My Only Boss

I was so in love with Thiago - with his way of walking and talking; his sweet and gentle voice. He was an elegant, polite gentleman, the man any woman dreams of having. Unexpectedly, I had met him while doing a photoshoot for one of my friends who works at his modeling agency. There, I learned that despite his arrogance, he would give work to anyone in need. It was only for that reason that he had taken pity on me. And even though I wasn't a professional photographer, he hired me whenever an opportunity arose.

I fell in love with his green eyes that sometimes looked at me with desire and sadness - a gaze that haunted me every night when I thought about my humble and hardworking situation and his life as a millionaire businessman; two worlds so unequal.

I, on the other hand, was a simple twenty-four-year-old woman with a desire to find a man to share my chaotic and unstable life. I had just finished my degree in Business Administration, but the only thing that truly interested me was photography. Though, as my mother would say, that wouldn't provide a livelihood - and she was right. However, what obligations did I have? None, just myself, and that wasn't too complicated. With photography, at least I could afford a pair of heels I liked, treat myself to an ice cream, or buy gas for my little red motorcycle and cruise around the city, hoping to catch a glimpse of Thiago driving his Ferrari. That's how simple my life was, just like me.

He, on the other hand, was a thirty-year-old man with a completely stable life, an arrogant and slender wife who manipulated him with her victim scenes to get the only thing that mattered to her: money. The Siluetas modeling agency was one of the most famous in the city. Thiago also harbored selfishness and pride. I'm not sure why those were the things that attracted me to him. What truly hurt was knowing he was married to a woman who didn't love him. I had realized that five months ago, when he attended one of the fashion shows. I noticed the disdain in her eyes - my father used to say love shows through the eyes, and she was showing love for money. In the photos I managed to take of them, Thiago looked discontent, with a stern expression and a forced smile. Hers was even more feigned. Thinking about that was incredibly draining. It was June, and the rain covered the white walls of my room with dampness. I saw that the clock was already at seven in the morning, and I hadn't managed to sleep well. But I had to go to the Women's Health Clinic to receive the results of a medical checkup I had done the previous week due to the ongoing abdominal pains I was experiencing.

I hurried to get ready and set off on my motorcycle. During the journey, I did nothing but look around, hoping to catch a glimpse of Thiago. I even decided to pass by the avenue where his agency was located. I stopped by the gates, and through the window, I saw him walking with his imposing arrogance, his shiny sneakers, and his perfectly matched gray coat. He was searching for a book in the huge library that occupied half of his large office. I removed my helmet for a better view, but in my distraction, it fell to the ground. The sound caught his attention, and he looked in my direction. He opened the window and stared at me.

-"What are you doing here, young lady?"- he said, furrowing his brow. At that moment, I felt like my heart was about to leap out of my chest. I looked at him with the eyes of a lamb, hoping for mercy. But my nervousness incapacitated me. I tried to put together the words to respond.

-"I wanted to know if there's any work for me,"- I replied, trying to avoid his gaze that tormented me, as he continued to look at me as if I were a strange creature.

-"When there is, we'll call you,"- he responded, his annoyed voice strangely tender. -"You're interrupting me. I have many matters to attend to, and I'm wasting my time,"- he added. My face turned red with embarrassment. I didn't know what else to say. My presence there was uncomfortable, but what made it worse was that he had caught me staring at him, utterly ridiculous. In truth, I wished the ground would swallow me.

I turned away without looking at him. I only heard the sound of the windows closing. Then I realized that people were watching me. Some of the employees had come out for lunch and had witnessed that pathetic moment. Their sardonic laughter felt like a wind pushing me toward my bike. I started it immediately and continued on my way, hating myself for going there. However, every ridicule had been worth it because my eyes had seen his eyes, and my ears had heard his wonderful voice. I couldn't bear that embarrassing moment alone, so I went to find my friend Laura. She accompanied me to the clinic. Along the way, we did nothing but laugh about what had happened - about Thiago's expression and my incompetence at spying on him. I felt foolish, like a love-struck teenager.

The laughter and the image of Thiago disappeared when a nurse approached me with the results.

-"Congratulations; you're pregnant,"- she said abruptly, as if it were something to be joyful about.

-"Pregnant?"- I asked, furrowing my brow.

-"Yes,"- she confirmed, surprised.

-"You're mistaken,"- I shouted. -"I haven't been in a relationship for six months."- "No!"- I cried, gripping my hair in anger. -"This can't be happening to me!"

I sat on the floor overwhelmed by the immense despair I felt. The nurse could only stare at me. Then I remembered that on the day of my appointment, the clinic had been crowded with patients, and the doctor I had agreed to see wasn't there. So, another doctor had attended to me.

-"This is a terrible mistake,"- I argued, with my voice breaking. Laura helped me up and gave me water to try to calm me down.

-"Repeat the tests,"- Laura demanded. Hearing her words, I felt my soul returning to my body. It must be just a mistake, I thought. I took a deep breath, telling myself that a child at this moment was far from pleasant. However, despite everything, the hope of someday falling in love with Thiago hadn't died within me.

The nurse led me to another room and took a blood sample to verify that result. She told me to wait for two hours. Physically, I didn't move from that waiting room, but mentally, I was wandering into a future that now seemed uncertain. Laura tried to console me, but I couldn't suppress the urge to cry. She knew that my main concern was becoming a woman who could match Thiago's stature, and an unexpected pregnancy would ruin any kind of plan I had. After some time, the woman appeared again.

-"You're pregnant due to In Vitro,"- she clarified. -"You came here for it."

-"No,"- I shouted again, grabbing the envelope with the result. -"I came for a general checkup because of abdominal pain,"- I clarified. -"This has to be a fatal mistake,"- I said, crying.

I demanded that they search for my file, and upon reviewing it, I realized that they had actually made a mistake due to a mix-up with the records. The nurse explained that on that day, due to internal problems at the clinic, she had accidentally switched records with another nurse, and all the files had gotten mixed up. In her haste, she didn't bother to double-check, and since the doctor was a substitute, he wasn't aware either. This only reinforced the one truth: I was pregnant due to In Vitro.

I felt my legs trembling, my heart pounding, and my head in a tumultuous turmoil where only the image of Thiago and me being pregnant crossed my mind. I did my best not to collapse and die right there. I didn't know how to react to such a tragedy, and neither did my friend. She just held me tightly as I touched my sweaty forehead. The nurse was trembling with fear too.

-"I'll have to report them,"- I said in a very low voice.

-"Let's go right now,"- Laura confirmed.

-"Ma'am, wait,"- I heard the nurse say, but I continued on my path. After all, there was nothing more I could do.

The sound of the motorcycle only reminded me of my tragedy. Laura didn't say anything. The silence, filled with noise, was terrifying. I didn't even dare to look at the street where the modeling agency was. I knew I was crying, and the wind covered my face, but I didn't feel it. It was like agonizing while knowing that death had already arrived. I was thinking about how I would explain this to my parents, even though they didn't even live with me, or simply where I would find the strength to face Thiago again.

I didn't have the strength to do anything. I just managed to get home, get into the bathtub, and cry bitterly while touching my belly, which would soon be swollen with a pregnancy I hadn't asked for. Laura continued to look at me in silence, sympathizing with my sorrow. Until that date, my only problem was knowing that Thiago was married - a matter that, according to my imagination, was solvable. But a baby? What do you do with a baby when you're only twenty-four years old and have a terribly chaotic life filled with dreams of love with a millionaire man?

-"You'll have to get an abortion,"- my friend muttered. I looked at her with a furrowed brow, my face covered in water and tears.

-"I couldn't do that."

-"Then what will you do? Will you let go of your dream of becoming a businesswoman and matching your boss's level?"

-"I won't be able to achieve that, pregnant or not. Thiago is impossible."

-"You know very well that he's not happy in his marriage, and sooner or later, that will end."

-"Yes, but that's not now, and right now, I'm pregnant with someone I don't even know and will never get to know."

-"So what, Lisa? You can't just disappear. We have to face the situation, and the only viable option is the one I've already mentioned."

-"I need to find out the name of the woman who requested the In Vitro,"- I explained. I didn't even know where that idea came from; it just came to me, and when I said it, everything seemed good.

-"And how does that help, silly? You'll have to carry that baby for nine months and give birth."

-"I'm not silly. I could get paid for renting out my womb, sue the clinic, and profit from this tragedy,"- I explained, very convinced. The distress seemed to ease.

Laura looked at me as if I were crazy, and I clarified, -"With that money, I could invest, and then I could fight for Thiago."- Laura fell silent. Though it seemed like a good idea, it was really uncertain. I just got dressed and had a coffee while continuing to think about what was to come. I saw Laura leave my house, worried and upset. I understood why she left; I couldn't even stand myself.

The rain continued to fall. I couldn't tolerate the loneliness in my house; the white walls reminded me of the clinic. An hour after my friend's departure, I had no other option but to leave and close the door behind me. I walked aimlessly in the rain, covered by water and pain. My steps led me to the Siluetas modeling agency. I arrived at the door, heard noises and sobbing. For a moment, fear didn't inhabit me, and I knocked on the door. Then everything fell silent. I insisted and knocked again.

-"Who's there?"- he asked, furious, with a strained voice. I knew it was Thiago, but his way of speaking worried me. I thought about the reasons that would make him stay there when it was already late and not a single worker's car was in sight.

-"Lisa,"- I answered fearlessly.

-"You again? What do you want, Lisa? I told you this morning I'd call you. There's no work for now,"- he responded, sounding frightened.

-"I know, I'm truly sorry. I just have nowhere else to go,"- I said, my voice trembling from the cold.

-"Home, you could go home,"- he shouted because the rain interrupted any silence.

I didn't reply. Minutes later, I heard his chair moving, and suddenly, he was in front of me. The man who drove me crazy, who was slipping through my fingers right now. He grabbed my arm tightly and pulled out a chair for me to sit on. In that gesture, my heart shrank.

-"I always knew you were a childish little girl,"- he laughed as he handed me a towel to dry myself. -"But I never thought you were a thoughtless little girl when it came to yourself."

-"I have only one problem,"- I said, drying my face.

-"We all have problems."

-"You don't, because you're a millionaire, the owner of the best modeling agency in the country, or the world."

-"No, Lisa, not everything in life is about money."

-"But you have it."

He looked at me and smiled. For a moment, I thought his arrogance didn't exist, until he continued.

-"It only takes intelligence to have it. Girls like you, who enjoy getting wet in the rain at night, will never have it,"- he joked.

-"I don't do it for fun,"- I clarified.

-"Then why are you here?"

-"I needed to see you, Thiago,"- I said without hesitation. He turned his back to me and stood in front of his computer, absorbed.

-"I'm married, Lisa,"- he muttered under his breath. -"With a woman who can't give me a child, so this agency, my Ferrari, and my money are worthless."

I looked at him completely stunned. Hearing him say that only reminded me of my growing belly.

-"And I'll be a mom by accident."

-"Certainly, wings are given to those who don't want to fly,"- he added remorsefully but with a smile. He looked up and saw me contentedly.

-"It was In Vitro,"- I said, and he interrupted.

-"In Vitro?"

-"It was a mistake at the clinic,"- I explained.

-"You should report them."

-"I spent all my savings on the Women's Health Clinic for a simple consultation that turned into this. It's prestigious, and I'll never win a lawsuit."

-"Yes, that's where the woman who was going to rent her womb for my child was. But we couldn't achieve fertilization,"- he explained. Many things passed through my mind at that moment, but I didn't specify them. I thought about suggesting that he adopt the child I was carrying in my womb, but I could only ask why he didn't do it naturally. He looked confused and laughed.

-"As I said, my wife doesn't want to ruin her body or go through what pregnancy entails, let alone giving birth."

-"She doesn't love you,"- I added as if he had asked me.

-"There are so many things you don't know about me, Lisa. Maybe you're right, but it's a long story."- he replied, annoyed, while arranging some papers. For a moment, I forgot we were talking about my pregnancy. I approached the desk and said,

-"I would give everything for you, but I don't have the appropriate status to even give you a kiss."

He grabbed me by the waist with a lot of anger, pulled me closer, and brought his face close to mine. My breath accelerated as I felt his hands on me, and I stared at his pink, full lips that tempted me to bite them. His hands encircled my body, and I felt his warmth. Desire and pity were in his gaze.

-"You're beautiful, Lisa, and that's enough. You're simple and tender, and that's enough,"- he said in a low voice. He pressed his lips to mine softly. I let myself go with his rhythm. He tasted my lower lip and then moved to the upper one. I felt my legs trembling, and my chest throbbed at an indescribable pace. His hands touched my back, reaching my hair. He held it tenderly. I closed my eyes, wishing that the moment would never end. I wrapped my arms around his neck and surrendered to that kiss, which felt like the first one. We kissed passionately and delicately. Slowly, he pulled away, looking at me as he sighed.

In response to that, I returned to reality. That kiss was just another trap for my increasingly unattainable illusion.

-"Why are you doing this to me, Thiago?"

-"Because ever since I saw you taking pictures of Laura with so much simplicity and enthusiasm, I knew you were charming, Lisa. And when you spoke to me with such humility and confidence, politely asking for a job and apologizing for coming to the agency without permission, you stuck in my heart. And that emotional state surprised me because you've seen that not just anyone pleases me. But Lisa, look at yourself; you're adorable,"- he commented in a low voice.

I looked at him in astonishment, touched my arm, thinking it was a dream, but he was still in front of me, with his eyes full of pity.

-"Life is just unfair, or rather, destiny is complicated."

He held my arm gently to prevent me from running away. -"Very unfair; I'm a man who doesn't know what to do with so much money, luxury, and fame. And you're a girl who's entangled in such a huge problem that's the solution I need in my life. But you're not the person who should fulfill that, nor am I the man you deserve in your life, Lisa. You have to leave. The rain has stopped, and we can't continue with this because it's pointless."

I didn't know how to respond. I grabbed my jacket and walked toward the door in silence. Before reaching it, I turned around, but he wasn't looking at me anymore; his eyes were fixed on the window of his office, his fists clenched, resting on his chin.

When I arrived home, I felt surrounded by loneliness and anguish. What had happened had caused even greater confusion. Nevertheless, in a certain way, I felt joy, as the conversation with Thiago had eased me. His kiss confirmed that I was truly deeply in love with him. But his words were like a sting, because the truth is that way, painful and cruel.

I lay down on the bed, and the only thing that went through my mind was the memory of his kiss. Something I would never forget, something that would remain etched in my life as the only symbol or prize. I was aware that belonging to Thiago's life was merely an illusion. Even though he had confessed that he was attracted to me, my mind kept shouting that it was all part of his game. And even if I wanted to fall for it, I couldn't anymore because pregnancy prevented me. Everything had been so magical that I didn't even think about reporting the Clinic. I instead embraced a state of resignation and surrendered to it, as there was no escape.

The ringtone of my cellphone snapped me back to reality. I wanted to believe it was Thiago, but in reality, it was just Laura, concerned about me.

- I kissed Thiago - I blurted out.

- Damn it! Don't start with jokes - she teased.

- He's attracted to me, he said so, but it doesn't matter anymore. I also told him that I'm pregnant.

- Fool! - Laura shouted - You shouldn't have done that. Your pregnancy isn't even noticeable, and you don't know if you might lose it or decide not to keep it after all.

- Don't mess with me, Laura! I'd rather die longing for Thiago than get rid of this child. Maybe it's the only thing that can save me from my terrible loneliness - I explained, as if I hadn't cursed the existence of the pregnancy just a moment ago.

- Well, it's a shame that it's happening right now and that you have to give up what you've dreamed of because of it - my friend said and hung up. I suppose she did it because my fatalism was becoming exhausting.

After the call, I only had the courage to curl up in bed, savoring the taste of Thiago's lips still on mine. A sensation brought about by the intense attraction I felt for him.

The next morning, I woke up hating the damn alarm. The pregnancy was starting to affect my physical state. I had a heaviness in my head and an insistent sleep that dominated me. I half-opened my eyes and saw a message on my cellphone. When I read Thiago's name in the notifications bar, sleep fled instantly.

- Come to the agency - the message ordered.

- Will you give me another kiss? - I asked curiously.

- Whatever you want, but come now - he replied.

In the bathroom, I washed my face to wake up completely.

- He's got me wrapped around his finger! Damn it! - I groaned, hating myself.

I dressed in the best clothes I had, although I knew they were insignificant to the millionaire. My simple makeup wouldn't impress him either. My face looked pale, and my eyes tired. The concealer didn't help much. For a moment, I felt defeated, but his last message kept me strong. I took my gray bag, arranged my cameras, and set out to find my motorbike.

- You can't ride the bike, Lisa, you're pregnant - I said to myself in complete frustration. Until a taxi passed by and took me to the agency.

- Good morning, Attorney Thiago - I greeted with a flirty smile as I entered the office. I felt his eyes on my unattractive silhouette. He looked me up and down, noticing my very dirty white Converse shoes and my worn-out leather jacket.

- Good afternoon, Lisa, it's already noon - he clarified, and then I realized I had slept the whole morning. - Your attire is not suitable for our prestigious agency, and your hair is disheveled - he said, wrapping his arm around my waist. I saw him furrowing his brow and touching my hair, dry from the low-quality shampoo I used. I hated that he was speaking to me formally when the night before we had kissed. His breath close to my shoulder sent shivers down my spine.

- I'm leaving then - I said, approaching my bag that I had placed on his desk. Despite everything, I still had my dignity, and I felt humiliated.

- You're not going anywhere - he replied, holding my hand so I wouldn't lift the bag. At that moment, I raised my face to his, taller than me. We established eye contact. I looked at his beard and his perfect nose. I couldn't tell if he was looking at me with disdain, desire, or pity. My thoughts were even more blocked when he let go of my hand and placed his hands on my back, pulling me towards him possessively.

- He's got me trapped - my mind screamed. I felt my body heat up, and his lips capturing mine caused an unexpected excitement. I placed my hands on his neck desperately. He touched my right thigh and then took off my jacket. My blood was boiling, and he couldn't stop kissing me passionately. I accidentally gasped in his mouth.

- Do you want this? - he asked, pulling away from me for a moment.

- Here? - I asked.

- Wherever you want - he said in a low voice.

- In the bathroom - I requested, afraid someone might see us - Just be careful, remember I'm pregnant.

- And I'm married - he replied, turning away from me. He gave me his back. - Go, Lisa, go into any dressing room, find better clothes there, and ask Mary to do your makeup. The model is Sandra Falcon. Do your best, these photos are for Vogue magazine. I sighed with embarrassment. I wanted to tell him he was an idiot, but I didn't have the courage. I decided to leave in a hurry. I pushed the door open and couldn't see if he turned around. I went to do what he had indicated and put on the most comfortable things I found. When I saw myself naked in front of the huge mirror in the dressing room, I could only focus on my belly. And even though my anger forced me to curse that event, my conscience as a good woman calmed me and filled me with concern for the well-being of that unknown creature within me. I had heard comments explaining that pregnant women shouldn't wear tight clothing, so I had chosen loose-fitting pants. I went to the studio and approached the model.

- Are you going to take my pictures? - she asked arrogantly before I finished greeting her.

- Yes, she'll take your pictures. I hired her exclusively for you. Any problem? - I heard Thiago's voice behind me. That was like my shield of defense, and I forgot the embarrassing moment, even though I was still embarrassed.

- I can leave if it bothers you that she takes your pictures, boss.

- If you're bothered by her taking your pictures, then there's no shoot - he interrupted me to address Sandra, who calmed down her arrogance at his insistence.

I saw her perfect silhouette and her well-maintained face, and I couldn't help but compare myself. I imagined the many times Thiago kissed the models because I couldn't believe that with a beautiful wife within his reach and surrounded by so many gorgeous models, he would choose to kiss me.

- Quick, Lisa - he ordered me with a seductive boss's voice when he realized I was lost in thought.

Sandra posed perfectly, and I tried to take the best photos. She left without saying goodbye, without even asking me to show her the photos. I was alone in the studio; it was already five in the afternoon, and all the workers were starting to leave. I put my cameras in my bag, went to the dressing room to get my clothes, but they were gone. I panicked.

- Take what you're wearing - Thiago said from the door. - Here's the payment for today, 600 dollars.

- I can't take something that doesn't belong to me - I said with dignity. - Also, why are you paying me when the accountant usually does it?

- Because this is a gift. She'll pay you another part next week. Take it, you need it, don't be foolish - he said, holding my hands and putting the money in them - also, please, take the clothes and whatever you think you can use.

- No, Thiago, why are you doing this? - I grumbled, concerned.

- I can't explain it, Lisa, at least not now. Go home safely, it's already very late, I'll spend the night here, I don't feel like going home.

- I can accompany you, I also don't want to go home.

- No, Lisa, we can't be near each other. Just go - he said in his sweet voice.

I couldn't reply anymore; he said goodbye with a timid kiss on my cheek. I put the money in my bag and left feeling bewildered.