My Boys: Tug of War

"Dear Diary,

I've decided to keep you to chronicle the growth of the boys.

And just in case something happens to me they'll have my words, my feelings to remind them of my imperfections, my love for them, and my desires for them.

I don't envision hot affairs with the boys next door, nor do I see my husband having an affair. I pray I will nip denial in the bud if that time ever comes and handle my business.

So, my loves, always know that you hold my heart.

Your father stole it long before we thought we could ever have two delightful princes in our lives, and you've held my heart since I laid eyes on you.

Your father is a good man and a great father. I wouldn't wish anyone else for you, ever.

There are so many beautiful, wealthy men who would've taken you as their own as well but as you hold my heart, so you hold his.

As you grow, we may all lose sight of that. He's always right. Listen to him.

It's okay to get mad. It's not okay to take it out on each other; that goes for all three of you. Don't speak when you're angry, I know you'll lie.

I can see you growing into beautiful men, both inside and out. Just like your daddy.

Michael, your humour, and ability to call out your daddy are indispensable. Stay true to yourself, my love.

Jeffrey, my sweet, dependable child; your common sense is uncommon, and your thoughtfulness almost breaks my heart. Don't change to make others happy.

Daddy, father of my two precious gifts, I hope I bring sunlight into your life.

Sometimes I worry that you're so busy you would forget I am if you didn't come home to us every night. You have a heart of gold covered in camouflage.

I still see glimpses of the sweet bartender I fell in love with decades ago. Seeing you smile makes everything, we've worked hard to put in place, worth it.

Your happiness and sanity are important to us all. I hope you remember to spend weekends at home like we'd agreed before we had the boys."

Troy stopped reading his wife's diary and swallowed hard. She knew. Why hadn't she told him she was sick, before?

'Had she said something he'd brushed off?' He ran a hand over his forehead and rested it on the back of his head. 'Shit,' he thought, 'maybe she had.'

Looking at the time he swore, again. The boys had under half an hour to get to school, and he hadn't sorted out their sandwiches, juice- 'Damn it, Evelyn had always made it seem like a piece of cake.'

Closing the diary and noting that there were many mini bookmarks with the boys' initials he blinked back the moisture that threatened to spill over his lower eyelids.

Clearing his throat and grabbing the jacket of his grey suit, his wallet, and car keys, he looked over their bedroom. The neatly made bed and the tidiness of the bedroom didn't reflect the turmoil within him.

He hurriedly closed the door and headed down the hall calling the names of the boys as he went towards the staircase. He made a mental note to ask Mike and Jeff what their sports schedules were like for the next few weekends.

Trust his wife to call him out on a promise he'd made her long before they'd planned for the boys.

Chuckling to himself as he reached the bottom of the stairs, Troy caught Jeff as he felt his legs buckle with the impact of a small body slamming into his calf.

Holding his son's shoulders and squatting to look into the boy's eyes he grimaced as he realized his jacket was now sweeping the floor from his son's shoulder.

Before he could get a word out his youngest son's hazel eyes brimmed with tears and with a voice higher than normal the child spoke, "Daddy, Mike took my sandwich."

Troy frowned, confused, "Your sandwich?" he asked his son.

"Mummy makes our sandwiches every night before we go to sleep then we help her put them together in the morning. My sandwich was in the fridge. Mike's is half done."

Jeffrey Matthew's lip trembled as a sign that he was seconds from bawling.

In the corner of his eye, Troy saw his eldest son observing his every move.

"Okay," Troy looked at his watch. 25 minutes. "We're going to be late if we don't leave now." Looking at his son he knew he'd said the wrong thing as his son's face fell and the tears brimmed over his eyelashes.

"Dad, we're going to be late. May I have pocket money to buy something at school?" Mike asked, frowning at his father. Michael held his hand out as he slung his satchel over his shoulder. "What time are we going to see Mom?"

"Sure." Troy pulled out two fifty-dollar notes and gave one to each boy.

He checked to make sure they were in proper uniform and had their satchels and homework before locking the front door behind them. Looking at his sons he smiled.

They were handsome buggers. Michael ran his hand through his short, mahogany brown hair in annoyance as they got into Troy's car. Michael's light green eyes watched as his father slowly got into the car, remotely opened the gate, and set course for school.

"Well?" Michael asked.

"Well, what Mike?" Troy asked, slightly annoyed at the boy's impertinence. There was no need to get short.

"What time?" Michael's caramel-toned hand ran through his curly brown hair again and his fingers drummed impatiently against the leather armrest of the front passenger door.

"After school," Troy searched the road ahead for any sign of a traffic jam as they neared the boys' school.

"Daddy?" Jeff's little voice asked from the back of the luxury sedan.

"Yes, Jeff?" Troy answered looking at his son through the rear-view mirror.

"I think Mummy would like flowers and fruit. Can we help you pick them before we go to see her?" Hazel eyes opened wide, begging him not to say no.

Troy didn't like the fact that his son thought he'd say no. Jeff was practically begging him. Troy sighed; this was going to be tough.

Glancing at Michael he knew that he wasn't going to like what his eldest son was about to say, "Sure Jeffrey Matthew, that sounds good. I'll pick you up straight after school. Do either of you have sports today?" Jeffrey Matthew's face lit up at his father's words.

"That's a relief, I'm sure you don't even know what her favourite flowers are anyway," Michael mumbled as the car came to a stop at the school's drop off-zone. "Later Dad, don't be late."

Michael opened the car door and unbuckled his seat belt with expert speed and was slamming the door as Jeffrey placed a small, caramel-toned hand on his father's shoulder.

"It's okay Daddy. We'll help you. She'll love what you'll get her. She'll be even happier if we walk in at the beginning of visiting time. Have a nice day, Daddy. Love you," with that the child unbuckled his seatbelt and left the car.

Jeffrey's soft words echoed in Troy's mind as he drove to work. Both his sons didn't believe he could get his wife a gift she'd like.

Annoyed and bemused Troy was determined to pick them up on time and prove them wrong. As he walked into his office, he was surprised to find his PA sitting at his desk writing what seemed to be a note addressed to him.

"Unh-hunh, sure. Anything else, Mrs. T?" His PA asked as she nodded to acknowledge her boss's presence.

Troy frowned, 'Was that his mom or his wife?' he wondered. If it was his mom, he'd talk to her later.

His PA laughed, "Okay. I'll tell him." She put the phone down in its normal place on his desk as she turned to face him.

"Good morning, Mr. T!" Her blue eyes sparkled with mischief as she pushed her dark brown hair behind her ears.

'Damn, that was probably my mum,' he thought as he leaned against the front of his desk. He sat on the edge and raised an eyebrow at his PA.

Discreetly checking out her boss, as he folded his arms across his toned chest and crossed his legs at the ankles revealing his equally toned thighs, Jennifer licked her lips.

He was handsome in the moneyed and powerful kind of way. Not that he wasn't good-looking, he was. But the fact that he had power and money did bump his attractiveness up several notches.

Looking at his face, she noted that he could use a shave and a haircut. "So that was your misses on the phone. She figured you'd be late because of the boys.

"She also says you've got an appointment with your barber at lunch and yes, you do have the time to squeeze it in. She also says she hopes you saw her text message on how to complete Michael's sandwich. Did you?" Jennifer paused.

Troy looked bewildered as he put his hand in his right pocket, pulled out his phone, and saw that he had 3 new text messages. Opening his message inbox, he saw the messages were from his wife. 'Damn,' he thought, 'he had meant to read them.'

"Just reading them now," Troy answered sheepishly. He glanced at his PA as he scrolled through the messages.

She frowned at him and shook her head while suggesting he reply while he held his phone. As he replied to his wife's texts the phone on Jennifer's desk rang.

Lifting the receiver of the phone on his desk and punching in a code she answered, "Mr. Tinovenga's office, how may I help you?"

She scribbled a few notes in her notebook in shorthand and ended the call. Flicking her hair over her shoulder, she turned back to her boss to continue relaying the message from his wife.

"So, she says please do not be late in picking the boys up from school today. They were disappointed that they only got to see her for a few minutes. Jeffrey has a play date with Thoko Mabhena and her brother, so your timing has to be on point.

"That," Jennifer pointed to the handset on his desk, "was the CEO on the line. He's sure you'll want to go to the hospital so he's bumping your meeting up to 9:30 this morning. I've already sent up the report, so he's prepared for it, unlike last time."

Jennifer smiled wryly as she intimated the near debacle that had occurred at the previous meeting where the CEO didn't get his notes on time.

"Noted, on all accounts. Are you done typing-" Troy began to re-plan his day according to the news he'd received.

"Sorry Mr. T, but how is she doing? She insisted that she was fine but one thing you two have in common is misguided stoicism."

Troy bit his lip as a frown appeared on his brow. "She is in a lot of pain. The doctor thinks she'll be fine.

"Are you done typing the mid-annual report? She'll kill me if I spend the weekend here instead of at home with the boys."

Jennifer pointed behind him to his laptop which was opened and requesting his password. That meant that her daily report was waiting for him, and it was time to get to work.

By 11:30 he'd had two meetings and completed 80% of the day's work. Rubbing his eyes, he took a sip of his coffee as he read through the last part of a proposal written by one of the new interns.

Snorting with disgust, he buzzed his PA and asked her to call in the intern. It was going to be a long internship if he didn't sort out this chap quickly.

At 14:30 a reminder popped up on Troy's calendar to pick up the boys. Seconds later Jennifer called him to ask why he hadn't left to pick up the boys. As he stood up to pick up his jacket and car keys his cell phone rang.

"Hi babe, you alright?" Troy asked as he put on his jacket, shut down his machine, and headed for the door.

Evelyn rolled her brown eyes as her heart skipped a beat. He certainly had a sexy voice. Quickly she reminded her husband to pick up her boys.

Relieved to hear he was on his way out she was surprised when he asked how she was doing. So stunned was she that she paused trying to figure out what to say that wouldn't be a lie. "Sure, I-"

"Babe, I've got to go." Troy hurriedly cut her off as the CEO walked into his PA's office. Swearing at himself for delaying his departure he placed his phone in his pocket and glanced at the clock above Jennifer's desk.

***

Evelyn looked at her phone and screamed as she threw it across the room. A nurse came running into her room to find her sobbing in the private room.

'Why had she thought things would change between them? This was all her fault, she'd thought that with prayer, hope, love, and faith he would see that-' she snorted at her futile thoughts, after all, a grown woman of her age should know better.

"Ko, chi-i futi (what is it now)?" The nurse asked. She'd heard that this woman acted as if she were white and now, she completely believed it. Looking at the phone and its battery separated on the floor several metres away, she sighed and picked up the phone.

'Apa ha-a tauri Shona nemunhu (To make it worse she [the patient] doesn't speak Shona with anyone) so how was one to know what was going on with this crazy woman? Asi (but), it wasn't the woman's fault, with her blood pressure as high as it had been anyone would be crazy.

'Pamwe akawona vana vake ne murume wake zvingangoita nani (Maybe if she saw her children and husband she would feel/be a bit better).' The nurse placed the phone and its battery on the cupboard next to the hospital bed.

"I'm sorry. I lost my temper. It won't happen again." Evelyn's voice was barely above a whisper as she knotted her fingers together.

"It's your phone. Not mine. Shall I call your husband and let him know that-"

"No, that won't be necessary. Thanks," she demurred. Maybe that's all she needed, time alone, away from everyone.

Evelyn looked at her phone, the screen was cracked but the phone was otherwise functional. So much for being unreachable she thought dryly. The nurse huffed out of the private hospital room.

The nurse watched the strange woman through the window in the centre of the door. When she was certain that everything was in order, she continued her round. Out of curiosity, she looked at the room allocation chart.

'Tinovenga, Mrs.' Something about that name rang a bell. 'Could these be the same strange couple that lived next door to her sister in Warren Park? This was a private ward. How did they make so much money so fast?'

Troy pulled up to the school with 5 minutes to spare. He'd even managed to buy that phone Eve had been harping on and on about. At least it would keep her mind off whatever had hiked her blood pressure to nearly stroke point.

The test results would be out by now. As his mind rushed to all the possibilities a swarm of kids exited the school. A tap on his window kept his thoughts from getting any worse.

Looking up he found himself looking at a woman holding his son's hand in a vice grip. He rolled down his window while unlocking the door behind the driver's seat.

"Mr. Tinovenga! Thank you for coming to pick up the boys on time. Yesterday the boys were picked up late, and by a taxi that is unacceptable." The middle-aged, white woman looked pointedly at Troy.

"Yes, that was rather unfortunate," Troy's slow emphasis on every word was the only indication that he was irritated by the woman.

Her floral skirt moved in the wind revealing her nude-coloured, knee-high stockings which were firmly strapped into her black open-toed sandals. Her sandals reminded Troy of a cross between Roman gladiators and shoes reminiscent of the era of the Spice Girls. Her pink blouse flapped in the wind providing some distraction.

The teacher frowned. 'Surely this man couldn't possibly think his wife's abandonment of the sweet boys was alright?' She tried again to make him see reason and agree to put his wife straight.

"It was quite irresponsible of your wife to forget them. She could've at least asked someone to take them home. Although we do not have any staff or students who live in Warren Park, something could've been arranged. The poor dears nearly froze to death."

Guilt overwhelmed Troy. If he'd read his wife's text messages yesterday, he would've been with the boys in time to get her to the hospital. Instead, he found her in a pool of blood and his sons absent when he decided to get home early for once.

Michael had called him to ask if his mother was okay and let his father know that he was coming home by cab. By the time the boys had gotten home the ambulance had already taken Eve to the hospital.

"Jeffrey Matthew, get in the car," Troy's voice was low and dangerously calm despite the scowl on his face. Troy spotted Michael jogging to the car as his little brother obeyed his order.

Narrowing his eyes at the teacher and starting the engine Troy continued speaking in a low, calm voice. "It is unfortunate that as we speak my wife lies, hopefully conscious, in hospital. She collapsed yesterday. If I had read her text message the boys would have come home with me, on time."

Michael jumped into the car with a quick, "Hi Dad!"

Troy locked the car doors and waved goodbye to the teacher who stood beet red and gawping at the retreating car. Sensing their father's unpleasant mood, the boys looked at one another and nodded; a silent conversation passed between them as the houses around their school flew past.

Troy caught a glimpse of his youngest son staring at the mansions they drove past almost as if committing them to memory. Troy smiled to himself and glanced at the sedan behind him in the driver's side mirror.

He mentally cursed as he realized it was his mother-in-law's car. He wasn't really in the mood for small talk. His thoughts of evading her were cut short when Michael turned in his seat and smiled widely at his younger brother.

"Jeff, it's Gram Tee behind us!" Michael exclaimed excitedly.

"Cool! Daddy, stop the car! Please?" Jeff asked pleadingly.

"Dude, there's no way Dad isn't going to stop," Michael snorted as he pulled out his cell phone from the inside pocket of his blazer.

"Hey Gram Tee...I'm fine, so is Jeff...We're on our way to see Mummy. We're going to Floribunda to get her flowers, then Honeydew's to make a fruit basket first though...okay!"

Troy raised his eyebrow. Why would they go to-?

"Dad turn here, we're going to Honeydew's first. Gram Tee is meeting us there." Michael said as they reached an intersection.

"Michael, that's not what we agreed on."

"True, we didn't agree on anything specific, but I've already told Gram we're meeting her there so either you call her and tell her I made my own plans, or we meet her there."

Troy thumbed the indicator to indicate they were turning left as he mused how much his eldest son was like his wife. The trip to Honeydews was relatively painless for Troy.

He suspected that his mother-in-law was holding her peace for the sake of the boys. He loved his mother-in-law, but she loved her daughter fiercely and Troy knew he'd fucked up yesterday.

Normally his wife kept her differences with him to herself and would make her displeasure known to him heatedly when they were alone; this was a colossal mess-up that proved everything his wife had been on about as 100% true and un-fabricated.

She normally excused his behaviour to both his and her family as job pressure, but he knew it wouldn't cut it this time. The boys, rather, Michael, pushed the trolley as Jeffrey Matthew selected specific fruits.

Troy watched the boys as they agreed on various items in the fruit and veg store and explained to their grandmother why each item was important. As the teller rang up the items Troy wryly noted that the boys had chosen the most expensive of nearly every item.

The flower shopping was even more interesting with Michael quizzing Troy on his flower selection. The closer they got to visiting hours, the more nervous Troy became.

As they parked in the hospital's parking lot Troy took a deep breath taking in the hospital's extensive grounds and the stone façade of the four-story building.

Stepping out into the sun he felt slightly calmer. As he collected the bags of fruit and assorted goodies the boys had bought, he saw the impatience in the boys' eyes. He quickly closed the boot of the car and locked the car.

Jeffrey took two bags from his father while Michael held the flowers and took another bag. As they walked into the elevator Michael inspected the gift bag his father was also carrying.

In the light of the lift, his father looked funny. He nudged his little brother, "Hey Jeff, doesn't Dad look like a short, chubby version of Michael Jordan?" Michael whispered.

Troy caught Jeff stealing a glance from his right side and smiled at his son who giggled and nodded.

"What's so funny?" Troy asked.

"You look like a shorter, chubby Michael Jordan," Jeff whispered.