NOT A SAINT

Celestine's Point of View

THIS IS the first time that I've had been late to the venue of the photoshoot. I am a top model and my manager calls me for the last photoshoot of February.

I saw Roalyn Manduque, my manager, walking back and forth as I arrived at the location of the photoshoot for the EL Magazine. "I thought you'll not come today? Why all of a sudden you're late?"

Even if Roalyn is not talking or mentioning that she's mad at me. I knew it by the tone of her voice -annoyed and disgusted. Roalyn doesn't want people who are lazy and always having (as issues) whether professionals/top or a rookie/amateur model including me. Time is always precious for Roa.

It is my stepfather's fault, for Pete's sake! Every time I'd been thinking about it all I can do is to make a sigh. I wanted to forget but those memories kept bargaining on the precious memories I'd been scared of.

All I had to do is almost make the car flew, from Ayala until Quezon City. That's why I am late now plus the fact that I woke up late is another reason out of hell. I didn't know the alarm already passed by my alarm clock. Yes, I'm still using the old times. Alarm clock rather than my phone.

"Sorry, Roa, for my tardiness today. It will not happen again," I said in embarrassment while keeping my head down. Roa is ahead of ten years to me, as she aged thirty-four, her face almost looks like being double old as her natural age.

I started my career with Roa when I am eighteen and it became my manager.

She presses her temple as she turns her gaze at me. "It's alright. Get dressed and can you please make it fast so we can start today," strictly uttering it to command me.

She's a rigorous one especially when it comes to her handles like me. Even she's drastic sometimes, she's kind, helpful, and generous to people who need her help when it comes to money.

When there is no one I could reach ask for money Roa is there to save my a*s. Even the most intrigue or gossip scandals that can ruin my dignity, Roa is the person I could count on. She's my ideal and exact Knight and shining armor. Nevertheless, she never leaves me in any embarrassing moments.

I am Celestine Rain Marcelo Alcazar twenty-four-year-old woman. From age of eighteen, I came to be a magazine and commercial model. Now my manager starting to build my career. It's all of my billionaire father- stepfather, I mean. He'll never my biological father anyway. When I turned twenty-four that is the second day of February and today is almost the last day of the month. My Dad named Brent bought me a property to put up an agency as my first business to manage.

I couldn't do everything thanks to my manager. Roalyn will be the managing director while I'll be the CEO of the company when the construction is done. But in the meantime, it is still under construction.

"If the construction of that agency will be early done by this year, it would be easier for you to make the photo shooting." She's right. Because it was near to Ayala, the lot my stepdad gave me as a gift. Walking distance and he could guard me there twenty-four by seven.

I already brought the dress and went straight to the dressing room to change.

Maybe I need to talk to the engineer that handles the construction site so it can easily be done as my first to handle an agency.

I don't like to rush things, might the base will wreck when it's not sturdy and strong. And one thing, I'm getting older. I could have my own house and lot, a simple and small business to operate by now but not yet my priority. There is one thing I prioritize the most and all my savings went there.

Once my first plan is done, then I'll be thinking about what's next. This is how I am making plans for the future. Before making a second plan, I always had the assurance that the first plan is a victory.

I am a tourism graduate by the way and quite sometimes, boarded the airplane to practice my course. But I'm just regular in modeling specifically when the contract offer is higher. Fourteen years old when my mom, Lucia Marcelo Echavez changed my biological father and marry Brent Echavez. I even ask them that I will not take the surname Echavez because it came from my father who died when I was ten years old.

Mom told me that I got my father's perfect sculpted feature. From the almond deep shaded dark blue-green eyes that rupturing from green to blue, to my rosy white skin tone up to pointed Spanish nose, reddish seductive heart-shaped lips, and to the nice curve hourglass figure. With the height of five and eight inches, down to my slender long legs, I still maintain my Barbie doll figure for the commercial and modeling plus my near to pale white skin. I am taking care of everything as requested by my non-biological father.

I am quite as next to my father's features as others are saying. It was just a loss that my mom and my father's relatives were not on good terms. Maybe we are rich by now and I might grow on their side. But, what thing I could ask for? Nothing anymore, I have a luxurious life, thanks to Brent. Nothing to worry about tomorrow.

MY MOTHER is a singer in a club when he met my Spanish father. He then even lifted her from disgusting poverty, they got married and had an only girl child named Celestine and that is me. A name that came from my father, Celestino Valdez Alcazar. When I was a child, my father always telling me about my father's life. According to him, he just ran away from Spain because of his rigid parents until came here to the Philippines. Joined modeling, got the job and money then he met mom, they fell in love and build a family. But no way to a happy ending, because my father died early.

Just because of the financial reason that's why mom married again. If not for money, I will not let her. Even mom kept hiding it, I know in my vivid mind that there are several men she went to just because of money. This includes foreigners, political officials, and rich old men from the club where she works for the sake of my studies. Mom wanted a decent life for me, I know. But isn't it the right thing to share a body with anyone?

I even had the scholarship, but when it comes to miscellaneous, my boarding house, food, and everything when I live at Los Baños, Laguna where my school is located, isn't enough though. She can't even let me work part-time during my college days.

When my mom met my stepdad, she just found out that he is impotent, my mom had to accept everything and continue the marriage. And I am the only one who he can consider his daughter.

At first, he is the ideal guy I wanted to have. Luscious abs with the age of forty-five, while my mom is forty-one. He had a good Italian feature with a mix of Philippine blood and a well-built body. It just a waste that he didn't even have a child when his features are perfect for offspring. But it's not bad at all. Better to be. He's way taller than me of five inches difference but almost the same when I'm wearing stiletto.

When it comes to attitude, my stepdad never shouted at mom. I can't recognize if he hit my mom even just once. He's a perfect saint in any woman that could worship him. A perfect guy for every woman's dream. I even always had everything I demand. Close to becoming a spoiled daughter that's why we become close to each other, in some aspects. I even didn't protest when they are arguing for several counting of my hands. I even take my father's side and mom always kept losing from arguments.

But not until I finally reached eighteen. Puberty became fast as I grow and becoming a full-grown woman. They can't even think that I am twenty than my original age because of having a good body. Started dieting, adjusting, exercise and control my body in whatever food I am eating just avoiding not becoming big. When I say big, I mean huge fat lady.

Still thankful to my stepdad. But not everything I still wanted to thank him for. There are some things I hated the most, enough that I despise him and wanted to bury him alive, especially how he became a control freak. The kindness he had has an end, the thing that I admire the most has soon vanished. Changed to a hatred that even on his grave ain't easy to forget.

"Smile widely, Celes!" My manager shouts at me while I'm taking a good poise in front of the camera.

I did what had told. I can't even protest in whatever she wanted me to ask for.

"That's it! Perfect! Keep going." She claps her hands after I did what she said. She smiles widely with the satisfaction she gets.

Manager Roa even steps forward just to check if my cleavage was showing. She even unbuttons one of them, so my cleavage will perfectly be sculpted on the clothing I am wearing and just pop up.

"Show it, dear. It will be useless if you're not going to show how beautiful you are in the world. Post naturally and pull a little higher your dress up. It would be wasted if you didn't show how sexy and flawless your legs are," she added before turning back mentioning every bit of me I hid in the world.

Could I get a different angle after I did what she ask me for? It felt nothing is change, I will still the same Celestine. Oh yeah, things already changed after I met my stepfather and I grow up.

I felt like I'm doing a p*rn photo than a photoshoot but I did what she said. I even notice how the cameraman making a focus on those parts Roa mentioned. I can also tell that the man taking photos starting to have his hardcore. Damn! All men are the same!

THE photoshoot was kept until three hours. After that photo shoot, I can say how the photographer looking at me intently while I am now drinking the bottled mineral water. He even gazes at how the water running down into my throat.

After I finished the water I hurriedly run into the dressing room and change into more decent as how I see those eyes flaring with l*st.

"I know that you are like a Maria Clara-conservative image. But don't think that I am pushing you just because I wanted to do so. I only doing it for you to gain popularity, not for me but you," she said when I went out. She's referring to a famous character of the novel that Jose Rizal made. I just don't sure if everyone knows Jose Rizal when as far as I know he's a famous person in our school academic.

I nod as I understand what she's trying to say. I know Roa and I even know she's doing everything for my best.

According to them, within three days the prestigious magazine will come out where I am on the top cover.

"You just aged enough. Maybe you can do daring photos and not just ordinary pale kiddo-just like twitums. You know how the real world is. You can't do always the same, it should always new. I'm sure you get me. If you want your stardom to remain at the top, and the fame that we'd been taken care of, be always creative and fresh in their eyesight," she still reminding me when she saw how silent I am.

Hearing everything from Roa is like she was my elder sister. But whatever things happening to me, I can only remain in the world I built.

I had no close friends just acquaintances. Didn't even have a boyfriend to call for, when my father-stepdad to be exact, intervene and ask not to have any man on my side other than him. I even know how gorgeous I am, men almost drooling at the school whenever look at me. They can even turn their head and stop walking when they saw me passing by. I even joined school pageants but when my stepdad step into my life, everything turns upside down.

That's why even from school or after work either straightly go home or just go to a nearby church where my driver drove just to kill some time. Have peace and pray. Now I don't have any drivers, one year passed. Stepdad Brent taught me how to drive and got a car as a gift from him.

I only wish one thing every time I went into the church and it will never change. No one can ever change my mind.

I can even see how stepdad waiting for me from the entrance of the house-gate, just to see me arriving safely. He's more than a biological father can do for his daughter. Strictly crazy than my real father.

"How's the work, hija?" Why he went home early? He should have been into the office. Stepdad is a Company Executive Officer or simply CEO of a cosmetics company popular in the whole wide Philippines, distributing tons of cosmetics in every store or Mall.

"Good," I said blankly, holding my breath as I took for a quick kiss.

"Look what I told you, better to work as a model than working in the plane. There are a lot of men who can steal my beautiful daughter. You know how tight I am when it comes to this. We are good in all terms, except for you to take the work far from us," he kept nagging at me as standing straight in front of him and yielding my head. I hope he stops talking and letting me just change my clothes. I am also tired not only from the work but from him.

"Yes, Dad. I understand," I answered in defeat.

"Come on. Come inside. I will ask Yaya Madel to cook your favorite pork adobo." At last! He realized how exhausted I am.

I go inside the house with a blank expression, trying to hide the emotions. The feet continue moving upstairs until I reach my room.

The house speaks wealth, from the furniture, the sofa, table, stands, and even cabinets that import from Germany. The interior design looks like a German house version but the outside is the Pinoy version. The marbled materials like big to small jars came from Thailand and Japan. Some of it worth millions as to how Brent loves fragile things and sculptures. While mom loves painting that Brent even ordered it from Italy online from a famous painter. Some of that came from a Filipino-Canadian artist named Nicolene Zane Laurence, one of the famous paint artists.

Wearing long pants and a black oversized shirt when I went downstairs to eat. That food has a powerful effect on my stomach as it growls when I smelled it-my favorite food to be exact, before. But never now. I changed my preferences from the time Brent knows what I like.

"I know how hungry you are, come on," he invited me and pull a chair for me.

"I wanted to have some sausages. Where is Yaya Madel?" I ask as I saw how the house in an instant became quiet.

"She's in the grocery right now, I ask her to buy something for me," he said without blinking an eye as he kept staring at me.

We have two more maids, but even them, they are gone? Where the heck they went? "Where is Ate Luna and Ate Andeng?" I called them ate as they were older than my age and as an act of courtesy.

"I shut them to rest. Just three-day vacation for them including Madel."

So, it wasn't true that Yaya Madel went to do a grocery? Is this an excuse or some kind of a joke?

"But how about the house, Dad. Who will clean everything and even cook for us?" I asked abruptly as I don't have any interest in doing household chores especially for him.

Brent stood up, turning around, and went to my back. His hands pressed my shoulders as if starting to give me a quick massaged. "It's about time to learn the household chores. Right? You are even growing old. You should learn how to do washing cleaning and including cooking. Don't worry, I will guide you."

"Thanks, Dad. I know you will never let me alone," I said holding my breath.

"And about the sausage, we'll make it. I will give you right away," he said without hesitation.

I guess my life as a princess will surely end right now.

MY NIGHTMARE just started. That moment of my life that I despise the most. Many times that I wanted to cry or complain and tell mom everything. It is close to impossible. Mom will never take my side because she did it one time and she takes the side of Brent. People will easily be fooled by a saint rather than a kid's whim.

I'm almost taking a deep sleep when suddenly I opened my eyes when the lights overflowing the room. I am sure that I closed it and even my door is lightly open when I did closing them at night before I sleep. Maybe I just forgot it today.

When I lifted my face I saw Brent standing at the edge of my bed.

"Dad, do you need something?" I even pulled up the blanket closer to me.

"Yes. Can you make me some tea? I can't sleep," he said starting to sit at the edge of the bed.

Hesitantly, I pulled up and leave the bed. He could have it on his own. Don't he have feet? I'm almost having my dreams and suddenly he will go to my room without even knocking. Geez, this is hilarious!

Brent told me mom will be late for home today. She had to take overtime from the cosmetics company where my father makes her a full-time staff. Maybe that's why he wanted to see me and do the 'tea' for him.

When everything is done, I hurriedly went to the toilet, next to my room. I need to take a quick shower. I need to sleep again. This is the only thing my mind at ease... again.

I just felt the lukewarm water running down onto my body as I put my head under it while I didn't remove my clothes. I just wish everything will end, that it will alleviate my suffering and Brent will vanish like thin air from our life or even from my life.

I wish I could live or even work with Roa at her house now, so I could instantly disappear him from my sight. Just this few days. I just wanted few days of his non-existence. I would rather invest money to have a house for my own even I will waste and used my bank account.

The next day, I went early in the morning with Brent. He demanded that he'll be going to train me in his company so I can work there and I might inherit all his wealth.

"Three-fourth of all my property and my wealth will be given to you as your inheritance," he said smiling while we are loading from his car. He said it like a commitment. "Can I get a kiss as a reward?"

I slightly lifted my body for a quick kiss. "Thanks, Dad." and turned my head staring at the car's window.

"You're highly welcome, hija. It might take months for you to memorize and understand how to handle my company. You're brainy, for sure it would be easy-pissy for you. It would be better to give you a position. How about a small position?" he asks again while her eyes stick on the way we are going.

"That is nice, Dad. I love to have it," and force a quick smile while the back of my head wearing a no-interest look.

He scratches his chin. "How about giving you a secretary position? In due time, you can easily understand everything. I wanted you to make our business grow stronger, wider, and make us richer. That's the only company I had." He presses my hand to convince me. "I know you can do it, Celes. Will be better to focus on a career and not love life. Men are not good for your system. Your stepdad will be enough for your life, right?"

I drastically turn to gaze at him. "Yes, Dad," I said as he doesn't want anyone not to follow him and even not taking any answer from whatever he wanted to do.

The next day, Brent process my papers so I could work at BE Cosmetics Company. He transferred his secretary to another division so I could take his position. What a drat! He put him as my mom's secretary so she will never take any overtime. Good for my mom, bad for me. Now I can make that over time in exchange for mom.

After three months of working under Brent's supervision. I already memorized everything and with the brain, I have been a Summa C*m Laude during school years, things are easy to do even without Brent around.

Until this morning, Brent didn't come with me to the office. I'd been alone inside his office. Everybody in the office wondering why my stepdad is not around when he didn't apply for a vacation. Asking too many questions from time to time until I heard a word from my Mom.

I took the phone call when suddenly it didn't stop ringing. My mom is crying deeply and almost choking her words as she speaks over the phone. She's also asking if I could come to the hospital right now because something happens to Brent.

I almost knocked off my chair after mom called me. My hands are throbbing and frigid as ice. My heartbeat is pumping hard almost make me deaf and unstable. The news about my father still reverberating in my head. I can't even push my feet for a walk outside the door.

Many things I wish and many things kept banging on my mind lately that Brent will come out of our life because of the misery I had to endure from him. Today is the new day of my existence. This cage that my stepdad built soon will wreck and fall hard. Because something happened to my stepdad, Brent.

Brent Echavez is dead.