Our Type Of Love

The mirror distorted, most of the time it showed what wasn't even there, but it was easy to believe what was mirrored back because you projected it in the first place. Arielle turned away from the mirror in her room in disgust. She didn't want to see her reflection, knowing that she'd taken her obsession to be perfect too far. She had been proud of losing weight at the beginning until it wasn't enough, she just needed to lose a little bit more, then more until it became glaring that it was a problem, that was after she'd collapsed and had to be rushed to the hospital.

She'd lost too much weight, but she couldn't seem to stop herself. She wanted to stop, but even with her medication, she found herself sliding back into her old habit, eating little, working it off, wearing huge sweaters to avoid the whispering at school... It was a nightmare, but it was always a little more weight than she needed to lose.

She adjusted her eyeglasses, noticing how pale her face looked, her hazel eyes gazing tiredly back at her.

She stepped away from the mirror, grabbed her backpack, and walked towards the door pushing it open, her Mom stood at the other end looking nervous. Arielle cleared her throat, trying to appear happier than she felt.

"Mom, good morning" it came out more of a question than a statement, she was not sure what her mom wanted, it always involved something when she came up to her room, so she was skeptical.

"You look beautiful this morning". She complimented, looking her over. "I made breakfast" she quickly added.

Arielle clenched her hand on the door handle. "I'm not hungry, and I'm already late for lectures, maybe when I get back"

Her mother looked like she expected the answer. "I know that, but should I just pack it up for you in a lunch box" Her voice came out shuddering, an unsure look in her eyes that made Arielle feel guilty.

"I'd like that" she found herself saying, but it was worth the wide smile that replaced the worried look on her mother's face. Her mother cared about her, she was understanding and didn't try to push her too hard, but it was hard to watch her worry just because she couldn't eat right. If her mother knew the real reason she'd started skipping her meal and working hard to keep in shape, her mom would be hard broken. Arielle shuddered just thinking about it. Her mom patted her hair, her grin widening.

"Give me a minute, I'll pack it up for you. Make sure you find time to eat ok. You can also share it with your friend scarlet". She suggested as she rushed down the stair, her steps light.

Fifteen minutes later, she plunked into her friend's car, feeling more drained than normal. Scarlet smiled at her, her red hair gleaming in the dark interior of the car. She pulled out of their driveway, then accelerated the car speed, almost flinging them both from their seat before screeching to a halt.

"Oops!", She got out cheekily before driving within the speed limit. Arielle took a deep breath wondering how Scarlet even got her driver's license with the way she lost control of the wheels most of the time. Arielle jerked when scarlet revved up once more.

"Slow down, we'll die at this rate" Arielle warned, but Scarlet just grinned. Arielle paid more attention to the hurt in her eyes but did not comment on it.

"Scared, are we? She asked, increasing the speed.

"You'll get a ticket," Arielle said, making her voice sound detached with boredom. Scarlet shook her head but slowed down.

"You're in a moody mood this morning" Scarlet pointed out, as she took notice of the frown on Arielle's face. "What happened to you".

"Nothing, I guess I'm just fed up about life today, I'll get better by tomorrow".

Scarlet exhaled, her face set like she was making a major decision. "You're right, everything is so shitty today, typical Mondays. It just drains you, and then some boyfriends decide it's a good day to dump their girlfriend".

Arielle sat up, turning to face scarlet, her eyes widening at the intended meaning of her words. "Don't joke with me like that Scarlet, we both know France can never leave you".

Scarlet scoffed, her wrist flexing on the steering wheel. "Yeah, well I guess we were both wrong. He grew tired of me. I was so fucking dumbfounded when he told me he didn't want me anymore, but you know me, he can go screw himself. I won't start acting bat shit crazy over some dude who doesn't love me, anymore", she shrugged like it was no big deal. Arielle took notice of her quivering lips as she bit on them. She touched Scarlet shoulders gently.

"Are you alright"? It got quiet until Scarlet sniffed, trying to clean her tears with her sleeve and failing miserably.

"I'm not ok best friend, France is such a lousy guy, the worst kind of a jerk, I gave him two years of my life Arielle and what did he do, stepped on it like it was freaking nothing, I hope he chokes on his salad wherever he is". Her voice was bitter, her temper rising, Arielle noticed warily, knowing fully that the whole ride was going to be spent trying to get Scarlet to stop crying. She found a way to calm her down before they got to school.

*******

Arielle POV.

I got out of the car and hurried towards the lecture hall. Consoling was not something I liked, I wasn't even good at it, it was a miracle that I got her to stop crying, considering how awkward I was. It was hard to feel for other people when they didn't care all that much for my feelings. I mean, no one gave a fuck if I lived or died, except for my Mom, and Scarlet. The rest didn't care or even knew I existed.

I'm thinking too hard, but the breakup of scarlet came as a shock to me. It was strange that France could just break up with Scarlet, they had been almost inseparable and now, everything had changed in just a matter of days. Was love that easy to push aside, because I couldn't stop my love from fading away. Ugh, I needed to stop, it was unhealthy.

"Hmph!". I collided with someone, more like bumping into a warm strong male chest before bouncing off it. His hands shot up to grab my arm, holding me steady. My God, I think I cracked my ribs- kidding. I'm kidding.

I stared up to see the most amazing pair of blue eyes glaring at me like I was some filth not fit to be on the planet earth, his thick shaped eyebrows furrowed, his nostril-flaring a little as he stewed, he licked his plump red lips making me swallow, the place he held me burned. I perspired, not caring that he was giving me a disgusted look, I couldn't care when I held his attention. I knew those eyes. I loved the one who owned them even if he didn't feel the same.

Arielle POV.

He lets go of my arm, taking his warmth with it. I felt empty like I was missing something. It was absurd but that was how much he affected me. I've done so much, when will he see me. When will I be perfect enough?

"Can't you fucking watch where you are going". He snarled out, but I expected it. He was sexy even when he got mad, his deep voice became deeper, resonating, making whoever it was directed at reacting in two ways, fear it or smolder in the heat of it.

I attempted to apologize. "I'm sorry, I just-just ha-had a lot..."

He stopped me, his eyebrows dipping further. "Save it, just watch where you are going next time" he walked past me muttering under his breath. "I don't know why people are so stupid". I stared after him, my stomach in a twist. His cologne lingered around me, I trailed my finger over where he had grabbed me... We had a connection, no matter how brief it was. He was rude to me, but it didn't matter, it was because he was in a bad mood. He was kind, most of the time.

It was unhealthy, but I've loved him for so long that I tended to defend all his actions. I did change my whole life for him anyway. It started when I heard him saying he liked skinny girls_ that conversation I overhead was when I was thirteen_ and from then on, I'd become obsessed. I read like crazy so we could go to the same university, applied for a course I was sure he was going to study, but he changed course after the registration. I wanted to change too but I forced myself to stick to what I'd chosen, I was good at it anyway.

I was getting better now at killing the urge to follow him everywhere or watch his every move, I'd stopped stalking him, I was trying to ban him from my heart. But it was hopeless, cause in my head, it's always been him.

"Are you just going to stand there staring after him" a deep voice rumbled beside my ear, startling me? I turned around to see the culprit. He was in my department, but I couldn't remember his name. I avoided his cheeky grin and probing eyes.

"I'm gonna go.." I got out, pointing past him. I felt off. He nodded, following after me as I trudged away from him.

"Let me accompany you then". I nodded, it was not like I could stop him when he was already coming after me. It was weird that he was talking to me. I only knew him because he was the hottest guy in our department, girls were always talking about him at one point or the other. No one ever went out of their way to talk to me, especially not a cute guy like him. I peered at him curiously from the corner of my eye. He was better looking up close, his curly brown hair agreed with his dark eyes, dozens of freckles were littered on the bridge of his nose, and his jaw was chiseled to perfection. He took hold of my arm making me jerk my hand back. He'd ruined Keenan's touch. It was stupid, absurd but it hurt that he ruined the connection I'd shared with Keenan. I didn't like it one bit.

"I am Liam by the way. Liam Hashubah" he said making me blink as he stretched his hand for a handshake.

"Are you joking, that's not your real surname is it?" I asked, curious. It was a unique name but it was also funny. He stared at me calmly, pulling back his offered hand, his face dead serious.

"It is" he answered. I stopped smiling.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to assume you were making that up. It's just that it's a Hebrew name, and you don't look like you're from that side". He smiled, his hand ruffling my hair. He pulled back before I could do anything. I just stared at him, stunned.

"Good brain, that's the reason I like nerds, they know everything," he said, adding a wink.

I just gaped at him. I'm losing my mind because this Liam guy was flirting with me right. He said he liked nerds, as in me. But no one liked me, at least not in that way.

"My dad is Hebrew, mom met him when she went on a vacation. One thing led to another and she had me, dad wasn't in on the news, but she still chose to give me his last name tho, and that's because she's still crazy in love. I don't know Hebrew so don't ask me to say any words or recite anything" he warned playfully. I nodded wondering why he was looking into my eyes as he spoke. He was also telling me stuff I would consider private information.

"I wasn't going to do that, but I think your mom is pretty cool", I said before mentally slapping myself. What was I saying, can't I just keep my mouth shut and act dumb.

He nodded. "Yeah, she is" he agreed still smiling. " So when do I get the honors of knowing your name".

I jerked as if electrocuted. "It Arielle, Arielle Santos Rivera".

He grinned."That's a mouth full".

I smiled nervously. "We both need new classic last names don't we?" I attempted, warming up to his easy bright smiles. He nodded vigorously.

"Yeah, cool sweater by the way. We're super early, so the lecture hall will probably be empty. Wanna see something cool" he asked all excited, but even tho he was a poster guy, I didn't trust him. He could be a serial killer looking for his next victim, I was paranoid, but it was better to be safe than sorry. I shook my head, watching as his smile faded until he looked pretty sad.

"I'd like to, but not today, maybe another time" I rectified, and watched as the smile returned.

"That's fair. Let's be friends Arielle. I like you".

I got shocked a lot, but he was so blunt about everything that he had my anxiety sparking out of control. It was hard when it seemed I was faceless, but such glaring interest felt suffocating. I wanted to talk to Scarlet, she was the only one I could be free with. He leaned toward me, invading my space. I stepped back instinctively, looking at his unwavering gaze. His aura was pure, shining around his smiling harmless face. I nodded. The smile got wider, making him more gorgeous.

"Great. I'll walk you to class". He said and made to take my hand but I evaded it, there was only one guy who had the right to hold my hand. He took notice but just kept walking. I smiled, I just made a new friend. I couldn't wait to tell scarlet.

Keenan POV

I can't believe that my Dad froze my account, making my life that already sucked in the first place get an upgrade. He always went on and on that, I needed to be more social, more nicer_like I wasn't already, that I needed to take interest in the business, but on the list of all of that was for me to get a steady girlfriend. I hated his guts for trying to dictate my life after what he did... I forced myself not to think in that direction. It was fucking insane, being antisocial meant I didn't want to talk to most of the shitty people that graced this fucked up planet, not that it would be here any longer at the rate things were going. I've gotten more respect for being moody, than when I tried to be friendly. Get too nice and there's someone out there that'll try to turn you into a puppet.

My thoughts shifted to the pale-looking girl who bumped into me. My fingers crawled through my hair in frustration. I'd been so angry that I blew it all in her face. I guess I was part of the shitty population, never said I was a saint tho. She didn't get angry or try to blame me for the accident which just messed me up more. I felt like she deserved my anger, so I did just that, throwing an insult that was guaranteed to make her feel more shitty than I do. I wasn't being fair, she didn't deserve it. I think hard, remembering her striking feature. She'd been too thin, almost sparking a protectiveness in me that I didn't know I possessed. Her eyes had been a sought of green-brown color, it was striking, considering they were the first thing I took notice of, then her pale thin arms. She'd been wearing a shirt a size too big.

I shook my head, trying to get her image out, but the way she'd stared at me was unnerving. No one has looked at me like that. It was like I was all she wanted to see.

Stop being such a sap Keenan, nobody wants you for you, I told myself, snapping out of the hazy trance.

I would apologize if I came across her again. I wasn't mad at her, I was angrier at myself. At my father, his wife, and my stepbrother. Our family was fucked up.

******

Scarlet stopped driving once she saw Arielle waiting for her at their usual spot. Arielle got in beaming, as she put on her seatbelt. She turned to face Scarlet once she was done.

"I made a new friend. Liam Hashubah" Arielle blurted, unable to contain her excitement.

Scarlet gasped, her eyes widening. " Shut the front door, that is a lie, that's like saying you won a lottery for one million dollars".

"Am serious Scarlet, we met today and he said he liked nerd, he asked us to be friends, then he stuck around me until lectures were over" she recounted, not quite believing it herself.

"Wow, so what now, are you going to dump me for your new hot best friend".

Arielle laughed, hitting her knuckles against Scarlet's head, before scolding her. "Stop joking around scarlet. I'll never break up with you ok, you're like my number one person, most favorite". Scarlet smiled brightly as she awwed.

"Now that's more satisfying, I wouldn't want to go hunt and kill Liam for taking you away from me, but let's be realistic, today wasn't as shitty as we thought it would be."

Arielle nodded in agreement. "I guess I got lucky. Oh crap, I haven't eaten all day" she said as she remembered the untouched lunch pack.

"Don't sweat it, I know this crazy restaurant that just opened, and I've been dying to go there so we'll make a quick detour before going home ok".

"Sure".

"I'm going to order tons of food and you have to eat it, if not for me, at least do it for Liam," she said batting her eyelashes. Arielle shook her head, rolling her eyes. She relaxed against the window, the vibration from the car soothing her nerves. She wanted to be better too.

*****

Scarlet dropped Arielle off at home after the restaurant trip. Arielle felt full as she stepped into the house. She had tried her best to finish a plate while scarlet just kept stuffing her mouth to no end. Arielle wished she was like Scarlet sometimes, she ate whatever, without putting on additional weight.

The scent of pies wafted to her nose making her nauseous, but she forced herself into the kitchen. It smelled wholesome, but it just made Arielle want to vomit.

"Hey mom, I'm back". Her mother jerked a little in surprise as she turned to face Arielle.

She smiled as she took off the muffins she wore. "How were your lectures? Did you eat lunch?"

"Yeah, scarlet took me to a nice restaurant" she replied, glad to avoid her interrogation about her eating pattern, it was harder with the dietitian, the woman knew everything, even when she lied. Her mom looked pleased with the information about her eating out.

"You should have invited her in for dinner. I'd have loved to see her again".

"You know Scarlet, she's a party freak, so she's never free at night".

"Just go change, and take a shower, this will soon be ready".

She nodded, walking to her room to avoid more questions. Everything was neat just as she left it. She liked everything in its place, going over to Scarlet's place always made her cranky. She left her stuff all over the place, it was so bad that Arielle had to clench her hand to avoid cleaning the place.

She took off her sweater, walking past the mirror, she'd almost succeeded with not checking, but just a glimpse at her reflection had her moving back. She stood in front of it, looking at her body. Was she putting on weight? She almost panicked but quickly fought the irrational urge. Everyone always commented on her weight making her feel self-conscious, even simple comments like 'wow you look better today' felt like they were telling her that she was becoming fatter. She checked to be sure, but it was pointless, all she did see was fat. She forced herself away from it, pulled off her pants, then stepped into the shower room. The warm water falling on her skin had her fears disappearing into the Air. She clenched her hand, deciding to try harder, like Scarlet had said once to her the last time they fought over her obsession with Keenan, she'd told her that Keenan would never like her even if she looked like a skeleton, Scarlet had a way to make her words hurt, but it was true. Her physical exam was just the next week, she hated it but she wanted the doctor's praise that she'd done a good job. She stepped out of the shower and pulled on the bathrobe. She'd just go with the flow and not overthink. One day at a time, one meal at a time, one boy at a time. She scoffed internally at herself. Yeah right.