My killer, my mafia boss

Love blinds people, it is clear. Even if I never believed this before, the reality was there, clearer than crystal clear water.

In fact, looking back more cautiously, I realized that there was really no way that situation could be any other way, I had always been his. Always.

The tattoo on my right wrist told me exactly that.

My thoughts ran differently from the time that passed around me.

The man I was looking at, my executioner, wanted to run towards me and protect me, this man would do anything for me. I dare say this man would die for me. His lips moved, in confusion and nervousness, telling me to get down. He took frantic steps towards me, but was shot in the stomach. My first instinct was to run to him, to see if he was all right. But he kept on shooting the men, not paying any more attention to me. I looked to the side, crystal glasses were exploding, as well as expensive china. I really should duck, protect myself, but I couldn't, I was stuck, in shock.

I turned to the other side and saw Nicole, her bulging six-month pregnant belly making her a nice target, except that Colle was all around her, protecting her so nothing could happen. He was shouting something to me. But I didn't listen either. There were people lying on the ground, and some soldiers exchanging fire.

Something hit my left ear hard. It took me a while to realize that it was a shot, I put my fingers in, feeling the throbbing pain, and my fingers came away wet with blood. My hands trembled, and I finally began to come back to my senses. My name was being called. I knew who it was. My fallen angel. And I wanted to go.

I looked away, and there he was. He was looking at me, in his right hand a Colt 9 millimeter, his eyes were scared, he was afraid for me. Not for him. Never for him.

I saw his lips move slowly.

- It's all right, darling," he said. - It's all right.

I tried to move my foot. But it wouldn't move. I couldn't, my vision was blurring.

- Alice, baby, you need to calm down, it's going to be okay.

The man to my right, the Executioner, caught my eye again. He looked incredulous, observing the whole situation. He shouted at me, telling me to get down. Then he was hit again. Another scream, my fallen angel.

He was trying to get closer, but we were far apart. He shot at a target behind me. Then he was hit once, twice? Countless shots rang out across the hall.

Both of us wounded.

Both needed me.

But only one I loved.

The truth is that I didn't care about anything else, I looked into his eyes and desperation hit me. I couldn't lose him. I loved him. And if everything went wrong, I would be happy to die by his side. Who knows, then we wouldn't finally have our happy ending?

Love blinds people.

Tears streamed down my face.

This was crazy, even if the whole thing didn't kill me, if I survived, it would surely cost me my life at some point.

But, once again, I didn't care.

So I ran towards the man I loved.

Where are you right now? How are you feeling right now? Happy? Are you fulfilled and complete with the choices you have made? Are you feeling welcomed and welcome? Do you feel safe?

Being safe is not something I know. I don't know what it is to be safe in a place, "of course you are welcome", I don't know what it is, from a very young age I was lost, so lost... and when I became an adult I couldn't find my way back. All the doors I knocked on remained closed, all the hopes I once had were stolen from me. I can't blame you either, I remember well, I try hard to remember every day: I had a choice. And I chose the path less painful, not only for me. It's a pity, the consequences that a simple "I accept" can generate are enormous. Unfortunately the path that I thought was better, or less painful, today gives me unimaginable pain, and marks that I will have to deal with for the rest of my life.

Ironically, I played Etta James.

"At last my love has arrived

My lonely days are over

And life is like a song

Ohh yes yes yes

At last

The sky is blue

My heart was covered with tranquility

The night I looked at you

I found a dream, that I can say

A dream I can call my own. I found a pleasure in squeezing my cheek a pleasure I've never known

Ohh yes yes yes

You smiled, you smiled

And so the spell was cast

And here we are in heaven Cause you're mine at last"

"At last love has arrived", again another waste of time? Love? I don't think I have ever felt it. I once fell in love, but all that feeling went away as fast as it came, sometimes I suspect it never existed. Jamie, the friend my father never introduced me to, who infiltrated our family, who approached me and soon took everything from me, left me with nothing but him to turn to. This was his plan from the beginning, how could I have missed it? How could I let myself get carried away? I feel that my problems started as a small speck of snow, and were so small and insignificant, today they have changed and become a big avalanche, a big destructive avalanche.

- Smile, darling. - Jamie snapped me out of my thoughts. - Everyone wants to see the bride's radiant joy.

My ears hurt just hearing those words, I thought the hardest thing would be saying "I do," but then I realized that the hardest thing was that moment, facing everyone as if I was happy. To have to live all my life with him.

How could I have come to that point?

- I don't think I want to dance anymore Jamie, my feet are killing me, I'm tired.

- Don't you dare leave this room. Besides, everyone is looking at us. And yet every man in the Gambino family wants to take you for a dance," Jamie said in a whisper, his voice was firm and fatal. I felt like yelling at him, saying that I wouldn't dance with anyone, that I wanted to leave, that I didn't love him, and didn't intend to love him. But I couldn't say anything, I was bound with invisible restraints, receiving the consequences of my choices. The dance finally ended, and we were greeted by a round of applause from the guests. I heard someone shout "Congratulations", "Hail to the bride and groom" and a few other words of joy and gratification. Everything I wanted to experience, and nothing I was experiencing.

Jamie spun me around and then took a deep kiss, his tongue invading my mouth and it was the worst kiss of my life. I had enjoyed that kiss for a few months now, I liked it. At that moment I had to hold back the urge to vomit when he kissed me, I felt a strong twinge in my stomach, and a real tightness in my chest.

Sadness.

The clapping only increased when he finally let go of me, I avoided looking at the guests, I didn't want them to notice my watery eyes. I was faking it so well that even the person closest to me wouldn't notice.

- May I take you at a dance son?

- Sure, papa. - Jamie greeted his father, the gentleman with the muscular body, the slightly gray hair, the piercing blue eyes. The man who gave me the creeps had a serious look, he looked like one of the characters from Tarantino's movies. James left me with him.

He kissed my hand and never took his eyes off mine, while a shiver ran through my whole body. Fear? Nervousness? I didn't know, but the feeling was not good, he looked at me as if he was going to devour me. Thank God the dance started, a typical Italian song. I closed my eyes praying that it would all be over soon and that I could finally run away from this nightmare, he put his hand on my waist, and I put my arms around his shoulders. He smelled of cigars and expensive perfume. As the dancing continued, he moved his lips to my ear and began to speak.

- Who would have thought that the great Trevor Madox would have a beauty like you hiding in his house... - I had to suck in countless deep breaths when I heard him talking about my father. My arms became stiff, almost hindering my movements. - You have no idea of the plans I would have for you.

He sniffed my hair possessively, causing my body to shudder and me to almost vomit.

- You're not much of a talker, are you? - I ignored the first sentence.

- Not to you. - I answered dryly.

- A naughty kitten. - He smiled wickedly. - I have no doubt that James will soon put her in her place, we have no place for rude women in this family.

- You're not my family," he said dryly.

- Oh dear, but of course we are. Don't think I like this arrangement as much as you seem to. You have no idea what your staying here has caused us. Your relationship with Jamie has only disrupted my business, I would rather have arranged it with a Costello, I don't approve of someone who isn't part of some family in our circle, and who comes from a rotten family that adds nothing to us. You and your family have caused me more problems than you can even imagine. Jamie made disastrous choices when he preserved you. - He sniffed his nose in disgust. - But I trust that James knows what he's doing. Otherwise, he's putting too much at risk. Oh, before I forget, darling, as far as I know you have no one. Just a game-addicted father and a submissive mother. No brothers, no kids... Yes baby, we are your family.

I felt my eyes burn as tears were insisting on coming down, my breathing became more irregular, and I could feel some stares on me, not that they were really noticing. To them I was just the happy bride dancing with her father-in-law. For a moment I let my eyes wander around the party, people were walking everywhere, smiling and talking. I looked at my parents for a moment, the only people who truly knew what was going on. My mother held onto my gaze and I felt pleading in them. Perhaps some tears dripped from her eyes. My father, on the other hand, didn't have the courage to look into my eyes. Since I found out everything, he never looked at me, or tried to talk to me. Was he angry, ashamed? After all I didn't blame him, the reason for all this was not only debts, there was more at stake. And my choices led us there.

My thoughts were interrupted by a hiccup. I looked back and saw a handsome, gallant man. Ethan.

- Excuse me, could I take you for a dance?

Whew. I let out a relieved breath as Ethan cradled me in his arms to dance.

- We are so happy for you.

- I thank you, Ethan.

- I'm sorry about Vivian, I know you grew up together, it must be hard not having her here.

- It's okay, even though I miss her a lot, she can be difficult sometimes.

- I can't imagine anyone different hanging out with you and Nicole. - He smiled.

- Yes, we really are soul mates. - I said, smiling.

- Look, I just want you to know that if you need anything, if anything is wrong, I can help you. - He said, his voice almost fading. He sounded embarrassed, extremely embarrassed.

I wanted to be able to tell him, I wanted to be able to give him the whole truth, I wanted to get away from there. But it wouldn't be fair to put all the shit on him, it wouldn't be fair not only to him and my parents, who needed me more than ever, but also to Nicholas and Nicole. After almost six years she could finally find her peace, have her family, have her quiet. I could never, ever ask that of her. Just over two months ago she had been through hell.

- It's okay Ethan, I really appreciate the concern.

- Ehhrr...I'm sorry. - He scratched the bridge of his nose absently. - I didn't have a choice, Nicole thought if I spoke... you know, Vivian asked...

- I know... I know... it's really okay. No, it's not. I'll be fine. I'm so screwed. Although... actually... there is something you could do for me, could you, um... could you distract James for a few minutes? You know, I need some air.

- Sure. I think it's about time I congratulated the groom. - He smiled.

He left me immediately. I tried to leave as unnoticed as possible, although I was still stopped by a few people. I climbed the back stairs to the luxurious castle on a hill by the sea, where the wedding had taken place. The narrow passage possibly led to the top of the terrace. I gripped the edges of the large tulle dress with steady hands so that it wouldn't drag on the floor and ran as fast as I could up the spiral stone staircase, praying that it would take me as far away from it as possible. Hot tears burned my face, the tears I had held back from early on when I had to lie to my best friend while putting on my wedding dress. The tears I had held back when I knew Vivian wasn't coming. But she was not wrong. I was living a lie. My heart ached when I realized that I had no one else to tell, I was alone. I let out the tears I had been holding onto from when I found out who Jamie really was, from when I discovered my parents' lies, when I had to say "I do". I cried for everything, a sob came from deep in my throat when I finally reached the terrace. It resembled the balcony of a medieval castle, a beautiful stone terrace, probably the only place in that luxurious place that had not been renovated.

The warm night had a starry sky, the moonlight with all its immensity bathed the sea in front of me, the only sounds were of the waves breaking against the rocks. The smell of the sea bathed my nose, so pure and deep... I slowly approached the edge, grabbed the edges of my dress and climbed up on the ledge of the low wall. A few small stones were pushed by my shoe, fell and were lost in the vastness of the night and the sea. I shuddered when I looked how high I was, I have never been afraid of heights, but of the sea, yes. The sea was fast and cruel, the summer nights were like this, the sea constantly with a hangover. I closed my eyes and hugged my own body as I cried silently. It wouldn't be so bad to fall from such a height, to have your body stretched out in the sea, to feel liberated from everything. I shook my head negatively, pushing these thoughts away from me. I couldn't be weak, I had to be strong.

- If I were you, I wouldn't stay there.

I looked back and my body jerked.

- Thomas came quickly over to me.

- No! No Thomas, don't come any closer. - I tried to keep my body still, I was still shaking from the fright.

- What's the matter with you? What are you thinking? You need to get down from there.

- What? No! That's not what you're thinking, I just wanted to get some air...

- On the edge of a cliff?.

- I... I... uhhr! - A strong wind whipped past me, causing my dress to tangle around my legs, and I staggered ready to fall. When I was held up by large muscular arms, Thomas had taken me in his lap. In fear I had closed my eyes as tightly as possible, certain that I would fall against the rocks.

- Damn it! - he shouted. - What's the matter with you? - he asked more arrogantly than the first time, as if I hadn't understood the question.

- Nothing! And you can put me down!

Another gust of wind caught us, carrying away my veil, which disappeared into the sea. I put my feet down and looked at him seriously, he was much taller than me, almost two meters tall, dark hair thrown back, green eyes, thin lips. He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen.

- I can't swim," he finally said.

- It didn't look like that, it looked like you were ready to take a big dive.

I looked at him seriously, somehow I sensed a sense of humor in his voice.

- I'll have to report that to Jamie. - He returned the arrogance to his tone.

- I...I...that's not what you saw. It wasn't what it looks like...he doesn't need to know.

The last thing I wanted to do was piss James off, I knew exactly what he was capable of.

- I can't, it would be extremely unprofessional to keep anything from him. Please, I need you to go back to the salon.

- No! You are not even my security guard anymore! I know very well that you are here as a guest. I swear, I'll come down, please don't say anything to Jamie.

He looked at me for a few minutes as if in an internal battle. But then he nodded.

- Better get downstairs, they must be missing you.

Six months earlier:

I parked my Land Rover in the parking lot of Tiffanys. I wanted to give myself a present. I chose the little bracelet with a small drop-shaped pendant, a small sapphire, and gave my debit card into the saleswoman's hands and entered the password as I normally did.

- Card declined, ma'am. Do you have another one you can swipe?

A blush came over my face; I had never experienced this before.

- I gave her another card.

- Card declined again. Would you like to give a check?

- No, thank you. - My face flushed. - There must have been a problem with the card, I'll call the bank, they'll sort it out today. Just leave it separate, I'll come back tomorrow to pick it up.

I turned to leave and bumped into Thomas, my face flushed even more as he watched the whole story unfold. Thomas was the handsome security guard that my father had put on my tail after the bombing at home. He was a man of few words, the kind of man who made butterflies flutter in my stomach, my hands sweat, and my heart beat fast. I always tried to talk to him and he always ignored me and kept our relationship strictly professional. But he was a totally admirable man.

- Problems? - he asked as he followed me, surprising me with his voice.

- It's no big deal. I think I had some trouble with my bank account.

He nodded, then dropped me off at the safety of the house.

Later I called the bank, "the respective amount was withdrawn a week ago from your accounts". How?" I thought startled. "The amount was withdrawn by Mr. Madoxx, the holder" was the answer they gave me.

What? My father? Why would he withdraw all my money without telling me? I needed to know this. Next I called Vivian, thinking about borrowing money to buy the bracelet, but then I gave up, it was just a bracelet, an expensive Tiffanys bracelet, but just a bracelet.

Besides I knew that the whole misunderstanding would be resolved. It was my birthday and we were going out to celebrate. Maybe this was all part of their surprise for me, I thought, cheering up again.

We had arranged to go to a luxurious restaurant in San Diego, California, George's Ocean Terrace. A restaurant with a beautiful rooftop and panoramic ocean views. San Diego was our new address since we had moved from Texas. My father could no longer live in just one place, so he convinced us that it would be good for me to see other places after spending most of my life stuck in a girls' school. In five years, we lived in eight different cities.

So we had finally settled in one city, during all that time, I did my college from a distance, except for the last term, where we came to an agreement that it would be better to finish college and I could have my graduation in a big city, so we chose California, with UCLA which was one of the best colleges in town. It would end up being good for all of us.

I arrived at the beautiful restaurant and went straight to the rooftop, I found my father sharing a glass of wine with my mother. We spent the whole time talking. My father's eyes fixed behind me.

- Jamie! - my mom called first. - Honey, come join us!

I also turned around surprised by his presence. We had only been together a very short time, so I ended up not sharing my birthday with him.

- Jamie! - I exclaimed. - What a surprise, what are you doing here?

- Actually your father invited me. - He smiled, and then pulled out the chair next to him to sit down.

I looked at my father, who expressed no opinion on this.

- The most expensive wine in the house, please, let's celebrate today!

I noticed that Dad shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

I don't think that's necessary. - My father exclaimed. - Just order yourself a glass; Elizabeth and I have had enough to drink for today.

- They're right," I said to Jamie. My parents didn't drink much, and neither did I. A bottle would be too much for us. A bottle would be too much for us.

- No problem! Bring the bottle of the best wine in the house! - the waiter nodded and left.

We spent most of the evening like this, a dinner that was supposed to be peaceful, turned into a tense event. My father, who had always gotten along well with Jamie, seemed to be treating him with ignorance the whole time, and Jamie would find a way to get back at my father. My mother and I tried to handle the situation as politely as possible.

- So how much longer do you intend to stay in town Jamie? - my mother asked, batting her big brown eyelashes and trying to imitate the purr of a kitten.

- I don't know, I came here thinking I would stay a short time, but I ended up changing my plans as some things happened.

- Oh, look! The dessert. - My mother, with the happiness of a child, warned.

- Wait, before we eat dessert I have a toast to make. - Jamie stood up with his glass, attracting the attention of the whole restaurant. - To the most magnificent, beautiful, extraordinary woman I know.

We all stood up and then toasted in unison.

- To Alice!

- Wait! - Jamie said before sitting down. - I still have something to say.

Jamie knelt down in front of me.

Oh no!

My mother shouted.

My father grumbled.

I was mute.

- Holy crap! - I said a little too loudly.

- Alice! - my mother called my attention.

I looked at Jamie still kneeling in front of me, his face embarrassed.

- I'm... I'm... I'm sorry Jamie. - I tried to keep my voice down as much as possible. I reached out to help him up, but he didn't accept my help. He stood up by himself and looked at my father with such anger that it was palpable. Then he muttered something to him that I couldn't understand. - Check please. - I heard my father calling out.

The waiter brought the bill. We all sat in awkward silence at the table. Almost five thousand in expenses. Jamie politely offered to pay, then left without another word.

God! What a shame. Poor Jamie, humiliated in front of my family, humiliated in front of everyone in the restaurant, I left thinking. I didn't even have the courage to call him, I really never in a hundred years would have imagined that he would ask me to marry him.

Our relationship happened fast, he was a friend of my father's and one day I simply met him at home. He introduced himself, and I fell in love. He was sweet and gentle, but there was something, that even though I was hopelessly in love, made me want to run away from him, maybe the intensity that he looked at me, the way he touched me... I don't know... There was something.

Three days later, I woke up late at night with a tremendous headache, I should have gone to dinner with Vivian, but my flight was delayed, the airline staff would only have one flight booked for the next day, so disgruntled and with a terrible migraine, I preferred to stay home. I slowly descended the stairs, and could hear part of the discussion.

- You are nothing but a mercenary profiteer!

I heard a dry laugh and then Jamie's voice.

- It's business, my old friend.

- It's not just business! You got close to my family, you got close to my daughter!

- I haven't done anything she wouldn't approve of. - I said then.

- How could you...? My daughter really likes you.

I am sure that my father's plans for your family were the most perverse possible. Rest assured that her being in love with me is the least of the problems YOU have involved them in.

- Isn't it enough what you have taken from me? You have taken everything!

- Everything? - Jamie laughed. - That's not even half of what you owe us. Everything has interest, it's business.

- I don't have anything else! What do you want me to do? I'm broke!

Good Lord! I couldn't believe it all. Jamie was blackmailing my father. This, in a way, explained the disappearance of the money from my account.

- I could kill him!

I heard Jamie speak, and my body shook. Kill my father? Would the Jamie I knew do that? Although in truth we hardly knew each other. His tone was not loud, I knew that tone, low but deadly.

- So be it! My father spat.

- Ah, poor man! What would he have gained by killing an old fox?

- Don't even think about it. - My father increased the tone.

- Don't even think about it? We had a deal! You would talk to her until her birthday, convince her that I am the ideal man, we would get engaged, married, and then I would forget all about her debts.

- Forget them! I told you, Alice is young, dreamy, she doesn't deserve a scoundrel like you!

- That's not what she screams when she's under me.

I heard a loud noise and a groan, probably a punch. I wanted to interfere, to scream, to ask him to leave, to demand information from my father. But I was in shock, my heart pounding in my chest, my breathing heavy.

- Don't you ever talk about her like that again!

Jamie burst out laughing and then spoke up.

- I don't care what the fuck you say to her, I want her, and I want her now. Then you'd better convince her that the best thing to do is to marry me. I'm not going to give you another chance, you've screwed one of my father's biggest casinos. He won't turn a blind eye. I'm offering you a white flag, the girl. And this stays between us. I pay your debt, you give me the girl. You have three days. You know where to find me.

Then I heard what sounded like the living room door slamming.

I took a few deep breaths, my heart felt like it was going to jump out of my mouth, my hands were sweating, and my whole body was shaking. But I gathered my courage and went to my father's office, certain that if I didn't question him at that moment, I would never question him again.

- Dad? I pushed open the door slowly, and he was sitting in his armchair, hands resting on his face, elbows on the desk.

He was startled when he saw me. Heavy lines of expression took over his face when he saw me. He was clearly upset.

- What are you doing here? I thought you would be at Vivian's.

- I was not a father.

His posture became even more rigid.

- I heard everything, Dad. Everything! - I let out all at once. I emphasized "everything.

- I am so sorry my child.

I turned and looked at my mother, who was sitting on the other side of the office. Silently, her eyes were swollen, probably from crying so much.

- What do you mean you're sorry, Mom? You were here the whole time? Did you know?

- Honey, I'm sorry, this is not the right way for you to find out about the problems we are going through. The truth is that your father has had gambling problems for a long time.

My father looked disapprovingly at my mother, as if he didn't want her to speak.

- Come on, Dad. I've heard enough shit from you and Jamie. I want to know the truth.

- Your father has a problem with gambling. Poker, roulette, Black Jack, slots... - She took a break, in case my father interrupted, and when he didn't, she continued. - He has been gambling ever since we met, and unfortunately it has become an addiction.

- Elisabeth... - My father called her attention.

No! God! She needs to know, she's twenty-two now, she's not a child anymore. Her life is at stake now! - my father fell silent.

- You know, he travels a lot, and on one of those trips, he ended up running up a huge debt at one of the major casinos on Seattle's east coast, not a fair debt, but what you'd expect from gambling. It's just that when you don't pay, you have to deal with the debt collectors.

- Jamie," my voice comes out in a whisper.

- I'm sorry, we didn't... I didn't know my daughter. - She sighed sadly. - In an attempt to pay off the debt, he sold some assets, ran up some more debts, bankrupted the entire family inheritance. In the end he accumulated millionaire gambling debts. Even though he sold everything, the debt is still absurd. Everything became a snowball.

Oh no.

- There must be something we can do... I don't know, maybe get it from somebody... get it from the bank...

- We have tried everything. Legal loans and even loan sharks, but they work for him too. We have no relatives, your cousin John doesn't even dream of earning enough to help.

- Maybe the police. Have you ever thought of going there to denounce the Games' schemes?

- Unfortunately that's not how it works," my father said. - Many of them are influential people, many policemen are part of their clientele. I don't have a choice.

- I-I had some money, it disappeared, it wasn't much, but if you have it saved, maybe we can get it from someone else, I can get a loan, or get a job... I'm sure if I talk to Jamie he can extend the term.

- What money? - my mother got involved.

- My savings, I called the bank, both savings accounts have been emptied. Five days ago, my father... - I felt my tone losing its way.

- Oh my God! Don't tell me you took the money from our own daughter's account!

My father was silent.

- I don't believe it! How far have you come? That was our deal! You would never touch her savings, she would never know about your problems. How could you? This was her future. My father bowed his head in genuine shame.

- I can't believe it, Dad, you spent my money, not to pay off debts, not so that I could invest in my future, but to feed your addiction?

- It wasn't like that," he said quietly. - I was sick, I couldn't think. I promise that we will work it out.

- What the hell! I don't believe it! How could you? What do I do? What are we going to do now? We're broke! Thank God we still have a place to live, otherwise what would we do? Dad, how could you be so reckless?

- The house... the house is mortgaged... and it's going up for auction in five days. - My mother spoke behind me calmly.

- What?!

It couldn't get any worse.

My father got up with an agonized groan of pain, his hand on his chest, then with a shuddering "thud" on the floor he collapsed.

- Good heavens! Alice, call 911!

Well, in a matter of minutes I took that back, it could definitely get worse.

We arrived at UC San Diego Health Hospital and soon we were seen, the doctors didn't give much information about my father's situation. What we did know was that he would have to undergo emergency surgery, which made it all that much more frightening. My mother and I were sitting in the waiting area when she gently began to speak.

- He was still a good father. - Her voice was low and shaky, she sounded like she wanted to cry. - He tried, Alice. God knows he tried, for the most part he gave us a good life. He did everything he could.

- Everything he could? Mom! Can you even hear yourself? We have practically nowhere to live, we're broke! What are we going to do?

I lowered my tone as I noticed other people in the waiting area watching us.

- I think we can go spend some time with John, ask for shelter... I don't know, I can work too.

- Mom, I can't move in with John! What about you? You never graduated from anything, what would you work at... Mom... and me!

- I am sorry daughter, I know you think we are not thinking about you, but we did our best to hide it from you, unfortunately your father is sick.

- There you go. You shouldn't have hidden something like this. I could have helped, started working earlier. I don't know. Look at what this has all become! All that involvement with Jamie, God I went out with him! You knew, and yet you didn't tell me.

- I really didn't know about the whole involvement behind the relationship with your father and Jamie. I found out after your dinner. Unfortunately your father lied to me too. All I wanted was to keep him out of it. Unfortunately, by the time I found out, it was too late.

- Why mom, why does Jamie want me? What does he get out of it?

- I don't know either, it must be some kind of sick game, to make your father suffer. Don't worry daughter, we would never let him take you away. We would never accept it without a good fight. Don't worry, as soon as your father gets out of this, we'll fix it. Everything will be fine.

- Yes, it will, Mom," I said, even though I knew deep in my heart that this was not true. It was Jamie who would not lose without a good fight.

A few minutes later a doctor crossed the hall.

- Mrs. Elisabeth Madox?

- Yes. - My mother and I got up.

- Well, I have good news and bad news. Mr. Trevor had to have emergency surgery, he has a rare heart syndrome, called Aortic Dissection.

My mother immediately started to cry. A rare disease? How? My father has always been healthy.

- Are you sure Doctor... Bruno? - I said, with my eyes circling his name tag.

- Yes, I am sure. Actually, you are lucky you brought him in so quickly, most of the time when the injury to the heart is fatal.

- But how? - my mother asked. - How come we never noticed?

- It is a rare disease, it affects only 30 out of every million worldwide. And the symptoms are easily confused with other types of problems.

- I mean, I know he is sick, I know he will need care, but he is cured, isn't he? - I asked, feeling an enormous dread for the answer.

- Unfortunately, there is no cure for this problem, but there are some treatments that can give the patient an almost normal life. Of course, there will be care that will be needed, but the treatment is quite effective.

Can we see him? - I said with a trembling voice, feeling a pain pulsating in my head from holding back the tears.

- Yes, but at the moment only through the ICU observer until he goes to the outpatient clinic. I will accompany you.

When I saw my father with all the equipment, intubated, pale face, closed eyes, looking dead, that's when it really hit me. My God, my father! Silent tears streamed down my face, my mother was talking to the doctor about the procedures that were done, but I couldn't pay attention. The anger was gone, and replaced by fear and regret. My father might have died, might not survive in that hospital, how selfish of me to accuse him, to not try to understand him. He was sick, at that moment I could see, what is addiction if not a disease?

I brought my hand close to the cold glass and sobbed softly. I felt a hand rest on my shoulder and turned around. It was my mother.

- It is almost one hundred thousand in medical costs, including the days he will need to stay here to recover. The surgery went well, he seems stable, but in addition to the expensive drugs he will need for life, he will need to be treated in this hospital, which will generate costs that we don't have. Oh God, this is like a nightmare. - My mother cried as she approached him.

- Mom... I'm... I'm sorry, I need to go out... I need to cool my head down.

My mother said nothing, she was lost in thought. So I left. My family was getting lost and I couldn't let that happen, so I took my Land Rover and drove to the one person I didn't want to ask, but was the only one who could help me.

I arrived at the hotel where Jamie was staying and there was no barrier, the staff were already used to my presence there. I typed in the access code. When I got to his floor, I knocked three times, almost sure that there was no one there, I was about to give up, because it took a long time to be answered, but soon a light went on, and I shivered when I realized that he would finally open the door.

A beautiful woman appeared, she was wearing a robe and her hair was disheveled, she stank of cheap perfume.

- I want to talk to Jamie," she said at once.

- Handsome, you have visitors," she said debauchedly, looking me up and down.

I looked at her seriously, lifting my feet to look behind her shoulder to see if I could see him.

- I need to talk to him, it's urgent, Jamie! Jamie! - I was trying to get past her.

Finally I heard her voice.

- What the fuck is all this screaming at this time of night?

- Jamie! - I shouted. - It's Alice.

- Alice? - he asked surprised. He was wearing dark jeans, which clung to his slim build. He was shirtless. His brown hair was clearly messy, easily showing what they were both doing before I arrived. His square, striking face was clean-shaven, his cheekbones were rugged and his lips full, he looked like a damn Vogue model. He took the woman's arm and said roughly.

- Get dressed and leave, now. - He looked at me seriously. Then he added. - What are you doing here at this hour? - He ran his hands through his hair.

- I-I-I have to go in.

Then the woman walked past me dressed, and I went in.

- Bourbon? - he slammed the door.

I felt claustrophobic.

- No. - God! - my mother cried beside me.

- Come with me to the office, we can sit down quietly. I'm sorry about her," he said. - She's just a friend.

I smiled sarcastically. Of course she is.

- I don't need to come to your office. My hands were sweating, and I had to bite down hard on my lips to contain the agitation.

- Then we can stay right here, if you prefer.

- Jamie, I know all about my father. About the gambling, the debts.

He smiled between his glass, and then inquired.

I'm glad he told you, now we can finally play fair.

- Play fair? Jamie, I have never lied to you. And when I wake up suddenly, I find out that you are threatening my father, that I have never been anything but a business to you.

- Honey, I don't know what world you live in, but in mine, money rules. And your father owes us a lot of money. I don't want anything more than the money he owes us.

- He doesn't have that kind of money, you know. We are broke, thanks to you!

- No baby, he who came to us, he who drowned them in debt.

- You! You... shouldn't have let him play, shouldn't have let the debt get so high. How could you? You always knew how this worked? You slept with me and then threatened my father. You are nothing but a sick worm!

- What do you think I am, Alice? A fucking babysitter? No! This is grown-up stuff, you made the debt, you pay it! You don't pay, or you pass us over, you die! Your father always knew the rules. He chose so, unfortunately now you are treading on thin ice.

- You... are going to kill me? Kill my parents? You wouldn't be able to. - My voice trembled. Jamie came closer to me.

- Sweet Alice, make no mistake, I am of the Gambino family. There's no room for pity there. I am not and never will be a good man, however, I would never hurt you. But, that doesn't mean that we have forgotten the debt, so unless you have brought the money your father owes us, the best course of action you can take is to go to the funeral home and order a coffin.

A sob came out of my mouth. What will I do?

- And can't your father, like the rat that he is, come and talk himself? - A visceral sound of indignation came out of his mouth.

- My father is in the ICU, Jamie. He had a serious health problem! That's why I came. We have no way to pay the debt. But I am willing to give you anything to leave my family alone.

Jamie came closer, his lips almost pressed against mine, and pulled something from his drinks cabinet, a Glock. He rested it next to my head. My body froze, I couldn't move.

The barrel was cold on my temple, salty tears bathing my face. Then he kissed me, it was terrible and sickening, I couldn't return the kiss. Jamie kept looking into my eyes and watching my reaction. I watched out of the corner of my eye as his fingers threatened to pull the trigger. Just then I heard a dry sound, he had pulled the trigger. I felt pressure on my head, but there were no bullets.

My whole body shook and I started to sob loudly as he stared at me with cold eyes.

I had never felt so humiliated in my entire life, so angry, so disgusted. But I wouldn't give up. I couldn't.

- I-I-I-I don't have it... we-we can't pay the debt. That's why I came here. - My hiccups came out ugly.

Jamie let out a sound of indignation. Now, looking into his eyes, he didn't look happy at all.

- Hey baby, you should know what you're getting into. Once you have a wedding ring on your finger, there is no escape. Gambino women only come out of a marriage dead.

- B-but why me? Why marry me? I am certainly not the most beautiful, n- nor the only one you enjoy. It is also obvious that my family is broke. Why me? What can I offer you?

- Besides your father's unhappiness, knowing that you are mine? Nothing, sweet Alice.

I almost threw up. He was crazy.

- So, if I marry you, do you promise to leave my family alone?

- Not only leave them alone, but settle their debts and keep them as long as necessary so that no one will suspect that they are really just a couple of screw-ups. But darling, you must know that marriage to someone from the Cosa Nostra means more than this, it means loyalty, duty, commitment with blood.

So will you forget about the debts? Will you leave us alone?

- You must be mine, serve and be loyal to me, adultery is not well regarded in the eyes of the family, my own mother was flogged in front of everyone and burned with branding irons, simply because the pope thought she had insinuated herself to a soldier. He, the poor man, had his body burned in front of her. So before I do anything, I need to know that you are sure, there will be no turning back, I need your name, and you need your family.

What choice did I have? My house for sale, thousands of dollars in debt, my father sick. The truth was that there were only two ways out of this, either we would all die or I would marry James and save everyone. What could I do? Right was that I didn't know that Jamie, but I ended up going out in the rain, now I should weather the storm.

- I accept," I said quietly.

- Ah, sweet Alice, I was sure we would have worked this out long ago if your father had told you the whole truth. I've always seen potential in you! You have true Irish blood in you! Let's go! We need a toast.

Jamie filled a glass with whiskey and put it in my hand.

- I don't want any. I don't want any. Thank you. - Then, on second thought, I thought I needed a drink. I took it and turned my glass around in one go.

- To your long life by my side, princess.

The drink went down burning, and I held back a cough.

- For security reasons, from today on I command your bank account, your blackberry, your e-mail and social networks. We will meet in two days. We will get engaged in Italy. Lunga vita a noi!