My eternal Summer love

Bruna looked at the white ceiling as if that was the most important thing in her life. Again that emptiness took over her in such a way that nothing made sense. It felt like his soul was leaving his body and wandering in the middle of nowhere, trying to find somewhere to stay. I needed to do something to change what was about to happen again.

No... She didn't want to go into deep depression, use more medication than she already used and just thinking about the possibility of a new hospitalization already felt her heart beating out of rhythm and a drop of sweat running out of nowhere on her forehead.

She thought of Adrian... Yes, he was the key to change. They had been together for almost six years, had been engaged and were looking forward to the wedding that would someday take place. She had never had another boyfriend, had never loved anyone.

Only Adrian existed in her life. And she was proud of having him by her side, of the respect they felt for each other and the relationship they had built. It was as if he was the reason she didn't fall into the disease again. But still, at that moment, it felt like that wasn't enough. She wanted more out of life, she wanted more of Adrian...

She wanted to get married. It was time for the two of them to move in together and live their lives apart from their families, forming a new home, which would soon be filled with children, new lives they would be responsible for. For her there was no better reason to live than children who would brighten their lives. Then there would be no more sad and meaningless moments.

They would be infected with fun, joy, maternal and paternal love and small arguments of couples that would take it easy because they would be a perfect couple and family. And every fulfillment of her dream of getting married and having children she wanted at Adrian's side.

They had been planning for a while to get married when they finished college. But in that moment she wondered why they had to wait? They loved each other, had the money to live together and build a house they would later call home. She decided she would talk to him about it.

- Bruno, can I come in ?

She heard the light knock on the door and Cassiane opened it and put her head on the frame.

- Come in, Cassi. I really wanted to talk to you. – Bruna said, getting up from her trance and her thoughts with the ceiling.

- So I arrived on time. - Cassiane said smiling.

- You can sit. It's all messed up, but... It's always messed up. - she laughed.

Cassiane took some pillows off the bed and sat down comfortably with her sister. In addition to being a sister, Bruna considered Cassiane the most reliable person in the world. And advice then... Nobody gave it better than her.

- I'm listening. - said Cassian.

- Cassi... I've been thinking for a while... Would Adrian agree to marry me before finishing college, as was our plan?

- Like this? Do you want to get married before finishing your studies?

- Well, yes.

- I think Adrian will be caught off guard by this.

- We love each other... What difference does it take to live together? If he loves me, all he'll want is to be with me.

- But you agreed on this a long time ago... Bruna, you are still so young. Why not wait a little longer? This might not work... You still have so much to live for, girl.

- Cassi, I love him and he loves me ... What can go wrong with the fact that we get married? I know it will work, that he is the ideal man for me.

- Bruna, it's not like that... Marriage is living daily, every possible hour. You are a couple that get along well... Why anticipate everything? You have lived nothing, my sister.

- I've known Adrian for almost 6 years... It's a long time. I think he is just like that, as I know him. I don't think he'll change because we'll live together.

- Bruna, is this all about your virginity?

- Of course not, Cassi. How many times do I need to repeat that the decision to marry a virgin is mine and has nothing to do with him. If at some point I want to change that, I change it and that's it. I know you think this is crazy and old-fashioned, but Adrian respects my decision and that makes him even cuter than he already is. You know about my dream of getting married and all... It just seems like it's more in the air now than ever.

- In my opinion you are still very young... You are only 20 years old, Bruna...

- I'm not just 20, Cassi. I'm already 20 years old. You know how short and amazing life is. What if I die tomorrow? I want to die knowing married life with Adrian.

Cassiane took a deep breath and said:

- You crazy and hard headed. Adrian loves you and surely neither you nor he will die tomorrow. You have a lot of time ahead of you. Just out of adolescence. Adrian loves her and will always be yours, married, engaged or boyfriend...

- It's been 6 years of waiting... That's enough. The time has come.

- Do you think 6 years is a lot? I'm expecting much more than you. And I'm in no hurry to get married. Cristiano and I are so happy together... We also love each other very much. And I don't believe marriage would change our relationship for the better.

- Cassi, we never think the same about marriage, wedding dress, party and everything else, right? – Bruna said laughing, remembering that since they were little they differed about it.

Cassiane laughed remembering some moments from their childhood:

- Yes... You always believed in "happily ever after". I never believed this phrase outside of a romantic comedy movie. I'm happy in my own way... And you know that for me marriage is just a piece of paper that officializes a union, nothing more. I don't think I even want to get married, actually. she said.

- Cassi, what do you think of what I told you?

- Well, you more than anyone know everything I think about marriage. However, it is your life, your dreams and desires that are there. If this will make you happy my sister , go ahead and I will support you as always. - Cassiane said with a wide smile showing the beautiful white teeth lined up. - You know that regardless of the decision you make, I will always be by your side, supporting you.

- I really need to hear this from you. Bruno confessed.

- I think you need to talk to someone else, don't you? I don't know how she will react when she finds out...

- I know that Mom will also support me.

Cassiane laughed and pinched Brune's nose:

- You smartass... You know Mom never says no to you, right?

The two embraced. Bruna loved Cassiane too much. Smelling her hair was always like the freshness of a beautiful sunny day, nice but not hot. She smelled like summer. She was the most optimistic and high-spirited person Bruna knew. She was always happy, willing to help and was never sad about anything. She was the mainstay of their home.

- Cristiano won't come today? asked Bruno.

- No... They went to the stadium. - she said. - Don't you remember that there's a football game today?

- I confess I forgot. Adrian invited me to come along, but you know I hate football and their yelling. Besides, I needed to study because I have an exam this week.

- Good to know that Adrian invited you. Cristiano didn't even think about inviting me I think. I'm going to take a shower and then I'm going to send him a very rude message. Let's fight and then make up. – she said laughing.

- I think he didn't ask because he knew the answer would be no too. - she laughed.

- But seriously, Bruna... Adrian is cute. He knows you don't like football, yet he invited you. This man does not exist.

- There's no comparison, Cassi... He and Cristiano are completely different.

- I know... Cristiano looks like an ogre sometimes. Adrian is a sweetheart... That's why everyone likes him. Even mom prefers him than Cris, right? But for me, believe me, he's perfect like that. I wouldn't change anything about it.

- Cassi, the two are completely different, but Cristiano loves her very much and you know that, don't you? I can't even imagine Cristiano cheating on you. However Adrian, with his sweetness and delicacy with everyone, is sometimes not well understood by needy women. - she laughed. – You understand what I'm talking about, don't you?

- But in these 6 years you never knew of any betrayal from him, right?

- Well, I never knew, although I'm not naive and I know he must not have been waiting 6 years for marriage to make love. Even so, all I care about is his relationship with Catita.

- If I were you, I would never worry about her. If Adrian liked her, he wouldn't have stayed with you. And 6 years have passed . What they had was a teenage affair, that's all. I think she 's a beautiful, sexy, seductive woman... But I know Adrian only sees her as a friend.

- Beautiful, sexy, seductive? Do you want to destroy my self-esteem? – Bruna asked, laughing.

Cassiane laughed out loud:

- Sorry my bad...

- Catita still likes Adrian. I don't think she'll ever come to terms with losing him to me.

- I don't think what exists between them goes beyond a sincere friendship. And if I were you, I wouldn't try to stop it. They've known each other for a long time.

- Cassi, I'm sure she still likes him.

- They will never have a relationship again, Brune. Forget it. Don't put things in that little head of yours.

- I feel very insecure about her .

- Adrian is not the kind of man who would do that... Besides, he loves you and everyone knows it.

- And if he likes her again?

Cassiane got up from the bed and said laughing:

- I can't believe I'm hearing this, Bruna. You are very creative in that brilliant mind of yours...

- Are you already going? - Bruno lamented.

- I need to take a shower and sleep... Tomorrow is work day again. And it's no use that you won't convince me to sleep with you.

Cassiane said, dancing to the door.

- Cassi? – called Bruno.

Cassiane came back and stuck her head in the doorway:

- Speak, my dear.

- Don't talk to Mom about it... Let me talk to her... My way.

- You know I would never do that, although I still think you're crazy.

She laughed and closed the door.

Bruna put the terry robe she loved so much over her short pajamas and went to Angela's room, as she did every night. He knocked lightly on the door.

- Come in, Bruno.

Bruna turned on the light switch next to the door, looking at her mother lying in the middle of the bed, covered by a soft duvet.

- I know you even by the way you knock on the door. Angela confessed. – Have you come to say good night?

- Well... That and a few other things.

- I'm all ears ... Just talk.

Bruna sat on her mother's bed and started talking about her feelings and plans, at first a little shy, but when she realized it, she was dreaming big, telling Angela every detail. Angela's opinion was what she already imagined:

- I will always want you to be happy, Bruna. If marrying Adrian is what will bring you this happiness, I will support you without a second thought.

- I knew you'd say that, Mom. I'll talk to him today. – she said happily.

- Today? But is it already that late? Will you dream until then?

- Of course not... I'll call.

- Bruna, this is so serious to talk on the phone. I think you should wait and speak in person.

- We talk everything over the phone, Mom. Adrian won't mind if it goes this way.

- If you say... All right.

Angela hugged Bruna and then spent some time looking into her daughter's eyes.

- Why are you looking at me like that, Mom? asked Bruno.

- How you remind me of your father. - she said.

- I like it as much as you tell me that, Mom.

- Not just physically. He was just like you... When he decided on something, nothing made him change his mind. He also believed a lot in the family, in love forever... - Angela said, losing her gaze at nothing.

- And you were very happy while you lived together, Mom.

- How I would like to believe that... But happiness is not eternal, my daughter. If so, I would be with him today... - she lamented .

- They were happy until death do them part, as they swore in front of the priest when they were married.

- Surely he died certain that he was happy... But what about me? How is it who survives? Can you explain this, Bruno?

- Mom, what matters is that the time you spent together was good for both of you. You loved each other very much and were happy. That's what matters. You've never forgotten him and I'm sure he's watching over us from somewhere and helping you win every day. He blessed us to live without him, trying to be happy every day. And we will never forget him... But we knew how to remake our lives without him... Thanks to you, my mother.

- I remember him saying that we were the three women in his life... And he didn't even see everything we did without him...

- And we will always be the women in his life, Mom.

- The amazing thing is that after so many years I still love him, as if it were today. I will never forget it.

- You shouldn't, Mom. But don't think I haven't asked myself so many times why he was taken from us...

- It could have been worse, Bruna. We could have died with him, my daughter. But God was so good that he left you alive for me . That's why I always thank you for you, my daughter, my little miracle.

- I would love to remember him ... Cassiane must have memories.

- She was so little when he left... I don't think he remembers very well either.

- She never really likes to talk to me about it.

- Cassi always tries to protect you, Bruna. And I think she will forever. She just wants to make you happy and not mess with bad memories.

- I would very much like to have known him.

- And he would be immensely happy to see how beautiful and intelligent his daughters have become.

- I love you Mommy.

- I love more...

- Goodnight. – Bruna said giving her mother a kiss.

She turned off the light, closed the door and went back to her room. He took out his cell phone and called Adrian's landline. She imagined that at that moment he would not be near the cell phone.

- Good night, Miss Juju. Has Adrian arrived yet?

- Sure dear ... He's having dinner. Wait a minute and I'll call you.

Bruna waited until she heard Adrian's voice on the other end of the line:

- My love, how much I miss you . - he said.

- Sorry to interrupt your dinner. - she said.

- I would call as soon as I went to my room.

- How was the game?

- You know that nothing makes sense without your presence.

- Do not play. – she scoffed.

- You know I love you. – he said laughing.

- I think it's really good. she joked. "Then you will fulfill a wish of mine.

- Of course, my love... Anything.

Bruna was happy that the conversation took the direction she wanted. In a joke I wouldn't take the serious tone of a wedding.

- Marry me. - she said.

He laughed and said:

- I'm gonna marry you.

- When? she asked.

- Is next week good for you? – he said jokingly.

- It's great for me.

He was still laughing nonstop and she could tell he wasn't taking it seriously.

- Adrian, I'm not kidding. she said seriously.

- Bruna...

- Adrian, I think we need to talk about this.

- Bruna, we've talked about it several times and we've already made our decision, together.

- I want to resume this matter and review our decision. - she said.

- Tomorrow I'll pick you up so we can have lunch together at college and we'll talk better.

- All right, I'll wait .

- Bruna?

- Say...

- Are you serious? he asked.

- We'll talk tomorrow, Adrian.

- See you tomorrow.

- See you tomorrow.

Bruna could still hear Adrian's voice echoing in her mind. She was a little sorry she'd started that phone conversation. It was something I should have done in person, seen his reaction. He went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth. He looked at himself in the mirror.

She was thin, as always, and she hated the bones in her skin. I ate very well, but never gained weight. The blue eyes seemed to get brighter as time went on. The straight blond hair was down the middle of her back. She hadn't cut since coming out of one of the treatments. She had promised herself that she would try to find more time to dedicate herself to the golden threads that she had never cared about.

And I was really trying to hydrate, cut the ends and keep them silky , in no way reminiscent of what they were in the past. She opened the cabinet and took out the various pill bottles and together them all in her right hand, swallowing in one go. The habit of taking a sip of water from the sink faucet didn't change, despite Angela's various recommendations and curses. She took the 10+ metal bracelets from her right hand and placed them on the counter.

Then the wide leather strap that covered the other wrist. He looked at the visible marks on the pale arms. He was not proud of having tried one day to take his own life. But he also knew that what hurt the most was the pain he had caused his mother and sister and not the fact that he had tried to take his own life. Little was said about it in the house.

Angela and Cassiane tried every way they could to make her forget that painful past for everyone. But the medications and the weekly appointments always reminded her. She already went to the doctors alone and although she was sick of the same consultations, she continued with the treatment, because she knew that Angela would never let her stop seeing her. But she was sure that she was fine and that she would not try to take her own life again.

Today she was happy with Adrian and satisfied with her life. That emptiness she felt and the feeling that something was missing was perhaps part of life. That's why she thought getting married could fulfill what she felt. Children would fill every empty space there was to think about anything. The doctors themselves had already said that she was fine. But maybe therapy was forever. Adrian completely changed his life.

He gave you the strength to go on, with his joy and willingness. She talked to him about all her feelings, so he knew that she should also tell him about her desire to anticipate life together. And just like that, looking up at the white ceiling and thinking about Adrian, she fell asleep.

Bruna woke up when the clock woke up for the third time, as it always did. She ran out of bed, took a quick shower, dressed in jeans and a white blouse and sneakers of the same color, grabbed her purse and ran out.

She returned to tie her hair in a ponytail. When he arrived in the kitchen Angela had her cup of coffee and a sandwich ready for her. Cassiane was on her way out too.

- Mom, you saved me. I was late again. - she said.

- And that doesn't happen every day? – Cassiane laughed picking up her bag and kissing her mother.

Bruna laughed. There was no way to discuss a truth like that. Cassiane gave him a smacking kiss on the forehead:

- Sleep well?

- If I say I wouldn't be lying... But I had a strange dream...

-You and Adrian getting married on a desert island? she asked laughing.

Bruno became serious. He hadn't given any importance to the dream, but at that moment, as he was about to tell it, it sounded a little strange to him:

- Can you believe I dreamed of a man I've never seen in my life?

- I believe... Dreams are dreams. - Cassian left.

- Mom, I also need to go. When you leave, you can leave the dishes and I'll wash everything when I arrive, I promise. – said Bruno.

- I'm going to work later today... Don't worry. I don't like that you always do everything in a hurry...

- It's okay, Mom... I think I'm eternally lazy.

- And... About your dream? How are you?

- Yeah, all right. I just thought it was weird. If I close my eyes, I see his image.

- Was it cute at least? - Angela laughed. "You said dream, not nightmare..."

Bruna laughed:

- Yes, he was handsome I think...

- Adrian, take care of yourself in your dreams... - Angela said laughing and giving Bruna a kiss, who left in a hurry.

When she walked out the door she looked at her wrists and saw she'd forgotten about her bracelets. He ran up the stairs and put them all back on his wrists. Okay, now I could go.

She was late to college, as usual. She sat next to Patricio, as she always did. He was very smart and helped her with almost everything that was proposed in class.

Sitting there, she looked at the teacher talking, but could barely pay attention or concentrate. She was always like that: she thought too much and all the time. And often I couldn't pay attention to what was happening in the moment. As she dangled the pen in her hand, she stopped, a little embarrassed, listening to the clatter of her own bracelets echoing in the room. And that was every day that college life. She wasn't even sure she wanted to do business administration. In fact, she didn't even know if she wanted to go to college, but Angela didn't give her the option to stay at home, so she was forced to choose a course to take. In fact, she just wanted to be with Adrian all the time.

- Bruna? How are you?

She looked at Patrick:

- What is it?

- Nothing... It's just that I've been calling you for some time and you don't answer me... - He said confused.

- Sorry... I didn't even notice. I think I was far. - she said smiling.

When she turned to Patricio, her eyes met Catita's, who was watching her intently.

- But what did you want, anyway? she asked.

- Will you meet Adrian today?

- Yes, we agreed to have lunch together.

- I would like you to tell him to come to my house tonight. I have some new games he's going to like.

She made a face of fake irritation:

- All right, let me know if I remember.

He laughed:

- This is the problem. You never remember to give my messages.

- I 'm sorry, Patricio... But I really forget. When we meet, we have so many things to talk about whenever I end up forgetting the messages. But I promise this time it will be different... He will enjoy the games. – she said, pinching her eye.

He laughed, certain that Bruna would not give the message to her friend.

The break time soon arrived. She went to the cafeteria to get some juice, as she was already hungry again. When he entered, he saw Catita and Maiquel sitting, having lunch. She pretended not to see them, grabbed her juice and headed out the other door so she wouldn't be noticed. Bruna couldn't stand Catita, but she pretended that everything was fine between the two of them. Maiquel was her best friend and faithful squire, so Bruna didn't like him either. As she tried to cut a path, Maiquel called out to her. She tried to pretend not to hear, but Patricio insisted on saying:

- Maiquel is calling you.

- Serious? I didn't even listen. she lied.

She went to them and Patricio accompanied her.

- Called me? she asked with the juice in her hand.

- Yes... I wanted to see if you'd like to keep us company. There's room for everyone here. - he said.

-I'm in a bit of a hurry... I have a test later and I need to study a little more during the break. she lied.

- I doubt you need to study... You always get good grades. he observed.

She looked at her watch:

- It's really not going to work today...

- Are you and Adrian going to see each other today? he asked.

- Yes, why? she asked suspiciously.

- If he didn't come I would invite her to have lunch together. - he said.

- But he comes...

- He went to the game yesterday. - said Catita ironically.

- Yes I know. He invited me, but I hate football.

- Yesterday the game was incredibly perfect. I bet you would love it. she said.

- You went? – Bruna asked incredulously.

- Of course... The boys know I'm crazy about football.

- I promise that next time I will. – Bruna said, trying not to show the anger she felt.

- Your boyfriend was very excited.

- Maybe, he loves watching the games in the stadium, doesn't he? Especially if his team wins. – she ventured without really knowing the outcome of the game.

- Yes, he was always a football lover... And other good things. she observed.

Bruna felt the glass tremble under her fingers. He took a deep breath and said:

- Yes really. But I'm really in a hurry, folks. Another time we talk better. - She said leaving without explanations.

Catita was stunning, as always. She was dark, with straight hair and large, bright green eyes. The skin always looked like it had just come off the beach. She had a rounded body, full breasts always shown in plunging necklines and impeccable makeup every day. She smelled of sensuality. Bruna could not deny the beauty of her fiancé's ex-girlfriend, although she found her a common type to find anywhere. And what irritated him the most about Catita was the confidence and security she had.

The rest of the morning took a while to pass. Bruna knew it was like that whenever she would see Adrian. She was homesick, but dreaded the meeting between the two due to the matter she wanted to discuss with him. The longing was mixed with nervousness. It was easier to talk on the phone than in person, but he would face it. She laughed at herself and her crazy thoughts. I wasn't going to propose anything bad... It was just a marriage proposal. I knew they had plans for that, so it was just a matter of advancing what was already agreed.

When she was near the main gate she saw Catita and started to walk a little faster to pass her. She insisted on being seen with Adrian by the girl. He was there, leaning against the gate, in his pale blue jeans and a yellow shirt that she loved. Her heart melted when she saw him like that, trying to look more casual. When he saw her he didn't stop and went to her, hugging her tightly and giving her a long kiss. They didn't even mind interrupting the others. It took a while for him to let go.

- I missed you? asked Adrian.

- Yes always. she replied.

- Then let's get out of here. - He said taking her by the hand and leaving quickly.

Maiquel called him.

- Shall we pretend we didn't hear? she proposed.

- I can't do this... He's my friend.

Adrian stopped and stood with a smile on his face at the gate waiting for Maiquel and Catita.

- Glad I found you. – Maiquel said, giving his friend a hug.

Catita was not content without physical contact and kissed him twice on the cheek. Involuntarily Bruna tightened her grip on his hand when she touched him.

- Catita is having a party at her house this weekend. We decided today, when we found out that her elders are going away. We can count on you two, can't we? – said Maiquel.

- Of course, if the invitation is for both of us, we can think. replied Bruno.

Catita laughed and shook her head and Bruna realized she was making a fool of herself. How could that woman irritate her so much? Control your jealousy... That's what the therapist said. But when Bruna was close to Catita, controlling her feelings was very difficult.

- Will you have lunch? – Maiquel asked, trying to ignore Bruna's previous comment.

- Yea. - said Adrian.

- Do you want to go with them, Catita? asked Maiquel.

Bruno was incredulous. It was impossible to take a deep breath and bear it. She hadn't seen her fiancé in days, all she wanted was to enjoy a moment with him and tell him everything that was planned. It was an important day for her, as they would have a definitive conversation about marriage. And no... She wouldn't have lunch with their two friends together. She let go of Adrian's hand and walked quickly, not looking back. She was angry and feeling angry. But she still walked to his car, as she was sure he would come after her. She crossed her arms and stood there until he arrived. He opened the door and sat in the car, saying nothing. She sat beside him. He didn't start the car... He took a deep breath and said:

- Why did you do that, Bruna?

- Why did I do this? - she said altered. – Why did 'you' do that... I said to pretend I wasn't listening to them. But no... You had to listen to what he had to say... Wasn't it enough to have been with them all night before and still want to get together for lunch instead of just being with me? Is this serious? I'm tired of these two chasing me around, forcing a friendship that doesn't exist between me and them. I can't stand Catita. I try to be tolerant, not to make a scene, but I confess that it is very difficult. It seems to me that they try to test me all the time. They certainly don't know how much medication I take a day and that I can put up with a lot.

- Are you really capable of putting up with it, Bruna? he asked seriously. "It was just an invitation to have lunch together, nothing more. Maybe they didn't even really want to have lunch with us, but the way you treat them makes them do it. They are my friends.

- Then date them and forget about me.

- Don't be so jealous , my love.

- It's not jealousy. I feel like they're always trying to be among us. And Catita is a constant threat.

- Bruna, you know I love you. He took her chin in his hands and looked into her eyes. - Catita means nothing to me. I never loved her .

When Bruna looked into the eyes, she saw other eyes, as if they weren't his own. the green eyes gave way to light brown eyes, almost honey tone. She blinked several times, trying to get rid of what she saw.

- Is everything okay, Bruno? he asked.

- Yeah... All right.

- You looked at me in a strange way all of a sudden... - he said confused.

- It's okay, Adrian... I'm just... I'm upset. And I know Catita still has feelings for you.

- I'm sure she doesn't like me except as a friend, dear. He does this just to annoy you sometimes.

- And why does she insist on irritating me, Adrian?

- I don't think she does it out of spite... It's just a joke. They are like...

- Adrian, I fear that the day will come when you will have to choose between me or your friends... Unfortunately. I no longer want to share it with anyone. I want to be loved completely, you know? I want to love completely...

- You are completely loved by me, Bruna. And I really hope the day never comes when I have to make that choice...

- Why do you have doubts about what you would choose? Would you choose them ?

- I couldn't live without either of them. – he said seriously.

- You will not marry them. she shouted.

- I don't want to marry them... Not even you, damn it. He said in a louder voice than usual.

Bruna couldn't believe what she was hearing. She opened the car door and ran out, letting the tears roll down her cheeks. Adriana started the car and went after her, but she wasn't willing to listen or forgive him.

- I 'm sorry, my love. – he asked as he walked slowly with the car beside her. – I didn't mean to say that... It was without thinking... I didn't mean it.

- I don't want to hear anything you have to say. Forget me and it's all over between us.

She got even angrier when she saw him put on his sunglasses and laugh at her attitude.

- I love you, Bruna and you know it. It was not my intention to hurt you.

Bruna saw a bus coming and attacked it. When he stopped she went upstairs, not thinking twice, not even knowing where he was going. When she sat down, she pulled her sunglasses out of her bag so no one could see her tears. I could see that he was following the bus. When she got close to her house she didn't see his car anymore. She imagined he would come to her house to surprise her. So she didn't stop at the point. He only got off when the bus stopped at the end of the line. So she had to go down. He was in the central area of the city and decided that he would not go home because he did not want to meet Adrian at that moment. She looked at her watch and saw that it was after 1 pm. His stomach was asking for food. She had a routine appointment at the hospital at 4:30 and decided she would have lunch and hang around until it was time for her appointment. She was a little shaken by what she'd heard from Adrian. I really didn't expect that attitude from him. If he preferred his friends, she would leave him free to go with them as a bachelor. She would never look for him again, even though her heart was torn apart. After lunch she went to a store to look for some new bracelets, which she loved to buy, and then went for a walk in the park. She even had an ice cream by herself, which she hadn't done in a long time. Sitting, eating her ice cream on the bench, she opened the package with the new purchases and already put some on her wrist. She laughed. How much weight in the arms of such a thin girl. What a contrast of metal in the thin arms with clothes that are always basic. This was a frequent conversation in therapy: how long to hide the marks? Until when you think it's necessary... There's no time... You decide the time. These were the words of the therapist. She didn't know if there would ever be a time when she would feel free to show the world that she had tried to end her own life. He wasn't ashamed of the scars, but of what they brought back as memories.

She looked at her watch and realized she would have to almost run to get to the hospital in time . Late as usual, she thought. But when he arrived, they told him to wait that the doctor was late that day. She sat up and laughed to herself: yes, someone could be later than her. Your doctor.

She knew Adrian was no longer at her house. He would have gone to work by now. And he would certainly be very worried that she hadn't come back, after all, he didn't know about the appointment. As she stood there, wrapped in her thoughts, the door opened and the doctor shook hands with the stranger who was leaving. She got up, knowing she was next. When he turned around, she felt her heart stop beating and her legs nearly left her on the floor. It was him... the man from her dream the night before. Those light brown eyes, the color of honey... There was no mistaking it. And he was still sure it was his eyes he'd seen on Adrian during the car fight. A shiver ran through her body so much that she shivered. Their eyes met for a second, maybe two... But she knew it was him, even with the mask that covered his face, leaving only his eyes showing. He was very tall, thin, wore shorts. Who wore shorts to the hospital? She was confused. As he left, she noticed the slippers. She laughed to herself: flip-flops, shorts and a white T-shirt in the hospital. And he had long hair, past his shoulders, tied in an uncoordinated ponytail.

The doctor called her and she came in still confused and shocked by what she had seen .

- How are you doing? – he asked, sitting down and gesturing for her to do the same?

- Doctor, I think I'm going crazy for good. - She said smiling nervously.

Doctor Adam laughed. She felt very comfortable with him. They had known each other for many years and saw each other monthly.

- Why do you think that?

- Who is that man who left here? The one in shorts and flip-flops?

- Bruna, I can't talk about my patients.

- Would you believe me if I said that I dreamed of this man last night without ever having seen him in my life? This morning I talked about the crazy dream about a stranger coming out of nowhere. Then I come face to face with him here... Why does he wear a mask? Will I have to take more medication? Do you think I've gone crazy now?