Rekindling Joel's Heart

" There's no pain greater and more intense than heartbreak as it rips one's heart and soul. "

***

- Joel -

There were tears in her eyes.

I'd hurt her.

She loves me.

I shouldn't have said that to her.

But what could I have said?

I'd said what I had to.

What has happened has happened.

There's no reversing of it.

...

Earlier,

" Do you think there will be rain today? " That was the question Cecile had asked me when she came out of her home looking so beautiful in a blue off-shoulder prom dress.

" Nah... I don't think so. " She nodded.

I'd helped her into my car which I'd earned after saving for so many years and dancing to my Aunt's tunes.

" Thank you. "

Prom was great as always,

But it reminded me of Jemmy, my love who I'd always dreamt of attending prom with.

I didn't realize I'd zoned out until Cecile called my attention to it. " Are you okay, Joe? " Her voice was soft as ever and it reminded me of her, Jemmy.

" Yeah, I am. " I'd replied, though I was far from it.

Wise men say,

Only fools rush in.

But I can't -

The lyrics were like poison to my already wounded heart, it's been over a year and I'd thought I was all over it.

But I was wrong.

Listening to it right now, reminded me of it all.

Everything I'd been trying to forget.

Her eyes.

Her face.

Her voice.

The way she called me, " Joel. " which never ceased to make my heart skip a beat.

" Jemmy. " My heart tightened as the song continued.

I had Cecile in my arms, but I could only think of her.

My first love.

" The song is so heartfelt. " Her voice rang in my ears before our eyes locked and I saw it again in her eyes.

That look.

Oh no.

This can't be happening.

" Yeah. " I said simply, trying to keep my emotions in check.

" Hm... " Despite noticing the disappointment in her orbs, I paid it no attention.

***

" And the winner for the best couple award goes to... " I felt my heart in my throat as anticipation hit me.

Why was I feeling this way?

I'd never been concerned about these things.

Until...

" Joel Maverick and Cecile Grayson. "

Wait, what?

No.

Jemmy.

How could they?

How could this be possible?

" I can't wait for us to attend prom together, Joel. " She said in our last chat.

" Yeah... me too. " I held her hand, while we gazed at the sun.

" Do you think we can win the best couple award? " Her question got me thinking deeply.

As someone who had always struggled with self-doubt, her question made me question what I'd always told myself.

" Maybe. "

" I believe we'll win if we want to. "

" Yeah. "

" It would be nice seeing you wear the crown on that day, you know. "

" Same here. "

....

" Joel. " Her voice made me snap out of my dazed state.

" Yeah? "

" We've won. " I stared at her and for a moment there, I wasn't seeing Cecile, but Jemmy.

" Yeah. " I said, as our gaze locked again.

" Can the winners please come on stage to get their crowns? " Those words interrupted me from my thoughts and I brought my gaze to face the stage.

" Let's go. " I nodded, as we held hands and made our way to the stage.

" They look super good together. " The squeals and shrieks didn't do any good in making me feel better at all.

" There you go. " The metal made a crick sound as it was placed on my forehead.

I watched Cecile being crowned too and the moment felt ethereal, Because for a moment. I was living Jemmy's dream.

" Promise me you'll live on when I'm gone, Joel. " Her last words rang in my mind.

I can't.

How can I live when you are my lifeline?

How?

" Finally, we've got our prom king and queen. " A round of applause followed that declaration.

I wanted to be happy, but I couldn't.

I wanna feel something, but I can't.

***

Later,

" Why don't we head to the magnificent beach before heading home? " Cecile suggested when we were in my car.

" Okay. " I nodded reluctantly, all I wanted to do was head home but as it was probably the last time we'd be seeing each other. I decided to give in to her.

" We are here. " I nodded, slowly getting out of the car.

The sand was cool and soft.

Walking on it after so many years reminded me of her, Jemmy.

We'd promised to love each other till the end, hadn't we?

I wish I had known that young love mostly ends in heartbreak.

I wish I had.

" The stars are beautiful, Joe. "

" Yeah. " She turned to me and I saw it again, those raw emotions.

" Joel. "

" Yeah? "

" Ever thought of why I'd stayed despite you being so adamant on pushing me away? " Her voice was soft and sweet, like my favorite ice cream.

" Yeah. " I whimpered, preparing myself for what's coming.

" Because.... "

" I love you, Joel. " Those words, it felt as if I'd been struck by lightning as the intensity of them hit me.

" Cecile... " I stared at her not knowing how to react, and just before I could stop myself. I pulled her into my arms and claimed her lips with mine.

Emotions clouded my vision as the kiss intensified and by the time we'd separated. I had tears in my eyes.

" Joel. " I stared at the most beautiful eyes in the world as a lump formed in my throat.

" Cecile. " My fists were tightened beside me as I deeply contemplated what I was going to say.

" I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same. " The way her lips trembled at my words, made my heart ache and I knew instantly that I'd hurt her, even though that's the last thing I wanted to do.

" Why? " The pain in her eyes was so raw that I forced myself to look away for a moment.

" You are perfect, Cecile. I want to love you, but I just can't. "

" Why? " I wiped out the tears that fell out of my eyes and brought her palm to my chest. " That? It only beats for Her, Jemmy. " The pain in her eyes was evident and her mouth formed an ohhh. Before I knew what was going on, she'd snatched her palms from my hold and stood up.

" I hate you. " She spat before running off.

I never saw her again.

But that wasn't the point.

The pain in my heart was unbearable.

" You are so deserving of love, Joel. " My Aunt's voice rang in my ears as memories came flashing in my mind.

Ones I'd tried so hard to forget; The day I'd lost my purity to my Aunt.

" Please let me go. " I'd cried, whilst struggling to break free from her hold.

" You are going nowhere, Joel. You are mine. " And I've been since that very day.

I wish I was stronger to resist her.

But I'm weak, as always.

....

A/N: Wow. That was quite intense. What do you think, guys?

" Some people could brighten up the day without having to do anything at all. "

****

- Joel -

The deserted hallways never ceased to remind me of my pain which hadn't stopped since the very moment I watched her breathe her last.

Life, they say, is beautiful, but mine has lost its meaning ever since I lost her.

" Look around you and see the beauty of life. " Her voice still rings in my ears. I looked around and couldn't see anything, probably because I'd lost the ability to see when I lost her.

" Sierra, won't you go to the party? " I heard giggles behind me, and it hurt me to realize that they've all moved on, everyone in school. It's almost like she never left and no one misses her.

But how could they? I can literally feel her presence everywhere I go.

In the deserted hallways, I feel her presence looming all over. In the music room, I can hear her singing along to the tunes.

At the cafeteria, I can hear her voice as she happily chats with her best friends. How could they forget? How?

I didn't realize when I got to class until I received a pat on the back.

" Stella? " I formed a smile, seeing the longing in her dark eyes.

If one thing, I know she understood my pain as she could relate well with it.

" Joel. " Her voice was filled with so much understanding that I felt my heart ache. " Yes? "

" She'll want us to move on, you know. " My heart tightened at her words. Jemmy would want that too.

" Yeah. "

" It's hard, I know. "

" Yeah. "

" But we'll be fine. " I nodded with a smile. " Yeah. "

" Take care, Joel. "

I nodded off at her as she went to her table, and I did the same as the math teacher made his way into the class.

" Master Joel? " I looked up from the mud house I was painting to stare at the health prefect, Andrew.

" Yes? "

" The principal calls for you. " I nodded. " Thank you. "

On my way to the principal's office, I found myself constantly pondering why I was being summoned by the principal. I'd never been summoned by any teacher, not to talk of the principal. So I wonder why. I've always been on my best behavior, partly because my scholarship was at stake but also because that's who I am.

" Whoosh. " The impact came too fast, as I wasn't able to prepare myself for it as I crash-landed with the personnel on me. " Ouch. " I couldn't help letting out as my back hit the ground and the weight fell on my chest.

" Pain. " Coming back to my senses, that was the first thing I experienced.

My eyes fluttered open slowly, wavy black ebony hair, which covered half of her face was the first thing that caught my attention.

Jemmy?

I caught sight of the well-manicured nails which were almost just as Jemmy's.

" Oh boy. " The personnel raised her heads up. Oh no, her eyes.

It felt like time stopped as our eyes locked. How could it be? Jemmy?

Could I be hallucinating or what?

How could someone look so much like another person? If I hadn't known better then I would have thought she was the latter's sister.

But that's impossible, right?

Jemmy's younger sister didn't look anything like her, though her younger brother was a carbon copy of her.

" Am I dreaming? " I thought to myself, staring at the girl who still had her eyes locked on me. She was staring at me with such intensity that I wondered if we'd met her before. But I will remember if we had, right?

And at last, the girl lifted herself from me and I stood up finally. " You should be more careful. " I said, still unable to look away from her. It seemed like my eyes had been completely glued to hers as I just couldn't.

" Hm. Thank you. " Her voice was soft, her face completely flushed.

Soft? Jemmy? How could it be? I stared at the girl in front of me who bore a huge resemblance to Jemmy.

Am I being played with? Just when I'm slowly recovering from my grief, I was being greeted by a girl who looked exactly like my lost love.

How cruel is this actually?

" You are welcome. Take care. " I found my voice at long last and turned around to leave.

" Wait. " I was frozen in shock when her palm made contact with my wrists. " What's it? " I turned towards her, trying to keep my anger at bay. Why was I annoyed? I wondered.

" Thank you once again for helping me. I am Cecile Grayson. " She said with a smile, stretching her palms towards me.

" It's my pleasure. I am Joel Maverick. " I took her palm reluctantly, obviously trying not to be rude.

I almost retracted my palm the moment the connection was made, her palm was as soft as Jemmy's. What's going on actually? I wondered.

" You've got a very beautiful name, Joel. "

" Yeah. Thank you. " I replied, staring dumbly at her.

" See you around, Joel. " She smiled at me.

" Same here. " I replied, finally walking away.

I was late for the principal's office.

I just hope he doesn't get angry because of this.

Well, whatever.

***

A/N: Hehehehe. What do you think, guys?

" No matter your circumstances, remember life is a beautiful gift. "

****

Meanwhile, Cecile, who was left standing in the corridors, dusted her uniform, before picking up her pink backpack from the ground and dusting it with her handkerchief.

" Will you ever learn? You'd even embarrassed yourself on the first day of school. What a clumsy girl. " She shook her head, with a helpless high.

She strapped her backpack around her, before treading on the path Joel had just taken.

***

Joel had just taken a step into the administration block when he recalled how nervous most students were whenever they had to step into this block.

Yet, he didn't feel nervous despite knowing that this summoning might be for his good or bad, though the worst that could happen was that he'd lose his scholarship. But he shouldn't be afraid since he'd done nothing wrong, right?

***

I knocked on the door thrice, and only twisted the knob when I gained permission to and slowly made my way into the magnificent office, which looked more like a library than an actual office.

The lighting wasn't too dim or bright, just normal as I love it. Not like my opinion mattered anyway.

I caught sight of the principal, Fredrick Henderson who sat behind a gigantic desk filled with diverse school reports. A laptop was seated in the middle of the mahogany desk, which he had his eyes glued to.

Despite the number of papers on his desk, it didn't look crowded at all. Then it struck me that there's nothing like being too busy, as we often make time for things and people that are important to us.

Given how busy he is, Mr Fredrick could have left his desk looking disorderly, yet he chose to be neat.

Unlike what I'd been expecting, Mr Fredrick wasn't using a spectacle like most men his age. It made me wonder, just how different we human beings are from each other.

" There you are. Joel Maverick. " I was brought out of my thoughts at the sound of his voice.

" Good day, Sir. " I bowed as a form of respect.

" Good day to you too, Joel. " I was stunned by his smile. Am I dreaming?

" I'm sorry if my summoning was so sudden. You must have been wondering what you've done wrong to have been summoned all of a sudden, isn't it? "

" Yes, Sir. " I replied awkwardly, still not used to the lightness of his tone. Mr Fredrick was rumored to be very serious and strict, so what's going on here?

" Well, I was told to pass you this envelope. " He fished out a brown envelope from one of the desk drawers and handed it to me.

" Thank you, Sir. " I bowed on receiving the letter from him.

" You are welcome. Keep being an exceptional student. " His unexpected compliment made a smile form on my lips. " I will, Sir. Thank you. " I bowed for the umpteenth time.

" You - " The sudden opening of doors, interrupted him as we both stared at the door at the intruder. Who dares to enter the principal's office without knocking?

It didn't take me so long to find out who it was, Cecile Grayson - The girl who had bumped into me earlier.

She walked confidently into the office, as if it was hers and bowed when she got to the principal's desk. " Good day, Principal. "

" Good day to you too, Cecile. How many times have I told you to always knock before walking into someone's office? "

" I'm sorry, I forgot. I will try not to next time, Principal. " She nodded dramatically and I couldn't help what their relationship was, watching the camaraderie play out between them.

" Joel, meet my youngest niece, Cecile Grayson. " My lips formed an o, at his words.

" Nice to meet you, Cecile. " I smiled, trying to act formal.

" It's you, Joel! " As expected, Cecile couldn't hide her emotions.

" Yeah. "

" You've met? " The surprise in his voice was evident and I couldn't help smiling.

" Yes, Principal. I'd bumped into him earlier, he was a gentleman in making sure I sustained no injuries. "

[ A/N: Aw, I love Cecile's character already! What about you, guys? ]

" When will you quit being so clumsy, Cecile? " Though he was scolding her, I could sense the amusement in his voice.

" I don't know, Principal. " He shook his head helplessly, before turning his gaze to me.

" Thank you for saving her from falling, Joel. " His words got me surprised, and I was at a loss for words for several seconds before finally finding my voice.

" It's alright, Sir. I simply did what anyone would have done. "

" Aw, How humble. " Cecile's silent mumble caught my attention and I couldn't help sighing. How could someone be so open and shameless?

" Cecile! "

" Sorry, Principal. " I was no longer surprised at how fast it took her to bow.

" You'll never change. " He sighed helplessly. " Anyways, you should wait here while I send someone to call on the student's president to show you around. "

" There's no need for that, Principal. "

" Oh, Why not? "

" Because Joel here can do that instead. " My eyes dilated in shock, at her words. Me? I still wasn't sure I'd completely forgiven her for bumping into me earlier. " Right, Joel? " Our eyes locked right at that moment and I got lost in her orbs, the ones that remind me so much of my love, Jemmy.

" Is that okay with you, Joel? " I smiled at the uncertainty in his voice. It seemed like he'd finally realized how much of a handful his niece was.

" It is, Principal. " The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

" Okay, You can both head back to class now. You can start the tour at your leisure time, later. "

" Alright, Principal. " I bowed along with Cecile, who I somehow felt was an expert at it.

" Hm. You can leave now. " We nodded, as we made our way out of the office.

" Joel. " I paused in my steps to stare at her. " Thank you for today. "

" You are welcome. " I smiled, not expecting that from her.

" Friends? " She stretched her right hand towards me and for a moment there, I didn't know how to react. How could I tell her that I wasn't ready for a friendship? How can I tell her I was probably too broken to care for another person?

" Friends. " I nodded, shaking her hand reluctantly.

" We'll be the best of friends, Joe. " It felt like my brain stopped working on hearing the nickname.

Jemmy.

Only she called me that.

I stared at the girl in front of me who was a replica of Jemmy and I wondered.

Do I want to be friends with this girl, who reminds me so much of my lost love? Do I?

.....

A/N: Awn, what do you think, guys?

Awaiting your responses!

Take care (⁠*⁠_⁠*⁠).