My Hidden Darkness

First memory,

" Mama, will you always be here for me?" Little Louvre questioned innocently and blinked her big eyes. She was still on her uniform, as she just came back from her school, and it seems she was eager to ask her mother that question, before she could do any other thing.

Her mother, Mrs. Roland, looked at her somehow and wondered why she will ask that question. Was Louvre starting to watch some bad movies?

Was Louvre hearing bad words now? She couldn't stop thinking in that way, and she asked herself inwardly. But she regained her smiley face and squatted to little Louvre's level.

She held Louvre's both hands and gazed right into her eyes, her gaze carried nothing, but gentility. And Louvre's little face became a little bit flushed, but it didn't take a lot of time.

" I will always be here for you my darling, you don't have to worry about that okay?" Then, she kissed the crown of her little daughter.

" Yay! Thanks Momma." She trilled and jumped up happily. Her mother stared at her excited face and was really curious this time to know what prompted her daughter to inquiry something like that, " But why did you ask that kind of question? Did someone said bad words to my little baby?"

She jovially asked Louvre, and that made Louvre to stop jumping and shook her head as a negative answer. But immediately, she opened her mouth to reply her mother, " No, Mama. One of my classmates said to me that his mother ran away from home, and he was left alone with his father and siblings. He looked really sad when he was saying that, and I pity him. Then, I started thinking about you and hoped you won't do like that."

What came next immediately she finished talking, was a heartily laugh from her mother, and she shook her head. Little Louvre wondered why her mother was laughing, but she just stared at her and waited for her mother to stop laughing.

It didn't take long, and her mother exhaled to calm herself down, then she told her little daughter to follow her, " Come." And the latter held on to her mother's right palm and walked beside her.

They reached her mother's room, and the duo made their way in. Louvre wanted to ask something, but she didn't want to be too forward, so she waited patiently for what her mother was going to do or say.

" Sit my dear Louvre", a gentle voice sounded in Louvre's ear, and she nodded, while she took her seat. Mrs. Roland also took a seat and faced her daughter, her right leg was crossed over her left leg, and she made a cool face.

" I will never leave you Louvre, if that's what you are thinking, including your father and this very house. You all mean a lot to me, and I will never trade you guys for anything else. Why will I? When I got the most sweetest daughter, the most loving husband, and the most peaceful home. This is the best home ever my dear, I want you to know this and cut that thought of me leaving. Just throw that thought away and be happy okay?"

Her mother calmly voiced out to her and assured her. She couldn't blame Louvre for thinking that way, as she was only worried and didn't want to be sad like her friend.

Louvre smiled and ran to hugged her mother, she was elated and moved. She felt as if she was the most luckiest daughter on earth, and her chest swelled up. Her mother was cut off guard with the sudden embrace, but she wounded her arms around Louvre's back and patted her nicely.

" Thank you Mama, thank you so much. You are the best Momma." She heard the little girl say, and she smiled with her face showing a relaxed emotion.

" Oh my dear sweet Louvre, you just made my face flushed." She grinned and disengaged the embrace. Louvre chuckled at her mother's words, it was evident she was glad, and this moment meant a deep thing to her.

" Don't worry about your friend, you can tell him to come here, and I can also care for him." Louvre's mother continued, and this made Louvre to smile more wildly, showing one of her missing canine as her permanent teeth was still growing.

" Mama! Thank you again! Yes, I will gladly tell him, and am sure he will be interested. I can't wait! Thanks again momma", she squealed and kissed her mother's left cheek.

Her puny mind was very happy, and she couldn't wait to get to school again tomorrow.

" It alright dear, let's find you something to eat, and also you haven't undress yourself." Her thought was interrupted by her mother's concern words, and immediately her stomach grumbled. She covered her eyes and ran out of the room. Her mother shook her head again and smiled at her daughter's silliness.

Second memory,

A fifteen years old girl was hiding in her room, she was scared to go out, so she decided to stay inside her room and locked the door. But soon, a knocked was heard by her, and she asked hoarsely, " Who is it?"

" Your mother dear, can you please open the door? We need to talk Louvre." Mrs. Roland answered her softly and begged her. She knew Louvre can be stubborn sometimes, but there was always a way to tame a stubborn person.

But her mother only received silence from the other side, Louvre was debating whether she should open the door or make up an excuse, and she later went for the latter thus refusing her mother, " Am busy right now mum, maybe when am free, then I will let you know."

She hoped her mother would buy her lies, but her hope shattered when she heard her mother next reply.

" C'mon Louvre, I know you are not busy, so stop all these, and please open the door. Please..." Mrs. Roland begged her daughter with a gentle tone and somehow it worked, as she heard her daughter sighed and with her werewolf sharped ears, she was able to pick on approaching steps.

Louvre sighed, she knew despite how stubborn she was, she couldn't resist her mother. So, she stood up from the bed and with lazy steps, she strolled towards the door.

Soon, the door was opened and there stood her mother, gazing at her with eyes full of worries. She stepped aside for her mother to enter, and Mrs. Roland made her way in.

" Oh Louvre", came her mother's sweet voice, whilst her mother held her left arm.

Louvre tried to made a strong face and voiced out indifferently, " Say what you have to say Mama, I don't have much time."

Mrs. Roland then exhaled, she was sad on how Louvre replied her indifferently, but she still decided to talk to her daughter, " Why don't you want to go with me and your dad to the pack meeting?"

She questioned her daughter but deep inside, she was well aware about the reason why. But she had her reason for asking.

" I just don't feel like and please, I don't want to talk about it. Just let me be, I want to be alone for now please." She replied her mother and went over to sit on her bed. She was sad but was trying to shift her sad thoughts away from her mind. It wasn't easy for her, and her self esteem was reduced right now.

Her mother went over to sit on the bed , beside her daughter and looked up before she fixed her gaze to Louvre's sideview face, " If you don't want to talk about it now, then when are you going to talk about it? You don't have to run away from your fears Louvre."

Her mother was trying to pat her daughter, so she can let out her thoughts and fears out. She wasn't happy with how Louvre was bottling her emotions, and it pained her. Louvre was just not her daughter, she was more than that, she was her only precious jewel, her gem, and her irreplaceable baby.

" Mum, I will talk about it when am ready, but now am not. I believed it my wish if I don't want to go to the pack meeting, and you guys have to respect my wish as my parents." She solemnly answered her mother, her voice not too loud, and she refused to look at her mother's face.

Not that, she was scared, but she just don't want to let her guard down.

When did Louvre stubbornness become this great? Mrs. Roland questioned herself inwardly and shook her head, whilst dropping her head down.

" Why can't you be free with me Louvre? Why can't you talk with me?" Her mother sadly whispered to her, but it came out more like a question. A sad question, and Louvre had to fight back her tears.

She hates talking and acting like this, but her emotions were getting the best of her, and it was making her to act cheeky which wasn't like her.

" Why?", came her mother's question again.

" I am free with you Mama, just that right now am not in a proper state", her calm reply sounded in her mother's ears, and she nodded, " Is it because you are scared?"

Louvre heard her mother say, and she knitted her brows lightly.

Louvre heard her mother say, and she knitted her brows lightly. She knew her mother could figure out why she was scared to follow them to the pack meeting, but she didn't expect it to be now. She kept mute and closed her eyes, warm tears dripping slowly from her ears, and she laid flat on the bed.

Mrs. Roland saw her daughter pitiful state and sighed again. She was aware of what her daughter was going through, and how she felt about the pack meeting, but she wanted her daughter to open up to her, not the other way around. But it seems she was too scared to let her emotions out.

" You know am always ready to hear you out, anytime and any day, and you shouldn't keep such stuffs like that from me. Am aware about a lots of things, but I hardly say them.

Don't think you can hide all that from me Louvre, am your mother, and no one can ever be like me."

She said, more seriously and hoped it sink into Louvre's brain. She wanted her daughter to be totally free with her, it might not really be a good thing to others, but she cared less. She loved her daughter more than anything, and she was ready to let her feel more loved and cared for. And she won't stop until her last breath.

Louvre, who didn't want to let her guard down earlier, bursted into tears and moved closer to her mother. She snuggled into her mother's arms and continued crying, whilst she choked out, " I ...di..dn't want to mum, I was too scared and let my emotions decide for me. Am sorry mum." She looked pitifully, and her mother robbed her back gently.

" I know, I know you are scared, but it isn't good to keep all that to yourself when you know am here for you. Am always ready to hear you out, even if what you want to say might be senseless, I will still give you a listening ear."

Mrs. Roland reminded her daughter and hoped for her to stop keeping things to herself. She doesn't have to pretend like that, not when she was ready to share her daughter's pains.

" I know mum, I promise not to hide anything from you?" She said to her mother and promised her, while cleaning her face.

Her mother also took a tissue from the wardrobe and wiped Louvre's face with it. While she was wiping her daughter's face, she uttered with a small smile appearing on her lips, " Don't you know when you cry, you look homely?"

Louvre pouted when she heard her mother's words, " That's too harsh mum, am always good looking anytime." She replied her mother and this time, her tears were already dried.

" Alright, just telling you so you won't cry anymore. I don't like it when you cry Louvre", her mother's voice was filled with Love, and it made her chest swelled up.

She wondered why she has the sweetest mum ever, she was really glad to have someone like her mother, who always understand her and made sure to be there for her always. She silently prayed to the Moon goddess to keep her mum safe and reward her with nothing but goodness.

" I would not cry again Mum, since you don't like it then I will stop, just to make you happy."

Her mother just chuckled at her daughter's impossible words, " Sily girl."

The fifteen years old Louvre smiled at her mother and still continued to snuggled closely with her mother.

" Louvre." Mrs. Roland called her daughter, and it appeared her tone was filled with somberness. Her face changed into a serious expression, and Louvre had to stop snuggling and sit straight to face her mother.

Staring earnestly at her mother's face, she heard her say, " You are not a weak werewolf my love, you have the most purest heart and that's makes you the strongest."

Her mother encouraged and continued, whilst her left palm was on her daughter's left cheek, " Don't believe them and don't let their words hurt you. Remember you are the only one that can give them the permission to make you feel hurt, nobody can make you sad with you permitting them my child, and now you have to be strong for yourself.

To me, you are the most powerful werewolf, you are kind and the nicest person have ever known. You are beautiful in and out, that's what matters and not your physical strength Louvre. Hope you get that?

" You just need to mold yourself into a better person, and I assured you those who mock you will be shocked. So, if you keep running away from your fears, you will only end up being a coward, or do you want that?"

Louvre's mother curled her lips upward and asked her daughter, but instantly she responded to her, " No, mum. I don't want to be a coward."

Her mother nodded, " Then, that's means you have to push your fears aside and face those who made you feel less."

Louvre got what her mother was saying, and she accepted her words. She made up her to try and face her pains, instead of avoiding them. " Yes mum, I will do just as you say, and I will try to impress you."

She said with a look of determination, and immediately she tugged her mother's sleeve, " Can I follow you and Dad to the pack meeting now? I want to face those kids, and let them know they can't hurt me anymore."

" Now, that's my Louvre. Cheers!" Her mother cheered for her, and the duo waved both their hands in the air. It was a unique moment to the mother and daughter.

This was one of a kind moment to the two, and they will gladly cherish it. It was really crucial to them, and they adored every single bits of it.

Present day,

Louvre remembered all the moments between she and her late mother, and she cried bitterly. It was a huge blow, and she tried to hold herself together, but it wasn't successful, as she had deep attachments to her mother.

Her mother was just like a mini god, and she loved her deeply to the very core. How was she supposed to take the news of her mother's death?

She cried again and again, loudly that made her father to run over to her side and held her shoulders.

The servants in the house heard of her cries and knew she was still hurting about the sudden news of her mother. And most of them knew how inseparable the late mother and her daughter were. They pitied their young master, whilst some shook their head and felt like crying.

It was a woeful day for the Roland family, nobody knew Mrs. Roland was going to kick the bucket, and it came as a big shock to everyone. She was widely known and everyone knew her as a woman with a golden heart, she was one of the rarest person, possessing a sui generis soul and always ready to help anyone.

The Alpha, Luna, Beta, and the Gamma of the pack the Roland family belongs to, came to show their condolences and promised to help them in anyway they can. The Rolands' mansion was full, as different people came to show their empathy to the family of the demise woman.

" Please, leave me alone!" Louvre shouted at her father with a hoarse voice, her eyes were stark red, and she ran upstairs to her mother's room. When she got to her mother's room, she shut the door loudly that made some people and the servants to flinch a little and unexpectedly.

Mr. David Roland, Louvre's father, could only watched his daughter run upstairs and banged the door. He was also hurt, as Louvre mother, Selena was not only his wife, but his mate, and he didn't understand why fate had to turn his family like that.

Where was he suppose to start from?

Everyone that witnessed the scene couldn't take it, and some even started to tear up. Tears, wails, loud outcry all filled the Rolands' mansion, it was something one couldn't resist, and it was mind shattering.

David, who had promised himself not to cry again, didn't know when his tears started flowing down, and he crouched to the ground. He wasn't ashamed that a reputable man like him was sitting on the ground and crying like a kid. He didn't care at all, and everyone also understand him.

Why can't fate be more merciful to him? I could have lose other things, but not my wife! Not my mate!

He thought and screamed at himself internally.

Haa! Life is really cruel to me! He exclaimed inwardly and quivered lightly. The surging emotions were just too much for him.

The Beta of the pack came to his side and went on his kneels, so he could face the crying man properly.

" You know you are suppose to act like a man? You don't have to cry like this, I understand how hard it is, but you have to create a strong heart, so you can overcome this feeling."

The Beta consoled him but didn't forget to be gentle in his words, cause he was aware what David was through right now wasn't easy, and it requires a very strong mind to let go.

The crying man didn't bother to answer him. David was busy thinking about his late wife, whilst crying at the same time.

David didn't bother to answer the man consoling him, instead his thought was on his late wife, her smile which could light up a dark night, her dulcet voice that always gives him tingling feeling, and her beautiful smooth face which he could never get tired of staring at.

She was just too perfect, and he wondered what he was going to do without her.

The thought of being alone scared him, and he believed Selena couldn't have die like that. They were made for each other, and she wasn't supposed to leave him alone, cause they promised to stay together forever, but guess fate had another plan for them.

David sobs didn't reduced, and he even sobbed more. He just couldn't keep that sad feeling inside him, so he decided to let it all out now. The Beta, who was the second in command to the pack, realised David wasn't ready to be consoled, then he left the sobbing man and made his way out to join the Alpha, including the rest.

" How is he doing?" The Alpha asked him with face full of concern. He was also well aware about how painful it is to lose a loved one, especially one's mate. It was really a tough and unbearable thing.

The Beta sighed and shook his head, " My King, he is not in the proper state right now, and I think we should let him be for now. "

" Humm. If that's it, then let's take our leave and check him up tomorrow." The Alpha said, that had his Beta to nod in agreement, and they left the Rolands' mansion.

Meanwhile,

Louvre was in her mother's room, looking at her things that were neatly arranged and tidied, then she took one of her late mother's cloth and sniffed it. She was searching for something to calm her down, she wanted to convince herself that her mother was still alive, and she was only having a peaceful sleep. But the real truth was hunting her, and it made her feel broken.

She felt incomplete, and her mind was numbed.

Who will wipe away her tears now?

Who will be saviour?

Who will be there for her?

Who will always correct her and be her A team?

Who will always be ready to hear her out anytime and any day, even if what she wanted to say will be nothing but insignificant??

Just who will do all that?

She wasn't that close to her father, and weirdly they don't get along with each other well.

" Mum! You promised to stay with me forever! You promised to always be here for me! You promised to always adore me! " She bursted out with more tears, her tone containing the pains she was going through, and her heart was enveloped in grief.

The torment of losing her mother was killing her, and the misery was eating her whole body up.

" You promised to never leave me. " Her last words came as a whisper, and she clenched her fist tightly. Crying more, she went down and curled like a ball. Still sobbing in a ruth manner, she wished to join her mother, and she closed her eyes.

No one had the courage to come inside the room, but at the same time they were all scared and hoped for their young master not to commit anything stupid or unnecessary.

Louvre's father didn't know how to face his daughter, so he made a decision to let her be. He was also not in his right mind currently and was still mourning his late wife.

To the both of them, it was an awful experience, and they wished it never happened. But fate was such a fickle mistress!

Louvre passed out from exhaustion, the tears she shedded and the pains she felt all made her body to be infirm.

Two hours later, she woke up but was too weak to stand up, so she remained on the ground and stared blankly at the bright painted walls. She wasn't thinking about anything, and her mind already drifted away. At that moment, nothing mattered to her.

She felt too much pang, to the extent her whole self became numb, and she didn't know what to feel again. At that time, something sparked in her, and she jolted a little. But her weak mind couldn't focus on that, and she continued to stare dully.

The servants downstairs were really worried about Louvre, but they still tried to be patient and silently prayed for a good thing. The house was really quiet and in a melancholy state. Guests continued to come and give out their condolences, but no one was happy with what happened.

It felt like a great woman passed away, and even the day was dull. Maybe, it was also mourning the dead woman.

David stayed in the balcony, thinking about a lots of things and sighing multiple times. He couldn't cry anymore, cause he knew his tears won't solve anything, and he was sure Selena won't be happy with him crying. But he really found it hard to believe his wife wasn't going to be with him anymore, and it scared the shit out of him.

He realized he wasn't going to wake up with her beside him anymore, he wasn't going to dine secretly with her again, he wasn't going to argue or tease her again, he wasn't going to see her beautiful face any more, he wasn't going to hear her voice anymore, and he wasn't going to consume her special cookings anymore.

Just why did fate decided to act so cruel to me? He asked himself again and shook his head.

What could he do now?

Then, one of the servants entered the balcony and moved closed to David.

David wasn't aware someone was behind him, he was in a deep thought that clouded his werewolf sense, and he continued to sigh.

" Mr David, please you need to check on Miss Louvre. She has been in the late Madam's room for over three hours, and the room was just silent. At first, we heard some of her cries, but later the room went mute."

One of the servants reported the situation of Louvre to David. He couldn't keep calm anymore, and that's he went up and let David know about what was going on.

The servant words broke David from his thoughts, and he frowned. He became worried immediately he heard what the servant said and rushed to his late wife's room, whilst hoping for Louvre not to attempt anything irrelevant. He already lost his soul mate, he couldn't lose his daughter too as that might be his death.

He could have comforted his daughter earlier, but he didn't know how to. He was confused on how to console her and even he himself needs consoling, so that's why he left her alone, but now he was regretting his actions. David knew he wasn't a good father to Louvre, since the beginning because he wanted a male child but was disappointed. The only reason why he accepted Louvre was because he loved his late mate and didn't want to do anything that will hurt her.

Now that Selena was dead, he didn't know what to do with Louvre, as he was starting to feel for his daughter. He was accepting her and was ready to be a good father to Louvre. His only fear right now was for Louvre not to leave him like her mother.

He got to his late wife's room and knocked but received no reply. He knocked again, this time more loudly, but what he got was a plain silence.

David's heart started to palpitate, and he feared more. " Louvre, are you in there?!" He shouted, and his voice vibrated a bit.

" Louvre! Ple......"

His coming word was cut short by a weak reply, " Am fine.... "

David sighed and pressed his hands to his chest, he almost lost it, and he rubbed his hands together. He was very delighted that Louvre was okay and silently thanked the servant for alerting him.

" Can you please open the door? I want to see you dear Louvre." He requested in a gentle tone and eagerly waited for Louvre to open the door. But his mood was ruined, when he heard her next words, and he knew she wasn't ready to talk to him now.

" Dad, I prefer to be alone now, so can you just leave me for a while?"

David didn't know how he felt, but he tried to carry himself away from Selena's room door and walked slowly to his own room. When he got to his room, he looked around, and the room suddenly felt cold. He moved to sit on the bed, tracing his hand to the other side of the bed, and he closed his eyes to let out a sigh. The bed wasn't warm, as it was supposed to be but instead it was cold with no wrinkles.

He tried to be strong for himself, since he was now aware no one will be there for him anymore. Little tears dripping down from his eyes, wetting the big bed, and he used the back of his right hand to wiped them away, whilst snorting. Then, he picked up his phone and dialed a number, he couldn't help Louvre right now but someone else can.

Within an hour, a tall youngish man, who was an early vicenarian, arrived at the Rolands' house and was wearing a sullen expression. He didn't expect what he heard, and it was evident he was shocked.