Only You

Adira could see how reluctant her brother was to leave. But he tried his best to mask his emotions. Not feeling satisfied about it, she approached Levi who was packing his belongings.

"Hey." She greeted.

"Hey" he replied, rather gloomily, not even looking up at her.

"What is bothering you Levi?" she went straight to the point, not wanting to beat around the bush.

"Nothing." He mumbled, clearly irritated by Adira's question.

"No. It is not nothing." She stated making him sigh and look up at her.

"What do you want?" he grumbled.

"I want my brother to be happy." Adira shrugged.

Levi smiled at Adira's statement.

"I am happy. I honestly am happy that you found your prince charming. I really am happy for you. You deserve it actually. You have gone through so much. And to tell the truth, I am damn proud of you." He commented.

But Adira just shook her head.

"No. I mean. I want YOU to be happy. I want YOU to find the one for you. Now don't lie and say that you are fine, because I know for a fact that you are not." She paused her lips in a thin line, contemplating on whether she should be frank or not. But it was clear Levi was not going to tell her on his own. Perhaps she should go straight to the point.

Sighing she sat down on the bed and looked straight in to Levi's face. He stared back at her, his face now solemn.

"Can I guess? If I am correct, promise me that you will tell me the truth." She demanded.

"Do I have a choice?" he shrugged as he slumped on the mattress right beside her.

"Is it about Clair?" she asked as carefully as she could, making him snap his head towards her.

"Huh?" he gasped and Adira giggled. "How did you......" the colour from his face drained completely. "Did she tell? Is she going around telling everyone?" he gasped.

Adira frowned as she shook her head, placing a hand on his.

"What? No. She didn't say anything. It is just that....I saw how you looked at her and talked to her. It was clear you liked her. I was hoping that something might happen between both of you." Adira paused.

"Can you tell me what happened?" she asked once again.

Levi let out a humourless laugh.

"You know me too well. Too damn well. I cannot hide anything from you." Muttering in slow voice, he looked at his sister who was waiting for him to tell what was bothering him.

"You are right. I like her. I even tried to ask her to go on a date with me. I thought she also liked me. But she kind of said no." He paused for sometime and looked at his sister who was listening to him.

"Actually, that day. We danced together and I loved holding her. She was so......perfect....." he added smiling dreamily. "I took her to the balcony of this place where we could have a bit of privacy so that we could talk. I loved every minute of it." He then sighed and looked away, a hint of sadness invaded his face.

"But when I tried to ask her on a date she got worried and started to show excuses. She said that she was a single mother. Something about being damaged goods." Making a face, he shook his head.

"So she has a kid. So what? I don't mind." He complained. "I thought she would say yes.... because of the way she kissed me......" He trailed off, sensing that he had said too much.

Adira was left speechless. This whole Clair and Levi situation was a huge mess. It was far from being a happy story.

"And are you going to just let her go?" she pushed.

Levi shrugged.

"I've tried so hard this week. But she just ignores me. I even tried to corner her when I found her alone. But...... I don't know Adira. Maybe because I am not rich." He added, in a low voice as he fiddled with his fingers.

Adira shook her head. Clair was not a girl like that. She most probably was traumatized after being with Mr. Stone for such a long time. Perhaps she was doubting herself of worthy of being loved.

"But...." Adira wanted to push her brother towards Clair. Both of them deserved a chance to be together. But Levi sighed.

"I think I should go back to my village and focus on building my career first. Then, perhaps I can think of girls." He smiled at Adira, who was definitely not satisfied with the situation.

She walked out of the room with Levi and bid her family goodbye. They were all prepared to go to the train station so that they could catch the train home. They left, promising to call and visit often.

Sighing to herself she turned around to go to the kitchen. Just as she was about to enter she heard someone sobbing in the shadows of the huge pillar. Furrowing her eyebrows she peeked from behind to see who it was. To her surprise Clair was trying to control her sobs and cries as she kept wiping her tears away.

"I am so sorry Levi." She whispered, thinking that no one was in ear shot. "You deserve someone better than me. I hope you find the worthy one. Because you are the sweetest guy I have ever met." Her hushed whispers made Adira freeze on her spot.

What in the world......

Clair pov.

I watched silently as they prepared to leave. My heart continued to weep for him. For us. But how could I give us a chance? He deserved the best things in the world. Not someone like me. Not someone who is still fighting to forget those horrible memories of being forcefully removed from your home. Or those terrible flashbacks of how me and the other girls were transferred in food containers by those heartless human traffickers.

In addition to those unwanted memories, my sleep is haunted by nightmares of Mr. Stone. The one who owned me. Who enslaved me during my mid teens. I was barely eighteen when I got pregnant with my first child, Nolan.

He is the one who fathered my child. But I refuse to acknowledge him as his father. He is not worthy of being called a father. And I most certainly don't want to let my child know that he is related to such a vile man.

I was lost in my own thoughts when Levi walked in front of me and extended his hand to shake mine. His face showed signs of hopelessness and defeat. Lowering his gaze he gulped down.

"Good bye Clair." He whispered and followed his parents out side, without waiting for an answer from me.

My heart broke with each step he took. No! Wait! It kept screaming. Gulping down the discomfort in my throat I tried to tell my self that I was doing the right thing. This was for his own good. And perhaps this was the best for all of us.

Alas, as soon as he walked out of the door, I felt the tears spill from my eyes. He was gone. He was gone for good. I will miss him so much. Trying to hide my tears from everyone, I quickly moved behind the pillar. The past week had been the most magical, yet hard and confusing week for me. I realised that I had started to have feelings for Levi but......it was just too complicated. My life was too messed up for a great guy like him to get involved in it.

I had met Levi two months back when I went to Seol's national college during an awareness program that I and Adira initiated. Ever since I was saved by Austin and his friends from Mr. Stone two years ago, I had made it the purpose of my life to help those who are in similar situations, in addition to creating awareness. We had successfully completed several such programs in the past.

Since Austin got engaged to Adira, she too took interest in our work. Surprisingly, she was pretty good at everything. It was as if she knew about everything way before, though she was just new in the city. And that particular program held in the city college was one Adira suggested. As she thought it was important for us to create awareness among college girls. She told about her brother who was a senior there, who might be able to help us get permission to carry out the program. That was where I first met him. The one who had effortlessly captured my heart. Levi. My prince charming.

Never had I thought even in my wildest dreams that I would fall in love. But with Levi, it only took two months for me to realise that I was madly in love with him. And when he asked me out on a date on Adira and Austin's wedding reception, I was over the moon.

However, the memories and my disturbing thoughts interfered. What if I ruin this? What if he regrets dating me? What if he hates me once he realises the complete truth? He knows about Nolan and that I am a single mother. But did he know that I was completely damaged on the inside?

No. I couldn't do it. He deserved better. Way better than me. In fact he deserved the best. Not a damaged person like me.

I tried my best to silence my sobs, fearing that someone might hear me. But my of breath and my hiccups made it so hard. Sniffling, I wiped my snot off my face as tears continuously streamed out of my eyes.

"I am so sorry Levi. You deserve someone better than me. I hope you find the worthy one. Because you are the sweetest guy I have ever met." I whispered to myself.

I just had to let it out for the sake of my sanity. Good lord I love him. And he deserves the best. Let's hope that he finally finds the princess that he deserves.

I spend a great deal of time behind the pillar, crying to my heart's content. Nolan had already slept and to my good luck he didn't wake up at the middle of the night. Perhaps he sensed his mother's distress. When I moved away from where I was hiding, everyone had retreated back to their rooms. I tiptoed to the room specialised for me and Nolan. When I opened, I saw he was sleeping peacefully in his crib.

He looked just like a little angel as he slept. His little thumb was in his mouth as he made small suckling motions with his little pouty lips. The soft jet black hair was matted to his forehead with his sweat. He looked so adorable in his footie pyjama. He was my child. And only mine.

Smiling at my little Nolan I tilted my head. He was part of me. His future was what mattered most to me. How I could I expect Levi to be part of it?

Sighing sadly, I caressed his little head, feeling the softness of his hair.

"Mommy cannot love anyone. Isn't it Nolan? But that's ok baby. I know you will always be there for me." I whispered to my little one as I fought against my tears.

However, despite my efforts, my tears betrayed me. And soon, it streamed down my cheeks. My heart wept with me, while my brain scolded me for being so stupid. I felt so torn between my desires and logic.

Why does it have to be so hard to do the right thing?

I forced my self to change and lie down on my bed, hoping to get some sleep, though I didn't feel sleepy at all. I had a long day ahead tomorrow. Once again, it is part of my awareness sessions, and this time, it is at the city high school. Perhaps I should focus more on my work. Maybe I should take that course Lilli had told me about. Bachelor's in psychology. Yeah. Perhaps I should get so busy in life that I don't remember about my personal life.

I continued to toss and turn on my bed, trying to force my eyes to shut, hoping that somehow I would be able to get some sleep. I have to do a lot of work in the morning anyway. Adira and Austin will leave on their honeymoon for two weeks leaving Lilli and Henry in charge. And I will have to take charge of the volunteer work.

"Sleep. Damn it!" I cursed under my breath. But all what I could think of was the magical moment I spent with Levi at the wedding reception.

*flashback*

He lead me towards the balcony and I foolishly followed him. I knew it was not good. Because I was already so hopelessly falling for this human in front of me. But still, I couldn't stop myself from fulfilling my desires to spend sometime with him. He will leave to go to his village soon anyway.

We leaned against the railing. My already cold hands trembled as it touched the cold metal of the railing. The cool night breeze played with my hair. The star studded night sky and the colourful city lights made it even better

"Isn't it beautiful?" his husky voice made me shiver as goose bumps crawled my skin. Good lord. What was this guy doing to me? I gulped down- hard trying to ease the palpitations of my heart.

"What do you think Clair?" he asked once again when I took too long to answer.

"Hmm....yes. oh yeah. It is nice." I managed to say, my voice rather shaky. Being alone with him was way harder than I anticipated.

"But you know. Nights like these look better in the village. The stars in the sky seem brighter and....it is just better." He told me looking in to the sky dreamily.

I sighed as I looked up. He was right. I remember how it was when I was in my village. It sure is better. However, I would never go back. I dreaded that place. Who knew what my aunt might do to me if she finds out that I am finally free. Or worse. What if she tries to do something to my Nolan? I refuse to go back to that hell hole.

I managed to smile a little and nod in agreement. Just because I hate that place doesn't mean Levi would hate it. I bet his parents gave him all the love that he deserved.

My thoughts were invaded by him trying to hold my hand. To my surprise, he was staring at me like he never did. At least I never noticed it.

I froze.

He lifted his hand and tucked away a loose strand of hair behind my ear making me shiver and goose bumps crawl all over my body. My lips parted in shock. Before I could do anything, he lowered his head towards mine and his lips slowly claimed mine. I felt as if I might melt in to his arms. He held me in his hold, carefully, yet firmly, making sure that I don't fall down.

Before I knew it, I was responding to his kiss. My arms snaked around his neck while our lips continued to tease each other.

When he finally let go of me and placed his forehead against mine, gasping for breath, I was able to look in to his eyes as he chuckled.

Smiling, I traced his lips.

"Clair....." he whispered. "I really like you."

I was speechless. He...liked me? Of all the people, me? But.....I was...

"Can I ask you out on a date?" he asked once again.

Yes!!!!! My heart screamed. However, my brain started to wave the red flag. What about Nolan? What about all those trauma? And your nightmares? Does he deserve to suffer because of your mental trauma? My heart sank.

"I....I can't." I whispered, stepping back from his arms.

He was shocked. His happy demeanour quickly transformed into hurt. Oh God. No.

"I... am a single mother...you...you can't ....I am damaged goods....I can't Levi...." I stammered as my heart begged for me to stop. But no. I just can't do this. I turned around and ran away wishing that I never met Levi. little droplets of salty tears flew from my eyes as I ran towards my room.

I am sorry Levi. Forgive me

*End of flashback*

Narrator

Clair managed to fall asleep after a long time. However, her sleep was far from being peaceful. She tossed and turned on her bed. Little beads of sweat formed on her forehead due to her distress.

She was running away from him. How in the world did he wake up from his eternal sleep? How was it even possible that he came back from death. Aren't dead people supposed to stay dead? She glanced over her shoulder as she continued to run through the thick foliage of the forest. But as soon as she did, she wished she didn't look back. What she saw made her heart want to jump out of her rib cage.

There was this ghostly figure running after her – no galloping after her on all fours. It's face was Mr. Stone's, however it was rather pale and it looked as if it was partly decayed. There was blood and drool coming out of the corners of it's mouth. It's clothes were torn and tattered and pieces of fabric flew with the breeze as he galloped after her. His arms and legs seemed longer than it used to. He was not Mr. Stone. Yet it was him. She knew it.

He was coming to get her. He was coming to get revenge for killing him. But she didn't have another choice. She had to. Mr. Stone was an evil person. He was a drug dealer, a human trafficker and a heartless terrorist. He had to be killed.

"Help!" she screamed. However it was in vain. Who would be there to listen to her cries in the dense forest in the dead of the night? Then to her good luck, she saw a little shack. Maybe this was her chance to save herself. With a frantic heart, she sprinted in to the shack and slammed the door shut. After locking the door, she stepped back, hoping that it would work.

But alas, the wooden door was not a match for the ghostly form of Mr. Stone. He smashed the door, making little pieces of wood to scatter all over the place. His glowing red eyes landed on Clair, who was trembling in fear.

Laughing eerily, he advanced towards the petrified girl who was crouched to a corner.

"Where is my child you whore?!!??" his voice was raspy and eerie. It filled the entire atmosphere and seemed to echo when he spoke. Clair was too terrified to say anything, as she sensed his cold hands grab on to her legs. His ugly black claws dug in to her flesh making blood trickle on to the floor.

"No. Leave me alone!"

Clair gasped as she tried her best to remove the claws that held on to her. The claws of the one who had once bought her. The one who she thought was dead. The father of her child.

Mr. Stone.

"You are dead! Dead!" she screamed, still trying to move away.

He started to laugh, a ghostly, raspy, creepy laugh, that filled the air. The foul smell of death filled the entire room when he opened his mouth wider than a normal person could.

"Nooooo!" Clair screamed when Mr. Stone started to devour her.

*****

Clair woke up from her nightmare, soaked in sweat, and gasping for breath.

"It was just a nightmare." She told herself. Just then, her phone dinged. It was a message from Levi, Adira's twin. The sweetest guy she knew.

Please Clair. Just one date.

It said. Clair bit her lips. How was she going to give him a chance when she was not ready......? Her eyes stung with tears which she tried hard to ignore. Another ding from her phone made her look once again.

Please Clair. I will go back to the city. I just want one date. I will prove to you that I am worthy of you. I will work hard to keep you happy. I promise I will love you till death do us part. Just give me one chance.

The tears that she fought against so hard finally won and they streamed down her cheeks. Does Levi think that he is not worthy of her? Shaking her head, she closed her eyes and placed a hand on her chest, hoping to calm her aching heart.

"Levi. It's not you who is not worthy. It is me. I am not good enough for you. I am so broken that there is little to no hope that I will be able to make our lives a happy one. I am so sorry Levi. But this is for your own good." She whispered, fully knowing that no one else except her could hear her. Tears continuously soaked her sheets while she held on to her aching heart.

"I am sorry.... I am so sorry...." she sobbed, slowly drifting off to sleep once again.

The next morning, Clair dragged herself towards the daily tasks. She felt rather lethargic. Perhaps due to lack of sleep. How could she get a good night's sleep anyway? Whenever she closes her eyes Mr. Stone attacks her in some form. Her nights were filled with dreaded nightmares and whenever she is left alone, she suffers from dreadful flashbacks of her past.

But she didn't feel comfortable to tell anyone about it. She wanted to run away from it. She wanted to forget it. She wished that she could erase that part from her memory. But it was impossible. All those miserable days were a part of her life. It would have a huge impact on her life. She could only pray that those memories and unfortunate events doesn't control her.

"Mama." Nolan's little cries gained Clair's attention. Smiling at her little one, she hurried to clean him up so that she could go downstairs to feed him his breakfast. This little human had always made life better for her. Ever since he had taken his first breath in to this world, she had found a good reason to look forward to live.

She loved doing her voluntary work, helping others in abusive relationships and organising awareness programs. However, her life now depended on this little human, who had he wrapped around her little finger.

When she went in to the living room, Adira and Austin were already prepared to leave.

"Remember to call us if you need anything." Austin said as he did a weird fist bump with Henry.

"Yeah. We would be lucky if you pick the phone." Lilli muttered through her smirk.

"Let's hope they actually remember to go sight seeing instead of spending the whole two weeks on the bed?" Henry high fived his wife, Lilli, who broke in to a fit of hysterical laughter.

"So what if we do? At least we didn't go shagging in the living room at night." Austin smirked at Lilli, who's face turned bright red. Henry grinned at that. He seemed to be rather proud.

Adira let out a controlled chuckle.

"Whatever Austin. I'd be surprised if you guys don't get pregnant soon." Lilli responded, not wanting to back off.

"And y'all should learn from that!" came Henry's mother's voice.

The four leaders went stiff as they turned towards the entrance. Their eyes widened when they saw a very confused Clair, holding baby Nolan and Henry's mother a few feet behind her.

"I told you. I need grand children. I wonder what is wrong with these youngsters." Henry's mother tsked as she walked in to the kitchen.

Clair bit her lips, trying not to laugh as she followed Henry's mother.

"Uhh. Hey Clair. Do you have everything you need for Nolan?" Austin asked and Clair nodded.

"You sure? Diapers, baby food..... Anything?" he asked.

Biting her lips and feeling a little guilty for depending on him so much, she nodded. Maybe she should try to get a job. But what?

"What are you thinking about?" Lilli asked.

"I....I kind of feel weird....maybe I should go for a job." Clair told them honestly.

However the four leaders smiled shaking their heads.

"No. You need to go to college. Study first. Then maybe you can look for a job. I am telling you, I will take care of the fees." Austin told her.

"Come on Clair. I know you can do it. We are here to help." Lilli urged as Adira also nodded in agreement.

"Don't loose this chance kid." Henry said.

Clair smiled. Maybe they were right. She should study. Only then would she get a decent job so that she could take good care of her little baby.

"Ok." She agreed, making Lilli grin.

"Cool. So let's look up the courses in the college." Lilli jumped in ecstasy.

Nolan screamed, waving his little hand, making a fuss. Clair giggled.

"He is hungry." She murmured.

"Right. Let's get some food in that little tummy of yours." Lilli said, as she tickled Nolan, making his laugh.

"Awwww. Isn't the sound of babies laughing the sweetest?" Henry's mother called out from the kitchen.

Lilli and Henry looked at each other with wide eyes. Adira and Austin bit their lips, trying their best to hold back their laughter, whole Clair too grinned from ear to ear. They all knew what was going to come.

"That is why I am telling y'all. Get pregnant!" she yelled from inside.

"Yup." Henry whispered, nodding, making Lilli glare at him.

"Let's just have breakfast and leave Adi. Otherwise we will be late." Austin said as he swallowed his urge to laugh.