Roommates.

" You have to stay away from these fraternity boys. I don't want them ruining your reputation, scholarship, and making you lose focus. You know your father and I want the best for you, right?" Mom goes about rambling as she nears my new apartment.

I look out the window, marveling at the streets. It doesn't look bad, at least it's comfortable for a college student. I was supposed to stay at the dorms, but my parents thought it was a bad idea. They wanted me off campus since I'm a freshman and they badly don't want me to steer off my path. Like I would even do that.

I have promised myself to do better. Maybe date a girl and it might help with this weird attraction I have towards my gender. And then focus on school and get a job to support my family and stay far away from these athlete jerks who are literally in every college.

Pushing up my glasses, I get out of my mom's car and shut the door. I help her bring down my bags as we walk toward my new apartment. Driving me here and helping me settle in wasn't really necessary, but my mom insisted. She also wanted to meet my new roommate. To make sure he's not a bad influence or they won't waste time moving me out and finding a new apartment.

" Mrs. Brooke." A man greets us as we enter the apartment. He gives my mom his hand for a shake and she shakes him.

I busy myself and look around the foyer. It's pretty decent and neat. I guess the guy occupying this apartment is neat and decent.

" And you must be Ashton." The man turns to look at me with a big smile on his face. He must be the landlord.

" Yes. Nice to meet you sir." I shake his hand.

" It's a pleasure. Come on." He starts to walk and we follow him. The living room is neat too. With a music set and an Xbox. The couches are neat and look new. Everything in here is neat and well arranged. Now I can't wait to meet my roommate.

" Okay. Jakob isn't around. He should be in school or on the field for his soccer practice." The man says.

" He's an athlete?"

" Well, yeah." The man nods. I still don't know his name, but my mom does. She's been talking to him about the apartment. " Don't worry about Jakob. He's a good kid. I assure you that."

" I hope he doesn't like parties or likes to partake in promiscuous activities. 'Cause I was hoping to see him." Mom tells the man.

" I assure you Mrs. Brooke, Jakob is a good kid. He won't be any trouble."

" Alright. Ash honey, why don't you go upstairs with your bags and I'll come help once I'm done talking with Mr. Romanoff."

I nod, grab my bags from the floor and walk towards the hallway.

" Your room is the one on the left. First door." Mr. Romanoff calls out.

I open the first door and walk inside. It's a little tidy but still needs serious cleaning. I sigh and sit down on the bed. I run my fingers through my blonde hair and breathe into my palms.

Why the hell am I nervous?

Well this is the first time I'm moving away from home and living on my own. Technically I won't be staying alone but it still counts. I had a bad trauma in highschool and it's never been the same with my family. Especially when both my parents are homophobes. They spent almost all their lives judging the gay kids and guys in my town. And it sucks I ended up as one.

I had this crush on Bryson. He's not a jock or a jerk. He's just perfect. Well or so I thought. I would secretly check him out from afar and watch him. I truly liked him, to the extent the very little thing he did made me wish I was man enough to tell him how I felt. It was just a stupid crush I thought. And I knew nothing about being gay. To me it was just a little crush and it was okay to find someone attractive, either a girl or guy.

Well nope, I was wrong. And then I noticed I've never looked at girls the way I looked at Bryson. Not even made any attempt of wanting a relationship with a girl. It just doesn't feel right. I googled how to know you're gay and all the signs were just me. I was scared and afraid and I tried to fight off the crush. My parents would kill me if they found out I fantasized about guys. They are homophobes. They believed gay people are the reason we still have hurricane. Which doesn't make any sense.

Everything went back to a little normal. I spent little time staring at Bryson in order not to raise suspicion. I don't want to be that weird kid who is a 'fag'. The bullying will be hectic and I don't trust myself to make it through. I might end up doing something I'll regret. It was around 12th grade and in a few months I'll be leaving highschool. I was dared to write Bryson a love letter in a stupid truth or dare game I played with my classmates. I never had real friends so I hung out with the available squad.

Bryson wasn't the most popular guy in school but he was one of the most popular guys in school. And fortunately he was single. To prove a point to the squad that I was not a coward, which I definitely was, I wrote Bryson the letter. Confessing how I've had a crush on him since 11th grade and it hurts he doesn't see me the way I see him. I regretted ever pouring my heart out to that letter, 'cause at the end it was shitty.

Bryson cornered me the following day at school with his friends and beat the shit out of me. Called me a 'fucking fag' and even started telling everyone I tried to seduce him to have sex with me. I skipped school for four days and my parents were more furious. I couldn't lie to them so I admitted writing Bryson a love letter.

Luckily I graduated high school with Bryson and his friends hitting on me when they felt like it. It was crazy. And now I'm in college and my family and myself thought I have to start all over. Retrace my steps. Stay away from jerks. Stay away from guys and maybe try to date a girl and I can rebrand myself again. I don't know how correct this theory is but it's worth trying.

" Ashton." Mom calls as she walks into my new room.

" I just paid the rent." Mom sighs. She looks around my room and smiles. Pleased.

" You haven't started arranging your room? What are you thinking Ashton?"

Sighs. " Nothing. I'm fine. I'll just get on with unpacking." I stand up.

" Is this about that Bryson kid?"

" Jesus, mom, that was a long time. That was in high school and I regretted my actions."

" It's nice to hear you regret your actions. Because I won't watch you waste your life. Your father and I want the best for you and you should know that. No matter what you do, don't repeat that same mistake again."

I nod. " Noted."

Mom and I unpack my things as I clean my room. I've got class by noon and I need to attend since it's my first class. Once I was through settling in, my mom hugged me and left.

I quickly take a bath since I'm nearly late. I drag plain dark jeans up my legs, the university's hoodie and converse. My parents aren't really rich so I'm here on a scholarship. I grab my backpack and rushes out of my apartment, not forgetting to lock the door. Looking at the school guide on my phone, I navigate around college as I search for the political science building. This school is bigger than I expected.

Not really looking at where I was going, I accidentally bumped into someone. Their books happen to fall on the ground as I quickly bend down to pick them up.

" I'm really sorry." I say to this person.

" Shit, no I'm so sorry. I was careless and I wasn't looking at where I was going." This stranger says. It's a girl. A petite redhead, pale skin and very beautiful eyes. She has a pointed nose and she's beautiful. But for some reason, she doesn't attract me. Sexually I mean.

" No, I'm sorry. I was late and lost, so I wasn't looking." I tell her.

" I'm Lana." She shakes my hand.

" Ashton."

" Freshman?"

" Yeah." I chuckle and pull my hand away.

" I'm a sophomore. Where are you going, maybe I can help you."

" The political science building." I say, adjusting my glasses.

" Great. Come on, let's go. That's my direction." Lana grabs me by the arm and starts to walk.

This is a little awkward. It's not like I've not been held on the arm by a girl before, but because we just met.

" I'm majoring in political science too." Lana starts a conversation and I just listen not really knowing what to say.

" Did you just resume?" She asks. She has a British accent and I barely noticed. Maybe because I wasn't paying attention.

" Yeah. Today actually. Didn't want to miss my first class." I tell her. She smiles at me and nods.

I may not be hot or sexy or whatever thing girls describe guys as. But I know one thing for sure. I'm good looking. I've been told one too many times by girls. I'm just a little bit of a nerd and I'm socially awkward. I don't know how to behave with crowds or friends. It's not like I've had real friends before too. I'm tall, not really pale, slightly dark. Don't like parties. Never gotten drunk before, so I'm what girls or guys call boring despite my good looks. People love assholes and it's crazy.

" There." Lana stops walking and points to a classroom. " That should be your first class." Lana smiles at me.

" Thanks."

" I'll see you around. Maybe we can have coffee together and talk more about politics. What do you think?" She smirks. Isn't she a little older than me? And is she asking me out? God I'm so clueless.

" That will be nice."

Her face beams with happiness as she bites her lip and scurries away. Weird.

***

I'm just rounding up my third class for the day as I step out of the classroom. I'm hungry, exhausted, tired, and in desperate need of sleep. Walking aimlessly around school, a familiar voice calls my name.

" Ashton." I turn around and Lana is smiling at me. She waves a friend or maybe classmate bye as she approaches me.

" You just finished your class?"

" Yeah. And I'm tired." I say.

" You wanna grab something to eat with me. I know a good Café that sells amazing pizzas and other good stuff." She suggests.

Not really sure of what to do with myself, I nod. " Sure."

At least a new friend won't bite. Lana and I walk inside the Café and straight to the counter. We ordered pizza and she ordered milkshake while I ordered coffee. I'm in desperate need of caffeine if I want to make it to my apartment in sound mind. I'm just hoping and wishing my roommate would be kind, and maybe the 'mind your business' kind of guy. I'd really like that.

Lana and I find a booth at the corner of the Café and we sit down.

" So how was class?" She asks.

" It was great. How was yours?"

" Not bad. All though the last class humanitarian was pretty tough. I've got a project that is due Wednesday. I'm yet to start."

" That's...bad. Right?"

Lana laughs. " You're cute. Where are you from?"

" I'm originally from Louisiana. But my parents moved to Georgia when I was ten." I pick at the loose thread of the university hoodie that I'm wearing.

" Wow. You sure don't look like a guy who's from Louisiana."

" Are you British?" I decided to ask her. I don't want to look awkward.

" Duh, like my accent didn't tell you that." She laughs. I silently chuckle this time.

" You know there's a party this Friday, you want to maybe hang out? It's gonna be fun, you won't regret it." Lana asks.

Parties? I've never attended parties in my life before. And also if I want to pass and secure my scholarship, I think it's better to stay ten feet away from parties. My parents aren't rich so I can't afford to fail them.

" Um... I don't know, Lana." I sigh and look around the Café. Lana says something but I don't hear it.

My attention and focus is on the guy that's two booths behind Lana. He's looking down on his phone, with a scowl on his face. His brown hair is tousled, with a black cap turned backwards covering his hair. And from where I'm sitting he sure looks fine. He raises his head and a pair of blue eyes stares right into my soul.

My breath caught up in my throat at once.

Who in the heavens is that?

Who in the heavens is that?

He is good looking. Bright blue eyes, pale skin, his lips are full and pink. And he looks to be from a family with Asian descent. Maybe his mom or even his grandparents.

Hell he's gorgeous.

He gives me a disgusted look and I'm forced to look away. I know that look. You don't have to be warned by words, that look is able to tell you to stay the fuck away.

" Did you even hear a thing I said?" Lana asks. Of course I didn't hear shit, probably because I was ogling this very good looking guy who's definitely straight. So not fair.

" Uh..." I raise my brows as I stare at Lana, my eyes involuntarily staring at this guy behind Lana. And this time he caught me before I even had time to check him out. He's with a girl. A redhead who's bored out of her mind since she's been looking at her phone like forever. Maybe his girlfriend.

Lana looks behind her as she turns to look at me with a smirk. I nearly rolled my eyes.

" Oh I know what's going on now." She smirks as the waiter brings our orders and drops it on the table. The waiter leaves.

" So you've got the hots for Jakob Pierce, huh?" She raises her brows and smirks at me.

" The fuck! Shit no. I don't know what you're talking about." I say and take a sip from my coffee.

" I won't judge. He's pretty hot himself and he's attractive." Lana says.

I shake my head and push my glasses against my nose.

" I don't know what you're talking about." I lied.

I sigh as I try not to look at him again. What happened to the promise I made to myself and my parents? Stay away from jerks and hot guys, and here I am staring at this hot straight guy. The reality that I'm gay is sinking into my skin.

Shit.

" Trust me I don't judge. Plus Jakob Pierce isn't the guy you wanna fall for?"

Whoever this Jakob Pierce guy is, I want to tell Lana I don't even like him. He's hot, yes, and I need to stay away from him. But hearing myself makes me want to laugh at myself. I'm not sure I'll ever get bored of staring at Jakob Pierce.

" Why's that?" I ask Lana, taking a bite from my pizza.

" He's like one of the most popular guys in school. Hot, frat king. Owns the biggest frat house in college and almost every girl in school and guys wants to fuck him." Oh I see.

I shrug, seemingly not interested in this Jakob Pierce anymore. He's definitely a jerk and maybe a Casanova. Without being told he changes girls like diapers since every girl wants to have sex with him.

" Trust me Lana, I'm not interested." I say, after chewing my pizza and downing it with coffee. I need a nap after today's hectic lectures.

" So you've got a boyfriend?" Lana asks. I nearly choke on my coffee. Why would she ask that?

Lana smirks in satisfaction at the look on my face. She knows I'm embarrassed and flushed.

" I have never dated anyone before." I admit with a sigh. That's so depressing to say.

" What! You're like one of the cutest guys I have ever met. Every person would fall for that dimple of yours." She smirks and I blushed.

" Sadly nobody wants to date this guy. These guys love assholes plus I'm complicated. My parents are..." I sigh and look around the Café, asking myself if it's okay to talk about my parents with a total stranger.

" I'm your friend now, Ashton. You can tell me anything. I promise your secret is safe with me as long as you don't want me to tell."

" They're homophobes. They hate gay before and they believe the LGBT community is the reason we still have hurricanes." I cringe as I say it out loud.

" That's the weirdest shit I've ever heard in my life." Lana chuckles as she slurps her milkshake.

" Agreed. It's fucked up. In highschool I did something I still regretted, I never knew I was coming out to the whole school. I didn't think that through. I was bullied throughout senior year. It was exhausting."

" Let me guess. You had a crush on this super hot straight guy and he turns out to be a jerk."

I chuckle. " Accurate."

" Guys are jerks, Ashton, seriously. I've had my own handful of jerks throughout freshman year and even sophomore. It sucks."

The bell at the Café rings and two other guys enter. Lana turns to look at them. They're both good looking and hot. They walk to Jakob's booth as they sit down. Jakob shakes the two guys as they whisper something to Jakob. Jakob laughs. He's got a beautiful laugh. I can sit and listen to that all day.

Lana sighs and turns to look at me.

" You don't look okay. Did you date any of the two guys that just walked in?" I ask her.

" Fooled around, maybe. His name is Carter. He's the shortest one amongst the three of them. Short black hair, flirtatious smirk, and an asshole." Lana says.

I turn to look at them. The shortest one amongst the guys, which is Carter, is talking with the redhead girl with a flirtatious smirk on his lips. Is he flirting with Jakob's girl? My eyes shift to Jakob, he's talking with the other guy. Dark brown hair that's pretty long, he's super hot.

Jakob turns to look at me at once. His speech paused half way as he glared at me disgustingly. Great, he's also a homophobe. The dark brown haired guy whom he's talking to follows his gaze and both guys are now staring at me. With Jakob giving me a death glare.

Look away Ashton. Look the fuck away.

" What you fucking looking at fag?!" Jakob yells as he glares at me with that same disgusted look.

Lana, including other customers in the Café who heard his outburst, including his redhead girlfriend and Carter, turns to look at me. I've never been that embarrassed in my life before. He's not just a jerk and an asshole, he's also a homophobe with an attitude. A disgusting one.

Shit. This is not good. The last time I was called a fag was in highschool and I hate remembering the event. I was almost traumatized by the bullying. But I was strong and I overcame it.

I don't respond to Jakob's hateful words as I turn away. Who does he even think he is? Who calls a guy fag in front of other people.

" Yeah, right, look away fag. You disgusting piece of shit." I hear Jakob mutter.

The customers in the Café begin to murmur and it's getting loud.

" You wanna get out of here?" Lana asks.

Yeah, right away.

I stand up, not bothering to grab my paper coffee cup as I grab my bag. Lana does the same too. We walk out of the Café with Jakob's glare staring at my back.

***

It's almost 10pm and my roommate is not yet back. I cooked dinner and ate as I went back to my bedroom to study. My mind keeps thinking about Jakob Pierce. He looked good-looking. Hot and pretty much great. But the minute he opened his mouth, he spoiled everything.

Staring mindlessly at my book and going through today's lecture, I hear the front door open. My head jerks up at once, alerted. Maybe my roommate is back. Listening attentively, the front door shut and I heard shuffling. I should probably introduce myself before he freaks out that a stranger had invaded his privacy.

Getting out of bed, I grab my t-shirt and put it on, with my fingers combing through my blonde curls. I walk out of my room and down the hall. He's in the living room I think. I walk into the living room and he's not here, probably in the kitchen then. I hear shuffling and a silent humming, and the light in the fridge illuminated the dark kitchen.

I walk towards the dark kitchen as I stop by the doorway.

" Hey, man." I greet and that seems to startle my roommate.

" Shit." He closes the fridge at once.

" Who the fuck are you?" That voice. Why does it sound familiar?

I reach for the switch by the door and turn on the light.

No way. No way in hell Jakob Pierce is my house. No way in hell he is my roommate. This can't be happening.

Why is this happening to me!

Why is the world's greatest jerk in my apartment? There's only one answer to that. This award winning jerk is my roommate. My life can't get any harder.

He's as surprised as me as he stares at me, his hand holding a beer. I glare at him.

" What the fuck! What are you doing in my apartment?"

" Your apartment?" I glare at him. He's still wearing the same outfit as earlier. This time my eyes involuntarily check him out and I'm hating myself more for finding him attractive.

For goodness sake he's an asshole. A hot one.

" What the fuck are you doing here, fag?" He asks and I've never been irritated by another person to this extent.

I roll my eyes and cross my arms.

" Are you always an asshole?" I ask him. How does Mr. Romanoff expect the two of us to be roommates when he's always going to refer to me as a fag.

" Are you gonna fucking answer me or not? Why are you in my fucking apartment?" Jakob walks toward me. Damn he's tall. Like an inch taller than me and quite broader even if he's kinda lean. The good kinda lean.

I clear my throat and look into his blue eyes as I try not to look intimidated. He's kind of intimidating.

" This is my apartment, Jake. And for starters if we're gonna live in the same apartment now you're gonna stop calling me a fag."

He laughs and it sounds beautiful. His teeth is white and the nicest pair I've ever seen.

" This is some sort of joke right? You can't be my roommate." He eyes me down, displeased.

" What the fuck! What's wrong with Romanoff? When I asked for a roommate I wasn't expecting a..." He pauses, bites his lip and shoulders past me to the living room, dropping his beer can on the counter.

" This can't be happening. Why would he even give my apartment to someone without at least my permission?" Jake says to himself as he punches something on his phone. Mr. Romanoff's phone number I think.

I lean against the wall close to the kitchen doorway as I cross my arms. I watch Jake. He doesn't like me and he didn't try to hide it.

" I thought you wanted a roommate."

" Not a pussy like yourself." He groans and puts his phone against his ear.

" I should be the one worried about having you as a roommate. You've been oozing off a bad vibe ever since we met."

" Yeah?" Jakob turns to glare at me. He huffs and sits down on the couch opposite the huge flat screen.

" Mr. Romanoff. It's Jake. What did you do, man? I came home tonight and there's a weird kid in my apartment. He said he's my new roommate. Why would you give my apartment to some weird..." Jake looks at me eyeing me up and down.

I sigh and push my glasses against my nose.

" You should at least ask for my opinion, I'm the one who's gonna spend almost a year with this kid you brought!" He's practically yelling.

Jakob removes his cap, tosses it on the couch and runs his fingers through his long hair.

" He's no trouble? I don't fucking care. He has to leave." Jakob yells on the phone.

Has to leave? What the hell is his problem? Who even acts like that? What's his shit? Is it because he's a homophobe and he saw me checking him out earlier or he's just a real douche? Probably both. Why are good-looking people assholes?

Jake sighs, he turns to look at me and glares at me. I should probably move out to avoid someone like him. Maybe I'm just gonna call Mom and tell her my supposed roommate is an asshole and wants me to leave. I push myself off the wall and proceed to go to my room when Jakob's voice stops me.

" Where the fuck are you going?"

Is he high?

I roll my eyes and turn around to stare at Jake. He already ended his call.

" Going to my room to pack my stuff."

" Why?" He asks. I stare at him like he has grown two heads. Is he shitting me? " Look I don't give a fuck if you stay, just stay the fuck away from me and my stuff. Don't fucking talk to me and lastly don't rub your gay shit all over my stuff." Jake says and stands up.

" I'm not gay!" What is his problem? " What's your problem with gay people, huh? I get it, you don't like me and you've already set your ground rules, why don't you listen to mine? You gotta respect me and stop calling me a fag. Plus why don't you stick your homophobic attitude up your ass you asshole." I turn around and walk down the hallway.

" Yeah, stay away from my shit and we're gonna be fine. Fag." He mutters the 'fag' part and I heard him.

Fucking asshole.

I shut my room door with such force I'm afraid the hinges will pull off. I sit on the edge of my bed and take off my glasses. I run my fingers through my hair and sigh.

Who does Jakob Pierce even think he is? I don't give a rat's ass if he's hot and good looking. He has no right to treat people like they're shit.

I groan and fall back on my bed as I stare at my ceiling. My head hurts, all thanks to Jakob Pierce. Now I'm wondering how we are supposed to stay under one roof for a year plus.

***

I turn off my annoying loud alarm as I get out of bed. I've got class in less than forty minutes. I couldn't sleep last night. Jakob for some reason played his terrific loud music last night after our argument till almost 12 midnight. I couldn't confront him, not ready for his rude remarks.

I take my bath, get ready and walk out of my room. I need to make toast and try to eat before I leave. I go to the kitchen and Jake is sitting on one of the barstool, thumb punching swiftly on his phone as he smokes a cigarette.

How come I didn't think of this? That he smokes too.

" Good morning." I greet and begin to make my toast. Jake doesn't look up from his phone or even answer.

I sigh and shake my head. I won't let his bad vibe ruin my morning. Spreading jam on a slice of bread, Jake finally looks up from his phone as he stares at me with his dark brooding stare from across the counter. I don't bother to look up from what I'm doing or acknowledge him. Jake blows his smoke all over my face as I begin to cough. I hear him chuckle.

I look up from what I'm doing and glare at him, he's staring at me with his same dark stare. Jake takes out his cigarette, dust the ash on the ashtray next to him and puts the cigarette back in his mouth. My eyes check out the pale man in front of me.

He's wearing a cream colored beanie this time, with his brown locks peeking out from the bottom. A loose white long sleeve shirt. For some reason I wondered what he's hiding underneath his shirt. What his body would feel like against my palm. He's built and somewhat sexy. He probably works out too or maybe because he is an athlete.

Weird Ashton. Weird, don't do that.

I clear my throat as I quickly go back to spreading jam on my bread afraid to stare at Jake. He probably caught me staring like yesterday. Why can't I stop looking at him? Probably because he's too good looking to ignore.

" You said you're not a fag and yet you can't help yourself checking me out any chance you get." Jakob says with irritation laced in his voice.

I shut my eyes and breathe out through my nose.

" I don't fuck guys Ash. Stay the fuck away from me. Far away or you're gonna get hurt." He tosses his cigarette on the ashtray and stands up.

He leaves the kitchen.

I exhale as I stare at the living room. Jake grabs his stuff and leaves the apartment.

" What the hell Ash!" I yell at myself.

What happened to retrace your steps. Stay away from guys, hot guys to be precise. Maybe date a girl so that I can make my parents happy.

Will dating a girl even make me happy?

Why can't I accept the fact that I'm gay and let my parents and people around me deal with it the way they want to. It's not my fault I find guys attractive. Jakob Pierce to be precise.

And why does my closeted gay ass find Jakob Pierce, award winning asshole and homophobe attractive. Why do I like him? Why does he even have to be my roommate?

I think it's time I accept the fact that I'm gay. If people around me aren't cool with it, they should probably fall off a damn bridge. Jakob Pierce especially. The fact that my parents will never accept me makes my stomach clench. God this is harder than I thought.

Getting rid of the bread I already applied jam on, I grab my stuff and angrily walk out of my apartment.