My Heart Beats Your Name

Rita Zeng was an ordinary person who went to an ordinary school and did an ordinary job, but she was determined to pursue her dream. The people around her didn't believe she could realize that dream, but she believed that she could.

She always said that what's the point of living if a person didn't have a dream? It's unknown whether she came up with the thought or she just quote from some book. Now that she was working in the traditional Chinese medicine cabinet group of a pharmacy. She was still chasing her dream in her spare time.

However, time flies. Time and tide waits for no man. Whether you waste your life or pursue your dream, time goes by.

"Rita Zeng, have you really no boyfriend?" The newly arrived girl looked at Rita Zeng and asked curiously.

Rita Zeng looked at the customer who was obviously listening to their conversation. Feeling a little depressed, she grabbed the herbs and said to the little girl, "You don't understand. I'd rather live alone than have a lame boyfriend." But she knew a lame boyfriend was still a boyfriend. She didn't choose to be alone.

The little girl might have just graduated and didn't know how to see which way the wind blows. She continued to ask, "Rita Zeng, is there anyone you like?"

Rita Zeng glanced at her and didn't answer her question. Instead, she looked at the customer beside and said, "Sir, this is your medicine, dried radix rehmanniae, cortex moutan and prunella spike. Take care." Seeing that the man walked out of the door, she glared at the little girl helplessly and said, "Can't we keep a low profile? You have spilled my shortcomings. He might think that no one wants me!" But it was the truth.

Only then did the little girl realized that she had said something wrong, so she stuck out her tongue and said, "Rita Zeng, I am sorry! I didn't mean it."

Rita Zeng didn't say anything, but took out her phone and sat on the chair to read a novel. Her colleague at the counter said with a smile, "Little girl, Rita Zeng won't be angry with you. It has been several years, and I haven't seen Rita Zeng get angry. We are good-tempered, aren't we?"

Rita Zeng always liked this colleague. She nodded with a smile and said, "Tell me about it. You know me best."

"Of course! Who am I?" The atmosphere was eased after they talked and laughed.

Perhaps no one would have thought that Rita Zeng, who was so young at that time, would stay in such a quiet place for so long. Didn't young people like excitement and passion?

Rita Zeng had answered this question before. She said, "A vigorous life is not suitable for me. My heart is not good." In fact, only she knew in her heart that the reason why she no longer pursued an exciting life was that she could not afford it.

She had a great job! Her job provided meals, which made Rita Zeng, who had been lazy all the time, very happy. After lunch, Rita had to sit for a while as usual before going to work. She sat there reading the novel, which was one of her three hobbies. The other two were watching TV series, and reading novels or TV series lying down.

"Rita Zeng! You are going to be fat if you keep lying down. You have finally lost two pounds. Get up and move a bit!" The group leader of Rita Zeng, who was very enthusiastic, said. Rita Zeng got along with her very well.

Rita Zeng moved a little with a smile, and grinned, revealing a relatively white teeth. "I'm giving up myself. I can't find a boyfriend. So I might as well get fat."

With a smile, Nina Wu gave a light spank on Rita Zeng's butt and said, "How dare you give yourself up? I wanted to arrange a blind date for you but you refused. Now you want a boyfriend? Serves you right."

Rita Zeng pouted. Although she was almost thirty years old, she still liked to act like a spoiled child in front of her colleagues. Josie Wang, who was standing aside, cut in, "Can't you introduce some guys to us?"

Rita Zeng nodded and said, "Exactly." Looking at the two people singing the same tune together, Nina Wu was amused and said, "You two! So it's all my fault, isn't it? Let's make a deal! If I arrange another blind date for you, and you don't show up, I won't spare you!"

Rita Zeng nodded with a smile and held Nina Wu's arm, "I love you! You are the best. " But in fact, she was sad! Can't she be a heroine in the romantic movie once? Couldn't she just met someone and fall in love naturally? She really didn't like blind dates. But since she had agreed, she didn't say anything more. Anyway, she might meet her Mr. Right, who knows! Nina Wu was picky, so the guy she chose must be excellent.

As they were talking and laughing, it was time to get off work. Rita Zeng stretched herself and said to Celina LI, "Celina Li, what should I have for dinner when I go back?" She asked her this question practically every day.

Celina Li smiled and said, "No wonder you get fat. You are already thinking about the next meal when you just had your last meal." Rita Zeng giggled and said, "Losing weight needs energy. How can I lose weight if I am hungry?!" Then she picked up her phone and read a novel. The novel she was reading recently was quite beautiful.

Celina Li shook her head! Rita Zeng was both lovable and hateful. After a long time, the person Rita Zeng had been looking forward to finally came. The person who took Rita Zeng's shift was a man with a good temper. Someone once asked Rita Zeng why she was so good-tempered, she just smiled and didn't say anything. Although she didn't like to be angry, her temper was very hot. But this man was so good-natured that she had never seen him lose his temper since they had worked together for over a year.

"Well, I'm here. You can get off work now!" Kris Yang said as he put on his coat.

Rita Zeng put the phone in the pocket of her coat and said, "There is no medicine to decoct later. Call me if you need anything!"

Kris Yang nodded and said, "Okay. By the way, I will be on the night shift the day after tomorrow! We changed shift."

Rita Zeng rolled her eyes at him and said, "I have a good memory! Don't worry! I won't forget it." Then she looked at Celina Li who was sitting not far away and said, "I'm leaving, Celina Li." Celina Li waved her hand with a smile and said, "OK! Go home and have some sleep!"

After cleaning up, Rita Zeng went to the bus stop at the gate of the pharmacy with her bag on her back. At this time, Kate Zhen came out, putting her hand on Rita Zeng's shoulder and said, "What's wrong, Rita Zeng? Where are you going after work?"

Rita Zeng rolled her eyes helplessly and said, "Where can I go? You don't play with me because you want to go home to see the child, so I can only go home to sleep."

Kate Zhen smiled and said, "I have no choice. I can't leave baby at home! Rita! Cherish the present!"

Rita Zeng said gloomily, "I wish I have a daughter to care for at home! For your information! You only have a son and have no daughter! Don't piss me off. I'm telling you, I'm going to get married this year."

Looking at the serious expression on Rita Zeng's face, Kate Zhen smiled and said, "Rita Zeng, I am serious. Don't get married for the sake of marriage, okay?"

Rita Zeng nodded and said, "I know. Don't worry! I've been suffering from the hormone disorder these days, so I want to find a boyfriend. I'll be fine in a few days."

Kate Zhen looked at Rita Zeng with a smile and said, "By the way, when haven't you suffered from hormone disorder?"

Rita Zeng stood still and said, "Kate Zhen! I'm suffering from menstrual disorder, not hormones disorder! ! ! Besides, are we good friends or not. How could you expose me like that?"

"Of course we are! I was helping you. Exposing your wound can help it heal." Kate Zhen said with a smile. Rita Zeng also smiled. Rita knew clearly what kind of person she was. She could also tell the difference between a joke and a sneer!

Speaking of this, Rita Zeng felt ridiculous. She relied more on Kate Zhen than on her brothers and sisters. She always said that she had no relatives.

"Take Nick out to watch a movie someday. Minions is coming out!" After getting in the car, Rita Zeng said to Kate Zhen who was sitting next to her.

Kate Zhen put down the phone and said, "Let's talk about it later! He is at his grandmother's home!" Rita Zeng nodded and the two separated when they arrived at the station.

When Rita Zeng came back home, she took off her clothes randomly, put on her pajamas and was ready to go to bed. Sometimes older people always said that she was lazy, but she just smiled. The generation gap between them was too great! There was no need to explain.

In a daze, she had a dream. In the dream, she went home to tell her parents that she was getting married. When she woke up, Rita Zeng scratched her hair and muttering to herself, "Really! I can't even see the groom's face in my own dream!"

But she was a big-hearted person. She knew she should not marry in a hurry! Rita opened the fridge door and decided to cook some noodles!

While eating the noodles, Rita Zeng looked at her computer. She couldn't help feeling that she was a loser. Although she had tried to be successful for countless times, she was still defeated by the reality.

A WeChat message came. It was a roommate who had lived with her for eight years in the past. The reason why it was eight years was that she had left before graduation. They had been working together for two years. They chatted with each other for a while due to boredom. Rita Zeng then lay in bed.

Kate Zhen sent her a message which wrote, "Are you playing cellphone in bed again?" Have you had dinner?

Rita Zeng smiled and replied, "You got me! I've eaten my special noodles. Now I'm lying on the bed!"

Kate Zhen sent a sweating expression and wrote: you are definitely going to get fat. Can't you get up and do some exercise?

Rita Zeng replied straightforwardly, "I've been busy all morning. It's OK to put on some weight! People who really like me won't dislike me for being fat.

Kate replied helplessly, "All right. All right. You are right. Well, you can go on with your business! Go to bed early! I'm going to bed.

After saying "good night" to Kate, Rita continued to type. It was her dream to be a writer, which was illusory in the eyes of others. They thought that she was following the trend because many TV series were adapted from the Internet novels in the past few years! In fact, when she was in grade three... That's 2001. When Rita knew that she couldn't be a policewoman because she was too weak, she started to think that maybe she could be a director? Or a writer? All in all, she had been working toward that goal in the following years.

Kate's "good night" warmed Rita's heart. She was a sensitive Pisces. Other people said that Pisces were unfaithful to love, but she knew that if Pisces had decided to settle down, they would be contented with a stable life. Besides, Pisces fell in love easily and were prone to be hurt deeply in the end.

Last night, Rita has some inspiration at midnight, so she stayed up all night. Fortunately, she was on afternoon shift on the second day. On the second day, she was finally woken up by her parents who came to visit her.

"You stay up late yesterday, didn't you? Didn't I tell you? If you are not in good health, don't stay up late. If you keep doing this, I won't allow you to write anymore." Her mother said as she served the rice for her.

Rita pouted and said, "Mom, this is my dream. If a person doesn't have a dream, he is as good as dead."

Rita's mother glared at her, "I know you you won't listen to me no matter what I say. You have to take care of yourself. Don't you know that you are suffering from anaemia? Traditional Chinese medicine doesn't work. I think going to bed early can cure any illness." Her mother began to display her unique skill, nagging.

Well, her father finally decide to give her a hand! Her father couldn't stand it anymore and said, "Well, let the child finish her meal first!"

After the meal, Rita sat on the sofa watching TV with her father happily. In fact, blood relationship was weird. It is said that daughters are the lovers of their fathers in the previous life, that's why daughters are close to their fathers. Rita thought that she must have tricked her father in her previous life, that's why she had to comfort him in this life.

Rita put the cut fruit on the tea table and said, "Dig in! Dad! I bought it the day before yesterday. It's sweet."

Her father nodded, but his eyes were still fixed on the boxing game on TV. Rita pouted and was unhappy. Did he come here to watch TV? She held her father's neck and kissed his forehead. Her father was not young anymore, so his hairline was receding, which made his forehead a little wide.

Her father pushed Rita and said, "How old are you? Still doing such kind of thing."

However, Rita didn't let go and said, "Didn't you say that in your eyes, I am always a child? Besides, I don't kiss others!" Rita liked to act like a spoiled child with her parents. It seemed that everyone liked her doing so.

Her father smiled and said, "You have to get a boyfriend. Look at how old you are! Most of your classmates are married! I told you so when you were twenty-two. You said it was too early. Well, what now?"

Depressed, Rita let go of his hand and said, "The fortune teller said that I get married late. If I get married early, I will get divorced sooner or later."

Her father had a new answer to this excuse that had been used for several years. He smiled and said, "You are almost thirty now. It's not too early. You can get married now!"

Curling her lips, Rita stood up and intended to find her mother in the room. Logically speaking, her mother was no match for her.

"Mommy, what are you doing?" Rita hugged her mother and said with a smile.

Rita caressed Rita's face, smiling, "I just bought a new book about health maintenance. According to the book, black sesame and black beans are good for kidney? Do you have black sesame and black beans in your pharmacy? Is there a grinding machine?"

Rita smiled and said, "No, we don't have black beans. But you can eat black beans raw. I will go to the market to find a store to grind some black sesame power for you!"

Her mother nodded and said hesitantly, "If it's expensive, then don't bother! You can save some money!"

Rita said indifferently, "It won't cost much. Just wait for your black sesame powder!" Rita thought she just hadn't met the right guy. She always talked about the chairman of the shop at home. She was an experienced worker compared with him! He was not so much a chairman as a boss!

Her mother smiled. Perhaps she didn't know how to react to her dramatic daughter! Time passed quickly. She put on her working gown baclk unhappily and went to work.

She was so busy! There were a lot of people coming to the pharmacy these days. After all, there were all kinds of health maintenance formulas circulated on the major satellite TV and online. Rita had just sent a woman away. As soon as she sat down, she saw an old man coming to her again. She could only stand up with a smile and say, "Sir, what can I do for you?"

The old man had hands clasped behind his back. Had he worn Chinese tunic suit and followed by two bodyguards, Rita would believe that this man might be a big shot coming from the South China Sea! The man run down his eyes over the counter and left. After he left, Rita sat down again, speechless.

At this moment, Celina came out of the lounge and asked, "What's wrong?" Rita! One of her characteristics was that she always had her heart on her sleeve. Many people were willing to make friends with her, because of this. They didn't have to guess what she was thinking.

Rita shrugged and said, "Nothing. Just now, an old man looked at the counter for a while and left without saying anything."

Celina nodded and said, "It's normal. Not everyone comes in will buy some medicine home, does he?"

Rita nodded in agreement and said, "Yes, I guess so. We are in the service industry. Aren't the things in the counter for them to see?" People often come in and have a look when it rains or snows or when they are bored from waiting for the bus, but normally they don't place the order.

Celina nodded in agreement. Rita smiled and said, "Celina, do you think what I said is too official?" Celina smiled, and Rita held her hand, shaking it while jumping.

On the other side of counter, Nina looked at her and said, "Oh, Rita! She's such a merrymaker. Look at Celina, she is so happy when Rita comes!"

Rita smiled and didn't say anything. She admitted that she loved to be complimented, perhaps it was because she hadn't get much compliments since she was a child! When she was a child, her father never complimented or scolded her for anything. In his eyes, as long as the she could grow up healthily, nothing else mattered.

Rita once said that she lacked confidence because she had received little encouragement from others. She had hoped that she could be supported no matter what she did, and helped whenever she was in need. But God never granted her wish. Gradually, she did not dare to make a decision. She always said that she was an eagle that was caged into a fowl.

Rita sometimes read books when she was seized by a whim. After all, there is no end for learning! The higher the educational background, the better. After all, the employers would have higher and higher requirements for education background in the future. Rita had a bachelor's degree in pharmacy, and now she was not 17 anymore. She could not afford to pursue her dream regardless of consequences. She could only pursue her dream when she had enough money to support herself. Otherwise, she would never be able to pursue her dream. Just like what others said, when Vincent van Gogh passed away, he was still an unknown painter. Sunflower didn't get popular until he was dead. But what's the point? He's dead already! A man in a sketch also said: what's the use of money when one is dead already! In fact, it made sense.

"What are you looking at? You look so attentive!" Looking at Rita who was sitting still, the woman next to her felt that she should come over and have a look.

Smiling, Rita showed her a book on traditional Chinese medicine and said, "I am studying hard to serve the people!"

Bess Qian smiled and said, "You naughty girl! If you ask me to sit here and read, I can't sit still like you. You are so capable."

Having worked for such a long time, Rita knew a little about everyone's character. She knew that Bess Qian was encouraging her! With a smile, she said, "Bess Qian, if you were my primary school teacher, I would have been admitted by the Tsinghua University or Peking University!"

With a smile, Bess Qian said, "Key universities are not as good as they said. You're doing great now, aren't you?"

Rita pulled her to sit down and said, "I guess so. I just like the Peking University. Didn't they say that it was the cradle of arts student? People always think about what they haven't got and don't cherish what they have got. "

Bess Qian nodded with a smile and said, "You are so eloquent. I think your future husband will definitely be bullied by you in the future."

Rita smiled happily and said, "Bess Qian, thank you for your blessing! My grandma is worried that I am too good-tempered that I will be bullied!" What she said was true. Since she was eighteen years old, her grandma had always been worried that she would be bullied by her future mother-in-law, because Rita was careless and soft-hearted.

Bess Qian laughed exaggeratedly and said, "No way. Your grandmother can rest assured! Who would have the heart to bully you?"

The two of them chatted for a while, and Bess Qian left after someone went in to buy some goods. Rita was not in the mood for reading any more. She closed the book, stood up and leaned against the counter. She had thought that she was young and it was OK to be single, but now she really didn't know whether she should cry or laugh. Then she shook her head and thought that maybe she was sentimental because her period was coming!

The woman next to the cabinet had finished her work. She looked at Rita and said with a smile, "What are you thinking about?"

Rita glance at her and walked over with a smile. When they stood together, Rita flashed the mobile phone in front of her and said, "Isn't this the old three major items? WeChat, micro-blog, and Baidu Tieba!"

She smiled and said, "Old three major items? How old are you! You are the youngest one among us, okay?" It was true! It was said that working in pharmacy was stable, so old people and married people were more willing to work in pharmacy.

Rita smiled and said, "I'm almost thirty. I am aging!" What the netizens said was true: Children want to grow up when they are young, and adults want to be young again when they grow up!

At this time, someone came in to buy some traditional Chinese medicine, so Rita went over. A woman in her forties looked at Rita anxiously and asked, "Do you have Bulbus fritillariae cirrhosae?"

Rita nodded and said, "Yes, for adults or children?" Adults and children should have different kind of Bulbus fritillariae cirrhosae. Adults had strong resistance, so they could have Bulbus fritillariae cirrhosae of medium quality. Children had weak resistance, so they should get Bulbus fritillariae cirrhosae of good quality so they could get better soon.

The lady looked at Rita in confusion. Rita was willing to explain it to her. After all, she was much better than those who were arbitrary and ignorant. She smiled and said, "Children should have the kind produced from better place of origin and has a faster effect. It is OK if you choose the kind for adult, but you can't delay taking medicine! If you think that kind is too expensive, you can buy Bulbus fritillariae cirrhosae for adults. "

After thinking for a while, the woman still chose the expensive one. After paying the money, she came back and said that she was not in good health when having the second child, so the child often got sick. She heard that having steamed Bulbus fritillariae cirrhosae and pear had an amazing effect, so she came here to buy some.

"Ask the child to bask in the sun more often, and then eat more fruit with vitamin C. Don't worry, I was not in good health when I was a child, but I am stronger when I grow up."

The woman said gratefully, "Really! Thank you!" Rita smiled and said, "It's okay. Take care." In fact, Rita was willing to help others. She just couldn't stand that some people thought that they were God after spending some money.

After a busy afternoon, everyone got off work at about eight o'clock in the evening. Rita had persecutory delusion. She always worried that someone would follow her home and rob her, so she didn't carry her bag at night.

After getting on the bus and sitting in her exclusive seat, she took a long breath. Bad things happen every day. However, no matter how unhappy she was, in the service industry, customer was God. She didn't have to force herself to smile, but she was not allowed to quarrel with customers. When she was a child, she didn't understand why would people didn't have human rights. Now she knew that there were some things that she didn't need to understand. She just needed to obey!

Rita was a little artistic by nature. She liked to sit by the window and appreciate the scenery outside. Maybe it was because she had been to few places! Therefore, she cherished the scenery along the way more. At night, in addition to cars, there were also neon lights in the city. Rita felt that the neon lights were ethereal and attractive.

It was about half an hour's drive back home, and it was already midnight when she arrived home. Her parents had already gone to bed. Rita went back to her room and fell on her own bed. The moment she lay on the bed, she was relaxed. She always said that she couldn't bear the pressure, so she didn't want to bear it. Sometimes she felt very lucky that she didn't go to college, or she might be driven crazy by the pressure! She felt tired for the white-collar workers in those big cities. Some people said that she didn't have ambition, she admitted it too. People wanted different things, and she just wanted to live a peaceful life.

When she came back home, she just wanted to eat and write. Now she didn't know whether she was doing this for her dream or for money. It was twelve o'clock. Fortunately, she was on the night shift tomorrow. She thought so before she went to bed.

When Rita was sleeping soundly, she heard the vibration of her mobile phone. She was a little annoyed when she opened her eyes and reached for her mobile phone. "Who! Disturbs my sleeping in the early morning!"

"Hello, Rita! This is Nan. Have you forgotten that you and Kris have changed shift today?" Said Nan.

Stunned for a moment, Rita said, "Well... I'll be right there!" After hanging up the phone, she immediately sat up. They went to work at seven o'clock, and it was already seven fourteen. She hurriedly got up to wash her face and brush her teeth. Fortunately, she did these quite quick. When she went out, it was seven twenty-five. While putting on her shoes, she said, "Mom, I'm leaving!"

"Aren't you on afternoon shift? Why are you leaving so early? You haven't even had breakfast!"

Rita picked up a fried cake and said, "Don't mention it. I forgot that I had changed shift with Kris! I am late!" Then she closed the door and rushed downstairs. Fortunately, she got on the road after three-minute walk and hailed a taxi in a hurry.

"Go to the pharmacy next to the Eighth Middle School on Marshal Road." Rita was eating fried cake while looking at her phone. The driver looked at her from the mirror and said nothing. He drove off when the signal light turned green.

It was only six or seven minutes' drive, but they had to wait for the signal light. After eating the fried cake, Rita carefully looked at the mirror, because she could see the driver in the mirror. She had to see if the driver was a bad guy! Nowadays, many people went missing in the daytime.

Rita found he was quite handsome. Rita was absolutely a face judger. She wasn't one before. Now she didn't want to see the ugly face at all, as if she was afraid that she would get involved with them.

Rita was thinking on her own, yet the driver didn't look at her at all. Why! Because the driver really didn't know how she could go out like this, with the phone in one hand and the fried cake in the other. Her hair was like a chicken nest. He couldn't bear to look at her in the eye! Finally, when the driver was about to lose his patience, they had arrived at the destination. Rita handed the money to the driver with a smile and said, "Thank you! ." Then she got off the car.

The driver couldn't help laughing when he received the money. Fortunately, she had given him change. If she had given him 100 $, how could he give her change? At this time, the beeper rang and said, "Boss, boss, now we are in the SD. Where are you? Where are you?"

The driver's cheeky smile was replaced by a serious look and said, "Copy. Now send me the location of the SD! I'll be right there!"

After receiving the address, the driver drove away. He didn't stop even when the passers-by hailed a cab.

When Rita came out of the lounge, she felt like a survivor of a disaster. She patted her chest and said, "Nan, fortunately, you called me, or I would not wake up till the alarm rings!" Her alarm clock rang at ten!

With a smile, Nan cleaned up the room and said, "I haven't seen you and Kris since I came here, so I called Kris after waiting for a while. He said he had changed shift with you, so I called you!"

Rita smiled and said, "I have been busy these days, so I forgot. Otherwise, I wouldn't have forgotten."

Nan smiled and said, "At least Celina is here. Besides, you still have days off! Just ask for a day off!"

Shaking her head, Rita sat on the pier and said, "No, I can't. It's hard for me to explain even if Celina covered for me! Besides, I have blind dates on the day off! One in the morning, one in the noon and one in the evening! I can have delicious meals the whole day."

Nan smiled and said, "You are such a foodie! I don't believe you! You win if you can go on one blind date. You have said you would go on blind dates many times in the past few years. But you chickened out and broke the appointment every time. Don't I know you!"

Rita smiled and said, "Can't you show me some mercy and don't reveal my past? But I've made up my mind this year. I will be an old maid if I don't find a boyfriend soon. I want to have some quality time before having children!" In fact, she had decided not to have a baby for at least a year after marriage because she heard people saying so.

As a matter of fact! It was a discussion incited by a piece of news. After reading the news, Beth said, "I won't let my daughter have baby so early in the future. She should wait for at least a year before having a baby. Otherwise, the baby suffers if she get divorce in the future!"

Rita thought it made sense. She did not believe that she could be so lucky to meet a person and spend the rest of their life together. Sometimes she could be really stubborn.

When Celina came over with her glasses and phone in her hand, she saw Rita standing there in a daze. She smiled and said, "What's wrong with you? Spacing out in the early morning! Have you had breakfast?"

Rita smiled and said, "I just ate a fried cake. I guess I'll be hungry later." Even boys couldn't eat as much as Rita! But she didn't worry that she would be disliked by others in the future. After all, a good appetite is a blessing!

Celina smiled and said, "Go get something to eat before someone sees you." In Celina's eyes, Rita was just a child. Celina's child was ten years older than Rita, so she loved Rita very much.

Rita held Celina's arm and said with a smile, "No, I'd rather save some money and lose weight." Rita was fat because of her irregular menstruation, especially her two legs. She even mocked herself that they were elephant's leg! She had tried every means to lose weight, but failed. Later, she decided to give up dieting, because she had stomach disease.

Celina smiled and said, "Don't try to lose weight. I think you are fine now!" Rita smiled and said, "Celina, you are just trying to make me feel better. I can't find a boyfriend if I stay fat like this!" She didn't need others to tell her this, but she knew she had really indulged herself.