My Substitute Wife

The 20th birthday party was themed "unicorn." Mr. Fanny invested much of his time and talent into it; food, games, guest reservation and red carpet were perfectly featured. He had set out a budget for a few families and friends that could fit into their swimming pool arena with enough room to walk around. Kate seemed to be missing in the crowd as families and friends were up her sleeves to exchange pleasantries and gifts.

Brian was late and he panted his way into the party; neighborhood security meeting he had with residents ate deep into his schedule, that he thought he wasn't going to make it- that would've been so feckless for a first impression, he had imagined. The moment he entered the ground he adjusted his hat, looked himself from head to toes as though he hadn't noticed them before now. His black jacket over polka-dotted sleeves and jeans spoke the language of a celebrity. His stare combed around for Kate, as he tried not to be fussed over his lateness. He glanced at his watch- they might have come to a close or about to- and all the fun dilated away with it.

"Oh gees, where's she?" he said in his head, seeing Kate in every girl that came in sight.

A touch came on his shoulder, as he swirled only to behold the face of his mother, protuberant with smiles, "Where've you been, baby boy?"

He was still on the lookout for Kate. "All over the world seeking for whom to devour," Brian replied, and she chuckled.

She handed him a flute of wine, waved at a greeter, and turned to Brian. "You've missed the fun parts of the party." She caught hold of his disturbed countenance and hardworking stare. "...Gift presentation, red carpet, and music."

"Who planned the party? All of that comes at the tail of the party. That's wag." He never had thought he would be calm without Kate being with him; locking eyes with her; and telling her he loved her so much that he could take her bullets.

"Let's have a seat over there," his mother said; she stared at a table with fewer guests.

"What's up, Brian," said a voice behind Brian.

And his heart was suffused with excitement; where've you been, my soul proof? He said in his head.

"Been a while," the voice sounded again.

As Brian turned around to behold his greeter, behold it was this neighborhood kid called Tony who stayed a few blocks from theirs. His countenance changed, his roving heart seized and his jaw pulled in disappointment.

He fought to say, "I'm good," and refocused his search for Kate. She had baulked him of catching fun at the party even discussion with anyone was indeed an issue.

"It feels good to be our guests tonight," that was a voice in the microphone and it was Mr. Fanny's. Kate was standing by; all smiles, glittering in her off-the-shoulder red prom dress. A batty, contagious smile possessed Brian- he had seen her. A world record was broken!

"Brian, where're you off to?" Tony asked, his looks running after Brian who gave him the cold shoulder, advancing to the front to see if he could lock eyes with her. He jostled his way through the attentive crowd and shot his stare as speeding light.

"Next is the game I entitled; a pick of love," Mr. Fanny's voice continued. It's an interesting piece I pulled through. My daughter's going to come forth and deep her hands into this basket to pick a paper. Anyone whose name is written on the paper will be with her till the end of the party." He smiled at Kate and said, "Let the game begin."

That was the moment Brian's heartbeat resumed like a ticking bomb.

Anyone whose name is written on the paper will be with her till the end of the party: it resounded in Brian's head and those words by Mr. Fanny weren't making him unflappable. He suffered the pains of a body whose soul was having a road walk. Pick any gender except a male, please, he said in his head, stroking his hair confusedly, his hostile looks questioning Kate if his name was in the basket, and was there any trick she could wave for his name to be picked so he could make her night blissful.

She had picked a paper, handed over to her father who opened the paper to announce the name. With bated breath Brian waited for the name to be pronounced. He shut his eyes and his heart did likewise. His knees were moving apart and his sniffing was as the snore of a speeding train. He could hear the bass beat of his heart; heaven was crumbling while he read the lips of Mr. Fanny make the pronouncement;

"On this paper is Tony Rightman. So who's Tony Rightman?" he asked yet further, his stare combing through the booing crowd.

Brian knew who it was but for the smiles on Kate's face he didn't know why.

Is she happy to be with another guy? He thought.

For the first time in his life, he saw himself orbiting in the middle of mocking planets as Tony ran to the podium to enjoy his offer.

On his way, Tony stopped by Brian and muttered, "A pick of love knows Tony. You left me at the front so be my spectator."

How did she know Tony? Are they having a thing prior to me? A catalog of words dazed in his head. He watched on; Tony and Kate stood sharing smiles, hand-in-hand and walking back to a love-bird seat set aside for the game. They were already bonding, catching feelings, Tony's lips moving and running like the urine of a new born baby, whispering stuff into her ears that left her blushing.

What the hell is he telling her now? Brian's thought fought within his head.

"Ladies and gentle men I present to you the latest couple," Mr. Fanny said, "Enjoy the rest of the night ladies and gentle men," he disappeared from the podium and Brian had disappeared earlier out of the sight of anybody, curled up in a sofa by the edge, entertained by couples dancing to the soft tune of the flutists. Being entertained was a struggle; he had suddenly mastered that art of disappointment. A lot paced through his mind; are we having a thing? Are we in the same box? I could be fooling myself, weaning on an unbalanced feeling for a girl that doesn't notice me, that sees nothing than a kid called Brian, even if she were to say what letters of alphabet stood for, she wouldn't say B was for Brian. Show me the girl in this hood that doesn't have a heart warmer? I am falling out of love.

Right then his hand nudged his flute of wine and it fell and dashed into a thousand pieces on the floor. He stooped to pick the shards of glass. As he did, it was as though he was gathering the broken part of his heart; he had not been visited with such emotional slash-and –burn in the shortest time of knowing Kate.

The party was winding to an end and guests were leaving than they came. Brian had this drag to go after Kate whom she perceived was in trouble – yes the hood at the moment was no soft pie to bite and the impossible crime hung around. Upon searching for Kate he bumped into his father.

"Oh dad I thought mom said you went to the golf," he said hastily, eyes scavenging for her.

"Sorry to disappoint you. I know you don't want me to be here, whipping boy," he said and let a laugh.

"Come on-"

His dad cut in, "You look restless."

Who wouldn't be, "Kate look what you made me do." he said in his head. "Not really just checking up some cake to scoop."

"Naughty you, I hope you came in your car. I am leaving with mom."

"God's night, daddy!" he wished him "I am good."

Brian started a search. He was everywhere for Kate, and Tony was out of sight. He followed his instinct to the pool, lobby and corridor. The search got on his nerves when he ran into some random lovers in the toilet, making love and moaning.

He was almost forced to start screaming her name.

Danger was lurking. He ran upstairs, into Kate's room; that piece was ghostly. And her studio was as void as an elephant's tusk.

The penthouse! Yes, the penthouse, his thought intuited. He heeded and pranced to the pent house; on his way were littered cloths and spilled wine.

"Kate!" he yelled and kicked down the door before him.

Tony was in the middle of squeezing out of his lingerie and Kate was stark naked, with legs carelessly thrown apart.

Worst days ahead...

"What the hell are you doing?" asked Brian as he squatted to Kate, swirled to Tony and sent him a dazing punch on the face that left him staggering.

Quickly like a bat from hell, Tony picked up his clothes and ran away.

"Oh laughing doll" he exclaimed as he put his ears to her chest, only to perceive the exudate of wine in her breath.

Tony had gotten her drunk or what; he thought.

He hastened into the bathroom, turned on the shower and returned to lift her. She had no pounds until now he tried lifting her into the bath. She had difficulty breathing, with a running temperature.

"What did he do to you?" he asked her, tapping her on the chin.

She coughed furiously upon being showered and repeatedly sneezed.

"Kate, Kate," Brian called, scared about the shower putting life into her or exacerbating the whole thing. A slight tap on the cheeks, her eyes rolled with the interest of closing back soon.

"I am the one, Brian, wakeup," he assured her and tried focusing her face in the shower and she scowled, tossing her face in disapproval.

Next was a furious throw-up from his victim which arrived like ancient Chinese soup on his face. "Shit, shit, oh my God," he lamented, cursed and ran his face in the shower.

It was no longer safe; he undressed himself and showered too. Later he washed Kate twice more, dressed her in her nightie and led her to bed. The offensive odor of alcohol still hung over his face. He returned to the shower washed himself and sprayed a heady perfume in her room.

Tap, tap tap: that was the footsteps of a walker close by. He wouldn't want to be seen. His eyes sensed for escape or hideout. Thought of the back door struck in his head right on time. He used it and stuck behind it as breeze. Through the pinhole he could see the walker; the walker opened the door;

"Uh oh, she's asleep," said the walker and turned off the lantern before shutting the door. The walker was Mrs. Fanny. Brian agreed with his thought it was now safe to part before he freed from his hideout and sneaked out through the rear window.

The days ahead troubled his head with thoughts of Kate; his feelings for her and what on earth would make Tony come up with such guts to sleep with her, and whether he would ever make his feelings known to Kate. Would he compromise his introvert feelings because of her? Countless times Tony had phoned him to meet him at a joint and iron out their differences but he declined. Avoiding Tony was a bite that would stick to him for life. When Tony noticed he was giving him the cold shoulder, he opted for messages. The other night he sent him a message;

Stuff doesn't just happen. Hear me out.

The day before he sent another; you really need to know this.

The latter plucked Brain's heart and finally he wired him a call to meet at a joint.

When Tony showed up, he was in the company of two hostile buddies, who waited for him resting on his Chevrolet sports car. Brian recognized the two buddies. The history of neighborhood theft had their names as suspects, but that aside now. Nothing in the world seemed more important than Kate, and falling out of love was a worse crime than neighborhood theft.

Expectantly they sat to a table with no orders placed. "Thank you for your time, Brian," remarked Tony.

"And those two buddies with you? Are you scared I'm going to have a bullet pass through your heart?"

"Many heroes of love have done worse," Tony replied, embattled with locking eyes with Brian.

"And when there are two heroes? I owe you no apologies for the punch," added Brian when he saw a patch of the black eyes barely covered by the sunshades on Tony's face.

"Anybody would do the same if the girl is officially his. Kate is my girl."

Questioning his claim, Brian's face looked daggers at Tony.

Tony fought back his laugh and tried to smile. "We aren't dragging over a piece of love, dude. I believe you're always with her, try to find out how far we've come. I fell in love with her before the creation of the letter B in your name. I am too gentle to make love with a drunken girl."

"I don't know if she's your girl or not but I'm not in love with her either."

Tony raised a brow.

Brian implied, "Yeah, fall off my actions. I punched you with the intent of saving an innocent friend about to be raped."

He chuckled, "Every kid in this hood knows my head is up for Kate so why would I rape her. My parents raised me to use my penis responsibly like alcohol. The same penis that deflowered her wouldn't rape her," he smiled and added, "Do you understand me"

Brian stood up and Tony stood up too. "I got to go. Put me in the list of kids that know you're seeing Kate. Accept my apologies for the punch. But when next you want your girl remember to shut the door and let her enjoy it in clear head."

Tony stroked his dreadlocks, smacked his lips sensually. "Thanks, love master," he said, "For the records that night I saw maddening feelings and love in that punch but if you say you're not in love good riddance. You can still be her friend. And there's a lot you need to know about her. Let that be your food for thought, Brian," he added and had a walk.

It was when he had a walk that he noticed the tattoo on his left neck; it was a dragon with Kate scribbled on it.

At home Brian pulled a wry face at every one. When his father noticed it, he asked, "What's up with you, boy?"

He tried to let a smile but thought heaved on it. He had fallen for Kate but letting it known was a tug of war, sharing a girl with a crazy guy as Tony was a worse war. He thought Kate was a cool headed chic that wouldn't have anything to do with Tony of this world. She was the girl of his dreams She had always cultured in him the vibration of electricity in water whenever he set his eyes upon her. Night and day the only rhythm that played in his head was Kate-blues. He felt Tony was either lying or saying the truth and why didn't he throw a fist when he punched him that night.

And there's a lot you need to know about her; Tony's words resounded in his head.

"I am good, dad, just a rough day."

"I know, but you can always wind off at the golf, I see plenty of kids there, even Kate, always on and on.

"Does she play?" he asked.

"Em, no she's a spectator. I believe she too has a lot in head to wind off and seeing golf is a welcomed spree. Son, you know the world is always hot for our heads. We always get to cool off."

Brian winked, "I don't like golf but I think I'm beginning to love it."

He ran upstairs, into his room and looked out through the window, a lot paced through his mind- his meeting Kate, the night he punched Tony and washed a girl for the first time in his life; how soft and feline her body was, her spotless breasts, firm buttocks and the fear that warned him when he washed down to her hairless vagina line; it was the magic of washing a baby girl who wet herself, unaware of her dependency on a strange person for survival.

A Chevrolet was looming on. He kept his gaze until it drove to eyes reach. It was Tony and his cronies and Kate was the only girl in the company.

Brian's jaw dropped in anger, as his face grinned, recalling Tony's words - And there's a lot you need to know about her...

Something spiteful was about to happen ...

Brian visited the golf and met Kate there. Before walking up to her, he made sure Tony and his Chevrolet weren't anywhere around. He took from the popcorn she was eating and she gave a deep smile, picked some pop and fed him; Brian made heaven.

"I am not happy with you," she quarreled and dragged a frown. "You didn't honor my party and I sent you a message to buzz me when you come around, and you never did."

"You sent me a message?" asked Brian, amazed.

"Yes I did or didn't your dad tell you?"

"Trust me he didn't," said Brian and he saw his father at once, alighting from his car.

Kate caught sight of him too, "Oh talk of the devil. You can go right away and ask him."

Brian breathed hard, coughed, and sniffed. He didn't want his father to see him with Kate or any girl or know of his feelings for her even he didn't want anyone to know

"Em can we tuck away, I mean out of prying eyes?"

She added, "You mean your father? Don't you want him to see us?"

"Yes that's it. Seeing him, I might get mad at him," he lied.

"In your car?" she asked.

"Yes, my car then."

In the car, Brian stole a glance at her thighs when she stretched away from the dashboard and replay of that night became clearer in his head. The whole of Kate hung across his mind, her vagina and how lustful thought of eating her out and making engaging love to her had troubled him; how he had snapped out of such thought and washed her in the shower.

"Can I ask you a question?" asked Brian and he caught her blushing. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Em," she stuttered and gazed upon a butterfly hovering on the wind screen. She wished she were the butterfly and she would have flown away and disappeared out of his presence. "Yes, strange boyfriend, '' she added, "I can't define what we're right now though."

"Strange?"

She shook her head in confirmation that Tony had been loving her in the craziest of ways that she once took to be the best but now she had discovered herself and her new feeling for love- she saw a whole lot in Tony and a thing in Brian – and that's true love- something more than essence. Although she was yet to understand what true love meant- all along she thought true love meant exploring different angles of sex positions, calling your lover every now and then to know even the color of his urine – so had it been between them. Alas if time permitted and if they would last she might understand true love with Brian and bond till eternity. She wouldn't want to host a war between both guys and take credit for being a hot pant with red hibiscus on her shoulders. She would stick around Brian and flirt with Tony until her discovery was achieved and if a war ensued, she would decide the boy to rock her cradle and captain her ship.

Night had fallen when she got home and when Brian dropped her, waving her bye and charming into her with those stares she pinned to her stand, almost shutting her eyes and expecting a kiss from the coolest kid in the hood. But it happened in one swift move; he squeezed her fingers and wished her God dream. Suddenly she had felt horny for him for the first time in a rare odd hour with hopelessness assured.

When she got into her room, she rambled to the window and saw nothing like Brian then she sat down, undressed herself and beheld her nakedness in the mirror, her body was halved by Tony and Brian, with the latter masked in unclear shades. She snapped out of her imagination, touched her breasts and felt wet in her vagina. She reached to her phone and dialed Tony; an answering machine came through before she opted for a message; coast clear, come right away.

She lay in bed, staring into the ceiling thoughtfully and reaffirming Brian wouldn't know anything about this shade of hers. She wouldn't have issues with Brian and his gentleness; his keeping his kisses; she enjoyed his smartness and genius and the magical way he squeezed her fingers- that alone seduced her out of this world. Tony was dirty, heady, weird and mercilessly sensual. Even when she knew she needed just one of them she felt empty without either and greedy with both.

There was a knock on her window pane and she parted her thoughts at once. It was Tony, beaming at her and she sprinted, unlocked the window and ushered him in.

"I got coffee," she said, feeling he was staring at her buttocks which he had said severally was his food.

"Half a cup. I had heavy wine before coming down here."

"Did you come in your car?" asked Kate, offering him his demand.

"No, upon your last warning," he said.

"I know we don't want to arouse suspicion but I feel we could club tonight."

Tony sighed. "That's not in your message." He shrugged. "How is your baby boy doing?"

"Baby boy?"

"Brian," he emphasized and sipped his coffee.

"Who says he's my baby boy?"

She sat on his lap and he squeezed her buttocks, tickling her, "Sorry I lied about the black eyes. He actually did it.

"He?" she winked, "Who, Brian?"

"Yeah, the night of the party, he felt he was falling out of grace when you picked me. He attacked me with some street boys."

"He did this?" asked Kate," She was infuriated at the moment. Brian shouldn't have worn his gloves regardless of her choosing Tony. After all, it was a game of chance. Brian's name was in the basket too and would have probably won a chance.

She grinned, seeming something dawned on her, "I have been thinking lately what happened hours after us that night?"

Chuckling he brought his nose to her nipples. "We were drunk."

"No, I was drunk. I could remember asking you to lead me to my closet."

He lied, "I couldn't but led you to your momma and left afterwards." His hair being stroked by her fingers, he sucked her nipples and she let out a creaking moan. "Hold on," she held his hungry face, and tried to lock eyes with him. She had tried not to remain calm about it. They had made love in her drunken state and she had aborted countless pregnancies. "Did you fuck me that night?"

He shook his head and pushed her to the bed, opening her legs and her pink vagina flashed inviting his fingers. He breathed in the vagina and it smelled like the pebbles of the ocean.

"Tony," she called in breath, "My momma told me she walked in on me in bed, "So – she," she stuttered repeatedly upon feeling his ravaging lips on her clitoris. "She – she didn't take me to bed. If you fucked me tell me so I can meet with my gyno–" she wriggled her waist "Oh my gosh." She whispered, "You are there, T, uh." She made way for her devourer as she raised her legs at a height no hand could reach. His palms found those bust and held them captive with focus on her bulging nipples. She shut her eyes, pulled her bed spread, bit her lips, smacked them softly and struggled to groan her moan when he sucked on as a dog licking up stew. Finally she breathed expressly, opening her eyes, gazing upon Tony undoing his zipper and squeezing out of his shirt to pound her as she had always loved it.