Perfect Husband

"Ah, so annoying. Feri is coming home today. I have to prepare everything to welcome him," I muttered reluctantly as I got out of bed and got ready to shower. Earlier, before taking a nap, I had already cooked.

"Serving the husband, kisses, hugs... Ugh, disgusting!" I grumbled again as I let the water soak my body. After finishing my shower, I put on makeup and perfume. I did this because of an incident in the past. Feri was furious when he saw me looking messy, sweaty, and unkempt the last time he came home.

It's not that I don't care, but as far as I understand sex, I simply can't enjoy it with Feri. It's confusing. I've heard on TV or read in magazines that physical intimacy is supposed to feel incredible, like floating in the air. But honestly, I swear, all I feel is disgust and pain. I don't understand why my husband thinks it's so important.

For me, not having to do it is a blessing. It's pure torment, truly! What should I do? I've even considered asking Feri to marry another woman because of how burdened I feel with this emotional responsibility toward him.

Drrrrt Drrrrt...

My phone vibrated on the nightstand. Reflexively, I glanced at it and answered the call.

"Yes?"

"Ina, I'm almost home. Have you gotten ready? I miss you."

I rolled my eyes lazily.

"Yes... I have."

---

"Ina, I'm sure. You can heal, your trauma will fade, and you won't suffer anymore when we're together," he said. I let out a heavy sigh and replied,

"I hope that can happen."

"Alright, wait for me at home." My heart pounded as I heard his words before he hung up. I put the phone down and immediately started trembling, imagining Feri approaching me with his desires. For some reason, it made me feel deeply uncomfortable. I couldn't even accept his touch. All I could think about was pain.

"Ugh... Damn it!" I muttered, covering my ears. The sound of Feri's breathing and voice during intimacy felt revolting to me. Why does this feel so unbearable? I can't live peacefully like this.

For two years of marriage, Feri has tried to help me and reassure me that I'm different. He says all women want this-affection, touches, and most importantly, emotional maturity. But what's wrong with me? I even wish I could be free from him. If only Feri would divorce me and leave me for another woman, I would feel so relieved. I can't bear this emotional torment anymore. I don't enjoy it at all. I hate it; I'm disgusted by it.

Click...

The sound of the bedroom door opening startled me, and I hadn't even realized that Feri was already home. I stood frozen, wide-eyed, leaning against the table to steady myself as I trembled. Seeing my expression, Feri instinctively came closer and embraced me.

"It's okay, sweetheart. I don't want anything right now. I just want to see you," he whispered. I tried to catch my breath and looked into his eyes.

"Have you eaten? Come on, let's eat first," I said, trying to stand and distance myself from him as I walked out of the bedroom toward the dining room.

If this were a movie I often watched, a man like Feri would be every woman's dream. But why can't I feel the same way as other women? My husband is handsome, with tan skin and a strong, muscular build. His sharp, piercing eyes, thick eyebrows, and sexy lips are captivating. His square face, accentuated by a prominent nose and dimples on his cheeks, perfectly fits the standard of a good-looking man.

Yet, I feel nothing. Not the beauty of love I've seen in movies or read about in romantic stories. What's wrong with me? Am I truly broken beyond repair? Feri has been incredibly patient with me, enduring my tears and struggles whenever he approaches me in the bedroom. He even chooses not to touch me for fear of upsetting my mood.

"Feri... Maybe you should find another woman to fulfill your needs," I said as we shared dinner. Instantly, Feri froze, his hand holding the spoon mid-air.

"I can't," he replied briefly. I fell silent for a moment before speaking again.

"Feri, I feel burdened by all of this! I'm suffering. I can't fulfill my responsibilities. You understand that, don't you?" I said. My husband looked at me with a blank expression and replied,

"You'll heal... So stop bringing this up. You've talked about divorce far too many times!" he groaned.

"But this is for my sake! Do I have to beg you? You don't know what it's like to be me, so you don't understand!" I snapped. Feri slammed his spoon on the table and said,

Clang...

"And do you think you understand me, Ina? This isn't easy for me either. I'm suffering too. You know I'm normal, right? You're just dealing with trauma right now, sweetheart. It can be healed," he explained, his voice heavy with frustration. I fell silent, staring into his eyes.

"Two years isn't a short time. Instead of healing, my trauma has only gotten worse. I was happier with the freedom I had before marriage-no sex and no burdens. I was far happier," I said. For a moment, Feri looked at me with a pained expression.

"I can't replace you," he murmured. I sighed and tried to make myself clear.

"Can't you just let me go?" I said, my eyes filled with hope.

Clang...

The spoon hit the wall again. I flinched slightly, surprised by my husband's anger.

"Stop talking nonsense, Ina!" he snapped. I took a deep breath and chose to remain silent, deciding not to say anything more.

Two hours had passed since dinner. I was lying on the bed while my husband was in the bathroom, cleaning himself. My heart was pounding as I waited for him to come out. I knew he would ask me to fulfill his needs soon. For some reason, my blood raced, and my chest felt like it was in turmoil.

Trakt

The sound of the bathroom door opening startled me. Fear had been lingering in my mind for a while. Seeing my reaction, Feri just shook his head. He approached and sat on the bed beside me. I remained silent, my body trembling. He tried to touch me gently, but I felt uneasy and tried to brush his hand away.

"I can't!" I exclaimed, my voice trembling. Feri shifted slightly and looked deeply into my face.

"Nothing is going to happen, just like before. Nothing bad has happened to you, right? Slowly, you'll be able to overcome your trauma if you try. You can do it. Just don't resist. Let time take its course," he whispered in my ear. I flinched, feeling a tickle. Reflexively, I pushed his solid body away and said:

---"I can't! Go away!" I pleaded desperately. But Feri insisted. I was terrified and tried to fight back. I didn't know what was going through his mind. Maybe he thought, as my husband, he had full rights over me. He ignored my struggles and my screams, not caring about my rejection.

An hour passed. I cried softly in the corner of the room after everything had happened. My sobs broke out like a woman who had just been forced.

"Ina... come here, darling," called my husband, standing up and approaching me. I was angry, crying, and throwing anything I could find nearby.

"Don't come near me! I can't take this anymore! What more do I need to say! I can't serve you! I'm tortured!" I screamed. My husband stood still, unmoving.

"Don't you understand that I'm suffering? I can't serve you, you don't care about my mental state!" I shouted. My husband stood still, unmoving.

A week had passed since that day. Feri no longer wanted to touch me or even talk to me. I felt relieved because I no longer had to carry the emotional burden weighing on my chest. At least now, I could go through my days peacefully without fear.

It seemed Feri had forgotten about his planing. I didn't care; what mattered now was that he no longer demanded his marital rights. I was truly grateful for that.

---

In the evening, while I was preparing dinner for us, I heard the sound of my husband's car arriving. I waited inside while still focusing on the menu. However, I was a bit surprised when I saw Feri enter the house with a beautiful woman. I couldn't help but notice her; she looked stunning and elegant. I observed her from head to toe-she looked perfect and, of course, normal. She must be a woman who could satisfy Feri. I tried to step closer to them.

"Good evening, Ina. Let me introduce you to Rara, as we agreed before. I've found someone suitable for me," he said. I raised an eyebrow and replied,

"Welcome, Rara," I said briefly, extending my hand. The woman seemed surprised by my warm welcome. She looked at me with wide eyes, as if in disbelief.

"Don't worry. I have no problem with your presence here. I hope we can understand each other," I said. The woman looked even more shocked. Slowly, she tried to move her lips.

"I can't believe there's a woman like this. I was scared when Feri brought me here, afraid you wouldn't be happy," she said nervously. I smiled and reflexively chuckled.

"Don't be afraid, just think of me as Feri's friend. I'm happy you're here and that you can help me serve Feri," I said. Rara nodded and turned to Feri.

"Thank you, darling, for introducing me to Ina," she said. My husband just smiled and affectionately ruffled her hair. I also smiled and invited them to sit at the dining table.

"Shall we eat?" I said. Feri smiled and stood up, holding Rara's hand. I froze for a moment, trying not to care, then sat at the table with them.

"Please, this is all my cooking. Feel free to try it," I said.

"Eat, my dear. Ina is very good at cooking; you'll definitely like it," Feri said, handing a plate to Rara. Rara immediately tasted my cooking.

"Yes, darling, it's delicious!" she said. They seemed engrossed in conversation, paying no attention to me. I remained silent, slowly spooning my food, feeling alienated as I listened to them becoming increasingly close.

---

"Rara?" I asked, interrupting their conversation, and they both turned to me.

"Yes?"

"Do you like the food?"

She nodded, then they resumed their conversation without giving me any further attention.

"Eat a lot, darling. Don't be shy," Feri said, and seeing that, I immediately rolled my eyes.

"Maybe tomorrow I'll need a friend to help me with the cooking. It would be nice if I didn't have to prepare food every day," I thought to myself.

I stood up, intending to go to my room. For some reason, I felt too lazy to watch their affection because I didn't want to interrupt.

"Where are you going?" Feri interrupted.

"I'm going to my room. I'm already full; I had some snacks earlier. You two continue, and Rara, don't be shy. Clean up and wash the dishes, treat this as your own home," I said firmly to her. She nodded nervously.

"Okay, Sis..."

"Good. Now I can rest," I said as I walked away.

Night fell deeper. As I started to drift into a deep sleep, I felt Feri hugging me. I woke up suddenly, startled, and sat up.

"What are you doing here? Isn't Rara with you? Why did you come here?" I asked. Feri tightened his embrace, his eyes still closed. I didn't even know how long he had been there.

"Feri, go away!" I snapped.

"Just sleep, darling. I only want to sleep. You're so stingy, not even sharing a bed," he mumbled with his eyes shut. I sighed and tried to go back to sleep, though I felt uncomfortable. His strong hand wrapped around my waist. I tried to control my erratic breathing and forced myself to fall asleep again.

"Why is he still here? Isn't Rara around?" I muttered to myself.

Morning arrived, and I woke up early. I saw Feri still sound asleep beside me. After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I went out of the room and found Rara busy in the kitchen, preparing something.

"Rara, what are you making?" I asked as I approached her.

"Breakfast," she replied. I sighed a little heavily and said,

"What are you making for breakfast? Feri doesn't like caffeine. I usually make him green tea in the morning."

"Feri likes breakfast with carbs and green tea," I said, glancing at the coffee she was brewing.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know," she replied. I stepped closer, moved aside the omelet and salad she had prepared, and took over her task.

"There's no need to trouble yourself. This is my job. Your job is in the bedroom. By the way, why did Feri come to me last night? Didn't you try to stop him?" I asked.

"I'm sorry. Maybe Feri isn't used to me yet. This was all so sudden. And when he said he was doing all of this for you, I realized he really loves you," she said. For a moment, I fell silent.

"I don't even know what love is," I whispered. Rara sighed and tried to sit at the dining table.

"Love is care and affection. The kind Feri has for you," she said. I turned to her and stared blankly.

"But the fact is, he's with you to fulfill his needs. Is that also love?" I asked, still unable to understand. Rara laughed and shook her head, further confusing me.

"Feri is a normal man. That's just natural."

"But love doesn't feel natural," I muttered. Rara stayed silent, watching me stir the tea in the glass. Then she stood up, distracting me.

"How can you not like Feri? He's such a nice guy," Rara said.

"What's wrong, Ina?" she asked, a bit sharply.

"If you're happy, then fine. But don't push me like this. I don't like being interrogated," I said, while picking up the tray with tea and breakfast and walking toward Feri's room. Rara just smiled widely as she watched me walk away.

"She calls me weird, but she's the one acting strange, smiling like that. What's so special about love anyway?" I muttered.

Clink.

I placed the tray with tea and breakfast beside our bed.

"Hm, darling, green tea and toast," Feri murmured, already recognizing my presence from the smell of the food.

"Get up. Take a shower, then have breakfast," I said, standing again.

"Alright, sweetheart," he replied. Seeing Feri's behavior left me confused. His attention toward me hadn't changed at all. It felt as though nothing had changed in this house, even though he clearly brought another woman here-the one he introduced as his new partner. He didn't even sleep with Rara last night. But maybe they did something outside the house; after all, Feri had been busy looking for Rara last week. Soon enough, that woman could get pregnant, and Feri's happiness would be complete. Meanwhile, I would remain stuck with my phobias and trauma.

"Poor me," I whispered softly.

Tomorrow Feri has a business trip out of town, and he's taking Rara with him, not me.

Click.

The bathroom door opened, and Feri approached, taking the warm tea from in front of me.

"Ina, where are my office clothes?" he asked, pulling me out of my thoughts. Reflexively, I immediately grabbed them from the wardrobe.

"Feri, maybe I should just go back home," I said softly. For a moment, Feri stared at me blankly as he took the shirt from my hand.

"What do you mean, go back home? You'll just end up more traumatized," he replied angrily. My chest tightened, and I said,

"I don't want to be stuck between you two. It's better if I go back to my parents," I explained.

"No... You can't leave. Have you thought about how the family would react if they found out I brought another woman into our house?" he said angrily. I fell silent for a moment.

"I'll explain it to Mom," I replied. Feri sighed in frustration.