Reclaiming My Beloved Dragon Prince

[Carnelia]

My husband, Primus. Is dead.

My mate gave his life because he loved his wife and children so much that he was willing to die for them to have a chance at life.

Primus was the very best of mates. He taught me how to love.

I would gladly die a million deaths to have him by my side again.

But he died at his own brother's hands, another victim of the Starfell War.

Or at least, that is what I need to tell myself, because to admit the truth would be madness.

My wings, as black as night, float around me as they transform, and I fall into my preferred form, one more human than dragon. Now they are the gossamer sleeves of an elegant silk gown, my scales are gold sequins that make up the bodice and skirt. My hair, braided in hundreds of golden tendrils, is piled upon my head, the crown gifted to me on my wedding day woven between the strands.

On my wrist, a black bangle connects me to the Celestial Realm. On my hand, the ring that once connected me to my love.

I never thought I'd return to this place. But here I am, begging for aid.

Not for myself, but for what is left of my husband.

As I enter the breezeway, I am announced. Finely clad bodies swivel in my direction as elegantly adorned dragons and other creatures from all the many nations on our planet turn to see the infamous queen of the heavens--the queen who was a human until she married a prince and became a dragon herself.

"Queen Carnelia, welcome," Eleanora's smile falters as she takes in my elegant appearance. I think she was expecting me to be more human. "We weren't expecting you."

As she says these words, she motions to the throne on her left.

I turn my head to follow her hand and all time stops as my eyes adjust to what I am seeing.

Sitting in front of me on a high throne carved from stone is a drake who looks just like my husband. Except that I know it can't be him, because if Primus was alive and well enough to receive guests, he would be at my side, with our children.

"I require your assistance as Queen of Luxandra" I bow graciously, tipping my head at an appropriate level as I complete a high court curtsy. I rise to see startled faces throughout the crowd, not the least of all is the queen herself.

"I see," she replies simply. "And how can us lowly Terrans help someone as powerful as yourself?" Some of the lords and ladies in the audience chuckle.

"My children are sick," I explain. "And the cure is here, in Luxandra."

"My condolences," she replies with a small, pitying smile. "I do not see ..."

"We need your help," I try to explain again, even though I realize my words are falling on deaf ears. I turn my body towards the corpse of my husband and beg. "Please, Primus, your children need you. I need you."

A guard steps between me and the throne. I had taken several steps forward without realizing it. Eleanora's eyes are wide with shock.

"We heard your plea, Queen Carnelia," Queen Eleanora speaks, her voice as clear and calm as water despite the terrified gleam to her eye. "But I don't see how that is a concern of Luxandra. The health of a Celestial Dragon is a matter for the Celestial kingdom, is it not?"

"My children are dying, Queen Eleanora," I try to keep my own tone calm even though my heart is raging. "If it were your children in pain, would you stop fighting for them?"

She sits there, observant, her hand on her perfectly formed chin. She inclines her golden head towards Primus, who does nothing but sit there, looking straight ahead.

"We can be merciful," she smiles benevolently as if bestowing a great gift. "Bring your children to us. Luxandra will gladly provide the care they need in exchange for new trade routes and the reopening of the Eastern Gate..."

This petty, vengeful drakaina is using my children as leverage to get what she has wanted all along. I want to curse her name and set her throne on fire, but that won't get us what we need. My children need me to come back to them with a solution.

"Alone?" if they weren't in so much pain, I wouldn't be considering this farce of a negotiation. She's been trying to get me to give up one of my children in exchange for renegotiating our treaty, and now she is using my children's illness to force my hand.

"Of course not," her smile brightens. "Each child would be allowed one servant each."

"I would need to stay with them myself as well," I insist, my back straight as I look her directly in the eye. "For safety, of course."

"Of course," she inclines her head in agreement. Her eyes are kind, but her smile is poisonous, with just a touch of fang and no trace of the false kindness from before.

"The gate doesn't open until they are all cured," I declare. There is no way I intend to open a pathway into my country putting everyone at risk when she may very well be lying about extending her help or having the skills to help in the first place.

"Until they have all RECEIVED the cure," she clarifies. "I cannot guarantee that it will work equally well on all of them. I want to make sure there is no misunderstanding between us if we intend to proceed in this... arrangement."

There is so much to consider. So many risks.

But my children. I would risk anything to save them.

I give the other throne one more look. He doesn't move. He is no more my husband than a stone or a stick or any other inanimate object. My Primus would never sit still and expressionless while standing before him, begging for the lives of our children.

My Primus would destroy the world to keep us safe.

So this cannot be Primus.

This stranger is merely a ghost of him.

A body without a soul.

And yet, I cannot take my eyes off of him.

Primus.

I feel a small flutter of something like fear vibrate into my body from the ring on my hand.

Could it be...?

Looking over, Primus is still the same.

"Queen Carnellia...?" Eleanora's voice is strained as she attempts to regain my attention. I pull my eyes away from the throne next to her to meet her gaze. Her eyes are cold and hard, although her tone is gentle. "Do we have a deal?"

"Yes," I respond. "We have a deal."

[Carnelia]

The dead, cold, glare of Primus' eyes followed me on my flight back home. He survived, and I know I should be grateful that my mate still breathes, but I am having a hard time finding my gratitude.

I want to take him into my arms and fly him back with me. I want to do a lot of things that just aren't possible.

As I approach the closed gate, I take my fourth form, becoming a dragon made of little more than light in the shape of my winged self. I've only been able to take this shape in recent weeks, even with an entire kingdom of others to learn from. Despite being a universal dragon who can take the form of any other dragon I encounter, there are still a few things I need to learn the long way around.

Ona is waiting for me when I materialize within the landing dock of our closed gate. Princess Ursa, who is officially our heir, is standing by her mother, learning from her as she once learned from her grandmother, how to rule the Celestial Kingdom. After the events of the previous war, we decided that it would be wise to have more than two people with access to opening and closing the Celestial gates and also the day-to-day running of our realm. The knowledge we preserve for future generations is too important to leave to chance.

Rolling my shoulders back, I take my tallest stance, stretching my spine and extending my horns until I am at my maximum height, and using a clear, calm voice, request that the attending guards and other workers exit the room. Everyone files out smoothly, giving their monarchs their needed time alone.

All except for one--Ursa. She is standing proudly next to her mother, her attempts at seeming serene marred by a slight immature haughtiness around her eyes and mouth. Seeing that look on her face reminds me so strongly of her uncle Primus that I almost moan in pain.

It has been a long day.

As much as I have grown to love my niece, her stubborn nature, a Majere family trait, is more than I can handle at this moment. After seeing the shell of a drake that was once my husband, it is taking all of my energy not to scream at her to leave. I look towards Ursa, and then back towards Ona, my eyes still, afraid to blink, afraid to feel lest I feel too much all at once.

"Ursa, can you go check on your cousins," Ona smiles at her daughter, dismissing her kindly so that we can be alone. "Auntie Carnelia and I need a moment."

She gives a small, tight smile. Like most young people, she doesn't like being left out of things. She is, after all, getting close to her majority and will soon be ready to seek out her mate. She isn't a hatchling any longer.

But she is still a child. It will be hundreds of years before she is ever called to take this throne from her mother. And one of the first lessons of any good ruler is humility.

And also grace--especially when you are upset.

A few of the plants in the room wither and die as she passes, her powers flaring with her anger as she leaves the room in a swirl of fabric, the plasma dancing along the edges of her skin.

As soon as the doors slide closed behind her. I release all the tension I have been holding inside. I am finally safe to feel, and every emotion I have been holding back pushes down on me all at once. My shoulders slump, my eyes tear, and with one deep exhale I scream so loud that the walls rattle.

"Little Sister," Ona pulls me into her arms, wrapping me in her warmth as she pets the hair between my horns. "Tell me about it. Tell me everything."

Crying against her shoulder, I poured out the emotions of the day: Confronting Eleanora, her demands, and Primus. Dear gods, Primus.

"So he is alive," Ona's clawed hand clasps the bracelet around her arm, the one made of Jade that connects her to her surviving brother. "When the bracelet went cold I.."

"Me too," I agree, not needing to hear the rest. Even though Eleanora claimed that she had Primus this whole time, when I had lost that feeling of connection, when my ring went cold, I assumed that he was gone, just as Ona had when her bracelet stopped transmitting. We just assumed he died in captivity and that the Luxandrian queen was lying.

"I'm not sure I would call what I saw today 'alive,'" My lips start to quiver as I think of the hollow way he looked at me, lacking all recognition. He barely moved, and barely seemed to be aware of anything. "His eyes didn't swirl, Ona, they didn't glow. He didn't recognize me. I told him about our babies and he didn't even flinch. Not a single blink!"

My chest is moving up and down rapidly as I try to explain the horror of what I saw, my body and mind unable to find any equilibrium between what we saw and what is possible.

Primus would never leave his family to suffer like this.

"But he still breathes," Ona's eyes are bright with hope, glowing with red embers as she considers my expression. "Don't be sad, Little Sister. I promised you we would get him back and that is exactly what we will do." She pulls me in for a sideways hug, rubbing my arms, and warming me with her love and nurturing care.

"If it was just about Primus it would be hard enough, but she wants my children, Ona. It's always been about my children," I start to weep again, my body weak and my heart weaker. "If I didn't know better, I'd blame her for their sickness. I wouldn't put anything past her to make children suffer for her advantage.."

Ona nods in understanding. "She is so much like Segundus it's uncanny. You'd think they were fated mates based on how well they balanced one another."

Segundus was twisted and cruel. He enslaved an entire race of dragons just to power his cities. The world is a much safer place now that he doesn't walk it.

We hold one another in silence as we think about the harm Segundus caused. The horrors we saw are things we cannot unsee even when we close our eyes. The faces of the dead left behind in those facilities follow me into my dreams.

"I have an idea, but it's risky." Ona takes a deep breath, shaking us free from the chill of our thoughts. "But whether we go this route will depend on how much you are willing to risk to get Primus back at your side."

I would burn the world to have him back. But I keep that secret in my heart.

"What do you have in mind?" I say instead, my heart is racing as I consider the possibilities. I have a feeling that whatever Ona has in mind is daring, cunning, and possibly more complicated than necessary.

She looks out the window at the glowing planet below. The closed gates are the only thing keeping us from being attacked at any moment by Luxandra. They have weapons that can destroy us all, and ways to contain and enslave us. Our only advantage is our separation.

Which is why my body went completely still when she relayed the first part of her plan.

"We will also need to open the Northern Gate."

"We haven't opened the gate since the Starfell War," I remind her. "And Luxandra is hardly safe enough for us to allow free passage, why would we...what would be the reason?"

"Well officially," Ona smirks, "It would be to participate in the All Kingdom Faire in Luxandra starting at the beginning of the season. We have been formally invited, most likely because they need our technology to solve their problems, and they are hoping to gain access to it easily."

"Unofficially," Ona's smile grows wider, "Our plan will be to make sure that enough of our people are on the ground to make a rescue attempt."

"And you think the Luxandrians will fall for this? Won't they think it is suspicious that after months of saying no we suddenly open our gates to attend a faire, one that we already officially declined?"

"Honestly," Ona bites the end of one of her talons, "I think they'll be so excited about the opportunity to sneak into our country and steal our secrets that they'll ignore it if we do the same. Besides," she shrugs, "they've wanted us to reopen our trade routes for some time now, we could say this is a trial run."

"And the children? Do we need to..."

"We need to get a cure," Ona agrees. "But we still have some time. Maybe we can..."

I feel an intense jolt of pain along my right ear, where eight small stone loops connect me to each of my children.

The pain is so intense my body folds in half.

"Carnelia!"

"It's the babies. Oh gods, they are in pain."

We rush to the intensive care unit. My little hatchlings, all eight of them, are writhing in pain.

"What is happening," I demand of the nearest healer, whose red-scaled face goes ashen at the sight of his angry queen. "What did you do?"

"Nothing, Your Grace," one of the other healers replies calmly. "They all just started screaming all together. It isn't unusual for clutchmates to be close, but if I didn't know better, I'd swear they are feeling each other's pain creating a loop of sorts, magnifying the effect."

"But what set them off?" I yell.

"Calm yourself, My Queen," the lead healer demands, his voice stern. "For the sake of your babies, you need to calm your voice and your movements. Your anxiety is only adding to their pain."

I place a hand on my oldest daughter, Cosima, who is a universal dragon like myself. Humming, I pet her between her nubby little horns, rubbing my fingers down her scaled spine. Her breathing starts to calm with my touch, her screams slowly fading into a whimper.

Soon her siblings are quiet as well, the only sound in the room is their ragged breathing as they struggle between forms, neither dragonkin nor lizard.

Once they are all soundly sleeping and calm, I turn to the healers.

"How much time do they have, before," I gulp. "Before it is too late? Last time you said it was weeks, maybe even months but now..."

"Days," the healer looks at his feet, afraid to meet my gaze. "I'm sorry Your Grace, but if your babies do not receive proper care soon, they may only have days to live."

[Carnelia]

I tried to stay strong and be regal and centered, but seeing my babies suffer made me hesitate to leave them even for a moment. What if I took a selfish moment to be somewhere else only to find they had taken a dark turn? Could I forgive myself if they stopped breathing while I was off attending to a personal need?

What kind of mother am I to leave them like I did when they were suffering? I should have sent someone else to speak on my behalf.

After seeing them struggle, I stayed there with them all night, refusing to leave. I also had all my food and other essentials brought here, setting up camp in a comfortable corner of the infirmary. I plan to be here for every moment they have left even if that means I do nothing but watch for the next week.

This situation feels so impossible, I can't think of anything better to do.

I place a hand on my two smallest babies, Nyx and Nox. They are both shadow dragons and hatched on the same day within minutes of one another, giving them the nickname "the twins." They were the last two eggs in my clutch of eight to be laid and the last two eggs to hatch. The eggs were so small and underdeveloped that everyone, including the healers, assumed they wouldn't ever hatch.

But just as we were about to give up home, they proved us all wrong.

Which makes it so much harder to see them suffering now. They seem to have gotten the worst of the condition as well, sometimes disappearing into mist and shadow as their bodies try to make sense of their 4th form while also processing the other three. None of the other babies have shown this particular symptom, for which I am grateful. Every time I see these two shift, I fear it might be the last time I see them at all.

The healers cannot be certain, but based on their observations, they think that even after a cure, these two may have a lifetime of difficulty ahead of them.

They were hatched into suffering and continue to suffer only to possibly suffer for the rest of their lives, even after receiving the cure. And the only way I will get the cure for them is to offer them up to the Luxandrian queen as an offering of peace. It would cost her nothing to give us the cure. But instead of building alliances for the sake of peace, she chooses to use my family as a way to blackmail me into submission.

Once she has my children, there is no guarantee that she won't use their illness as a tool against me, giving them the cure only to take it away before they are completely healed to teach me a lesson. "Oh Primus, why did you leave me to do this alone?"

I massage my babies' backs as they toss and turn. I smile, as I watch them sleep, knowing that every breath is a miracle of sorts, considering I grew up believing I was human and had the fortune of falling in love with a dragon prince.

Leaning against the edge of their crib, I let my eyes close, the feeling of their heartbeats underneath my fingertips calming my frazzled nerves. Each beat of their heart is an affirmation. This is real. They are real. And out there, in the dark, their father is also real.

But he is dead to me. And soon, they might be as well.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, Ona was kneeling, shaking me.

I sit up with a ragged gasp.

"Little Sister," Ona clasps my shoulders firmly, giving me another shake. "You need to get some proper rest. The babies will still be here when you wake up."

"You can't know that!" I snap, standing. "What do you know about having little ones to care for? What do you know about wondering if their next breath will be their last? You have no idea what it feels like to be a mother, never mind a mother watching her babies slowly die. You abandoned your babies before they even hatched!"

Ona's eyes widen as my words land, each one stinging her like a hard, vicious slap to her spirit and pride. Her movements are fluid, she rises slowly until she can meet my gaze eye to eye.

"I'm sorry, Ona, I..." I should have never called her motherhood into question. She has done so much to amend the consequences of her choices.

"I know you didn't mean it, Carnelia," she fumes, her voice hard. "You're right, I don't know how it feels to be you right now because I've never been in your situation. However," she takes a deep breath, her fists clenching as she adds, "That doesn't mean I don't care about your pain or that of my nieces and nephews. I may have missed my children's hatching and their childhood, but it was because that was what needed to be done to keep them safe. My father and brother would have killed them if they knew they existed. I didn't have a choice."

"Ona..." I whisper her name, feeling even worse for making her relive one of her most difficult decisions. "I'm sorry that I hurt you, but you must understand why I need to be here," I plead, "and why I can't leave them now."

"I know why you might believe that," her tone is blunt, her eyes glowing red as she turns to face me. "But you can trust me when I say that no amount of suffering on your part will make this problem magically disappear," she flings her hands up with a flourish. "You need to snap out of this...funk and become the queen and mother they need you to be."

"But I need to protect them, I need to be here for them. What if..."

"Stop risking their lives by playing the martyr." she hisses as she steps forward, fire spiraling around her fingertips. "I don't know what it is about you and my brother, but you both tend to want to wallow in your misery instead of removing the obstacle in your way. What you are doing now," she continues scolding me, her eyes hot coals burning in frustration and anger, "Is not serving them or you. None of this will make them well or bring Primus back. The only one who can do that is you. So stop wasting time!" she looks me up and down, shaking her head. "If this is going to work, you need to pack, plan, and train."

"Train?" I shake my head. "I'm not in the mood, Ona, for one of your training sessions right now. There are better things we could be doing with that time and..."

"That's where you're wrong," she interrupts me, raising a red-taloned hand to silence me. "You must continue to fine-tune your powers as a universal dragon. Your secret is our biggest superpower. As far as anyone on the surface knows, you are just a sun dragon, and not a particularly strong one." She smirks. "Universal dragons are so rare, most of them will have never seen another in their lifetimes. We will use that to our advantage, Little Sister," her grin becomes predatory, the edges of her lips curling gleefully as she contemplates what might happen next. "The Luxandrians will not see us coming until it's too late."

"Now come," she looks over her shoulder. "You have 15 minutes to make it to the training mats before I return and force you." She gives me another self-satisfied grin over her shoulder as she lets a spark of lightning flash between her finger and thumb. "Either way, you will join me."

Ona never gives idle threats. That is the first thing to understand about my Sister Queen. Never cross her and never test her. She may look beautiful and even delicate, but she will leave you as burning ashes before you even question whether or not it is a good idea to cross her.

It isn't. Ona is hard even for her family. Especially to her family, because she loves us enough to care.

Since coming to the Celestial Kingdom, Ona has taken it upon herself to help develop my powers to make me into a "true universal dragon." What it takes to truly become this mythical creature is a bit of a mystery, because it is so rare, and even when it does happen that a dragon is a universal dragon, and they understand what they are, there is no good reason to admit it.

To be a universal dragon is to have the powers of creation at your fingertips. There is no limit, as far as we can tell, to the powers I can learn and absorb. Universal dragons can take the shape and abilities of any other dragon type they encounter, especially those they spend an extended time within close physical proximity.

Learning to be a sun dragon was easy, almost second nature. It is the type of dragon my mother, Jana, was. Since I spent several months developing within her, growing within my egg, I am naturally familiar with everything that makes a Sun Dragon unique. When I have to choose my natural form, it is always that of a sun dragon.

Ona believes I might have a different, truer form, but we have yet to unlock it, possibly because I have yet to be in the presence of another universal dragon.

The only forms I have so far perfected are sun, fire, and, of course, earth dragon types. I'll never forget what it means to be loved by an Earth dragon. I did, after all, hatch one of the most powerful Earth dragons, eight remarkable children--Children that I now need to save by learning any skill I can to give us an advantage. It won't be enough to cure them--I also need to find a way to keep them and hopefully bring their father home as well.

When the doors to the sparing room slide open, the first thing I notice is that the room is surprisingly full. Usually, when we train, it is just me and Ona with maybe one or two other dragons for me to learn from.

This time there are at least twenty, possibly more.

"What is this," I search Ona's face, hoping to find some clarity.

The edges of her mouth twist up with an almost malicious glee as she announces her intentions. "Today we are going to test your limits, Little Sister. Truly test them. You are going to spar with each of these dragons. You will learn how they move, how they attack, and how they defend. You will see them in each of their forms. They have all been commanded to not back down until you can demonstrate the ability to take on all of their forms while under stress."

"But what about getting ready to go?" I protest, looking back the way I came. "Don't I need to pack and..."

Waving a dismissive hand she laughs. "That's what servants are for, Little Sister. Right now this is your job."

The first dragon I face is my nephew, Orion. He is a very unique type of dragon, a combination of fire, sky, and water--a storm dragon. There have been other storm dragons in the past, but currently, he is the only one living in the Celestial Kingdom.

"He's just a boy!" I glare at Ona. "I am not hurting him."

"He's not a boy, he is a powerful drake proven in battle. He is also your opponent. You can choose not to spar, but that will just make it easier for him to defeat you."

His eyes grow hard, glowing blue as he rises from the ground while in his human form, lightning shooting from his hands and feet.

I cross my arms, pouting. "No."

Orion nods to his mother and then, without lifting a finger, he turns to me. His eyes are mesmerizing, enchanting me as they spin and swirl--just before shooting daggers of light from his irises, aimed directly at my chest.

"Are you trying to kill me?"

"No," his grin is a mirror copy of his mother's. "If I were trying to kill you, I'd do this."

As he raises his hands, wings of lightning form on his back and he dives at me, his energy focused into a blade of burning fire and light.

Frozen in shock, I am almost impaled before I wake up enough to move out of the way.

I try to bring forth his lightning but I can barely muster a spark.

"Do better!" Ona screams.

As her voice crashes into my mind, something shifts in my perspective.

This isn't about whether or not I hurt Orion. He can take it.

This is about whether or not I can trust myself to become the weapon I need to become. Images of my babies at their hatching, the joy I felt when I wrapped my serpentine body around them, only to have that joy dashed as they cried out in pain, one by one.

Orion makes another pass. This time I don't move out of the way--I let his power burn through me. He pauses mid-attack, not sure what to do as my body convulses.

"Aunt Carnelia!" his face is horror-struck as I fall to my knees.

As the pain burns through me, my mind flashes through memories both painful and sweet. I see my family, our life, and how it should have been, with my happy, healthy children running through the halls of our keep.

I see my love, Primus, our fights, our unquenchable passion.

His look of disappointment when I refused him and left him alone at Ridgewood Keep.

The joy when I finally accepted him, and we twirled in the air as he kissed me breathless.

The feeling of him moving inside of me that first time, claiming every part of my body as his, filling me with our beautiful babies.

And finally, the cold dead look in his eyes, as he sat next to the Luxandrian Queen, his flash of fear and pain like an arrow to the heart.

I open my eyes.

Orion and Ona both gasp, taking a step back.

The lightning rolls along my arms and legs. Wings of light and fire spring from my back and I rise from the ground, my hands promising retribution.

Laughing, I look at my stunned nephew and ask, "What else do you have for me."