Railah

Walking through the path, I was devastated and tired. Only the full moon showed light to my path as many thoughts found their way to my head.

'Why now? Why will he tell me to meet me?? After everything he had done?' Questions upon questions kept on ringing in my head.

'You should hear him out.' That little curiosity popped into my head.

Cold hits my bare skin as I thread carefully towards the place where the whole thing started.

"Alright! I can do this!!" I assured myself.

There he was, standing and looking towards the other side. His hands are in his side pockets... I couldn't see him well but his features said it all...

I didn't make a sound nor let my presence be known by him. Regretting my action, I decided to go back to where I was coming from, far and farther away from him.

I turned back to the direction I was coming from, but he beat me to it. He calls my name in a gentle yet audible voice "RAILAH".

His voice breaks every wall I had built around me. I turned back to face him, not ready to meet his eyes. He walked towards me and then smiled. Not a happy one though, but a thankful one.

"I'm glad you agreed to meet me, I thought you wouldn't want to see me" He paused, and then I met his eyes,

"I'm sorry"... He said at last.

Sorry could make everything go away but instead, it added to the fury burning inside me. I was expecting that, but it reacted negatively.

'SORRY' is one of the magical words or so to call it, but this isn't working magically...

I started to build the wall that crumbled around me, using the strongest bricks I could find.

"That's all?.... Sorry is all you could say?? After doing all that to me? Wow..." I summoned the courage to speak.

I was on the verge of breaking down as he looked up at me (well more like down since he's taller than I am) trying to find my face in the dark.

The silence between us was uncomfortable, screaming to break itself from the intensity. 'How long will this last?' It seemed to ask.

"It wasn't my fault" He decided to break the silence,

"I... I didn't plan it, He told me to do it, and I couldn't help it... I didn't know it would result in that, I honestly didn't want to hurt you....... " He spoke nonstop.

Too much to take in, but I was processing each word. I must have been a good pawn in the game he had planned, earning my trust to use me like a pawn in a chess game that's strategically used to achieve a goal.

'How did I get to this??' I laughed at my stupidity.

The last time I checked, I wasn't a gregarious person. I'm someone who loves to be alone, not that I wanted to but the universe has a way of working against me, so I decided to be what it wanted me to be, 'ALONE', but what changed??

'He changed you!!!!' My subconscious screamed at me.

I got cold feet as I looked at him. Maybe because I was afraid or because I was feeling cold... blame me for putting on shorts without socks.

'What am I doing here? Should I be here with him? I shouldn't have come out, but here I am with him...again..' A series of thoughts flooded my head.

'He changed you totally!!' My subconscious found its way to my head again. I shook the thought away from my head and looked at him.

"Why did you want to see me?" You ghosted me after the incident and now, you decided to see me, telling me you are sorry!" I yelled.

I fought back the tears willing to spill as memories of the terrifying incident flashed through my mind.

"Is this also one of your plans?" I look around, making sure we are alone in the dark...

He moved closer to me, and I moved back.

"No, never, I can't do that to you, just hear me out...Please" He begged. He moved closer again, stretching his hand to touch me, but I moved back.

I can't believe it happened to me in a twinkle of an eye. There's a minute between life and death, but mine took less than a month.

Not death in a conventional way, but death that made my whole world crumble. Those moments that made me whole then shattered me.

'I shouldn't have met him, I shouldn't have agreed...' I blamed myself. Tears I had been fighting for those brief moments found their way to my cheeks.

'I can't cry, I'm not weak, he can't see me cry,' I said mentally, giving myself false hope. The deed had been done.

'All I needed was an explanation, but do I need it right now?' I asked myself again.

"Railah," He called my name again.

He has a way of calling my name that always had me feeling in a good kind way, It works now though, but I won't let him have his way.

"I'm going back to my hostel," I said. I cleaned my face and turned back to the direction I came from, not ready to look back as he called after me,

"Railah, Railah, Railah...... " till his voice faded away in the dark.

I got to my room, retired to my bed and closed my eyes hoping sleep would take me to another dimension...

"He's missing!!" Brelany, my best friend and roommate shouted.

This brought me back from my tiring yet comfortable sleep. I rubbed my eyes as I sat up on my bed and looked at her. She was looking all perplexed as she stared at her phone.

"Who is that?" I asked dozing off.

"Drevy is missing!!" She shouted again and that jolted me.

"What!!" I shouted and jumped down from my bed. I collected her phone and scrolled through the article.

DREVY ANDREWS IS MISSING

LAST SEEN, THREE DAYS AGO.

His picture made the headlines.

'That was the last time I saw him, that was the last time he called my name' My head pounded heavily.

Brelany looked up at me "You met him that night didn't you?" She asked.

"No, I didn't... I didn't meet him" I lied.

"But you told me he called you four days ago to meet him," She said, confused.

"Yeah, he did, but I didn't" I lied again.

"But you were not on your bed that night when I...."

"I just went out for some fresh air," I cut her off.

"Are you fine?" She looked at me worriedly.

"Yes, I am," I lied for an umpteenth time, then gave her an assuring smile.

She stood up, patted my back and left the room, leaving me with thoughts and regrets.

'I should have listened to him, I really should have let him explain before I left him.' My subconscious blamed herself.

'Can this get any better??' Tears found their way to my eyes again...

A MONTH BEFORE THE MEETING AND THE MISSING.

I walked into the lecture room with my headphones on. 'I'm Alive' by Celine Dion blasted in my ears.

'What an irony!' My appearance stated otherwise. I'm looking like a grim reaper,

dressed in all black and looking pale.

My appearance doesn't matter to me and it's not like anyone notices me enough to look and judge it.

I looked around the class. Students form cliques, gisting, talking and doing all sorts of things among themselves. I don't belong to anyone, I'm a loner, always moving and doing things alone. No one has ever acknowledged me or maybe I'm the one who doesn't acknowledge them.

I spotted and walked to my usual spot in any class, 'the back'. I found myself a seat, brought out books and patiently waited for the lecturer.

I was so engrossed and lost in the music when someone tapped my desk....

Well, I wouldn't know if she didn't remove my headset.

I looked up and saw Brelany, the only friend I had, looking at me with an expression I couldn't read.

"What?" I asked.

"I was looking for you, I told you to at least wait for me so we can come to class together, but here you are, sitting 'already' for it," She said dramatically.

"You were taking forever, and time was almost gone," I replied.

"Coming from someone who left one hour before class," She countered then continued,

".. I came inside the room, and voila! You were already gone, I tried calling your line, but it wasn't going through.." She stopped midway and gave me a knowing look,

".. wait, give me your phone." She demanded.

Before I could stretch my hand to give her, she collected the phone from me and checked it.

"Your phone is on offline mode again! Really, c'mon girl," She looked at me.

Not that I have anybody to call me, so why keep my line available? The only time you can get through to me is when I leave offline mode to browse the internet for more songs to keep me going, and after that, I'm on ghost mode. Even during that period, no single call or text messages.. well, I do have text messages though, and that's from MTN.

"I... I just...I didn't.." I stuttered.

"This is not my first time telling you to stop doing that.." She pointed out.

"The lecturer is not here yet, I don't think he will come," I said, checking my wristwatch to divert the topic.

"Oh! Crap, thirty minutes had gone already, let's go," She sounded surprised as she checked her wristwatch too.

I stood up, packed my books and headed out of the class "Railah, wait for me," Brelany called after me. She caught up with me and we headed out of the building together.

As we were about to leave the building, 'HE' walked up to us.

"Hi ladies," He greeted. I didn't even bother to wait, but Brelany pulled me back.

"Hello, how can I help you?" She replied with a smiling face.

"I hope I'm not keeping you guys waiting?" He asked, his attention focusing on me.

The way he was looking at me made me start questioning my appearance, something I had never done before.

'Do I look like a ghost? Is there something on my face?' I asked myself.

The way he stared at me could drill a hole in my face, my cheeks were already on fire.

'Can please you stop staring at me,' I pleaded in silence.

"Can I have a minute with your friend?" He asked.

'You could have just asked instead of looking at me like a freaking ghost' My subconscious popped in angrily.

"Can you wait for me outside?? I'll be with you shortly" Brelany pleaded. I was about to leave,

"Not you," He clarified looking at Brelany,

"But your friend." His attention was focused back at me.

"Oh..." Brelany said in disappointment,

"I'll wait for you outside" Faced down, she left. It was so clear she was disappointed as her cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

Now, alone with him, "DREVY ANDREWS". Wondering how I know his name? He is popular.

I do see him every day, not that I pay attention to him that much, but there are some people you will know without having a personal relationship with them. It might just be someone you see daily, someone like this guy in front of me.

"You are Railah right?" He asked. Sure, but he asked anyway.

"Yes, I am" I replied...

'How did he know my name?' I was battling with inner thoughts.

"Someone recommended you to me" He replied to my inner curiosity.

'LIE from a pit of HELL!!!!!' My subconscious fired at him... Too bad he can't hear her.

I told you, I'm someone who loves to be alone. The only companion I have is 'Myself, Music, Food and I', funny right?

I built a wall around me that no one can penetrate or gain access to, well.. that is if anyone had ever tried to do that. I'm just this girl who is never noticed anywhere, so it's funny how someone recommended me to him... what an irony!

I had no friends or foes. Brelany was the only friend who stood at the gate of the wall built around me, wishing to know what stood at the other side of the gate, but she was not willing to knock, not to talk of gaining access to it.

'Who could it be?' I asked myself.

It's not Brelany because of the scene of disappointment and embarrassment that unfolded before my eyes.

"I need your help and I don't know if you can or will be willing to help me," He said.

'What is he saying? I should be the last, not even on the list of people who can help him, I don't even know him, and neither did he know me, so why would he come to me for help? I don't even know what it could be but I'm not the one he wants, maybe he got the wrong girl... But, come to think of it, I'm the only Railah so ...."

His phone rang which interrupted my thoughts. He brought it out of his pocket and looked at his phone's screen,

"Sorry, I have to go now. We will talk better next time" He looked back at me.

I watched him walk away, his gait striding perfectly. I put my headphones on, and 'Burn the Pages' by Sia boomed in my ear.

I went outside and saw Brelany waiting for me patiently. She saw me and grinned, her eyes twitching funnily.

"Tell me everything." She ordered, dragging me in the direction of our hostel.

Something that has never happened to me before happened. As I browsed through the internet for songs, I got a message. Not a regular message from my regular MTN, but an unknown number messaged me.

'Oh, that's new,' My subconscious peeped in curiosity, staring at the message with me. I clicked on the message.

'Hey Railah, it's Drevy,'

I looked at Brelany who sprawled on her bed tiredly.

"Did you give anybody my number?" I asked her.

"No... I didn't" She replied, looking in my direction "Why did you ask?"

"Never mind." I looked at the message again.

'Where did he get my number from?' Curious overwhelmed me again.

'Perhaps from the group,' An answer popped into my mind.

No.. it can be. My picture is not on my profile, there's nothing on my profile that stands me out as 'Railah'...

I pushed away the thoughts and continued what I was doing before his message popped up. I got tired and stood up from my bed.

I stretched, packed my books with my headphones, and looked at Brelany who was already asleep.

Quietly, I went out of my room and headed out of the hostel, going straight to my favourite spot where I read sometimes to get away from the world.

'Flashlight' by Jesse J blasted in my ear as I trod along the way and observed the scenery before me.

Everywhere was dark and quiet except for the music and the blue light that blinked on my headphones.

I got to my favourite place, a secluded place at the back of the school library. It is surrounded by trees which make it hidden from view, so no students go there except the ones who care enough to discover it like me.

I dropped my things and sat down on one of the long wooden chairs allocated there. The moon was shining brightly which made it possible to see through my book as I laid it in front of me. The music playing through my headsets was doing a good job, and I vibed along.

Something touched me and I jumped in shock, ready to hit it with what I was holding in my hand. It was just a pen though, but I was willing and ready to fight with it. That can't do anything but at least praise me for trying.

That thing grabbed my hand, 'Well, that is a human's hand, not a thing,' I was rest assured.

I looked closer at the supposed human and it turned out to be Drevy. I removed my hand immediately from his grasp and looked at him with surprise.

"Woah Woah Woah, Chillax," He said in a defensive, yet mockery way,

"You almost killed me with your weapon, my vital point was in danger!!!" He cried out.

"What are you doing here? I asked.

"Emm, I was just walking around and something enchanted me, I moved closer and there you are!" He replied in a sarcastic tone.

"That is not funny, this place is hidden enough for you to have noticed me, whereas it's dark already, so that can't be true. So how did you know this place? I mean, why are you here? I restated my question.

Maybe he noticed this place like I did, but I haven't seen him here before. Or maybe...

"Well, I came here to read and I saw you, so I decided to come and greet you, but you responded by wanting to murder me" He replied with a smile.

"You are lying," I pointed out,

"I haven't seen you here before because only a few people know this place, and since I've been coming here, I haven't seen nor met anyone here, not to talk of you, so tell me the reason you are here," I demanded.

"Okay, fine. I was at the library when I saw you pass, I was nosy to know where you were going, so I followed you," He said then looked around,

"Wow, this place is nice, since when have you been coming here?" His attention was back on me.

"It's been a while... " I paused then sat down,

"...well, you can go now, thanks for caring." I picked up my book and headphones from the floor.

'Running up the Hill' by Kate Bush was playing, which overwhelmed the silence. I wanted to put on my headphones then he stopped me.

"Wait, is that Kate Bush?"

"Yes, it is," I answered.

"She is one of my favourites!" He exclaimed

"That is nice," I smiled.

"Can I sit with you?' He pointed at the chair in front of me.

"Why? I asked in a state of confusion rather than a question.

"C'mon now, I can use a partner right now, so many things I want someone to explain to me," He demonstrated the many with his hand.

"No, I'll pass, I don't read with people." I opened my book and continued to read.

Before I could read one or two lines, my book was taken away swiftly by him. I quickly stood up and tried to collect the book from him.

He was holding the book up high and I couldn't keep up with his height, not to talk of how high the book was. All I could do was jump as high as I could to collect it from him.

"Stop it, give me my book" I demanded

"Just agree to be my reading partner, and then I'll gladly give you your book" He looked down at me, his eyes meeting mine.

"I don't want to be your reading partner, you were reading just fine on your own before you saw and stalked me, so go back to where you are coming from, you don't need my help," I said looking away from his gaze that wants to blind my eyes.

Even as dark as the night was, with the moon giving light to it, his blue eyes were visible enough to make me notice.

"Are you always this aggressive? You can't help a friend in need?" He pouted.

I almost laughed at the way he did that. I couldn't believe that facial expression was done by him.

"Okay, fine" I surrendered and walked away from him. I sat on my previous seat while he occupied the one in front of me.

'Stuck with U' by Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber was booming through my headset. This title and part of the lyrics gave a perfect scenario that I was in, 'STUCK WITH HIM'.

"I like your taste in music," He observed,

"At least just the two songs I heard from your playlists say it all that your taste in music is great." He complimented.

"Thank you, but are you here to comment on how great my music is or are you here to read?" I watched him for a moment...

"Which subjects are giving you issues, someone like you can't be lacking academically," I doubted.

"What do you mean by someone like me? You being stereotypical by saying someone like me is not clear enough, please explain," He urged me.

"Like being popular...a figurehead. Not that I know you but at least you and your group of friends look like a genius," I explained.

"Genius in what sense? Looks or the way we present ourselves? Trust me, genius isn't born but made, I may look and act like one, but I have my difficulties too, so don't look at me like one" He disclaimed.

I checked my wristwatch "I have to go, I've spent more than I intended to," I stood up.

I packed my books inside my backpack, slung it over my shoulder and made my way to the path I came in.

"Wait Railah, are you leaving without me?" He asked.

"I came without you," I said, put on my headphones and walked away till I left his sight.

'What a long night, That's the lengthiest I have ever talked to someone in my life.'

I got to my room and dropped my backpack. I sat down and checked my phone, and a new message popped up immediately.

'Guess that's Drevy..'...Since he is the first and only person apart from my regular MTN.

I unlocked my phone and opened the

message.

'This is Drevy... again, because I know you might have deleted the message I sent you earlier and wouldn't have saved my number.. Pls do.'

Another message popped in again,

'You left me alone in the middle of the night, what if I'm kidnapped or something? You don't care about my well-being, that's not a nice thing to do to someone who wants to be your reading partner'

I chuckled. His sense of humour is just so... wait...

'Did I just laugh?' My subconscious called me back in the middle of analysing his sense of humour,

'What could be so funny about that?? Since you are so engrossed in rating his sense of humour, how would you have rated him? His sense of humour is so funny. That is a bad rating I must say or is there anything like a bad sense of humour? Well..there is but that doesn't justify your laughter...' My subconscious rambled on and on in my head and all I could do was agree with her.

I tossed my phone away and lay on my bed. I looked at Brelany on the other side of the room.

She was sleeping peacefully the way I left her. I closed my eyes hoping the peacefulness would take me to an unknown life without stress.