Never let me go ever

Prologue

Prologue

Arjun Rathore:-

"I am sorry, Ishu. I can't announce our marriage to the world. As you already know how much I have struggled to reach this position. Please ishu, it's just a matter of time." I spoke gulping down my fear of losing her. As far as I know about her, can she bear anything but this? She looked up to me with a warm smile that unpleasantly twisted my heart. Whenever she smiles like this, I know what is coming my way. I wanted to convince her more before anything bad happens to us. But it's damaged already when I opened up about my decision to hide our relationship.

"I know, Arjun. You deserve this position. You can't sacrifice this dream of yours for anything. I won't like it even if it's for me." She spoke again, smiling that way. I looked away from her face, not able to guess anything that's cooking there in her head.

"Just for the release of my first film. Maybe after that, we shall grandly announce our marriage" I know my words didn't give any hope to her. My hard work of 10 years, at last, paid off when I got my first film offer. But the director demanded only one thing and that's I should be single. He is the first person to believe in me to give me this opportunity even though I have no experience or any special background.

"If you are confident in your career, I wish you to succeed more in this path. I won't be a hurdle in your way. I wish to die than to put a brake on your dreams" her words stirred something in my heart and I knew that she has something big in her head and it will ruin everything in our life.

"Let's just part our ways. Trust me I am not angry with you and I want you to succeed more" that's it, my eyes popped out and tears started flowing in my eyes. I can't let her go away from my life like this. But can I sacrifice my first opportunity? He'll no, I have struggled hard and there is no word to explain about my hard life till now.

"That's not the decision we make in this tough life!" I tried to put some brains into her but failed miserably when she smiled like that. She is just the hardest woman I have ever met in my life. She will never change her decision if she made it with that attitude.

"Please, don't leave me" I begged before her but she took her baggage and looked at me with no regret in her decision. Her Mehandi looked divine even in this night light. After all, it's just two months since we married. But is that all about our relationship? He'll no, it's a long 7 years love.

"We can work this out together" I begged her again not wanting to let her go at any point.

"No Arjun. I can't become any reason for interrupting your success. What if anyone spots you with me? It will become the end of your dreams. And don't feel guilty. I will always be there for you" she said cupping my cheeks. She is damn right about everything. If I become popular, I can never hide my personal life. But that can't justify the decision she made.

She turned and climbed up the train without looking at me. I was crushed there on the floor hiding my face in my palm. Sacrificing her means, sacrificing my happiness. But sacrificing my career means dying right there. The pain in my heart doubled when the train left the place. A loud sob escaped my lips realising the life ahead without my Ishu with me.

**Ishitta**

I know I have been selfish here. I can't just stay by his side to see him getting away inch by inch. It's good for us both that we part our ways rather than kill our love daily. When he decided to hide me from society, I just couldn't breathe. But I don't want to be his weakness. I have always stayed by his side as a strength. I wish to be the one till the end.

He will never let me go if given a chance. But I can sense our love to get stained the moment he tries to hide it. For me, it's more important than anything in my life.

Anyone who would be listening to our story would call us a mad person. They can never understand what his dream means to him nor what love means to me. Both can exist separately but not together.

I don't know where I am going. But the little happiness I am carrying with me is growing inside me. I badly wanted to shout to Arjun that he was going to become a father. But the moment he hears it would be the end of his dreams. He would never let me go from his life. But I should leave his life for his good. I will surely bring up my child as the best person in this world.

Chapter 1. Single mom

"How dare you" a girl slapped the guy who was standing just behind her with the most innocent look ever. He clenched his eyes in reflex and held his cheeks from burning.

He looked up to her and the anger building up inside vanished in thin air. Her blue eyes which were staring at him like a volcano looked so warm. Her cute lips released many bashing words for no one in particular but him. In short, she looked at him in disgust while he was just mesmerised by her beauty. Did he see any girl like her before? Maybe yes. But the vibe he gets from her is different.

"Are you guys coming by bus for these cheap things?" She added as he was brought back to reality. He widened his eyes when he realised that the girl misunderstood him to be a cheapskate.

"Ishu, it was this guy." Her friend pointed out the guy who had a smug look on his face.

"And this is our senior, Arjun Rathore" the girl introduced Arjun to Ishu. Ishiita blinked twice and looked at the guy who had touched her inappropriately and looked back at Arjun who she has slapped now.

"Trust me, your slap was hot as you" Arjun whispered near her ear and turned to the guy and slapped him hard on his cheeks without taking his eyes from Ishu who is also staring at him without blinking. The guy was thrown outside while Ishu looked away not even apologising for her actions.

"Ishiita Kapoor. Nice name." Arjun spoke, grabbing her id card, making her flinch.

"Why don't you get it from me once you get inside the campus?" Arjun asked, caressing his cheeks as if he was ready to play with the new target. It will be fun to play with her. She is fierce as fire.

Arjun climbed down the bus with a smirk while Ishu's friends got terrified as she got tangled with Arjun Rathore.

2021:

It's been ten long years since Ishu started living alone. She sighed recalling her first meeting with Arjun. It's indeed a dramatic and thrilling meeting. Her lips curved up with a smile recalling how she slapped him even before looking at his face. Maybe that's the good thing that happened to them to get to know each other.

"Then? What happened to you and Arjun?" Neha asked who is the best friend of Ishu. She is the one who gave support to her when Ishu came to the town all new. Everything was new to her. Still, she can build a new life and thanks Neha for that. She has been with her in her tough times.

"Why don't we get ready first?" Ishu asked closing her diary making Neha pout. Ishu has never told anything about Arjun in these ten years but when she got hold of her diary, Neha read the first few pages and Ishu was compelled to tell the story.

"You will again cheat me and will never tell anything about you" Neha added and left the room making Ishu Singh. She made up her mind to tell Neha already. But will it open her wound? Will she be able to live those moments again and come back to reality? Ishu looked back to her diary and caressed it lovingly.

Her eyes fell on the page where she took pictures with her college friends. She did have many friends. But after leaving Arjun, she wanted to live aloof. So she never contacted anyone who could make Arjun aware of her presence. She made a good hideout.

Her parents smiled at her in the photo frame when she lit up the lamp in front of them. Her lips curved upwards to a smile and her eyes were full of gratitude. She is thanking them every day for educating her which is helping her today to run her life. If she was not a brave girl, she would have ended her life far before.

"His naughtiness has reached its limit. Ma's, you have to take strict action today" Leena teacher's voice echoed in her cabin as she shifted her eyes from the photo frame to the teacher. She sighed internally as she hates wherever any teacher complains against a kid. But as the headmaster of the school, she has to punish those kids for their mistakes. But she has no heart to even yell at those pure buds.

"Bring the child to my room," Ishu said sitting over her chain hiding her soft disappointed face to look a little rude so that these kids at least get scared of her.

Leena entered the room with the screeching sound of the door. Ishu's eyes soon turned to wide sauces when she looked at the kid. Soon she hides her inner thoughts and looks back at Leena who is still staring at the kid with anger.

"Siddharth" Ishu called softly when the ten-year-old kid looked up to his mom who is now not his mom but the headmaster of this school. She didn't want other teachers to pamper her just because she is his mom. So no one knew that he was her son.

"Siddharth, look at me," Ishu spoke in an authoritative tone whereas he just drew patterns on the floor. He slowly looked up and soon his eyes fell over the floor. He hates to embarrass his mom but damn his naughtiness.

"He tore all pages of his classmate, Neha's notebook" Leena complained in a dejected tone. Siddharth is known for his new antics to trouble the kids and teachers. Ishu stuffed her smile under her facade.

"Ask him to stand outside of the classroom for a full day" Ishu prayed hard that Leena might ask her to change the punishment. Maybe a full day is too much. But Leena smiled in satisfaction. All teachers just hate Sid for his naughtiness. Ishu just can't understand what's wrong if the kids are a little naughty? Leena got him out while Sid hung up his head low sighing tiredly.

He is just like his dad in terms of naughtiness. Ishu blushed at the thought of Arjun. She shrugged it off immediately but she can never stop thinking about him.

She stopped smiling like an idiot when her thoughts got stuck in between. Her eyes welled up when she slid up the news column in her phone. Arjun pictures with his family. A hot topic for seven years.

"You did move on easily" Ishu mumbled as she caressed his picture where he is posing with his wife and a small kid. She just couldn't accept the fact that Arjun can ever give her place to someone else. But he did. She switched off the mobile phone and turned away from all thoughts of Arjun.

*****

Mumbai is infectious. Once you start living, you can never adjust anywhere in this world. Arjun opened his eyes and looked around his room which is designed in white curtains with maroon furniture. It's her favourite colour. His lips curved up remembering HER. He switched on the music player and the old Hindi songs filled the room. He closed his eyes and was diving inside the music of heaven.

"Sir, coffee" one of the servants came inside his room with a black cup which had red roses on its handle. He took the coffee and smiled at the servant. His life is perfectly complete with the lavish standard of everything. But is he happy? His eyes lacked that warmth that was once his strength. His heart is empty where he used to have a party every day.

"Ishu" he mumbled to give a long breath. Maybe this name only gives him some peace.

"Where are you?" He added as he looked at the sky as if trying to see her in those clouds. He sighed tiredly, not able to bear the weight in his chest.

"Ajju" a voice echoed in the room and he turned to give his evergreen smile. He looked dashing even in this cotton nightdress.

"Aren't you ready? We are getting late." She voiced out and kept the royal blue coat suit over his bed with a frown expression.

"I will be getting ready in just five minutes." He replied and took the dress.

"Won't you at least look at me?" Vidya frowned. She is annoyed with the fact that he doesn't even recognise her presence. But she is not the kind of girl to seek his attention every time. She will just snatch it if she needs it.

"Red suits you best" he smiled again at her and entered his bathroom. Vidya smiled back. His compliment even though it's one word, it's always special for her. The best part of their story is Vidya knew about Ishu and Arjun. She married him, accepting everything.

"Mom, Dad, I am ready" seven years old Pihu jumped in excitement when Arjun picked her up in his arms. His smile reached its eyes and the reason for us was his daughter. A beautiful barbie to fill his life with rainbow colours.

2005

"Seven ice creams" Arjun Rathore, the king of college announced his demand while Ishu just lowered her eyes accepting his ragging and everything. She just wants to finish her studies in silence. Otherwise, he would get a fierce reply.

She kept those ice creams over the table with a thud with a warning that he can't play with her as he wishes.

"I'd card?" She asked in a little raised voice. Arjun just smirked at her and took ice cream.

"We are only six. And this is for you" he gave her a strawberry flavoured cornetto.

"I don't get anything free from strangers like someone" she directly taunted him and all his friends gasped at the audacity of Ishu but Arjun just smiled at her.

"I thought I will just leave you after today's session. It seems that you like to mingle with me." Arjun spoke keeping her id inside his pocket and walked like a king. Ishu stood on shocked. She didn't expect this for sure. Damn her mouth and anger.

*****

"Mam it's with him" Ishu didn't regret her words when the H.O.D of her department stood there with a dominating stare. Arjun entered the room with the most innocent look ever.

"What I am hearing?" The H.O.D asked while Arjun stood on confused.

"Mam, what happened? Does she need my help in any assignments?" Arjun asked with a genuine voice and Ishu widened her eyes with his acting.

"She is telling that you have her id card" The mam spoke glaring at Ishu. The way she stared at her, shows that she doesn't believe her and she knew about Arjun.

"What's your name, sister?" Arjun asked looking at Ishu making her more annoyed with his goody boy facade.

"Ishiita Kapoor. If you don't want to give your exam, you can always say that. But blaming someone who has a good reputation in this college is not acceptable to act" the teacher warned Ishu while she lowered her head in dismay. As far as she knew, Arjun is the son of the main trustee of this college. So it's bound to happen. But what will she do now?

"Are you a schoolgirl? To complain like this?" Arjun asked walking beside her while she paid no attention to him.

"Okay relax. Just apologise and take back your id card" Arjun is shocked as he said those. It's fact that he is attracted to her. But he never lets go of anyone easily whoever insults him like this.

"Keep it with yourself. I can anyways apply for a new one" Ishu replied in a calm tone. She just doesn't like when someone tries to bend her. But she doesn't want to mess with anyone. She just wanted to complete her studies without any more disturbance. She has gone through hell already in her earlier college because of her this attitude. Now, she wants to lay low so that no one notices her.

Arjun just stood there looking at her shadow. She is not those types of girls he has come across. She is different and that's what made him go behind her again and again. But in this process, he doesn't want to end up regretting his decision.

****

Neha was listening to it as if it was any movie. Ishu blushed many times whenever she was talking about Arjun. Neha notices that and she regrets even ask about their story. Is it a correct decision? Ishu still loves him like a mad girl.

"He left you for god's sake. Why are you smiling like this?" Neha asked in a little raised voice?

"It's our decision. He didn't leave me. I left him for his good" Ishu replied with a frown. She never gives anyone the right to judge Arjun in their relationship. Neha didn't know what has happened. But she feels sad whenever she sees her friend living a miserable life.

"Okay fine. I am not criticizing anything. But you are still young and my God you are too beautiful to waste such beauty alone!" Neha spoke dramatically as Ishu stood up, keeping her diary aside as if she was done with that day's story.

"I have a friend. His name is Akash. He saw you yesterday with me. He wants to talk to you. Why don't you just meet up with him?" Neha asked wanting badly that Ishu might move on with anyone she deserves.

"I have an important class. Will you go to your office?" Ishu took her necessary books literally avoiding Neha's topic making her sigh.

****

Mumbai

The long event went on and on and Arjun found it exciting when the award host announced his award. It's been many years he is getting awards for his performance still feels as if it's his first award. He slowly walked towards the stage after kissing his daughter. The audience went crazy to have a look at him. He slowly waved his hands towards them and gave a flying kiss.

He received the award and posed like a king of this world. He knew how to capture the young girl's heart with his one smile. He thanked everyone especially his wife who was very happy to hear her name from his mouth.

"Vidya, thanks for being there" he mouth it genuinely and felt sad. He knew that his Ishu would be watching this from anywhere. Will she be broken? She never shows her broken side to anyone. His corner eyes released some tears when he recalled his Ishu. He wanted to search for her but she made a nice hideout and he couldn't catch her anywhere.

Vidya joined the stage and he posed along with his wife and daughter. He looked at her. She is a pure soul who loves him like anything. But in turn, she demands a little love from his side. Which he never be able to give her. He even forgot to love after Ishu.

After answering the questions of the media people, Arjun stylishly rubbed his nose and gave a flying kiss to the camera and smiled along with it. He is sure that behind the camera is his Ishu. He wanted to show her that she is still in his heart. And he can never give her place to anyone.

But deep inside he doesn't want to meet Ishu. That too after his marriage. He has no courage to see her broken face.

Ishu widened her eyes when she saw the press meet on the television.

"Mam, coffee" the canteen boy offered her the coffee. She took it and lowered her eyes not able to see anyone. She knew that that kiss was for her. Why he is doing that in every award function? But it still affects her like hell. Her cheeks must be red visible to everyone around her.

She hurriedly drank her coffee and left the campus as if running away from his voice from the television. The look on his face when he side hugged his wife, was tearing her apart. Moreover, he was lifting his daughter. A small sob released her mouth when she entered her home. He did move on easily. How can he give that special place which belongs to her to anyone? She hates the fact that she can't even hate him.

"Mom I am sorry" Siddharth's voice made her turn to the entrance and her sulking face changed instantly and broke into a broad smile.

"I didn't mean to tear the book" he mumbled apologetically. Tearing our friend's book is something overboard and he doesn't want his mom to be upset at him even for a second.

Ishu came running to his side and grabbed him for a hug. She can never get angry with her son ever. She cupped his cheeks and kissed his forehead emotionally. How can anyone be angry with this pure soul?

Sid gets happy to see that his mom is not angry with him as usual. He never takes it for granted but knew the boundaries for him. His track gets stopped at the table where he noticed sleeping pills. His eyes watered automatically recalling his mom's troublesome nights. She always tries to. sleep without these pills but ends up having one.

"I hate you. I hate you for leaving us. I hate for making my mom cry. I hate you because we need you" Sid mumbled as tears rolled down his cheeks. He wanted to tell those directly to his father but never get that chance. He doesn't even know his name. The most annoying thing is his mom never complains about his dad to him. Instead, she always praised him.

"I wish I meet you in person to show you that I am not like you." He mumbled again as if he is talking with his dad.

He silently switched on the television and his lips curved up when his favourite movie gets telecasted. Arjun Rathore started dancing for the song when Sid couldn't stop himself but to join him in his home. Ishu entered the room and instantly, Sid switched off the channel not wanting to upset his mom. Ishu never stops Sid for anything but she doesn't like when Sid watches too many films and focus only on Arjun Rathore. But seeing him switching it off only for her, she felt sad.

She switched on the television and higher the volume of the song. She sat beside Sid whose eyes sparkled with her gesture.

"I won't force my decision on you ever. You will do whatever you feel is right. But yeah, mumma will be sad if you hide and do these things" she gently advised her son while he hugged her tightly.

"Champ, I got you new DVDs of Arjun Rathore's films" the male voice echoed all around and Ishu stood there rolling her eyes and looked at the person with anger.

DVDs for Sid is not wrong. But the man is spoiling her kid like hell. Ishu stood up with crossing her hands in a dominating way. Sid signalled the person not to shout but it's of no use as they both come face to face at last.

"So it's you who is spoiling my kid behind my back?" Ishu asked as the person stood there with a shock on his face. He didn't expect Ishu to catch him like this. He slowly kept the new film DVD over the table and smiled sheepishly at Ishu.

"He asked me like an innocent kid. How can you expect me to turn my back to him? He is a small kid." Suraj, Neha's brother exclaimed and pouted like a kid. Suraj is the first person to believe in Ishu when she comes to Delhi. In fact, she is working as a headmaster in Suraj's school only. Neha and Suraj had been the backbone to her and she is always grateful for their help. If it's not for them, she would have suffered more in this city.

"I have never asked you for DVDs. It was you who asked me if I can have them." Sid screamed and came behind his mom and glared at Suraj. Ishu rolled her eyes at both of them. Whatever may be, she knew that Sid would never lie to her and Suraj would be the one to spoil him.

"Okay, sorry. It's my fault" Suraj started pleading before Ishu but she pushed him outside and slammed the door behind. She just can't accept if anyone tries to spoil her kid. But Suraj is just doing it for fun. Ishu wanted to warn him so that he doesn't mess up around again like this.

"Sorry Ishu" he knocked on the door and she opened it after some time.

"Why are you always coming here?" Ishu asked giving him a cup of coffee.

"You are helping me too much and I don't know in what way I can repay you?" Ishu mumbled sitting beside him. She feels guilty to have his help for almost everything and she could do nothing but be dependant on him more.

"Did I ask you to repay me?" Suraj asked little offended with the way she spoke. He has a special place for Ishu in his heart and she too is aware of that feeling. It is not just a friendship but more than that.

"I just want to be your side forever. There is nothing more I need from you" he lied for sure. Both knew why he is her side. He always adored her and admired her. He had never dared to express his love to her as he knew very well that Ishu won't think twice to reject it. Even now, her heart soul and everything belongs to Arjun. Sometimes, Suraj feels jealous of Arjun. How can someone leave someone like her?

Ishu sighed tiredly. She is hell annoyed now trying hard to make him move on from her. But he is so adamant that he didn't even try to marry any other girl. He already reached his mid-thirties and he needs no support for him now.

Neha entered the home with the account details of the school in her hand. It was just an excuse. She wanted to hear the remaining story from her diary. Ishu rolled her eyes and turned away not wanting to tell that day.

"Sid is here and I don't want him to overhear anything that relates to me and Arjun." Ishu reasoned and Neha pouted.

"But how can I sleep?" Neha asked gasping loudly.

"Don't be dramatic and get back to your home. And don't forget to drag your brother out from here" Ishu snapped as Neha saw Suraj sleeping over the couch. She sighed tiredly. This guy would make her tired all day.

"Why the hell did you open door to him?" Neha asked all annoyed as she dragged him outside and started her car.

****

New day new hope, Ishu got ready for school in an amazingly happy mood. She felt fresh and happy for some unknown reasons. She entered her cabin and her face fell instantly with the scene unfolding in front of her. Ishu took a deep breath and entered her cabin and her eyes widened in shock when she saw her Sid crying. He never cries for anything. The next thing that happened shocked her the most. Sid yelled at everyone with tears filled eyes. Siddharth can be naughty, mischief but he had never crossed his limits in anything.

"I am not wrong. If he didn't bash at me using that cheap word, I would have never pushed him" Sid yelled at his classmate and wiped down his tears. Ishu stood there analysing the situation and her heart ached when she saw the vulnerable state of Sid. What would have probably triggered him?

"He is lying. I didn't throw any cheap words. I just asked him about his father. He said he has no one. The I " Mani, a classmate of Sid stuttered and looked around for help.

"And he called me as an illegal kid" Sid yelled again and Ishu closed her eyes as tears rolled down her cheeks instantly. Her legs failed to move further as the people in the cabin started shouting and created a ruckus.

"Whatever. But you shouldn't have pushed him. What if he has gotten hurt?" Leena yelled at Sid as Siddharth was still staring at Mani.

"Shut up everyone" Ishu yelled at everyone and walk fast towards her chair. She threw her badly over the couch and turned to them having crossed arms.

"Siddharth, apologise to Mani" Ishu spoke calmly as Sid looked up to his mom with wide eyes. He didn't expect this from her least. Tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Right now" Ishu now stared at Sid as he slowly opened his mouth to apologise to Mani.

"S.o.rr.y" Sid stuttered and lowered his lids not able to bear the pain in his chest.

"If he doesn't have a father, it's not the right thing to call him that!" Ishu spoke glaring at Leena as if she would eat her alive today. Leena could feel some hot radiant from Ishu's side but still, she tries to speak up.

"Tomorrow ask your parents to come and meet me" Ishu announced to Mani who became hell scared to get this punishment. He didn't expect this.

"We should ask Siddharth's mother also to come. In the form too, there is no detailed explanation of his father or his mother" Leena showed the form as Ishu closed her eyes calmly and looked back at her.

"He is the son of Ishiita Kapoor. And that's what matters. He doesn't need any father." Ishu gritted her teeth as Leena gasped loudly and looked back at the form to find that his mom is none other than Ishu.

"Mam" Leena gasped in a low voice as Ishu took her books to start her work.

"Can you send Sid to my room once you leave from here?" Ishu calmly asked as Leena ran away from there to call for Sid.

Siddharth entered the room and sat across her with a sulking face.

"I am sorry. Mumma is sorry" Ishu spoke cutely twisting her ears. But Sid didn't even look at her side as he was busy admiring the floor with a frown.

"You shouldn't have pushed him whatever the reason maybe." Ishu calmly explained to her son but still, he didn't look.

Ishu sighed tiredly. She knew that he doesn't get angry often but whenever he gets it would make her go crazy to convince him.

"Go and attend your class" Ishu replied and took her attendance sheet to fill in the details. Siddharth left the cabin.

Ishi waited for Sid in her scooty as the evening bell rang. Now she is not supposed to hide from everyone as all knew that Sid is her son. Siddharth came and climbed up the scooty. She stopped the vehicle near an ice cream parlour.

"I don't want any ice creams" Sid spoke and turned his face to his left side.

"Did I tell you that I am buying it for you?" Ishu asked as Sid gasped loudly.

"Brother, pack strawberry flavour cornetto for me" she ordered her favourite flavour as his face fell. He wanted to order vanilla flavour too but his ego is not letting him tell anything. Ishu stuffed his smile looking at the stubbornness of her kid.