My soul mate

"Nada! Come here!"

From near the fence of Nada's house there was a woman screaming her name. Nada knew who the woman was, she was someone who often insulted her family.

Nada told Nazril to come in. Nada knew what was going to happen and she didn't want Nazril to hear it. Nada approached the rude guest who had pulled up in front of his house.

"Assalamu'alaikum, Mrs. Nia. What's going on..."

"Don't make too many pleasantries!" Nia snapped, interrupting Nada's words.

"Oh my God, ma'am. I just said hello, you know. Nia's mother forgot or what, the law answered that greetings were mandatory. So...."

Once again, Nada's words were interrupted by Nia.

"Don't lecture! Now is not the time for lectures. If you want to give a talk, go to the mosque!" Nia snapped and Nada just apologized and shook her head, feeling funny about her neighbor's behavior.

"I'm not giving a lecture, I'm just reminding you. If you answer..."

"What a lot of talk, huh!"

Nada exhaled roughly. It's useless, it feels useless to talk nicely to this person who seems to be getting emotional. Even his words that wanted to remind him were insulted.

"Okay Mrs. Nia, so, what is this actually about? Mother screams in hot weather like this in front of my house too."

Nada immediately asked the point why Nia came to his house and shouted his name.

"Hey itchy widow! Educate your child properly, OK? His behavior was not like that of a six year old child. Look! What have you naughty children done?" Nia showed claw and bite marks on her child's hands and neck.

"Sorry ma'am. You don't need to remind me how I should educate my own child. I know how my son is. He would never have started first if he had not been provoked and...."

"And what?" Nia interrupted

"So, you want to say that my son started first? That's it Nada!" Nia snapped until Nada turned her face away because Nia was pointing her finger right at Nada's face.

"I didn't say it like that. "In fact, you said it yourself," said Nada as he straightened his gaze again at Nia.

Nia looked angry, it was clear from her face which turned red. As well as clenching his palms so hard that his knuckles turned white.

"Hey widow! Still, your child is wrong. He likes playing physically. "This is the result of lack of education, lack of love from my father, that's why I'm naughty like this."

Nada could no longer contain his anger. People can insult themselves, people can curse at themselves. But, not with her children and husband. Moreover, she brings her husband's name into the problems that occur between these young children.

The husband she really respects even though he doesn't know the jungle. The child she loves and loves so much, Nada doesn't want people to bother her, let alone insult her.

"Miss Nia! That's enough, yeah. You may insult or vilify me, but I beg you not to insult or vilify my husband and children. I don't accept it!"

"What did you say? Husband? Haha, hello husband, where are you from? Hasn't Aziz been missing for five years? And you still consider him your husband, hah, pathetic!"

"Obviously, because never once did the word divorce come out of my mouth or Mas Aziz's mouth. That means I'm still his wife."

"You've gone crazy! My husband left for five years and didn't come back, which means he died! Why do you still consider him husband?"

"Watch your mouth, Miss Nia! Why are you interfering in my personal affairs? "Aren't you here to complain about my son's behavior which isn't actually wrong, he's just defending himself."

"You really need to take care of your life, so you are self-aware. If your husband runs away and is still retained, it's the same as making your own life miserable."

"Enough, ma'am! Why does your mother's discussion spread everywhere? If you have nothing else to do, please leave here!"

"You kicked me out?"

"Yes, because you have disturbed my comfort and invaded my privacy."

"Proud! Just be careful that our business is not finished, and the children's business is not finished either."

With a mouth that keeps muttering without brakes. Nia continued to grumble cursingly, uttering words that really hurt her heart. For Nada, this is normal, it could even be said to be daily food for her.

In her heart, she always called her husband. Sometimes Nada just wants to give up facing this huge ordeal. Maybe from the outside, yes, Nada looks strong, tough and tough. However, what about his heart? His heart had been hurt for a long time, since five years ago. And now that the wound has not healed, the wound in his heart is getting deeper and bigger.

'Mas, I need you,' Nada groaned to herself.

Not long after, Ningsih had just arrived from the market. He saw that Nada was silent with teary eyes. He knew what had happened. And things like this are no longer strange for Ningsih.

"What's wrong with you, kid?" Ningsih's sudden question made Nada gasp in surprise.

Realizing her mother's presence made Nada try to look okay. However, he couldn't just lie to Ningsih.

"There's nothing wrong with Nada, ma'am," Nada lied, smiling a fake smile.

"Don't lie, son. I'm your mother, I won't be easy for you to lie to. Now tell me, who else comes here and gets angry at you? It's your fault why you're still waiting for your husband. If only you would listen to mother's advice to open your heart to other men. Maybe you won't continue to be insulted by other people," said Ningsih with a little emotion.

"Nada is still legally Mas Aziz's wife, ma'am. "Nada can't get married again," said Nada as she went inside.

Ningsih followed Nada's steps, she again tried to advise Nada.

"Indirectly, you have divorced your husband, son. You don't even know how he is, whether he is alive or dead!"

"Enough, ma'am. Mas Aziz will always be Nada's husband. "Nada won't remarry until Nada knows about Mas Aziz," Nada's words started to get louder, even her index finger was raised.

"You dare raise your voice at your mother? Why do you keep defending Aziz who doesn't know what he's doing? Say you want to go abroad to improve the economy, what is this? It's been five years, son, five years. Does he deserve to be called a husband?"

Nada was silent, he knew he was wrong. But, is it wrong if he hopes? Blame him if he defends his household? Although indirectly their marital status is questionable. Go five years without providing physical or mental support.

Nada always thinks positively, she always strives for success, maybe if not now, next week, next month or next year, Aziz-her husband suddenly appears before her eyes, he is Nada's hope.

"Sorry, ma'am, if Nada has been impudent with you. Really, as long as Nada doesn't know about Mas Aziz, Nada won't get married again. If he was still alive, Nada would come back with Mas Aziz. Building our household from scratch again. Even if he is dead, Nada wants to know where his grave is."

"It's up to you, kid. I'm talking like this because I've been in your position. Living without a husband raising children alone, working hard. I don't want you to be like that, that's enough, Mom, son, that's enough, Mom."

Ningsih was miserable, her eyes had condensed, ready to drop clear liquid from her eyes. Ningsih is also a single parent. She was clear, because her husband, Nada's father, died when Nada was four years old.

Ningsih leaves Nada, while Nada can only watch her mother leave with feelings of guilt. Guilty for yelling at him.

"I'm sorry Nada, ma'am. Nada will prove that Aziz is a good man and Nada will follow him to Jakarta," muttered Nada softly.

After his argument with Ningsih. Makes Nada confident to look for Aziz. He actually wanted to know why Aziz had left him and his child for years without giving any news.

What made his heart ache even more was when he found and saw that his child had to be bullied because he didn't have a father.

Not only that, people often scold him. Accused of being a woman who brings bad luck and is an itchy widow who likes to tease other people's husbands.

Astaghfirullah.

That's the only word he often says. She felt that she had never seduced someone's husband. What exists is that he is always and always being bullied.

Currently, Nada is sitting daydreaming on the bed. While holding and looking at an old photo. The photo shows him, Aziz and Nazril--his child when he was one year old.

Drop by drop tears fell, wetting his eyes and cheeks.

"Mas, why don't you come home? Don't you miss me and Nazril? Don't you love me and Nazril anymore? Mas, do you know? For the past five years I've been suffering. Maybe I don't mind if people keep insulting me. "But... if you and Nazril are insulted, I'm not willing, I'm not sincere," he said with tears in his eyes.

Nada wiped her tears, that was enough. This wasn't the time for him to cry. She will prove to people that her husband is still alive, that his husband is still faithful. Maybe there was something that caused her husband not to come home and never give any news. And he must know why.

Accidentally, Ningsih saw what Nada was doing. As a mother, of course she felt sad about what happened to Nada.

Her anger and insistence on forgetting her husband are not solely because she doesn't care about Nada's feelings. In fact, Ningsih just wants Nada to get out of her sadness because her husband left her.

With slow steps, Ningsih walked closer to Nada. He slowly sat beside Nada and hugged her tightly.

Nada knows very well who the person hugging her is, a hug that always makes Nada comfortable and protected.

"I'm sorry, son. I didn't mean to want anything bad to happen to your husband. I just want to open your mind so you can think rationally. I also want you to be happy, not always in a pool of sadness because you mourn your husband."

Ningsih then let go of his hug. He brought Nada's body so that he was face to face with her.

"If your happiness only lies in your husband. Go! Find your husband, mother blesses you." Ningsih said later.

Nada could no longer speak. Her intention to find the whereabouts of her beloved husband received the blessing of her mother. He was moved.

"Are you serious mom?" Nada asked.

Ningsih nodded with a big smile. "Serious mother, go! Find the source of your happiness."

***

At around eleven o'clock at night, Nada, Nazril and Ningsih arrived at the port. At first Ningsih didn't want to take him to the port. However, he wanted to make sure that his children and grandchildren reached the port and wanted to let Nada and Nazril go.

When else will they meet? Ningsih is sure it will take a long time to find her daughter-in-law. Jakarta is a big city and it is not easy to find people there. It's like looking for a needle in a haystack. But, there's no harm in trying. At least your curiosity about the news of your child's husband can be a little quenched. Although the results will be disappointing. And with that, Nada must be willing to hide it, keep her longing in her heart.

The ship has started to pull over. This is a sign that they will soon be separated for an uncertain time. A flash of five years ago flashed in Nada's memory. How she had to be separated from her husband here, in this port.

Nada remembers well. In the past, her husband promised to come back and bring her, apparently, he never came back for five years.

'Sir, I still remember. This is where we parted ways. The ocean is a witness to our separation. And now the ocean will witness my departure to look for you in Jakarta'

"Ma'am, go, okay? Take care of yourself. And also please take care of our little ones. In Jakarta I will definitely miss you."

"Me too, sir. I can't be away from you and from today I have to get used to being without you."

"Nada!"

Ningsih's pat on Nada's shoulder brought him out of his thoughts. The glimpse of the image made his heart ache. He couldn't believe that the fate of his household would end in such a sad way. The crying tone immediately wiped it away.

"Yes, ma'am," said Nada to Ningsih.

"Mother can't give me anything. But take this with you if you really need to sell it." Ningsih took Nada's hand and then put the black box into Nada's hand.

Nada, who didn't understand, could only look at her mother full of questions.

"What is this, ma'am?" he asked Ningsih.

"This is mother's jewelry. This is your father's dowry, son."

"Nada doesn't want to take it. No need, ma'am. Don't sell. "That's from you," Nada handed the black box back.

"No! This for you. Take it, kid, who knows maybe you'll need it later."

"But, ma'am..."

"I don't use it, kid."

With a heavy heart, Nada took her mother's jewelry box. However, in his heart Nada promised that he would try his best not to sell the jewelry.

Ningsih then squatted down, aligning her body with Nazril, who currently looked sleepy. Nazril was leaning his head on his mother's body.

"Nazril, in Jakarta, don't bother mother, okay? You have to be a good boy."

Nazril, who had been holding back sleep, immediately opened his eyes wide.

"Yes, Grandma, Nazril promises to be a good child," answered Nazril while holding up his index finger as a sign of agreement.

"Good! Grandma's grandchildren are the best." Ningsih hugged Nazril and kissed him

Not long after, the sound of the ship was heard, which was a sign that the passengers had to immediately board the ship. Nada felt so heavy that she didn't even want to leave Ningsih. Nada hugged her tightly and cried in Ningsih's arms. Without realizing it, Ningsih started crying too. She has to accept Nada's departure for the sake of her love, in order to cure her longing for her husband.

Ningsih hopes that Nada can find Aziz's whereabouts. Whether he is still alive or has become a corpse. That's all Ningsih can do, pray. He also wants to see his only child find his happiness after being lost for five years somewhere.

"That's it, kid. "Hurry up and get up or you'll miss it," said Ningsih then opened her arms.

The tone was really sobbing sadly. "After Nada finds out about Mas Aziz, Nada will go home as soon as possible."

Ningsih nodded and smiled broadly. "Yes, mother will always wait for you."

Nada left, holding Nazril's hand and holding the bag containing her clothes in the other. Nada's tears wouldn't stop all this time, they felt heavy, very heavy.

'Oh Allah, please protect mother,' thought Nada.

'Oh Allah, I hope that what Nada wants can come true,' thought Ningsih.

Nada and Ningsih both thought to each other, praying for the best for both of them.

The ship is getting further away from the port. This is an even more obvious sign that Nada really has to leave her own mother, leave Kotabumi and leave behind her bad memories.

Maybe what his mother said was true. Take advantage of the time to look for her husband. Armed with minimal information, Nada will start searching for her husband's whereabouts. And hope he can find out what he wants to know.

Nada rubbed Nazril's head who was currently sleeping in his lap. Meanwhile, Nada leaned her head against the wall of the ship as her gaze wandered blankly. Thinking of her mother and husband whom she loved and loved very much. Nada didn't expect her life to be this chaotic and complicated. One wants Nada for now; found her husband and then returned to Kotabumi, North Lampung. Simple.

He didn't feel tears dripping from his eyes and this caught the attention of someone who had been staring at Nada. The person then approached and sat next to each other, but Nada was completely unaware of the figure of the person who had just sat next to her.

"Here, for you." The person sitting next to Nada handed him a tissue.

But, Nada remained silent. It seems like daydreaming is something that interests Nada. Feeling ignored by the person who had given him the tissue, he hit the wooden wall of the ship, causing Nada to jump in surprise.

"Oh my God," cried Nada, clutching her chest because her heart was beating twice as fast. Startled.

The tone of turning towards the person who was being rude disturbed him and shocked him beyond belief.

A handsome, young man was looking at Nada with a sweet smile. When their eyes met, Nada immediately looked away.

"Sorry, who are you? Why did you hit the ship's wall? I am surprised." Bright Honest tone.

"Sorry. After all, Mbak was stunned and crying too. There's a problem again, right?" he asked curiously and of course so familiar.

Nada had absolutely no intention of serving the person beside her. He's a foreigner and his shoes don't know. Moreover, his body and mind are tired. However, it seems that the young man, who is estimated to be in his 20s, did not give up. Just keep bothering Nada. Annoying with questions he didn't want to answer at all.

"Eh, what's wrong with those eyes, Sis? it's swollen like that. Cry all night, okay?" he asked searchingly.

Nada shook his head and smiled. Honestly, it's not the right time for him to talk much. Nada then chose to close his eyes, he wanted to sleep. However, again the young man who was nearby acted so friendly and so caring.

"Ma'am, why don't you answer? Hmmm, okay, well, it's okay not to answer either."

The short-haired young man was silent. However, a moment later he asked again and disturbed Nada...

"Oh, yes, where are you going, Sis? That's his son, right? Where's your husband?" a series of questions from the young man as he turned his head to each side of the ship as if he was looking for someone.

In fact, Nada, who at first didn't want to answer, said that the man who came to her was forced to speak up so that the young man beside her would stop interfering, or roughly speaking, stop disturbing.

"Sorry, Sis, I'm in a mood that can't be bothered. My head hurts."

That sentence finally came out of Nada's mouth. The reality is that he is like that, he has too many burdens in life to carry alone.

"Well, finally, Ma'am spoke up too. "Your voice is really soft, Sis," he said, showing a sweet smile that revealed his dimples.

"Oh, yes, Sis. My. My name is Akbar. What's your name, Sis?" he asked enthusiastically and hoped that Nada would answer.

Nada massaged the bridge of his nose to neutralize the dizziness he was currently feeling. Nada realized his mistake, no matter how big the problem he was facing, he should not show it to people as much as possible. Just like now, by remaining silent it is not impossible that the young man beside him will be more curious, perhaps even realizing that he is in trouble.

But, even though it was covered up, it seemed like people would still assume that he was in trouble. Because there are panda marks under his eyes. Which means that if he's finished crying, he won't stop.

Nada smiled, there was no harm in responding to this man's words, after all, he was still small and didn't know anything, thought Nada.

"I'm Nada," he answered briefly, holding his hand over his chest.

"Uh." Akbar felt embarrassed because he stretched out his hand asking to shake hands, but Nada instead clasped his hands together.

"Nice to meet you, Miss Nada," he said, breaking the silence

Nada nodded slowly and smiled faintly. Then Nada closed his eyes again and leaned against the wall of the ship. He hoped that the young man named Akbar would stop bothering him. However, that was just hope, the proof was that Akbar again invited Nada to chat.

"Ma'am, call me Akbar, don't do it, Sis," said Akbar suddenly, causing Nada to open her eyes and ask what the reason was.

"Why?"

"I'm not a child like Mbak's son," he explained with an awkward laugh.

"Okay. "I call you Akbar," said Nada then.

"That's better, sis. Oh yeah, where are you going? Or where did it come from?"

"I want to go to Jakarta," answered Nada as she closed her eyes again.

"I also want to go to Jakarta. Which side, sis? Jakarta is big."

Nada's head started throbbing again, until a moaning sound came out of her mouth.

"Are you sick?" Akbar guessed.

"Just a little dizzy. Didn't I tell you earlier?"

"Ah, yes. I forgot about that. Then go to sleep! "It looks like the ship will be stuck and will take hours to reach the port of Merak."

Nada nodded.

His tone was surprised, this was the first time he saw someone so familiar to him. A young man who looks good and cares about those around him. This made Nada think of Aziz-her husband. When Nada was still a girl, she fell in love with Aziz because of his friendliness and friendliness.

The quiet tone, who rarely socializes with other people, feels touched by Aziz's attention. Nada felt that someone cared about her until finally when Aziz expressed his intention to marry her, she immediately agreed. However, now those sweet memories have to disappear with Aziz's departure.

Nada really loves Aziz and also really misses Aziz. Nada hopes that Allah will always make it easy for her to find traces of her husband. Even though it will most likely fail. Searching for someone who has been missing for five years in such a big city is impossible. Plus the information that Nada has is not relevant.

'Sir, I miss you,' Nada whispered to herself.

Without realizing it, Nada shed tears again, and quickly wiped them away roughly. A moment later he looked at Nazril who missed his father no less. It hurt when Nazril mentioned his father's whereabouts. He was confused because he didn't even know where Aziz was.

'We will search together, son, for your father's whereabouts,'