One night and everything changes

*** In Sarah's skin ***

I went to have a coffee with my best friend Helena. We are chatting around a table and each holding their cup of coffee.

Helena: So, are you okay? Why are you doing this head?

It is true that I make a skull, to tell the truth I ignore where to put my head, I am full of anxiety.

Helena (snapping my fingers to get me out of my thoughts): hey ooh! What are you thinking there? Your coffee will cool.

I really don't go well morally, I don't know where to start. Always with trouble constantly, I start to believe that I have bad luck in my veins. I know that I exaggerate by saying this but it is stronger than me what I live.

I take the cup of coffee, I drink a sip and place it again on the small table. Helena is constantly probing me, she awaits an explanation for all this. She knows there is something that bothers me and I can't hide anything on my emotions. I would say that it is the only person after my father to really know me.

Helena: Sarah, don't make me waste my time, give birth! I know there is something wrong so I listen to you.

Sarah (I sigh): I ... I am at the end ... I ...

Without realizing it, I am shedding tears. She takes my hands, her eyes compatiating with my pain. I am at a time of my life when I no longer know where to put my head. Often I wonder if suicide will help me get rid of the burdens of life.

Helena: Ssst ... I'm here ... (she makes a sign to the server that brings us a glass of water, she gives me the glass of water) a little water, it will do you good.

I drink the water, wipe the tears with my thumb and then take a deep inspiration.

Sarah: It's pregnancy.

Helena: What? Is the baby well? Is there a problem?

Sarah: None of this, I'm about 5 weeks of pregnancy and I don't know how to announce it to Joaquim. You know him, he can take this pregnancy badly.

Helena: You are not telling me that you plan to get rid of it, if this is the case and well I will not support you.

Sarah: No ... far from me, the idea of ​​getting rid of this pregnancy. I have already made ideas on the baby you know!? How to hold it, give it breasts, rock it ...

Helena (sad mine): Ah yeah I see! And Joaquim, have you never hit the conversation of having children?

Sarah: Hmm no, you know it's not someone very sociable, you can never chat with him, always on the nerves. Pouf, I'm starting to be fed up. I don't think he's ready to be a father and that's what scares me the most.

Helena: Maybe with the arrival of your future baby, he will start taking his life in hand and being more responsible.

Yes, there are people with the arrival of children they change positively and I hope it will be the case for Joaquim. Everyone wonders why I am with a guy like Joaquim, the truth is that I love Joaquim. I hope it will change but the more time passes and the more I start to lose this hope. If he does not want to change his way of life and well I will end up leaving him to live the life I want. But for the moment, we will see what will happen when he learns that he will be a dad.

Sarah: Yes ... you may be right and I should be a little more patient.

When I talk about patience, I was really patient and I am still with him. Soon we will be six years of relationship and when I think I dropped everything for him, my school, my family. Obviously, no member of my family agreed with our relationship but I have stubbornly and I don't know if I regret it today.

All I know is that Joaquim is not the same guy I fell in love, I discovered another side of him when we decided to live under the same roof.

Helena: What do you plan to tell her the news when?

Sarah: I don't know, but not for the moment. Already that there are tensions between us if I add it, it will make a bigger concern.

Helena: You can do it, maybe about three months of pregnancy.

My phone starts to ring, I check and I see that it is Joaquim who tries to join me, I don't want to get to his call. I put the phone that continues to ring, Helena gives me a look to try to understand the reason why I do not answer the call.

Helena: Who?

Sarah: Joaquim!

Helena: But what are you waiting for to answer this call?

Sarah (sighing): I don't want to.

Helena: Sarah, what are you playing there? Yesterday you were madly in love with him and today you don't even want to answer his call, I imagine that tomorrow will be even worse. Pff!

Sarah: I don't want Wesh.

Helena: If Joaquim calls you it is for two reasons and you know, either to ask you where and with whom you are either he wants to apologize after having shit.

Sarah: We argued last night and he dared to raise my hand on me, I did not hesitate to fuck him outside even if I know that it is his apartment.

Helena: Phew! I start to believe that your mother may be right, Joaquim is not the ideal guy for you ...

Sarah: Helled, please ... It's not the time.

Helena: It's true, you deserve someone good, a man with the big H, the one who will love you, take care of yourself and respect yourself ... Not this bastard who beats you all day long.

Sarah: It's me, I caused her.

She drops a big breath.

Helena: He's gone, you feel guilty again. Although you could have done, it is not a reason for him to raise his hand on you, there are only the pigs that do that. Yes, the cowards which, instead of fighting with their equals, they let off steam on their joints....

PVD from Sarah.

The phone starts to ring.

Helena: You better take this call or he may disembark here and get in a spectacle. Besides, I would say that it is his biggest talent, to make scenes in public.

As you can imagine, Helena does not like Joaquim at all, she does not agree with our relationship but it is my choice after all, she can only respect him.

Speaking of the wolf, we see his tail, Joaquim does not hang out to show himself. I see him park the car.

I describe my dear boyfriend Joaquim, he is twenty six years old (26 years old), he is brown, it is a beautiful kid that cigarettes and drugs are destroying. Joaquim works but I do not know exactly in what he works, he wins a lot of income, at the beginning I tried to know where he found these sums of money but I never had an answer, often he gets carried away when I approach the subject.

He comes down from the car and heads for us.

Helena: What did I say!? It only remains to cross your fingers to prevent it from showing us.

He arrives at our level, his face tense. I'm more than calm than usual. I don't know what's happening to me today, I want to provoke it, maybe it's pregnancy. Do you think?

Joaquim: Hi! ; Does it throw nervously.

Helena: Hi Joaquim!

I don't look at him but I feel his eyes riveted on me, his eyes reddened with anger. I take the cup of coffee that I drink provocative, I place the cup on the table again.

Joaquim: Sarah, what are you playing?

Helena (giving her a chair): Uh ... there is room, sit down!

Joaquim: No ... Thank you!

He leans towards me with a killer mine.

Joaquim: Sarah?

Sarah: Hmm ... Oops, sorry! Did you say?

Joaquim (hugging my wrist): Why don't you answer the call ??

Sarah: I haven't seen your calls.

He straightens up and lets go of my hand, he gets his phone out of his pocket, he looks at me by launching the call. My phone on the table starts to ring.

He smiles nervously then leans again at me, this time he tightens my wrist more, I start to moan in pain.

Sarah: Let go, you hurt me!

Joaquim: Have you kidnapped me, since when did you not answer my calls?

Sarah (by getting rid of her grip): I do what I want, I didn't want to answer your call. Are you satisfied!?

Helena: Listen, it's not the time to yell at you, people have their eyes riveted.

Indeed, people around us are only to spy on us.

He pulls me to get me out of here, he drags me by force to the car. He brings me in force in his car and in turn enters the vehicle and then starts it and we return.

Throughout the journey, no one spoke to the other. I was in my corner and he was content to smoke and drive. It's total silence until we get home.

I get off the car and hurry to come back. He began his car and starts to call me while continuing to me. I do not answer him, we enter the living room, I go to our bedroom but he blocks the passage to me. He places himself in front of me thus barring the way to enter the room.

Sarah (sigh): What do you love me at the end? Are you not tired of always landing unexpectedly, making a scene in public?

Joaquim: It was you who looked for it well, you should have won this fucking phone ... Besides, tell me something! Why didn't you do it?

Sarah: Crazy me peace Joaquim, I am tired of all this. I need sleep.

Joaquim (tightening my teeth and his fists): don't push me to the end, Sarah.

Sarah: Otherwise what!? Are you going to hit me? Don't bother, do it! Anyway, hitting me is part of your passes. I'm not your tom-tam huh, I'm not a child. I need space, I'm tired of having all the time on your back.

Joaquim: We will set the rules, now I want to know where and with whom you are, when I call you you pick up. You are not allowed to speak with men behind my back, be it a member of the family, friends ... I have to know it.

Sarah: In your dreams.

He gives me a violent slap, I hold my cheek and fix it with a disgusted air. I jostle it from my visit and will lock myself into the room. He kicks the door and throws me insults. But I'm too busy crying to listen to it.

I sit on the bed and touch my belly, this baby is the only thing that still gives me hope that everything will be able to be well after birth.

Joaquim (behind the door by violating the door violently): get out of this room, we have to talk.

Let him go to hell!

*** In Sarah's skin ***

It's been more than an hour since I locked myself in the room, I think he finally calmed down, I no longer hear any sign of him, tonight I'm going to sleep without dinner because I don't want to get out of the room anymore.

I take my phone and start looking at a photo of my father and me before he died. I see this face again, I miss my dad terribly, if he were there, things would not have happened in this way. I will not find myself in this shit because it was following his disappearance that I sank in this shit of life, in a deep depression.

I was so pain that I started detailed, I found myself making bad choices, Joaquim was there to help me go for the course and this is how we started our relationship which gradually becomes my worst nightmare.

I hear the noise of the wrist, it is surely Joaquim who unlocks the door because I had locked it. I rush to turn off the phone and then go to bed on the bed, I pretend to sleep. I'm waiting for advanced steps to me, I always continue to pretend. I feel it near me, I feel his hand pass on my hair.

I leave my eyes in mid-closed, I see him sitting near me, he turns his head towards me and I immediately close.

Joaquim: I'm sorry baby, believe me I'm trying to master myself but often you push me to the end.

I listen to him without flinching. He gives me a kiss on my forehead, then I feel a blanket on me. I continue my game, he will go to bed next to me.

I woke up and I can't find it on the bed, I'm going to take my shower. I dry my hair, I look at myself in the mirror and I see the trace of the slap.

I camouflage it with makeup and go out from the room. I see Joaquim in the kitchen, I don't know what he is going to. I will join him.

Joaquim: Ah, are you? Good morning my love !

Sarah: Hello!

Joaquim: Sit, I'm going to serve breakfast.

The dining table is weird. Joaquim who cooks? It's unheard of that. I sit and look at him put the table. He serves breakfast and sits in turn.

Joaquim: Good appetite!

Sarah: Thank you!

Joaquim: We'll go take a look at the beach, that tells you!?

Sarah: Why not?

We eat in silence, I sometimes feel that he is watching me, I imagine that he is embarrassed but it is not his first time to raise my hand on me.

We finish having breakfast, I get rid of the table, he will take some things for the beach, I take the opportunity to rinse these few dirty dishes. He comes back to always find me washing the plates but I'm almost finished.

Joaquim: I'm ready, take what is important and join me in the car.

I finish doing the dishes, I take with me a swimsuit with a mailot cache for woman transparent pompom cord with indigo blue color and a hat. I'm going to join him in the car, head for the beach!

Silence is too heavy.

Joaquim: Listen to Sarah, I'm ... I apologize for what happened last night, I don't know that it took me but I swear that I sincerely regret it.

I don't really know what to say to him, I am tired of his apologies, which he knocks me and after that come back to apologize. He turns his head towards me and I pretend to smile at him. We arrive at the beach, we are landing to enjoy the sun.

After a while, I decide to go swimming, I leave my things with Joaquim who does not want to swim today. So much the better, I will be able to breathe for a moment without having it in my legs.

How good that it is to swim in this period of April!

I observe Joaquim, lying down, he has nothing to do with this guy huh. After thirty minutes, I get out of the water and join him. He brings me two cocktail, one for him and the other for me.

Sarah: Go swimming, it will do you a great good believe me.

Joaquim: I don't want to.

Sarah: How you want! Did you find a stable job?

Joaquim (raising the eyebrows): Now is not the time to talk about this!

Sarah: Joaquim, I don't want us to continue to lead this life. Drugs reports nothing legitimate, I don't want to find myself in the future with a fatherless kid.

Joaquim: Huh!? I will always be there.

Sarah: Stop selling drugs, it's not a job.

Joaquim: If I didn't make a good earlier my life, I will not be able to take care of you. I give you whatever you want, so be grateful by closing your mouth.

Sarah: I tried to find you work, a real job that goes to you ...

My phone starts ringing, he takes it and sees that it is Thomas. He frowns and gives me a questionnaire look. Joaquim is the most jealous guy on this earth, he forces me to be in communication with guys whether friends or sometimes cousins ​​to me.

Thomas is a childhood friend, his parents are very friends with mine, I had lost contact with him but we started talking to each other for some time and I asked him for help to find work in Joaquim. I try to recover the phone from his hand but he dodges me.

Joaquim: Who is Thomas?

Sarah: A friend of mine.

Joaquim: Ah a friend? Are you kidding me now? Answer me! What are you doing with a guy as a friend? Are you sleeping with him?

That's it, it raises the tone and all eyes are on us.

Sarah: Calm down, that's not what you think.

Joaquim: Ah yeah? The fucking of your race, I told you that I don't want you with other guys and what are you doing to me? You speak with a certain whore son behind my back.

Sarah: But please calm down. People look at us here Joaquim.

Joaquim: I don't give a damn that people observe us. We're going to set this at home.

He pulls me by the arm and we go home. Here we are at home once again with a tense atmosphere.

Joaquim: Now you're going to tell me who is really this whore son who called you.

Sarah: Are you not tired of screaming for no reason? I told you his name is Thomas, I asked him to help me with work, he called me for that surely.

Joaquim: You won't work, is it clear?

Sarah: This job is for you! I am tired of leading this life, imagine that you get caught by the police, you will find yourself behind bars.

We started to get angry and this time he started driving me, I think Joaquim still smoked joints. He kicks me everywhere and even in my stomach, I collapse, I start to vomit blood while begging him to stop but he continues to kick me in my stomach, I twist in pain. I lose awareness.