On The Border

"Do you, Alex Snow, take Jennifer Walker, to be your lawfully wedded wife? From this day forward, to have and to hold, for better, for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?" the priest asked.

My soon to be; in a couple of seconds, husband looks at me with the eyes of a beast, ready to rip me apart at any second as he says tightly "I do"

Although he just vowed to take me as his wife, to hold, love and cherish, his 'I do' vowed something else entirely.

It was an oath to make me suffer horribly at his hands.

"Do you, Jennifer Walker, take Alex Snow, to be your lawfully wedded husband? From this day forward, to have and to hold, for better, for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?"

I look at him defiantly with my head held high, piercing him with my hatred and loath, telling him that I don't fear him, as I answer without an ounce of hesitation "I do"

As soon as the words left my mouth I was certain, I just sealed my own fate by marrying Alex Snow.

Fate had a merciless, screwed up sense of humor when it set me up with this monster, and made me marry him in a last minute forced marriage, or more like imprisonment.

And my fate was crystal clear, death is coming for me...sooner rather than later.

Jenny's POV

ONE WEEK EARLIER

I wake up to the sound of my father screaming in rage, followed by something smashing on the floor.

It was such a typical way to wake up, like waking up to an alarm every morning. It became a daily routine in this house a long time ago.

I close my eyes and curse inwardly. Another day god didn't answer my prayer to take that man's life in his sleep.

There is always tomorrow, I thought with a sigh.

I used to hate myself for praying for my father's death every night. It made me feel like a bad person. But as the days passed, as I became certain he will never change into a better person, that feeling went away.

I get up from the bed and head towards my bathroom.

I stare at myself in the mirror for a long time, trying to recognize the person staring back at me. It wasn't me. Or it wasn't who I wanted to be. Why? Well, there are so many reasons that I don't even know from which one to begin.

First and foremost , I lived in this god forsaken deadbeat of a town.

God, how I hate this town. How I curse my damn luck for having the unfortunate fate of being born and raised here. Where is here you ask? I will tell you.

I live in an extremely small town called 'Snow'. It is a town with a population of around 500 people, located in Alaska; more specifically, located within a collection of mountains that spread all the way across the border between America and Canada.

Yukon, Canada was about a half hour drive from here, through the mountain road.

This specific feature made it the perfect place for smuggling anything from and across the border.

What kinds of things? Anything.

Electronics, medications, goods, gold, alcohol, cigarettes, fabrics, the list can go on forever.

Guns and ammunitions are the number one products that are smuggled through this town. The most profitable one.

Illegal drugs such as heroine, are worth all those things I listed multiplied by ten. But, they were forbidden from entering or leaving through this town.

Who gets to decide all this?

The Snows.

They are the people who started this whole thing.

They are the ones I blame for being stuck here.

If it weren't for their great great grand father, this place would have been just a pile of rocks and a massive stretch of empty land.

It was never meant to become an inhabited town.

But given its unique advantage, its unlimited source of incoming money, the original Snow family started the whole smuggling business.

They started building up the town with the money they received from smuggling, they moved in, brought and attracted other people from nearby towns; that's where my family comes into the picture, and established this town. Its people called it 'Snow' honoring the original family for creating life into the town.

And because of their continuous contribution to the prosperity of 'Snow', their name was plastered everywhere in this place.

They owned pretty much the whole town. Snow school, Snow hospital, Snow supermarket, Snow anything you can think about.

Snow police department, now that sentence is a fucking joke on its own, you can imagine what kind of protecting and serving they were doing.

They are the alarm system for when the real police come for a random bust desperately trying; and failing, to stop the smuggling business. The SPD protected the Snows, just like everyone in this town.

While the whole town was in the smuggling business at the beginning; my family included, the more the town got built and established, people gradually started earning their money through the legal businesses established by the laundered money from smuggling, leaving the Snows solely in charge of the illegal activities of this town.

The Snows are about half our population now, they are a tight, loyal clan.

A criminal clan with a moral code, how fucking ironic.

They don't allow addictive drugs or human trafficking to be smuggled through this town.

That is their number one rule.

Most of them are wanted outside the town for suspicion of unsolved crimes and illegal criminal activities.

They are safe inside the town, but not so much outside it.

While the Snows make up half of our population, the Walkers; my family, make up about a quarter of the population.

I only have one uncle and cousin, but there are a lot of other distant relatives living in the town with the last name Walker.

My father and uncle worked tightly with the Snows for the past thirty years, despite owning a legal trading business in the town.

None of them needed the illegal business anymore, the town can probably prosper solely on the numerous legal businesses running through out the town.

We were all loaded with money that can keep us living for years to come, and the Snows had a lot more than us. But greed is a fat demon with a small mouth and whatever you feed it, it is never enough.

Lately, my father and the head of the Snow clan named Isaac Snow were having some kind of disagreements I couldn't give a damn about.

What I gave a damn about was that because of those disagreements with the Snows, he was even more intolerable than ever.

And we were always at the receiving end of his abuse.

He unleashed his anger on us. Mostly on my poor mom, but I always intervene so she doesn't suffer alone.

He was an abusive asshole. He has been like this ever since I could remember. At first I was too young. My mom always tried to protect me from his beatings and took all the harsh treatments on herself. But after I grew up enough, I couldn't watch helpless anymore, or cover my ears with a pillow and hide under the covers every time, I couldn't keep singing a song to drown out the sounds of shouting, screaming, beating and whipping.

I stood up to him and accepted my share of suffering. I was only twelve years old then.

Because of that, I grew up having a rough, traumatic childhood. It forever changed my perspective on the meaning and interpretation of 'family'.

It doesn't matter whether we have done something to piss him off or not, he always finds a reason to hurt us.

I always wondered why my mom was too weak to run away from him all those years. Or tell someone and get his ass locked in jail.

She was always scared into submission and I secretly hated her for it.

She is an amazing caring mother. The best mom. But she was too weak to protect us both.

I was weak too, and I also hated myself for it. I couldn't save us from that monster of a man either. But it shouldn't fall on me. I wasn't the adult here, she was.

In her defense, she had no where to go. My grandparents died right after mom got married; and it wasn't like they were going to save us from him anyway since they allowed her marriage to him in the first place. Her only family remaining now is her sister; aunt Jenna, who was lucky and brave enough to escape her parent's house; at the age of 18, and start a life for herself in Canada where no one can control her anymore.

I wished I had her bravery and courage. I wanted nothing more than to leave this hell hole. But I can't leave my mom with him. And I can't take her with me.

He would immediately hunt us down before we set foot out of town.

I always keep in touch with aunt Jenna. She knew we were being abused by him; but she wasn't aware of the extent to which we where being treated, my mom and I made it seem like a once in a month thing. We didn't want to burden her with the truth when there was nothing she could do from there.

I take a deep calming breath as I run the comb through my bed tangled red copper hair.

I have thick, shoulder length, straight hair with soft natural waves.

My rare hair color was inherited from my mother.

My green eyes unfortunately were inherited from my father. I hate those eyes. Because when I look myself in the mirror, I see him staring back at me.

While his are dull and cold, mine are fiery supported by my blazing hair color.

It made me seem defiant, fearless, and brave.

Yeah right, it was a fucking illusion. I was anything but that.

The only act of defiance I could muster all these years was standing up to him and provoking him enough so he could direct his anger on me instead of my mom.

My skin is pale all the time. I blame that on my medical condition.

I have been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes since I was 15 years old, after I passed out from my father's physical abuse on me during one unfortunate night.

He got lucky because his abuse left no seen marks on my body when I was taken to the hospital that night, or the whole town would have known what an asshole of a man he really was.

Not that the town people were saints compared to him.

I have it on good faith that most of the men treat their women the same way. Most of them prevent us from ever leaving this town and living our lives the way we wanted to. The men were free to do whatever the hell they wanted on the other hand.

It has been like this ever since the town was established.

Outsiders were not welcome into the town either because of its illegal activities. Trust is essential in this line of business.

No outsider can be trusted enough to be allowed to live here.

And why would they want to live here in the first place? Lucky them.

My unconsciousness that night was due to severe hyperglycemia; high blood sugar, in my blood stream.

Ever since that diagnosis, my whole life; which wasn't all rainbows and unicorns to begin with, was turned upside down.

It was a lifelong, incurable, draining, chronic condition to control.

I struggled so hard with it at the beginning, both to accept it and learn to manage it.

Jenny's POV

If you Google type 1 diabetes you get this definition:

A chronic condition in which the pancreas produces little or no insulin. Insulin is a hormone needed to allow sugar (glucose) to enter cells to produce energy.

The exact cause of type 1 diabetes is unknown. Usually, the body's own immune system; which normally fights harmful bacteria and viruses, mistakenly destroys the insulin-producing cells in the pancreas. Other possible causes include genetics or exposure to viruses and other environmental factors.

I, personally, blame it on those other environmental factors, namely living in this depressing town with a sick twisted father.

Treatment focuses on managing blood sugar levels with insulin, diet and lifestyle to prevent complications.

After that life altering discovery, my once empty night stand, became filled with different insulin pens, pen needles, alcohol wipes, a glucometer, and snacks.

I became fully dependent on using insulin four times a day; sometimes more or less doses were required, as my body refused to produce any.

I had to keep track of my blood sugar continuously through out each day to keep it from getting too low or too high.

I had to monitor my diet and exercise to keep the condition from further ruining my already mostly ruined life.

It had already affected my eye sight during those three years.

I started wearing glasses at 16, and just changed them recently; after turning 18 a few months ago, because my eye sight deteriorated despite wearing the glasses all the time and monitoring my blood sugar levels obsessively. But when you have a life like mine, stress plays a major role in fluctuating those levels despite taking all the possible precautions.

Other than eye damage, diabetes puts me at risk for heart and blood vessel disease, nerve damage and kidney damage.

Yeah, my life span was not looking so bright.

One upside from getting diabetes, I discovered my passion for fitness and exercise.

It was such a high and release at the same time.

Since the town didn't have an actual gym; and the underequipped school gym doesn't really count, I had to rely a lot on YouTube at first. But gradually, I started combining my own workouts. From HIIT, aerobics, running, to Pilates.

Zumba also works for me whenever I am not in the mood for something heavy.

I blast the music I like to listen to through my headphones and get lost in my own world for a while.

During that time, I don't live in a depressing excuse of a town, I don't have any illness, I don't have a father I always wish he would drop dead at any second, and I have an actual happy long future away from here.

But all these are just daydreams, I will stay here until the day I die. Just like everyone did in this place. I was forever stuck here. Unable to go anywhere else.

I graduated high school a few weeks ago. I have nothing to do with my life now. College was out of the question. My father would never let me leave the town on my own to pursue my dreams of studying exercise science. I was stuck here with him until I get married.

Only then will I leave this house.

I'd rather leave it a dead body, period.

Marriage, falling in love... in this town?

No fucking way.

Not after what I have seen my mom go through every day with him.

He ruined all men for me.

There wasn't even a single guy worth falling in love with at my high school. None of them attracted my attention even remotely.

Because whenever I look at any of them, I see only one person, my father.

I get out of the bathroom and sit on my bed as I check my blood sugar on my smart watch.

It was a special 24/7 blood sugar monitoring watch.

It saved me from a lot of poking daily to check my levels with the traditional glucometer.

I thank whoever invented it a year ago.

It also served as a reminder to take my insulin shots on time, a calorie intake recorder, a fitness and exercise recorder, and most importantly, it triggers alarms for when my levels get too high or too low in order to intervene on time.

There is a condition for diabetics called hypoglycemia unawareness, where the blood sugar levels drop too low without causing the usual symptoms; which include sweating, dizziness, feeling hungry, tingling lips, trembling, increasing heartbeat, blurry vision, and anxiousness. My body sometimes doesn't give me any of those warnings until it's too late and I pass out from low blood sugar I wasn't even aware of.

If that happens when I am alone, it could be fatal. Because I would need to be given an injection of glucagon immediately to raise my levels.

I always keep an extra shot in my purse at all times just in case.

That's where the watch comes in handy.

As soon as I suspect hypoglycemia, I take a snack containing fast acting carbohydrates; sugary foods without protein or fat that could be easily converted into sugar in the body, like a soft non-diet drink, honey, or candy like jellybeans.

And as soon as I suspect hyperglycemia (high blood sugar), I inject myself with a fast acting insulin.

I also keep an insulin pen in my purse for emergencies.

Diabetes is a complicated disease that always keeps me on my toes.

My watch states that my levels are currently 130 mg/dl. Which is at the highest normal range. It is always like this in the morning due to sleeping and not taking insulin for a long period. But it was considered okay.

I rip open a new pen needle, insert the short needle into my insulin pen, remove the cap, set the dosage at 2 units as I prime the pen to get any air bubbles out through the needle by pushing the knob all the way, and then turn the knob again to the required insulin dosage.

Insulin can be generally given in four areas. The abdomen, front and side of the thighs, upper and outer arms, and buttocks.

I also need to rotate, or switch, my injection sites. If I use the same injection site over and over again, I may develop hardened areas under my skin that keep the insulin from working properly.

I lift my shirt up, insert the needle all the way with a quick motion into the skin of my abdomen at a 90 degree angle, and slowly push the knob of the pen all the way in to deliver my full dose. I hold the pen for ten seconds, and then pull the needle out.

I discard the needle and put the pen cap back in its place.

I heard the front door open and close with a loud noise, indicating my father's departure.

And that's my cue to get out of the room.

I try to avoid him at all costs these days because of his increased aggressiveness.

I walk into the kitchen where I hear mom cleaning the mess he made earlier.

"What was all that about this time?" I ask her with curiosity.

I don't even bother to say good morning to her, there was nothing good about it anyway.

Her gaze falls to the table in an answer to my question.

That's when I notice a wedding invitation almost ripped in half.

I take it and get a closer look at it.

It was an invitation to Alex Snow's wedding, Isaac Snow's oldest son.

Isaac Snow, the leader of the Snow clan, has four children. Three sons and one daughter. The oldest one was Alex, followed by Jacob, Lucas, and April.

I have never met any of them before. I've only seen glimpses of the daughter April at my high school. She was seventeen years old, a year younger than me. The boys were all older, that's why I never ran into them despite living in a small town where everyone knows each other.

I look up at her in confusion and ask "So he got mad over a wedding invitation? I don't get it"

She sighs and says "The wedding is today, I took out the invitation to double check the time of the ceremony so we could get ready beforehand. When he came into the kitchen and saw me reading it, he just flipped out on me. Said we were not allowed to attend this wedding. I tried to ask him why and he started shouting at me in rage and smashed the plate on the floor" she said sadly.

I raised my eyebrows "Well, apparently the arguments they've been having are bigger than we thought"

I sat down on the chair and started eating breakfast silently as I kept staring at the invitation, while mom was cleaning the dishes at the sink.

Alex Snow was marrying an outsider. The town was buzzing with this news for the past month, ever since they sent out those invitations.

It was unheard of, because they never allowed outsiders in. Well, seeing as it is Alex Snow; the next in line to take the leadership after his father, he apparently got to do whatever the hell he wanted.

I pitied that woman he was marrying from the bottom of my heart; whose name on the invitation said to be Melanie Sullivan. Why would someone willingly want to get stuck here with them, especially them?

They were a bunch of criminals walking around with guns holstered on their waists all the time. They were a danger magnet. They had a lot of enemies, police aside, that were gunning to take them down and take over their smuggling business for themselves.

My family wasn't any better than them when it comes to carrying guns and attracting danger, but at least they weren't the main target all the time.

I knew all this from eavesdropping on my father, uncle, and cousin. They sometimes meet here in his office.

If my father had a son of his own, he would be joining them too.

I thank god everyday that he didn't have one. My life was already hell with him breathing down my neck all the time. I can't imagine what a mini version of him would do to me. I think a part of his hatred towards me and my mother was that we were a disappointment to him. My mom for not being able to have another baby boy, and me for not being the son he always wanted by his side.

The last time I eavesdropped on their meeting, they were discussing their problem with convincing Isaac Snow to let drugs in before someone else wipes them all out and takes over.

There was a powerful new player trying to enter the business. A drug lord I assume. He managed to convince my father and uncle to allow him a passage through the town to smuggle his drugs into the US.

But the final say was to Isaac. And he refused his offer despite the huge amount of money that drug lord was offering to them.

My father said it was only a matter of time before that drug lord handled Isaac, because the word 'no' was not in his vocabulary.

That last sentence sent shivers down my spine when I heard it, I didn't know why.

But what I did know was that the Snows were currently staring down the barrel of a gun.

And that poor girl who was about marry Alex Snow, will regret ever laying eyes on him, I was certain.

She either had no clue that she was killing herself by marrying into his family, or too stupid to realize it now.

But she will definitely figure it out someday, and it will be too damn late for her.