RESISTING DEVIN SINCLAIR

Tamara

Badump! Badump! Badump!

Lord, no, no, no, no, no! It's happening again. That tingling, sensational feeling I usually get whenever he's near. Especially now that he's a few inches away from me, half naked, looking innocently, preposterously and ruggedly... hot!

Jesus!

"Bunny," He called again, more softly and tenderly this time, slowly coming down to my level, eyes still locked on mine. "Do I scare you?"

Oh, my God, what is this? I think my heart's about to explode. The look in his eyes was so... vulnerable and so... fragile. I don't think I've ever seen Devin Sinclair like this before.

"Please, answer me."

"No!" I managed to reply, my voice unrecognizably husky. "No, you don't scare me."

"You sure?" He enquired, voice softer than ever, and the way he looked at me made me feel things... fluttery things in my stomach. I hate this. I shouldn't be feeling this way.

I let out a long, shaky breath. "Yes."

"So if I try to touch you, you won't recoil again like you just did?" He queried. Why are you doing this to me, Devin?

"Yes." I tried to sound as flat as possible, but failed miserably. "Now can we please... get back to the... interview..."

The words died in my throat, my breath hitching, my pulse rising as Devin's hand slid up my lap. His mere touch instantly made my nipples tighten hard against my bra, sending electric sparks skittering down my spine.

And the weird thing was... I liked it. I freaking liked it.

"Devin..."

"I can't pretend anymore." He whispered softly, giving my lap a gentle caress. I was quick to cover my mouth with my hand, to suppress the soft moan that was about to escape my lips, "I... I uh..." He looked like he was struggling with his words. He glanced down at the floor, sighed softly, "Fuck it!" He cursed under his breath and glanced up at me again.

I couldn't move. I just... froze there... rooted to the couch, heat rising in my neck.

"I like you, Bunny." He dropped the bombshell. My jaw dropped instantly, eyes widening, heart slamming so hard against my ribs that I found it hard to breathe. "I really, really like you. I think... I think I always have, but... I have been so scared to admit it." He paused for a second, then went on, "So... when... when you... act like that... recoil in horror when I come close... it... it breaks my heart. I'm terribly sorry for pushing you and choking your arm that day, I didn't mean to." He shifted a little nervously, "Look... I guess what I'm trying to say is... I don't want you to fear me, Bunny. I... I want you to... like me like I like you."

This was probably the time for me to respond, but I was too stunned to speak.

Extremely stunned.

Devin Sinclair, notoriously known for being a sexist fuckboy, the "I don't do feelings" guy, is here... looking so vulnerable and being genuinely expressive for the first time since I've known him... confessing that... that he... that he likes... me? Me?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

"Can you please say something?" He asked gently.

"I-I-I... I... I... I... don't know what to say..." I choked out the words.

He maintained eye contact with me for a long while, the air between us thickening with each passing second.

Then suddenly, his hand found its way to my chin and gently pulled me closer. I stayed still, breath ragged, heart pounding, not resisting, waiting for him to do it.

Instead, he stopped a few inches away, his ragged breath fanning my face, eyes still fixated on mine as though asking for permission.

I should have pushed him away. I should have yelled at him to stay away, kicked him in the groin or... anything. But instead, I just sat there with bated breath... and did absolutely nothing.

I don't know why. Maybe I... maybe I wanted him to?

"Do you... want to?" He asked, voice gently than ever.

I didn't move back. I didn't speak.

I couldn't.

My mind was screaming no... every reason I despised him flashing like a warning sign.

But my body? Yeah, it betrayed me first. And shamelessly answered for me.

A small, reluctant nod.

That was all it took.

A smile of happy relief crept up his lips. He leaned forward, and our lips finally met in a soft, tentative kiss.

It felt like a dream.

The feel of Devin Sinclair's firm but sweet lips against mine sent electric jolts skittering not only down my spine... but to my whole body. He tasted of lipstick... probably Trixie's... but weirdly enough, I found it intoxicating. And at this point, I've lost all my sense of reasoning.

At this moment, I realized just how much I ached for him. How much I've been aching for him all this while, but have been in great denial... especially after seeing the outline of his fat cock through the soft fabric of his wet pants that day at his house.

My lips opened for him, hungry. Our tongues met and twisted together, wet and desperate. Our mouths slammed hard, no holding back.

His hand gripped the back of my neck, fingers sliding deep into my hair, tugging just enough to make me shiver. Our breaths mixed fast and hot, panting into each other.

The kiss turned filthy, deeper. A needy moan slipped out of me when his hand finally slipped between my thighs. My eyes rolled shut, lost in the heat, as his soft lips found my earlobe and sucked.

"Ahhh!" I cried out, loud and shameless... his fingers had just pressed right against my soaked panties, feeling how drenched I already was for him.

That snapped me back to reality.

I shoved him hard, sending him sprawling out on the floor. He sat there, breathing breathlessly, all types of confusion written all over his face. My eyes flicked down to his shorts, then widened in horror.

God! He was hard. Really hard! He had nothing underneath, which made it easy for me to see it... all of it.

Fat. Thick. Throbbing! Begging to be released from the cage called gym shorts.

Jesus!

"I'm not... I'm not... I'm not... one of your... conquest objects!" I managed to choke out the words, though breathlessly. "You think you can just... say that you like me... and and and... and I'll open my legs for you?"

Finding my legs, I scurried to my feet and started to pick my scattered stuff on the couch.

"Wait, no, Bunny, that's not..." He tried to get to his feet, but I shoved him back down.

"Don't call me that!" I screamed, then bolted for the door.

I didn't look back. I kept on running.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God! I kissed Devin Sinclair! And... and nearly had sex with him! Oh, my God.

Oh, my God!

...

I know what you're thinking.

"Everything was going so well between them... the mood, the atmosphere, the genuine confession, the kiss, until she fucking ruined it. And she's such a bitch for shoving that sweet, poor boy to the floor like that... twice."

Yeah, well, you don't know anything.

You don't know anything because Devin Sinclair is no sweet, poor boy. In fact he's the exact opposite of that. He's the type of boy you wouldn't want your daughter, female friend or relative to associate with.

And what you just witnessed is the unprecedented incident that led to my deadly obsession with him, which threw my life off course.

And it all started because of that stupid interview assignment. Professor Harlan, I'll forever hate you.

Now why don't I take you back to a few months ago, before I moved here, to Palmridge? Hmm?

Tamara

You know, it's quite crazy how people expect you to pack your whole life into one huge ass suitcase and act like it's okay or normal... when in fact, it isn't.

"Phew!" After what seemed like hours of struggling, I finally got the zipper to shut.

Heaving a deep breath, I straightened up and glanced around the large room to ensure that there was nothing I was forgetting.

As I glanced around the now-empty room, I felt a surge of sadness and longing hit me like a lightning bolt with the realization that I was going to miss this room.

The once bubbly, lively room now felt empty and somewhat dejected.

"Tam, come on, you're gonna be late for your flight!" Mom shouted from downstairs.

"Coming!" I replied, half-shouting. "Just one second."

Rushing over to the mirror, I stared at my reflection and couldn't help but feel weird. I've always been blonde, but due to circumstances, I had to dye my hair black. And God, I wonder if I will ever get used to this black-haired girl staring back at me?

I look different. I feel different.

Another sigh escaped my lips. Great. That's like the umpteenth time I'm sighing.

Guess that's because I'm extremely terrified. I'm most definitely certain that if you searched the word terrified in the English dictionary, my picture would pop up.

"Tamara!!" Mom's angry voice made me start.

I grabbed my suitcase... which was so heavy by the way... and darted down the stairs, dragging it alongside me. Mom stood at the bottom of the stairs, a deep frown plastered on her face.

"Sorry, sorry." I started apologizing before she could get the chance to explode.

"I told you to do all this yesterday, didn't I?" She rasped.

"You did. And I did. I'm sorry." I muttered.

"Come on, let's go."

We walked out of the house and got into the car. As Mom started the car, I gave the house one last wistful glance. If there was anything I was going to miss, it was probably this house, where most of my happy memories alongside the sad ones took place.

Mom drove the car down the long driveway until we reached the gate. Unlocking the gate with the remote control, she drove out onto the street.

I wasn't surprised to find our gate plastered with rotten eggs, tomatoes, flour, among other variables, and cardboard signs written "Home of molesters and pedophiles," "Exploiters and molesters," "Rot in hell!" "Die!" "Disgraceful piece of shits!" among hundreds of others.

I glanced away, heaving a deep breath.

I've seen these hundreds of times, and I should have gotten used to it by now, but each time I see them, it makes me feel so depressed.

"Don't let it get to you." Mom said suddenly, making me turn.

I nodded, trying to force a smile. "Okay."

"You know this is going to be a new start for you." She stated the obvious. "Kate and Rich will take care of you."

"I know. I know."

"There's also Sue and Andy who're gonna keep you company all the time." She went on.

"I know, Mom."

She sighed, "I know you're sad, honey, but this is the only way to keep you safe, away from all these... disasters. We can't have people harassing you every time you're out on the street. You need a whole new start. And college life is exciting. Before you know it, you'll forget all about this and... this will all be a passed phase."

I gave her a faint smile. "I know, Mom."

She sighed again.

I used to think I had it worse when Dad's scandal broke out. But I guess I was wrong after all. If anyone had it wrong, it would probably be Mom.

Trying to stay strong for me, getting the lawyer to try and clear my dad's name, even though he abandoned us and vanished into thin air, leaving no trace behind, while being utterly devastated and heartbroken, was no small feat.

Mom always knew how to not wear her heart on her sleeve, and that always made it hard for anyone to know how she was feeling or what she was thinking.

"Now remember, if anyone asks, you're..."

"Tamara Jones, not Tamara Hamilton," I completed for her, my tone slightly annoyed for unknown reason, "I know, Mom. You've said that like a hundred times."

"Good." She smiled at me, giving me a little pet on the head, "I love you. You know that, right?"

"I know." I nodded, "I love you too, Mom. Now, please focus on the road before you get us killed."

She chuckled softly in amusement, returning her eyes to the road. "Yes, your royal highness, I will."

It felt great to see Mom laugh.

"And how about you?" I enquired in curiosity.

"What about me?" She asked, probably feigning ignorance.

"What will you be doing after I leave?"

She raised her shoulders in a shrug, "Pfff! I don't know yet, honey, but... I'll be okay. You don't have to worry about me."

I pursed my lips, "Will you be going ahead to sell the house?"

"Yes."

"Can you even get a buyer?"

"I... I... I don't know, Tam." Her voice cracked. I saw her blink back her tears. "I... don't know. But I will be putting it on the market and will find another place to stay."

I stared at Mom for a while and I couldn't help but feel concerned. I can't even imagine what she must be going through. After Dad's scandal, her cosmetic company hit rock bottom, she lost some of her friends, and now she drink most of the time.

I couldn't help but wonder if she would feel better without me.

"Are you okay, Mom?" I asked.

"Yes. Of course."

"Will you be okay?"

"Tam, don't you worry about me. I'll be fine." She tried to reassure me, but failed terribly. "I'm fine."

No, Mom. You're not.

About eleven minutes later or thereabouts, Mom pulled up in front of the airport.

"Welp, we're here." She stated the obvious, pressing her lips together. "I guess you should get going."

I threw myself into Mom's arms, and she embraced me tightly, petting my hair. "I'm gonna miss you, sweetheart."

"I'm gonna miss you more." I replied, rolling my eyes shut as tears trickled down my cheeks.

After our little moment of hysterics, we finally let go.

"I guess I should get going." I said.

"Yeah." She agreed. "I'm sorry I can't walk you in."

"No, no, it's fine. You can't risk people recognizing you and start... harassing you and stuff."

"Bye, Tam. Take care."

"Bye, Mom. You too."

After Mom and I exchanged farewells, I stepped down with my luggage and walked into the airport.

For some reason, I couldn't help but feel anxious. I was terrified that someone might recognize me and start harassing me again.

After Dad's scandal, I think I've developed some kind of anxiety about being in public spaces.

But thankfully, no one glanced my way, and people who did, spared me no second glance. I guess my dyed hair is doing its work.

I boarded the plane and took my seat by the window.

"Phew!" I sighed, relaxing back.

"Hey, you!" A hard, raspy voice made me glance up. "Do you mind?"

"Uh..." I gaped at her, heart pounding against my chest, wondering if she recognized me.

The girl was pretty, soft, with big brown eyes and pink-dyed hair. She had on a skimpy dress that exposed her boobs and on her hand was a dark spectacles. Besides her was a tall, broad-shouldered man, dressed in a dark suit. Probably her bodyguard.

"That's not your seat, bitch!" She barked at me, making me flinch. "Now get the hell up!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I staggered to my feet and stepped out.

"Ugh!" She groaned in frustration. "This is exactly why I hate flying in planes. Why couldn't Dad just let me use his jet?"

Flustered by the incident and the eyes everyone on the plane gave us, I bowed down my head in shame and realized I had mistaken her seat for mine. I bit my lower lip, hating myself for making a clumsy mistake like that.

I walked over to my real seat and sat down. Letting out a deep exhale, I put on my earphones.

I hope Florida will be as great as Mom says.

Tamara

After what felt like an eternity, the plane finally landed. And God, was I glad.

"Finally!" I heard the pink-haired girl exclaim with a deep sigh.

I hope I don't fly again anytime soon. Reading a thrilling book while sitting in the same spot for hours is not my idea of fun.

The flight attendants escorted us out. After getting my luggage, I made my way to the exit while glancing all around the airport searching for my cousins, who were supposed to pick me up. Aren't they here yet or...?

"Hey, Tammy!"

I whipped my head to where the familiar voice came from, my lips curling into a bright smile as soon as my eyes landed on my cousins, Andrew and Susan.

Without further ado, I broke into a run and threw myself on Andy's arms. Sheesh, I guess I jumped too hard because he nearly fell when he caught me.

Nevertheless, he regained his balance and spun me around in the air, both of us laughing in the process.

He finally dropped me on the floor, giving me the chance to hug Sue.

"Come here, you little brat!" Sue squealed in excitement, forcefully pulling me into a very tight hug. She was literally choking me.

"Sue, let her go." Andy separated the two of us, "You're squeezing the air out of her."

"Sorry, sorry. I'm just a little excited." Sue giggled, tucking strands of blonde hair behind her ear. "OMG!"

"A little?" Andy asked.

"Okay, too excited. You're going to live with us! Ahhh!" She exclaimed, doing a little jump, spreading her arms wide. "I've always wanted a sister."

"Aww, I've missed you guys."

"We've missed you, too." The siblings replied in synchrony.

"Wow! Who knew you'd look awesome with black hair?" Sue stated, running her fingers through my hair. "Hmm! I adore this new look, and I could get used to a black haired Tammy."

Andy grabbed my luggage, "Come on, let's get you home, or Mom's not gonna let me hear anything else but her rambles."

I giggled, following them to the car while Sue talked and talked.

Andrew is the oldest of the two. He just turned twenty-two a week ago, or so, he's tall and blonde haired. He's also really smart, emotionally intelligent, but a little too overprotective if you ask me, especially with Sue when it comes to boys.

Susan is nineteen. We were age mates. Talks a lot, too friendly, outgoing and such a ray of sunshine. Trust me, where there's Sue, there's no moody atmosphere.

"Turn on the music!" She shouted as Andy started driving down the road.

Andy obliged and turned the music on. While music blasted in our car, Sue made me join her in singing along. She wasn't going to leave me alone if I didn't.

You can't imagine how grateful I was when Andy pulled up by their house.

"Here we are." Andy announced, cutting the engine.

"Come on, Mom's so excited to see you!" Sue squeaked, half-dragging me inside.

"But... my luggage!"

"Andy will bring it!"

Their house was a whole lot smaller than ours. There were no big acres of land, no gigantic gate, no spacious garage, no fancy maids or paintings or some stupid art on the wall.

It felt like what a real happy home would feel like.

Aunt Kate was in the kitchen, making dinner, her eyes lit up the moment she saw me.

"Aunty!"

"Oh, my God, Tammy! Come here, you!" She spread out her arms and gave me the warmest embrace. "You made it!"

I shrugged with a little laugh, "I guess I did."

"How was your flight?" She asked.

"Her flight was great! Come on, let me show you your room!" Sue dragged me out of the kitchen and up the stairs before I could get the chance to answer.

Yeah, Sue can be a little crazy and annoying sometimes. Scratch that. Most times. So you'd better get used to it.

"It's really nice to see you, Aunty!" I shouted.

Sue dragged me into my supposed new room.

"So, what do you think?" She enquired eagerly, grinning from ear to ear.

The room was... great, I guess. I mean, I'm in no position to complain, and also I'm not very hard to please.

"It's fabulous, Sue! I love it!" I answered, keeping my tone cheerfully bliss to match Sue's energy.

"Aww, I knew you'd love it." She rambled on, "I picked the wallpaper, the bed, the wardrobe, and the closet."

"Thanks, Sue."

"Anything for you, cuz. Mwah!" She kissed me on the cheek. "Now, I'm gonna leave alone and help Mom with dinner. You can freshen up and join us."

She rushed out downstairs. The moment she left, it felt like the room darkened. What did I say about Sue lighting up the room?

I lay on the bed and stared up at the painted ceiling. The bed too was a lot smaller to my own, though still comfortable. And I'm not complaining.

A sigh escaped my lips.

Here we are. My new home.

Can I even fit in? Will I be able to make new friends? My social skills are terrible. What if they don't like me? What if they find out who I am and what my dad allegedly did?

I'm doing it again. I'm overthinking.

The little knock on the door broke into my thoughts. I sat up and turned, only to find Andy standing in the doorway with my luggage.

"May I come in?"

"You're already in."

"Fair." He strolled in and dropped my suitcase in the middle of the room. "So, how do you like your room? Mom wanted to do the decor herself but..." He trailed away and sighed, "You know Sue."

I couldn't help but chuckle.

"That stubborn brat."

"It's okay." I replied, "I love it."

"Alrighty then. I'm gonna leave you to yourself." He turned and headed to the door, "Welcome to Palmridge, Tam."

"Thanks."

"Oh, and... if you need a tour around town, I'm down."

"Got it."

When he left, I pulled out my phone and texted Mom with a photo that I've arrived. I scrolled a bit on Insta, scrolling past reels of cute dogs, food recipes, skits and parodies.

After that, I freshened up and changed into something comfortable. I didn't have my own bathroom, but that was okay. And again, I'm in no way complaining.

Something burning hit my nose the moment I descended the stairs.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Sue was apologizing to Aunty as she tried to blow off the smoke.

"This is exactly why I don't let you into the kitchen!" Aunty was reprimanding her, anger in her voice. "You let it burn. Now I have to recook everything!"

"I'm so sorry."

"Can I help?" I asked, stepping in.

"No, this little brat will clean up the mess she caused." Aunty responded.

"Okay."

I returned upstairs, then knocked on Andy's room. He appeared at the door.

"Yes, Tam?"

"Hey. It looks like I'm gonna need that tour after all."

"But Mom's making dinner." He stated.

"Sue burnt it."

"And why am I not surprised?"

I laughed, "Cut her some slack."

We left the house and got into the car. Andy drove me around Palmridge. It was quite a beautiful, lovely town filled with nice-looking people.

He showed me the beach, which was a little crowded, the popular hangout spots, the malls, the best cafes and a lot of other places.

I had to admit. It was fun. I even forgot about the burden burning on my chest all day long. I love Sue, but Andy is my favorite cousin. Sue is a ray of sunshine and so sweet, but she's too much, even for Andy himself.

Andy suddenly parked the car in a parking lot.

"Um... why are we parking?" I enquired in surprise, glancing around the place, "Why are we at a stadium?"

"I saved the best for last. I know how much you love basketball," He said with a smile, alighting from the car, "A few of my guys are playing, come on."

There was no option for me here. I mean, I was the one who accepted the tour.

The noise in the stadium was overwhelming. I followed Andy closely behind. It was hard to find an empty seat, but we finally did after several minutes of watching.

Basketball. A weird game for a girl to love, I know. But I do. However, I don't think now's the appropriate time for me to be watching basketball.

The cameras kept capturing one player and displaying him on the screen as he moved with precision on the court, scoring several goals. With each goal he scored, there was this smirk of arrogance and ego plastered on his face.

I couldn't take my eyes off him. Not because of his looks, but because he looked weirdly familiar.

I'm sure I've seen him before somewhere, but can't place him.

Andy leaned into my ear, "You see that guy?"

"That one?" I pointed.

"Yeah, him." He confirmed, "That's Devin. He's a monster on the court. He's great, isn't he?"

My heart slammed against my ribs upon recognition. Of course. I knew I recognized him.

That's Devin Sinclair.

His father used to be a former NBA player signed by my dad's agency before he retired.

I heard that his father, David Sinclair, is the mastermind who instigated the allegation that caused the devastating scandal that broke our family apart. And Dad was eager to recruit Devin into the agency, but from what I know he wasn't interested.

The Sinclairs live in Palmridge? Oh, boy. I don't think this is good.