Odde To Michael

The street lights lining the narrow dirt road where they stood flickered, casting shadows of different shapes on the ground. The chilly wind of February blew their hair in a mess. Vehicles honked, as their headlights illuminated the two fourteen year old couple amidst the mountains of gravel which lined the sides of the street that is under construction.

Michael stood in front of her, he ran a finger over her shoulder length hair and whispered, "I'm sorry"

She gazed back at him and smiled. He ended everything. The boy who is the the pillar of her strength amidst the chaos which reigned inside her household. The boy whom she had loved since the second grade-no longer belongs to her.

"I understand," she answered, doing her best to keep her voice and stance steady.

A flash of light illuminated her face as another vehicle went past them. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She can feel her heart breaking. The torturous dance of her emotions nearly robbed her of consciousness.

"We can still be friends," he whispered softly-and all she could do was bob her head.

He smiled at her agreement, then leaned over to give her their first kiss. Yes, Michael and her went out for nine months, and this, will be their first kiss.

The first kiss was supposed to feel euphoric, but not for her. Because her first kiss, was a bitter goodbye.

They stood in front of each other a few minutes more, before he turned to walk away. She wanted to run after him and say that it wasn't alright. She wanted to beg him to reconsider-but she is a coward. So she remained standing in the side of the road, wishing, praying, and hoping.

As his visage dissappeared under the blanket of that cold February night, she turned and walked towards the other direction, thinking to herself. We are young, he will return, someday.

The courthouse echoed after the judge gave his verdict. The clapping of hands continued along with the cheer of congratulations given to Melissa Campbell.

Melissa is a thirty-five year old lawyer who is considered as the Queen of justice to the Huebert and Brother's firm. She had won case after case without a single defeat since the day she joined the said law firm.

"A fighter through and through huh?" Aldritch, her trainee whispered to her ear, as they both exited the courthouse. She glanced at him and smiled while saying " It will take an army to bring me down," or a certain man, Melissa mused as an afterthought.

The rest of the day was spent just as she always did, browsing through numerous cases and invitations from multiple gatherings, asking her to become their guest of honor or begging for her services to take on their case.

The silent click of her office door pried Melissa's eyes away from the paper she held, forcing a frown to appear on her forehead.

"This came for you," her secretary murmured while taking a step towards her desk.

"How many times do I have to remind you Carly, use the the intercom before you come in here!" Melissa yelled. She hates interruption, she finds it frustrating, specially when she's submerged into reading a case file.

"I-I'm sorry ma'am, but I was told to give this to you as soon as possible, and I have been buzzing you for the past hour." Her secretary reasoned.

Frustrated, Melissa stood from her chair and angrily took the envelope from her secretary's hand, then commanded her to leave the office.

Her eyes narrowed and her blood pressure rose upon reading the details of the letter inside the envelope.

If there is something that can rip her off of the pedestal she now proudly perch on, the words written on the invitation would be it. After a few minutes of self loathe and reflection, she stormed out of her office, leaving her secretary and the other lawyers baffled.

Three hours later, Melissa found herself inside a bar with her best friend Jasmine angrily asking her to stop drinking.

"I never want to see him again!" Melissa yelled as she downed another shot of Tequila.

"It has been two decades Mel, you've come so far and achieved so much. What the hell is wrong with you? Besides, you can either attend or not right?" Jasmine explained, wondering how a powerful woman such as Melissa could stupidly hold on to a teenage love that was doomed from the start.

Melissa brought the shot glass down-with so much force that it broke and injured her hand.

"Jesus Melissa!" Jasmine yelled as she pulled out her handkerchief-she wrapped it around her friend's injured hand and forcefully dragged her out the bar.

"Where the hell are you taking me?" Melissa asked, her words slurred and breath coming in gasps after getting shoved inside Jamine's car.

"I'm taking you to the hospital!" Jasmine yelled whilst bringing the car engine to life.

"I don't need a doctor." Melissa whispered.

Jasmine took her hand and brought it level to her face. "Does this wound look shallow to you, you stupid bitch?" Jasmine questioned, her eyes glazed with furry.

Melissa, knowing exactly that her defeat is enevitable slumped back on the car seat. She is aware of how deep her cut is, but-the hospital would be the last place she wants to be in. Her childhood lover-the man who remained inside her heart for almost two decades is also a doctor. Every white wall or even the slightest smell of disinfectant drives her crazy-reminding her of the boy who stood in front of her under that moonless February night.

She is so hung up on him, she never experienced a normal relationship after their break up.

"Alright, make sure not to get your hands wet for the next two days."

Melissa gazed at the doctor before her and wondered, is this how Michael speaks to his patients too? Does he always wear a white coat too?

She can hear her best friend answering in her place, taking notes of all the instructions the doctor is saying-but none of it are registering in her head. All that is clear, are the words written in the invitation. Mr. And Mrs Charlton invites you to join the up coming reunion for Saint Agustin's batch of 1999.

She would be lying to say that she doesn't want to see him. Oh she longs for it, dreams about it and everyday wishes that she sees him once again. She knows where he works at, but, her heart still remains that of the fourteen year old girl who viewed Michael as the light of her life, so she never dared to meet him. Not even for a casual meeting. She fears, the flame she kept alive, hidden in the depths of her heart will come ablaze under his presence. That is a recepie for disaster, because Michael is a married man.

"Mel, will you be okay alone?" her best friend asked.

Melissa smiled at her and stepped out of the vehicle. They are now parked in front of her condominium building. "I'll be fine Jas, all I need is a good night's rest." She answered, followed by a heavy sight.

Her best friend stared back at her and bobbed her head, smiled and gave her a kiss on the cheek before leaving.

Melissa gazed up at the night sky before walking up to her building. There maybe things she had achieved with flying colors, but love isn't one of them. Matter of fact, love is the one thing she knew she never did good with.

She had a bunch of relationships after him, but they were all a divertion. It became a trend to her which eventually turned into an illness. She uses the male specie, not for love-but to fill the longing she bore for the one she lost.

Stepping inside the Twelve storey building, Melissa wondered, will she ever have the courage to face Michael, without doing something stupid.

Severe headache, that's what greeted Melissa upon opening her eyes. She felt her stomach churn and immediately, she leaped out of her bed and into the bathroom. She heaved and spat out everything inside her stomach.

"I'm never going to touch a bottle of alcohol ever again," she thought to herself while pulling her slumped body off the sink.

She cursed at herself when an immeasurable pain shot through her head. "Yup, no more alcohol for me," she whispered.

Slowly, she made her way towards the couch on her living room. She glanced at her phone and the red light blinking told her she missed a few calls.

She shook her head, deciding she will skip work today and rest. She made her way to the kitchen and decided, coffee is the best cure for her at that moment.

What was I thinking, Melissa murmured as she placed a pot over the stove. She reacted like a teenage girl who just had her heart broken. Jasmine was right, it has been twenty years for God's sake. She avoided Michael since the day they broke up, even went as far as distancing herself from her friends. She and him were part of thesame crowd, but due to her broken heart, she left all her friends behind, along with Michael.

Maybe, if she had the courage to accept the break up and faced him throughout those years, she could have kept some of her childhood friends. But no, she had to be a coward.

But the world will never understand what Michael meant to her. Those years when she and him were dating was the happiest and also the darkest time of her life. If she did not have Michael back then, the darkness of her house and parent's constant bickering would have swallowed her whole. Maybe, she would've resorted to suicide in order to find peace.

He was her light, during those dark hours, and when they broke up, he remained to be a shining star-a blissful memory that made her smile through every trial that came her way.

She closed her eyes and without intent, their memory came flooding back.

(November 2002)

She and her best friend Jane just came out of the school gates. Mika, their other friend from grade school who chose to study at a different high school immediately greeted them.

"Melissa, guess who wants to take you out on a date?" She asked enthusiastically.

Melissa shook her head, she must get home before night falls, or else-her deranged father will have a fit and that anger will definitely be directed to her mother. Whatever mistake she and her siblings make, the punishment will be given to their mother.

"I don't care who it is Mika, I need to get home." Melissa answered.

Mika tugged at her arm and pulled her close, she leaned to her ear and whispered, "Michael wants to ask you out."

The name immediately sent Melissa's heart in a marathon of emotions. "Michael, the Michael?" She asked, eyes wide with disbelief.

"Yup, and he wants to ask you out tonight!" Mika exclaimed.

All of her friends from grade school knows about her feelings for Michael, some may argue that it was puppy love, but Melissa knows it is more than that. Despite the fear of her father's wrath, Melissa bobbed her head and asked," What time does he want to meet and where?"

Mika smiled and answered, around eight tonight, by the playground infront of the church."

Melissa smiled, it is a dream. It must be a dream.

The sudden whistle of her boiling pot took Melissa out of her musings, she closed her eyes and released a heavy sigh. Twenty years, but still-her memories of him are clear as daylight.

Her entire day was spent sleeping on her couch. She missed breakfast and lunch, by the time she awoke from her slumber, it was already dark. She slept for a whole nine hours.

She glanced at her phone again and decided to listen to her voice mail. Everything was about work, but there was one that knocked the air out of her chest.

The voice on the other line sou ds mature and raspy, but she recognised it. Her memory will never fail her. His voice that echoed in her head for twenty years was that of a teenage boy, but she can tell, if it matured-it will sound just like the man on her voice mail.

Unable to stop herself, she replayed the message, "Hey, I got your number from Patrick, I hope you don't mind. Did you get my invitation? It has been years, I hope you can attend this gathering, you've missed the previous one's. Anyway, i hope you can make it."

Melissa felt like the world is playing a cruel joke on her. The heavens know how much she wanted to have his attention again. Why did they allow such a thing to happen? He is her weakness. As she gazed at her phone. She deduced one thing. She will be attending that party.

The following day, Melissa and her secretary fixed all her appointments so it will not coincide with her future plans. Any pending case she had was was given to the other lawyers. The party will take ace in their hometown, a thirteen hour trip by car from where she currently live.

For the first time in god knows how long, Melissa booked an appointment to a salon, got a full body spa, bought new clothes and even had her nails painted-something that she rarely do.

Two days before the party, she met up with Jasmine. They have decided to drive by car to their hometown.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Jasmine asked. Melissa bobbed her head and gave her friend a wide smile.

Her friend eyed her with curiosity, but If Jasmine noticed any change in her, she didn't voice it out.

Driving for hours is tedious but Melissa couldn't care less. She wants to see the beautiful scenery around the mountains that will lead back to their hometown. Besides, she needs to stall, it has been years since she came home. Her town-her childhood home is a place that brought out the darkest side of her-because that is where she first had her heart broken, her dreams shattered and her will defeated.