends.

Davis speaks again and explains, "by the way ash, you need to go back to school next week right?" I looked at him and realize I was a student so I became pale since I didn't go to school since in my past life that's why I am worried, even I didn't go to school before but I can read and write also learned to count that was important to live but I can image that I would be this far to go school Davis notice it

"Are you alright?" He ask and I just turned at him and nodded "yes, I am fine" then I ask "Davis I want to ask if we are in the same school to attend?" Davis smiled and hold my two hands "yep, we were same school and class since you are my maid before, you follow me to fulfill my needs yep we are"

I am glad we are since he would help me to survive school

"Don't worry I got you, ash beside you still my maid so I got you" he assured and smiled and I smile back "thank you, Davis"

Rayleigh pov

Davis and I standing side by side while looking at the Academy that I have been enrolled in,it's been a week when I got up and recovered so I need to go back

And I been with Davis who Always been there for me even this fear was not mine but the old owner of this body,the feared every time he looked at this school,beside of that I was anxious too since I never step foot any of the school in my life,I mean in my last life since when I live as Rayleigh,I been lived my life to be trained to hold a gun and knife and I need to protect myself in danger.also I know to read and write also count since I know about all of this as a kid who living at my own and live ruthless world that I been live that's why I need to most of it and now I didn't know I will end like this situation to step foot on the School in this life that makes me struggle more than I could imagine

I just sigh but the fear ate me inside,and Davis notice this so he asks me if I am okay and I did say yes I am still Davis worry for me but we were going in

When we got on the campus,it became worst, and I felt terrible at and I don't want this feeling to be terrified when they looked at me, that looked of curious and disgust

Since this body has been endured this before, I can say this young one was bullied before, even I can't control this emotion

Davis notice this, that's why he stops and faces me then he picked me up and carried me in his arms.I was shocked but my fear always been ahead of me,I didn't resist but I buried myself in him, and hide to the stared of the student we through,Davis hold me and walked like it's nothing and a normal thing to do,

I just buried my face to his neck,and still shaken that makes David worried with me that's why he just kiss me in my head to calm me down

I just tried to calm down,until I glance to the left side, and I stopped to see them staring at me like I did see that eyes in the past

I stop and I didn't know I can call this name

"Andy?"

I don't know why,but it seems I see that blue eyes before, and the glimpse of the face of the young boy he saves 10years ago,a boy who has a heart problem

I don't know and not sure if he is but I can't get out my sight at him and my beating heart are still beating

"It's you, Andy?."In my thought looking at him while Davis carry me to my class.

Andy pov

It is nothing not new to me since I study here, my life is boring and I don't care about anything or anything except to uncle Steve who adopt me and the one I see as a family since my mom passed away 5years ago,and I ended alone,living and surviving until I met an uncle who helping me,except him I don't care at all

I was just here to study and get my diploma and to graduate,I was in my last year as a high school student and go out of this school that I hate too much in the past years

I still bear it until I graduated,and this guy pestering me,act that he was my friend but not

I just let him follow me,ignored him,his name is Eric

I was going to my class today so I was walking in the hallway with the students like I normally do, but the news today was the two young men walking around school taking in PDA

I don't care about the gossip or nothing

I just ignored it until I see the two men that everyone was talking about,the guy carry a small and delicate young man since he wears a boy uniform even in his long black hair,if he not wearing it,I will think that he was a girl

I see that the man seems uncomfortable and shaking and I don't know why?

Why he was shaking?Until I heard anyone talking to them especially him so he was shaking because they talking about him,in my guts I want to shut their mouth out but I didn't do it,I was shocked the way I was thinking since I don't damp care about it but it bothers me.

Until the boy looks in his way and that green eyes of his,that choke me for a bit,my heart beats fast.

Like my world stop a bit,that sight of his,he was caught up.