Pure Desire

My parents got divorced when I was in year 8 (j. s. s 2). After that, my brother Michael and my Mum moved out to Sydney while I stayed in Melbourne with my Dad.

For a while it was just my Dad and I, until he threw himself into his work and barely even spent a total of 5 minutes with me a day. So, I spent my days differently. I started skipping school and hanging out with the wrong crowd. Thats when my Dad finally started to notice me. Even though he wasnt noticing me for the right reasons, I was at least happy he noticed me at all. I thought the worse I got, the more attention my Father would give me. I was right, but now I realize its not something I want.

My Dad and I decided it would be best to spend my summer break in Sydney with my Mum and Brother.

So, here I am in the airport waiting to board the plane.

Youll be fine on your own right sweetie? My father asks me.

Yes, Dad. Ill be fine. Youre the one whos making me go anyways, so you shouldnt be worried. I say, quite annoyed.

May, I thought you wanted this too? He asks me, sudden confusion washing over his face.

I do, Dad. Well, sort of. Dont get me wrong I cant wait to see Mum and Mikey but, Im gonna miss my friends. I say.

It was true. I would miss the few good friends I had. I hung out with a lot of people, but none of them truly cared for me except my best friend Aubrey and my boyfriend Ian.

I know sweetie, but youll see them in 2 months. Try to enjoy this trip. He says.

I nodded my head and pulled out my phone, replying to the few texts I had from Ian. I put my phone back in pocket when I heard the P.A system say Flight 206 to Sydney is now boarding. I quickly gathered my bags and turned to face my dad.

Well, this is it. He says as he pulls me into a tight hug.

I wasnt much of a hugger so I just pat his back before quickly pulling away.

Yup. Well, Ill see ya. I say as I begin to make my way over to the boarding line. I soon get to the front of the line and give the lady my boarding pass before she guides me where to go.

I follow the long hallway until I get to the plane. I quickly find my seat and put my bag into the above compartment. I went to close it but it wouldnt budge.

Need some help there? A voice says from behind me.

No, I got it. Thanks. I say without turning around, as I continued to struggle.

Just then a pair of arms reached over mine and shut it. I turned around to face a boy. He looked around my age.

Thanks.

Not a problem. He says, taking the seat next to mine.

He motioned his hand over to my seat, gesturing me to sit down. I sat down and pulled the magazine from the side of the seat.Im Calum. The boy beside me said.

May. I replied, not bothering to even look up.

So, whats in Sydney for ya?

Family. I say, trying not to continue the conversation. I was hoping he would get the message that I didnt want to talk, but he didnt.

Cool. So, where are you originally from?

Why was he so full of questions? If im on a plane from Melbourne, wouldnt he naturally assume thats where Im from?

Do you mind? I snap. Im trying to read. This time I looked up at him.

He looked a bit hurt by my words. Oh-uh-umsorry. He stammers.

I didnt bother replying to him. I went back to my magazine reading, but guilt soon washed over me. I shouldnt have snapped at Calum, he was just being friendly.

Melbourne. I say to him. He was probably confused at what I said seeing as he asked his question about 5 minutes ago.

Huh?

You asked where I was from. Melbourne. I say.

Oh right. Well thats cool. He says.

I could tell he was trying to be careful with his words, probably because of how I snapped at him earlier.

Look, Im sorry for being rude before. Im honestly not usually like that its just, Im not exactly thrilled to be going to Sydney for the summer. I explain to him.

Hey, dont sweat it. He paused. But if its any consolation, Sydney is pretty great.

Thanks. I said, smiling back. So, why are you on the plane? Are you visiting Syndey too? I ask him.

No, I live there. He replies.

Why were you in Melbourne then? I ask, hoping I didnt sound as inquisitive as he did earlier.

My sister lives out there. He explains.

Thats funny. You were visiting your sister, and Im going to visit my brother. I laugh lightly. It wasnt even funny but I dont exactly know how to keep a good conversation flowing with people Ive just met.

The rest of the plane ride was spent talking to Calum about small things and watching movies.

-

Alright folks we are now landed. Please proceed out of the east side of the plane. Thank you for flying with us and enjoy your day. The pilot says on the speaker.

I get up and retrieve my bags before following Calum out of the plane and into the airport.

Alright well, nice meeting you. I say to Calum as I began to walk away.

Wait! I hear Calum say.

Yeah?

Why dont you give me your number? That way if youre ever bored of hanging out with your brother and mum all summer, youll have someone else. He says with a small smile.

I could tell he meant it all in a friendly way, and not flirty.

Yeah sure.

We exchange numbers and say our goodbyes as we go separate ways. I go out to the cars and look around until I see my mum. She notices me too and walks over to me. Something seems a bit off with her, though.

Hey. I say with a smile.

Hi. She says, slurring her words a bit. Almost as if shes drunk, but she couldnt possibly be. Michael told me she works a lot, shes probably just really tired.

After about 45 minutes, we arrive at their house. I get my bags from the trunk and go inside.

The guest room is set up for you. You can go up and get settled. Theres left overs in the fridge. My mum says.

Thanks Mum, uh- wheres Michael? I ask.

Out. She shrugs before walking into another room.

Okay then. I mumble as I take my bags upstairs. Michael and I had always been close. We were only 2 years apart, so growing up we were always together. It was hard when he decided he was going to move out to Sydney with my Mum, but we had gotten older and hung out less anyways, so I guess I didnt mind that much. I pulled out my phone when I heard it buzz.

From: Ian

Hey babe, hope your flight was okay. miss you already. Call me soon.

To: Ian

Miss you too! Ill call after dinner

I locked my phone and began to unpack my clothes. It was weird. Ian hung out with the same kids I did but, he was different. Yeah, he smoked a lot and got into a lot of fights just like the others only, Ian actually had plans on what he wanted to do in his future. He already had plans on moving out to America and going to college for accounting. He was really smart, but none of his friends knew that. I was broken out of my thoughts when I heard a voice call from downstairs.

May? He called.

I knew that voice anywhere. It was the voice of my big brother

I run down the stairs as fast as my feet can carry me.

MIKEY! I shout as I pounce into his arms.

I wasnt much of a hugger by Michael was the exception.

MAY! Mikey yells back as he hugs me. Ive missed you so much little sister.

Ive missed you too. I say as I pulled away from the hug.

Come on, come tell me about what Ive missed in your life. Mikey says as he pulls my hand upstairs.

Mikey, I saw you on Christmas. I chuckle lightly.

Yeah but May, that was like 6 months ago. A lot can change in half a year.

Youre right. Well, I have a boyfriend. His names Ian. Ive been seeing him since January. I started.

Is he nice to you? Does he treat you well? Has Dad met him? Does Mum know? Does he push you to do anything? Michael shot all these questions out at me and I couldnt keep up.

Mikey slow down. I giggle.

Michael had always been protective over me.

Sorry, He laughed. I just hate that Im never around to protect you if you need it. He says.

I know, but im a big girl. I can take care of myself you know. And to answer your questions, yes he treats me good, yes Dad has met him and no he doesnt push me to anything.

Okay good. Wait, whats his last name?

Baker, why?

Youre dating Ian Baker? He asks, clearly surprised.

Yeah why? Do you know him? I ask.

He composes himself and shrugs. Uh, no. We used to have mutual friends.

I nod understandingly.

Man May, Ive missed you so much. Michael sighs as he hugs me again.

Me too Mikey. But dont worry, Im here for the whole summer. We'll have plenty of time to spend together." I smile.

"Good. Oh um― I need to talk to you about something." Michael says slowly.

"Yeah..." I question.

"Look, I don't want to be the one to give you this whole speech believe me, but Dad is forcing me to. He said that youve been hanging around Clay and his crew. Why, May? Is it because youre dating Ian? You know the type of guys him and his boys are. He said, putting air quotes on boys.

Clay was sort of the leader of our whole group of friends. He was the one that got everyone the drugs and alcohol, and persuaded everyone to do bad stuff, including Ian. Ian and Clay were best friends, but I figured Mikey already knew that.

Clays changed. I lie. Him and Ian are best friends. Hes gotten a lot nicer now. Hes not the old Clay you used to know.

I was literally lying through my teeth. If anything Clay had gotten worse from when Michael knew him. Michael and Clay were best friends when we all lived in Melbourne, until Clay started hanging out with some bad people. Michael wasnt that type of person so, he stopped hanging around Clay.

May, why are you hanging out with them? What happened to your old friends like Aubrey, Jadyn and Emma? Those were good friends.

I was still best friends with Aubrey but only because she accepted that I hung out with Clay, Ian and their group. Jadyn and Emma wanted nothing to do with them, so we stopped hanging out. Look Mikey, I know youre trying to help but its my life and I can choose to have whoever I want in it. I just got here and I dont want to fight so can we just drop it? God! You sound like Dad! I raise my voice.

Alright im sorry. Just forget I mentioned anything about it. Look, tonight Im going over to my friend Ashtons house. A few of my friends are gonna be there too. Wanna come? Its sort of a summer start up party.

I dont know..I was supposed to call Ian later on and im kinda tired. I say.

After 5 minutes of Michael practically begging me to go with him, I gave in.

Great, be ready by 7. He says as he shut my door.

I figured Id call Ian now so he wouldnt get worried later on. It rang multiple times before going to voice mail. I furrowed my brows. Thats weird. Ian always answers my calls. I called a few more times only to be sent to voice mail again. I decided to just text him.

To Ian: Hey. I dont know why youre not answering my calls but Im going out with my brother tonight so I wont be able to call you later on.

A few minutes passed and my phone buzzed.

From Ian: k

K? K?! He freaking Kd me? I decided to not even reply. He was probably in one of his moods. Every so often Ian would get mad for no apparent reason and be a complete jerk to me. Id learned it was best to steer clear of him while he was like this. I pushed it all out of my mind as I went to get ready for the party.

I put on my short denim shorts and a white crocheted tank top. I straightened my long hair and applied some eye makeup and a bit of concealer. I finished much too early so I just went downstairs to watch TV. After what felt like years of watching One Tree Hill re runs, it was finally 7.

Mikey, are we going? I call from the bottom of the stairs. Michael came flying down the stairs.

Lets go. He says as he gets his keys. We get in the car and begin to drive.

So how many people are going to be there exactly? I ask.

Not that many. Just my closest friends.

We soon pull up to a fairly large house. We get out of the car and go up to the door. I was about to knock but Michael just opened the door.

PARTYS HERE! Michael shouts, causing me to roll my eyes playfully.

A boy approached us laughing at Michaels entrance.

Yeah, the party definitely is here. He says looking at me with a smirk. That made me feel uncomfortable.

Thats my sister you d--k! Michael says, slapping the boy on the back of the head.

S--t man, sorry! The boy says laughing.

Im Ashton. He says with a smile.

May.

Alright well come on in and meet everyone.

I follow Ashton and Michael down to the basement where everyone was.

This is Cora, Luke, Harry and Michael says before I cut him off.

Calum? I ask as I look at the boy sitting on the couch.

It was the same boy I sat beside on the plane.

May? He asks standing up from the couch.

Everyone looked confused by now.

You two know each other? Michael asks.

Yeah kinda. We sat beside each other on the plane ride here from Melbourne. Calum explains.

Small world. I chuckle.

I sit down and begin to talk to everyone. They were all really nice. I couldnt help but notice how attractive they all were. My brother sure knows how to pick hot friends.

I look over at Michael to see him making out with Cora. I raise an eyebrow and look around.

Youll get used to that. A voice says as they sat beside me on the floor.

It was Luke. I had never met him before tonight, but Michael talked about him constantly. They were practically brothers, at least thats what Michael tells me.

I look up at him and immediately took notice of his blue eyes. And lip ring. He was really attractive.

Are they together? I ask him.

They always say they hate each other, but then every time they see each other they cant keep their hands to themselves. Luke chuckles.

I nod, trying to understand how weird my brother was. My phone buzzes but I choose to ignore it.

Youd think hed be embarrassed to make out with some girl right in front of his sister though. I laugh lightly.

My phone buzzes again.

Yeah, youd think. But hey, this is Michael were talking about. We both laugh.

My phone buzzes again. and again.

Arent you gonna get that? Luke asks me, referring to my buzzing phone in my pocket. I nod and take my phone out.

From Ian: Where the f--k are you?

From Ian: Are you at a party?

From Ian: Its late. go home.

From Ian: Better not be cheating on me.

I furrow my brows. He was definitely drunk. Ian was an extremely angry drunk. I decide to reply before he calls to most likely scream at me.

To Ian: Would you relax? Im out with my brother, as I told you before.

Everything okay? Luke asks me.

Yeah, just great. I sigh. I hate when Ian acted like that.

Im gonna go get some more drinks from the cooler outside, want to come? Luke asks.

I hesitate at first but nod and follow him outside.

-

"So, who were the texts from?" Luke asks me as we sit down on the chairs on the porch.

"What?" I ask him, trying to come up with a lie I could tell.

I would rather not tell him they were from ' my non trusting, overprotective, drunk, moody boyfriend who tries to control me even though he's hours away. '

"Well you seemed kinda pissed after you checked your phone inside, so I kinda figured someone was texting you that you didn't really wanna talk to."

"Oh, uh–that. That was my boyfriend."

"Wouldn't you be happy to hear from him?" He lightly chuckles.

"I usually am. He was just being a jerk so i'm assuming he's drunk." I explain further.

He nods his head. "So how long are you here for?" He changes the subject, which I was thankful for.

"Just the summer. I go back to Melbourne beginning of September."

"Oh that's cool." He says. I give him a small smile. Michael then came outside.

"May, you ready to go?" He asks me.

I thought it was still pretty early but I was fine with going home.

"Yeah, i'm ready. Nice meeting you, Luke. Tell everyone I say bye." I say as I stand up, adjusting my top and shorts, and follow Michael to his car.

"Yeah, nice meeting you too." Luke says as he waves goodbye.

We get into the car and start driving home.

"Why were you and Luke talking outside?" Michael asks me.

"Oh, we went to get more drinks from the cooler. Plus, I didn't really want to see my older brother making out with some girl right in front of me." I laugh. He laughs too.

"Sorry about that."

"So, are you two dating?" I ask.

"What? No! I can't stand her! She's annoying and such a b---h, ew no! I would never date her!" He groans.

"Luke was right." I giggle.

"What?" He c---s his head to the side.

"He told me how you and that girl-" I begin before Michael cuts me off.

"Cora. Her name's Cora."

"He told me how you and Cora, always act like you hate each other but then can't keep your hands off each other every time you're together." I say.

"Luke's an idiot." He laughs.

We get home and I go straight to my room. I check my phone to see I had multiple texts.

From Ian: r u still at the party?

From Ian: How many guys have you f----d since u got to sydney?

From Ian: Now ur ignore me? Fine b---h

From Clay: Hey, idk what Ian's texting you right now but he's piss drunk. Ignore everything he says.... you hear...

From Aubrey: We're all at Clay's right now. Ian's drunk out of his mind and can't stop complaining about you. Ignore whatever he says to you. He doesn't mean it. Hope you're having fun in Sydney with Michael and your Mum. Miss you may...

I knew Ian was drunk. I couldn't believe how rude he was being. Actually, I could believe it because this was how he usually acted whenever he was drunk. I was surprised Clay texted me though. He's usually drunk right along with Ian. I decided to reply to their texts.

To Ian: Stop acting like such a jerk. I wasn't at a party, I didn't have sex with anyone, and i'm not ignoring you. I know you're drunk so just stop texting me and call me when you're sober...

To Clay: Kinda figured lmao. Thanks for letting me know..

To Aubrey: He's being such a d--k omg. It's alright here but honestly I'd rather be back in melbourne. :.. miss you

I lock my phone and get ready for bed. I couldn't deal with anymore of Ian's s--t tonight.

I wake up the next morning and immediately go to the bathroom to wash my face, brush my teeth, and apply a bit of makeup. I go back to my room once i'm finished and put on my dark blue denim short shorts with my grey panic! at the disco tshirt. I roll the sleeves a bit, slip on my vans and walk downstairs.

"Morning, you're ready early." Michael says.

"Yeah, I'm gonna just go for a walk, and do a bit of exploring." I lie.

Truth was, I was probably going to just go smoke behind the convenient store, but I didn't want my mum or Mikey to find out I smoke.

"I'll come with you and show you around." Michael says, standing up from the couch.

"No, that's okay Mikey. I'll be back really soon. Plus, I kinda wanted some time to myself today." I say.

I felt like a total b---h for saying this to my brother. After all, I came here to see him.

"Actually, never mind. Come with me. I want to spend as much time with you as possible while I'm here." I smile.

Forget going out for a smoke, I missed my brother. He smiles as he walks over to the door and puts on his shoes.

The day was spent with Mikey showing me his school, favourite hangouts, and where he first got high-which I was pretty surprised about.

"May? Look I know today was kind of brother sister day but, Cora's friend is having a party tonight and she asked me to go. She told me to bring you. Come with me?" He asks me.

I really didn't feel up to it but, Ian hadn't texted me all day and I need a distraction to keep myself from texting him first because he should be the one texting me to apologize for what he said to me last night.

"Yeah sure. I'll come."

"Okay good! And if you want, I don't have to hang out with Cora all night. I can stay with you if you don't feel comfortable with people you don't really know." Mikey says.

I shake my head. "No it's okay. I'll find a way to keep busy." I say as we walk home.

It was now 8pm and we were just about to leave. I had on my same shorts but changed into a plain black tank top and straightened my hair instead of leaving it in the messy bun it was previously in. I walk downstairs and go straight to the car where Michael was already waiting.

After a fairly short drive we arrive at the party. We get out of the car and go straight to the front door. We knock since we didn't know the host. Some girl opens the door, she's clearly intoxicated. We walk into the house and the smell of alcohol, weed, and sweat immediately hit my nose. There were people everywhere you turned.

"D--n, you guys know how to have a party. Seem's like I'm back in Melbourne." I chuckle lightly.

"Yeah, summer parties can get pretty crazy. Calum texted me and said they're all in the lounge downstairs, let's go." Mikey says.

We manage to get through all the people and downstairs to the lounge. Mikey opens the door and inside was Cora, Calum, Luke, Ashton and a few others I didn't know. Michael does the bro handshake thingy with the guys and quickly sits beside Cora.

"Oh right, guys this is my little sister,.. May... May this is Harry, Trey and Alex." Michael says, introducing me to the people I hadn't met before.

They all say hey and give a wave.

"Hey, I'm May. And i'm not that young. I'm going to... year 12.. (s.s 3)...." I laugh lightly before sending a glare over to Michael.

Just because Michael and I were two years apart, he always made me feel like a baby. Sometimes it was nice to have an older protective brother but, being sometimes it was smothering. They all laugh and I stood there awkwardly.

"Wanna sit?" Luke asks me.

I nod and sit beside him. "Why are you all down here instead of upstairs at the party?" I ask.

"It's my party." Alex laughs lightly.

I couldn't help but notice how pretty she was. She had dark brown eyes and long brown hair.

"I usually only have parties so I can hang out with these dorks." She says, referring to everyone in the room.

"Everyone else sort of just, shows up." She explains.

I nod my head.

"Want a drink?" Calum asks me.

"Yeah sure a Coke is fine." I reply.

Before I knew it everyone was laughing at me.

"That's not the kind of drink I meant." Calum says as he opens up the fridge, revealing tons of beer, vodka, and pretty much any other alcohol you could name.

"Oh, uh–a beer is fine then."

Before I knew it everyone in the room was drunk, other than Alex, Trey and myself. Alex said she needed to stay sober to take care of her house in case the party got out of control, and Trey said he felt bad that Alex was going to be the only sober one. I on the other hand wanted so badly to get drunk, but I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of people I barely even knew.

"You know, you're pretty." Luke mumbles into my ear.

"Thanks." I say with a smile.

"Did you work everything out with Ian?" He asks me, I was surprised he remembered his name.

"Nope." I say popping the 'p'. "He hasn't texted me since last night."

"He's a jerk then." Luke says.

"He's sweet when he's sober." I say, trying to make Ian sound good.

"Regardless of what state he's in, he should treat you good." Luke says. He was making a lot of sense for a drunk person.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

Just then my phone starts to ring. The caller ID showed that it was Ian. "I'd better take this." I say as I got up.

"Oh, yeah–sure." Luke says.

I get up and quickly walk into the bathroom, since it was the quietest place I could find.

"Hello?" I say into the speaker.

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