Mr. World and Miss Church-Member

"Have you met with any hindrances to your work?" queried the chairman of the meeting.

"Many indeed. Some Parks refuse our class of Theatres, while others are closed to every class. But our committee is determined to push ahead."

"Onward, ye comrades," urged the chairman. "Buy up the stock of every Park, if possible, and furnish recreation for the church. Do not become too bold at first in the introduction of lewd and foolish plays, or you may be fought by the popular churches."

"Hardly possible," replied the leader. "So many in the church are glad to wink at these incongruities, for they are thereby given a chance to satisfy their carnal appetites without being classed with the regular Theatre crowd."

"This is one of our happiest modern hits," chuckled the chairman, as the committee turned away, amidst the mad-like cheering,

Next I saw that the chairman raised his hand, and at once I heard three sharp clangs which were the signal for the "Church-Choir" committee. "What has the church-choir to do with the Theatre," thought I, as I saw the obedient host answering to their call.

"What tidings, good or ill?" asked the chairman in a tone of confidence.

"Progress slow, but sure," briefly answered the leader of the committee as he stepped a little nearer to the chairman to give his report.

"Ours is a difficult task. Some choirs are hedged about that we cannot so much as reach them with suggestions. Nevertheless, we have succeeded in many sections, notably in certain large cities. We report, with pride, that some churches have engaged genuine theatrical singers to render special selections during the regular Sunday services. Is it not an evidence of our success when the opera-stage singer of Saturday night furnishes the chief solo for church-goers on Sunday morning? This is winning certain people to the Theatre, for in many instances they cannot wait until the next Sunday; so they visit several theatres during the week to keep their spiritual strength renewed."

Then the demons cheered to the echo, and I listened with a sad, heavy heart.

The leader continued:

"We are also endeavoring to get the regular church-choirs to imitate the popular theatrical stars. Of course, we do not oppose the use of religious words, if we cannot induce them to sing our selections. We are aiming to create a taste for the up-to-date novelties in music, in contrast to the old dry singing in certain churches of the King's Highway." (Prolonged applause.)

As this tall, wiry demon continued to unfold his deep-laid plans, I well understood why Satan has selected the church-choir as an objective point, and has delegated so large a number of imps to do work in that special direction. I then cried within me: "Oh, that these churches would not use their choir-corners as an advertising medium for the Theatre! And that choirs, in their musical devotions, may be led by the Spirit of God rather than by the imps of Hell!"

This committee retired with special encomiums.

The chairman rose and I heard four sonorous clangs which summoned the "Ministerial" committee. At once its members, in their sedate and portly attitudes, surged down the massive aisles.

I shuddered as I saw the variety of these mean Satanic faces, portraying a depth of vileness, mingled with shrewd and scholarly insight. With great care I studied this pack of Hell-hounds, gathered from the ends of the earth, now standing in sullen mood, ready to give their report.

"What tidings, good or ill?" asked the chairman.

"The tidings are good," replied the famous leader. "By our efforts we have silenced many a voice which formerly thundered against us. To-day many more ministers are in sympathy with the modern Theatre of the higher grades, although not a few of these must hold their views in secret. Others speak apologetically, and still more come out in bold defense of what they term the 'Select Theatre.'"

"What do you consider the most hopeful line of your work?" further asked the chairman.

"Our work in the theological schools," quickly responded the leader. "Special sections of our committee have labored with stealthy vigor to capture the preacher before he reaches the pulpit. The last years of the century have witnessed phenomenal gains for our cause. By winning the theological student early to our Theatrical theories we are likely to gain his heart and sympathy in after years. Our success along these lines is the most hopeful sign of the times, and bespeaks the ushering in of more sensible conditions. (Furious applause.)

"Before retiring," continued the leader, "let me quote the utterances of a certain broad-minded clergyman: 'The clean Theatre of the twentieth century will be, and ought to be, the moral prayer-meeting for Christians, while the spiritual prayer-meeting will be held in the church as usual.'"

The whole army of devils cheered like madmen. I was so aroused that I felt that ecclesiastical lynch law should be applied to any minister whose utterances caused such jubilee among the legions of Hell.

I could not remain to hear the report of:

"The Moral Play" committee,

"The Variant Dance" committee,

"The Sacred Concert" committee and other committees whose names I could not learn.

Mr. World and Miss Church-Member, after spending several hours at the Theatres, moved toward the vast groups of buildings comprising the third division of the College of Literature. The structures lay in a semi-circle facing a magnificent court, in the center of which there was a park of surpassing loveliness. On an immense arch, over the center of the park, these words were hung in shining letters:

THIRD DIVISION:

TRUE CHRISTIANITY AND LITERATURE.

As Mr. World and his charming companion entered this great central court, they were quite overcome by the size and beauty of the three score halls, each one widening as its depth increased. Some towered one thousand feet in the air while others sent their proud domes, as it were, into the clouds.

The two companions mingled with the multitudes, engaged in the common pleasures of this open court, and watched with poetic delight the sparkling fountains, while sweet strains of music from scattered orchestras lent their charms to the soul. The shrubbery, flowers and plants, as well as the works of sculpture and pictorial art, all appeared as if angel fingers had been employed in their production and arrangement.

The season here spent by Miss Church-Member was the happiest that she had yet experienced since she had left the King's Highway. To think that she was now living in the threshold of True Christianity, in its relation to literature, was at once novel and refreshing to her mind, for she now claimed to be a more faithful Christian than ever before.

During their protracted stay at this division they visited the following halls, each one devoted to a specific purpose:

Hall No. 3. "The Bible from a Literary Standpoint."

Hall No. 8. "The Best Literature for a Sunday School Class."

Hall No. 9. "The Best Literature for Sunday school Libraries."

Hall No. 13. "The Best Literature for a True Christian to Read."

Hall No. 16. "Literature for a Christian's 'Grip' when on a Vacation."

Hall No. 27. "The Sunday Newspaper and Other Publications."

Hall No. 38. "The Best Way of Conducting a Religious Newspaper."

Mr. World spent a day with his appreciative friend under the teaching of Hall No. 3. The professors were exceptionally brilliant, and so won the confidence of their many hearers that what they said seemed to have more weight than even the Bible. They tried to demonstrate that the literary style of the Bible was far below par.

When they entered Hall No. 8 they were surprised to see how large a number of Sunday school workers and teachers were already there. The meeting that day was held largely in the form of an open parliament, and a discussion was in progress concerning the use of the Bible in the class during the study of the lesson.

"Would it not be preferable," asked an interested visitor, "to use the Bible in the class during the study of the lesson, and use the special helps only for preparation?"

"Don't think of it, don't think of it!" abruptly answered the teacher.

"It would only be a step backward."

"It appears to me," continued the visitor, "that our young people ought to become more familiar in using and handling the Bible, and if it were used in connection with the study of the lesson it would surely prove to be a valuable help, even beyond what the present system affords."

"And would you throw aside all the very valuable side lights to the lesson that are being produced in such rich variety and abundance?' hurriedly asked a Sunday school teacher who was present on a furlough.

"Nay, nay," earnestly spoke the visitor, "let the press go on, but let not its fruit be substituted for the bread of life. Fruit is good, delicious and healthful, but we need the staff of life. Let the real actual Bible be handled and used in the teaching of the lesson. Then whatever else is wise to use as an auxiliary help may be brought into service. That is my platform, pure and simple."

The leader of the meeting was agitated. He impatiently rose to his feet before the last words had fallen from the visitor's lips.

"Let us use reason," he said, with a light vein of sarcasm in his voice. "Is it not true that the average child sees enough of the Bible in his home and in the public schools, and that he greatly relishes a change when he comes to the Sunday school?"

"That's only too true," spoke up the worldly element who were there in large numbers.

"Let me assure you," continued the speaker as he was warming to his theme under false fires of devilish sophistry, "in the day when the Bible was used in the Sunday school classes, spiritual ignorance abounded more than now."

"Why not be satisfied with rapid advancement, instead of inviting retrogression in knowledge, and a double decimation in Sunday school attendance, by compelling scholars to go searching through a book as uninteresting and unfathomable to them as the Bible?"

"One great hindrance to Sunday school work is its pious and sanctimonious tendency. If the schools of the twentieth century are to be successful, we must have less of that Bible stiffness in them, and still more of an open sociability."

The worldly element and some of the Sunday school teachers were now cheering heartily. But the speaker continued:

"Instead of going to an extreme that means death to the Sunday school by advocating that an army of cold Bibles should go walking into the service, I should rather advocate a change in the other direction, for I am even opposed to the tons of cheap literature filled with cloudy opinions that are now being scattered throughout our schools. We need lesson helps that are interspersed with incidents of adventure, and startling stories that have fire and life in them. Let some publisher take the hint.

"Then the boy or girl whose daily reading may consist of that style of writing will find the Sunday school more congenial to his nature, and he will go there with a bound. In that manner you are certain to win the boy's heart, after which you can, with tact, send the spiritual truth deeper into his soul. From such a scholar keep the Bible as far away as possible It is not even necessary to lay stress on the fact that the lesson text is, taken from the Bible.

"If the teacher can succeed in holding his respect for the Sunday school, then, in after years, when he is more matured and is better able to reason, you may bring the Bible itself more directly to his attention, and you will secure better results than are prevalent to-day in the Sunday school world."

The audience cheered lustily. In this cheering Mr. World and his companion joined. The visitor, who was deeply grieved at the warm reception of such destructive doctrines, arose to speak, but the intolerant cried out: "Away with him! We want no more bigotry and one-hundred-years-behind-the time speeches!" At the suggestion of the chairman he was hurried from the room to appear before a commission on lunacy.

The speech had its desired effect. The great majority of the audience were convinced that the Bible was not a "drawing card," and that it should not be introduced into the class study if it could possibly be avoided. A few pledged that they would do all in their power to effect a revolution in the present system of lesson helps.

Mr. World and Miss Church-Member left this hall and entered Hall No. 9. It was a rare privilege for them to walk through the largest Sunday school library in the world, where many committees were at work selecting books for their respective Sunday schools.

Satan had so ingeniously managed the composition of these books, and so artfully arranged them on the endless shelves, that one could scarcely discern the good parts of a book from the bad, or determine in which section of the hall the largest percentage of good books could be found. In this way committees almost invariably picked up considerable chaff with the wheat.

I looked at Blackana and sighed: "Oh! Blackana, how long will these things be? If only a conflagration would reduce the contents of that hall to ashes!"

"Ah! mortal," he coldly replied, "these things will never be destroyed, for the building is fire proof. Surely the Sunday school should get as much of its library as possible from a source so well protected."

"For what fiendish reason?" I asked as I was moved with indignation.

"Nothing fiendish about it. Satan can furnish books at less cost, and thereby be of material financial help to the Sunday school. Furthermore, he is able to furnish a larger variety and a more inviting class of books, with more spicy fiction, and less of that deadness so generally characteristic of the books coming from the hand of a narrow-minded Christian."

"Silence, thou agent of the Devil! Thou art again dealing in falsehood. When thou speakest to me, speak truthfully or hold thy tongue in quietness."

He rolled his eyes at me, but spoke no more.

In the early hours of the following day I saw the same two companions enter Hall No. 13 devoted to "The Best Literature for a True Christian to Read." They moved leisurely from table to table scanning and reading the books and booklets which, in great variety, lay before them.

Weariness urged them to a seat in the lecture department where they were entertained by a scholarly address on "Choice Literature for a Christian."

"It must not be forgotten." said the speaker in one part of his address, "that the mind can be ruined by lack of vigorous exercise. In the physical body the stomach would become weak and sickly were it not compelled, quite frequently, to digest strong foods or a great variety of them. So also the mind, in order to reach its true development, needs a wide variety of thought-food. Not alone that of a sickly-sentimental or sanctimonious kind which in its place is all right, but such a variety as will best stimulate the mind in a well-rounded, liberal education. In particular, a good Christian should peruse such literature as will inform him thoroughly concerning the enemies of Christianity. He should not spurn, but rather study infidelity, skepticism and every other hostile movement, so that he may be able the better to appreciate his own position. The Bible is not so much a book for reading, as a book of reference, and therefore a Christian's loyalty to Christ must not be measured by his reading and studying the Bible, but by his success in locating the enemies of the cross and studying their designs, looking over their encampments, and estimating the strength of their weapons. If he becomes thus acquainted with the foe, he is in better position to order an advance, or to effect a treaty whereby much strife may be avoided."

Hall No. 16 was next visited. It offered to its patrons a happy time. Here the work of the artist was in pleasing evidence. On beautiful walls were pictured retreats of all kinds. The games and sports, in endless variety, which make merry the park, field and glen, were the subjects of some of the paintings.

These were the titles of some of the larger wall paintings:

"A restful day under the oak."

"The campers at the midday meal."

"An hour of idle reading." "Around the camp-fire at night."

"At rest beside the bounding brook."

"Along the beach at bathing time."

"The cottage by the sea."

Nothing was said about the paintings on the wall; they were merely suggestive of the refreshment that came after toil.

The lecturer of this hall was a jolly man, an athlete of fine proportions, whose splendid appearance attracted the attention of the throng of listeners.

"We are not here to discuss the good or evil which comes from various kinds of recreation, but to tell you, from experience, what kind of reading to take with you when you go on a vacation, or a pleasure trip. As you are seeking rest for the body so let your religious books have a rest. Leave them all at home, except the Bible, and prayer book,-you might take them along to be used in case of sickness or accident. Then put in your 'grip' some humorous books, such as will make you merry. Besides these place therein some other very light reading, such as will rest the mind from the more serious things of life.

"As a father delighteth to see his children roam and romp in glee over the meadows after the time of faithful toil, so the Heavenly Father delighteth to see his true children lay aside the seriousness of prayer and Bible study, and go forth in joyful rest to the seashore, or to the quiet glen in the fastnesses of the woods. If you follow these directions, you will get the cream of pleasure and profit, and return to your secular or religious work with renewed vigor."

I saw many ministers, of the gospel in the audience, but not all seconded the words of the speaker. Mr. World and his confiding companion were surprised after entering Hall No. 27 to find on exhibition a copy of all the periodical publications of the world. This was a large hall and had sub-divisions, each devoted to a distinct class of literature. One department contained all non-sectarian religious publications; another the sectarian; still a third was devoted to daily newspapers, partisan and non-partisan; yet another contained all trade journals; another all the scientific periodicals, and thus the plan was continued throughout.

This was the busiest place of all, for some of the periodicals had their offices in this hall, while others had representatives there, so that countless thousands thronged the sub-departments daily. Each sub-department had its own corps of lecturers.

Many editors, before entering into active service, take the entire series of courses offered by this hall, and are thus taught to prevaricate, abbreviate, and exaggerate, or do ought else to attain the end in view.

I saw Mr. World and Miss Church-Member pass by one sub-department after another. They were not pleased with the excitement that prevailed. They had intended however to pause at the department devoted especially to the Sunday newspaper question, and tarried at the door long enough merely to catch these few words from one of the speakers:

"I am a member of the church myself, and bear an honorable name therein; but I am unwilling to be classed with a set of bigots who would rob us of our personal liberties and, if possible, place all kinds of restrictive measures about our inalienable rights. I stand for liberty first of all, and tyranny never. Why should one dictate to me what I shall read on Sunday? I look at my Bible more than one hundred times a year, and read a Sunday newspaper only fifty-two times. It was a happy change that started the regular press of the country to yield seven issues a week, and thereby send forth additional rays of enlightenment to a people who are in sad need of all that they can get to increase their intelligence.

"According to my opinion there are so many practices that are worse than reading a Sunday newspaper that Satan must surely be annoyed to see a man engaged in such a harmless pursuit. Happy, indeed, would we all be if the--"

The two companions passed on and heard no more, until they left this hall and paid a brief visit to Hall No. 38 devoted to "The Best Way of Conducting a Religious Newspaper."

There were very few editors present, but the debate amongst them was vigorous and, at times, very contentious, much to the interest and enjoyment of the spectators.

The question being discussed was: "How Can We Best Increase the

Circulation of the Church Paper?"

After a few exchanges of opinions, the chairman of the meeting advocated, with grave dignity, that all religious newspapers should be more conformed to the tastes and the level of a hungry world. "There is too great a contrast," said he, "between the mental condition of the laymen and the high, cold tone of the average religious paper. Let the editor of a church paper do as did his Master Jesus Christ,-come down to the level of the world, where he can reach the heart and the ear of the common people of whom the masses are composed. No paper should be so holy that it cannot adapt itself to the development of the natural as well as the spiritual part of man."

These remarks were warmly applauded.

Next an editor of a religious paper arose, and spoke with decision:

"I want to be as liberal and broad-minded as God would have me be. I came to this hall with doubtful steps. I cannot say that I have profited thereby. My mind is at variance with the chairman of this meeting. He says: 'All religious papers should be more conformed to the tastes of the hungry world.' Let me ask, with all honesty, what is the taste of the hungry world? Is it not a terribly perverted taste, a hungering for the black sins of death? I contend that it is the work of a good paper to be a beacon light, even though it shines from a lofty light-house. It may thereby shine out farther and wider. Away with the doctrine of devils that would pervert the truth and send with merciless fling--"

At this juncture the speaker was seized by an officer who came running in at the ringing of a bell and arrested the editor on the charge of "disturbing the peace," which, the chairman declared, was due to a diseased state of his mind.

Miss Church-Member was freightened from the hall by this episode, and was followed by her less fearful companion.

Automobiles are used by the agents of Satan to convey students and visitors from one college to another of the great University of the World.

I saw Miss Church-Member and her cherished escort leave the College of

Literature in one of these up-to-date carriages.

"Shall we tarry at the athletic field?" asked Mr. World as they came to a famous sporting ground.

"Let us rather hasten to the Temperance College," she suggested. But her manner indicated that she did not wish to urge him away from the place of his heart's desire.

"Altogether at your pleasure," he smiled, as he sank back into the comfortable cushions of the conveyance.

They soon reached the desired locality, saw the moving millions from all portions of the earth, and heard the ceaseless babble of their voices harmonizing with the work of this college which was known among the pilgrims of the King's Highway as The Devil's Temperance College. It covered many acres of ground, and consisted of many immense buildings, around which clustered many smaller structures serving for auxiliary purposes.

When Mr. World and Miss Church-Member walked about the college grounds, and saw more closely the magnitude and beauty of the edifices, they were so overawed that their tongues offered no comment.

They mingled a while with the merry multitude, and then at one corner of the group entered the gigantic building devoted to the subject of Temperance and the Bible. They hoped thereby to get the consensus of opinion on one of the complex questions of the day.

At the bureau of information the two companions were directed to the Public Hall of Debate, which was reached by the aid of one of the numerous electric elevators. The Great Hall had an auditorium of one hundred feet in height and a seating capacity fully capable of accommodating the visiting multitudes. The acoustics were so perfect that one, at the farther end of the room, could easily hear the speaker on the stage. When Mr. World and his friend had entered the hall they were surprised to learn that many of the auditors were members of the more radical churches along the King's Highway.

The corps of high titled professors who occupied the stage spoke at intervals, or answered questions which were propounded by persons in the audience.

Over the stage I saw in illuminated letters: TEMPERANCE AND THE BIBLE.

An aged man was speaking when the two comrades took seats near the center of the room.

"We are not here," explained the venerable man, "to prove that the Bible is either false or true. We leave that question for other schools to decide. It is our province to show what the Bible teaches on this important theme. Temperance is a word so misused and so abused that it becomes people of sound judgment to go to the rock bottom of the question as viewed in the light of Scripture."

Then, adjusting his green spectacles, the speaker opened the Bible and offered to explain, or to have explained, any part of it that bore on the subject of "Temperance from a Bible Standpoint."

A breathless silence followed until a moderate-drinking church-member arose with Bible in hand. "Did Christians, during the life of Christ, drink wine?" he asked, in a self-righteous manner.

The speaker called upon Mr. Wine Expert who quickly stepped forward from his chair on the stage.

"There can be no doubt," he affirmed, "but that they drank wine freely.

They knew enough in that day not to discard a good thing."

Hundreds of people sprang to their feet, but Mr. Venerable ordered that one should speak at a time and that they all should be seated and first listen to the questioner.

"Was that wine the same, in kind, that Noah drank, as related in Gen. 9:21?"

"Identical."

"And the same that is used to-day in the commercial world?"

"It is the same as the good wine that is used to-day. There are many modern adulterations."

The questioner took his seat. A man from London then obtained the floor. He also held a Bible as he spoke.

"I am a temperance worker in one of the districts of London, and would like to know whether you conclude by your former assertion concerning the early Christians that the Bible does not speak against wine drinking?"

"Not in a single place. How could it do so consistently?" answered the

Devil's expert.

"Will you please turn to Prov. 20:1. 'Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.' How do you harmonize this passage with what you have just asserted?" The man from London sat down.

"Quite an easy task for one who has given honest study to the question," said Mr. Wine Expert. "Wine is a mocker. Just as wisdom mocks at the calamity of those who reject it in Prov. 1:26. So, wine, personified in a similar manner, mocks at the folly of those who refuse it. (Applause.) Strong drink is raging. Just as in Jonah 1:15, the sea was raging in protest against Jonah because he refused to preach the truth to the people. So in this passage, 'strong drink is raging,' because so many church-members and ministers refuse to preach the real truth to the people on the subject of strong drink. (Prolonged applause.) If there were as much said against me falsely, as has been spoken against strong drink, I would not only rage, but would go raging and foaming over this stage in protest. (Tremendous applause and shouting from the people of the world.) I tell you more, my friends, strong drink will keep on raging as long as old Voices and 'The New Voice' of cranks and idiots are heard to squeak out their childish nonsense to an enlightened people." (Furious applause and demonstrations.)

"The last part of the passage is easily to be understood," continued the speaker. "'Whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.' How could a person be wise who allows himself to be deceived and hoodwinked concerning as good a thing as wine or strong drink?"

"Nobody, we need not fear," cried out a brewer from one side of the room.

"There is however a host," continued Mr. Wine Expert, "who are woefully deceived, and who are endeavoring to force their deceptions upon the state."

"And I am one of them," shouted a tall man from Kansas, U. S. A., as he violently jumped to his feet, and remained standing.

"I would suggest," calmly interrupted the venerable leader, "that our special photographer take a snap shot of this man. We are always glad to keep a record of such monstrosities. He looks like a fair specimen of a deceived man. (Laughter.) He is lean and bony, and if any one of you never before saw such a man, take a full view of him now. Suppose you," he said, as he continued pointing at the Kansas man, "slowly make a full revolution on your feet so that each one can here see all sides of you,-if you have more than one side." (Great applause amongst the people of the world.)

The man from Kansas stood still till the voice of the insulting outcry died away.

"I can stand abuse; I can stand irony and sarcasm; but I thank God that where I live I need no longer endure the insults of the Rum Devil. (Suppressed applause.) If Mr. Venerable thinks I am the only man present who comes under his classification of 'deceived persons,' I will demonstrate to him his folly, for there are many thousands here who have not yet bowed the knee to Baal."

"Out of order!" "Put him out!" "Away with him!" came from the audience.

"If there is a person here opposed to the Rum Traffic, let him rise," fearlessly continued the tall man.

Up sprang a W. C. T. U. leader; then another person; then a hundred from Maine; yea, a thousand more until over seven thousand, from all parts of the world, stood on their feet.

"Remain standing, I ask you! Let not one of you act the coward! There are others here today, who came in, as I did, to visit. Stand up! Show your colors! If you remain seated you will be classed with the enemy. The time to honor your cause is at hand. I ask you seventy thousand church-members present to choose this day whom you will serve."

Mr. Venerable, who was an experienced man in these uprisings, whispered to an excited saloon-keeper: "Let them proceed. A house divided against itself can not stand."

"I demand order," shouted a high-license advocate who owned a brewery, but the agitated fellow was soon calmed by these personal words from the venerable chairman: "Let these people go. They will soon get into factional contention and thereby break the point of their steel more effectually than we could do it."

"Remain standing, ye noble band of men and women!" shouted the Kansas man with increasing earnestness. "You, who are too cowardly or indifferent to rise from your seats, are throwing your influence this day on the side of the enemy, thereby casting a reflection on the church of our Lord Jesus Christ, and-"

This was more than a certain minister could bear. So, before the Kansas man had finished his last sentence, he sprang excitedly to his feet and shook his fist defiantly: "I want it distinctly understood that I am just as good as the man from Kansas, and just as much of a temperance man, but I don't believe in this way of showing my colors. I would not be standing now had I not been insulted more by that crank of one idea, standing there, than by Mr. Wine Expert who so contemptibly perverted Scripture."

Mr. Wine Expert sprang to the edge of the stage to defend his position, but Mr. Venerable was instantly at his side. "Come, come, don't spoil that fight; suffer rather than have them combine against you," were the quiet words of logic that brought him to his seat without uttering a word.

Then up jumped a few prominent church-members to express their indignation at the adverse criticism of the Kansas man.

"Those are exactly my sentiments, and I here offer my protest against this manner of procedure," said one as he looked approvingly at the minister.

"And so do I." "I am most emphatically of the same opinion." "I stand here, a true temperance man, to express my indignation at that Kansas prodigy," were some of the expressions which came from temperance men who were not willing to be classed with the seven thousand.

Then upwards of one hundred women rose to their feet and indignantly rebuked the Kansas man for his misjudgment in starting this factional display. This provoked some radical leaders of the W. C. T. U. who chanced to be there as detectives or visitors. They also arose in defense of the Kansas man.

I saw the tumult rising. Disorder was pre-dominant. Hundreds tried to speak at once. Saloon-keepers, brewers, whiskey politicians, and the professors on the stage were smiling in ghoulish glee. They enjoyed it more than a prize fight, and the results were at once more disastrous and more deplorable.

As the conflict waxed hotter some men and women were screaming, and some fainting, and some resorted to blows. Others scrambled to get from the room. The elevators were put in quick service, and I saw Mr. World and Miss Church-Member, with thousands of others, running from the scene of the fight.

"Let us go to another building," suggested Miss Church-Member.

A very short time after this I saw them enter the largest building of all the Temperance College. It stood centrally amongst the great group, and was devoted to "Hygiene and Temperance."

[Illustration: A Scene in the Devils Temperance College The fight between the temperence factions was greatly enjoyed by the saloon- keepers, brewers, and whisky politicians.]

After learning that they came as visitors, a director advised them to pass the many medical wings on separate flats and go to the great auditorium on one of the higher floors. Proceeding, in obedience to the advice given, they soon beheld a room of greater size and magnificence than the one which they had just left, and as they were taking seats they fixed their attention on the lecturer who had already been speaking for an hour. He was discoursing on the relation of strong drink to the stomach.

"It must be remembered," affirmed he, "that the stomach was made to serve man. The appetite is the true criterion by which he may know what his body needs. If he feels a thirst for alcoholic drink, it is akin to a hunger for any special class of foods. He is not to ask his servant, the stomach, whether it is willing to do the work of transformation. He is to give it the work to do. The stomach will do it, unless that particular digestive function is lost. It is claimed by some who know more about ditch-digging than about physiology, that alcoholic beverages ruin the lining of the stomach, creating ulcers, and other disorders. This kind of teaching reminds me of a conundrum. 'Why is a scientific temperance man like a dead man in his coffin?' Who can answer it?"

"Because each one ought to be buried," guessed a liquor-merchant from

Paris. (Laughter.)

"A good guess," said the speaker, but you have not yet hit the mark."

"Because needer von dem is vert any ding," said the proprietor of a beer-saloon from Germany. (Increased laughter.)

"You are still away from my idea," spoke the lecturer.

"I know it," said a rum-lawyer. "It is because they both lie."

(Applause.)

"That's exactly the truth of the matter. These so-called 'scientific temperance men' are accountable for more lies imposed on a credulous public than can be corrected for many years to come. Any sensible man knows that moderate drinking is healthful to the stomach. If a man drinks too much, he is liable to trouble, just like a man who eats too much, or sleeps too much, or even talks too much about temperance. (Applause and laughter.) I tell you, my good friends, a little of that elixir of life is just as good for my stomach as it was for Timothy's, and the good man Paul would say the same thing if he were here to-day. (Cries from the world of "that's so!" and "hurrah for Paul!") I am satisfied to have a great man like Paul on my side, even if I must know that some of his pigmy disciples are against me." (Increased applause.)

This speech was especially enjoyed by Mr. World who himself was addicted to a moderate use of alcoholic beverages. An announcement came from the platform that in an hour the eminent Dr. Strauss of Europe would discourse on "The Effect of Malt Liquors on the Heart," and those who wished to remain might spend the interim in social intercourse.

In consequence of this announcement the major part of the audience dispersed in varying groups, and discussed the merits of the lecture just ended.

Every creed was there represented by a few or more of its members, many of whom were favorably and deeply impressed by the argument of the Devil as it was given in the address.

Others I saw, not a few, who laid bare this iniquitous scheme of presenting the untruth, and declared that they would no more give ear to any teaching that came from that source.

This gave rise to endless quibblings and contentions between church-members of the same faith and those of separate creeds. These disputes continued with increasing bitterness until the hour had passed.

All eyes were fixed upon the stage as the portly Dr. Strauss arose to speak. His voice at first was slow and deep, and in all he was the personification of dignity. The first part of his lecture was a very convincing argument in favor of what is called the "Normal Use of Malt Liquors." He declared that moderate drinking could have no evil effect on the action of the heart, except in rare cases. To prove his general statement and to win the confidence of his hearers, he quoted over forty printed and written extracts from eminent physicians of the world.

After this general survey of his argument, he entered into details and illustrated the second division of his lecture by the use of pictorial charts. In this manner the construction and action of the heart were concretely shown.

In the third division of the lecture the Prince of Darkness showed his skill in manipulating the utterances of the speaker. By a second series of illustrated charts the lecturer intended to show how alcoholic beverages, in coursing through the human system, benefited the heart rather than injured it. In trying to establish this point he used the subtlest sophistry of Satan.

Through the three divisions of the discourse I heard vigorous applause, and when, in the smooth language of his final climax, he uttered the last word and was returning to his seat, there was a deafening roar from all parts of the vast hall. To the mind of Miss Church-Member the argument of Dr. Strauss was unanswerable, and consequently she was obliged to revise her radical opinions on the temperance question; and not only she, but a host of others from the ranks of the Christian church were influenced similarly.

After leaving this hall the happy pair spent a long time in passing through some of the other buildings of the group. Miss Church-Member was so filled with the doctrines of the Devil that she thought of going as a missionary to the pilgrims of the Narrow Way.

During their visit at the Temperance College Mr. World conducted his ever-faithful friend through some of the fashionable temperance-saloons connected with the institution.

Miss Church-Member would not have entered and much less indulged in the questionable beverages, had she not been so strongly influenced by the prolonged visit at the section of the group devoted to the study of "Temperate and Intemperate Drinks."

I was sorely vexed at the operations of this whole college and, looking at Blackana, I said impatiently:

"How can your comrades find delight in such an impish work-covering truth and scattering hellish sophistry abroad?"

"Delight?" repeated Blackana. "This world is but the Devil's Heaven, and those in his kingdom find chiefest delight in thorns, and not in flowers; in spinning sophistry, and not in dead things like truth and logic."