Pursuance

Bad Dream!

I got up from lying down. I'm running out of breath. Again, I dream of it, the same dream ... the same nightmare. I'm staring blankly at the wall, I once more drift back.

I shook my head, trying to erase the dream in my mind while I let my body fall on the bed, bouncing me gently for a second. I spread both of my arms, looking hard at the ceiling for a few minutes before I turned my head right through the alarm clock. The sound of it made me realize that it's already eight o'clock in the morning.

I woke up early, mostly at 6 am, but every time the nightmares visited me, I always woke up for two hours. It has been two months since I dreamt about it. I hope I won't be dreaming about it anymore. Hoping it will never come back again-to haunt me.

Tears formed in my eyes. The hot fluids ran down every side of my cold, pale face. Whimpers came out of my mouth. I don't want to dream of it again. I can't bear the agony of it.

No!

Never!

No!

It will never be my fault. No, it's not me! Not me...

It was Friday night; the moon was shining brightly outside the five-story building. On the third floor, a light was still on. Vesta Fades was sitting on a chair in the dance studio, gripping a hand mirror. Her eyes swollen. In her beautiful face was the sadness that was visible, biting her lower lip to prevent the sobs from wanting to come out in his mouth. She was tired of crying alone. Every time her groupmates left home, she stayed behind, wanting herself to be left alone.

It's almost a year when her twin brother, Xyrell, disappeared. The investigator that her Aunt Elena hired always had the same conclusion that Xyrell will never find, that he was dead. She could not accept it until now. For months that passed, she's praying that Xyrell was alive until she received no hopes.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Remembering the morning when her cousin Ashley called her during a rehearsal practice of their group for the upcoming shows at Cebu next week. Her world fell upon her after she heard from Ashley that Xyrell's bag left in the forest, along with his papers, ID, money, and notes of his research. Blood traced that ends in the falls confirmed Xyrell's blood in the test conducted by the police. The police concluded that a wild animal attacked her brother, which led to his demise, and the body was eaten. She left the studio that day running to her Aunt Elena's office, tears streaming in her eyes, for she cannot contain the horrible news.

Vesta opened her eyes and wiped away the tears in her face, using her free hand. She can't forget that day. She will always remember it as the darkest day of her life. She sighed helplessly. The blow of the air-con made her sicker. The coldness reminded her of how cold her life was losing both her parents at twelve, and again she lost the last of her family.

She questioned herself why she was so unlucky, why she needed to be broken in different ways. Is this how this life wanted her to be miserable until her last breath? She bitterly smiled, placing the hand mirror on the table beside her.

Aunt Elena was the sister of her mother who adopted her and her twin brother after losing both their parents. She took good care of them, like their mother. Vesta blessed to have her. Yet, the guilty remained inside her of how Elena lives a life without her own family, no child on her own because her attention focused on them.

Vesta stood up and had enough. She cannot move on when she until now believed that Xyrell was alive, waiting for her to find him. She felt it. Xyrell not gone. The police report was wrong. They were all wrong. And she will prove it. She clenched her fist. She strode out of the studio, going toward where the office of her Aunt Elena.

Similarly, she knocked on the brown wood door.

"Come in," said the soft voice of her Aunt Elena.

Vesta opened the door, and she saw the surprised reaction of her aunt.

"Why are you still here, Vesta? You should go home. You have a show tomorrow," Aunt Elena said with concern in her voice.

Aunt Elena put down the blue folder she was reading on her desk. She was sitting in a swivel chair. The place was capacious, yet there was only a desk and a drawer in the room. Vesta's eyes landed on the picture frame on the desk. It was the picture taken after Aunt Elena adopted her and her brother. Aunt Elena was twenty-two years old in the photo in the frame.

She walked towards the vacant chair near the desk. The room felt not to like home for her. It was lifeless in her eyes. Vesta sat on the seat without waiting for her Aunt Elena to invite her for a seat.

"I don't want to go home, Aunt Elena, I want to talk to you, and it's very important," Vesta said, trying to hide the disappointment in her voice. She knew Aunt Elena enough for her to disagree with her plan.

"What is it?" Aunt Elena's unsure voice.

"Concerning my brother..." Vesta said in a faint voice, meeting her Aunt Elena's eyes.

Aunt Elena frowned on her face. "What about your brother?"

She intakes air before she slowly blew it out. Why was she so nervous? She doesn't wish to hurt her Aunt Elena with her decision.

"I'm going to La Moran, Aunt Elena, to find him," Vesta said.

Aunt Elena had an impression that every time she talked you can't look away with her face, having a long nose, dark eyes with long eyelashes, same as Vesta's mother, light brown skin, and full red lipstick lips. She had black, stretched, wavy hair having a petite, slim body.

There were a lot of men interested in her and some courted her however, she had no interest in finding a partner. Vesta doesn't know the reason, as if her Aunt Elena was waiting for someone.

Aunt Elena frowned while thinking for a second. She exhaled. "About your brother? Look Vesta, if it's troubling you that-"

Vesta cut her words by raising her right hands that baffled her aunt. She doesn't want to hear again her aunt's justification.

"Aunt, please! I want to find my brother. I'll do everything to find out the truth and the reason he went missing. Why would they say he's dead with no corpse?" Vesta reasoned in a pleading tone. She closed her eyes just to stop the hot tears that wanted to fall. She slowly opened her eyes.

Aunt Elena was so surprised by what Vesta said. Her face shows rejection. "No, I won't agree with that! What are you thinking, Vesta? I don't want you to get in danger, so I won't!" She stiffly refused, as if what Vesta doing was madness.

"Aunt Elena, please. It's been a long time since I thought about it. I want to find my brother. I want to see him, I want to find the truth about why he's missing. Not only that, but I will never believe the investigator who thinks he's probably dead because I know he's not. He is alive, and he needed me to find him." Vesta stressed every word she said.

"I will not allow you to do that, Vesta. You need to go home and sleep. I'm going home later; I have a meeting to take yet," Aunt Elena said in a tough and final tone. She stood up in her chair and grabbed her bag.

Vesta saw in her aunt that she won't change her decision no matter what she did, she said, and even she'll beg her with her knees on the tiled floor. When her aunt said no, it meant no, period.

Vesta sighed. No was not an answer for her, and she won't take it. She has no choice but to do the last option she had.

"I'm so sorry, Aunt. I decided last night, even you demur, I still do it. I'll be away for six months thus you need to take an explanation to the press and my group about it," Vesta wholly said. She stood up dignified and walked through the door.

"Vesta Fades! When have you learned to be hardheaded?" The angry voice of Aunt Elena caused Vesta to stop and turned back to face her.

Vesta gripped her hand hard. "I'm not hardheaded, Aunt. I know what I am doing. Find him. He's alive! I have hope that he's still out there, needing me to find him. Forgive me if I don't follow your words now, Xyrell needs me," Vesta said in a sad choking tone.

"Vesta, I love you both, and I don't want you to lose just how I lose your brother. I'm begging you, stop what is your planning. I will do anything to find him. Likewise, I don't want you to be in danger," Aunt Elena said was full of pleading, worry, and command.

I'm so sorry, Aunt Elena... But my decision is final.

Vesta did not speak and brought out a walk to her office. She heard Aunt Elena calling her, but she continued to walk like she heard nothing.

Vesta arrived at the house of her aunt. It was midnight, everyone was sleeping except her. She cannot sleep. The feeling of what she did made her happy, yet sad as well.

She doesn't want to hurt her aunt, but she had no choice. The pain she had of losing the only family she had was so unbearable for her. She walked to her room. The silence was so deaf she could hear her own footsteps. The creaking of the open door added to the sound.

The suitcases were ready, and far away was the place she was going to. She stared at the analog round clock placed on top of her nightstand beside her bed. She sat on her bed.

8:30 PM, the number showed on the clock.

She has five hours remaining to sleep, but if she stayed here, surely her aunt will not allow her to go. Vesta's phone has been chiming beside her bed. Vesta doesn't glance at it. She knew who it was, her aunt. She has no intention to accept the call, anyway.

She opened the drawer in her nightstand, her hand grabbed a jewelry box, and opened it. In the box she kept her sapphire twin necklace. It has an oval-shaped pendant with two hands designed to hold each other. She slowly stood up and walked to the mirror, and stopped. She put the necklace around her neck, feeling the embrace of the coldness of the gold chain. Likewise, she touched the pendant with her icy hand.

This was the only gift that her parents gave to her and her brother. She saw her sad face reflected in the round metal mirror. She stared at her eyes pensively. It's not recognizable that the eyes colored her had been dark blue when it's not stricken by light.

Vesta always wears a brown contact lens to hide the natural color because she was anxious about it thought that she was the only one having that kind of eye color. She has the same eye color as her twin brother, but she was wondering why either of her parents doesn't have those colors. Perhaps they got this color on their grandparent's side.

Vesta wiped right away the tears that fell in her eyes. She's been so emotional these past months. It's been a long time since she wore the necklace after leaving her childhood place. She turned around and walked again to where her bed was; she stopped on foot at the bed and roamed her eyes around the room. Maybe she forgot something. Her eyes stopped at the picture frame on her nightstand.

Vesta walked into the nightstand and sat on the bed after she had taken the family picture frame. In the picture, her dad was carrying her in his arm, one of his hands clasped at the back of her mom whereas Xyller stood above the chair beside mom beaming a wide smiled. She caresses the glass frame. They were in the living room where the picture was taken. She lowered her gaze to the half picture hanging on the back of her dad.

Vesta didn't notice this hanging a picture on the wall in their house before. It seems there's something pinned below the picture wall frame. She looked hard at the picture. It almost squinted her eyes.

What was that? She returned the picture frame to its placement when her phone rang again. Why would her aunt not stop calling her? She won't change her mind no matter what Aunt Elena said. She grabbed it and ceased pressing the reject call icon when she noticed it wasn't Aunt Elena who was calling.

A smiled unbound in her mouth before she answered the call. She did not expect that her friend would call her. Maybe she brought a piece of news that Vesta wanted to find out.

Vesta silently sipped the wine while thinking about what her friend had declared. It melted her of how sharply Jillian's gaze gave to her.

"Don't make a stupid decision, Vesta. Let Tita Elena just be on that thing." Jillian was not pleased about it. Vesta presumed Jillian could help her, but as her aunt, Jillian was from the same perspective.

Vesta placed the half-content wine glass on the glass table. Vesta scowled, it's not the thing that Jillian averse but the reason that they don't want her to go there.

"Will you please tell me the reason I shouldn't go there? Because it feels like you want to tell me something that you can't say to me, Jillian. What is that then?"

Vesta saw the suddenness in Jillian's look that disappeared a mere second. Jillian regressed her sitting position and her eyes weren't looking at Vesta.

"I'm just worried about you. You may end up like your twin. Do you want Aunt Elena to hurt again? You are breaking her heart now for what you are doing. She is protecting you will not lead the fate like your twin," Jillian reasoned out.

Vesta lost her gusto now. No one will dictate to her. No matter what, she will find her brother. Vesta perceived he was alive and was waiting for her.

"I thought you would support me in my decision? Why change? Tell me, Jillian, what's the reason. It seems like you and my aunt learn something about what happened to Xyller. Why won't you tell me?" Vesta said in a rambling tone.

Jillian pressed her lips. "I'm just worried for you, Vesta. I'm trying my best to help you by giving some information ab–"

"I'm not satisfied with it; you hired someone to find him. But it's the same as the one Aunt Elena hired. Where is his body, then? Clothes with blood are not enough for me. I want him not just the things he had, Jillian," Vesta shook. She breathed deep. Her chest was so crowded that if she would talk, she would cry in front of Jillian. Her friend should support her, but her feelings hurt by what she did.

"I'm so sorry about it. I'm also affected. You didn't know how I'm hurting, Vesta. I'm his girlfriend. I want to find him as you wanted, but we know he's gone. It's difficult to move on, but we need to even it's so hard." Jillian's eyes reddened while telling those words.

Vesta has enough with this. She stood up in her chair, turned her back, and hurried. Moving on? She can't until she sees his body then she'll accept they're right, he was dead.

"Vesta!"

Vesta ignored her voice and stepped out of her apartment door. She only wanted the truth. But why does it feel like they were lying to her?

****

Vesta got off the bus; it's a long ride. At last, she reached the place. La Moran, it's by Mindanao. (just a fictional place).

Vesta cut the long hair she had and changed its style in color into wavy reddish-brown. She wore a black fake eyeglass. She wore a simple blue shirt and black, tattered jeans. The black snicker she was using made her more comfortable than the usual long heels sandals she wore. She walked to the waiting area in the terminal, pulling her wheeled matte black baggage.

Some locals stared at Vesta. She could sense the eyes in her. Vesta ignored it. She breathed easily, then picked her phone in her sling bag. She sent a message to her cousin Ashley that she was here waiting for her.

Lots of people were going in for rides and going out of public vehicles. It looked similar to the city. But Vesta saw more trees here than in Manila and there's no building that reached over five floors.

Her eyesight glanced in the passing vehicle, a red Maserati. It looked like there were a lot of rich people here. She bothered herself by chatting with her group in the chat. They were so sad when they realized she was going on vacation for six months. She hopes six months will be enough to find him.

The Colours

Pink: I hate you for leaving us.

Red: Why you did not bring us, Blue 😭😭 You are so unfair!

Violet: 😭😭😭 your souvenir to me when you come back. I'm going to die missing you every day.

Red: 😰😰 This is so painful rather than my break up with Blake.

Black: What a drama! Guys, you didn't know Sha was so stressed let her have her vacation.

A long vacation, so guys, understand. 💕💕

Scarlet: 😭😭🥺🥺🥺

Scarlet: Onee-chan, I'll miss you so much. Take care 💕🥺

Heh, you are all so dramatic. Just chillax there when I'm here k 😄😄😄, get ready when I come back, the deal we made ago, do it now.

Scarlet: 😱😱😫, I forget it Onee-chan.

Black: 😤🥺it's not fair.

Scarlet: 😖😖 I'm ready for it even I'm not ready.

Pink: We can do it, guys.

Red: I'm always ready, aye aye aye 😝😝😝

Vesta laughed at their reactions to her group, though she had forgotten about the deals that each one of them should make her new song composition for the New Album that will release next year.

I have faith in you guys. Aja! Aja! Fighting Pinoy!

Black: fighting dzai.

Scarlet: for the future...

Red: husband of Scarlet.

Pink: 🥳🥳🥳Ui, there's a rumor that Davidson will propose to you @Scarlet

What? For real 🥰🥰 ? Ayeee.

Scarlet: What about the packing gas chamber, humanoid pink, what's in your ear? It's not real because we are not even in a relationship! Tse!

Black: Condolences, Scarlet.

Scarlet: Really? 😤😤😤 @Black

Vesta stopped typing when she saw a car stopped one meter away from her. The driver's window opened, and the smiling face of Ashley appeared. Was she waiting?

"Do you have a plan to ride with me?" Ashley jokes in an impatient tone. Vesta knew Ashley just came.

She stood up to the waiting bench area and walked to Ashley with her baggage. Ashley went out of the car and gave Vesta a tight hugged.

"How are you? You've grown into a beautiful lady." Ashley hugged, tackled Vesta as if Ashley missed her so very much.

"Don't tease me, pretty cousin. I'm fine, you see? How about you?" Vesta smiled and broke into the hug to each other.

"I'm fine, as usual. I'm still gorgeous," Ashley said with a wink that causes Vesta to laugh.

"Let's go, Vesta. Mother can't wait to see you," Ashley said, in an exciting mood while walking to the car.

Ashley helped her bring the suitcases to the back seat of her cousin's Toyota Vios. The car's color was pink with one blue striped line design. Before Vesta got in the front seat. She noticed that there were no changes in Ashley's personality; she was still funny and optimistic.

"How's the trip?" Ashley inquired before she turned on the engine.

"It is good," Vesta replied.

Ashley's hair color was black and inherited its nose to her father, a Brazilian, with an upturned nose and grey eyes. Ashley inherited the lips and skin from her mother Stella, who was Vesta's godmother, a milky white skin.

"Good. Good. If I went here, the trip would be so total hell for me. Imagine 10 hours going in here?" Ashley referred with a shook in her head.

"You dislike being on a trip because you are like that. So how's your mom?" Vesta questioned her gaze outside the car.

"She's fine with health, but being her mother, I felt like I'm still a baby on her side. However, I love her so much."

Vesta smiled at what Ashley said, but sadness formed within her. She misses her mother so much.

-------

While they were on a trip, Vesta just looked outside the window while watching their passes. The area has changed. She has seen a lot of establishments standing and having more two-story buildings established.

"Vesta? Is that true you told me when you called?" Ashley said, breaking the silence while looking at the road.

"Yes. I'll enroll myself at Farex University. I need to do something there," Vesta mumbled without even looking at Ashley.

Xyller studied the Botanist program at Farex University. Vesta remembered how her brother loved plants when they were a lad. That's the reason Xyller has chosen the course. Xyller was in the second year when the news came to Vesta. It was unexpected and unforgettable.

"I'm so excited! We're going to be classmates. I study there, so will you follow the same course I have? It's kinda nice, education." Ashley showed excitement at knowing that Vesta will school at Farex University.

Ashley's expression changed when she remembered something. "I'm so sorry about what happened to Xyller." Vesta heard the pain in Ashley's voice.

Xyrell did not live with their godmother Estella and settled down in the dormitory while he studied at the university. That's what Xyrelle wanted to be on his own, even when Vesta said to him he should stay with their godmother, but he did not listen. Vesta knew her brother enough. If Xyrelle decided, you could not unbend it no matter how you tried.

What is his decision, that's it? Vesta never calls Xyrell a twin because she preferred to call her by his name. She does not want to be the center of having Xyrell, her twin.

"You did not do wrong, Ash. It was an unexpected happening," Vesta falsified a smile while asserting those words to make Ashley better.

"Sorry for that, Vesta," Ashley said. Vesta saw the pain in Ashley's eyes. Suddenly Vesta felt her heart squeezed by phrases that Ashley let go of.

Vesta kept quietly turning her head in the window's direction. Watching the houses, they passed. While staring she could not stop, not to weep. Vesta knew deep down in her heart that Xyller was alive. She hoped, and she was not losing hope, that she would find him.

"Xyrell, where are you?" Vesta whispered to herself.