Painful desire

"Are you and Ash okay?" my mom asked, I nodded and smiled bitterly.

"Of course, he's sweet and gentlemen" I answered, mom smiled at me.

If they know what Ash wants from me, they might keep me away or force me to file for divorce, that's what I don't want to do because I love him so much no matter what pain he puts me through.

After I went for a walk, I first went to the cemetery and visited my grandmother, she was the only one I told about my problem when I was a child, but she was taken away.

I knelt down and lit a candle on his grave.

"I'm here grandma" I started and took the dry leaves from her tombstone.

"So you know why the first question you always ask me is, am I okay? Actually, I'm not okay grandma," I said weakly.

After all, there's no one and I'm alone here in the cemetery, I'm free to drama now, chos!!

"Then you'll ask me, why and what is the reason why I'm sad, grandma? My answer is about a-ashton"

I feel like a fool talking to the grave but it doesn't matter.

"When mom finds out what Ash always wants in the mansion, I'm sure she'll force me to file a divorce so don't tell her, I love him so much I don't want to lose him grandma....I love him so I can handle it" I smiled bitterly.

"Oh it's a handkerchief"

I looked behind me and my jaw almost dropped now.

"A-Ash.."

---

"Are you and Ash okay?" my mom asked, her concern evident in her voice. I nodded, forcing a smile that felt more like a grimace.

"Of course, he's sweet and a gentleman," I replied, hoping to quell any suspicions. Mom's smile reassured me momentarily, but beneath the facade, fear gnawed at me.

If only they knew the truth about Ash's desires, they might intervene, urging me to distance myself or worse, pressuring me to file for divorce. But I couldn't bear the thought of losing him, despite the pain he inflicted.

After excusing myself for a walk, I found solace in the cemetery, where I sought counsel from my late grandmother, the only one I had confided in as a child before she was taken from me.

Kneeling before her grave, I lit a candle, the flickering flame casting shadows on the worn tombstone.

"I'm here, grandma," I began softly, brushing away dry leaves. "You always asked if I was okay. The truth is, I'm not okay."

Alone amidst the silent gravestones, I allowed myself to speak freely, unburdening my heart to the one person who had always listened without judgment.

"And then you'd ask why I was sad," I continued, my voice trembling. "It's about Ashton."

Feeling foolish yet strangely liberated, I poured out my fears and insecurities, confessing the secret that weighed heavy on my soul.

"When Mom learns of Ash's true intentions in the mansion, she'll demand I leave him," I confessed tearfully, my heart aching with the prospect of losing him. "But I love him too much to let go. I'll endure whatever pain comes my way."

As I wiped away my tears with a trembling hand, a rustle behind me caused my heart to skip a beat.

"Ash..." I stammered, turning to face him, my emotions laid bare before him in the flickering candlelight.

---

Ashton's presence loomed before me, his expression a mix of concern and curiosity as he approached.

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop," he began, his voice soft, "but I couldn't help overhearing."

I tensed, my defenses rising instinctively. "How much did you hear?" I asked, my voice betraying a hint of fear.

He sighed, his gaze gentle yet penetrating. "Enough to know you're hurting, and that you're keeping something from me."

I hesitated, torn between the desire to confide in him and the fear of his reaction. But as I met his unwavering gaze, I sensed a sincerity that thawed the walls around my heart.

"It's about the mansion," I confessed, my voice barely above a whisper. "What do you want from it, Ash?"

His expression softened, remorse flickering in his eyes. "I should have been honest with you from the start," he admitted, his words heavy with regret. "The truth is, I inherited the mansion from my late grandfather, but it's burdened with debts I can't repay."

I listened in stunned silence, the pieces of the puzzle slowly falling into place. "So that's why you've been distant, why you've been avoiding me," I murmured, a mixture of hurt and understanding coursing through me.

He nodded, his gaze searching mine for forgiveness. "I didn't want to drag you into my mess," he confessed, his vulnerability stripping away the barriers between us. "But I realize now that keeping secrets only drives us further apart."

Tears welled in my eyes as the weight of his confession lifted the shadows from my heart. "I'm here for you, Ash," I whispered, reaching out to him. "No matter what challenges we face, we'll face them together."

In that moment, amidst the silent gravestones and flickering candlelight, we found solace in each other's embrace, united by the promise of honesty and the enduring strength of our love.

---

---

The morning sun cast a warm glow over the mansion as Ashton and I sat in the elegant dining room, savoring a rare moment of tranquility amidst the chaos of our lives.

"I never imagined owning a place like this," I remarked, tracing my finger along the intricate patterns of the tablecloth.

Ashton smiled, his eyes distant yet filled with a hint of nostalgia. "It holds a lot of memories," he admitted, his voice tinged with both sorrow and longing.

I reached out to him, sensing the weight of his emotions. "Tell me about it," I urged gently, eager to unravel the mysteries of his past.

He hesitated, as if wrestling with demons long buried beneath the surface. But as he met my gaze, a flicker of resolve sparked in his eyes.

"It wasn't always like this," he began, his voice tinged with bitterness. "When my grandfather was alive, the mansion was a place of joy and laughter. But after he passed away, everything changed."

I listened in rapt attention as Ashton recounted the tumultuous events that had shaped his childhood, the betrayal of trust and the shattered dreams that had driven him to the brink of despair.

"I thought I could escape the past by leaving this place behind," he confessed, his voice thick with emotion. "But the past has a way of catching up with you, no matter how hard you try to run."

Tears welled in my eyes as I reached out to him, offering comfort and understanding in the face of his pain. "You don't have to face it alone, Ash," I whispered, my voice trembling with emotion. "Together, we can confront the past and build a future filled with hope and love."

In that moment, amidst the faded grandeur of the mansion and the echoes of bygone memories, we made a silent vow to confront our demons and forge a new path forward, bound together by the unbreakable bonds of love and resilience.

---

End of Chapter

This chapter delves into Ashton's troubled past and the scars that continue to haunt him, while also highlighting the protagonist's unwavering support and commitment to their shared journey of healing and redemption. It emphasizes themes of resilience, forgiveness, and the transformative power of love in overcoming adversity.

"W-What are you doing here?" I can hardly speak.

"I followed you," he replied bluntly.

Did he hear what I said? I hope he didn't hear anything.

"D-Do you hear-" he cut me off.

"No, let's go home, mom said they are coming to visit us" she answered and walked first, I did nothing but follow her.

"You can call me or text me, maybe it won't bother me" I said while we were on the flight.

He was silent until I couldn't stop myself from asking.

"I-I saw you earlier...you are kissing someone" my voice was bitter, he looked at me for a moment.

"She's Annie my ex"

I couldn't answer, as if something blocked my throat.

I was quiet the whole way until we arrived.

"Shantal!" we were greeted by mommy mie, ashton's mother.

"M-Mom.." I smiled lightly

"How are you? with my son?" he asked, I looked at ash who was talking to his dad.

"Great!" I enthusiastically answered.

"We're just going for a walk here and to tell you, your dad's anniversary is on Monday...this is an invitation card" he gave me a card, I smiled and nodded.

"Go ahead, mommy mie" I answered, she kissed me on the cheek.

They didn't stay long in the mansion and left immediately.

"Ash..are we going on Monday?" I asked when I saw him reading a magazine.

"Just you, Annie and I have a date"

As Monday approached, I found myself grappling with a mixture of emotions. The invitation to Ashton's father's anniversary celebration weighed heavily on my mind, particularly knowing that Ashton and his ex-girlfriend Annie had plans of their own. Despite my inner turmoil, I resolved to attend the event, wanting to show my support for Ashton and his family.

On the day of the anniversary, I dressed carefully, opting for a simple yet elegant outfit. As I made my way to the venue, my thoughts were consumed with questions about Ashton's relationship with Annie. Despite his reassurances, doubts still lingered in my mind, leaving me feeling unsettled.

Arriving at the event, I was greeted warmly by Ashton's family. The atmosphere was one of celebration and remembrance, with guests sharing fond memories of Ashton's father. Despite the somber occasion, there was a sense of unity and love that permeated the room.

As the evening progressed, I couldn't shake the feeling of unease that accompanied me. I searched the crowd for Ashton, finally spotting him in a quiet corner with Annie by his side. They seemed lost in conversation, their laughter echoing softly in the air.

Approaching them hesitantly, I felt a pang of apprehension grip my heart. Ashton glanced up as I approached, his expression unreadable. Annie smiled warmly at me, though there was a flicker of something in her eyes that I couldn't quite place.

"Hey, Shantal," Ashton greeted me, his voice tinged with tension.

"Hi, Ashton. Hi, Annie," I replied, forcing a smile despite the turmoil raging inside me.

Ashton and Annie exchanged a glance before Ashton spoke again. "Shantal, I know this might seem strange, but Annie and I... we've decided to give our relationship another chance."

His words hit me like a sledgehammer, leaving me speechless. I struggled to comprehend what he was saying, the weight of his revelation settling heavily on my shoulders.

"I-I see," I stammered, my voice barely above a whisper.

Annie reached out to touch my arm, her expression sympathetic. "I'm sorry, Shantal. I hope you understand."

Numbly, I nodded, unable to find the words to express the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside me. With a forced smile, I excused myself from their presence, needing to escape the suffocating atmosphere.

Alone in the midst of the crowd, I felt a sense of isolation wash over me. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as I grappled with the harsh reality of Ashton's decision. In that moment, I realized that our paths had diverged, leading us down separate roads.

As I made my way home that evening, I couldn't help but wonder what the future held in store for me. Despite the pain of Ashton's betrayal, I knew that I would find the strength to move forward, to carve out a new path for myself. And with each step I took, I vowed to never lose sight of the resilient spirit that burned brightly within me.

__________

As Monday approached, I found myself grappling with a mixture of emotions. The invitation to Ashton's father's anniversary celebration weighed heavily on my mind, particularly knowing that Ashton and his ex-girlfriend Annie had plans of their own. Despite my inner turmoil, I resolved to attend the event, wanting to show my support for Ashton and his family.

On the day of the anniversary, I dressed carefully, opting for a simple yet elegant outfit. As I made my way to the venue, my thoughts were consumed with questions about Ashton's relationship with Annie. Despite his reassurances, doubts still lingered in my mind, leaving me feeling unsettled.

Arriving at the event, I was greeted warmly by Ashton's family. The atmosphere was one of celebration and remembrance, with guests sharing fond memories of Ashton's father. Despite the somber occasion, there was a sense of unity and love that permeated the room.

As the evening progressed, I couldn't shake the feeling of unease that accompanied me. I searched the crowd for Ashton, finally spotting him in a quiet corner with Annie by his side. They seemed lost in conversation, their laughter echoing softly in the air.

Approaching them hesitantly, I felt a pang of apprehension grip my heart. Ashton glanced up as I approached, his expression unreadable. Annie smiled warmly at me, though there was a flicker of something in her eyes that I couldn't quite place.

"Hey, Shantal," Ashton greeted me, his voice tinged with tension.

"Hi, Ashton. Hi, Annie," I replied, forcing a smile despite the turmoil raging inside me.

Ashton and Annie exchanged a glance before Ashton spoke again. "Shantal, I know this might seem strange, but Annie and I... we've decided to give our relationship another chance."

His words hit me like a sledgehammer, leaving me speechless. I struggled to comprehend what he was saying, the weight of his revelation settling heavily on my shoulders.

"I-I see," I stammered, my voice barely above a whisper.

Annie reached out to touch my arm, her expression sympathetic. "I'm sorry, Shantal. I hope you understand."

Numbly, I nodded, unable to find the words to express the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside me. With a forced smile, I excused myself from their presence, needing to escape the suffocating atmosphere.

Alone in the midst of the crowd, I felt a sense of isolation wash over me. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as I grappled with the harsh reality of Ashton's decision. In that moment, I realized that our paths had diverged, leading us down separate roads.

As I made my way home that evening, I couldn't help but wonder what the future held in store for me. Despite the pain of Ashton's betrayal, I knew that I would find the strength to move forward, to carve out a new path for myself. And with each step I took, I vowed to never lose sight of the resilient spirit that burned brightly within me.

Monday night, I almost didn't want to go there because they might ask where Ash was.

Why should I answer that, I dated a dog, right?

"Ma'am? Is your gown ready that ma'am amie sent" called manang.

I wiped the tears that fell from my cheeks and straightened up.

While I was wearing the gown, I almost didn't feel like it, who likes it when you know your husband has a cadet.

"Fvck" I murmured.

When I put on my heels, I immediately stood up and walked out

When I arrived at their venue, I immediately showed the guard my card and went inside.

"Mommy mie!" I called, she immediately hugged me.

"Where's ashton?" he asked, I shrugged.

"B-Maybe he'll be next, he said he's busy for now" I answered, the smile on mommy mie's lips disappeared noticing that I was almost restless.

"Are you okay, sweetie? Did Ashton hurt you?" he asked weakly, trying to smile.

"W-No mommy mie, I'm fine, I guess I just lacked sleep" I blurted out, he nodded and introduced me to the other guests here.

I'm alone at the table here while drinking a beer, earlier my eyes were wandering because Ash might be here but he wasn't

Maybe, he enjoyed today, it's his mother and father's anniversary today but he's not there.

I hardly know when I had a beer but when I stand up I immediately feel dizzy, shit shantal you know no one will take you home you are drunk.

Ashton, you always hurt me.

"You're drunk Shantal! that's enough I'll take you home"

Your vision is blurry but I still saw Ash's face in front of me and my blood immediately boiled.

"F-Fv*k you" I cursed at him.

_________"Shantal, please, let me help you," Ashton pleaded, his voice tinged with concern.

I swayed unsteadily on my feet, torn between wanting to push him away and needing his support to get out of there. Anger and hurt bubbled inside me, fueled by the betrayal I felt from him.

"I don't need your help, Ashton," I spat out, the bitterness in my voice palpable.

He reached out to steady me, but I jerked away, almost stumbling in the process. The room spun around me, the music and chatter of the party becoming distant echoes in my ears.

"I don't want anything from you," I slurred, my words slithering out with venom. "You've already taken enough from me."

Ashton's expression twisted with pain, and for a moment, I saw a flicker of remorse in his eyes. But it was quickly replaced by a mask of indifference, a defense mechanism I knew all too well.

"Shantal, please, let's talk about this," he implored, his voice barely above a whisper.

But I was done talking. Done trying to make sense of his lies and excuses. All I wanted was to escape the suffocating weight of his betrayal, to find solace in the darkness of the night.

With a shaky breath, I turned away from him, my gaze fixated on the exit. I didn't need him. I didn't need anyone.

Ignoring his protests, I stumbled forward, determined to leave him-and all the pain he had caused-behind.

As I pushed through the crowded room, my heart pounded in my chest, matching the rhythm of my unsteady steps. The alcohol coursing through my veins dulled the ache of betrayal, but it couldn't erase the raw emotions that gnawed at my insides.

Outside, the cool night air hit me like a wave, momentarily clearing my muddled mind. I stumbled onto the sidewalk, the world spinning around me in a chaotic blur. But even in my intoxicated state, I knew I couldn't stay there.

I fumbled for my phone in my purse, fingers trembling as I tried to dial a familiar number. My vision swam as I struggled to focus on the screen, cursing under my breath as I misdialled for what felt like the hundredth time.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the call connected. Relief washed over me as I heard the familiar voice on the other end.

"Hello?" came the sleepy greeting.

"Dad?" I croaked, tears welling up in my eyes. "I need you to come get me."

There was a pause on the line, followed by a concerned murmur. "Shantal? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

I couldn't find the words to explain, couldn't bear to relive the pain of Ashton's betrayal. All I wanted was to escape, to find refuge in the safety of my father's embrace.

"Just please come get me," I pleaded, my voice cracking with emotion.

Moments later, headlights illuminated the darkened street as my father's car pulled up beside me. With trembling hands, I opened the door and sank into the passenger seat, the weight of the night pressing down on me like a leaden blanket.

As we drove away from the chaos of the party, tears streamed down my cheeks, mingling with the rain that drummed against the windshield. In that moment, I felt adrift, lost in a sea of uncertainty and heartache.

But deep down, I knew that with my father by my side, I would find the strength to navigate the stormy waters ahead. And as the city lights faded into the distance, I allowed myself to believe that maybe, just maybe, there was hope for a brighter tomorrow.

In the hazy aftermath of the party, I found myself sitting alone on the steps of a nearby church, the rain cascading down around me like tears from the heavens. My mind was a whirlwind of emotions, memories of happier times with Ashton intermingled with the searing pain of his betrayal.

I wrapped my arms around myself, seeking solace in the warmth of my own embrace. But no matter how tightly I held on, I couldn't shake the feeling of emptiness that consumed me from within.

In the distance, I heard the faint sound of footsteps approaching, and I tensed, expecting Ashton to appear before me once again. But to my surprise, it was someone else entirely who emerged from the shadows.

"Shantal?" a familiar voice called out, filled with concern.

I looked up to see my best friend, Sarah, standing before me, her expression etched with worry. Despite the darkness that clouded my heart, a small spark of gratitude flickered within me at the sight of her familiar face.

"Sarah," I murmured, my voice barely above a whisper. "What are you doing here?"

She knelt down beside me, her gaze soft and understanding. "I was at the party, but I saw you leave in a hurry. I was worried about you."

Tears welled up in my eyes as I leaned into her comforting embrace, the weight of my pain threatening to engulf me entirely. But Sarah held me steady, a beacon of light in the darkness of my despair.

"I don't know what to do, Sarah," I confessed, my voice trembling with emotion. "I thought he loved me, but he's been lying to me all this time."

Sarah squeezed my hand gently, her presence a soothing balm to my wounded soul. "I know it hurts, Shantal. But you're stronger than you realize. You don't need him to define your worth."

As her words washed over me, a glimmer of hope pierced through the darkness, illuminating the path forward. In that moment, I made a silent vow to myself: to rise from the ashes of my broken heart and forge a new beginning, one filled with love, self-respect, and unshakeable resilience.

With Sarah by my side, I knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, I would face them head-on, armed with the unwavering strength of friendship and the unwavering belief in my own worth. And as the rain continued to fall, I closed my eyes and allowed myself to believe that maybe, just maybe, there was light at the end of the tunnel after all.

In the hazy aftermath of the party, I found myself sitting alone on the steps of a nearby church, the rain cascading down around me like tears from the heavens. My mind was a whirlwind of emotions, memories of happier times with Ashton intermingled with the searing pain of his betrayal.

I wrapped my arms around myself, seeking solace in the warmth of my own embrace. But no matter how tightly I held on, I couldn't shake the feeling of emptiness that consumed me from within.

In the distance, I heard the faint sound of footsteps approaching, and I tensed, expecting Ashton to appear before me once again. But to my surprise, it was someone else entirely who emerged from the shadows.

"Shantal?" a familiar voice called out, filled with concern.

I looked up to see my best friend, Sarah, standing before me, her expression etched with worry. Despite the darkness that clouded my heart, a small spark of gratitude flickered within me at the sight of her familiar face.

"Sarah," I murmured, my voice barely above a whisper. "What are you doing here?"

She knelt down beside me, her gaze soft and understanding. "I was at the party, but I saw you leave in a hurry. I was worried about you."

Tears welled up in my eyes as I leaned into her comforting embrace, the weight of my pain threatening to engulf me entirely. But Sarah held me steady, a beacon of light in the darkness of my despair.

"I don't know what to do, Sarah," I confessed, my voice trembling with emotion. "I thought he loved me, but he's been lying to me all this time."

Sarah squeezed my hand gently, her presence a soothing balm to my wounded soul. "I know it hurts, Shantal. But you're stronger than you realize. You don't need him to define your worth."

As her words washed over me, a glimmer of hope pierced through the darkness, illuminating the path forward. In that moment, I made a silent vow to myself: to rise from the ashes of my broken heart and forge a new beginning, one filled with love, self-respect, and unshakeable resilience.

With Sarah by my side, I knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, I would face them head-on, armed with the unwavering strength of friendship and the unwavering belief in my own worth. And as the rain continued to fall, I closed my eyes and allowed myself to believe that maybe, just maybe, there was light at the end of the tunnel after all.