normal and I was dilating quickly, and within a few hours I was with Fabi and my son in the room. Holding that little bundle of people in my arms was the most magical feeling I could feel in my entire life. - He's beautiful, my friend - Fabi said softly as she approached my side and began to run her fingertips over Pedro's face. - Yes he is. At that moment, looking at my son, my most precious possession, I promised myself that he would never miss a father. It wouldn't even be necessary. My son didn't need an asshole and irresponsible man to disappoint him. We would be fine just me and him.
So I believed, but for a short time. CHAPTER ONE The sweat that dripped from my forehead was always very rewarding. The pain of a day's work on my farm left me feeling more alive, as if my energy was restored. And after a long day like this, nothing better than a relaxing bath and a cold beer. What I could do at home, from the comfort of my couch, but I needed some excitement to take my mind off my worries. Taking care of an entire property was not only making a profit, but also making people crazy. After the cold shower, I took my truck. Well, actually, it was a Toyota Hilux, but I didn't like bragging about it. Simplicity was part of me. I left through the large entrance gate and stopped before entering the road, going down to go back and close the gate. As I was walking back to the car, I stopped and looked across the road at the simplest, but very poorly maintained, wooden gate falling down on one side. It was a sin that a property in such a good location, with fertile land, was treated like that. Otávio Fragoso, or Fragoso as he was better known in this region, was the lucky son of a bitch who had inherited that land from his parents. It was a small property, but if the house was maintained, it would be beautiful, along with the fertile land that could yield a good harvest, even if it was for personal consumption. But Fragoso didn't take care of anything. I only saw him visiting the place later, when he brought a woman to spend the night. And from the looks of the concierge, he would be there that day. I took a deep breath and got into my truck. That place was none of my business. I had already made an offer to buy the place, but the man kicked me out of his house. Before leaving, I turned on the radio, tuning it to an old-fashioned station and drove to the nearest bar. Living in a small town had its advantages, as well as its disadvantages, and this was due to the fact that everyone knew each other. As soon as I entered the establishment through the large door, some eyes turned to me, others greeted me, and there were still those who turned their faces in the other direction. I pulled up a chair at the counter and sat down right there. I had sent a message before leaving home for Felipo to meet me there, but as always, my friend was late. I asked the waiter for a mug of beer and watched people come and go. Everyone was walking in such a hurry, without looking around. People working passed from one side to the other, almost bumping into each other as they served crowded tables. People didn't put down their cell phones. There were few of them, those without one in hand, talking to each other. Time was something so precious, but at the same time trivialized by the busyness of everyday life. I had the habit of stopping every day, even if it was for five minutes, and contemplating something that I found beautiful. From a small thing, like a line of leaf-cutter ants carrying leaves, to a new car in a shop window. No matter what it was, I took my time and thought about the greatness of the world around it, and how, even for a simple ant, it was important. I took advantage of that moment to do that and began to contemplate time and space. Everyone had their place in the world, from the person who brought a tray of pizza to their table, to the cashier who got paid for it. And each one had the right time to act on their task. What each one did did not take away from the greatness of the other. - Speak, Diego. Apologies for the delay. Felipo arrived, greeting me with a slap on my back and snapping me out of my reverie. - As if this were something new. He sat down next to me, ordering a beer too. The weather was pleasant and the company was great. I used to have fun with Felipo. But to completely ruin the atmosphere, the most unpleasant person I knew entered the establishment with a woman by his side. She was a very beautiful woman, tall, blonde, with lush curves. Fragoso's arm was draped over her shoulder in an attitude of possession as they walked toward the closest table to me. I knew he had a wife, and it wasn't that one. One of the advantages of living in the countryside, everyone knew everyone's business. Whether it was gossip on the internet, or word of mouth from the population. And Fragoso's parents lived in that place for a long time, even though they never received visits from their son and daughter-in-law, they praised them to everyone. - It was too good to stay like that - I grumbled as I turned the other way, facing the bar. - Don't let Fragoso ruin the mood. Felipo said as he turned to face the bar, he also banged his mug on the counter, making some splashes fly. - He already does this without me allowing it. And I just had to talk about the devil, and there he was calling me. I rolled my eyes as soon as I heard my name come out, my voice already choked with alcohol. - Hey, Martins. What's good today? Did you manage to sell some cattle and come to celebrate? That was his greatest grace. Saying that I worked in the countryside, and didn't earn as much as he did, working in the city, inside an air conditioner. But he probably had no idea about my profits, or he would rethink what he said. Just look at the difference between our cars, while I used a Hilux from the year, he had a Corolla from 2018. But as I said, he didn't like to brag to me. Even though I really appreciate my financial condition. I took a deep breath, trying not to answer him in a rude way, because I was very polite. - I can sell mine. Now it's difficult to leave anything on your property, isn't it? I turned to him, resting an elbow on the counter behind me and bringing the glass to my mouth. The man frowned at the same time. He had already received a few punches from me, when I found some animals in precarious conditions on his land, and it was because of these animals that I still kept an eye on the place. -Are you spying on my lands again? - He stood up, causing the chair behind him to drag, causing a creaking noise from the friction of the floor. -Of course not, I'm just saying. I placed my glass gently on the marble. Fragoso was a guy who got angry very quickly about things, and when he had alcohol in his blood, that sp
thought they were strong when they drank. And that was all it took for him to imagine he would win an arm wrestling match with me. As he approached closer, I jumped to my feet, ready to defend myself. Before he even grabbed the collar of my shirt, a right punch landed on Fragoso's chin. I shouldn't have started attacking so quickly, but I wasn't going to let a son of a bitch like that lay his hands on me, thinking he could hurt me. The man fell onto the table where the blonde woman was, causing her to jump up in her chair and bring her hand with her painted nails to her mouth, covering it.
- Honey, are you okay? -she spoke in a high-pitched voice. The man just pushed her hand away with a little more brutality than would be prudent. But the woman still remained beside him, worried. - Di, you know it's not worth it - Felipo said in my ear when he stood in front of me. I knew that, and I wasn't really willing to fight much more than that. The bastard had already ruined my night. But there was just one more thing going through my head. Before leaving the place, I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt with one hand, as he had tried to do to me a few minutes ago and punched him in the chin again, seeing his head fall back as blood began to flow. - This is to learn to respect the wife you have. I glanced at the woman, hoping she would understand what she was getting herself into. I released Otávio who rolled to the side, trying to stay upright. I ran my hands over the shirt I was wearing and started walking towards the door. - My wife and son are none of your business. I do whatever you want. It's my life, even theirs is mine. I could auction them off if I wanted. This time I didn't even look back. I could only pray and feel sorry for those two people. CHAPTER TWO Having that baby in my arms was the most wonderful thing I had ever felt in my entire life. Pedro was already two months old, and I never tired of holding him against me, and telling him how much I loved him. That's what I was doing when someone knocked on the door. I already knew who it was, and it wasn't difficult to imagine. I authorized entry and a beaming Fabiana came bouncing through the door. - Good morning, flower of the day. - She didn't say that to me, but to the child who was on my lap. - Pedro's mother is here too. - I frowned, in a very poorly done act of anger. - Ah, good morning to you too. Laughing, she held out her arms to me, asking to pick up Pedro. When I handed it to him, the boy began to laugh lightly at his antics. It was beautiful to see the love they felt for each other. - Has Otávio shown up yet? Did you have news? I shook my head, getting up and going to the kitchen to make some more coffee. - Nothing yet. I don't even know what to think anymore. He never spent more than one night away from home. And that was the third. My husband was a libertine. Everyone knew that. He had slept away several times, but he always showed up the next day full of love and gifts. But it had been three days since he had even called. That no longer made me sad. In fact, I never felt shaken by it. I didn't love him, I knew that since we got married, so it didn't bother me. What hurt me most was seeing his distance from his own son. Since Pedro was born – two months ago – he hadn't even held our son in his arms. My pain was imagining my little one with that father figure, feeling rejected in some way. - Soon he should appear and give some signal. He's probably too drunk to remember his way home. My friend also knew very well who my husband was, as did I. I was still with him because I really had nowhere else to go. And luckily for him, he was never aggressive towards me, or else he would have been in prison a long time ago. Fabi had breakfast with me, taking advantage of the fact that it was a beautiful Saturday morning and she didn't work on the weekend. We chatted for a long time, only being interrupted when my cell phone rang on the table next to the sofa. I took advantage of the fact that Fabi was holding Pedro and went to answer the phone. It was an unknown number, from a landline, so I answered it a little suspiciously. - Mrs. Ellen Souza Fragoso? I didn't have Fragoso in my name, as I didn't change my documents when I got married, but Otávio insisted on calling me that. - Yes it's me. - I rolled my eyes. - This is from Santa Fé Municipal Hospital. My heart stopped slightly the moment I heard the word hospital. It couldn't be a good thing, that was a certainty. - Something happened? I looked at my friend, who was already paying attention to me. She probably sensed my tension. - I regret to inform you, and even more so over the phone. Otávio Fragoso was admitted to the hospital last night, after a car accident, and you are listed as his emergency contact. - Yes. He is my husband. There was a brief silence on the other side, until the person, most likely a doctor, cleared his throat and spoke again. - So, Mrs. Fragoso - I hated being called that - your husband was admitted with several injuries, and we tried everything. But this morning he had a cardiac arrest where we were unable to reverse the condition. Luckily I was facing the couch, so I let myself fall onto it. What do you mean Otávio was dead? He... I didn't even know what to think at that moment. - Ellen, friend. What happened? Fabi approached, apparently already nervous too, due to my reaction. - Mrs. Fragoso, are you still there? - The doctor's deep voice also called me. - I am yes. I don't know... Sorry, I'm not feeling well. -Of course, I understand perfectly. I would just like you to write down the address of the hospital, so that she can remove the body. "Remove the body." Hearing those words were making my stomach churn. But I still asked Fabiana for paper and a pen, who quickly brought me one and wrote down everything the doctor told me. He said goodbye, wishing her feelings. As soon as the call ended, my friend sat next to me, placing her hand on my knee. I felt myself shaking a little and I didn't want to be like that around my son. He couldn't see me like this. My son... he had lost his father. Even though he wasn't as present, Otávio was still Pedro's father. How much could this loss affect my little boy? -What happened, Ellen? She probably already had an impression of what it was from my reaction. I looked up at my friend, already filled with tears. I was scared to say those words. It was as if when I spoke, they became real, and I would no longer have any way to escape. It wasn't just because I didn't love Otávio, that I wouldn't feel for him. Living with a person made us know the best and worst sides of a person. I took a few deep breaths, looking for support to talk about what was happening to me. - It was from the hospital... Otávio... He... - I choked when the first tear ran down my face. - Oh, my friend. Already understanding what had happened, Fabiana pulled me into a hug. -He died, Fabi. He had an accident - I expelled the words from my throat as if they were a lump of hair. I needed to exorcise and digest that it was real. I shouldn't deceive myself. And words really could imprison or free you. They had power. And at that moment, I didn't know what they were doing to me. But saying it out loud made more tears flow from my eyes, this time staining Fabiana's blouse. From that
Fabiana pulled me into a hug. -He died, Fabi. He had an accident - I expelled the words from my throat as if they were a lump of hair. I needed to exorcise and digest that it was real. I shouldn't deceive myself. And words really could imprison or free you. They had power. And at that moment, I didn't know what they were doing to me. But saying it out loud made more tears flow from my eyes, this time staining Fabiana's blouse. From that moment on I was a widow, and above all, a single mother. I would have to fight for my son. CHAPTER THREE The days started early for me.
Even though I had someone to do the heavy lifting, I liked being there, getting my hands dirty. Money didn't make me a cool guy, and I was grateful every day for that. After herding the cattle from one pasture to another, I decided to take the horse up to the other side of the road. I hadn't seen Fragoso on his farm for a few days, and I enjoyed seeing how the animals were being treated. Luckily, S. Arnaldo, who was already an old man, was so attached to those animals that he would not leave them for anything, always visiting the place to feed and give them water. I went up the carriage with Tempestade, my best and most faithful horse, passed through the gate and crossed the road, entering Fragoso's property. As it was lying on one side, I didn't even need to get down to open it, as Storm went over one of the sides. I entered the place with caution, as I didn't want to meet Otávio there. He didn't like me much anymore, if he saw me "invading" his property, I would certainly have to listen a lot. But as I didn't see the car parked in the yard, I breathed easier and headed towards the back, where the animal stables were. S. Arnaldo was filling the horse's trough with feed when he noticed my presence and turned towards me. - Hi, Martins. - He greeted me by touching the brim of his hat. - Checking things out? Arnaldo already knew about my concern for the animals, so much so that whenever he saw me, he would give a statement about how things were on that farm. Even though he was no longer responsible for anything there, he did the work without receiving a penny from Otávio, which already made me hate the guy even more. This was because he was already old. - I always am. How are the animals? I approached the fence, seeing some horses grazing in the distance. There weren't many animals, there were a few cows, which Arnaldo himself milked and kept, keeping only the profit from the milk, and two horses. - They are fine. Fragoso hasn't been here for a few months, but I'm taking care of them. The man touched his hat, taking it off and wiping the sweat from his forehead with his arm. - Of course it is. But if you need anything, you know where to find me. I touched the brim of my own hat when S. Arnold waved to me, and I returned to my own lands. I stopped at the big house, which belonged to my parents. Even though all those lands were mine, I didn't think it was fair to leave my family out. So I had left the big house to them, along with my brothers. I had built my little corner, which was inside the property, but a little further away. When I decided to do this, my mother almost had a heart problem, not wanting to see me far from home, as if a few meters away were on the other side of the world. But I managed to convince her, and I built a house for myself. It wasn't as big as the one in front of me, but it was perfect for me. I stopped in front of the stairs, tied Storm nearby where there was grass to graze. I stopped next to him, placing my hand between his eyes and he stared at me. - I will be back in a moment. The horse made a small gesture with its head. I always said that he understood me, and talked to me. And little signs, even if they weren't what I really wanted, made me believe it. I took off my hat and went straight into the kitchen, where I could hear the shouting that was my family together. - You arrived just in time, son. My mother was already middle aged, in her fifties, but she seemed to get more beautiful every day. Her body was thin, her hair was white, always very well tied up and wrapped in a white cap. She always had an apron around her body too, as she was always in the kitchen preparing delicious dishes. She took a plate from the cupboard and served it with rice that was filling the air with its delicious aroma and handed it to me. I placed a kiss on the top of her head and sat down next to her at the table. My father was sitting at the end, watching everyone eat. And I stopped for a while, doing the same thing as him. He was an old man too, but very stubborn. It was because of him that we started in the dairy business, and when I started working with him, things grew considerably, and we were able to increase productivity and expand the business. Today, we had some dairy factories spread across the country, which made me very proud. I placed the hat, which was still in my hand, on the table in an unused corner and turned my attention to the food and the people. I took a bite to my mouth and looked up at my father again. He had a thick mustache that he wouldn't get rid of for anything, not even my mother's frequent requests made him get rid of that precious thing, as he himself said. Then I looked at my mother, who was smiling at something they had said and I didn't pay attention. Her wrinkles seemed to increase every day. Not that it made her any less beautiful, but it hit me in the gut that time was passing too quickly. After taking another bite to my mouth, I looked at my brother. He was eight years younger than me. And at the age of twenty-three, he was already finishing college and very happy working in law. Then my eyes fell on my little sister. Cecília was the youngest, she was thirteen years old, and she was the happiness of the house. I kept looking at everyone laughing, having fun, on any given day, without a greater purpose. They were happy, and that happiness was what made me feel at ease. I took that moment for my five minutes out of the day, observing and absorbing how I loved these people. They were everything in my life. I took a deep breath and mentally thanked God for the family I had. Dinner lasted longer than expected, and I still stayed to help João, my brother, wash the dishes. And when I entered my own house, after a while in the midst of so many voices, silence welcomed me with open arms. I loved those people, but sitting and just listening to the sound of night birds and a few crickets was relaxing. I liked to enjoy my own company. CHAPTER FOUR If my life wasn't easy before, now it was