My Werewolf Heartbeat

It was a sunday morning i and many other people will never forget. Though, for different reasons.

To most people, it was an amazing, beautiful day which was perfect for a wedding ceremony of two love birds.

To me, it was the worst day of my life.

I was in a well decorated room, with love shaped balloons everywhere. The room was rowdy and filled with ladies carrying happy and excited faces. They were all dressing and adorning me with expensive jeweleries made of several precious stones.

At last, when they were done with embellishing me, they all cheered and urged me to stand and display my beautiful wedding gown, expensive heel, and exorbitant jeweleries. Making comments like; "Give us a twirl, pretty."

"You look amazing". "You're such a beauty."

And so many other nice comments which didn't seem to lift my mood, but rather made me feel more miserable.

At my front was a seven foot mirror, which reflected me surrounded by at least twelve smiley ladies, most of them married and some divorced. As i stared at the mirror, i tried so much to see the radiating beauty that everyone saw in me, but i couldn't see anything else but a poor depressed frightened girl who will forever be haunted by her past and what the future held for her. The smile i wore on my face made me feel more pathetic, but i knew i had to put it on now more than ever, by the way, my life depended on it. It was a smile i had worn all my life and now had to wear for the rest of my life.

I stood there, staring at the tortured image at my front, and i lost awareness of time.

When i finally regained consciousness, i found myself alone, still standing helplessly at the front of the mirror.

I felt gummed to the spot and was forced to look at my devastated image. Although, it was sunny outside and the temperature was a steady twenty eight degrees, I felt as cold as ice. My teeth were clattering and my entire body was trembling badly. I struggled so much to keep my eyes open, but they were just too heavy for me to open.

Despite my struggle, my eyelids shut themselves and left me in a familiar darkness. After a few seconds, warm tears escaped through my shut lids and fell all the way down to the floor.

I whimpered and cried silently for a few minutes, until my body sensed the presence of someone else. Someone who made my heart beat again, a person who was capable of bringing light to my darkness. I felt him around me. His presence intoxicated me. I could feel his hands on my shoulder and his fingers slowly trailing my body, leaving electric sparks. It moved from my shoulder down to my hands and then his firm hands gripped mine. My tears stopped and a soft smile appeared on my face.

I fell back and rested on his muscular chest, a place which i had felt at home so many times.

The heaviness in my eyelids disappeared and i slowly opened my eyes, only to see the opposite of what i had felt. IT WAS THE DEVIL HIMSELF. He smiled at me and said softly to me, "Who were you thinking of, bitch?"

I immediately lifted myself from his chest, and felt the worst kind of irritation. He was the exact opposite of who i had lost.

"Answer me!!!" He yelled.

I looked directly into his eyes and said "I was thinking of a person you can never dream of being, Bastard."

He slapped me hard on my face and i staggered until i was resting on the mirror. He walked to me and forcefully tried to kiss me but i bit his lower lip until it began to bleed, he retreated and winced in pain, as blood flowed from his lip. He cleaned the blood with his fingers and glared at me, his face red with fury, "Bitch!!!" He stormed towards me ready to pounce but before he could touch me, his mother had walked into the room and yelled, "Stop!!!"

He stood there for some seconds, with his fist up and directed at me, until his mom pleaded on my behalf.

At last, he dropped his fist and dashed out of the room, kicking several balloons away.

Both i and Mrs. Lockwood watched him walk out of the room, before we took in deep relieving breaths.

After, Mrs. Lockwood gave me a long look with disgust written all over her face.

I was about to explain what had happened but was shut up by a dirty slap which left me deaf for a few seconds, before i was able to hear the words Mrs. Lockwood mouth were making.

"...you slut. You truly have no shame, do you? After all we have done for you, you have no gratitude towards us. Whether you like it or not, you'll pay what you owe us by several means and this marriage is just the first of it."

She looked at me again for a while before she continued, "You see all the pretty jeweleries we adorned you with, all the diamond and gold on your dress, were bought by my son, and still you are not grateful. My husband was right about you. The truth is, even if you dress a pig with all the gold and diamond in this world and clothe it with the best dressings, a pig will always remain a pig." She held my face roughly with her sharp nails piercing my chin, "If you're still confused, let me elaborate what's going to happen henceforth. You belong to him, you're not just going to be his mate, you're going to be his property, you'll do whatever he wants you to do without any form of complaint, just like a furniture or machinery. Do cars complain of being driven too far or fast? Or do chairs complain on how many people sit on them? Be wise, Hillary, I don't need to tell you the consequences of your failure."

Those were the last words i heard from Mrs. Lockwood before she left the room.

I straightened my wedding dress, and to my own surprise, laughed out loud. From everything that had happened, i had found an escape from my nightmare. An escape to a place where i wouldn't be anyone's object or furniture, a place where i would wait for him, the light to my darkness, no matter how long.

I walked into an adjoining room, and shut the door. The room had an amazing view of the green fields and beautiful gardens. The room door which led to the sunny gardens was opened and the mild summer breeze blew the white curtains beautifully. I didn't bother to close the glass doors as i enjoyed the breeze.

I walked to a long table, which on it were drinks and a large beautifully decorated cake which had both my name and the Devil's name on it. I smashed the cake with my fist and pushed it off the table onto the hairy white rug. I picked up the little knife which was placed on a napkin near the area where the cake was once on.

I took in three deep breaths and whispered silently to myself. "I'll see you again, Dylan. Not here, but somewhere else." Those were the last words i said before i slammed the knife into my delicate and fragile skin. Then i fell to the ground, my blood staining the expensive rug.

I smiled until my eyelids began to close...and then i saw my heartbeat. He was just above me, his hands stained with my blood and his eyes wet with tears. I couldn't hear anything anymore but i read his lips. He was screaming my name and was shedding tears, that was the first time I saw him cry or display any form of weakness.

I watched him rip his cloth apart and apply pressure on my open flesh, which spiraled pain throughout my body. No one needed to tell me that i was bleeding badly, as my hair was soaked in my own blood.

As he lifted me up like a baby, i felt at home again. I felt peace and LOVE. Staring at his desperate figure, and feeling my unbearable pain, my mind went back to how i had met and lost the only good thing in my life.

ELEVEN MONTHS AGO

"Are you Hillary?"

I cleaned my teary eyes with the back of my palm, took in a deep breath, and turned around to see who it was.

Oh my! In front of me was a stunning beautiful girl, with ocean blue eyes and long curly blonde hair. She was obviously my age, but she looked way more–I wouldn't say beautiful but rather sophisticated than me.

Apparently she had noticed my teary face and my silence didn't help her feel comfortable. "I'm sorry for bothering you...I'm just going to sort it out myself..." She said.

"No worries, I'm fine...and yes, I'm Hillary. How may I help you?"

"Are you sure? It's nothing I can't handle." She said still feeling uncomfortable.

"I'm really fine. Ignore my face. So, what's the problem?"

"I heard you're the person hosting the party?"

"Yes, I am." I said. My mind began to twitch like a building having power issues. I hoped nothing had happened. My parents weren't even aware that I was hosting a party in the house. It wasn't my idea but that of my so-called friends, Janette and Clarissa. They persuaded me in setting up a house party and I had stupidly agreed. Though it wasn't like I had an option, it was Janette's 18th birthday and she couldn't celebrate it at her own house since her father was really sick and was stuck in a wheel chair at home.

"Well, there's a little problem." The blonde girl said.

From her countenance, it was obvious that the problem was far from little.

"What happened?" I asked nervously.

The sound of the loud music was still very audible from the woods where I had hidden. My hands began to quiver and my palms became sweaty. If anything happened, I'll have to take full responsibility for it. My stepfather, Steve Harrow would finally see a perfect reason to murder me. My mum would be totally disappointed and shocked, as I wasn't the party type. I never attended any parties apart from school parties, so me hosting a party at home would be a shocking surprise to my mum.

"I think it's better you see for yourself." She said.

"Fine." My mind went haywire. Something terrible must have happened.

She led the way as we walked through the dark woods. I had not gone too far into the woods, so we soon got back to the house.

The garden and walkway were filled with empty alcohol drinks and several trash I couldn't recognise.

We pushed our way through the jam-packed door and into my house.

The stench of alcohol and cigarette filled the living room.

The disco lights and the loud music made me dizzy and I was sure that I wouldn't make it through the living room without collapsing. The alcohol and dense air made me feel like vomiting.

She must have noticed my state as she grabbed my hand and led me through the living room and up the stairs.

We walked into my room, and she guided me to the toilet to vomit.

It took me some minutes to vomit the stench of alcohol off my mind and my system.

I was whimpering and shaking and mumbling curse words when I noticed her laughing. "What's making you laugh?" I asked, offended.

"Nothing," she managed to say, as she was almost choking with laughter. "You didn't even drink alcohol, yet you vomited your full guts out, which makes me wonder what would happen, if you had gotten drunk."

I don't know why her utterance annoyed me. It was patent that she meant it as a joke and her laughter served as evidence. Maybe, I was annoyed because she looked really pretty and classy, just like my fake friends Clarissa and Janette and all the other girls who made fun of me, the only difference being that she was way more beautiful than them, which made it even worse.

My mum had a funny saying about girls like that; 'The prettier and more dressed they are, the higher the tendency of them being bullying bitches.'

I stuck to that rule for almost all my life, until last two months when my mother shockingly told me to try to mix up with the others, to attempt to see if I could still be a normal kid. She more or less forced me to be friends with them. She said that she wanted to see if they'll like me or if I'll be interested in talking to them at all. She had suggested Janette and Clarissa,since they were the only two girls from my school who attended the old town church. Even though, they came once in every ten months, my mum still believed that for them to come to our church, whether it be because of their parents or not, they still had good in their heart. A good which could help her broken daughter.

Stupid, right? I know. But it didn't sound stupid to her. To her it was the perfect way to help me-like I needed any help.

To cut to the chase, her perfect plan hadn't worked as I still disliked them and all it did was increase my hatred for them. Now they were in my house, drinking, smoking, laughing, kissing, and doing other crazy things that normal people like them do, sending me away from my house, into the woods to face my nightmares all by myself.

I made up my mind that the girl standing behind me and watching me vomit was no different from the rest. By the way, she looked just like them, even better dressed and prettier than them. So, she must even be worse than the rest. She had to be.

I stood up and washed my face and mouth with water from the sink. From the mirror, I caught her staring at me, so I quickly looked away. She didn't have the mean, predator-like look which the other girls had whenever they saw me. She had a look of care on her face, like she really cared on how I was feeling. But, I cleared that out of my thoughts and concluded that I was just making it up and it could not have been genuine care. No one really cared about me, no one could ever genuinely care about me.

I turned around and faced her. Her glistening blue eyes fixed on me. I cleared my throat and asked in a firm voice, "So, what's it?"

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"What do you care?"

"Whatever, follow me." She said already feeling my negative energy.

We walked out of my room and towards my parents room. I felt like jumping out of my skin, as we arrived at my parents room door.

She opened the door and walked inside. I stood by the door frame with my mouth agape and eyes wide open. I couldn't believe my eyes.

It was Clarissa and Janette with a girl from school and two boys I couldn't identify. They were seated all over, on the bed and on the chairs in the room. Apart from some fallen pictures and the rumpled bed sheets, there was nothing physically wrong with the room, and it was the least of my problems at that time.

On the small coffee table was a powdered substance which Janette and one of the guys were sniffing from. Clarrisa was laughing hysterically and on her nose was also the same powdered substance which was also on the nostrils of the rest.

No one needed to tell me that the powdered substance was some kind of hard drug, as it stunk like something burning.

When they noticed my presence at the door, Clarissa laughed again and said to the rest, "Is there any of the good stuff remaining because it seems like our dearest friend, Hillary would need some."

Janette lifted her face from the pile of drugs on the table and stared at me. "Come right over, baby. The party just began. By the way, your house is lovely. You never told me you had such a massive house... not like I would have believed you."

Clarissa giggled. "Who will believe that a mansion like this would be built by the edge of the woods. Crazy right?"

My chest rose and fell as my body was crammed with fury. I stormed towards them and angrily wiped the powdered drugs off the table.

Janette stood up angrily in reaction to what I had done. She looked at me with her eyes burning with anger, but I wasn't having her crap that day. "You idiot, what did you just do?"

I stared back at her with my eyes flaring like fire. "Get out! Now!"

"Or what?" Clarrisa said as she rose up from the bed and moved towards me. "Are you going to beat us or kick us out? Don't you wanna be friends with us? Remember Hillary that we being friends with a loser like you is a favor which we gave to your mum, so don't mess it up."

I tried shutting their words from my head but the attempt was futile. They got to me again, but this time I didn't cry or run away, I transformed my pain into anger. "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!"

The two boys and the other girl had stood up and were about walking out but Janette stopped them. "Feel comfortable, by the way this is mommy's house too."

Clarissa said. "Yea, and it seems like mommy is way more nicer than you, Hillary."

I felt like grabbing Janette by the shoulder and hitting her face with my clenched fist, and that was what i was about to do when the pretty blonde girl came to my rescue.

She stepped in front of me and was now face to face with Janette. From the look on Janette's face, it was evident that she was intimidated.

She said in a soft but authoritative voice. "If she wants you to leave her house, I'll advise you to leave before things get messy."

"And who are you?" Clarissa asked.

"Someone who is ready to punch your stupidity out of you. I call it the deliverance method." She said.

Janette laughed frantically. "Fine, we'll leave, but remember, Hillary, she'll save you today but before tomorrow I bet she'll figure out that you're nothing but a dumb, stupid and worthless loser who has nothing to offer, and she'll will quit from being your shield, leaving you back with us...your true friends."

Janette walked out laughing and so did the rest. I collapsed on the bed and took in deep breaths.

She sat beside me. "Are they always that stupid?"

I laughed. "Yes, they are." I looked at her but immediately looked away when I saw her ocean blue eyes fixed on me. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For what you did earlier, standing up to them for me."

"Yea." She took in deep breaths. "I hate when people try to bully others. I have a history of my own."

I stared at her in disbelief as she now had her eyes on the floor. "I doubt that anyone can ever bully you."

"Why's that?" She said as her eyes met mine, I tried looking away but it was already too late.

"You look too confident and strong to ever get bullied."

She smiled. "I don't think that's why but you're right, I've never really been bullied but I know someone who was..." Her voice faded.

It was clear that the topic wasn't really a happy subject so I changed it. "Damn! I really have to get this place cleaned up." I said rising to my feet.

"Yea, you're right. Let me help." She also stood up.

"Thank you, you're so nice."

"Trust me, I'm not."

I chuckled. "OK. That's cool too." I stood up and began picking the pictures.

In a minute i was done setting the portraits rightly. I turned around and was startled by a tattoo which was at her back, it was exposed as she bent to arrange the sheets.

It was strange. It looked like a weird tattoo of a big dog eyes...no, a wolf's eye.

She stood up and turned around. "What the hell are you looking at, Hillary?"

I stood there frozen to the spot. There was something about her that changed. Her eyes didn't spark with friendliness anymore, rather they looked hard and stern. Her voice wasn't the soft confident voice but was strict and unfriendly.

I wondered why she took an offence in me looking at her tattoo. A tatoo which I thought was really cool. "Nothing." I uttered.

"You are a terrible liar, Hillary, and trust me you don't want to know what I do to humans who dare lie to me." She took a step closer to me and I simultaneously took a step backward. "Let the dumb cat out of the bag, Hillary."

The fact that she used the word 'humans' to address me made me more frightened. What did she mean by that? If she isn't human, then what is she, some kind of Godzilla? Whatever she was, I wasn't taking any chances, although my life was crap, I still wanted it.

I cleared my throat and happily let out the cat. "Well, I saw a tattoo of a..."

"Shut up!" She barked at me, making me jump in fright. "That's right shut up, Hillary. Now listen carefully, you didn't see anything like that, okay? You saw nothing."

I nodded my head frantically. "Yes, I swear i didn't see anything."

"That's better." She straightened her top and walked towards the door. She stopped at the door and turned around. "Hillary, if you ever say anything to anyone about me and the tattoo, YOU'RE DEAD."

That was the last thing she said before she walked away from the room.

I once again collapsed on the bed. For a brief moment, I had believed that we could have been friends, but again my mother's rule proved correct. The more pretty and better dressed girls, always turn out to be the worst bullying bitches.

I couldn't belief that she had threatened to kill me, the only people who have ever threatened me to such extent was my family.

I laid there on the bed with my eyes open until the party died down. From the wide beautiful window of my parents room, the sun slowly vanished and left the world dark. I was so interested with watching the light of the sun give in to darkness. I hated watching the sun set but i was still interested in watching it. I had this stupid idea in my head, which made me think that the sun setting to night is just like light surrendering to darkness, and like good surrendering to evil.

For like an hour and a half, I watched nature display its wonders, until I felt the creepy feeling of darkness around me. The monsters from my nightmares were already out and searching for me.

I stood up and reached out for the lamp switch and I flicked it on, the sight of light bringing me back from my delusions. My mind was still pondering on nature when I heard the landline phone ring loudly. I hurried out of the room and down the long spiral steps to the lounge where the phone was placed. I picked the call and asked who was on the line.

It was my mother. Her voice was quivering and it was obvious that she had been crying. She told me that they were close, and that she hoped I had made dinner because both she and Steve were starving. It was then it came to my mind that everywhere was a mess. I replied with a couple of yeses and okays before I dropped the phone.

My heart was in my mouth, as I knew that I'll be dead in less than an hour if Steve found out about the party.

Fortunately, I had prepared dinner-or something edible at least. In our family, dinner, breakfast and lunch had no difference, as long as they were edible, we were fine with it.

I knew that panic wouldn't lead me anywhere so I took in several deep breaths and began working like a Trojan.

To my own surprise, in less than five minutes I was done with the inside of the house, so I hurried outside. As I opened the front door, I was pushed back by the wind. It was going to rain really hard, might even turn out to be a storm.

The wind really helped in blowing away most of the trash outside, and lucky enough, most of the alcohols were in cans, which made it easier for the wild wind to blow away.

As I picked up some trash which couldn't be blown away, I heard a loud roar...more like a howl. It felt so close... almost like it was in the woods close to my house. I attempted running back into the house but I slipped on the wet grass, instantly dislocating my knee. I yelled in pain, as I couldn't move and was helplessly waiting for the beast in the woods to come and find me.

For the first time in my life, I wished for my parents to come back quickly, at least if they were around they could get the guns inside and if not kill the beast, they could at least scare it away.

But that wasn't the case, they weren't around the one and only time I needed them in my life. They just happened to be late.

The sounds of the beast became clearer and louder, until I saw something incredible before my eyes. It was a giant white wolf, with beautiful blue eyes.

But how could there be a wolf in the woods? I had grown up there my whole life and I hadn't seen any wild animals.

I slowly retreated, wincing in pain as the wolf came closer to me. I had an awkward feeling about the wolf... it was almost like I knew it. I had seen it before, so many times, I had experienced this moment before but I just couldn't remember. I was in this same stupid blue jacket and black pants and I had broken my knee, it was also raining, so I was able to anticipate every clap of thunder. This was a familiar experience which I had witnessed before...but when? Or rather, where?

It was a couple feet away from me, it's legs pounding on the short trimmed grasses.

It was now so close to me, that I could feel it's breathing on me. Both I and the wolf stayed like that for a few minutes which felt like a whole lifetime to me.

My quivering hands raised itself without me thinking about it and softly brushed the mane of the wolf.

Then, I experienced the impossible. My body was glowing and so was the wolf. The light which emanated from both our bodies became brighter but not hurtful to our eyes. I lost vision of everything except myself and the glowing wolf. Then, the light became brighter and brighter and so did our glow. I felt so excited like alI the adrenaline in my body were being pumped, i got more and more excited, and...I BLACKED OUT.

I struggled to open my eyes as bright headlights were beaming on me. It was still raining so my eyelashes were soaked with rain.

I heard a vehicle door open and I heard footsteps. Lo and behold, it was my stepfather, Steve. He stood right above me and watched me on the ground for a while before he said with his calm but wicked voice."So what are you doing outside, Hillary? Playing in the rain at your age?"

He bent and reached out to the collar of my jacket and violently raised me up to my feet. "Answer me, scumbag."

I tried to wriggle my way out of his tight hold but he was too strong for me. I finally gave in to tears, and cried out. "It's not what you think, something else happened?"

"You better have some good and believable story to tell me, if not, you're toast." He released his grip and pushed me down to the wet grass.

My mum hurried from the car and picked me up from the grass. She had some new bruises on her face and no one needed to tell me how she had gotten them. "Are you alright, honey?"

"Yes."

"Perfect. After your explanation to your father..."

"You mean Steve." I backfired. I never referred to Steve as my father. Although I didn't know who my real father was, i always imagined him as some superhero who must have loved and cherished me-unlike my mum and Steve.

"Whatever, Hill. I have some good news to break out to you."

She smiled and guided me back to the house. I wondered on how she could still manage to smile despite the level of suffering amd pain she received and rendered.

My mother wasn't as nice as she displayed herself to be. She was a cold-hearted demented person who had a crazy view of life, that was one reason why i never pitied her whenever she got beaten by Steve. She was just like him, an insane person.

The warmth of the house made me feel a lot better. Steve was in the dinning with a bottle of rum in his hand. My mum dragged me to the dinning, pulled out a seat and forcefully pushed me down to sit.

He turned around and gave me a deadly look with his eyes glaring. "What is your explanation, Hillary?"

I cleared my throat loudly and fabricated a lie. "After i had received mum's phonecall, i... I went to...my room to shut the windows because of the rain. As I was shutting it, my wrist watch got hooked by the window and as I attempted to free it, it fell off outside. So, I went outside with a torch to search for it."

"Okay, that makes sense, but... how does that explain why you were sleeping on the grass while it was raining."

I thought of how to continue my lies but nothing came into my mind. I knew that for Steve to believe me I had to tell him some part of the truth. Because if he found out about the party, I'm was sure that I wouldn't see another sunrise. "While I was still searching for the watch, I heard a howl in the woods, very close to me. I ran for the house but I dislocated my knee, so I couldn't walk...."

Wait, what! But how on earth was I able to walk back inside the house. I reached out to my left knee and to my surprise there was no dislocation or pain. I looked at them but it was obvious that they hadn't noticed that error in my story.

Steve looked at my mum then back to me. "Did the wolf get you?"

"Did it see you?" My mum said with her voice quivering.

The sudden fear in their faces was striking. "Yes, it saw me."

"What happened?" They both asked simultaneously.

"Nothing." I lied.

"What do you mean by nothing, did it just see you and leave you alone." Steve asked with frustration and fear written all over him.

"I don't know. I blacked out, and the next thing I saw was your vehicle headlights."

He stared at me for a long while and then turned around, went to the small cabinet which held many of our pictures then he angrily wiped them off the table. "Impossible, this can't be happening." He walked up the stairs, yelling curse words on no one in particular.

My mum was shaking and mumbling inaudible words.

"Mum, what's wrong?"

She didn't respond.

"Is everything alright?" I asked again but still got no response. "Mum, please talk to me, I..."

"Shut the fuck up!" She yelled. "You have no idea, do you?"

"No idea of what? Is it the wolf?"

She held her head with her two hands. "Too many questions, you ask way too many questions, Hill. Questions which I'll never answer, even if you put my neck on a goddamn blade."

I didn't get it, why were they behaving like this. "Mum.."

"Don't call me!! You are the one who called them, you want revenge, don't you?"

I didn't know what was she was talking about, what revenge was she talking about? For sure, i knew i couldn't tell them about what happened between the wolf and i, the strong connection we had, the fact that I had witnessed it before. They'll go gaga, if they ever found out.

"Did you see only one wolf or was it a pack?" My mum asked with fright in her voice.

"Just one."

"Did you...feel connected to it?" Steve said from the stair case with a shot gun in his hands.