SURVIVAL JOURNEY

"Ocean is strong power

Ocean is our life

If you won't be able to

Survive against its wave

You die"

*************************************************

She cried and cried all her life for her broken heart and shattered life; for her pain and sufferings; for the loved one whom she lost; for the loved ones who turned their back on her; for every one making her think she is worthless; for every abuse she went through; she deserved to be loved but she never got that love; her family was the one who broke her trust; her family were the one who kept on breaking her until she turned into a shell, a stone hearted girl., She vowed to never be hurt cause of her family again., She vowed she would stand for herself., She vowed to become someone that people who thought she was worthless would fall on her feet., She vowed to survive and make best of herself., She vowed to never cry for the one who never loved her and so she upsurge and became the alpha female that she is today.

But did she ever found love and happiness in her life after getting betrayed and hurt by her family?

Let's find out shall we?

Family is supposed to

Be our haven

Very often, it's the

Place where we find

The deepest heartache"

- Iyanle Vanzant

***********

¶Aiyla POV¶

Sighing, I remembered my life and everything that had happened to me. The memories still haunt me, and sometimes all the suffering I endured as a result of my family's hatred was enough to motivate me to be strong and fight for the life I deserved.

So many things have happened in my life, with many ups and downs, and going through those difficult times was really difficult for me.

Looking back on previous memories and times, I am very proud of myself and who I have become. I have grown so successful and accomplished so much in my life because of my horrible history.

Life is claimed to give you your biggest lesson, and that is exactly what happened to me; life taught me my greatest lesson and showed me the harsh reality of so-called "Life."

Real-life is not like a fairytale story; real life is full of thorns, pains, suffering, and struggle, and my life was no fairytale either; it was a brutal and bitter reality that crushed me under the weight of my so-called family's mistakes.

I laugh and cry when I remember my family and the life they gave me, which was full of thorns and pins. I was the consequence of their love or their error, which I still don't understand, or maybe I committed a great sin in a previous life that caused me to experience so much misery in this life, or maybe my misfortunes and sufferings were the results of bad karma that I had to expend in this life.

When I consider all of my trials, I believe I intended to experience the consequences to grow tough and powerful to make my future better and better.

It is said that your family is believed to reflect you. Your family's values and culture are reflected in whatever good and bad actions you choose and act.

It reveals your upbringing, behaviour, culture, values, and family customs, whether directly or indirectly.

It is a blessing to have a family for your children, and not everyone is fortunate enough to have one. It is therefore important to appreciate what you have.

Every child has the right to grow up in a loving and happy home. Children require a loving, secure, and stable environment in which to grow and spend their time.

Once a child is born, they have the right to a good, healthy, and stable family, but the terrible reality is that not every child or individual is fortunate enough to have a stable family.

Everyone's family is their world and universe.

Love, support, trust, sacrifice, honesty, protection, security, acceptance, respect, and loyalty are all part of the family. No family can be complete without them.

Family is a person's and a child's primary support system as they grow up. It also has an impact on a child's upbringing, social behaviour, and personality.

A youngster learns to be ethical, empathetic, fair, honest, and to love and care for his or her family. It also instils life principles to live a happy and healthy life.

Children learn the fundamental values, customs, and culture of society and civilization through their families.

A youngster must also be properly fostered, adored, and shaped into responsible individuals.

It is the responsibility and job of the family to offer the greatest child care possible. As a result, kids can develop into physically, cognitively, and emotionally robust adults.

Family can also help you become a better person. They are the ones who believe in you, have faith in you, stand by you when the rest of the world doubts you, and who will cheer you up when you are down.

Family moulds you, helps you grow and develop, supports you and is there for you in highs and lows.

My family and life were like a beautiful dream to me, one that I never wanted to wake up from.

With their love and support, I had hope and aspired to fly high.

But, well, dreams are just that, right? It may break at any minute, and you would be completely unaware of what is going on.

Life can be amusing and unjust at times, and no one can predict what will happen in a matter of seconds.

"What you have today may go tomorrow," as the saying goes.

Life is full of unexpected twists and turns.

To put it another way, life is like a roller coaster ride with many ups and downs.

What does it mean to have a stable family for a child, and how does it affect their life? What if that family is the source of a child's grief, suffering, and abuse?

So, how will that child deal with and survive her torturous life, which is the source of her tears?

How is that child going to shape her life and future? A family which is also the key to her life is the one breaking her apart; how can she trust people and feel secure if she cannot trust her only family and feel safe within.

As the above phrase describes "Family was supposed to be my haven but it's also the place where I got my deepest heartache from" This is my story, my "Survival Journey"!

My name is Aiyla Sequeira, born in a rich and big joint family including mom, dad, elder brother, uncle, aunts, grandpa and 3 cousins. Being the youngest child of the family sure came with advantages.

I was loved, cared for, adored, spoiled, and well-protected could say I was like a doll to everyone and I was a happy child as far as I know and remember.

My parents loved me a lot and my brother was very protective of me, I had a happy family. Both I and my brother were lucky to have such a family or that's what we were made to perceive.

People used to say I was born with a silver spoon, they used to call me a millionaire's granddaughter. When I think of it it's like a joke to me now.

Sure I was born in a rich and well-known family; sure I did spend my half childhood in luxury, love, care and protection but it was just an illusion, a short-lived fantasy.

Therefore, I would not call myself born with a silver spoon child as it was only temporary. Sure some children are born with good fates, and stable families and who do not even know what suffering and pain are; hell! I did not know about sorrow, suffering and pain until I experienced it but before that, I had a perfect and stable childhood.

When I think of people who used to say I had a good fate I laugh at it, it's like a joke to me now; a brutal joke!

I had a twisted fate, who knew life can be so unpredictable and cruel. Earlier I said life is uncertain. Well, it was the same for me. My happy days were gone in a flash.

In a warped way, life played a notorious game with me and my life changed dramatically. All my hopes, and dreams got crushed; it left me broken and mashed.

My family and my life were just delusional for me. Everything I believed and trusted was all a big lie and fake. The love, faith, and trust I had in myself and for my family all got destroyed and I was left smashed, broken and beyond repair.

And once a happy family was fucked up and gutted. Now a litre is left as a memory, fragments "good and bad" which I cherish and which also haunt me and bring tears to my eyes; leaving my heart in pain.

¶Aiyla PoV¶

" You can't underestimate

how traumatic divorce

Is for the children"

-Isla Fisher

* * * * * * * * *

After spending days and months in Little Angels boarding school; it was time of the day for us to go back home for summer holidays back to our family. It was a nice summer day waiting for our parents to come and pick us up.

We were waiting eagerly and the moment I saw my dad I was so happy full of joy running towards him to hold me running and at the same time my eyes also started looking for my mom when I did not see her, I realised it was only my dad who came to pick us up. I was disappointed but nevertheless I was happy to see my dad.

The moment he was carrying me I asked my dad about my mom. He told me she is at home and we will talk there but what I did not know was, it was the day that would change our lives forever.

I was content upon reaching home to my sweet home; a home where I was born and brought up where I had spent my days and nights being naughty, spoiled, loved and cared. A home where I played and fooled around.

It was our safe haven!

My grandfather was the first person to welcome us home. He was so happy to see us after so many months, my grand dad loved and cared about us very much. We were his favourite grand kids among my other cousins.

We were a twinkle of his eyes.

My grand dad was the go to go person for us whenever we wanted anything whether it be food, money or goods. It was him who fulfilled our wishes.

We were well protected, loved and well guarded by him.There is a saying "home is where the heart is" it was the same for us.

Though we lived in a boarding school, our heart was always at home with our family. After being away from home for so many months or days upon being at home me and my brother used to have a different kind of energy and full of life. The love, affection and care where we use to get at home we never got that kind of endearment at school.

Being at home means we were always surrounded by our loved ones whether it's grand dad, aunt or aunt grandma or our servants.

Their love and care gave us energy and joy!

We always knew being at home means we would be protected no matter what we do or how we act. I still remember I was very small when I was sent to a boarding school which I never wanted to go.

I cried so much that day!

Everyday that I spent my days at the hostel I used to count days and nights as to when our vacation would start and I would be able to go home or wait for the Saturdays to come where we used to get the visitation from our parents.

Whenever they visit us I beg them to take me home. Being at the hostel and boarding school were the hardest days of my life where I used to get bullied and teased because I was so innocent and naive.

I was not like other girls who were cruel and evil. I hated living at a hostel and boarding school.

After meeting my grand dad I ran upstairs where our sanctuary was, did I mention we had a 5 storey house and half part of the building was the hotel that my dad and grand dad use to run and we lived in the roof top part.

Though there was a lift I liked using stairs so running the stairs, I called for mom. I kept on calling and shouting until I reached our place but no answer came from her. I started looking everywhere for her from kitchen to rooms but there was no sign of her and I was surprised when my dad told me she was at home waiting for us after a while my dad and brother came upstairs, I asked him where she was.

At first he hesitated to answer but eventually told us she went to my maternal grandparents house at the same time the house phone rang ring ring! I ran to pick it up. It was from my mother. She told me she is staying there and that we should come there.

I asked her why she was not coming home but all she said was that she was going to stay there for a while. Even after talking to her me and brother did not have any doubts cause it was normal for her to go and stay with our grand parents but what we did not know was they were going to drop a bomb.

A news that was going to turn our lives upside down!

Later we got fresh and had our lunch as fast as we could so that we could go and meet our mom. My dad drove us to our grandparents place but he said he was not going to come inside, which made us halt from leaving the car!

We asked why but he just said he can't so we simply shrugged and left even at that friction of behaviour, we did not think of anything suspicious going on between my parents.

We were so happy to see our mother. There was no boundaries to our happiness. Even our maternal grandparents were happy to see us

After a while of settling down we asked our mum why she was not at home and here at granny's place.

She waited for a while to answer but she replied that she won't be coming back home anymore and we again asked her why she was not going to come back! She said she doesn't want to live with my dad anymore. We were surprised to hear this news and did not know how to react.

Finally she started explaining to us little by little and then there was the word "Divorce" because of this word me and my brother knew our family is never going to be the same that our family is broken.

Hearing this, no words formed we were in a trance hypnotized by millions of thoughts running in both of our brains. We just did not know or understand how we were going to cope with the reality.

The reality of not having our parents together with us. As reality hit us hard tears started rolling down our cheeks until mum told us not to cry we did not realize we were crying.

she told us this is how it has to be!

The bond, love, trust, security which we shared was broken at the same time. Our heart was broken to the extent that we knew it might never be healed again.

Just like that our world shattered and our happiness morphed into sadness and we knew from this day onward our life was never going to be the same again.

Alas! Our family was broken.

This was the first dark cloud that surrounded my life and happiness!