Resisting The City's Bad Boy

FLASHBACK. ABOUT SIX YEARS AGO

"Let's see. I will forget all this ignominy that you have brought upon me and this entire family. I will forgive you, Ayana, if you only tell me that that moron you were shamelessly fooling around with is on the way right now to marry you." My father's despotic tone echoes, shooting an arrow directly into my bleeding heart.

How I wish that was the case. At least I would leave this house, and he wouldn't have to look at me with this shame and hurt. Ooh, how I wish!

"No, Dad! I am sorry, but there will be no marriage. He won't take responsibility either." I hiccupped, my face almost sweeping the floor with shame.

I cannot bear to look my father in the eye again. The scorching heat of his breathing on the side of my face is cogent evidence of how enraged he is right now.

My eyes are pools of tears. My nose is all red from blowing it. And my head is a whirlwind of emotions. The shame I am feeling right now is immeasurable. I wish the ground would open up and swallow me right now.

I know I messed up big time. Believe me, it wasn't my intention, because I know just how much my family's icon and repute mean to us all. But how was I supposed to know that I loved a heartless, shameless, dickhead who did not love me at all? How was I supposed to know that he was only after this cursed thing between my legs?

"Just what have you done, sis? I always warned you about that guy, but you didn't listen. See now what you have done to us. How will people see us now? How will we even face society with this shame?"

And here comes the mocking voice of my baby sister.

Yeah. She warned me. Countless times, freaking yes! And, ooh, yeah, I did not listen. How was I supposed to go against the desires of my heart? I was in love, you know. Can nobody really infer that fact alone and cut me some slack?

But in a sixth sense, I think I appreciate her jeering and my father's rancor more than the mutism of my mother. She has not uttered a word since I broke the news to them minutes ago. Only God knows what she thinks of me, but I just wish she could at least say a word. Her silence hurts more than anything.

"Then at least tell me you have a plan out of this mess and save us from the embarrassment of being the talk of the nation, Ayana. We cannot afford that! What do you plan to do with that bastard in your womb?"

Shoot me! Wait a minute.

Is that my father speaking like that?

I had to raise my head and gawk at him in disbelief. His eyes are an inferno of rage and loathing. His countenance depicts seriousness. The words did not just erroneously slip from his mouth. He meant to say every single letter he uttered.

But... I infer that this is not the way they would have chosen to become grandparents, but it happened. And there is nothing to change about this whole'mess' as he called it. But through this mess, they are expecting their first grandchild. Shouldn't that at least make them look at this scenario from a different angle?

A bastard?

How can my child, their first grandchild, the great heir or heiress of their empire-how can he call my baby a bastard?

"I have no time, Ayana. What is your plan? Speak up before I lose it all!" He speaks again before I can finish analyzing his facial idioms or digest his unbelievable words.

I take a deep breath, amassing all the boldness in me to exude my willingness to take responsibility for my actions as is expected of me.

"I will raise my child alone, father. My child will..."

He raises a hand to my face, shutting me up. A cold chill cuts through my bones, almost paralyzing me. That is what they expect of me, right?

"I see you have decided to throw your life away just like that, and even though I want to kick you out right now and disown you for disgracing me this way, I am still your father, Ayana. And for the sole reason that my blood runs through you, I will swallow this bitter pill and let you have that bastard, but here are my orders for your shameless actions and staining the name I have built and protected for years."

I swallow hard, holding my breath as I await my judgment. Everything in the surroundings falls silent, and we all snap at him in awe as he speaks with authority.

"You are forever grounded!!! There is no more college, and not even your shadow should appear in any of the family's activities or be seen out of this compound. Your face and that of the bastard you are carrying will remain hidden as the disgrace that you are."

Hell just broke loose!

God, please tell me I did not hear any of that right.

The ground I am standing on trembles. It's as if it is being ripped off from under me. I attempt to fix my eyes on him, to try and see whether he is joking or not. But the opaque curtains of tears in my eyes are impairing my vision. I see nothing but blurriness. My whole being is convulsing while his world hangs in my head like a heavy cloud.

Hang on. No! My loving father cannot do this to me. I messed up, yes, but the situation is not this serious, right?

"Dad, I am sorry, okay? I am deeply sorry for what I have done, but please, you cannot do this to me." I plead, scouring away the tears from my eyes so that he can see the sincerity of my plea.

But as our eyes meet, I can bet on the innocent seed in my womb that my words did not mean anything to him. He has made up his mind and spoken his thoughts. And there is no going back on his words.

I turn to my mom, pleading for her intervention on this, but her glare alone shifts mine from hers. It is crystal clear that she has righted my father's unjust judgment. I look at my sister, but she gives me the same look as my mother's. They are all in agreement. Nobody is willing to do anything to help me.

Only I can help myself.

I drag my blurry vision to my father, reaching for his hand to plead with him. But he grips my hand tight, pressing it so hard that I scream in pain.

"Dad! You are hurting me!" I cry out, wincing at the pain.

"This is nothing compared to the pain and shame you have inflicted on me and this family, Ayana. I am so ashamed to even call you my own!" He lets go of me and starts to walk away.

But I am still his daughter despite all this, right? He still has a soft spot in his heart to listen to me and show me a little mercy.

"Dad, please! Do not do this to me. It is not fair!" I howl, and it seems like luck is on my side because he halts in his tracks.

I was not wrong to think that he still has some sympathy and love left for me.

He turns to me, and we rock eyes, mine glowing with gratitude and expectations, but his are an assortment of something I cannot decipher. Something that makes me doubt my take on him stopping.

I swallow hard!

And he speaks, proving me dead wrong!

"I said I could not kick you out, Ayana, but I did not say that you were not free to leave on your own free will. If you cannot take what I am offering, then by all means, the door is wide open. Just make sure you do not take this family's name the second you step out of that door!!!"

And with that, my father does not even spare me another glance. He turns his back on me, and my mother and sister follow behind him, leaving me to make my own decision: to either leave my home and everything behind and chase freedom, or stay like a prisoner in my own home.

--------------END OF FLASHBACK----------

"Uncle, please don't leave Mommy alone until I wake up, okay? She is always sad whenever she is alone. Only you and I keep her happy."

See this kid! My sweet, little, precious 5-year-old jewel. She has been my life and the thread that ties my sanity together. She is like a luminescent lantern that illuminates me in this dark cage I call life. Every time I look at her, I remember the decision I made back then to keep her. She is my all.

I walk up to her as Robby tucks her in bed. They have, surprisingly, become best buddies.

Robby is another person who has helped me maintain my sanity in the last three months. He is a student I am teaching how to paint, and honestly, he is a better teacher than I am. His paintings are better even without me instructing them. Sometimes I don't see any need for him to come for lessons.

But all the same, he is the only request that my family has ever granted me since that fateful day. I needed something to keep me busy in this cage that they locked me and my child into. So I pleaded for them to let me at least practice my career, whose studies I did not even finish. I almost howled my poor, downcast soul out and cried my eyes out for them to grant me this. And it was worth the trouble. He weirdly manages to cheer me up.

"First, princess, stop calling him uncle because he is too young for that name. And second..."

Ahem!

I snap at Robby as he clears his throat, obviously not concurring with what I said.

"Don't mind your mom, chubby doll. I am Uncle Robby to you, and no one should tell you otherwise." Robby says it in his soft but deep voice. He does not even care to spare me a glance as they hi-five, smiling as if they want to light the whole world with their smiles.

Well, isn't he getting too comfortable with my child now?

"Okay, Uncle Robby. Take care of mommy while I take a nap. I am really sleepy." And just like that, Lyana, my sweet baby, does not even kiss me like she always does before going to bed. She just closes her eyes and snuggles into the duvet.

She knows absolutely nothing about the outside world. My poor baby! What does fate have in store for her? She should be in school, but she isn't. Why? Because no one should know that there is a bastard child in the honorable De'Mario family. The best plan my family could ever come up with some months ago, when I pleaded with them to allow me to enroll her in school, was that I should let one of our servants register her as her own. Absurd, right?

That is the most disgusting and absurd thing I have ever heard in my entire life. And I am not willing to do it, even if it means my child will remain uneducated. Her father denied her when she was just a seed. Same with them-these people I call family. She does not have a surname on her birth certificate. And now they expect me to hand her over to someone else? In the freaking name of what?

Never!

Not for anything in this world. And if there is one thing I have learned and embraced pretty well, it is taking responsibility for all of my actions. Lyana is my responsibility alone. I am not proud of messing up my life back then. I still blame myself for loving someone and entrusting my all to him so blindly, but I am so proud of the priceless gift that my mistake brought about. I could show her to the world if I could, and I will someday. Yeah, someday. It doesn't hurt to hope, right? So I am bracing my hopes, but until then, there is no freaking cursed soul that will give my own child a name as long as I am alive-she is Lyana Angel Salma as long as I live.

"You will tear the duvet if you do not calm yourself." Robby's voice startles me.

I did not realize I was digging my claws into the poor duvet. I stand up, heaving a sigh, as I stroll to the open window close to my painting area. This is the only place I get the liberty to sip the fresh aura most of the time. I can count the few times I have been allowed to step outside this cage.

"What were you thinking that made you react that way?" Robby asks, taking his place beside me as we stare through the window.

"You already know what, Robby." I respond without looking at him.

In the short time he has been my student, Robby knows so much about me, and he always shows too much concern and care for my situation. He gets me most of the things I need from the shops-my painting materials and all that I need for Lyana. It wasn't my intention to make him my errand boy; he offered the services out of his own free will. And he insisted until I could not say no anymore.

"I know how hard this has been for you. Honestly, I admire you for having gone through this all. There is no doubt you are a strong gem, Ayana. But how long can you bear it? You understand that this is no longer about you, but your baby too. Her future depends on you." Robby says, shifting in his posture to face me.

"I am still hoping that someday I will make it up for my child, Robby. Someday I will break free from this cage, but until then, I have to be strong for my child." I say, and a ray of hope strokes my walls as the words of my ghost boyfriend echo in my head.

Now, talking of Jerry, my ghost boyfriend, I don't know how he got my number. I don't even know what he looks like. All I know is that he said we met a long time ago at one of my family's events. He always jokes around my argument that I did not give him my number. And with the kind of influential and busy family we are, I cannot argue much. I can't remember even just a quarter of the faces I met when I was still a De'Mario. All the same, he messaged me a year ago after he missed me at several of my family's events and meetings.

Since then, not a single day has gone by without us talking. He expressed his interest in me, and, as odd as it sounds, we fell in love on the phone. Hopefully, I am not making another mistake. His words give me hope, and he speaks nothing but his good and pure intentions for me. Call me desperate or whatever you want, but he is my only hope. And I trust in him.

"But when will that be, Ayana?" Robby catches me off-guard as he hugs my shoulders, something that I did not expect because, even though we are free, I believe it is to this extent.

And we lock eyes, me in bewilderment and him speaking dominance. I have never seen him this way. I doubt he remembers that I am his teacher at this moment.

"Robby?" I whimper, but he doesn't move a muscle or blink. He is fixing his eyes on mine as if there is a message he is communicating. I shudder, but I still manage to hold myself. "What do you think you are doing, huh?" I implore, trying to break free from his grip, but I fail.

The kid is annoyingly strong for his age. But how old is he, anyway? I guess around 25? Well, he isn't a kid, but still, he should show some respect for his teacher.

"This is starting to break you, Ayana, and I cannot watch you break down. Please, let me help you. I have all the means to free you from this cage. Let me take you away from this cage."

His words hang in my head like a cloud, and my eyes dart into his, browsing for any tinge of sincerity in his words. But what about sincerity? He is my student. He has no reason to meddle in my affairs.

"And why would you help me, Robby? You are my student, and my problems are not yours. Why bother?" I implore after failing to get anything from his eyes.

"Ayana, listen. I am.."

The screeching sound of the door startles us, and we leap to untangle ourselves. But we were too late because my sister saw it all-how I was in my student's arms and our faces were just an inch apart.

"What the hell is going on here?" She squeals, looking at us with loathing.

Now, I think that question should be directed to her. What the heck is she doing here? Neither she nor my parents ever set foot in this cursed dungeon they threw me in. We only see face-to-face outside when I am allowed to catch some sunlight. So, what miracle happened today? Better still, what demons drove her here?

"See you in the next lesson on Monday, Robby." I say to Robby, my mind and eyes banked on Cynthia, who cannot take her eyes off Robby.

"Yes. Miss De'Mario!" Robby says this as he walks to grab his bag. "Excuse me." He says, strolling out while I walk to the table at the center of this cubicle, while Cynthia walks to me with a look that only God knows what it depicts.

"You never learn, do you?" Cynthia says, standing in front of me. Her tone is full of hatred, as is her stare. But I am used to this. Ever since I became the family's bad omen, she has forgotten even her respect for me as her elder sister. "I can't believe that you are now fooling around with your student. Where did your morals go, Ayana?

I closed the tiny gap that was between us, my heart throbbing with anger. She does not have any right to speak to me that way.

"You watch your mouth before I shut it for you, Cynthia! I am still your elder sister before anything. I demand some respect!" I fume, and for heaven's sake, she better not stroke my demons.

"Respect?" She sneers, taking a step back and smirking sarcastically. "Does that word even exist in your vocabulary? Did you stop even for a second to think of respect when you almost dragged our family name into the mud? When you were shamelessly throwing yourself at that nobody,

A resounding slap across her face sends her staggering back as she groans in agony. She asked for it, and I will not hold back from slapping her mouth if she dares to insult me ever again.

I have taken all the insults, mockery, rejection, and maltreatment. My poor innocent child is also tangled now in this mess; she has no fault whatsoever. And they aren't satisfied yet? Well, enough is enough. I won't take any more bullying again, especially not from this arrogant baby sister. She has balls! It was a one-time mistake, for crying out loud, and they will make me pay for it for the rest of my life? I accepted this hell they tossed me and my child into and accepted everything they threw at me, but this is as far as my patience goes.

"How dare you?" She squeals as she lifts her head, tears welling up in her eyes. Serves her right! That is nothing, so she better watch out.

"You will get more than just a slap if you dare insult me ever again. And I will break your bones if you wake my child up with your stupid squeals!" I warned after watching Lyana toss on the bed. It's a good thing she didn't wake up. I wouldn't want her to witness this. She is already bearing too much at her young age.

She smirks bitterly, massaging her cheek to soothe the pain.

"What do you even care about that kid, huh?" She asks as if she cares or as if she knows a fuck about being a parent. The nerve!

"More than you will ever know until you become a parent, Cynthia." I respond boldly and bitterly, because this is all their fault that my baby is suffering and being deprived of almost everything in this world. She knows nothing aside from me and this room. It's like she does not have a life.

"Well, I know being a parent means doing everything for our children, which is the opposite of what you are doing. Dad offered you a chance to enroll her in school, but you selfishly turned it down."

Ooh, yeah? Is it about that again?

"Then if that is what it means to be egocentric, I plead guilty as charged, and I am neither penitent nor will I ever alter my decision, come what may. If the world will not know my child as Lyana Angel Salma, then she is better off as a shadow to the world just like me!" I state.

It hurts. It stings so bad! God knows how much I do not want to do this to my only child, but there is no way I am giving my child another person's name. If it were my family's name, maybe, just maybe, I would have considered it. But a stranger's name? How will I even explain such absurdity to my child when she grows up and starts to ask questions? Heaven forbid!

And curse these obdurate, narcissistic, God-forsaken beings that God gave me as my family! How dare they torture me like this? Would they do what they are asking me to do if they were in my place? Oh well, anyway, I don't care. They can feast on their wretched offer as today's dinner, for all I care.

"You are hopeless and incapacitated, Ayana. I can't believe you are this dumb to not see that you do not have a choice here. If you don't grab this opportunity we are offering you, your child will be far worse than you-a total nobody whose shadow will not even see the world. Is that what you want for the child you claim to love so much?" She mocks, and oooh, her emotional blackmail won't work on me.

"I alone will worry about my own child. She is mine alone to care for, and I honestly don't understand why you all are making a fuss about her now. You have not cared about her since I got pregnant. Why now all of a sudden?" I arch an eyebrow because something is beginning to smell fishy here.

She shakes her head, making sure that if there is any motive behind all of this, I do not get a tinge of it. But screw her! I am certain that her mere presence in this cell is more formidable proof that they are up to something. Up to no good. And this Lyana issue? Something is not right here. I can sense it. I can feel it. Anyone would sense it.